Scarlett Johansson is not pregnant, by the way

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Can I just explain one of my peeves? I hate when y’all go on one of my posts and start yelling at me because I haven’t written about whatever story you want me to write about. First of all, if you’re leaving a comment, please let it be about the subject at hand. Second of all, if I haven’t written something YET, I might have a good reason, like I’m getting to it eventually, or we don’t have the photos needed for the story, or I simply don’t care. Third, if you have story recommendations, you can email me at kaiser@celebitchy.com, or send a tweet to me at KaiseratCB.

So, even though I put these new photos of Scarlett Johansson (go to The Superficial to see them) in yesterday’s links, everybody was yelling at CB and me this morning, asking us why we haven’t covered THE EARTH-SHATTERING NEWS that ScarJo went for a jog with Sean Penn and Owen Wilson, and Scar looked kind of pregnant while doing so. CB and I talked about it and since we don’t have access to the photos, and because we thought it was more likely that ScarJo simply had a little chunk rather than SHE’S KNOCKED UP!!! we just decided to skip it. But here I am writing about it anyway. Because ScarJo’s poor rep had to deny it, because apparently no one thought to ask themselves, “Hey, Scar and Sean have been together less than two months, if she’s “pregnant” why is she “showing”? Maybe she’s just gained a little weight and there’s nothing to freak out about?”

Another day, another false baby alarm. Scarlett Johansson went jogging with beau Sean Penn near his Malibu, Calif. home on Sunday. And while fans have grown used to seeing the hot new couple (who’ve slowly gone public with their romance) out and about together, there was something new about Johansson, 26: a baby bump?!

Nuh-uh, her rep tells UsMagazine.com.

“Scarlett is not pregnant,” the rep says in a statement.

What about that supposed “bump” that appears in the photos?

“She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading,” the rep explains.

“She’s been training for The Avengers for over four months and is in the best shape of her life.”

Meanwhile, Johansson and Penn, 50, are stronger than ever. The Iron Man 2 actress took Penn as her date to Reese Witherspoon’s recent nuptials — and they made out at a local bar afterwards.

And Penn has the support of at least one ex. “They’re great together!” Sports Illustrated model Jessica White, who dated Penn in 2009 and 2010, said recently. “Sean is a really lovely man…[he] needs a good woman in his life.”

[From Us Weekly]

Um, yeah. ScarJo is not in the best shape of her life. The girl gained a little weight, and it’s fine and she still has a great body, but please don’t blatantly lie to me and tell me she’s in amazing shape.

Also – I’ll buy that Scar is in a Penn dong haze, but I won’t buy that she would A) Get knocked up by Sean or B) If she did get knocked up, that she would keep the baby.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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53 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson is not pregnant, by the way”

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  1. Tess says:

    What about Scar Jo & Del Toro at the Oscars… is that true?

  2. fancyamazon says:

    She doesn’t seem the type to just “get pregnant” anyway. I think she knows her way around, and good on her!

  3. Becca B says:

    From time to time I do feel sorry for celebrities. It´s like you can´t even gain friggin 6-8 pounds without the whole world noticing and going ZOMG PREGNANT!!!
    Or having a little bit of *gasp* cellulite on your thighs.
    It’s just too much sometimes.

  4. KattyKat says:

    “Also – I’ll buy that Scar is in a Penn dong haze, but I won’t buy that she would A) Get knocked up by Sean or B) If she did get knocked up, that she would keep the baby.”

    After Portman got knocked up by the Millipede, I will believe any of these women are stupid enough to get knocked up. Portman admits it was a “surprise” why? Unsave sex = baby.

    Portman is a lot more intelligent than ScarJo. At least she’s not in a viagra haze caused by a man who I am truly shocked is only 50. Dude looks 60 at least. *shudder*

  5. Jenny says:

    In Hollywood, there are three sizes for women. “Too fat, too skinny and pregnant”. Why can’t people stop over anaylyzing every female body while leaving some “manorexics”, tubby fellas and the like alone. People come in all shapes and sizes, some with lumps, bumps and curves, and some are just naturally slim, all of which is quite normal by the way.

  6. lrm says:

    well, i thought you did cover this story yesterday? ie, you put a link to it…and I, for the FIRST time EVER in my commenting on this site, said someone [scarjo in this case] looked pregnant.
    guess i picked the wrong story to bring that topic up.
    but i thought she looked it.
    regardless of ‘how long’ they officially say someone has been dating so and so, she could have been pregnant.

    could be someone else’s kid,f or all i know. but apparently she is not pregnant.

