I wasn’t even going to do this, just because the Family Crackhead has already brought enough LOLs today, right? But at the end of the day, this story could totally be possible, and thus, it’s something we need to prepare ourselves for. According to In Touch Weekly, Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby. Does Lindsay want a child because she’s finally grown up enough to realize that the whole world doesn’t revolve around her incessant crack drama, and she’s prepared to make a lifelong commitment to something other than a crack/fame addiction? No, of course not. According to ITW’s sources, Lindsay wants a baby because “She needs to be around someone nearly 24 hours a day. She thinks having a baby could straighten out her life.” Because that’s what babies are – perfectly willingly to work around a famewhore’s incessant need for attention and validation. But it sounds like the kind of scheme Lindsay would cook up, doesn’t it?
Despite her recent legal issues — and recent reports that while driving she allegedly clipped a stroller with a toddler in it — Lindsay Lohan wants to be a mom!
The star has confided to a pal that she’s determined to stay sober and thinks the best way for her to achieve that goal is to get pregnant. According to the pal, Lindsay, 24, hates being alone and thinks a baby would make the perfect companion. She’s seen what motherhood has done for former party girl Nicole Richie and thinks it can do the same for her.
“She needs to be around someone nearly 24 hours a day,” the pal says. “She thinks having a baby could straighten out her life.”
[From In Touch Weekly]
When did Nicole Richie become the poster girl for crackheads straightening out their life? Granted, I buy Nicole’s transformation, and I remember Nicole back in the day, when she was drinking and doing drugs and she was a nasty piece of work. I buy that Nicole is no longer that girl, and that motherhood was one (large) part of what instigated her change. Will it work for Lindsay? Eh… Nicole seemed to have some sense knocked into her when she first f-cked up. Lindsay hasn’t had any sense knocked into her, and we’re on her twenty billionth f-ckup.
Anyway, I just wanted everyone to be prepared. Lindsay is loose and looking to breed. And when she gets her baby and finds out how much actual work it is, she’ll try to return it. Or give it away. Or sell it. Or snort it.