Yesterday, I did a summary of some of the highlights of Oprah Winfrey’s interview with the Family Kardashian-Jenner. As you might imagine, the majority of the interview seems to be with and about Kim, although Khloe and Kourtney were allowed to speak at times. Well, Oprah (or OWN, same difference) released another clip from Oprah’s two-part Famewhore Exclusive, and this one is a doozy. I feel like a lot of people are going to be yelling about this, and… you know what? I think I’m going to have end up defending Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian, in the first of a two-part interview on Oprah’s Next Chapter, said she was “almost 15” when her mother Kris Jenner got her on birth control.
Kim said the parenting decision came as a result of her desire to explore her sexuality with her boyfriend, a family friend.
“When I did want to have sex the first time I was almost 15,” Kim said, adding her liberal mom was open to discussion about the topic, and even got her on birth control.
She continued: “I was like, ‘I think I’m going to, or I want to,’ and she was like, ‘OK, so this is what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna put you on birth control,’ and she was like, really open and honest with me.”
The revelation came as a surprise to the veteran journalist Oprah, who said, “Wow,” before moving onto the next question.
So… Kim was almost 15 when Kris Jenner put her on birth control – I’m assuming Kim means The Pill. And Kim and Kris talked about Kim’s teenage sex life openly and honestly. So… what’s the controversy? Isn’t this the kind of decision that you want a mother and a teenage daughter to make together, without the intervention of anyone else? I think that in this ONE issue, Kris Jenner is completely blameless, and I’d even venture to say that this is an example of Kris being a great mother.
…Of course, critics of this “open and honest, let’s put our teenage daughters on The Pill” parenting method will probably draw a direct correlation between Kim being put on the pill and her sex tape. Right? I’m always so bad at predicting what will irk the anti-birth control league, but I feel like someone is going to make the link – “The Pill = Sex Tape, Famewhoring, Reality Programming”. And I don’t have an answer to that, except to say that I wish more teenage girls had parents who discussed birth control with them in honest and realistic terms, and that The Pill doesn’t have to equal a sex tape.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
Sure 15 is young for sex, BUT a lot of 15-year-olds do have sex. It’s good that she could talk about it with her mom. That is an admirable quality in a relationship. I hope Opera’s ‘wow’ was not one of judgement…
+1
its great that they had fluid communication about sex stuff
Instead of birth control pills she should give her some soap because we all know that Kim is big fan of golden shower.
Yeah, 15 is way too young – but better do birth control than having a child when you are still a child yourself.
I wouldn’t want to have my 15-year-old taking hormones – I don’t think it’s healthy at all. When you are older, it’s okay, but at this age? It’s double-edged!
Unfortunately, the Pill is very frequently prescribed to young teenagers as a way of controlling periods. There may be no other way, actually, than taking hormones to regulate.
Until more information is determined, we’ll never know the actual danger it can cause.
Oprah’s “Wow” was just because she is totally out of touch with the real world-she hasn’t lived in it in so long. She came to my school to do an interview with Gloria Steinem and students about modern feminism and it was clear she had absolutely no clue what modern women’s issues were. She also seemed a little off-balance at being in an academic environment. In the final cut, a good part of the episode is about Steinem’s interior design choices in her expensive Manhattan apartment and the rest was Oprah talking about how the women’s rights movement is over because Gloria won it. I was so disappointed by her in real life.
There is also the promiscuous Hollywood lifestyle factor:
14 and 15 year-olds are already having sex and getting pregnant in middle America. In Hollywood, cesspool of promiscuity, losing one’s virginity at 15 is nothing to blink an eye upon. Kris Jenner definitely took responsibility for her daughter here.
Besides, a baby was so not in her career plans for Kim.
Still don’t get why people do not understand the biological and physiological impacts upon hitting teenage years. It has nothing to do with religion, or whatever an old man wearing a robe, of all things, knows anything about today’s environmental impact on teen hormonal changes!
Maguita, I agree with you a lot of the time, but not here.
