Lindsay Lohan wants a baby so someone will always pay attention to her

44417, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 3 2010. Lindsay Lohan leaves The Grove in LA after watching a movie with friends. She maybe took her friends to see Machete after tweeting MACHETE is in theaters today!!!! Go check it out! I'm so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful cast & experience! It's such a blessing! Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

I wasn’t even going to do this, just because the Family Crackhead has already brought enough LOLs today, right? But at the end of the day, this story could totally be possible, and thus, it’s something we need to prepare ourselves for. According to In Touch Weekly, Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby. Does Lindsay want a child because she’s finally grown up enough to realize that the whole world doesn’t revolve around her incessant crack drama, and she’s prepared to make a lifelong commitment to something other than a crack/fame addiction? No, of course not. According to ITW’s sources, Lindsay wants a baby because “She needs to be around someone nearly 24 hours a day. She thinks having a baby could straighten out her life.” Because that’s what babies are – perfectly willingly to work around a famewhore’s incessant need for attention and validation. But it sounds like the kind of scheme Lindsay would cook up, doesn’t it?

Despite her recent legal issues — and recent reports that while driving she allegedly clipped a stroller with a toddler in it — Lindsay Lohan wants to be a mom!

The star has confided to a pal that she’s determined to stay sober and thinks the best way for her to achieve that goal is to get pregnant. According to the pal, Lindsay, 24, hates being alone and thinks a baby would make the perfect companion. She’s seen what motherhood has done for former party girl Nicole Richie and thinks it can do the same for her.

“She needs to be around someone nearly 24 hours a day,” the pal says. “She thinks having a baby could straighten out her life.”

[From In Touch Weekly]

When did Nicole Richie become the poster girl for crackheads straightening out their life? Granted, I buy Nicole’s transformation, and I remember Nicole back in the day, when she was drinking and doing drugs and she was a nasty piece of work. I buy that Nicole is no longer that girl, and that motherhood was one (large) part of what instigated her change. Will it work for Lindsay? Eh… Nicole seemed to have some sense knocked into her when she first f-cked up. Lindsay hasn’t had any sense knocked into her, and we’re on her twenty billionth f-ckup.

Anyway, I just wanted everyone to be prepared. Lindsay is loose and looking to breed. And when she gets her baby and finds out how much actual work it is, she’ll try to return it. Or give it away. Or sell it. Or snort it.

44417, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 3 2010. Lindsay Lohan leaves The Grove in LA after watching a movie with friends. She maybe took her friends to see Machete after tweeting MACHETE is in theaters today!!!! Go check it out! I'm so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful cast & experience! It's such a blessing! Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

44417, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 3 2010. Lindsay Lohan leaves The Grove in LA after watching a movie with friends. She maybe took her friends to see Machete after tweeting MACHETE is in theaters today!!!! Go check it out! I'm so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful cast & experience! It's such a blessing! Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

44259, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Tuesday August 31, 2010. Lindsay Lohan returning home Tuesday night after dining out at Chateau Marmont. Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

 

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49 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan wants a baby so someone will always pay attention to her”

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  1. Me1st says:

    OMG, she should have her tubes ties ASAP

  2. citysuede says:

    unbelievable! having a baby is the hardest thing i’ve ever done! it’s like people who think having a baby will ‘save’ their relationship….only makes everything much more difficult.

  3. Strawberry says:

    As usual, I call bowsheet on In Touch Weekly. I think Lindsay’s way too busy thinking of her next tabloid payday to contemplate a kid. I totally co-sign with Poster 1 – get those tubes done up STAT!

    p.s. I’m just back from delicious vacation! I missed you Celebitchies. Sniff, happy end of summer everyone :(

  4. Molly says:

    I read an interview with Nicole Ritchie the other day on Celebrity Baby Blog. She talked about her wild child past and flatly states that neither her parents nor “Hollywood” were the blame for her choices–she and she alone was to blame for the things she did.

    To me, that awareness is the reason why she was able to straighten out her life and why Lindsay will always be a tragic mess. Unless you realize that your behavior is totally within your power, you will never have the ability to fix it.

  5. Innocent says:

    If this is true what a terrible idea.
    She can BARELY take care of herself.

    @Molly
    I read Nicole’s “novel” and she basically admitted that in it. She didn’t blame the Paris character she just accepted that picked that lifestyle and then got help.

  6. kelbear says:

    I think a doctor needs to sacrifice himself and tie her tubes!

  7. seesee says:

    She can’t take care of her self who the hell she is going to take care of a baby….

  8. jen says:

    Another meal ticket for Momma Looneyhan!

  9. Obvious says:

    Nicole also had a support system when she wanted help. parents who loved her-and didn’t need her “fame” LiLo has nobody like that, so even if she ever does want the help-who would give it to her?

  10. TG says:

    @kelbear – not tie them but burn them. tying can be reversed. LOL

  11. Jen Wind says:

    “Or snort it”
    LOL!! Love it!!

    This girl needs to have a major reality check, but bringing a baby into the world to have that reality check is not the way to do it. I would feel so bad for any child born into that messed up family!

  12. Benjamin says:

    Much like Russian, in Lindsay Lohan’s mind, the babies raise you.

