Katie Holmes’ H. Stern jewelry ads: truly sexy or just a topless zombie?

These days, I think most of us have realized that Katie Holmes is much more of a model than an actress. That is, we’re all aware of Katie’s artistic shortcomings unless we just happen to be Tom Cruise, who believes that Katie is “amazing” in all capacities and probably was the midget behind Variety’s decision to name Katie the “Face of the Future in Film” last year. After all, her latest theatrical outings have included such gems as Jack and Jill and Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, both of which underperformed at the box office and featured the same exact robotic actressin’ style familiar to anyone who dared to watch The Kennedys miniseries. In modelling, however, robotic isn’t always a terrible thing. Katie’s already brought her zombie face to an Ann Taylor campaign, and now she’s doing a variation called “topless zombie” for a new H. Stern jewelry ad campaign:

She’s become known for dressing down in recent months, usually going casual in loose jeans and tracksuit bottoms.

But now Katie Holmes has proved that when it comes to being sexy, she can still pull it out the bag.

The 33-year-old actress is seen going topless in a series of sexy and sultry new campaign for jeweller H. Stern.

Showcasing a pretty necklace, and not much else, Katie looks seductively into the camera as her long brown hair blows out around her.

In another shot, mother-of-one Katie is seen writhing around in the sand, advertising a pretty chain bracelet.

Katie is also seen displaying her stunning figure in a sexy black one-piece, going for the wet look with her hair slicked back to show off her model-like bone structure.

While the adverts, Katie’s third campaign for H. Stern, are currently only running in Israel, they are set to hit America this autumn.

[From Daily Mail]

Okay, so she goes sort of topless and her eye makeup looks good here, but I’m still seeing the same trancelike Katie who gets regularly featured in publicity blitzes for Tom’s movies. Quite frankly, these new ads aren’t any sexier than the slutty pumpkin, and that’s saying something. It’s all in the eyes, and Katie’s eyes are quite like those of the undead.

Admittedly, this is the one selection from the campaign that doesn’t look half bad and is sort of lifelike.

In the rest of these ads though, Katie just looks like the Bride of Xenu.

Photos courtesy of H. Stern and HuffPo

 

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69 Responses to “Katie Holmes’ H. Stern jewelry ads: truly sexy or just a topless zombie?”

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  1. Original Chloe says:

    Joey! What happened!
    /sobs

  2. novaraen says:

    Love the necklace in the semi-topless one. :)

    She looks really pretty here…and I’m not a fan at all.

  3. chloe will says:

    she looks gorgeous

    but her life still scares me – she’s part of a cult and there’s little else to say

  4. Liz says:

    I think she looks…good, apart from the second one.

    *runs and hides*

    I’ve never understood the dislike and concern she seems to engender. (But then I also don’t see why she was fired from the Batman films.)

    Sure, her husband is…um, well, he probably is high maintenance. And the religion is…wow, what can I say without receiving the wrath of the CoS? (Serious question.) But the fact that I wouldn’t choose that life is neither here nor there.

    She looks good. She’s not a great actress, but the picture are fine. I’m not sure why a jewellery store would *want* sexy ads – the sessay label seems to have been added by the Daily Mail.

  5. lisa g says:

    those are some floppy baloney tits I tell ya

    • Liz says:

      Wait, you can tell? I’m not seeing much tittay at all, and feel unqualified to make a statement on them.

      • DeE says:

        @ Liz…as respectfully as possible, you sound as if you have taken my remark personally. I was responding to the person claiming KH has bologna floppy boobs and how nature and having children and nursing makes that happen. What I am doing now is breaking it down or actually repeating it a different way since you misinterpret it as a rant against women who don’t want to or can’t conceive/nurse or delivery vaginally. Re-read the statement or maybe this one you will understand a bit better. No high horse for me; I speak from experience as well as having a sister who didn’t nurse because she didn’t want to mess up her boobs and hearing of many others that do such things out of vanity. Shall we not acknowledge that some women choose not to do somethings or even do other things out of vanity, though that is clearly their choice. Shall we not acknowledge that to make fun of a woman’s boobs who has given birth and possibly nursed and that gravity is real and all those affect boobage helps to discourage some from having babies or nursing etc.? I won’t ask you to grow up Liz, just stop thinking everything is an attack. I am not attacking anyone. Peace and goodness gracious, seriously… back atcha.