“In Hollywood, cesspool of promiscuity,”
Um, tell that to Bristol Palin who got pregnant thousands of miles from Hollywood. Los Angeles has its issues, but teenage sexuality is something that occurs all across our country because that is when humans are flooded with hormones.
I am from small town America, and I now live in the “cesspool” known as Los Angeles, and the fact is kids are the same. They all are curious about sex, and most will do it eventually.
@Tiffany, that’s why I started the sentence with “14 and 15 year-olds are already having sex and getting pregnant in middle America.”
So yes, I agree with you. My point in this case, is that in LA, sex is everything, and everywhere. Much more OPENLY prevalent than in middle America.
Parents cannot stick their heads in the sand and pretend it’s not happening.
But I definitely agree with you that all around, girls are having sex younger and younger, and getting pregnant even MUCH younger than before.
Proof at how much past financial contributions for abstinence programs have worked. Please note sarcastic tone here.
That’s the first sensible thing I’ve heard about this woman. Teenagers are going to have sex when they want to, no matter what, so making sure they know about birth control is your responsibility as a parent.
It seems a bit young for my comfort level but it is realistic for Kim. I’d skip the pill unless she needs it for other reasons (like regulate her cycle or alleviate heavy cycles). I think giving the pill to an immature person just gives them an excuse to skip condoms which will benefit her more thoroughly. She should have got her condoms at Costco and had a discussion about privacy and self respect. But this way she did prevent Kim from pregnancy. Whoopie.
In the heat of the moment a lot of teens won’t use the condoms. Look at Levy Johnson.
That is true. And a damn shame. The heat of the moment laziness translates into big business. Valtrex sales alone are over 1 billion dollars EACH year. And that’s just herpes.
Using condoms is an at-the-moment decision that require the cooperation of the guy – the pill can be taken by the girl no matter what. Since ma couldn’t influence the boyfriend in the moment itself, I think the pill was a sound decision. That’s at least one danger out of the way.
the pill won’t prevent STD’s…it also can’t prevent pregnancy 100%. At 14 a CHILD doesn’t think about the dangers of STD’s at all…that’s why it’s just way too young to be sexually active.
@OK that is true but, unfortunately, the adolescent child often thinks they’re much more mature than they really are and often makes the unwise decision to have sex far too young regardless of what it is told by wiser people. Ignore that aspect of a child and you may well put that child at risk
Condom use should be hammered into girls and boys their whole lives, starting as early as possible. STDs change your life for the worse.
Parenting is something that is learned along the way. Remember the scandal with Kourtney and the underage pictures? Kim isn’t the oldest, so maybe Kris was more prepared/open with Kim at an earlier age.
I completely agree, kids are going to have sex when they feel they are ready, all we as parents can do is give them all the protection availible and hope that they use it. I would rather KNOW my child is having safe sex, than not know if she IS having sex.
Maybe early exposure to ingesting hormones causes one to like say like like every other word.
Lol! Yeah, like, hormones actually do, like, make people want to, like, say “like” so much more than, like, usual.
Ok, on a serious note, I dislike the idea of using hormones on grown adults and strongly dislike the idea of putting teenagers on the pill, but good thinking on teaching about or giving protection to young women. 15 seems about the right age to evaluate future birth control possibilities.
So… good job Kris K? Wow, that one didn’t feel right. 🙂
+1
One of the tedious jobs I have in the wonderful (delusional) world of advertising is transcribing interviews.
If I had to transcribe 30 minutes of Kim speaking, I think my brain would melt. Those ‘likes’ and ‘you know’s can be maddening…
and that high pitch whiny girl thing… ugh! I think I’d need a pitcher of margaritas by the time I was finished.
yeah you wonder starting birth control at 14 and still on it at age 32…that’s a long time to be taking hormones.
I don’t think her mother taught her well. She was 14 and wanted to be put on the pill and her mom probably said “ok” and went ahead and did it. I heard in Kim’s sex tape she doesn’t make ray-j use protection, that is gross, does she not know about STD’s? Especially since she said Ray-J used to cheat on her all the time and she admitted to cheating on him as well.
