Taylor Swift, post-Gyllenhaal: “She realizes it’s all not a fairy tale”

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Last night I had the chance the read the whole Us Weekly cover story about Jake Gyllenhaal’s tragic phone-dumping of Taylor Swift. The piece is epic, and it sounds almost entirely one-sided, all sources coming from Team Swifty. Do you think all of Swifty’s little teenage friends call up Us Weekly and gossip about their friend? Or do you think the sources are from Team Swifty, Inc, making this tabloid story the official, business-transaction version of what happened? I don’t know, I really don’t. I no longer care about Swifty in general (I haven’t since the John Mayer stuff), but I don’t think she’s as devilish as many of you think. My take on her is that she truly is an immature, child-like girly-girl who throws everything she has at any guy who is mildly interested. I also think that at this point, that idea of her – “immature, child-like girly-girl” – has become her shtick, her marketing tool, her “Oh, gosh!” persona that helps her sell, sell, sell. Anyway, Us Weekly has released part of their cover story, and let’s just say, The Aniston is strong in this one. Swifty is hellbent on coming out of the Gyllenhaal relationship sounding like The Biggest Victim Ever.

She sure didn’t see it coming. When Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift over the phone just before New Year’s — ending their whirlwind two-month romance — Swift, 21, was completely blind-sided, multiple pals tell the new Us Weekly, out now.

“It was a 180-degree turn and so out of the blue,” a source tells Us of 30-year-old Gyllenhaal’s decision.

Explains another insider, “Jake just told her it wasn’t working out…Taylor is really upset and hurt. She doesn’t know what she did for him to put a stop to it. She feels really burned by him.”

Indeed, it was an about-face for the Love and Other Drugs actor, who was first to pursue Swift, asking his handlers in October to set them up; their first weekend together, he took her on an apple picking date in upstate New York and to a Saturday Night Live taping in NYC.

“Jake started this whole thing, but then he just stopped responding to her,” another source says.

[From Us Weekly]

The print edition has a lot more of the same stuff – “sources” wondering what Jake was playing at, inviting Swifty to spend time with his family, “sources” doing the “I told her so” thing about how Swifty was warned not to jump into the relationship headfirst. And yes, Us Weekly even goes into detail about how Swifty is working out like crazy now that she’s single, plus she’s dieting, plus eyewitnesses claimed she looked “super skinny” at the People’s Choice Awards. Another source tells Us Weekly: “She’s doing better now, but she’s still healing… she’s starting to learn to be more cautious with love. She realizes it’s all not a fairy tale.” POOR SWIFTY. I told you, The Aniston is strong in this one.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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67 Responses to “Taylor Swift, post-Gyllenhaal: “She realizes it’s all not a fairy tale””

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  1. lili says:

    yeah … blah blah, don’t even bother reading her words, too shallow or fake as usual

  2. normades says:

    I just watched Brothers last night. Jake acted circles around Nat P and Tobey. He was super hot with the tats as well.

    That said, he should fire whoever told him to go after the swift. Backfire!

  3. Rita says:

    Okay, heres my take on Swifty’s faux dong adventures.

    She’s probably been dating a nice guy for the past year or two who has recently graduated college but she wants to keep her real relationship private. In the mean time, her handlers want her to evolve from “I’m still waiting for my first menstrual cycle” to “I kissed a dong and I liked it” in order to sell into a broader audience.

    Note to Taylor- We love your long and lanky Cinderella image. Leave well enough alone.

  4. gabs says:

    The difference is Aniston doesnt really want a man. She likes being single and going to have fun in Cabo and uses the whole “I want marraige and babies” thing to sell movie tickets.

    Swifty is genuinely a naive young girl that wants to find the love of her life. lol. I feel for her this time because Jake approached her with his agents and for him to ditch her like that is SO shady. The John Mayer thing is on her though because everyone knows what a scumbag he is by now. She has such bad taste in men.

