Joan Rivers isn’t a woman I’ve ever thought of as particularly intelligent. In my opinion you have to be smart to be funny, and supposedly she used to be known as funny back in the day. This was brand new information to me. Being witty requires intelligence; being catty just requires being ugly. And thanks to the help of several plastic surgeons, Rivers has the last quality down pat. And I figure you can’t be that smart if you can’t tell when it’s time to pack in the knives and porcine injections (or whatever the hell it is she puts in her face).
So all that said (hey look at how I can be ugly and catty too!), Joan Rivers thought it was a good idea to call Angelina Jolie stupid. Now I’m not saying Angelina is up in her lab making new chemical compounds or anything, but I seriously doubt that Joan Rivers is intelligent enough to criticize anyone else’s mental power.
Comedienne Joan Rivers has found a new target for her hard-hitting gags — Hollywood superstar and Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie.
The sharp-tongued Rivers dished to reporters during an interview with GMTV, “Well, I’ve worked with stupid actresses — I’ve worked with Angelina Jolie — she saw a sign that said ‘WET FLOOR’ one time, and she did!” Rivers adds, “I mean, she’s attractive, but not a bright girl — stunningly beautiful, but stupid.”
Congratulations Joan, you reek of desperation. And probably that old lady smell too. You know, the one some old people get when instead of washing their own hair every day they go to the beauty parlor once a week? Somehow they forget that cleaning from the scalp down is still an essential daily activity. I just look at this woman and can see (yes see) the smell of my great grandmother’s basement. Musty, dank, and too many old comforters and empty jars laying around. Of course in Rivers’ case the jars have horrifying labels like “placenta cells” and “Restylane, trial version, canned 1988.”
Frankly I wouldn’t want Joan Rivers saying I’m beautiful. That’s like Picasso saying your face goes together in a way he really likes.
Here’s Joan at the photocall for her new play “A Work in Progress by a life in Progress” today at the Leicester Square Theatre in London. Photographer: Daniel Deme . Images thanks to WENN.