Shortly after Brangelina’s engagement was announced, every tabloid and celebrity weekly carried various versions of Jennifer Aniston’s reaction to said engagement. By far, one of the my favorite versions was the hyper-melodramatic story in The Enquirer. The Enquirer had Jennifer “collapsing” and then Justin Theroux came in as Jen was sobbing, and they had a huge fight and then Jen made it up to Justin by planting a bunch of stories about them together. Well, the Enquirer ups the ante this week with a story that is so funny, you will literally laugh out loud. Jennifer and Justin have called off their engagement, you see. Because Angelina – specifically, ONLY Angelina – managed to announce the engagement in order to destroy Jennifer Aniston. Oh, and Aniston WILL HAVE HER REVENGE. BY GOD!
Jennifer Aniston has called off her wedding to Justin Theroux – and it’s all Angelina Jolie’s fault!
“This was going to be Jen’s big year for love and happiness,” said an insider. “She and Justin were knee-deep in wedding preparations when Jen got the shattering news that Brad and Angie were announcing their engagement and making plans to wed this year.”
After Aniston’s “collapse” after she heard the news, she and Justin Theroux got into a huge fight.
“At that point, Justin said it would be best if they indefinitely postponed their wedding plans,” continued the insider. “He doesn’t want to be drawn any deeper into the twisted soap opera of Jen, Brad and Angie.”
Meanwhile, Jen feels that Angelina intentionally blind-sided her, said the insider.
“She wholeheartedly believes that Angie engineered the timing of the engagement announcement to Brad to get in another dig. Jen is more furious than heartbroken. She feels like she’s been stabbed in the back all over again, after enduring the pain of having Angie steal her husband seven years ago. Jen and Justin’s marriage would have been THE wedding of the year, but Angie went hijacked Jen’s special moment. Now Jen wants revenge. She wants to get back at Angelina for overshadowing her once again.”
The insider continues: “This year has gone from bad to worse for Jen. She took a $500,000 loss on the sale of two Manhattan apartments after her East Coast relocation with Justin failed. Then their movie didn’t do very well and now her wedding plans have been upended by her archenemy. Angelina better watch her back, because Jen’s making plans to retaliate.”
[From The Enquirer, print edition]
What are Jennifer’s options for “retaliation”? Pregnancy? Eh. I mean, I guess that could happen, and if it did, Jennifer would definitely soak up a lot of attention and Brangelina’s engagement would be the “Number Two” celebrity story. But pregnancy is the obvious choice, and I’d like to think Jennifer (or her people) are smarter than that. What about a series of photo ops with Jennifer and Justin? Go down to Mexico, call the paps and pose in a series of thong bikinis for weeks and weeks. You laugh, but that would totally work too. And it’s less work than a pregnancy too.
Oh, and do people really think like this? “She feels like she’s been stabbed in the back all over again, after enduring the pain of having Angie steal her husband seven years ago. Jen and Justin’s marriage would have been THE wedding of the year, but Angie went hijacked Jen’s special moment.” Let me correct that question – do people outside of high school think like this?
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Written by Kaiser
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