  5. yana says:

    He can’t fire back at her since she knows his secret. He is gay.

  6. kai says:

    I thought “apple picking” was just one of your jokes, but they ACTUALLY went apple picking?

    wtf.

  7. Kaiser says:

    Kai – Apple picking, ice cream outings and cuddlefests.

    http://www.celebitchy.com/123484/taylor_swift_thinks_jake_gyllenhaal_is_good_husband_material/

    It’s like an 8-year-old’s journal.

  8. malachais says:

    @rita, I have to agree. The photo of jwifty walking in NY was so staged. I don’t really understand Taylor though, she’s talented. She doesn’t need these stupid tabs writing about her.

  9. heatheradair says:

    so, she looked “super-skinny” compared to WHAT? She’s already a bony little wisp…..I think she’d blow away in the wind if she “diets,” period.

  10. mariangela says:

    I have zero sympathy for this girl or relationship. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all part of the contract to make Jake look like the arrogant player kind of guy who tosses girls aside without thinking of their feelings.

    I mean it works for both their images. It makes him look tougher and less gay and makes her look more innocent and like a victim deserving of sympathy. Plus everyone will be waiting to hear the song she makes on her relationship.

  11. Sumodo1 says:

    Swifty needs to call Julianne Hough STAT to warn her that bearding is bad for you.

  12. Hollowdoll says:

    How long did they date? A month? Swift comes off as really childish and stupid to me. How old is she? 14?

  13. flutters says:

    The Aniston is strong in this one.

    LMAO Kaiser, that is gold!

    I actually do agree that Swift is a child emotionally. But I also think she’s a precocious business mind who’s gone along with convenient PR hook ups (Taylor Lautner and Jakey) knowing what they’ll do for her profile. Then add back in that Back To December is about how she regrets dumping Taylor Lautner and that’s why I think she’s more manipulative for her career’s sake than you’re giving her credit/blame for. She and her PR team are a good match.

    You know who I’ve ended up with more respect for through this scene? Cory Monteith. He went along with only a couple of photo ops when his and Taylor’s agents arranged for them to meet, hoping that a showmance would bud to boost both their profiles (with Glee being the hot show, Taylor being Taylor and saying she wanted a guest role on Glee). But Cory had the sense to cut bait when he didn’t feel it, before they could be considered in a relationship with all the drama that would have inevitably ensued.

    Between that and the fact that Cory actually came off intelligent and evolved in that Glee GQ interview, I’ve definitely developed some respect for him.

  14. brin says:

    She needs to calm down, be a little choosy and not run off with every Joe, John & Jake she meets.

  15. Kj says:

    I know I’m one of the few but I really doubt he’s gay. Jake had a huge following after Donnie Darko, and indie audiences are more accepting of the gays than traditional Hollywood, but even then, bearding is becoming less and less common. The only two who really do it are Tom/Katie and the Travoltas, and that’s because they’re Scientolobigots. Jake doesn’t need to be straight to sell. He had an audience that liked him for his work before he was a heartthrob so him being gay and hiding it makes no sense. And do you ever hear stories of him pursuing dudes like you do with John Travolta? No, seriously, have you?

    As for Taylor, all her friends are wondering what happened, like it was totally out of the blue, but I’d wager that once Jake got over the “oh she’s blonde and wholesome!” initial attraction, he probably found her annoying. She seems like a stage 5 clinger, and the fact that she was dumped over the phone TWICE says red alert to me. The Jonas was a douche, obviously, but maybe he broke up with her over the phone for the same reason Jake did – seeing her little glittery heart shatter into fairy dust would’ve made HIM feel bad, and guys DO NOT like confrontation.

    And I really don’t think she can play the victim here. He pursued her because he thought she was cute and wanted to get to know her (supposedly, I’m still not convinced this whole thing isn’t one giant orchestration). Once he got to know her, he said “thanks but no.” isn’t that how dating works? You pursue someone to see what they’re actually like, then act accordingly. Taylor was annoying and immature. Jake bailed. Why is he such a monster?

