Jessica Simpson got an ugly orange Birkin for her 31st birthday


I think I’ve documented my love of Hermes Birkin bags before – I lamented when Sofia Vergara used her Birkin as her gym bag, and then I kind of got over my love Birkins when Kim Kardashian bought one in practically every color and then began to use them nonstop. And now I have another reason to dislike Birkins: Eric Johnson gave Jessica Simpson a Birkin for her 31st birthday yesterday. Can you believe Farty is 31?!? And can you believe how fug this Birkin is? ORANGE?!? Sure, it’s “Hermes Orange” (I think that’s an official color), but if you’re going to get a Birkin, why not blue? Black? White? NOT ORANGE. Is it that Eric just went into Hermes and grabbed the first one he saw?

But the Birkin made Farty happy. She tweeted, “It is only 1pm and i think i have pretty much heard from everyone in my life!! That is a birthday record!! Huge smile on my face! Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ;) ”. Cute. At least she loves it, I suppose. By the way, a new Birkin goes for something like $15,000 (a used one goes for around $10,000). I wonder who really paid for this Birkin?!?

So happy birthday, Farty. May your cake be made of rich chocolate and may your tumbler never be without liquor. Happy 31st!




Photos courtesy of Fame & Jessica’s Twitter.

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55 Responses to “Jessica Simpson got an ugly orange Birkin for her 31st birthday”

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  1. Jen says:

    Why does she need a Birkin? Doesn’t she design handbags?

  2. Patricia says:

    Is the giant bag supposed to make her look smaller?

  3. caitlin'smommy says:

    I believe the color is “portiron” and I, actually love it.

  4. anoneemouse says:

    Wonder if she had to buy her own Birkin like she had to buy her own engagement ring?

  5. Mandy says:

    She probably buys them so she feels better about knocking off the designs.

  6. tiny teacher says:

    Forget the bag- the whole damn living room looks tacky and cheap. Also, is someone having a morning beer? What’s with the longneck on the ottoman?!

  7. brin says:

    I wonder who really paid AND picked out out.
    Why is every comment being moderated?

  8. Cindy says:

    @tiny Thankyou!!!!! That’s what I was thinking…. Also wondering who sleeps on the sofa?????

  9. Jackson says:

    Yeah, I just don’t get the $15k bag, I don’t care who makes it. Buy me a $1k bag and fill it with $14k cash.

  10. Kelly says:

    What’s with the pajamas? Jesus Christ, she looks like a sorority girl. If I had that much money, I would be wearing the finest silk dressing gowns, LOL. And I agree w @tiny teacher – what the hell is wrong with that room? It’s like a coke den of the 80s.

    I am fortunate enough to have an Hermes – a Clemence Lindy, which is extremely tasteful and goes with everything. I have no clue why someone would spend that much on an ORANGE bag that goes with nothing.

  11. smith says:

    She always looks so self-concious.

    And no dear, the giant purse does not make you look smaller. Why do women do that??

    If that theory worked I’d dangle an amoire from my arm …

  12. Liz says:

    eh. hate the girl, but if she wants an orange bag, she can have an orange bag. this is JS, though, so I’m sure she’ll find some atrocious way to not pull this off…

  13. Katy says:

    Lovely bags, but Hermes has a horrible track record with respect to animal rights when making their accessories. On a separate note, why is it wrong for Kim Kardashian to have a Birkin in every colour when Posh Spice is no different? Seriously, just Google “Birkin bag”, and Victoria Beckham will be in most of the pics (the scowly broad has one for every friggin’ outfit!)

  14. Hautie says:

    I LOVE this orange Birkin bag.

    Matter of fact our favorite little crackhead girl, Lohan, had an orange Birkin. It was the first one I saw in this color. And I loved it then.

    Granted Lohan probably traded it for some meth along the way.

    But this is my favorite color for this bag. Followed by that shocking pink color one.

  15. OtherChris says:

    I wonder if he also surprised her with a $15,000 withdrawal from her checking account?

  16. Ron says:

    You know Jessica wears alot of orange, so why not an orange bag? The pajamas I can forgive, but the bag cost more than all of the furnishings in the lovely room.

  17. Leticia says:

    @otherChris, no he saved up the allowance that she pays him and bought the bag with that. plus he mows her yard for extra change.

  18. AngelMay says:

    Does she ever wear anything but jean cutoffs? Hope they get washed sometimes.

  19. Truthful says:

    eh, she bought herself a birkin, goodygoody..

    poor Jess.

  20. Quest says:

    That room is a filthy mess..did not even notice the bag until after… :)

  21. Kimble says:

    I believe Joan Rivers has one in this colour too – great company!

  22. bluhare says:

    Orange is a classic Hermes colour.

    Victoria Beckham does have a huge Hermes collection, but now that she’s designing bags she’s carrying her own these days (or at least most of the time). They are gorgeous bags; simple and understated yet very well constructed (or so I think from drooling over the photos). I wish I could afford one, but they’re all about $2K or higher.

  23. Novaraen says:

    yeah…that ugly color of bag is perfect for her and her terrible dress sense. It’ll go with all her fancy bright colored tapestry printed mumu’s!! lol

  24. Rita says:

    Why do people think “farty” is vapid? Perhaps it has something to do with a 31 year old woman sitting in her Dr. Denton PJ’s while kissing her orange Birkin (that almost sounds dirty).

