Scarlett Johansson fancies herself an intellectual, thus Sean Penn

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I kind of love that Scarlett Johansson has found herself, post-divorce, the center of an extremely tabloid-friendly affair. Her relationship with Sean Penn is at most two months old, but it’s already been analyzed to the hilt by all of the weeklies. I’ve said it before – I don’t think Scarlett is the kind of girl to get all caught up in a man, and I don’t think that she’s currently a one-man kind of woman, especially given her recent split from Ryan Reynolds. But the tabloids are worrying and fretting over Scarlett’s dong choices like Every Dong Is Forever. Can’t a girl just get laid?

Anyway, last we heard in Tabloidville, Scarlett’s dong haze was slowly lifting as she was continuously being grossed out by reminders of how old Sean is. Scarlett is only a few years older than Sean’s daughter – and according to the Enquirer, Sean has been fathering ScarJo a bit too. The latest story comes via In Touch, and they claim that ScarJo is still fully dong hazed, because she fancies herself an intellectual and she thinks Sean is a genius.

Scarlett Johansson is known as one of the most mature, self-assured and desirable young actresses in Hollywood. But since she started dating 50-year-old actor Sean Penn, friends say she’s turned into a bundle of insecurity, infatuated with the one man she just might not be able to pin down.

“Everyone knows Sean never gets serious,” an insider says. But Scarlett fancies herself an intellectual and likes to associate with older, wiser men like Woody Allen, and she “is head over heels for Sean. He flies into town to take her out to dinner, and it’s all she talks about for the next month.”

Now she’s so obsessed with Penn, she’s already talking about getting engaged – even though she and Ryan filed for divorce in December.

“Scarlett says she is unafraid of marriage and unafraid of what people will say,” a friend reports.

“We’re trying to keep her grounded,” the friend says. “But she thinks he’s a genius.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Don’t get me wrong, I do think Sean is a smart man, but I also think he’s… crazy and kind of gross, sanctimonious, pretentious and annoying. The idea that Scarlett is so desperate for her intelligence to be validated… well, I can see that. But if ScarJo really does “fancy” herself an intellectual and she thinks that Sean wouldn’t be boning her if he didn’t think she was smart, then I have some bad news for her. Sean loves your body. He loves your youth. He loves how pretty you are, and yes, even geniuses can be petty, superficial bastards. That’s your intellectual lesson for the day.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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43 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson fancies herself an intellectual, thus Sean Penn”

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  1. Bailey says:

    I nearly swallowed my tongue with my lunch when I read the headline!

  2. Marjalane says:

    I read a “piece” that Scarjo did for Huffpo a few years back, and let’s just say that her writing is only eclipsed by her singing. It would be wrong to say that pretty woman should just shut up and appreciate being pretty…except for Scarjo; Totally applies to her. I can just see her trying to arrange her features to look intellectual and interested while old man Penn is rambling on.

  3. Quest says:

    It’s a good thing she is not hard on the eyes.

  4. anoneemouse says:

    In the first pic, she looks slightly like an alien….

  5. searching4grace says:

    Intellectual is never a word that comes to mind when she’s in the same sentence. I’m also completely grossed out by the fact that not only is he nasty…but I still think his head is shaped like Megamind. Seriously.

  6. Ashley Temple says:

    I would pay good money to see Woody Allen, ScarJo, and Sean Penn get trashed together. The epic delusions, and creepy pick-up lines (on Woody and Penn’s part) would be PRICELESS.

  7. LittleMissSunshine says:

    Lol, searching4grace!

  8. Laura says:

    Yuck. That is all I have to say about this.

  9. Cherry Rose says:

    I just don’t like Scarlett. I think she’s dumb and not a very good actress. And the fact she so easily got under Sean Penn’s spell just proves how dumb she is.

  10. MrsOdie2 says:

    Is it really so hard to find another chain smoker in Hollywood? She has to pick a 50 year-old guy?

  11. Heatheradair says:

    Aw, it’s her first dose of the student-professor stereotype where she actually thinks the prof will want to settle down with her……how sweet, and naive, and decidedly UN-intellectual of her.

  12. Rita says:

    I love the obvious contradictions these dickmatized fluffers exhibit.

    “He’s boning me for my I.Q.”….89.

  13. Lady Jane says:

    Kaiser, you are a poet:

    Sean loves your body.
    He loves your youth.
    He loves how pretty you are.
    And yes, even geniuses can be
    petty,
    superficial
    bastards.

    (love it)

  14. Mercy says:

    She looks downright stupid with her mouth open like that in the first photo. It is so obviously intentional … she’s trying to give that “sexy” mouth opened look.

  15. TXCinderella says:

    Pft! She must have drank the tiger blood kool-aid like the rest of these celebs who think they have such high IQ’s and their thought processes are so deep. My brother always says that people who stand around with their mouth gaped open are usually not too bright, and I agree with him.

  16. gee says:

    where did they both go to school? Not saying non-college grads aren’t smart, just that most college grads don’t even fancy themselves “intellectuals.” i honestly don’t know tho, did they go to college?

  17. Mick says:

    I hate to be so mean, but the girl is really, really stupid. She must be good at just one thing, and even that, the hunk didn’t stay interested in it for very long. I think his career came before his wife.

  18. Kim says:

    The fact that she thinks he is a genius tells you how stupid and unintellectual she is. Maybe in Hollyweird he is considered smart? Nah not even in Hollywood is he smart.

    Does she have daddy issues? First Woody Allen & now Sean Penn? At least Ryan was closer to her age.

  19. Ron says:

    A friend of mine who works in a casting office here is LA has horror stories about what an arrogant bitch she is. The funniest part is, with her overwhelming intelligence, she mispronounced the word “subtle” in an audition.