  16. bawlah says:

    i think that their relationship was just for the attention…nd isnt he lgay?????

  17. Mia Girl says:

    I appreciate Taylor Swift bc she does provide a positive image for young girls vs most others in the industry. But honestly, it is time for a new PR strategy because at this point, even my thirteen year old daughter who is a MAJOR fan of Swift’s is disconnecting… she thought it was gross that Swift dated such an older man to begin with and now is saying she needs to stop talking about her break-ups because she looks desperate.

  18. Erica Smith says:

    I am two years older than Taylor, and must admit it is really hard in the dating scene. I always go out with guys,who aren’t even that cute honestly, and end up liking them and it is seldom reciprocated by them.

  19. yana says:

    Bearding is trendy as ever. I know it’s difficult for you to accept it but Hollywood is gay. People who go into this profession are mostly gay.

    Who were the guys that went to drama classes at your school?

  20. mariangela says:

    @erica smith

    I’ll be 23 in a few weeks and you know I can completely agree. Either I fall for all the wrong guys (highly likely) or guys these days just wanna have some fun and not get attached and tied down. And I’m talking about guys who are 25/26. Heck I was sure that by this age, they had matured but whom I kidding right, they NEVER mature ;)

    It’s a worldwide problem, haha I mean I’m from South Africa. But if anyone out there wants to prove me wrong, name the country and I’ll be there in an instant.

    P.s To all fellow commenters, I realise I have divulged my love life and overcommented. Forgive me, my next comment (on another post) will be normal I promise. I’m not some crazy girl :)

  21. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    Its because he doesnt actually LIKE vaginas, Swifty.

    Geez, I thought you woulda figured it out when you didnt have sex with him the whole time.

  22. Madison says:

    Oh come on! she knew from the beginning the relationship wasn’t real just another hollywood relationship arranged by agents and publicists.

  23. Ferguson. says:

    @mariangela & @erica smith:

    Come to Argentina, you’ll find some mature and hot meat under 25.

  24. jover says:

    Agree lili and madison – she is becoming a caricature. She can’t sing live, her songs are lame crap, her “life” is incredibly staged, playing four chords doesn’t constitute playing the guitar – and young girls, soccer moms, and cw fans would rather listen to her than Aretha or Janis Joplin – please, don’t they have any taste.

  25. Fire says:

    @yana – really? That’s a pretty bold, close-minded statement. I think you meant that the guys are gay, not “people”, right? At any rate, ALL of the guys in my drama class were straight.

  26. merry says:

    @flutters, I agree. Great analysis!

  27. Fire says:

    Team Kj all the way! Jakey is not GAY, but I do think his decision to pursue Taylor must have been crack-induced or something. He certainly doesn’t need the publicity of another showmance. Maybe that’s what turned him off – all the paps. That and realizing that Taylor is just way too young and immature for him.

  28. June says:

    People who think Jake is gay have the worst gaydar ever.

  29. Stubbylove says:

    @mariangela – couldn’t agree more. “She’s still healing”…after a 2 month relationship? Come on… We’ve all had our heart broke but gimme a friggin small break on this one. I know you’re young but please stop being such a drama dumbshit Swifty.

  30. Isabel says:

    Rainbows, unicorns, fairies, Skittles, bubble baths, ice cream, teddy bears, butterflies, daisies!!!!!!!

  31. sam says:

    How long were they “seeing” each other really…like a month?

  32. Bizy says:

    he’s not gay: my awesome gaydar shows zero.

  33. Welldun says:

    “My take on her is that she truly is an immature, child-like girly-girl who throws everything she has at any guy who is mildly interested”

    Sounds like Jessica Simpson

  34. Jenna says:

    Agreed. I don’t think he’s gay. Also, swifty needs to stfu– THIS IS DATING. IT WAS 2 MONTHS!!! 2!!! Not 2 years. Get over it.

