Kellan Lutz shows off Kellan Lutz’s magnificent body in new Kellan Lutzy ads

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Kellan Lutz is so excited! Kellan Lutz is turned on right now, thinking about you thinking about Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz has the pleasure of presenting Kellan Lutz’s new ad campaign for Dylan George’s Abbot + Main “diffusion line”. Kellan Lutz co-designed these Kellan Lutzy jeans!!! Kellan Lutz knows that men AND ladies want an ass like Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz knows you are looking at Kellan Lutz’s crotch in these beautiful jeans. Kellan Lutz says you are welcome.

So this is the ad campaign, in which Kellan Lutz had to dye Kellan Lutz’s naturally light hair to something darker and more “chocolate Kellan Lutz”. Kellan Lutz also requested that the Photoshop team try and tone down Kellan Lutz’s magnificent body, lest Kellan Lutz get a reputation as a Kellan Lutz-y showoff who spend too much time working on Kellan Lutz’s pecs. Kellan Lutz also asked the Photoshop team to tone down the “serial killer glare” in Kellan Lutz’s eyes. Kellan Lutz wants to romance the ladies with his awesome hard body, and eventually Kellan Lutz will cuddle those ladies against Kellan Lutz‘s awesome washboard stomach and Kellan Lutz‘s broad chest. Kellan Lutz does not want to look like the kind of Kellan Lutz who would throw a Rohypnol in a lady’s drink so Kellan Lutz can carve them up in peace and quiet. Just FYI, ladies. Kellan Lutz is single! And these Kellan Lutzy ads are all Kellan Lutz needs to get laid.

Here’s Kellan Lutz on all of the Kellan Lutzy ads:

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz wanted to point his toe like a ballerina in this shot. The photographer told Kellan Lutz to stop it.”

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Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz knows you like the Kellan Lutz crotch shot.”

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Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz can pop Kellan Lutz’s hip better than Anne V. Any. Day. Of. The. Week.”

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Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz is so sexy when you can’t see Kellan Lutz’s serial killer glare.”

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Kellan Lutz: “Deep thoughts by Kellan Lutz.”

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Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz tweaked Kellan Lutz’s man-nipples for this shot. Kellan Lutz knows you noticed.”

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Kellan Lutz: “In this shot, Kellan Lutz was drooling a little bit because Kellan Lutz was thinking about how this ad campaign will simply add to Kellan Lutz’s enormous fame.”

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33 Responses to “Kellan Lutz shows off Kellan Lutz’s magnificent body in new Kellan Lutzy ads”

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  1. Jess says:

    He just doesn’t do it for me.

  2. brin says:

    Kellan Lutz is a cheesy famewhore who tries way to hard. Kellan Lutz also cannot act.

  3. Anna says:

    Hahahaha what the hell are these for? I have never seen an editorial so in your face hilariously Tryhard.

  4. Sisi says:

    damn you, you made me look at his nipples…

  5. RocketMerry says:

    And of course the girl is naked and whorish. Of course.
    Men’s ego must be seriously damaged.

  6. seVen says:

    This whole article has made me wanna start talking in third person…i lol’d though. seVen thinks Kellan Lutz is a tool.

  7. Quest says:

    I wonder who Kellan Lutzs paid to have a Kellan Lutz nipple tweak. *my eyes…burning holes in retina*

  8. TQB says:

    Kellen Lutz is better without Kellen Lutz’s serial killer eyes and orange hair, but still pretty sleazy.

  9. Hollowdoll says:

    Those pics are so hilarious. I love how in the 5 one he is flexing his muscle. The whole thing is laughable.

  10. Jezi says:

    Oh man, I kinda think he’s hot. *ducks for cover*

  11. Sarah says:

    Oh thank you for starting my morning with a laugh! That last one is cracking me up. Oh Kellan Lutz, you coy bastard

  12. bigchili says:

    I love these Kellan Lutz posts – they always make me laugh & I like to look at him. But I’m not loving these ads. Something about the pics with him & Anne V just seem creepy.

  13. Anne de Vries says:

    I love how he completely fails to make a connection with the female model even though they’re supposed to be sexy pics. Talk about selfabsorbed.

  14. Turtle Dove says:

    LOVE these posts. Thanks, Kaiser.

  15. kayls says:

    From that second picture, are we supposed to believe Kellan Lutz can make a woman orgasmic just by standing near her?

  16. mia girl says:

    “chocolate Kellan Lutz” that is friggin hilarious!

    BTW @Kaiser, Kellan Lutz knows that while you make fun of Kellan Lutz, his Kellan Lutziness is beginning to work on you and soon you will be dreaming of Kellan Lutz and his Kellan Lutzy hips f**king the Kellan Lutz out of you! Ha ha

  17. Stubbylove says:

    New favorite headline.

  18. Smokey says:

    Kellan Lutz designed shiny spandex jeans that do not fit Kellan Lutz’s crotch at all.

  19. sapphire says:

    Kaiser, this is priceless. What a loser in overrated packaging.

  20. Jen says:

    “Kellan Lutz does not want to look like the kind of Kellan Lutz who would throw a Rohypnol in a lady’s drink so Kellan Lutz can carve them up in peace and quiet.”

    I’m dying here, hahaha.

  21. Denise says:

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never laughed this hard in my life. Pure cheese, ewwwwwwww.

  22. Blue says:

    I love these posts. I have tears from laughing.

  23. Denise says:

    Kellan lutz did not notice that his girlfriend left him. Kellan lutz is now dating, kellan lutz.

  24. mishibear says:

    Hahahah i always laugh so hard reading Kellan Lutz posts. What a douche.

    The best part about these photos are Anne V’s shoes though. I want!!

  25. MuñekitA* says:

    This is so HILARIOUS!!
    So fu*kin’ Funny.. OMG everybody at the office is looking at me like .. what’s wrong with this girl but i cant hold it… this is beyond funny.

    ahh i love how you make fun of this poor guy… keep the kellan Lutz post please… we need to laugh hard at least once a week!

  26. jemshoes says:

    Kaiser, I almost threw up my breakfast just now! :P But great post as usual!

  27. Sinder says:

    He looks darn good with that darker hair vice that clownish color that grows out of his head naturally.

  28. Clair says:

    HAAHAHAHA your captions just killed me…

  29. I Choose Me says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! Second only to the ‘From the Desk of Clive Owen’ are the Kellan Lutz posts. Kaiser you really outdid yourself this time. :D

  30. Anonymous says:

    not sure what you all have against Kellan Lutz, I think he looks pretty damn good!

  31. sarahk says:

    Oh my God I actually just woke my dog up laughing so hard.

    Especially at “The photographer told Kellan Lutz to stop it”

    Please continue posting Kellan Lutz stories forever and ever.