  25. Mary Jane says:

    Hideous bags (in any colour) for hideous people…

  26. ladybert62 says:

    $15,000 for a big purse/sachel? What a waste of money.

  27. WillyNilly says:

    I think the longneck is a Pelligrino, actually. I think I see a blue label.

    Also, it’s her birthday – she can wear the scabbiest flanel she wants to (way more comfy than silk IMO)…and don’t judge me but that’s pretty much exactly how my living room looks when I’m hungover…and it’s Jess, so…

  28. GeekChic says:

    Perhaps he got an orange bag so that it matches her skin when she goes in for her next spray tan?

  29. Esmeralda says:

    That bag is really fug. At least with her. Maybe a dark-skinned woman could walk with it and it would look nice/compliment her skin tone. Just awful on Jessica though.

  30. party says:

    Jessica’s boyfriend looks like Britney’s boyfriend. This house looks like a residence of a meth fiend. Did you see Nick’s home? It looks like something out of a magazine.

  31. LynnE says:

    Eric should take the time from his busy schedule to read her tweets since she tweeted in January that women under 40 dont wear birkins well unless they are inherited.

  32. Turtle Dove says:

    I don’t get the love for these bags. at. all. They aren’t even finished nicely inside. It’s a $15,000 dollar waste of money in this woman’s opinion. I’d rather have $15,000 in retirement funding instead.

  33. Maritza says:

    @ladybert62 – Just what I thought.

  34. Dana M says:

    The orange isn’t that bad. It’s quite lovely.. But on to the alarming part, the price tag: $15k! Can you imagine how many starving children you can feed?

  35. KatieM says:

    I’ll admit that I am a shoe/purse addict, but I personally have no problem with the bag (cost/color or otherwise!). It is an expensive bag, but it was a gift! I doubt that many girls I know would turn down a free designer bag. Secondly, Birkin is Birkin, and looks fabulous in any color. I am not an orange fan, but I think this bag is gorgeous!

  36. Jen says:

    Maybe he got a discount on the ugly color, and the price tag was the only thing he was looking at?

    The weird/drab/dirty living room she is in was the first thing I noticed. So very different than the house she lived in with Nick.

  37. YvetteW says:

    I think he just probably picked up whatever was available. I am currently carrying an orange Oryany straw bag. Love it and gets lots of compliments (though I suppose the detractors are polite enough not to say anything!)

  38. Chris says:

    I can’t believe she’s only 31. It seems like she’s been around for ever.

  39. June says:

    I wonder if she knows that she’s referred to as “Farty”?

  40. Carolyn says:

    Jess truly has no style. She makes everything look tacky…even the classic orange Birkin (as others have noted). My boss has a red Birkin. It is just beautiful. Don’t get me started on the awful room she’s in – looks like she’s in a boarding house with uni students. How much $$ is she supposed to have?

  41. Louiset says:

    I think this story is just an excuse to attack Jessica. I see a lot of celebrities with orange handbags and a post has never been written about them. I hate the color but for some reason it’s a popular color.

  42. Shoe_Lover says:

    @ Katy- the reason why it is so awful that Kim K has one has opposed to Victoria Beckham is because Victoria Beckham didn’t get famous by intentionally releasing a s#x tape in which she got peed on. Kim K is pure trash and does not deserve a Birkin bag. The fact that she has one dilutes the image of the brand. Hermes is supposed to be opulence- the crème de la crème of the luxury world. Trash like that shouldn’t be allowed to touch it. Victoria Beckham may be a lot of things but she has never come across as trash. I know Jessica Simpson is basically white trash as well but I can’t hate on her and at least she has talent (singing I mean) and didn’t get famous by peddling s#x and there is something likeable about Jessica. Kim K is vile and heinous and I can’t wait for her 15 minutes to be over.

  43. KOOL GUY says:


  44. antisara says:

    Need a caption next to Blimpson’s head where it says: “BETTER KISS THE BAG THAN ERIC-McFROG”.
    Tired of kissing frogs, Blimply?
    Funny, at first instead of reading Birkin i read “orange Bikini for her birthday”…hahahahahahahahahaha…damn! that’d be the day! LMAO! ANyhow, Este Lauder started the orange baggy trend back in 1998, that’s an old one.

  45. poodlemom says:

    Why should anyone buy a $15,000 pocketbook? Are they all CRAZY???

  46. Ally says:

    It’s so funny that this overpriced suitcase is named after Birkin. In her heyday in the 70s, Jane Birkin used an actual wicker basket as a purse for years.

  47. Apple says:

    I wonder if he got an employee discount. For you know, being employed by Jessica.

  48. Tina says:

    She gave her boyfriend her credit card and he picked the bag out?

  49. krys says:

    this bags are hand made,and they can be from 9000 us till 150 000 is crazy . but it is a beautiful bag, and sometimes u need to be on a list to be able to get them…..but i love it i wish i have one ….on my dreams maybe

  50. Melancholy says:

    I don’t hate it for a brunette, but it will look gross with HER hair colour.

  51. Micki says:

    The world will be borring if we all had black, blue or white bags.

  52. Pat says:

    The orange actually stands out well against black/white/grey which is the normal dresscode of the classy fashionistas. Eventhough getting a black bag is the standard or “you can’t go wrong” I would strongly recommend other colours.

  53. Michele says:

    Seriously! That is super cute but 15k for orange? I think we’re better off doing a cheaper version…Banana republic had somethign like this online….AnyKnockOff too