  35. Pix says:

    Taylor’s people should stop making her a professional victim. It’s tired and a bad message to send to all the little girls out there who actually like her.

  36. dread pirate cuervo says:

    @Rita OMGLMFAO!!!

    I thought chickie was doing pretty well for herself. Unless Jake told her that he is indeed Toothy Tile & that he’s boning Joe Jonas while John Mayer pisses on them, this is type of famewhoring is uncalled for.

  37. Kari says:

    “The Aniston is strong in this one”
    That is on of the funniest things I’ve heard

    Really starting to love this site. Witty,with the perfect balance of snark and humor

    :)

  38. Rita says:

    @24-Can’t read your name.

    Bearding is the act of a heterosexual female dating a gay man. The “beard” is the female that disguises his sexual orientation. Eventually he jumps out of the cake but nobody’s suprised.

  39. pixiegirl says:

    This girl annoys me in epic proportions. And don’t get me started on her adult female fans. UGH.
    That said, it seems Jakey burned her, which was pretty shitty of him. But honestly, Jakey, what did you expect from this vapid, little girl? Real opinions and deep conversations?? Srsly?

  40. sapphire says:

    @Rita, LOL but this one really jumped the shark.

    I like the possibility that this is a PR coverup for Swifty’s normal-formal down home boy friend.

  41. Lady D says:

    Ferguson, I hope that’s an open invitation cause I’m coming too.

  42. california angel says:

    LOL! the comments are great today! I am so thankful I went through my live-and-learn dating phase out of the spot light, could you imagine; “So and so gets dumped a week before prom!”(happened, thankfully though, he was a douche), but really I don’t think I could handle everyone talking about my love life all the time. P.S. Swifty needs to buy herself a black wig and hit the town looking for some fun not date some guy 10 years her elder who likes to tiptoe through the tulips, IMO.

  43. Camille says:

    @Kaiser: You are on fire today, excellent stuff.

    @Kj: Excellent comment. I agree.

  44. Katie says:

    Oh. Dear. God. I tried REALLY hard to be positive about Taylor when I found out they were together. Mostly because I trust Jake’s judgement. But I think this proves my cousin’s theory (which I hoped DESPERATELY was not true) any guy who gets with her just gets so annoyed with her cause she’s such a “immature, child-like, girly girl” (as the article put it) that any guy with a brain in his skull would go running the opposite way. Now, I appreciate Taylor’s apparent commitment to be a stand-up celebrity and not go all Lindsay Lohan (time will tell, I guess) but its not cool to go to the press when dear sweet Jake Gyllenhaal dumps you and make him sound like a jackass. I think we all know who the true jackass is in this scenario.

  45. JenJen says:

    He’s gross and she’s so boring.

  46. Patricia says:

    I am 45 now, but I clearly remember the heartbreak of dating in my 20s. It does suck, but it is not the end of the world and yes, the more she cries about it the more pathetic and desperate she looks. No one wants to date a victim. Get over it girl and keep it private. Give him the big FU and get happy. This is life. And unfortunately, the dating scene does not improve as you age. Love and focus on yourself first and always. If a relationship comes along great, but don’t make finding a man your greatest ambition in life. There is SO much more out there to enjoy and you are not invalid without a man by your side.
    IMO – That’s the positive message she needs to give young women.

  47. Elfie says:

    There was a blind, about a girl who “dated” a lot of guys, but most of them was PR stunts,or that they actually made her suffer seriously (John Mayer) And most of the time the reason for the split was because.. she was a virgin… The blind was something like that.
    Everyone guessed Swifty, and maybe thats the reason her relationships dont last. Because she refuses to do it and because most of her lovers are.. gay?

  48. Kimberly says:

    Ummmmm maybe it’s because Taylor needs to grow the eff up, and quit acting like a high school kid every time a camera is on her. That’s probably why he dumped her, there is a big age difference between the two.