As a side note, during an episode of their show last season, they had a discussion about condoms on the show and kim stated “mom’s never had sex using a condom in her life”…that’s gross too ! She cheated on her husband so imagine the risk of STD’s there as well. Not a good role model. Also, the fact her daughters know about her sex life is super disgusting…that’s your mother for God’s sake !
She got her on birth control because she new her daughter would become a slut. Also its clear she had cheek implants.
So the fact that my mother put me on it around the same age made me a slut? I’m not sure how that translates… I didn’t have sex until I’d been with my boyfriend for 3 years… and I was 17, almost 18. And I’m still with the same guy today. So clearly, birth control pills are for sluts only?
I come from a town where people are having sex in their EARLY teens. Personally, I had horrible periods and the pill eased some of that, but my mother wasn’t ignorant to how teenagers are- and she wanted back up. It’s completely foolish to think 15 year olds aren’t going to have sex. I didn’t but so many of my peers did. It’s extremely young, but it’s a sad reality.
We are talking about Kim Kardashian becoming sexually active at 14, and later in life, a nasty ho. Not all girls are sluts because they are on birth control. Reading comprehension fail.
Big fan of Rush Limbaugh, I take it?
LMFAO!!!
+1
Sweetie shes saying kim is a slut. Not every teenager on on birth control.. Sheesh
^Shnookums, she is saying that a mother puts her daughter on the pill because she knows she is to become a slut.
No ifs, or big Kardashian butts about it.
I was about to say “Newsflash”, but really, that would be as much a “Newsflash” as the Allied forces landing in Normandy – IN 1944!!
Contraceptive pill and slut go as much hand in hand as The Old Testament and abstinence (what with all the “begetting” and marrying siblings and whatnot).
What is beyond imbecilic though, is not having the talk with your children, leaving it for the local “sky-daddy” preacher to yell at them for having impure thoughts, and then becoming a Meemaw when your child is still at the tender age of 13.
That my dear, not even a common $5 slut would ever commit such a sacrilegiously stupid mistake.
+8,962
…^grateful it wasn’t a +666.
insulting religious values was not needed to enhance your point :/
I’m fine with it @Rosie, we are all allowed a difference of opinion here.
However, it worries me that you see any “religious VALUE” in letting a disconnected from our reality man, even more specifically disconnected from our children’s reality, teach them anything era appropriate about sex and its real consequences.
THAT in my mind has nothing to do with religion, but everything to do with absolute and utter Parental Fail.
@Maguita – is this where I give you the +666?
Nah, you have to wait for me to write “sky-daddy” and “masturbation” in one sentence.
^This one does not count though!!!
I understand your point on proper sex education but just having any kind of religious view does not make one “disconnected” but I won’t argue about religion on a gossip site.
My issue with you original comment was that you seemed to be implying that the current issues teens face when becoming sexually active is because of those who taught sex-ed along with their theological views.
We should acknowledge that the sex issues we have with teenagers are more because: they aren’t educated enough and/or correctly not just by religious people, but by school/peers/counselors or anyone else for that matter.
Not surprised. It takes an experienced Ho to be VERY comfortable with allowing a dude or dudette to take a piss on her or him ON camera. #justsayin
LOL! and I’m so glad she waited till she was 14
Exactly
LOL! And a serious “boyfriend” at 14 is RIDICULOUS! You have your whole life ahead of you to have boyfriends–it’s sad that Kim was encouraged to make such adult decisions for herself at such a young age. It obviously stunted her emotional growth.
I can’t believe I’m actually starting to feel a little sorry for the greedy whore!
^^Thank you. Sad for these girls to have such useless mother.
I also don’t have a problem with this. I think it’s commendable that Kris was open with her daughters- it keeps them safer in the long run. And she made a smart decision in conjunction with her daughter- teens are going to do what they’re going to do, so it’s good that she went into a sexual situation completely informed and protected. My mom, amazing and wonderful, is super Catholic and very strict, and I didn’t have the luxury of a trusted adult to walk me through this. That turned into a crazy exploration sh*-show when I went to college. Looks like Kris anticipated what could happen and decided to step up for her daughter instead.
Still think she’s a pimp and a terrible mother, but not in this particular story.