    Oh, and somse women show very early.

    i guess she just had a really strong back arch going on in those jogging photos.

    meh. i think readers are allowed to complain and moan. it’s an open blog. as long as it does not violate rules established. i get creeped out when ppl post ‘oh kaiser and cb you are so great and wonderful, just love you guys’ like we are a family. that is weird. it’s just an entertainment blog, and i dont think conformity is the order of the day. don’t list any contact info if you dont want feedback or comments directly to you, would be my suggestion.

    i was not one who emailed you to cover it though. that smells of ‘get a life’, to me. no offense to anyone, if you are just bored at work and want something interested to read.

  7. KattyKat says:

    As for the pictures (sorry, I was in a Penn is old and gross haze).

    That is sooo not pregnant. Since when does a pregnant woman have cellulite on her stomach? Pregnancy also does not cause cellulite on ones legs (front and back). Girl looks BAD.

    I’m not saying I look any better but I’m 15 years older, can’t afford a trainer and I am not playing a cellulite-less, extremely fit, super heroine in the near future.

    Actually, that is the point, she has the body of the average 40 year old woman in that photo series.

    ETA: I’ve started a weightloss regimen and last week I was joking that I see improvement, I’ve gone from fat to “maybe she’s pregnant?”.

  8. kai says:

    are those pictures real? either way, I’m more interested in her shoes. are those good for running?

  9. PrettyLights says:

    Admittedly those photos are not the most flattering, girl gained some weight but on a short frame that’s very noticeable. I had a friend who was 5’1″ and if she even gained 5 pounds you could really tell, especially in her stomach and face. I doubt she’s preggers.

  10. normades says:

    I love that you guys are so sensitive to us posters! lol

  11. Jezi says:

    Not the most flattering pics or outfit but hey, whatever, she’s still human and has flaws like us all. Those shoes are hideous though.

  12. TQB says:

    Yah, I thought the demand for coverage was lame. Saw the pics yesterday and whatever – didn’t we all originally love this girl because she wasn’t a stick?

    And there you go, now i feel sorry for Scarlett. Damn.

    Edit: stop with the ugly shoes thing – Vibrams are damn comfortable.

  13. Leek says:

    “She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading,” Rep.

    That is someone good at their job, i.e., lying. A lay person would have said, “She was outside running because she put on some weight and it’s simply the placement of her gunt that’s misleading.”

  14. Sigh. says:

    Eh. Who says she didn’t always have a belly? I just assumed she decided to run without a “body shaper” on after eating too much whip cream offa his…**dry heave**

    But still no, that is NOT the way her shirt is laying. You can CLEARLY see her pants are cutting into her paunch and all of the way around her midsection. That may have worked for Nicole, but for ScarJo, no honey…no.

  15. Melanie says:

    Becca B: It is their job to look hot! Don’t tell me they are constantly filming or learning lines. I may be tainted by the fact that I don’t like her, but a big jiggling belly looks bad on a “sex symbol” I am not talking regular people either, I am talking about the so called beautiful people.

  16. esblondie says:

    Come on, people. It’s called “Happy Fat”. It’s the weight you gain when you’re in a new relationship, and happy, and eating all the time. That’s what happens to me, anyway…

  17. serena says:

    ugh.. well.. that’s a fat-bump. totally.

  18. melinda says:

    I also don’t see her as the type that would just turn up pregnant. Say what you will about her but she doesn’t seem like the type of gal that has “relationship souvenier babies”.

  19. Quest says:

    Should I really care at this point if she got knocked up by now…ummm, no. Maybe she should have tried a little Del Torro a la mode instead

  20. Mshuffleupagus says:

    Omg I’m so happy Scar Jo is pudgetastic and cellulite-y! AND she’s got a flat ass? *squeal!*

    My boyfriend is thinking about getting those toe sneaker things. Some of his friends have them. The shoes are…..weird. Every person I see wearing them makes me feel like they’ve been having to hide some bare foot fantasy that they finally get to unleash to the world. And then they always have to give you the same talk about how its more natural because “the cavemen ran this way”. Because when I look towards reasonable life choices, I look to cavemen.

  21. Bodhi says:

    I think its just ill fitting work out clothes.

    I know people who SWEAR by those funny toe shoes.

  22. gloaming says:

    I think she’s always had a natural pot belly.