  49. Nanz says:

    I can’t believe their “whirlwind” dating relationship is getting as much or more coverage than Ry Ry and ScarJo’s whirlwind marriage. Pitiful. I used to like this girl despite her music because I thought she was the antidote to Disney stars. But her persona didn’t age with her years, so now she’s just…simple and annoying. Ugh.

  50. Mizz Tickles says:

    Rita that was so funny :) :) :)

  51. Mizz Tickles says:

    And I’m still holding out for Jake and Jennifer Aniston come on guys, that was some serious chemistry in “The Good Girl.”

  52. Dhavy says:

    Maybe Jake broke up with her when he heard the rumors Ryan was getting married (he needed the alone time to try to win Ryan)

  53. Jenny says:

    I feel as though the hate towards Taylor Swift is unwarranted. Many people think Taylor Swift is “immature” but the girl just turned twenty one. That is still young. In my opinion it is much more “immature” to get wasted and dance on tables and then sing about it. So she sings about her feelings? People have done worse things.

  54. Cakes says:

    A broken heart after 2 months??? Girl needs to toughen up.

  55. Stef says:

    New Album – Bursting the Bubble(boy) of love.

    So I went for a walk in my old blue jeans and I kicked up a rock and saw a bug and I screamed and you picked me up in your early 30s arms and im really tall so i look kind of older but i still write my lyrics in a lisa frank binder and i love unicorns and my mom said hes too old and i said you dont understand and we ran to my car and you got in and you looked me in the eye and said lets try, try, try. and so we tried for the week and then i let you touch my boob but then you went for the skirt and i said no i want to wait and you said but my ex let me do it and i said well i’m not miss sweet home alabama and then you called me on the phone and i said lets talk about my hair and you said this isnt fair and i said what do you mean and you said i cant do this anymore and i said why does everyone break up with me over the phone and you just hung up and so now im here bursting the bubble (boy) of love, in my old blue jeans and i still know your favorite starbucks order and I love to pick apples but it was never enough for youuuuuuuuu

    Seriously, sing it to the beat of “you belong with me”. It’s terrifying.

    Swifty, I expect writing credit when you win your next grammy.

  56. Kloops says:

    If legitimate, she’s ridiculous and annoying, but I think this “relationship” was a PR sham. It’s the primary thing for me that indicates JG is gay other than this I’d guess no; now I’m not so sure…

  57. insidescoop says:

    Not really knowing who Taylor Swift was I just managed to get through 2.5 vids of hers. Now my ears are bleeding and my brain has gone numb.

  58. tapioca says:

    If you’re a good girl you’re criticised for being “immature and annoying”, if you’re a bad girl you’re criticised for being a bad role model. Either way you can’t win – but at least unlike Lilo & Demi & Miley, you’ve kept your cash, out of rehab and herp-free.

    *musses up hair and applies eyeliner*

    Leave Taylor ALONE!!!

  59. Hakura says:

    OMG, Stef. Brilliant. & absolutely terrifying.

  60. Evie Baena says:

    You put outsomething absolutely fabulous!Now my thoughts shall not let me have a sleepat night.

  61. Wendy says:

    Ugh. Immature is right. It was cute when she was 18, being a gossip girl was the “right” thing to do then as a teenager and no one really complained that she wasn’t acting her age. But now? Really?? Carrie Underwood was very mature in the spotlight at 21, and she didn’t go mouthing off about guys. Grow up Taylor and stop making real life relationships turn into tabloid trash songs. Just so you guys know, Taylor is NOT the face of country music, she has been shut out from every country music awards show recently because they want to distance themselves from her.

  62. ain't scared says:

    first of all men are intimidated by succesful women, but i bet jake and taylor are at 2 different places in life. Taylor is young and trying to sell her albums and very dedicated. jake is probably ready to settle and have someone around all the time…

  63. Lana says:

    She’s 22 going on 15. She slams people who’ve wronged her through her songs. Get over it. Is she going to be doing this at 35? I see a Conor Kennedy song at some point in the future.