Charlie Sheen admits he’s broke, co-signs Rob Lowe as his replacement

Charlie Sheen toned down the crazy from previously deafening levels and now seems to be attempting to play nice. His last video rant may have been his swan song, because he claims it was his final one and he also claims one of his two radio interviews yesterday, was his last. (*sigh of relief with realization that this won’t last*) For him I guess this is progress.

It looks like Two and a Half Men could be proceeding at some point with a new lead, which would make financial sense for producers and CBS in that it remains one of the most popular shows on television despite its mediocrity. Names that have been floated by the press include Robert Downey, Jr. (no chance), John Stamos, and most recently Rob Lowe.

In his radio interviews yesterday, Sheen said that Lowe would be a great choice, and claimed that he’ll get paid for those episodes even if Lowe is replacing him. (TMZ reported a couple of days ago that Sheen has a “Michael J. Fox clause” in his contract that stipulates that he gets paid if someone replaces him. That’s going to be a long court battle.) He also expressed doubt as to how the transition from his character to Lowe’s would be presented on screen. He even apologized, sort-of, to co-star Jon Cryer for calling him a troll. Someone talked some much-needed sense into Charlie or maybe the withdrawal psychosis is wearing off. Sheen half-admitted the rumors that he’s broke (he said “I have no dough“), so that could be the motivation right there. Here’s some of what Sheen said:

On calling Jon Cryer a troll
“I’ll apologize to Jon right now. I was in a mood and I threw that out to somebody… It’s a half apology — it’s an apol! I didn’t know they – well I kinda knew they were gonna print it. Yeah, I knew they were gonna print it. I confuse myself.”

On his financial situation
“There’s tons of opportunity…I’ve got geniuses just waiting for me to say ‘let’s do this.’ I’m not really worried. I’ve got no job, I’ve got no dough, but…”

On Rob Lowe replacing him
“He’s a buddy of mine, he’s a beautiful man, a brilliant actor, and I hope he does it and kicks its ass because I still get [paid]”

His advice to his replacement
“Don’t look at the 177 episodes that I brilliantly did. Just park those!” he said. “Ignore the 400 reruns every week that you can’t avoid. Cancel your Sheen app. I’d recommend, in all seriousness, that they make it their own.”

On the future of the show
“I don’t even know if they would call the [character] ‘Charlie’ anymore … how does the show transition?” he asked. “Do you have [the show's creator & executive producer] Chuck [Lorre], that silly sad troll, do you have him talk in the camera and say, ‘Here’s what happened’ and then Rob Lowe comes out? Or do they just do it, without explaining it, and hope no one notices?”

On Saturday Night Live spoofing him
“Those are all warm hugs, they’re all an absolute homage. If it’s done tastefully and with really smart humor, I just think it’s totally gnarls-gnarlington.”

On if he’ll do another interview
“This could be my final interview. This is where it all began and where it all ends.”

[From KEarth101 and The Dan Patrick Show via People, Hollywood Reporter]

It’s telling that Sheen is flattered when people make fun of him while Lohan gets her panties in a twist. So Sheen is just an addict with a creative mouth who managed to squander a fortune on hookers, blow, watches and mansions. He’s trying to tone it down now, and he could possibly be successful with a lot of help. You know that’s not going to happen and it’s just a matter of time before he acts out again.

Oh and I just found out that Sheen shot a video for Funny or Die that’s scheduled to go up today. They previously did a spoof of Jerry O’Connell auditioning for Two and a Half Men and doing his best Charlie impression. It was hysterical.

Jerry O’Connell auditions for Two and a Half Men.

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50 Responses to “Charlie Sheen admits he’s broke, co-signs Rob Lowe as his replacement”

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  1. Michelle says:

    Its crazy how these celebrities can go through money so fast.

  2. nicca says:

    I’d like to know more about the ‘queen of potheads’. What it must be like living with that man!!!

  3. brin says:

    He has no inncentive to change, he just wants to make more money for all his vices.

  4. Hautie says:

    So this means that the Goddess will be packing up and leaving?

    If he has no money, then they have no time… correct? :)

    I doubt he is truly broke. He is just waiting on those residual checks to arrive. Living pay check to pay check, for him, must hurt.

    That is unless he has been letting some shady “financial manager” handle his cash. And now the “financial manager” is filthy rich with Charlie’s cash.

    This is what happens when you do not sign all the checks. I will never understand how wealthy TV/Movie actors let anyone have control over where their cash goes.

    IE: Nicolas Cage.

    There is no reason in the world that either Charlie or Nicolas should be broke. Unless they had shady “financial managers”. Or lets just call it what it is… a guy you paid to steal from you.