  13. hellen says:

    OMG. If this is true it’s horrifying. The worst thing is, it DOES sound like Lindsay’s kind of “thinking”.

    Somebody give that girl a 10-lb bag of flour and a Snugli for a week, then we’ll talk.

  14. Brin says:

    Lindsay,you have a parole officer to pay attention to you.

  15. Moreaces says:

    And when she gets her baby and finds out how much actual work it is, she’ll try to return it. Or give it away. Or sell it. Or snort it.
    =========
    Snort

  16. Moreaces says:

    Nicole also had a support system when she wanted help. parents who loved her-and didn’t need her “fame” LiLo has nobody like that, so even if she ever does want the help-who would give it to her?
    ========
    Agreed

  17. dorothy says:

    That is a perfect argument for forced sterilization. Can you imagine her with a baby? Go ahead and call DHR.

  18. Mari says:

    Danger Will Robinson, danger!!

  19. Kitten says:

    Countdown till Dina has Lindsay Lohan, Jr in her first major film in three, two….

    PS Do they make baby-sized leggings and Wayfarers?

  20. Crash2GO2 says:

    Nicole also has one HUGE thing going for her. She isn’t a sociopath.

  21. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    OH FFS! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD!

    Please! Whatever powers that be, DO NOT ALLOW THIS!

  22. TaylorB says:

    I am not sure that one of the ’12 steps’ is ‘have a child to sober your drunken/junkie ass up’ I could be wrong. That must be the step right before ‘if you don’t want to get caught driving drunk simply outrun the cops’.

  23. Westcoaster says:

    Lindsay will not have a child for two reasons:
    1) If she tried to adopt, what adoption agency in their right mind give a child to someone like her
    2) If she tried to get pregnant that would mean no drinking or any type of drugs for nine months. She can not even be sober for a day unless she is locked up!

  24. anoneemouse says:

    She just wants a better way to hide her stash.

  25. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    People, people, space monsters:

    That uterus could never sustain life. But should the impossible occur, forget stopping at tubes. Hollow out the reproductive business, set it alight, throw the ashes into Loge’s magical fire, extinguish the leavings with holy water and Grey Goose, have the findings documented for the New England Journal of Medicine, hand the leavings and articles over to your friendly neighbourhood medical waste site, seal it in a HAZMAT suit, take it to the armoury, place it into their strongest bazooka, shoot it into the sun, and burn the bazooka.

  26. Eileen says:

    Of course she wants a baby! Who else could remove all that nasty residue from her crack pipe? Only little fingers can do that job!

  27. BethL says:

    No this story isn’t true. Nothing about Lindsay makes me believe that she wants a child no matter what the reason. She doesn’t have the patience to be pregnant.

  28. Anon says:

    She probably also thinks this is a way to make money….she can sell baby pics to a magazine.

    god she’s repulsive.

  29. original kate says:

    she may as well just put child protective services on speed dial now and save herself the trouble later on.

  30. GatsbyGal says:

    With all her boozing and drugging, the baby probably won’t live for too long inside her body.

  31. Madisyn says:

    Hope Mama Blohan is ready for another child to “raise” and pimp out!

  32. Chris says:

    Someone who’ll always pay attention to her? Pah, the kid won’t wanna know her once it’s a teenager, it’ll spend all its time in its room or with its friends.

  33. Cheyenne says:

    Kaiser, puh-leeeeeze, come the F on… this is from Outa Touch?! I can’t stand Lohan, but give us all a break… everything that shitrag posts is BS. Every. Damn. Thing.

  34. California Surfer says:

    Lindsay looks good in leggings.

  35. lucy2 says:

    I’m sure it’s total BS, but the thought is terrifying. Camp Lohan probably threw it out there to get more headlines, especially after Cokehead Hilton stole her thunder for a few days there.

  36. SoulLovah says:

    “Lindsay is loose and looking to breed. And when she gets her baby and finds out how much actual work it is, she’ll try to return it. Or give it away. Or sell it. Or snort it.”

    …or clip it with a Maserati (too soon?)

  37. chasingadalia says:

    You know, since she’s not been a cokehead in the last few years, I’ve totally forgotten about Nicole.

    I’m going to say that’s a good thing! More power to Nicole for assimilating into society.

    Also, I concur: GOD NO. TIE THE TUBES.

  38. wunderkindt says:

    She needs to be spayed!

  39. mymotherraisedmebetter says:

    sigh…HELLLLLLLO LiLo??? are you out there and listening??? Go find Drew Barrymore, she was a crackwhore before you and is a prime example on how to straighten out your life without a baby and maintain fame.

  40. dread pirate cuervo says:

    This is going to sound terrible, but she seems like the type to have a baby & have it have “an accident” just to garner the sympathy.

    When I got sober, I became unselfish enough to admit that I’m way too selfish to have kids of my own, if that makes any sense. I love my bf’s kids dearly, but I also love when they go home.

  41. logan says:

    Is she by any chance channeling Courtney Love? Look how well that mother – daughter relationship turned out. Get some real HELP!!!!!

  42. mollination says:

    “Or snort it”

    hahahahaha! Damn it I spilled my sprite.

  43. belle Epoch says:

    Her mother makes parenting look so easy! And funtastic!

    Friends got you down? Grow your own l’il buddy, just like Dina did.