Here are so many more photos of Linnocent’s ridiculous crack-face yesterday. Now that I’m not caught up in the heat of writing about Judge Sautner’s awesomeness in shooting down all things Linnocent, I can actually take the time to really look at her messed up face. She looks like she has two massive bruises across her cheeks, and her eyes are CRAZY. I really, really wish that she had to be drug and alcohol tested every time she appeared in court. Because I suspect that she goes into the LA courthouse tweaked out of her skull. Why are her eyes so bloodshot? Why does she keep doing that to her crack lips? She looks like she’s permanently in the midst of a cracked-out snarl.

I do have actual Linnocent “news” too. I’m just going to do bullet points:

*When Linnocent was booked, somebody accidentally identified her as “male” rather than “female”. It must have been the drag queen makeup. Except that even drag queens wouldn’t wear this much hideous blush.

*TMZ’s “sources” (we know it’s you, Mother Crackhead) say that Linnocent plans to wow Judge Sautner by doing her morgue hours… and then some! Linnocent plans to check into the morgue today, and that she “says she’s so serious about impressing the judge … we’re told she has promised to go to the morgue every day between now and her next hearing on November 2.” She can SAY whatever she wants. The follow-through should be interesting. Cue Linnocent snorting formaldehyde.

*TMZ’s “source” also says that LL “understands” why the judge was so harsh, and that LL “admits she didn’t follow Sautner’s previous instructions to the T. We’re told Lindsay has internalized Sautner’s admonitions — and is taking the entire experience today as one big warning that she needs to get her act together, stat. We’re told Lindsay gets the message — and doesn’t harbor any bad feelings toward Sautner for taking a hard line.” Bitch, the judge is just doing her job. She deals with dumb, entitled crack heads every damn day.

*When LL goes in for her next hearing, she’ll argue that she doesn’t deserve jail time, which is so, so stupid. If she got a jail sentence, whatever time she got would be drastically reduced because of California’s budget crisis. She should ask for the maximum jail sentence (like, a year and a half) and then say, “See you next week!”

*Danette Meyers, the original prosecutor on LL’s myriad legal troubles, has given an interview to Radar which is really, really interesting – go here to read it in full. Some highlights – Meyers says that Judge Sautner never should have reduced LL’s felony theft charge to a misdemeanor: “Had Judge Sautner kept the felony and not reduced the charge to a misdemeanor, Lindsay Lohan, once remanded would have been remanded without bail. That was the importance of keeping that a felony and not reducing it to a misdemeanor… You need to catch Ms. Lohan’s attention and Judge Sautner didn’t seem to want to do that, so she reduced it to a misdemeanor. [Lindsay Lohan] doesn’t take this stuff seriously, and just because Judge Sautner was telling her to do this that and the other, she wasn’t going to take it anymore seriously than when Judge Eden Fox told her and when Judge Marsha Revel told her. So the only thing that appears to catch Lindsay Lohan’s attention is time in custody and I tried to impart that to the court. Hopefully something will happen this time and maybe Lindsay Lohan will understand the severity of her actions and do something about it.”

*Linnocent only finished up her shoplifting course on Tuesday night, remember? You know why she didn’t get it done earlier? Because she had to take a leave of absence to get emergency dental work done on October 14. Radar’s dental expert claims that LL likely “had some bondings or veneers done to cover up the stained and decayed teeth.” LL’s probation report notes, “Ms. Lohan has not been absent to any regularly scheduled activities, except the session scheduled for her on Friday, October 14, 2011 due to her need to seek dental work. Client presented evidence of attending her dentist office. As a result her absence was excused.”

*When everyone realized just how bad her crack teeth were, LL was “mortified”. A source tells Radar, “Lindsay just didn’t realize how bad the problem had become. When the photos came out and everyone was shocked and laughing at her she was totally mortified. She arranged the first appointment she could get and sorted out the issue. She takes pride in her appearance and knows she needs to look good at all times, it’s how she makes her living.” Sure, THAT mortifies her. Not the hooking, not all of the legal drama, not being handcuffed in open court for the twentieth time.

*You can read a copy of LL’s probation report of lies here.

*You can see a Linnocent’s latest mugshot here. This is… what? The tenth one?

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.