Lady Gaga kept saying that her music video for “You & I” was supposed to come out on Thursday, and that it would be her 1000th tweet and all would be healed and beautiful in the world once we had seen this masterpiece of a video. Well, yesterday, the video started leaking all over the place, so finally Gaga just officially released the damn thing early. She tweeted, “You must love all + every part of me, as must I, for this complex + incomprehensible force to be true.” You know… I used to like her, really and truly. Now I just want to smack her a little bit. Gaga, Lea Michele, Kristen Stewart, and Gwyneth Paltrow, they all just need one good slap and a “BITCH, get over yourself.” With that in mind, here’s the video for “You & I” which still sounds like Elton John to me:
Shall I just do my list of thoughts? Sure. Here you go:
*Lady Gaga in the prairie, like a cracked-out diva prairie dog (OMG, she totally looks like a prairie dog). In couture. Seeing Gaga sing, dance and strut in a cornfield is… not particularly good marketing.
*Jo Calderone! Gaga’s drag king alter ego! He’s in the corn field too, looking less like Adam Goldberg and more like… who? Ralph Macchio mixed with Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade?
*CROP CIRCLES. Gaga, Jo and a piano in a crop circle! It must mean something.
*Holy mother of Cher, who the f@$& is that hot-ass man humping on Gaga?!? Ah, it’s Taylor Kinney. I don’t even want to tell you how long it took me to find that. He was on The Vampire Diaries. And he needs to be A) in my pants and B) on Hot Guy Friday.
*Holy hell, Gaga is dancing IN A BARN. It’s a hoedown, y’all. A leather-clad dominatrix, drag-queen hoedown.
*Gaga as a mermaid. Her fins look surprisingly realistic. The mermaid look is my favorite look, I think.
*My favorite part? When that hot-ass man Taylor Kinney is literally humping Mermaid Gaga’s fin-parts. Um, is there an opening down there? Too graphic?
*Crap, no my real favorite part is that the barn has stripper poles.
She is paying homage to:
-children of the corn
-litte mermaid
-bionic woman
-dracula
-domina/’80 cher
-john travolta
-elton john/queen
She put all that crap in 6 min video for no reason. Absolutley no connection. It’s called ART… art of brain diarrhoea.
Didn’t watch the video, as I didn’t want to have to be subjected to her music, visual or audio.
Gaga is really stuck up far her own ass, eh?
“You must love all + every part of me, as must I, for this complex + incomprehensible force to be true.”
WTF!? There’s nothing complex or incomprehensible about Gaga or her music. It’s manufactured pop at best and her only gimmick is to wear stupid outfits, and side with whatever issues seem “cool” or can help Gaga’s ticket sales. That is it.
Even Madonna wasn’t this pretentious in her heyday.
the video has now been marked PRIVATE?!?!?!?
Haha,s new album is so-so as have her videos been also. Judas was good, though. I miss Madonna in the 90s. Her videos were amazing and still stand the test of time.
I want to slap those people, too.
Looking at that picture of her wearing minimal makeup, I now understand the need for the distracting clothes, makeup and hats. Anything to take the attention away from that unfortunate face.
Bitch, CALM DOWN!
I have no idea what fresh hell that was. The song isnt bad, almost country, but the video was just weird shots of Gaga bullshit which didnt make any sense with the song.
I see The Outsiders and Splash in the bathtub and Ashkenazi settling in the Midwest. And Josh Flagg’s grandmother giving money advice i.e. sometimes it’s wiser to rent.
This is a country song.
Thank you cherry rose; of all the reasons to despise lady xerox the best one is simply that she is an insult to the very concept of art – which is why she endlessly blathers on about it; when you’re as corporate commercial as she is, you blather on and hope you’re tween and soccer mom fans don’t get the joke. btw, the best songwriter of her generation really the lyrics to most of her songs are profoundly dumb non sequiters – not lyrical or poetical just pointless like the lyric you quoted.
WHERE IS MADONNA ALREADY?????!!!!!!!
#6……nailed it. Gaga should stick with the tiresome outfits. Anything to distract from her face.
I swear faith hill or taylor swift could sing that song and you wouldnt have to change anything but the video, wich makes no sense anyway
You guys left out Frankenstein, and Hee-Haw.
To think that’s what that face looks like after plastic surgery! I am SO over all of it with her. Maybe she’ll take up as a cracked out prairie dog?
Notice she looks asexual even with hot guy humping her? Looked like she was more into grabbing her own ass in the crop circle.
@Kaiser – I featured Taylor Kinney on our supernatural HGF! I used to watch VD.
The beginning looks like the end of Se7en.
Oh my god, but I want that metal cyborg arm accessory SO BADLY right now.
All I can see when I see the mermaid is her ripping off Bette Midler again.
Remember how Gaga was during the ‘just dance’video? Oh how I wish she’d go back to that style.