I am so not a fan of them. But really if more parents stopped being prudes and talk to their children daughters/sons about sex then we would not have all these teen pregnancies. I don’t understand why parents still think if I don’t talk about it with my child then it won’t happen.
The Kardashians are a mess on all levels. But this is not an issue. Boys and Girls need to know how to protect themselves.
Exactly! What would be the better option, tell her to just say no? Because THAT works so well (Bristol Palin, cough cough). Better to teach her how to protect herself. It’s the first normal thing I’ve heard about this family.
Agreed, its sad thats its such a young age, but that is the reality in which we live. its better to talk about and know the facts and be safe than to ignore the problem and then have to deal with far worse, (yes i do believe that having a baby or an std is worse than the actual act of sex) My personal view its better as a parent to prepare your child for this step with all the facts as well as for the emotinal changes that come with having sex.
True story: my college roommate and her sisters were raised by parents who took their fundamentalism seriously when it came to sexual immorality and refused to allow the kids to take sex ed in school while limited sex ed at home to no sex until you’re married. My roommate, who is actually an incredibly intelligent woman lost her virginity her sophomore year of college and, due to the thin walls and her now husband’s reaction to a comment she made after losing her virginity, my other roommate and I knew she had just lost said virginity. We were kind enough to wait for the bf to leave before we asked her what she said to him and she told us she said “that felt good but we can’t d anything more” (his response was “what more is there?”). She had no idea she had “gone all the way” because she really knew nothing about sex other than you were to wait for marriage and it’s how you made babies. Twenty-some odd years later, we still rag on her but she has not made the same mistake with her own children.
On the bright side, since she didn’t realize she was “doing it” she was able to relax and enjoy her first time.
If I put the fact that we are taking about this famewhoring family aside , I will say if you know your child is going to have sex , Regardless of how you feel about it , you should give them all the tools they need to protect themselves but that also includeds information as to why they should try and wait. I say run the gamit of it all, even the STD talk with pictures – trust me that helps lol I hope my daughters can be open and honest with me like that , granted I hope they wait longer than 15 but I know I’m Here to listen. So for the most part Kris did the right thing – ugh after writing that I feel like I should go vomit or something lol. Too early in the morning for any nice Kardashian commenting ….
well, I started taking them at 15, not for the same reason but I can’t judge her on it, seems like the smart thing to do..
And I just threw up in my mouth a little from agreeing with them..
Yep, I was 15 too
Same. I had a boyfriend for a while, plus horrible period pain, and acne. Mom wanted to feel a little more at ease with the whole boyfriend situation, and she’d always been pro-talking about sex. Looking back, I’m actually pretty darn impressed with my mom.
And I hate that I’m agreeing with Kris.
haha yes, I went on it at that age because it cleared my acne right up! I know a lot of girls do the same.
my parents begged me to get on the pill when I was 19. Even from a long distance, they could not handle my PMS any longer and were perfectly fine if that meant I would become sexually active at that point because they’d rather me be having sex and protecting myself from pregnancy than deal with my moodiness.
I lost my virginity when I was 14 so I can assume someone like Kim was probably sexually active when she was young aswell. I think it was a very responsible thing of her mom to do.
+1
Maybe I’m a prude/late bloomer but losing your virginity at 14??
No one is mature enough at that age to make such a monumental decision…
Apparently I’m a prude too. 14 is what, 8th or 9th grade?? That’s crazy young to be having sex.
14 IS young, and sometimes I wish I had waited a couple more years, but it was with my first real boyfriend (who was the same age) and I don’t regret it. It really did feel right at the time.
I won’t encourage my own daughters (if I get any) to do it at that age, mainly because I think my body wasn’t ready and it hurt.
I agree. I was older than most, but I remember how I was at 14. I was watching Dawson’s Creek and listening to Hanson. No way would I have been ready for that!
