Celebrity stylists tell all to Star Mag: Kristen Stewart has “grubby nails & a bad attitude”

I somehow missed last week’s Star Magazine cover story, and I apologize for that, because it is HILARIOUS. It’s all about “Celebrity Stylists Tell All” and those stylists – all totally anonymous, of course – are massive bitches. They want to take everybody down, but I just wanted to excerpt my favorite pieces:

Kristen Stewart: “She has grubby nails, ratty sneakers and a bad attitude. Very few people want to work with her because she doesn’t want to look good.” (via The Mail)

Angelina Jolie: Despite a buxom bustline, Angelina is flat in the back. “She wears butt pads to give her skinny figure some curves, but they show if she wears silk,” says an insider. “Some companies don’t even lend her clothes for events anymore.”

Brad Pitt: “His nickname on the set of Troy was ‘Arm Pitt,’ he stank so bad,” says a source, who also reveals that Brad’s “messy” new look is the result of hours of styling.

Whitney Houston: The 48-year-old diva “must wear a bra at all times,” according to a source. “It’s because her breast implants are like two pencil erasers that point in two different directions.”

Robert Pattinson: He “has fungus feet!” says an insider. “His toenails are all curled up and yellow.”

Jeremy Piven: The five-foot-nine star wears three-inch lifts! “He can normally hide them, but everyone noticed them when he had to take his shoes off at the Soho Beach House spa in Miami Beach,” says a source.

Lindsay Lohan: A stylist tells Star, “It’s a running joke between us that if it isn’t nailed down, she will take it. I’ve seen her take everything from hair products to fur coats.”

Jennifer Aniston: Aniston is all about the hair! “She throws a fit when she thinks certain people mess up her hair,” a stylist tells Star. To make matters worse, Aniston refuses to blow-dry her own hair, says the source. “It’s bizarre and obsessive. She’ll call her hairstylist at all hours just to blow it.” And she recently demanded a cut at 4 a.m.! Adds the source, “It was like a midlife crisis at four in the morning.”

The rest are either budget celebrities that no one cares about, or celebrities that just have deodorant and/or shapewear issues, which… seems pretty normal, I think. Now I can’t stop thinking about Angelina Jolie’s ass of lies (NOOO!) and Robert Pattinson’s sparkly fungus feet and The Piv’s three-inch high heels. Thank you, bitchy, anonymous stylists. This was a good one.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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89 Responses to “Celebrity stylists tell all to Star Mag: Kristen Stewart has “grubby nails & a bad attitude””

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  1. Quest says:

    LMFAOROTF!!!!

    I would buy this issue just for the laughs :D

    Although the Lindsay Lohan “tell all” is a given

  2. neelyo says:

    I can identify all of the stars on the cover except the guy with the caption ‘bad breath’. Can anyone identify him? Thanks!

  3. UKHels says:

    ha ha brilliant – RPatz, sparkly, twinkly ethereal vampire beauty to teen girls everywhere…with disgusting hobbit feet!!

    I like KStew, don’t care what anyone says – the article in the Mail made me like her more

    can’t act mind you but you can’t have everything

  4. Silk Spectre says:

    As we didn’t already know that the cracken gives herself a 10 finger discount – always and everywhere!

  5. Fakey says:

    LOL at Angie’s padded butt. It must take a man with nerves of steel to see her completely naked and bereft of any makeup and studio lighting. *shudder* *faint*

  6. Fakey says:

    Eww square jaw and Jen’s makeup is not properly blended in. These are the so called “most beautiful women” in the world. *barf*

  7. ShanKat says:

    Ahhhh. THIS is the kind of celeb dirt I crave!

    Jennifer Aniston’s hair thing is legendary. “Arm Pitt” is the best thing ever. I love stylists. They are the eyes and ears of showbusiness…and they usually only spill the goods on people who richly deserve a little public humiliation.

  8. Fakey says:

    Is there no inside dirt on Tom Cruise? Except for wearing lifts. The man is absolutely gorgeous.

  9. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    That can’t be J Lo’s leg! She’s always in short dresses and they always look great. I don’t think there’s any way she could hide cellulite like that

    Also, when I was almost as thin as Angie, my ass was flat too. Then I started lifting and doing lots of squats and my ass is now round. If she put on some muscle mass it would really improve upon what she already has.

    If K Stewart and R Pattinson are both dirty, then it sounds like they’re a well matched pair!

    And Blohan? That’s a given. Her closet is probably full of “borrowed” items. She swears she’s going to give them back guys, okay?

  10. Cathy says:

    Who’s Serena with the bald spot?

  11. rada says:

    We all know that just from seeing the photos. I don’t need a tabloid to tell me that Stewart is a major bitch with a chip on her shoulder or that Pitt stinks.

  12. Motor35 says:

    i think i read (maybe here?) that Aniston bragged about knowing how to give herself the best blow-outs? Me thinks she said she is great with a blow-dryer? she seems like a headache….

  13. Marjalane says:

    So who’s styling Brad Pitt’s “cultivated messy look”? Some hobo living under a bridge? I swear if you look hard enough, you can see the wavy stink lines coming off him. His kids are going to grow up thinking it’s O.K. to smell like a sewer.

  14. Marc says:

    I love all that dirt from insiders. I believe them becouse they don’t care and don’t have to always kiss celebs ass.

  15. Rhiley says:

    I believe all of these,including the Aniston which seems pretty redick. You can tell K Stew does not like to dress up. I have seen some of her red carpet interviews lately and she seems to always have some new injury that “forces” her to wear her nasty Chuck Taylors with her gowns.

  16. kira says:

    A-ha–these are so funny. I bet they’re some truth to these…

    When Pitt did Troy, he admitted he was a big, old pot-head–he probably stank like a number of things not just bo.