    • DeE says:

      I can’t tell if they are floppy or not either, but I must say she looks great and does a good job “sexing’ it up. Aren’t floppy tits and scrotums part of biology at some point? If we add to that the fact that tits change when a woman births a child and even more so if she nurses, then are we trying to discourage preganancy and nursing and natural gravity? Only in lala land or Paradise will there be perfection. We are human and these things change. Too many women, when not medically necessary, choosing vanity over nursing child, pushing a child out vaginally or getting pregnant at all. Go on KH, you look awesome, even if your boobs look like potatoes in a sock, like mine do. Even if mine were perky, the same REALITY applies. Natural over plastic and vain any day!

      • Liz says:

        Srsly? This is…something. I’m going to have to respectfully ask that you grow up. Now.

        You managed to turn this into a sanctamonious screed against women who choose not to get pregnant, or have vaginal births, or not to breastfeed.

        There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to squeeze a melon out your nose. And there is nothing wrong with not breastfeeding.

        Our bodies. Our choice. It’s scary how many women believe in this only as long as they like the choices being made. There is nothing morally wrong with plastic surgery, or bottle feeding, or c-sections. Or using a surrogate, or getting botox or not getting pregnant.

        And there’s nothing moral about the opposite either. Sorry, gals, you’re actually going to have to get off your high horses and do something worthy of praise.

        Are people going to get stop sniping women whose choices they don’t like, and acknowledge our rights to our own bodies?

  6. Cathy says:

    I think she looks good in these pictures. She looks mysterious, not like the plain jane she normally looks like when she’s out cruising the red carpet with midgetman.

  7. Mia says:

    I actually think it’s her mouth not her eyes that brings the weirdness to this shoot. Exact same mouth in every single picture. And does that mouth look seductive or sexy? No. She does look pretty and yea that necklace is pretty awesome. So maybe her blank expression is good to show off the jewelry.

  8. brin says:

    She actually looks good here and not totally zonked out.

  9. NYC_girl says:

    I like that ring in the first pic. How many more years are left in her contract? I feel bad for her.

  10. danielle says:

    She looks good. She actually seemed to be having a promising career pre-Cruise. Pieces of April and all that. What happened? Did her acting get drastically worse or was it just her PR that did?

  11. mew says:

    Last two pictures looks like “oh, I have to have a tight hold on my head or it falls off!!” She looks like in drugs. She lookse empty inside.

  12. Nanea says:

    I wonder how much Crazy Cruise paid to H.Stern to employ Robo Bride.

    I mean, they could have used models instead of using Katie. She looks budget, the jewelry looks budget, there’s no charisma.

  13. Roxy750 says:

    These “stars” think we want to see them and how sexy they can be, like Rimes. I mean, it’s a little “vain” don’t you think. Tacky…all these stars who do this from Theron, Jolie, Rimes, they are all so into themselves. Um, no thanks…I’ll pass. Cover up, I mean pulease.–Oh and by the way, anyone can look smokin sexy with Photoshop…It’s a no-brainer

  14. Zigggy says:

    Absolutely beautiful… but such a deadness in the eyes. It’s kinda scary, and I hope that she can come back from it (once her marriage contract is up? But she seems so far gone…) I used to want to look like her, but now I’m glad I look like me- I have a personality at least.

  15. anne_000 says:

    She doesn’t seem to ever have the right expression for modeling. Very amateurish.

  16. stephanie says:

    she doesn’t look like herself, but she looks damn good.

  17. Kim says:

    Zombie. Even with massive photo shopping she isnt sexy in the least.

  18. alibeebee says:

    She’s got the scientology eyes..

  19. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I think she looks hot as hell. I mean the pics aren’t exactly original but she looks incredible. Now if she could only learn to act she’d be Star Material.