    There are more pics here in the Daily Mail.
    The last one shows where Sean & Owen ditched her.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1376056/Scarlett-Johansson-hits-pavement-new-love-Sean-Penn–Owen-Wilson.html

  23. Angelina says:

    Its not true about Scar and Del Toro at the Oscars

    Mind you they are both promiscious enough to have done it

  24. Betsy says:

    People are going to rag on ScarJo’s shoes but nobody is going to take Owen to task for wearing black socks? From the waist down he looks like a grandpa.

  25. Patricia says:

    I am quite chunk myself these days and was greatly relieved to see someone as beautiful and famous as Scarlett going through the same.

    I am sure celebrities do not enjoy the scrutiny of their flaws but it does humanize them and make us commoners feel a little better sometimes.

    I like her more than ever now. Silly I know but that’s the truth.

  26. Lenore says:

    Jesus, I hope I never get famous. By the standards laid down for people like Scarlett Johansson and Nicole Ritchie and Angelina Jolie, I’ve been pregnant since I was eight years old. My teeny hunk of belly fat must be in something like its eightieth trimester by now.

  27. whatyousay?! says:

    “scarjo” has always been on the “curvy” side. I’m surprised that all of us havent yet realized that stars do crazy diets right before award shows to look their skinniest and immediately bloat back up after.

  28. Mick says:

    I agree with Gloaming, Scarjo has always had a natural pot belly. I guess she was just having a “bad body” day. As for her reps, they have lied before. As for being Sean’s baby, (if she were pregnant)it could have been anybody’s, Scarjo gets around.
    As for upsetting Kaiser, there were a lot of other websites who were caring the story since early yesterday afternoon.

    I, also agree with Melanie, Scarjo is a beautiful sex symbol. She should dress accordingly. It is expected of her.

  29. mia girl says:

    @ Betsy
    I totally agree. Everyone is busy looking at ScarJo’s junk… both Owen (black socks, really?!) and Penn look gross. She looks like she’s running with her dad and dorky brother.

    You know, on the one hand, many of us complain that Hollywood/fashion/magazines constantly give us manufactured, unattainable images of women as stick figures, and yet, when a successful woman shows us that, she might actually look like a real woman (one of us) who has cellulite or got a pot belly from drinking too much beer lately, many of us freak out, point-fingers and call her names.

    I think she looks fine, has a rockin body and maybe played a bit too much lately so she’s trying to work it off.

    OK off soapbox…

  30. Yaya says:

    So what she’s going out with Sean only for two months? Maybe it’s Benicio’s work? First he had SJ in an elevator, then he took KS in a restaurant toilet, both impregnated on the same day… Proud daddy! Just kidding :)

  31. danielle352 says:

    When ScarJo does get pregnant, her boobs are going to be HUUGGGGE

    but yah, not now, she’s in the “dong haze” apparently, which I just don’t get, ryan to sean- how?

  32. Louise says:

    I’m actually buying the shirt excuse a little. The pictures look like she gained 20+lbs. Scarlett was just photographed a week or so ago and she didn’t look heavy at all. I don’t know if someone could gain that much weight in just a week. I think she gained a few pounds since her legs look a little thick.

  33. peacelovekitty says:

    Ha! That’s funny – when I saw that comment this morning under the Zack G. post:

    ** DON’T tell me you’re not gonna have a post on Scarlett Johansson’s fuller body **

    I was thinking WTH?? Who is this person to dictate what is being written about, write your own damn blog if you want to dictate!! I would be pissed too!!

  34. Kaiser says:

    Thanks, peacelovekitty! We actually had several of those comments, like people were IRATE that we weren’t going to cover ScarJo’s minor weight gain.

  35. Ruffian9 says:

    Damn peeps…she looks fine. As a few have posted, I thought we LIKED celebs who didn’t fit the stick figure Hollywood ideal. You just can’t win.

  36. HotPockets says:

    Scarlett has an average body, to say that she is in the best shape of her life? That is a far stretch for her rep to claim,so it leads me to believe she really is pregnant or drinking a lot of alcohol during her dong haze with Sean.

    Also, I never even heard about this until y’all covered it. Usually I never click on the Scarlett links because she bores me as an actress and tabloid fixture, but for some reason I clicked on it today. I never would have thought people cared so much about her weight, especially since she has always been curvy and had a bit of a muffin top.

  37. Homer says:

    Some interesting advertisements you have here I see..

    “You might like:

    What Are the Causes of Human Urine Odor?”.