  5. Quest says:

    Didn’t he get a porn directorial offer or something like that…hey if your broke and then this may be right up your alley Mr. Sheen.

  6. poopie says:

    i realize it’s all relative regarding the more money you make the more you SPEND, but COME ON ! almost 2 mil an episode X (fill in blank)…expensive house, check, expensive cars, check, expensive watch, check, LOADS OF HOOKERS, check, suitcases of blow, check, but i STILL don’t see how you could BLOW thru that much $$$$$$ and say you have ‘no dough’…

  7. Happymom says:

    Jerry O’Connell is fricking hilarious.

  8. Marjalane says:

    Sorry, the only sympathy I can muster up is for his kids who not only have to admit to crazy ass Charlie Sheen DNA, but now he has no money? It is beyond foul and disgusting what he spent ALL that money on. My fear is that he will be pitied by his H’wood pals and be given all kinds of opportunities to have a come back. I don’t want to see him in a comeback- I want him to go away forever.

  9. Crash2GO2 says:

    I think this just goes to show just how much his behavior was drug/drug withdrawal induced. He’s finally coming down off it all and trying to do some damage control.

  10. Pearl says:

    Is he still wearing a wedding ring? Or is that some Warlock jewelry?

  11. MarenGermany says:

    jerry is the shit! lmao.
    watched that twice.
    :) )

  12. Addie says:

    I’m really starting to fell sad and sorry for him, he just seems so..I don’t know lost and a little pathetic.

    At least it seems he may be giving up his theater of crazy and exiting the stage and spotlights. Hopefully.

    He also looks so over it regarding his “goddess” in the last pic.

  13. Kimble says:

    Jerry O’Connell – I love you – that was hilarious!


  14. Faye says:

    If I ever become a stripper, Gnarls Gnarlington will be my stage name.

  15. clorismetchum says:

    eh…i’d still do him.

  16. BW says:

    I don’t see a problem replacing the character Charlie. Just call him Charlie as if he’s always looked like Rob Lowe. It works for James Bond and Dr. Who. It works on Broadway when the understudy steps into a role.

    If I got 2 mil an episode, I’d be set for retirement after one episode. How can he have no dough, unless he’s really talking about bread?

  17. normades says:

    Jerry to play Charlie! That would be Gnarls Gnarlington (omg like I’m gonna start saying this all the time!)

  18. someone says:

    How could he be broke??? He is still getting he would be broke even if he was still in 2 1/2 confusing.

  19. lucy2 says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s broke, he clearly is not someone who makes good decisions. But I couldn’t spend that much money if I tried!

  20. koala says:

    good lord the godesses are ugly.

  21. mln76 says:

    OMG that video was so effing funny.

  22. Nancy says:

    This guy was making 2 mil an EPISODE that’s more than anybody will see in a lifetime. I know nobody that’s gonna feel sorry for him for squandering all that money on hookers and blow a bunch of houses and cars. If he needs money so bad he should sell his houses or cars and get rid of all those sycophants around him.

  23. Poopie says:

    tv viewers DON’T CARE about a replacement. remember the ‘two darrens’ on Bewitched and the ‘two beckys’ on Roseanne? i think Jerry O’Connell would be really WINNING DUH in the role !

  24. Judy says:

    Broke? GIMME A BREAK. Just a few weeks ago, he was talking about buying multi-million dollar homes in his compound for his two ex-wives. B.S.

  25. Jo says:

    Gotta love that last pic of the *hack*#@hack** goddess (oh, barf) with the ears. Anyone remember the 2&1/2 show all about old hags have big ears? Well, this ho makes Dumbo’s ears look tiny!

  26. Hmmm says:

    When he declares bankruptcy, then I’ll believe he’s broke. He doesn’t want to face the fact that he got fired. And the whole world knows it. Instead, he obsesses about money. Lots and lots of money. My heart goes out to the homeless, not him.

  27. Judy says:

    Jerry O’Connell gives me the creeps just in general…didn’t find this remotely funny.

  28. filthycute says:

    Dear God, how does a man who makes 2 million dollars A WEEK go broke???

    I make less than peanuts in the grand scheme of wealth and still manage to support my single self.

  29. filthycute says:

    @Judy, I thought Jerry was funny with the Cruise spoof he did, but this one struck me as creepy, too.

    He seems coked up, or something. He looks gaunt and haggard.

  30. aenflex says:

    broke atfer making millions per episode. world-time douchebaggery.

  31. theoriginalsisterkitty says:

    “What a nerve,” Adriana RHOM.