The song beyond sucks. Also, why is she hell bent on consistently putting herself in subservient, violent, chained up situations that hint at or blatantly depict mutilation? With a dance routine thrown in for no reason? In assless costumes? I’m tired of a world that tries to market this as empowerment. And once again, song super sucks.
The song sounds like a 90’s ballad.
Jeez- I liked it. I think it’s hot.
Like the song, couldn’t watch it though. Somehow, after a few minutes of her performance art I feel the need to shower. Can you get an STD from a music video?
I felt like she was trying to give SOMEONE a boner from all of that, but I’m not sure WHO. Men? Women? Merfolk? Huh.
gaga is the mr. brainwash of music. that is all.
I actually like the song. It sounded a little Elton John-ish at the start but then went and veered into country.
My only complaint is all the ADD shots cutting from the mermaid business to the barn ho-down and the other nonsense in the crop circle.
Why not just make it a more coherent story? Buddy catches a mermaid, wants to keep her on the farm, so he works on her and makes her legs…and when he finally gets it right, him and his mermaid Frankenstein live happily ever after. The end. Okay and maybe cut to Gaga on the road again…
See? How hard is it to be original and unique…AND coherent? lol
Mermaid in a Manhole was one of the Ginea-pig videos from Japan in the early 90s… mermaid Gaga reminded me of that, but Jesus you guys are harsh. Who among us are supermodels?? Guess what. None. Neither is she. She works out, but yeah, her face isn’t classically pretty. So fucking what. She’s not the greatest tallent in the world, but in pop music right now, what she’s doing, writing for herself, singing live and awesomely… that really isn’t done anymore. And Im not even A DAMN FAN!! She’s a human being who’s been removed from it all and has become a bit delusional, but for gods sake give the kid a break. Everyone bashing her just sounds really juvenile and jealous :/
Jo Calderone throws a bottle a beer like a girl…oh wait!
How do you get a mermaid on a farm?
How bout the part where she makes out with…herself? Uck. Narcissism to the max..
needs a fish-in-the-face slapping contest, a la “monty python.”
@Jojo
Hahahaha! I never made the connection but it is so true!!
Gaga is hot as a man — in a dirty Scarface/Bob Dylan sorta way. Yes, I have terrible taste in men.
Everytime, I really try hard with Gaga but in the end, her work is always a cruel lacking of cleverness for my brain!
Garbage…next…
I wish she had done a video for government hooker or that German song I can’t pronounce. This song sucks.
There is definitely something wrong with me. I actually thought the Jo Calderone/Lady Gaga makeout scene was kind of hot. How concerned should I be about myself right now?
This is my favorite song off the album. The video is…strange…but that’s Gaga.
@VV woah… You almost made some of this mess make sense. I am shocked and awed that creating a storyline from all this nonsense is even remotely possible, so props to you!
Sweet! Another Gag music video that is not only irrelevant to the song whatsoever, but also doesn’t even make sense according to how the song sounds.
Her song kind of reminds me of that “Not Gonna Write You a Love Song” kinda song they play in elevators and banks. It’s even worse now that I’ve listened to it. Bring on the gratuity, y’all.
#6….YOU NAILED IT!!!!
For the last few months, I’ve held the opinion that Lady Gaga just needs to ‘go away’ for a little while… To give people a rest from all this tired ‘poetic tortured abstract artist‘ bullshit, & her ever increasing arrogance. Is it just me, or is she starting to talk like Bjork?
Too much of an ‘oddly familiar’ thing.
Wow, beyonce’s influence is clearly present. Those dances moves are like….I don’t even know how to describe them… they seriously must be choreographed by Beyonce’s choreographer because they are the exact same. They even remind of beyonce.
Say something nice: I find her more attractive than I’d like to admit. I’d like to find her repugnant, but I envy her, despite that she has several physical flaws, and she makes a really hot guy. I’m not sure if I hate her or like her more when she’s in drag.
Does she have a brother, who isn’t obnoxious and full of himself?
As far as I can make out, that guy turned her into a mermaid for whatever reason. I’d say he made sure there was an opening in her tail.
I love Gaga and I loved this song!!!
I’ve watched the video over and over and it is amazing and I’m in love with it!
you know the part where she sang ” you and i !!!” arround 2:47 of the song and so on?.. reconize it sound like a rock song from some where.. but forogt where its from… does anyone have any idea?
@ #28, that sounds like the beginning of a bad joke… “How do you get a mermaid on a farm?”
I watched this despite not liking Gaga because she filmed it in Omaha, where I live. Not worth my time.
taylor kinney is so hot and i would marry him. hes the great looking in the video and delious’!.
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Very excited about this collaboration. I am already a huge OPI fan so I probably won’t be disappointed. I am drawn to the “Fly” and the “Save Me” most. Only time will tell how I feel about the rest!