But I know people mature at different rates..
i agree. to me a 14 yo is still a child, no matter how grown up they feel they are. i would hope that my child would have more pride and respect for herself and not succumb to peer pressure or worse, to pressure from her boyfriend.
kids are surrounded by sex imagery all day long these days, its almost like its the only factor for defining yourself – how sexy you are. the way they dress and act is older than they should be but i guess thats the time we live in.
of course its important to have open communication lines but these also enable a parent to guide the child into a certain direction. instead of “oh ok, heres the pill, have fun” kris couldve tried to have a talk with her about the responsibilities that come with having sex, the emotional consequences etc. but, since kris herself is a whore with no morals i dont find it surprising that this didnt happen.
now kim is whoring herself through the entertainment industry with no self-respect. but hey, different strokes for different people.
It’s not always pride or respect that’s the issue. I didn’t have sex that young, however I come from a town that’s studied because of it’s high level of teen pregnancy. Kids are having sex really young now, and some don’t regret it because they did it on their own terms. I think it’s ignorant to think that the only way a 14 year old girl would have sex at that age is if she was pressured into it.
There are a lot of parents who believe their little angel of a daughter would never make that decision on her own, but some do.
That’s exactly it though – you said “no matter how grown up they feel they are”. Looking back when you’re in your 20s or 30s, obviously you are able to see that you are still a child at 14. However, when you’re 14, you feel like you are so grown up and are capable of making grown up decisions. Many teens feel like they are old enough and it’s not like you can take it back when you are older and realize how young and immature you actually were back then.
My useless older brother put both his girls on BC at the same time when they were 14 and 15. None of this respect your body and yourself crap from him. Just a ‘don’t get pregnant’. Their mom is an alcoholic so I stepped in again for them. I love my niece’s with all my heart. It hurts to see how they get treated, ignored by one parent and ridiculed by the other. I want only the best for them. My brother is a complete narcissist and everyone, even his children, come after him. I asked my brother if he had considered what he would do if he ended up holding his oldest’s hand while she died from a STD in a hospice somewhere. (I was really angry at him)
I was a month away from turning 17 and I feel like THAT was too young lol
Of course, I’m 37 now so hindsight and all that…..
Fourteen is too young… for me and my family. But I’m not about to call another girl a slut or her mother irresponsible for such a personal decision. To each their own.
Unless the girl and mother in question are Kardashians. Then they’re total Ksluts and Kwhores. Because I hate them and will insult them for any reason possible.
Does that make sense?
I agree menlisa, 14 is way too young to be having sex. It’s been proven that the part of a person’s brain that processes reasoning isn’t fully developed until your early 20s. A 14 year old definitely cannot make a sound choice when it comes to something as emotionally and physically confusing as sex. I mean, I do agree with Kris Jenner and talking to your kids about sex early, and if birth control was the only option, then I get that. But what about talking to your kid about waiting? Like going through a list of pros and cons. Yes, some kids will have sex regardless, but I still think 14 is too young to be doing something so ADULT. Why do some kids have to rush things?
I have a cousin who started having sex when she was 13-14, she’s 19 now. She goes through men like panties, literally. I kind of think that if she had waited, if her mother actually had the balls to talk to her about the consequences of sex, she might not be so promiscuous now, and might have some self respect and not constantly need a man in her life to make her feel good.
I was halfway to 15 before I even got my period.
I agree with Kris Jenner on this. I was still playing with Barbies at 15. My daughter was more interested in Beanie Babies than boys until she was 14. Maybe we were just late bloomers.
I do recall having many conversations with my daughter starting at age 13 about both the emotional aspects of sex and physical aspects of sex. I also told her when she felt she was ready I would take her to the doctor for an exam and birth control options.
It wasn’t until she was 17 that she took me up on the offer though.
I think that’s awesome Naya. It would have been easy to put off having THE conversation with a ‘late bloomer’, but having the courage to talk about it anyway is probably why she was comfortable talking to you when she was ready.
I’m with you. I waited until quite a bit older than 14 and didn’t feel as if I missed out by not doing it earlier. I don’t want my daughter to start having sex at that age. I call BS on Kim’s version of this “story”. What 14-year old uses or thinks of the term “exploring my sexuality” AND the specific reference to a “family friend” is suss….as if she’s somehow justifying it. I’d laugh if this story gains traction and the poor chap is outed and it turns out not to be family-friend connected. Watch this space.