  32. The Bobster says:

    Replacements are seamlessly done all the time in soap operas. “The role of Charlie Harper is being played by…”

  33. MiaPiaZia says:

    Jerry is hilarious + he has beautiful teeth– he’s way ahead of Charlie in the winning thing.

  34. ElizabethM says:

    With regards to the character, they should kill off Charlie and devote the entire episode to Alan (and the rest of the characters) having to deal with the enormous amount of women who show up and the various (and definitely comical) dramas that occur.

    Jerry’s character could show up as a long lost slacker cousin who stays at the house during the funeral and then never leaves.

    And hilarity ensues…. :)

  35. lucy2 says:

    LOL ElizabethM, good idea. Maybe his character could die by his car going over the edge of a cliff. Twice. Just like in real life!

    The Rob Lowe situation has been denied by the Parks & Rec producer. Rob is under contract with them, hasn’t been offered anything else, and isn’t going anywhere.

  36. Ron says:

    Charlie’s real base income before taxes works out to around 760,000 a week 52 weeks per year. IF he’s broke, he’s an even bigger idiot than I once thought. If you drop the 7 from that figure, that is what most families live on in a year.

  37. cpascal says:

    About a week ago there was an article about Charlie Sheen buying a mansion worth $7.5 million. Even with a drug habit to support, it’s still amazing to think how anybody could get through all that money.

  38. jarren says:

    How i love watching hollywood turned inside out!

  39. jarren says:

    Warlock, meet Lovelock. I win.

  40. maxtba says:

    If he is bipolar, this may be the downward swing starting to happen.

    As for the ‘queen of potheads’ as nicca coined, I am sure she as well as Bree have a bunch of oppotunists ringing their cells constantly for book deals and reality TV. Who knows? Celebrity Rehab anyone?

  41. mia says:

    There is a small glimmer of hope and its if there is some woman out there who is willing to kick Charlie’s butt into shape.
    Those teenage chicas Charlie lives with are useless even as babysitters.
    where is Charlie’s mother who needs to go kick his worthlessness back into a human being??

  42. eternalcanadian says:

    Again, where the eff are Charlie’s parents? They’re still alive, aren’t they? No matter how old you are or how much money you make, when mama and papa tell you to smarten up you smarten up. I really am surprised his parents aren’t camped outside Charlie’s front door. Or maybe they already did an intervention where they told Charlie if he doesn’t stop they’re out and that’s it. Most curious what Charlie is doing now, playing nice and all, but he still looks awful and the words he said are out there. Can’t take them back. He’s done for in some way.

  43. Crash2GO2 says:

    @filthycute: He makes 2 million an episode, not a week. I think there are 20? episodes a year? Still.

  44. audrey says:

    I’m not mental health expert, but…doesn’t this seem like the depressive phase of bipolar disorder (his manic phase being EVERYTHING we’ve read lately)? Or coming off of drugs. Either way, watching such a steep decline is depressing, even if he’s a wife-beating, spoiled manchild.

  45. Athena says:

    Jerry’s Tom Cruise was hysterical. I love how they keep bringing him back for these videos.
    Didn’t Martin Sheen do a video with Charlie on FunnyorDie?

  46. MrsOdie2 says:

    Charlie doesn’t know how they’d transition the show with a new actor? Maybe he can look through the crack haze of his memory and remember a little show called “Spin City.” He wasn’t the original male lead, if I remember correctly.

  47. Jag says:

    Jerry O’Connell is great. lol

    As for Mr. Blowhard himself, he should get a clue. I play the lottery every week just hoping to win a portion of what he made an episode, and if I were to win millions, I wouldn’t spend it all like it were nothing; life certainly is strange.

  48. Hakura says:

    Charlie just wants Rob Lowe to take his place because he knows Rob won’t be able to pull off the sort of role CS played… The ‘Bad boy’ personality just isn’t his style. I think it’s an ego thing (for CS)… If Rob doesn’t fit the same sort of role, Charlie won’t really be ‘replaced‘. I’d definitely cast my vote for Stamos. Don’t know much about him post-Full House, but he’s still pretty. *_* He could definitely take a ‘bad boy’ role & play it well… Again, likely why Charlie wants Rob instead.

    “Sheen half-admitted the rumors that he’s broke (he said “I have no dough“), so that could be the motivation right there.” ———–

    Yeah, I think I recall it being mentioned that most of his remaining finances are tied up in property & investments (or in the language of us terrestrials, ‘hookers & blow’), leaving him without a direct source of spending money, right now. Thus he may has well be ‘broke’ for the moment.