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This is the photo of Eric Johnson that Jessica Simpson just tweeted with this message: “I have a major crush on you.” YIKES. Jessica has gone back to her old stalking mode, like she did with John Mayer and Tony Romo. Isn’t it weird when girls do that? Especially when it’s like they’re stalking the dude they’re actually dating. I had a friend like that – she treated her boyfriend like he was her complete obsession. Talked about him constantly, knew his every move, wouldn’t ever let the poor guy be alone. It’s sketchy… and it’s also very young, right? Like, that’s the kind of move you make when you’re 16 years old, not 30. But we’re talking about Jessica, and God knows what kind of age range she is intellectually (five?).
This tweet – which will be used in a court of law at some later date, after Jessica manages to smother Eric in his sleep with her Ding-Dong scented breasts – is just one of several inappropriate tweets Jessica has sent lately. She seems to love the fact that she’s dating a dude who isn’t ashamed to be seen with her, at all. Which makes me think less of Eric, honestly. Jessica has already tweeted a photo of them making out disinterestedly (hilarious) and referring to Eric as her “Yalie”. And just a few weeks ago, she tweeted another photo of the two of them, with Jessica starring lovingly at Eric’s nostrils. That time, she wrote that she felt “lucky” to be with him – a jobless dropout.
But with all of this gushing, I’m starting to think Eric must be awesome in bed, right? At least Jess is getting laid, finally.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Eric Johnson, Jessica Simpson
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ahhh her outfits make my eyes hurt.
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We all knew it was coming. Like seriously. Jessica becomes co-dependent and sticky to her men and pretty much scares them off. Nothing is important to a man like his space and his buddy time. She has no idea what space is. He will soon be running for his life like the others.
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He looks thrilled.
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LMAO
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This guy is probably loving her obsession! He is an unemployed ex-athelete that was neither very talented or well compensated during his football career. I see KFed 1 and 2 all over this guy. I bet there’s a baby announcement by New Years.
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Didn’t she do this with Tony Romo? go on & on about how “In Love” she was with him and yet we NEVER heard him say anything about Jessica?
her looks have gone WAY downhill since the divorce and she looks very much like man.
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She looks like she would have no problem tackling him!
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I soooo want her to take up Lainey’s offer on becoming her best friend, she really needs someone to give it to her straight.
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she looks orange.
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The guy looks like a total douche!
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@ Kaiser “…Ding-Dong scented breasts” LMFAO. You crack me up!
Please Jessica. Stop. Twittering.
I like her, I do, I want her to stop this desperate behaviour.
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I am not buying this “pseudo-boyfriend” stunt. Nothing more than hire a boyfriend to change people’s perception that she’s not clingy and desperate. What I am feeling is that she’s going through some serious depression and needs to look after herself — so many people would jump at the chance to have her money. Trying to play the “cute and dumb blonde” angle only works in your early twenties. After 30 with no “real” talent you are just washed up and thrown aside by the media executives. I am expecting a serious meltdown for this gal in the New Year. She’s going to crash — after she learns that both John M. and Tony Romo are getting married. Hopefully, she will snap out of this rut and just focus on herself.
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Wow. She is a fashion icon, huh? That beady number is hillarious. Mooooo!
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He could have smiled for her. I don’t like when guys are d-bags act like he has to cool show affection.
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Did the season finale of “The Closer” make you think of Ding dongs? Still an awesome descriptor.
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I love you Kaiser, you make my day!
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So many stories lately about who single actresses are dating and how desperate they act. Same with Aniston. Maybe he is a douche, maybe he isn’t. Maybe they are just trying to find the right guy. There’s nothing “desperate” about that. We’ve all been there. She’s just being who she is and hopefully she’ll find the right one eventually.
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I would have more respect for her if she didn’t fall fast & hard for every guy she goes out with. Just once I’d like her to date a guy and publicly say, “Nope, he wasn’t the one for me.”
Poor girl needs a fashion intervention and a grounded best friend.
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why does she always gain that whale-weight when she has a new man.
get it together. sheesh.
*eyeroll*
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Maybe she is acting a little immature about all this but perhaps they are both really in love. You never know. Just because he doesn’t have diarrhea of the mouth about it doesn’t mean its not mutal. Just sayin’.
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Read some of the Leann Rimes posts on this site…hard to fathom but Rimes is even MORE delusional and obsessed than this one.
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He doesnt look or act like someone in love at all, looks like he’s just doing his job.
Poor Jess, I wish she would realize how all this twitter fawning over this guy just makes her look pathetic.
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Omg. Doesn’t she have a stylist? How can she look like she does in the last picture when she EMPLOYS someone to manage her image?
*gobsmacked at last image*
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hahaha at “this tweet, will be used against jessica later in a court of law” killed me. i love this website.
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My ex best (guy) friend’s wife stalks him…goes to his job (he is a bartender) and sits at the bar all night and watches him like a hawk. She did it when they were just casually dating too. If my fiance’ did that-it would be over. It’s creepy when this girl does it, and even creepier as Jessica does it in front of the WORLD. I understand her biological clock is ticking. She wants to be loved, settle down, have kids…her younger sister already did it, and so that has prolly been eating at her, but for goodness sakes-she needs to slow it down. She is going to end up scaring guys away. Or, as she is footing the bill, maybe not.
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That dude looks seriously creepy, I wonder if Jessica is paying for some sniff sniff for him – his eye’s are red which would make me think he’s smoking some weed, but they have that Charlie Sheen beady hardness to them which makes me think coke.
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Also, this dude looks like he’s eating fast food and ding dongs himself and not doing too much football or physical work or anything and it is funny how the light is reflecting off of Jessica’s nipple.
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That’s not THE Eric Johnson who is a total guitar genius, is it?
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She’s orange.
Why is she orange? Dammit Jessica, you’re cute as hell! Pull it together!
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Dude, when your shirt buttons are straining and making little semi circle air flaps, the shirt is too tight.
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His contract states the number of times he must be seen in public with Miss Simpson. Even if he finds it distasteful, her immature public gushing won’t scare him off, it’s also part of the contract. She’s got jeans to sell and he understands the “relationship” is being used as a marketing tool.
And should his contractually obligated dna donations result in a mini marketing tool (oops…I mean “child”), he understands the Jessica Simpson baby clothes line will be launched with a tweet from the delivery room (“just started pushing my Yalie Jr. out, y’all!”) accompanied by a picture of the baby’s head crowning.
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…or maybe she’s in love and acting cute with her boyfriend?
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Lay off Jess for awhile or look at all the other celebs tweeting about there men or women in there lives. Its not just Jess. That attacks on Jess are rediculous.
He’s not broke for one thing & not even close.
Maybe they will make it & maybe they won’t but if there happy let it be & figure it out.
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Oompa-Loompa-Doompity-Doo
I’ve got a vapid has-been for you…
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His Body Language is the same as Tony Romo’s. He hardly looks like he’s having a good time with her.
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