Scarlett Johansson’s dong haze subsides, Sean Penn “acts like her father”


Finally! The Enquirer has an interesting story about Scarlett Johansson’s dong haze slowly lifting – according to their sources, Sean Penn and ScarJo aren’t quite as loved-up and happy as every other report would indicate. While Sean is totally into Scar – to the point of overbearing obsession – Scarlett is (allegedly) starting to feel cramped. Like, Sean is acting like Scarlett’s father and Scar is all “Um, dude, I don’t need another father, just shut up and spank me.” I kind of hope this one is true:

The romance between Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson is already getting rocky, according to insiders. Sean has been acting like a control freak on the set of Scarlett’s latest movie, We Bought a Zoo, insiders say, and Scarlett is getting fed up.

“Sean’s been coming to the set daily and watching Scar’s every move,” an insider divulged. “He scowls at any guy who talks to Scar or even looks at her unless it’s work-related, and he demands that people bend over backwards to accommodate her. If Scar’s hungry, Sean orders a set assistant to get exactly what she wants from a local restaurant. If he notices a smudge on her skin or a problem with her wardrobe, he orders the makeup and costume people to fix it. It’s bizarre that he’s gotten involved in such tiny details.”

Sean and Scarlett’s relationship is already showing signs of strain. According to the source, “Sean and Scar argue over everything from where to sit to what kind of drinks to order. They argued over wine versus champagne, and Scarlett rolled her eyes through the entire meal.”

An insider predicts: “Scarlett is a free spirit and she was attracted to Sean for his bad boy reputation. She thought he’s a be a fun rebound after her failed marriage, and she respects him as an actor and activist. But she wants superstar Sean, not someone who acts like her dad.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

Does this sound like Sean? Well… I don’t know. I think Sean comes across as the kind of man who would become “obsessed” with the woman he was seeing, to the point of being over-bearing and creepy. But I also don’t think that phase would last very long. Sean gets bored easily, at least that’s my impression. So while today he can’t bear to be without Scar’s biscuits and he’ll do anything to make her happy, a month from now he’ll be boning some C-list blonde and obsessing over her.





Photos courtesy of WENN.

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46 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson’s dong haze subsides, Sean Penn “acts like her father””

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  1. mln76 says:

    I think it’s believable… I have a feeling that’s how he kept Robin Wright under his thumb for all those years. Luckily Scarlett is a free spirit I am keeping my fingers crossed that she escapes.

  2. Phillylady says:

    Yeah, I am over these two. I know many didnot like her gold dress and upswept hair, but I happen to just love it.
    Sean Penn is old now, I can buy that he would be obsessing over his young fling. you know who would make a good match for the lovely Scarlett right now? How about Bradley Cooper. Hot.

  3. Quest says:

    Who’s your daddy now? Huh. Really funny story coming from who? The Enquirer

  4. Marjalane says:

    Sounds like a bunch of unprovable, blahdeblah that they made up to have a story about them, cuz you know how hot and sexy it is to think about Sean Penn banging a bombshell starlet! Now can someone please get me a barfbag?

  5. brin says:

    Lover, father…either way he’s a loser.

  6. Rita says:

    To me this all sounds so “Hollywood by the book”.

    Sinking B-list starlet’s relationship fails and grabs first non-threatening/mentoring dong that floats by.

    Horny/Mentoring dong takes easy piece under his wing to comfort, advise and bone the hell out of.

    Starlet’s thirst to walk on the kinky wild side has been satisfied.

    Mentoring dong and starlet settle back with a smoke and some coke to ask, “That was fun, but what was that about?”

    Answer: Que sera, sera.

  7. NancyMan says:

    Thank God!!!!!!!! He looks like soiled underwear.

  8. Isa says:

    Sorry, I think both of them are gross.

  9. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    At least its not a story about them bonin.. that makes me nauseous.

  10. Jenna says:

    @Rita “Sinking B-list starlet’s relationship fails and grabs first non-threatening/mentoring dong that floats by”

    Sean Penn is the complete opposite of non-threatening. This is the guy that tied Madonna to a chair and beat her.

  11. lola says:

    ok first off. Scar? are they really expecting me to believe they call this girl Scar.

    Second, my best friend works for him in Haiti, where he has bigger priorities on his mind then the status of Scar’s biscuits and makeup blend.

    WTF how stupid is this story, honestly? 25,000 refugees to feed v. a wrinkle in her costume. For a movie.

    Whitey, please.

  12. citysuede says:

    i love the blush dress and the upswept hair with the diamond barrette…she is just beautiful.
    to scarlet – ok, he was fun for a few minutes…now, kick him to the curb and move on. you can have anyone you want!