  20. dilettante says:

    @ Liz, I thought she was not fired from Batman, but that TC convinced her not to do it.

    • Scarlet Vixen says:

      Yup. Tommie boy thought she was a bigger star than her character in Batman required.

      I find her to be kinda pretty, but there’s no heat–no sex. And her crooked smirky mouth is the same in every. single. picture. I just had a filling repaired today and that’s what my face looked like until the novocaine wore off.

  21. Faxon415 says:

    I miss Katie from the late 90s.She never has been a great actress but there was something about her, something nostalgic and charming. Everyone should rent GO. So good.Come back to us Katie! Please.

  22. Dani says:

    These remind me of why I thought she was the prettiest girl on Dawson’s Creek.

    She looks stunning in these shots. In some of them, she reminds me of Helena Christensen.

  23. NO SH¡T says:

    Sexy? Hell No! She’s a pretty robot

  24. She looks rreally pretty in these pics, but like others have said, a little dead in the eyes.

  25. Paola says:

    Everytime i see her i feel the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake her hard saying ‘Hey! wake up you girl! You’re rich, you married Tom Cruise and yes your daughter is a spoilt brat, but smile sometimes for Christ’s sake!’
    And i wish i could slap her, just for the sake of it, because she has trout’s eyes and she pisses me off.

  26. Jayna says:

    Amazing shots, but miss her old nose.

  27. Deven says:

    She has great bone structure but there is nothing going on behind that face. Dead eyes; no signs of life or brain activity. Is she on life support?

  28. MoMo says:

    Um the necklace pic reminds me of the extras from The Walking Dead, or, say if the character Lori were to get bitten.

  29. rogue says:

    What happened to her brown eyes??

  30. crtb says:

    I think she looks great. I’m not seeing dead eyes, no robots, no Brides of Xenu,
    no floppy tits, her mouth looks fine, she looks very sexy, her eye color is beautiful, her arms are toned, I would buy the jewrly, she looks hot. It seem that people feel the need to say something negative about her and her husband, whether they deserve the comment or not. It is like the is a rule that we have to say mean nasty things about this couple regardless what we are discussing about them: movies, looks, style, relationships, devotion to each other, career, friendships…etc.

    • Snowflake says:

      I think she looks great too. She has beautiful eyes. Personally, I don’t think she looks dead in the eyes. when you have a hubby with a big personality like tc, you can’t really compete. I think she’s just a normal person with really outgoing hubby.

  31. marie says:

    The best I’ve seen her look…sexy gorgeous pics…very artsy

  32. mollie says:

    I’m really, really surprised. She looks fab.

  33. judyjudy says:

    She looks lovely, but I agree with the others that she seems vacant and lobotomized.

  34. Snowpea says:

    Thank goodness she didn’t get out those tree trunk legs…her cankles are legendary…

  35. DeeVine says:

    Never been a fan but she is gorgeous here.

  36. original sandy says:

    katie looks gorgeous here, i never comment on her, credit when it’s due and all that.

  37. Kloops says:

    Tom’s money can’t buy talent. It looks obvious. Without his money and fame her “career” would be over. Although I admit, her modeling is one of the least annoying and offensive things foisted on the public.

  38. Luckylilgem says:

    Joey grew up to be smoldering hot with the help of a plastic surgeon!

  39. Sakyiwaa says:

    Wow. She looks gorgeous… It looks like a shoot Angelina Jolie woulda done back in the 90s. But it’s cool, Katie! ‘Baby steps’ are good! she needs to be more than Tom Cruise’s wife and Suri Cruise’s Mommy :) !

    Go you.

  40. BerMan says:

    Oh , hi Katie okaaay nice pictorials , can you please pass the chips. – Btw keep working at everything and anything to keep yourself busy..and put $$ in your secret bank account. – For that rainy day. – Cough (escape)

  41. whatevs says:

    to look like a zombie alien robot even with this amount of photoshop… well i never felt sorry for her until now actually

  42. Kimberly says:

    don’t you just feel sorry for her.

    her poses are funny as hell, and she’s trying to be sexy . . .

    it’s funny but sad