Us Weekly: Scarlett Johansson has moved in with Sean Penn

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Scarlett Johansson is not pregnant, we now know. According to her rep, she’s in the best shape of her life. “Best shape of her life” = A charming little mini-pot belly that made everyone scream about her phantom Penn pregnancy. But never mind about those pregnancy rumors, we’ve got an even better one (not really): according to Us Weekly, ScarJo has officially moved in with Sean. Ugh.

ScarJo and Sean are playing house! Three months into their unexpected romance, Scarlett Johansson has moved in to the $3.8 million Malibu home of Sean Penn, an insider tells the new Us Weekly, out Wednesday.

Relocating from her temporary digs at a West Hollywood hotel, the recently divorced 26-year-old “has essentially moved in over the last few weeks,” the source says. And now that the actress and Penn, 50, share the same roof after months of furtive sightings at hotspots in Hollywood, Mexico and beyond, “they just stay home” whenever they can.

Among their fave homebody activities? Eating in and hanging out with Penn’s kids with ex-wife Robin Wright, who are mere years younger than Johansson: daughter Dylan, 20, and son Hopper, 17.

Plus, the domestic duo love working out (their recent jog fueled pregnancy rumors that proved false), entertaining pals like Owen Wilson and Javier Bardem and more. (Back in February, Us Weekly was first to break news that Johansson had rebounded from her December divorce from Ryan Reynolds with Penn.)

[From Us Weekly]

First: I don’t know why the tabloids always force-fed us celebrities’ domesticity like we really care if they’re sitting around eating yogurt and watching the Real Housewives. Because you know what? Chances are that for celebrities like Sean and Scar, they’re not doing that. They’re just screwing, all the time, whenever they can. That’s why Sean likes her, and Scarlett thinks he’s a genius, so she just goes along. In between boning like rabbits, they’re probably pretending to read important books. “How is your Heidegger coming, my love?” Sean asks Scarlett. “It’s fine, darling. How is your Foucault?”

Also – Um, so what happened to Haiti? I thought Sean Penn had moved to Haiti and he was running all of these clinics and he had to do it all himself because the UN sucks and NGOs suck and none of the people who volunteer for humanitarian aid CARE as much as Sean? You mean that was just a phase Sean went through, and now he’s going through a “boning a dumb blonde starlet half his age” phase?

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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55 Responses to “Us Weekly: Scarlett Johansson has moved in with Sean Penn”

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  1. brin says:

    Nothing like commitment to a cause (boning).

  2. Isa says:

    Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong

    “Honey, I’m home”

    That’s all I have to say.

  3. Eleonor says:

    I can’t stand her,and her fake cheekbones.

  4. Quest says:

    Equating sexual positions in a smoke filled room with S Penn as being in her (Scarjo) best shape ever does not compute.

    The more I read about Scarjo’s dong-estiny the more I am liking Ryan Reynolds right now.

  5. kai says:

    OMG, in that first picture, I thought she was heavily pregnant at first – the way her dress blends in with the carpet. Hilarious. Does anyone else see it?

  6. Rita says:

    Sean’s 50 year old “pant weasel” must go off more often than a metal detector at a terrorist convention. If he lights up after every boning, he’s smoking two packs a day. Sex and lung cancer…what a way to go.

    Morning @brin!! Missed you here. Nice to see Crash and Jonny’s Girl too.

  7. Sigh. says:

    @ kai

    YES!!!!

    It’s the blending of carpet and dress color AND the curved “line” of the man on our left her that’s creating the optical illusion.

  8. daisy says:

    It was the first thing I noticed.strange.I couldn’t figure it out until you said it was the carpet.

  9. Nanz says:

    Kai, I did the same thing!!!!

  10. Marjalane says:

    Is it shallow to have involuntarily shuddered?

  11. Jenny says:

    That photo is quite an illusion and funny after all the other comments about her being pregnant. Funny really.

  12. David says:

    It’s nice that she moved back home with her dad.

  13. AngelMay says:

    I guess Scarlett’s vag is more appealing than Haiti. How much Viagra is he popping to keep up?

  14. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    For the love of all things CRUSTY!

    WHYYYYY??? WHYYYY must they force us to watch?

  15. whatyousay?! says:

    way to kill a romance! playing house will get old fast

  16. brin says:

    LOL…y’all are so funny!

    *waving, Rita*

  17. mia girl says:

    The thought of waking up to Sean Penn every morning just made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Can you imagine what that man smells like? Cigs, stale beer and residual crap breath from all the BS he loves to spew.

    What is worse is that he is probably treating ScarJo like he is doing her a favor by being with her. Like she’s getting the better end of the deal. UGGGG

  18. moon says:

    I thought she looked VERY pregnant in that picture as well.

    I like Ryan, he’s a B.C. boy. B.C. Rocks, big time.

  19. Justaposter says:

    Oh man.. I just wanna scream

    GIRL YOU IN DANGER! to Scarjo.

    What the hell does Penn have over women.. heck he even tamed Madonna for a bit, and look what he did to Princess Buttercup!

    Spicoli was sooooooo 20+ years ago.. sufer dude only goes so far.

  20. beth says:

    can’t wait to hear what they’ll do next…

  21. Tia C says:

    WOW, most people ditch the ugly old husband and go with a sexy young guy, but she did the opposite! She’s such a rebel.

    Gross.