  13. Nancy says:

    This story right now sounds like a bunch of made up BS. Do I think he can be like that with women? Yes! but do I think he’s acting like this right now in the beginning of their “relationship”? No! I think if their relationship lasts a while longer than his true colors will come out because he is a very controlling and obsessive person just ask his ex wives.

  14. Rita says:


    By non-threatening I mean that Scarjo feels she can throw his sorry old ass to the curb whenever she wants and won’t have to look over her shoulder for a love sick stalker. Emotionally non-threatening.

  15. Catherine says:

    I just don’t understand the appeal of that man in the first place.

  16. Miss Marie says:

    Lola, do you really believe that Sean “cares” about Haiti? It was all a scam for his profile to be elevated. When was the last time he wasn’t surfing in Malibu, or visiting Europe and actually was in Haiti. Wake up girl. You drank the Koolaid!

  17. Roxy75 says:

    Oh Pulease…what a bunch of hogwash. Who is making up these stories of them even being together. It’s’s like people will believe anything and now this story! Hey everyone, I got credible info that Santa Claus is boning Jennifer Aniston!

  18. question says:

    What exactly are biscuits?

  19. Flounder says:

    This whole romance is so off. Then again, she did just get a divorce, so maybe she’s experimenting…let’s hope!

  20. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Fluffy delicious lady parts = biscuits.

  21. MB says:

    So Sean Penn is behaving like a douche and Scarlett is done with yet another man? What a shocker.

  22. WYIJM says:

    Can’t we stop with the ‘biscuits’ already? I’m getting a bit tired of reading that in every post.

  23. lisas says:

    What a shit for brains. If you don’t want an overbearing dude who acts like your dad, DON’T DATE WELL-KNOWN ABUSIVE CONTROLLING ASSHOLES OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER.

    Scarlett is an idiot. Penn is scum. Hate everything about this gossip.

  24. beth says:

    growing up is so much more fun. ask jon hamm.

  25. Micaela says:

    Lisas, I agree that Scarjo is an IDIOT! She deserves whatever he dishes out because she is soooo stupid. By the time Sean gets done with her, she will think RR was a sweet angel and a hottie.

    I still think that one day she will regret leaving Reynolds, (my opinion only).

  26. gobo says:

    The dude held Madonna captive, beat her and on another occasion attacked her with a baseball bat. And he clearly still has probems controlling his now infamous temper. Get the fuck out of there Scarlett.

  27. Mary says:

    He’ll beat the crap out of her causing a major Hollywood scandal.

  28. bluhare says:

    To the person wanting us to stop using the term, “biscuits”, this site isn’t just for you and it’s a Celebitchy staple. Maybe you could start hanging at sites that call it a hoo ha.


  29. LadyBert62 says:

    I think the real Sean Penn is making an appearance, inch by inch, and that Scarlett should run for her life!

  30. MaudeLebowski says:

    She actually lets people call her Scar? That’s attractive.

  31. Jojo says:

    @Nancyman: soiled underwear, couldn’t have put it better if I tried.

  32. Fiona says:

    The girl is nuts!With so many young bachelors in town, she hooks up with this loser, wife abuser?Doesn´t she have anyone close to her to put some sense in her bubble head?

  33. Stacia says:

    Man this is really sick. That she would hook up with an old used up dude like that is beyond me.

  34. Danny says:

    OK, she’s pretty and all but is it possible there are a couple different photos of her. Getting real bored with the “hand on the hip and glance over the left shoulder” look.

    Kaiser, her best assets are not her jawline or her back.

  35. Jayna says:

    He’s very controlling. Just ask Madonna.

  36. Milo Farnsworth says:

    She goes out with an older man and then criticizes him for acting like her dad. How clueless is that?

  37. Trashaddict says:

    Lola, what makes you think a person is either all good or all bad? He could very well be very kind and well-intentioned with regard to the situation in Haiti and a complete asshole with whatever woman he’s dating. Seems like he has at least another decade to go on the analyst’s couch.

  38. Chris says:

    @Farnsworth: I’m with ya on that point.

  39. Sumodo1 says:

    Acting tips. That’s all she should get from that asshole. Hope he didn’t give her The Herp.

  40. Maritza says:

    The guy is a control freak. She won’t stand for it, I say this relationship will be over very soon.

  41. The Truth Fairy says:

    Nah, if she were having doubts she would have never taken him as her guest to Reese’s wedding.

  42. max350 says:

    I think,like,Penn is a good mentor for scarjo,and that as an older male figure he gives her what she needs right now,partly on the rebound and partly for her emotional well being.I think they’ll,like,eventually sail in different directions as they both would agree that’s the end game when they’re ready.