    Jeez am I that obvious? Also yes I am aware you hate comments that aren’t about the subject but I consider this an exception because I don’t give a shit.

  38. Emily says:

    I think it’s just weight gain from being in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Or licking too much whipped cream off Penn. Ugh, now that image is in my head! I think she looks good though, just needs a bigger top!

    @lrm, wow, defensive much? I don’t think it’s out of line for Kaiser to ask people to stop telling her what she needs to cover in an unrelated story. And she put her contact info up there so that people COULD send tips or suggestions. Sorry that emailing seems to be so far beneath you.

  39. Samigirl says:

    @Kai, I’ve got a pair of those. They’re called vibram five fingers and they ROCK! The only thing is, it’s basically like running barefoot. You feel EVERY. SINGLE. THING. when you step. But I LOVE mine. Of course I run on a treadmill. Ran. I don’t run anymore, as I’m with child. Mine cost $90, which is cheaper than my saucony’s. I would suggest finding a store that sells them and see if they will let you try them on and walk around first. I had to get mine custom made though. Good luck :)

  40. searching4grace says:

    LOL @ Melinda: “relationship souvenir babies” That killed me, AND made me think of Kate Hudson, for some reason. *shrugs* I don’t care for ScarJo. I don’t see how her face is the epitome of sex symbol. I also agree with Kaiser. I seriously doubt she’s the kind to keep a baby if she does get pregnant.

  41. Marjalane says:

    Oh how it would make my life if, (due to her extreme dong love for Sean Penn) Scarjo morphed into your basic Peg Bundy and spent the rest of her career following her old man-toy and regurgitating his and Hugo Chavez’s words of wisdom. Somehow I just don’t see this as much of a stretch for her.

    also- how humiliating is it for a bombshell star to have to read about how all the tabs are speculating as to her pregnancy- to the point where her PR person has to clarify?! Time for some sit ups Scarjo!

  42. Trashaddict says:

    I just figured out what that eye-shadow looks like: nicotine stains. Eeewww.

  43. Trashaddict says:

    I just figured out what that eye-shadow reminds me of: bad nicotine stains. Eeewww.

  44. Juu says:

    She always had the body of a rag doll. No surprise there.

  45. Puhleez says:

    Good lord….Having a “untrained” eye for photoshop, even I can tell that these photos have been touched up. Do you honestly believe that she has weird fat lumps all over her legs? Some of the pics she has slim smooth legs, in others she has the thighs of a chunky baby. Just because you see it, doesn’t mean that its legit.

    I think she looks fab, she has a rockin bod that every single woman would die for. We as humans are jealous jerks-

  46. islandwalker says:

    I’d be happy if she could just act in a movie without sounding like she has a mouth full of marbles and could possibly emote. She looks fine. Short women ( like myself) look heavy with even a few few extra pounds. Forget running, take some acting lessons and lose the weight running on your left.

  47. Luci says:

    this girl said that when she was single and living the good life checked herself for stds every 6 months, so she has a very responsible attitude towards sex I think, good for her!! dont think she’ll get pregnant when not wanted

    kaiser, chill, the fact that people “yell” that they want a certain story from you means that they love CB and keep coming back to it for their gossip fix

  48. I laughed so hard at the rep’s statement – like REALLY? she needs to fire her rep, seriously. the statement sounds like a joke.

  49. tracking says:

    @could be a trick–agreed. S/he should simply have said “not pregnant” and left it at that.

    But, good lord, you can see the girl’s ribs–give her a break.

  50. SHump says:

    She doesn’t look pregnant in those pictures, anyway. Pregnancy weight gain on someone of ScarJo’s size does not look anything like that. That looks like someone who has been eating out a lot and put on a few pounds and maybe is experiencing a little bloat? Which I think is kind of normal for someone in the honeymoon stage of a new relationship. It is for me, anyway.

  51. Snarky_Pup says:

    Scarlett is very pretty but at 5’3″, she shows her every pound of her weight. She’s not pregnant because her tummy is lumpy (in the Superficial pics), not hard and round like a preggo tummy. The pics I saw on superficial looked like alcohol and food weight from overindulging with Sean Penn these last few weeks. At least she’s trying to exercise again. I don’t get why she wants to hang out with that crusty old perv. Too gross for me to comprehend. He’s the real dead weight she needs to lose!

  52. MaudeLebowski says:

    My husband loves his toe shoes! He has two pairs.