Kelly Bensimon is delusional, Photoshopped into oblivion in Shape Mag

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This is Kelly Bensimon on the cover of Shape Magazine’s September issue. I’m pointing out the ID, because in real life, Kelly Bensimon looks nothing like this. In candid photos, she resembles Iggy Pop, in every possible way. They didn’t just Photoshop the ever-loving f–k out of her face and her stomach (her real stomach looks like THIS), but they also ‘Shopped her bolt-ons. I think that’s what upsets me the most. Kelly’s ‘Shopped Iggy Pop body is understandable, up to a point, but to magically give her natural-looking breasts? Wrong. Also, they gave her a defined waist! The real Kelly is thick-waisted, and mannish. If they’re going to do so much to her, why not just bite the bullet and put a Barbie doll on the cover? Anyway, the interview is just like you would imagine it to be – Kelly is one of the craziest bitches going:

Kelly defends her erratic behavior on RHONY (specifically addressing her St. John’s meltdown) saying: “People called me crazy, but what they saw was me reacting – in an honest way – to a situation that wasn’t honest. Then everyone ganged up on me. So of course I looked crazy.”

The fight with Bethenny Frankel: “People really thought I believed I was better than her, which is ridiculous. It wasn’t about social hierarchy but about her behavior. She called me a bad name, which I thought was fourth grade – like – hence the ‘down here‘ comment. Since then, I‘ve also called people bad named on the show. I‘m not proud of it, but it happens.”

She’s not on drugs: “Everyone always asks me why I wasn’t on the cocaine and vodka diet when I was a model. I was going to college and couldn’t be bombed out of my mind. My body is like a Ferrari. I know what it needs to run well and that doesn’t include drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.”

She’s smart: “I find it hilarious when someone says I’m not smart. I’ve written three books, including American Style, a review of U.S. fashion, which is a textbook in some schools.”

[From Shape Magazine, print edition]

Bitch is cray-cray. There really is no doubt in my mind. I wonder if we should just designate Kelly some kind of “Britney Spears status” – like we can’t make fun of her anymore because she has a genuine mental illness? But unlike Britney, Kelly honestly doesn’t think she has a problem. Kelly thinks she’s fine. Nay, Kelly thinks she’s the brains of this whole operation. That just made me chortle.

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Photos courtesy of Fame, Shape.

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39 Responses to “Kelly Bensimon is delusional, Photoshopped into oblivion in Shape Mag”

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  1. brin says:

    There is no way I would have known that was her…look at the real pics of her, that’s beyond photoshopped!

  2. aenflex says:

    Yikes.

  3. gee says:

    This is called shape, should they be clinging on to some realism? They should call it abstract instead.

  4. Whatamess! says:

    I need eye bleach..

  5. Samigirl says:

    Jeeze. She almost resembles…ummm…the girl that plays Rosalie in the Twilight movies. Like…she looks pretty here, and I thought that was who this was. Yikes. They did a sh*t ton of shopping to her face too.

  6. Emma says:

    What an unfortunate body structure. Oh, but lets not forget, it’s “Like a Ferrari.” lol

  7. anne says:

    Hilarious and yes, delusional.

  8. Kelly says:

    How can SHAPE magazine possibly get away with that? There’s a rising tide against completely and blatantly falsified images – for example, in Britain, L’Oreal had to pull photoshopped images of Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington. Anyone with a computer (or who’s ever looked at a “worst beach bodies” tabloid at the supermarket) knows what these people really look like.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    That may be her face but honestly, its on top of someone else’s body! Scary to see so early in the morning.

  10. 6 says:

    She obviously succumbed to the cocaine and vodka diet at some point. Go Ferrari!!!

  11. poopie says:

    funny, it doesn’t LOOK like a ferrari, more like a SHEVEE!!!!

  12. Pix says:

    Two things – 1. This woman always wears bikini bottoms that are way too small. it’s gross.
    2. The “bad name” Bethanny called her was Madonna. Bethanny said “Who is she Madonna?” I find it hilarious that Kelly thinks that such an awful thing.

  13. ol cranky says:

    didn’t shape pull that with Kelly Clarkson a few years back?

    It’s bad enough when tabloids or “fashion” mags do it but when a mag that is allegedly supposed to be about healthy living and fitness does it, it’s time to shut them down

    as for Bensimon’s statements, my personal favs are:

    “I was going to college and couldn’t be bombed out of my mind.”

    I know lots of people bombed out of their gourds during college, many of them graduated with honors

    ““I find it hilarious when someone says I’m not smart. I’ve written three books, including American Style, a review of U.S. fashion, which is a textbook in some schools.”
    Other people who have written books: Miley Cyrus, Tila Tequila and Snooki. . . ’nuff said

  14. Cringer says:

    I wouldnt have even know that was her! she has been photoshopped into a plastic doll! crazy

  15. annaloo. says:

    Yeah, for a magazine called Shape that is about body health…it’s a shame they were so heavy handed with photoshop.