I was 19 when I lost my virginity. I went to a college in the bible belt and all the “good girls” there (who were telling their parents they were still virgins) thought it was bizarre that anyone would still be a virgin after the age 15 (and 15 was considered a late bloomer for them)
ITA it’s too young but it’s happening. My niece started only 2 months after she turned 14, though I place the blame squarely on her parents and their lack of parenting. Even now with the evidence of her activities in front of them my brother still won’t put her on BC.
Forgive me but I never thought I would ever think or say this but I would have bee tempted to put that one on birth control at twelve.
Yeah that’s what I thought. I’d have started her at 12.
Didn’t they tell us this months ago already? The Kardashians seem to be recycling stories.
Too bad there wasn’t a pill to keep her from wearing that green dress.
14 is way too young to have sex, but it’s also way too young to become a mom. If my daughter came to me like that, her little behind would go straight on the pill as well. Kids will do what they want, regardless of how mom or dad feels about it. As parents, it’s our job to protect our children. If a pill and condoms are what it takes, so be it.
Exactly. If my (someday) 14 year old daughter comes to me and says “I’m thinking about having sex”, telling her no because I think she’s too young is not going to stop her from having sex. You have to put them on the pill at that point, and hope that they’ll continue to be as open with you.
Well if you’re going to whore your children out, you need to take precautions.
What kind of mother raises a daughter to want to have sex at 14!? I don’t give kudos to bad parents. Yeah, they “had the birth control talk”, blah blah. How about you teach your children about not having sex before they’re legally allowed to. Get her a hobby instead of boys for god sake!
+1
Really? You don’t think kids have sex at 14 on their very own? I’m sorry, but I think it is absolutely asinine to act as if young people aren’t going to have sex because of society’s arbitrary designation of when one is an adult. It’s called biology. Even though we have determined that it is inappropriate to become a parent at such a young age, our bodies say differently. You can throw all the bibles and legal codes you want at them, but teens and even tweens are going to have sexual feelings and urges. Instead of burying our heads in the sand or screaming about “morality” maybe we should try having frank, open, honest dialog about sex when the kid is ready, and not when we say they should be.
Well, 14 y.o. bodies may be biologically mature for procreation and therefore sex, but the human brain actually only fully develops at 25 y.o., so… 18 seems like a good in-between compromise 🙂
Society may be arbitrary, but sometimes it is so with cause (now, don’t yell at me, I don’t necessarily believe one needs to wait till 18; I’m just debating here 😀 ).
Co-sign, fabgrrl!
Abstinence works real well. Ask the Palins
Canadian sexual consent code:
Youth ages 14-15 can consent to sexual activity with someone who is up to four years older. For example, a 14 year old can have sex with a 19 year old but not a 20 year old. A person between the ages of 12 and 13 can only give consent if the other person is no more than two years older than the person giving consent: for example, a 12 year old can consent to sexual activity with someone who is age 14, but not age 15. Youth between the ages of 12-15 can only consent to sexual activity as long as the other person is also of the age of consent, not in a position of trust or authority, and the sexual activity is not considered sexual exploitation. A child under age 12 can never give legal consent to sexual activity.
So 18 isn’t the legal age for everyone, ladies.
Morality has nothing to do with it. When a child has sex there are psychological ramifications. Pretend all you want, but study after study has shown that premature sexual activity leads to a variety of psychological dysfunctions. Just because one’s body “tells them different” does not mean the body should rule the mind. You need to do some research honey. You’re opinions are antiquated.
Wow, Cookie. It must feel so great to be right all the time, huh?
I have two theories on your response. 1) You’re not a mom or 2) You’re delusional about the way your children function. You are obviously someone’s child, so I am still a bit confused on how you think this is a legitimate line of thinking, but we’ll assume, for your argument’s sake, that you were a perfect duplicate of your parents’ morals, values, and choices.