    Angie’s red dress does look padded in the butt area. Sorry, you ain’t gonna be curvy with padding–just give it up.

    K-Stew–she contradicts herself. She wears the latest cool outfit, but also does the “I’m not really trying too hard to be fashionable” thing. I bet dealing with her can be a headache since she wants it both ways.

    Wow, that Aniston photo–her jaw is white, while the rest of her is spray-tanned? It’s no secret she’s about the hair–she spent $50,000 to have her stylist fix it for a week overseas. Hair must be high on her list of priorities–it certainly isn’t acting. ;-)

  17. emma says:

    Most of these sound like lies and some like the Rob’s feet and Kristen stylist stories are easily disproven.

  18. Kelly says:

    Sparkly fungus feet – that’s some funny sh*t! LOL

    I noticed Aniston’s white jaw too. I just don’t get that – these people have the “best” makeup artists working on them, and THIS is the result? I think it’s that “hi-def” powder – I tried that Make Up For Ever stuff and didn’t like it for that reason. Other stars have had a similar encounter with the White Powderpuff of Doom, though – notably Nicole Kidman. And a few others I’m forgetting.

    THE POINT BEING, it makes me feel that much better about myself with my little dab of tinted moisturizer and cream bronzer. No mistakes!

  19. Jane says:

    Ummmmmmm, there are plenty of pictures of Rob´s bare feet, they are fine, lol.

  20. Flan says:

    Was neutral towards Kstew until she started whining teachers didn’t cater to her always absent ass.

    That’s one of the funniest magazine covers I have seen.

    Too bad they don’t show pics of guys stuffing socks in their pants too.

  21. umm says:

    loll kstew has only had one stylist in all her years in hollywood

    • orly says:

      You do realize that celebs are styled by different stylist for photo shoots and movies sets, right? Not their personal stylist?
      Umm…

      • malia says:

        from what I’ve seen, Kristen can definitely come off nonpersonable and sullen. But I don’t buy that a stylist wouldn’t want to work with her. Not because she’s a fashionista, but because she’s world famous,a nd would be a coveted client consequently.

        And all these “stylist” confessions are all rooted in previously known gossip about anyways about all of these stars.So it’s just as easily to imagine that all these “confessions” are nothing more than the magazine playing with established public perceptions in a way that allows everyone to enjoy taking down celebrities a notch or two.

  22. mln76 says:

    I don’t think I believe most of it or if it’s true it’s a play on the truth. Like Pitt in the desert wearing heavy body armor on set for 15 hrs stunk or Aniston had a 7 o’clock photo shoot so she needed a haircut @ 4 am but I still prefer these harmless and hilarious stories to the usual tab BS.

  23. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    Dang this issue looks entertaining :)

  24. TXCinderella says:

    Both Kristen and Rob look ripe and smelling of old beer and cigarettes. Summit should have sent Kristen to charm school so she’d know how to act in public. She is so awkward.

  25. Bull says:

    Complete Bullcrap (at least with Kristen). Kristen has only had ONE stylist since she’s been in Hollywood…and she has the same one now. Hasn’t let anyone else dress her.

    I’m not surprised this site went with this headline…predictable.

  26. ... says:

    The arrive seems to be referring to general styling (hair, makeup, clothing, etc). You can ve a main stylist but magazines, films often chose their own stylist for an editorial or movie. My husband is in the film industry so this is absolutely plausible. The things I ve heard….

  27. Ari says:

    We have seen Jolie naked plenty of times and she has always had NO hips or waist but definitely had boobs and a slight butt. I don’t believe this (but who knows lol)

  28. malia says:

    obviously Star had a slow gossip week, so what do they do? They let their staff writers think up hilarious soundbytes about celebrities people love to hate that fit in with their public image. Brad’s known for being smelly, Kristen being grumpy, Angelina being underweight. And then everyone gets to feel self-satisfied for thinking they could have written the article themselves — which they could have.

    lol

  29. jb says:

    Kristen Stewart in the commentary for Eclipse on DVD even said how the stylist or someone told her she needed to clean her nails when they did the close up shot of her with her engagement ring on….and they used a hand double in some of it.. so not exactly breaking news. And Jeremy piven, thats like saying tom cruise wears lifts is breaking news..And rob pattinson seems like hygiene is not a priority anyways but that seems like a stretch about his toe nails. And lindsey lohan, stealing?! im shocked.

  30. DarkEmpress says:

    I believe all of it. None of it is really shocking. I do have to defend Brad though, since I loved him in Troy. I am sure he stunk because of his intense fight scenes! That guy was working up a sweat!

  31. almond says:

    It’s nothing earth shattering, but it’s funny. It’s also stuff that any of us could have guessed at. I await the issue which spills really surprising things. Like Sparkle Pants wanting a coconut facial right before every make up session or Pitt being really fussy about his scarves: “Is this blended cotton? Are you making me wear cheese cloth?”

  32. ... says:

    Morticians- the stories from my funeral home embalming days re way better! (ammi right? *Nudge*)

  33. iseepinkelefants says:

    What’s with all these commenters posting “YOU LIE!!!1!” because you know these stars personally right and can vouch that they don’t have fungus feet and bad attitudes?

    ugh Twihards are the worst.

  34. Lisa says:

    How much do you want to bet Star magazine talked to a grand total of ZERO stylists?

    All of this information is based off of pictures of them (Jeremy Piven wearing lifts) and what they are known for in the media (Lindsay known for stealing, Jen known for her hair).

    Then you top that off with some flat out made up stuff that Star magazine thinks its readers want to believe.

    Why some people buy Star magazine is beyond me.