If Steven Tyler could snort adrenaline and fame, he would

styler

For some reason, Steven Tyler made the cover of People Magazine this week. In an allegedly exclusive and ground-breaking interview, we find out that Steven used to snort everything he could find. How… not shocking. I honestly would have thought that the royal wedding would have taken the cover! I’m shocked that Waity & Wills aren’t on every cover this week (they only took the covers of OK! Magazine and Life & Style!). So, whatever, snort, snort, snort:

Steven Tyler doesn’t need drugs to get high these days. All he needs is to go to work at American Idol.

“If you think going out in front of high-def cameras and millions of people I’m not high on adrenaline, you’re crazy,” the rocker-turned-judge tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story.

“I’m stoned when that curtain drops,” adds Tyler, 63. “I just don’t snort the curtain dropping. I don’t snort J. Lo either, though I do breathe her in.”

Tyler’s nutty, what-will-he-say-next personality has not only catapulted Idol back to must-watch status, it’s also turned him into one of this year’s most lovable stars.

After years of being known for fights with his bandmates and trips to rehab, Tyler is thrilled that he finally gets to show off his warm and compassionate side.

Sober for a year-and-a-half, the Aerosmith frontman – whose memoir, Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?, will be out May 3 – says he is “grateful” that he’s survived several health problems, as well as his hard-partying ways.

“Left up to my own devices,” says the singer, “I probably would have been dead several times over.”

[From People]

Wow, how powerful, how intense, what an amazing tale of redemption. A dude is a hardcore addict for decades, somehow manages to get sober and is instantly awarded cultural mainstream acceptance on American Idol. I hate to get all Jezebel about this, but what if the genders were reversed? The descriptors wouldn’t be “nutty, what-will-he-say-next personality.” They would be “pathetic, depressed, sorrowful, horrible role model” etc.

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Photos courtesy of WENN & CoverAwards.

 

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20 Responses to “If Steven Tyler could snort adrenaline and fame, he would”

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  1. the original bellaluna says:

    So, he’s basically the new Paula, yeah?

    Utter shock *clutches pearls* that People snagged the coveted coverage of the Rimes/Cibrian wedding! *snickersnortguffaw*

  2. arock says:

    he looks like a chewed up piece of gum.

  3. curmudgeon says:

    So Jlo is most beautiful in all of her has been glory, and Steven Tyler is now the cover of People? I smell a contract.

  4. brin says:

    Hi bellaluna! I think you are right, he’s the new Paula.
    Re: Leann wedding pics…wonder how much she paid People to take them lol.

  5. Brittany says:

    I want his scarf collection.

  6. lucy2 says:

    I don’t get the sudden fascination with him. This morning the Today show promoted an “exclusive” interview with him and even had a weird graphic for it, as if he were some important head of state or something. Who cares?

  7. Synamin says:

    So sad to see people hating on the most interesting Idol judge ever.

  8. Mary Jane says:

    I don’t know, Synamin… It just doesn’t seem like ANY of the judges do any judging anymore. They seem to be more like cheerleaders — I don’t think I’ve heard any of them give any type of bad review to any contestant and that makes the entire show a pretty dull experience.

  9. Nanea says:

    Steven got the cover, while Falcor is relegated to the column on the left?

    Oh wow!

    Is there anyone out there who’s still actually buying People?

  10. Mae says:

    I love Steven and I’m glad he’s doing better :)

  11. k says:

    Based on Liv’s interview mentioned here(?) a few days ago, it seems he really is just immature and still trying to get with the program. He’s a great entertainer, loves the attention, and probably very nice, but not reliable or stable. I think it would suck to have him as a parent, actually.

  12. Blondie says:

    For people questioning the recent fascination…he’s got a book coming out. So these “come to Jesus” interviews are really just a book tour.

    At any rate, happy he’s sober.

  13. gg says:

    Looks like somebody got some new choppers! I have new love for him – say what you want, but he is entertaining. AI is lucky to have anybody actually interesting judging.

  14. Alice says:

    I had his poster in my locker in high school, I’m glad to see him sober and doing well!

  15. truthzbetta says:

    His dentures are stupid looking. The rest is pretty rock star.

    But does he have one female breast? I see an A cup but I might be mistaken.

    It could possibly be a small B.

  16. wunderkindt says:

    Tyler is FUG to the Nth degree!

  17. Msmlnp says:

    I once saw him at a Subway restaurant about 3 years ago. He was the tiniest and thinnest man i have ever seen. His height is listed as 5’9″ but he must have been measured on the “Tom Cruise” height chart.

  18. lucy2 says:

    OMG, I just noticed the Leann & Eddie photo – she looks like a cartoon! That’s the photo she chose to release? Good Lord.

  19. Liana says:

    awww, I have a soft spot for Steven Tyler.

  20. klowndogdadycat says:

    Sounds like someone got snubbed by him.I KNOW HIM PRETTY WELL AND CAN SAY HES A GOOD HARTED
    ,SMART GUY, SO WHY THE HATE? THATS ONE THING THIS WORLD HAS ENOUGH OF. GOD BLESS HIS SOUL.