  20. Mick says:

    To go from Ryan to Sean Penn shows how stupid she really is.

    Even, if the old man is terrific in bed, he looks dirty and unkept. How can she be that desperate?

    To say that she is intellectual is the joke of the century.

  21. Bored says:

    I watched the trailer for his next movie and he has that exact same far off in lala land stare in that picture. What a great actor. Not!

  22. Sumodo1 says:

    Sean Penn is a violent lout.

  23. LolaBella says:

    She looks like a blow-up sex doll in that first pic.

    She’s attractive, but whenever I see her I think ‘vapid’.

  24. June says:

    This has been obvious to me for some time. Her album, her quotes, and the way she acts when in the presence of other celebrities, is just….gross.

  25. Chris says:

    God damn celebrities, always wanting more.

  26. Hmmm says:

    She’s not. And he’s not.

  27. Juu says:

    @Ron

    Give us the details! I love insiders stories.

  28. Az says:

    This girl has always fancied herself an intellectual. Go back to interviews circa Lost in Translation. I think her character in Vicky Cristina Barcelona was very close to how she actually is. So, yes, she may fancy herself an intellectual but physically she has midlife crisis down to a T and that is what Sean Penn must see in her. Because even the most pretentiously “intellectual” man in the world leads with his dong and that girl is dong candy personified.

  29. KattyKitty says:

    @gee you obviously haven’t “met” Ashley Judd but I digress.

    I can’t get past the “crazy and kind of gross, sanctimonious, pretentious and annoying” part to even know if he’s smart or not. BTW, Kaiser you forgot “unhygienic” However, as someone said about ScarJo in another blog “ScarJo is a slut and I do love my sluts!” This is totally reminding me about the rumors about her and that other unkempt, (then) pre-maturely aging “genius” Benicio del Toro. I am not sure of the state of BdT’s sanity. Anyone??

    I was actually surprised when she hooked up with Ryan. He looks like he enjoys a shower once in a while, seems like your average, sane, fluffy pretty-boy. He’s not her usual type.

  30. Isa says:

    Oh well, haven’t we all suffered from “dong haze” at one point or another?

    I know I did in my twenties. It just takes one experience like this to understand what dong haze really is and how you get burned by it.
    So we shouldn’t be too hard on her, time will fix it.

  31. JulieM says:

    I can remember reading in Vogue (I think it was anyway) several years ago a feature interview with Scarlett. It was around the time she was shooting The Other Boleyn Girl with Natalie Portman. Now, as we all know, Natalie went to Harvard. Scarlett never went to college, which is fine and dandy, not everyone goes to college. But when the subject of her relationship with Natalie came up, she got very defensive, saying she thought it was a waste of time to go to college just to play tennis. That’s right, women go to college to play tennis. Never thought she was a great actress, no matter how much Woody Allen loves her. But talk about obnoxious. Intellectual Scarlett, not so much.

    BTW: I’m not saying going to college makes you an intellectual. Not even close.

  32. Mick says:

    Scarjo may be more ignorant than intellectual. She has mentioned that she does not know what to do with herself when she is in between movies. That movie making is the only industry she knows. Her mother got her to start acting at 8 yrs. old or so. Some people do not know that they don’t know much.

  33. JenJen says:

    Of course she does, thus the JLO “mouth hanging open because I am so sexy”. Sean thinks he is brilliant too but has turned out to be nothing but trash, they are perfect for each other. So glad Ryan is rid of her.

  34. Elizabeth says:

    @ Lady Jane

    Never thought of it that way but once you (re)arrange – damn, its great poetry!

  35. Henriette says:

    I don’t even find her attractive. Yes: great set of cans but flabby lips and cow eyes and blob nose and stupid expressions, like the vaccuous one in the first photo. Sean Penn is a pretentious drunk. They’re perfect for each other.

  36. Sue says:

    I call BS on this story because it came from a nameless “friend” not her or a friend that will give a name she looks like she having a good time and I can’t see how anyone can fault her on that.

  37. Alessya says:

    Kaiser, CB I must admit that I had a dream about you two. yes, it’s cheesy but here’s what happened. Btw it involved ScarecrowJo and Big Papa Bear. In my dream, ScarecrowJo was very upset reading all your articles about her and Big Papa Bear and guess what? She dumped him on Letterman Show :) )That a very “intellectual” move. I would never expect such a mighty thing from her.

    Anyway, much appreciated your sit. Congrats and keep up the good work!

  38. HRH says:

    She’s so… blobby and annoying. I totally agree with the above posters that say falling for Sean Penn just proves how horribly stupid she is. He’s a pretentious philanderer and is just GROSS.

  39. Diane says:

    Scar, honey, how’s about you start with ‘intelligent,’ and maybe work your way up to ‘intellectual.’ Oh, and good luck with that. The girl personifies ‘vacuous blonde.’ I’d have to guess she’s got big career aspirations tied up in her attraction to Penn, who must think his Oscars added points to his IQ. He’s an idiot and so is she. A match made in heaven.

  40. 6 says:

    Henriette:”I don’t even find her attractive. Yes: great set of cans”

    I think this is so true. I have never thought she was really that attractive. If you saw her in that movie with Steve Buschemi, you would know what she really looks like. Anyway, I think people equate a huge rack to beauty but I don’t think that is the case.

  41. Annie says:

    Scarlett is an opportunist. I don’t see this as a romance. Only about what she can get from being seen with Sean. The girl plays the hollywood game, well.

  42. Chubby says:

    Appreciation for this inofrmtiaon is over 9000-thank you!