My parents raised me to be a devout Christian. No sex before marriage was a huge part of that. It was their mantra-sex before marriage is bad. Sex after marriage-great. It was 100% useless. I love my parents, and they were great about everything else and really pushed me to be the best and to explore all my talents, but that particular part of my upbringing completely failed me. Instead of open, encouraging discussions, it was clear that there was only one right response-their way. It only encouraged a fascination with sex and created an environment were I was secretive and sneaky. I was just lucky that my Ivy League bound b/f and I were so paranoid about pregnancy that we were doubling up on methods.
ETA-For the record, after reading some other comments on here, it had not a d*mn thing to do with my self-respect or self-worth. I was just interested and hormonal, like most teens.
She was fourteen, not fifteen. She stutters and goes almost fifteen, which is probably code for fourteen and a half. What concerned me most was the ease with which Kris said we’ll get you on birth control as the answer. There was no long discussion about the emotional ramifications about sex, about boys and being so testosterone driven they want to nail anything. A close relative of mine got pregnant at a few months from 16, so birth control is better than not. But if I had a daughter 14, her father and me would have had way more discussion first at 14 with her than just saying, cool, let’s get you on birth control like Kris did.
Exactly! I agree with everything you just said.
Thanks, Shelly. I have a neighbor whose daughter at 16 was having sex throughout highschool with her boyfriend. So it wasn’t anything awful. She was on birth control. After high school, she now broken up with him but still friendly stopped by to visit. She told me she regretted having sex at 16 because she became so emotionally wrapped up in the relationship and gave up sports, etc, whereas he gave up none of his extracurricular school activities and stayed more well-rounded in school than her. She now says she wishes she had waited towards the last semester of 12th grade to have sex with him,
+1
Don’t forget she was allowed to socialize with Paris Hilton. I’m sure there was a lot of supervision going on there.
Jayna, you make such a good point. So many kids who are having sex at a young age (14-17ish) and are in such “serious” relationships often give up many things – relationship with their close friends and family, extra curricular activities, studying and homework etc. Several of my friends did when we were growing up, and they missed out on so much because they were putting all their focus on this one person. I’m glad I waited to have sex until I was an actualy adult (early 20s for me). I was able to focus on music lessons when I was a kid, find a job, go to university, and then was emotionally mature enough to be in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend.
You don’t know exactly what was said in the conversation. They very well could have had the conversation about the emotional ramifications etc., but because Kim was relaying the story, she just cut straight to the crux of the story rather than go into detail about exactly what was discussed. We also don’t know how the interview was edited – there could have been a lot more said that was cut out. I hate defending the Kardashians, but I just don’t think people should make assumptions about exactly how the conversation went when we have no idea.
I would be interested to know if Kris allowed Kim’s father to have an opinion or if she kept if from him. I can’t see a dad that calmly discussing his 14 y/o daughter having sex.
Anything to stop them from reproducing is fine by me.
People can say whatever they want about Kris, but she does have open and honest relationships with her children, which is a good thing. I am not sure how I personally feel about her allowing a 14-year-old Kim to go on the pill, though. I am by no means a preacher of abstinence, I just think 14 is a little too young, and definitely too young to be calling the shots and even thinking about doing something as emotionally heavy as sex. I thought about sex at that age, but I knew I would be killed by my parents if I did that and they found out, so I did not even cross that line. If she was going to do it, it is better she was on birth control, but I still feel like it was too young and maybe Kris could have tried to avert her from making such a “grown up” choice.
I’m not sure their relationship was that open – she was married for a year or so before either of her parents found out.
Maybe I’m old school but 15 is a little too young for this. Your teenage years should be about learning about yourself the individual & not sex. Besides early sex puts girls at a much higher risk of Cervical cancer. Smdh..
I will say (and this makes me gag to agree with this family) I do admire a family relationship where kids feel comfortable talking to their parents about this stuff. Parents and teens should be talking to each other about sex, school, life whatever. Parents should be parents first, but having trusted communication and a healthy relationship between child and parent is a good thing.
I had that talk at 12-when I got my first period- because my mom and dad both said “here are the new possible repercussion of your actions. wait til you get married. boys who don’t want to wait for you to be ready, don’t really want to be in a relationship with you. Wait til you get married. But if not, you can come talk to your mother and we will go get you birth control. Because you are not having a baby at 15 young lady. Wait til you get married”
I ended up on BC at 16 to help with the horrible PMS cramping. I was lucky enough to have my mom go with me instead of friends who had to sneak off on their own.