  22. Nancy says:

    Ugh, Yuck! Moving in with that skank ScarJo is making me like Sean less and less.

  23. Mick says:

    Kaiser, you made your point. He is using her big time, and scarjo thinks it’s because she is sooooo intellectual. I used to be her fan. Like an idiot, I prayed and prayed that she and Ryan reconcile. Little, did I know that he would be so much better off without her. In less than four months, she already moved in with the old man. Scarjo did not deserve Ryan Reynolds. She is one dumb chic! Can you overdose on Viagra?

  24. Danny says:

    That picture of Penn with the coffee cup is great. “I’m so wasted!”

  25. dorothy says:

    Must have had a bad childhood involving her dad….total “father figure” thing going on here.

  26. Mick says:

    Dorothy, I respectfully disagree.
    I think they are just like rabbits. She thinks she is being intellectually challenged and he likes everything about her youth.

    In April 2007, Woody Allen said, “Scarlett does not always make the right choices”. Mr. Allen was concerned about her behavior. He wanted her to be more like Meryl Streep, serious about her acting.

  27. Mshuffleupagus says:

    No woman could be attracted to Sean Penn. No one. This fake attraction and her dead cold eyes are just convincing me that Scar Jo is a sociopath. Or a robot.

  28. Heatherrr says:

    Wow – NEVER wear a dress the same color as the red carpet! Buahahahahahahaaaa

  29. ordinarygirl86 says:

    I don’t believe this at all. Until I see pictures – this story isn’t valid. Just like she was supposedly pregnant when the only thing she was carrying was a food baby….

  30. jill says:

    Kai,

    I thought the EXACT same thing!

  31. jill says:

    And I can’t believe I actually agree with Woody Allen about something…

  32. Anti-icon says:

    This strikes me as…..warlock Sheen, the couple version. (And that ain’t good.)

  33. codebreaker says:

    If I were Sean I wouldn’t be going anywhere either. Holy Cow! Get it while you can Sean. I know Sean will agree with me when I say, these are the good old days. Yummy yummy.

  34. garvels says:

    Scarjo knows the hookup will keep everyone talking about “HER”. This girl is so blah. Sean just irritates me. I don’t even bother buying a movie ticket for one of his movies.

  35. beauty and the beast! LOL Okay well he’s a got a brain. LOL she doesn’t stike me as being ignorant either – so who knows??!!

  36. truetalk says:

    Starlet?no no no. she’s an established A-lister

  37. Mick says:

    Next, she will get engaged, and marry the old dude. That’s the only way she will stay in the media. She craves attention!

    I have often thought that she competes with RR, he will be in the media for a while with his own comic book, the premier of Green Lantern, then filming R.I.P.D. in Boston, premier of Change UP,filming Dead-Pool, movie with Sandra and the list goes on and on.

    Scarjo knows that by being with Penn, they attract a lot of media attention and she wants to be the center of attention.

    I guess the PSA did not get her the attention she was looking for.

  38. bosc says:

    Five bucks says that after she escapes from being tied up, she ditches him.

  39. nina says:

    Scarlett is just overcorrecting and vulnerable right now. She had this hot young husband, and since that didn’t work out, she’s going the other direction and trying out old, tired, cranky pepaw peen. It’ll pass and she’ll be embarrassed once it does. Cause seriously, they’re a walking cliche right now.

  40. Iggles says:

    That picture has me in stitches!!! Unfortunate color to wear! Apparently it’s not a red carpet :D

  41. MJ says:

    I call photoshop on this picture. Just yesterday, the carpet was red!

    http://www.celebitchy.com/150505/scarlett_johansson_is_not_pregnant_by_the_way/

    The guy’s pants in the background have also been retouched. look closely.

  42. Chris says:

    Good on you, Sean, you’re killing them. :)

  43. Camille says:

    Yep Ryan dodged a bullet. Phew.

    ScarHo and Sean Penis together gross me out more than any other celeb couple right now. *shudder*

  44. Disbelieving says:

    So, according to the six (or whatever) degrees of Kevin Bacon sexual philosophy, now that she has schtupped Penn, how many people has ScarJo had sex with other than Robin Wright and Madonna?

  45. harfang says:

    Ewww. Nooo. Khaaaaan. What IS it with the Lolita complexes in Hollywood? It’s not like these ladies have to settle.

  46. trashaddict says:

    The beatings will now begin…..

  47. Kosmos says:

    Not a fan of hers at all! After her split, would make more sense for her to have her own place, see Sean or anyone she wants to see. Obviously they both want to play for a while, create a scandal for all to see. She’s strong willed and so is he, not a good match in the long run. It’ll run its course and then be over. Who cares. She’s self-absorbed anyway.

  48. JenJen says:

    She really does look preggers from that award pic. Note, ScarJo, when a man has a gorgeous ex TRYING to look like a lesbian is a sure sign, you dumbass.

  49. RHONYC says:

    @ kai

    BINGO! you hit it on the head!

    whoever can’t stand her…just keep pulling up this post, squint your eyes and look at this photo.

    this flabby, preggo version of scarjo deflates her high-falootin’ self right the hell down! :lol:

  50. Thea says:

    This girl is stupid. This has to be some kind of career move. Thinking Sean can help her career somehow. She is so bland, like Blake Lively, nothing. Except she has a nice body sorta. I would run as far from Sean Penn as I could. And beg Ryan back.