'08
Where in the world has Suri Cruise been? The normally ubiquitous toddler hasn’t been spotted in eight weeks, and theories on her sudden removal from the public eye are abundant. Some sources say Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been keeping their little rugrat at home because the paparazzi crush at a recent restaurant outing frightened her; others are speculating that the couple is purposely keeping Suri’s profile low in anticipation of her big birthday bash next month. Perez Hilton even jokingly (I hope) suggested that Suri checked into baby rehab.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes looked thrilled to be out at Cut restaurant in LA on March 5. Dining with actor Forest Whitaker and his wife, Keisha, the couple were celebrating the near completion of their new Hollywood Hills mansion. But something was out of place. Where was Suri? Until recently, Tom and Katie had taken their 23-month-old daughter with them everywhere. But Suri hasn’t been spotted in public since Jan. 16 — 61 days and counting at press time.
So what’s happened to her? Katie, 29, and Tom, 45, have always spoken about Suri as if she were a small adult. But an insider close to the Cruises says a series of events reminded the family that Suri’s just a child after all. One evening, on the way out of a restaurant, fans surged. “Suri freaked out,” the insider says. “She started blinking her eyes because people started taking pictures, and she put up an arm to shield her face. She cried and clung to Katie the whole way back to the hotel. That really upset Katie.”
There’s another only-in-Hollywood reason Tom and Katie have been keeping Suri holed up at their apartment in the Scientology Celebrity Centre: fear of overexposure. To celebrate Suri’s 2nd birthday, on April 18, “Katie and Tom are throwing a party to end all parties,” says the insider. “With all the publicity that it’s going to generate, Katie thinks it’s best for Suri to lie low.”
Other theories on the whereabouts of the toddler from the “Best Week Ever” blog over at VH1:
Now, if this were any other baby, the world would probably not even notice. But this being Suri, handily the world’s most adorable and, up until recently, the most photographed baby, her absence is cause for concern. Which leads us to ask: Where Is Suri? Here are 7 plausible theories:
1. Accidentally mistaking her for a chicken wing, Kirstie Alley threw Suri into a deep fryer. Upon realizing the mistake, Alley immediately removed America’s Best Baby from the fryer, but sadly… it was too late. Too, too late. On the bright side, Alley insists it was the most delicious baby she has ever eaten.
2. Tom and Katie panicked when they learned that Suri’s first words were “I want Ritalin.” She is now resting comfortably in a soundproof, padlocked drawer.
3. Katie Holmes has pawned poor Suri to buy Armani’s latest creation: A python-skinned covered baby shaped bag. Think of how many diamonds you can fit into it!
4. Suri was murdered by supposed fellow baby friend Shiloh Pitt… who is now on the crawl from the law.
5. Giving free stress tests in Times Square…
My theory is that she’s involved in some kind of Scientology ritual, just like her mysteriously absent older siblings. What do you guys think?
Suri Cruise is shown on 1/16/08 with her parents in Manhattan, thanks to Splash News.
Written by MSat
Posted in Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise
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25 Responses to “Tom and Katie keep Suri under wraps”
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Now I’m all for TinyTom & Kat(i)e conspiracy theories, but the paparazzi ambush idea is pretty plausible. It would sure scare the hell out of me, I can’t imagine how it would be for a kiddo.
But it could well be some bizzaro $cientology thing. They consider kids to be tiny adults so maybe she is in school already. But wouldn’t tiny adults be too old for a bottle?
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I’ve got 2 theories – A) she’s at Scientology Brainwash Camp, or B) well… really there is no B. And a sidenote: my kid is 17 mos and hasn’t seen a bottle since he was 8, Suri is waaaaay too old to be clinging to that thing. As she’s a grownup and all, they need to stage an intervention, have some of her sandbox playmates talk her down and get her off the nip.
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So true, dancingnancie – especially since Suri is actually about 8 years old.
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Baby intervention!
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Eh, some kids cling to their bottles–particularly at night–longer than others. It doesn’t mean they grow up to be dysfunctional. The restaurant incident sounds pretty plausible. It’s also a good illustration of why kids aren’t really tiny adults. They’re not prepared to deal with that kind of situation, and it’s not fair to ask them to.
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I think Suri is doing some sort of scientology thin were at 2 years old you have to reflect on your life in seclusion. We all know she was born a lot earlier than they say. So the timing is about right. Aldo she is a very indulged spoiled child and is starting to throw serious temper trantums and the perfic narcissistic father can’t have that. He wouldn’t want the world to know even scientologist don’t have the ability to control over indulged bratty 2 year olds. Take the darn bottle away from her. And he did not treat his other 2 so indulgently. Guess Nicole wouldn’t go for it. I can’t stand Katie when she talks about her daughter. ” Suri is a strong women” STFU
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Kids clinging to their bottles is not a good thing. It can lead to tooth decay, malformation of the teeth, lots of problems. Speaking as one who let her kid have a bottle until he was 3, then had to cough up the money for all the dental work.
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I’d be clinging to my bottle if I were her and had T&K as parents and nothing but Scientology to look forward to. Poor kid.
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There’s another possibility – enough heat has been put on Scientology recently from Anonymous that it’s possible that they’re concerned for Suri’s safety, whether from a kidnapping or just from exposure to the idea that someone disagrees with Scientology.
(If you have no idea what I’m talking about, there’ a pretty good article at Radar about the Anonymous/Scientology dustup)
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tvf, what a very interesting article! Thanks for the link.
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Since Suri is really Chris Klein’s baby they had to lock her away while she hit the Terrible Two’s in January…Can’t have people catching on to the real story…right?
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Excellent article, tvf, thanks for the link.
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tvf – great article. Very interesting – thanks for posting here. I hope the story of Miscavige’s niece is the nail in the coffin of the cult that is Scientology. It makes me sick that these people are basically running prison camps and yet are recognized by our government as a tax-exempt Church. Disgusting.
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Forgot to mention, in the shot of Tom getting out of the car, is that a little red alien pee-pee sticking out of his pants? LOL
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Judging from the one nude picture I’ve seen of Tom, KC, it’s about the right size, but the color is off.
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suri probably got old enough to think for herself and her sci-minders couldn’t have that!
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Poor little Suri. I wish that she could have a normal life. Katie should never have broken up with Chris Klein.
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KC – I wondered about that little red thing too – what is it?
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I’d not be surprised if they are worried about Anonymous. The Co$ is said to be on high alert at the moment because of all the activsm.
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I also think she is at the scientology center, locked up, and being brainwashed…
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I miss her, I want to see her. How come no one ever asks about Shiloh who is pimped out a lot. No one cares about her I guess.
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Take that damn bottle away from her already.
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Great article! Thanks for posting the link!
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What happened to David Miscaviges neice?
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I’d be clinging to a bottle too if those where my parents – a bottle of Jack Daniels…….
She has served her purpose for now -she’ll be left and the “kid ranch” (his sisters house)until shes required for a photo op to pimp out another film.
Those people scare me and Katie seems like shes had a lobotomy or is on some wicked drugs….
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