  16. dorothy says:

    Doesn’t even look like her. My gosh, did they need to photoshop her that much? If so, why is she on the cover?

  17. smith says:

    She never ceases to amuse. It’s like she stopped maturing at the age of eight. Her views on “people being mean,” LIFE and omg, SEX – any discussion of our sexual selves (which happens quite often on the “Housewives” shows) and she covers her ears and cowers like a virginal child, not a woman who has two kids.

    I’m so happy she exists.

  18. Stubbylove says:

    “Bitch is cray-cray” – made my day.

  19. Bobby the K says:

    This magazine also claims you can eat what you want and lose weight.

  20. Jules says:

    Just rename the magazines to photoshop. What blatent lies.

  21. Emily says:

    It looks to me like the seriously put her head on somebody else’s body. The shadowing under her chin doesn’t continue to her neck, her head looks a littler smaller than her body, and the neck on the body looks as if it’s staring straight ahead, while her face is turned slightly down. Just a graphic designer’s opinion.

  22. MJ says:

    They just stuck her face onto someone else’s body. What BS.

  23. deathofasalesman says:

    @Smith: so true. She is clearly (emotionally) stunted in a profound way. In all honesty it’s probably a challenge having been so attractive in her youth…someone needs to send her the memo that what’s cute at 25 ain’t gonna cut it in middle-age.

    And on another note, she doesn’t seem to be able to form thoughts or ideas that last beyond 200 characters (or less). She seems to be one of those celebrities who thinks in “tweets”, spurting out blurbs or phrases that you just know she picked up from Sex and the City Reruns.

    Poor thing.

    She needs to get a bob, dye it blonde, start dressing a little more age-appropriate,lower her dosage and gain about 10-15lbs…if she wants to attract a man of substance.

  24. inked613 says:

    i just cancelled my subscription to the magazine. so tired of the lies.

  25. the original bellaluna says:

    I don’t think that’s just photoshop – I think it’s someone else’s body (and hair) they just pasted her face on.

  26. original kate says:

    “for a magazine called Shape that is about body health…it’s a shame they were so heavy handed with photoshop.”

    @ annaloo: i thought the same thing. but haven’t they done this before with another semi-famous person? was it kelly clarkson? or kelly ripa?anyway, there was an uproar but still they continue. we all know that magazines do it, but for a magazine that is purportedly aimed at healthy women who take care of themselves it seems rather disingenuous to photoshop these women into oblivion.

  27. Kelly says:

    In thinking about the magazine-cover thing, I think things started to go wrong when they made the transition from featuring actual MODELS to featuring “celebrities,” along with an accompanying fatuous article.

    Remember Christy Turlington on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar? Linda Evangelista? No celebrity – Anne Hathaway, Jessica Simpson (blech) can ever match them. And the fitness magazines used to have actual in-shape fitness models on the cover – women who worked hard on their bodies – yoga, weights, etc.

  28. piper says:

    @ pix – “it’s gross”. ha ha ha ha ha ha – so awesome! i always laugh when KBS says that in response to something because it seriously never makes any sense! chick is SO CRAY CRAY!

  29. anne_000 says:

    they also photoshopped her shoulders & got rid of that bump.

  30. curleque says:

    They also gave her hips.

  31. thinkaboutit says:

    I agree, they photoshopped the hell out of her face then plopped in atop another woman’s body. The proportions and the angel are all wrong. It’s totally off. Besides, there aren’t enough editing tools in creation to fix those crazy cock-eyed fake boobs of hers!

  32. sandy#1 says:

    i agree the phrase cray-cray is hilarious, good one.

  33. JennJenn says:

    I saw that cover in the supermarket today and wondered if CB would ridicule Shape for giving Bensimon’s tranny figure a feminine waistline.

  34. John Wayne Lives says:

    1. photoshopped to hell is just the beginning of this abomination
    2. this woman bugs the living sh!t out of me.

  35. Whothefiis says:

    Read the hilarious review of the “textbook” she wrote. LOL

    http://www.amazon.com/American-Style-Kelly-Killoren-Bensimon/dp/B000E97X4I/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

  36. Francesca says:

    Coke + pot + jelly beans = Kelly!

  37. Ms.Martin says:

    This is exactly why young girls are developing eating disorders etc. All lies

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  39. RicardoCabeza says:

    So all you fatties are jealous right?

    I would throw this nutty chick one. She’s so crazy that you could do weird insane stuff to her and she would thank you.