There are a lot of young people having sex younger than 15 years old. I don’t see the big deal about this. I would rather talk to my teenager and if needed make sure that she has birth control, than to have her pregnant.
Gah!
I hate when these people do something I agree with. But that’s a great testament to a good family relationship. I hope my kids feel as comfortable with me when the time comes.
I also hate that I somehow like Kim & Kanye better as a couple… and I know this is counterintuitive, but it seems *gasp* genuine.
I totally agree with you…this is the responsible decision to make. I went on bc because of acne, and 1.5 years later when it was used for other things, I was grateful that my parents were open about it. Turns out, I wasn’t a teen mom…always a plus!
I guess I’m not the norm, but I didn’t have sex til I was 19 -20 years old. My mother would have slapped me silly if I told her I was ready for sex at age 14. We did talk about sex and she said I should wait til I was older and more mature to handle adult situations. She said having sex as a teenager is not ideal because there would be heartbreak and that a child should not be dealing with such mature-adult situations yet. A child is not emotionally ready to cope with sex and all that comes with it ( pregnancy, stds, heartbreak, etc). I totally understood and my boyfriends were respectful. I hope that my daughter waits too. I hope I can make the same impact regarding the consequences as my mother did for me.
That’s how it was with my mom. My question is when these girls who had sex at 14 were allowed to date. The parents surely allowed these young girls to date and spend time alone together. There are always exceptions but before the giant leap of sex there is the “3 bases” that come first. If your 14 y/o cannot date and only hangs out with guys in groups, the sex step is a lot harder to reach. I’m sure people are going to argue with me but I doubt many teenagers had (consensual) sex the very first time they kissed a boy, did some light making out. Unless you have a young teenager constantly lying and sneaking out the window, I would think their parents should know where they are and with whom they’re with.
I’m also curious how the age groups are trending. When I was 14 I didn’t know anyone close to having sex. I wonder if those posting here that say sex that young is no big deal are much younger themselves. The older I get the more I realize that a 14 y/o is still such a child.
Ug, Kris Jenner acting like a responsible, intelligent, loving parent. I think my head just exploded.
Kim’s face looks ROUGH in that pic where Kanye’s hugging her.
I recently had a really heated discussion with my partner because I want to put my teenage daughters on birth control now that they are both old enough to get pregnant. I don’t really understand the point of view that giving them the pill will cause them to go out and have sex all over the place. I think that it’s a good thing.
Exactly. +1 or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
Shouldn’t she have consulted a doctor before putting her on pills? Fifteen is really young to be on pills. It’s commending that Kim was able to talk to her mom about sex as a teenager, but how about using condoms instead of pills? Also, how about talk her out of having sex before 18? This can be tough but not impossible.
Who says they didn’t go to a doctor?
Plus, condoms require a couple of steps: 1) actually having the things when you want them, 2) an at-the-time decision to use them in a moment where teenage hormones are raging, 3) cooperation of a teenage boy who doesn’t have much to gain because it’s not him who’d face the reprecussions.
Makes sense to go on the pill so at least that aspect is covered.
As for talking kids into waiting until they are 18 when they have a steady partner and the hormones are raging – for real? Does that ever work?
Of course, they may have consulted with a doctor. I didn’t say they did not, I was curious whether or not they took that step. Having said that, I don’t see why it’s impossible to talk to your teenage child out of having sex at 14. Parents don’t have to scare them but parents can make them understand the emotional ramifications of sexual awakening at a young age. Isn’t it just too easy to say, I put my daughter on BC but kudos to me for being an approachable parent? It has to be both – approachable and talking children out of having sex at 14. It cannot be one for the other. Why is it so difficult to get them interested in a hobby? From my own experience, I was worried about school, homework, stupid issues with girlfriends, shopping etc. Plus I was scared of my parents and frankly, I did not think of sex when I was 14-15. I will not say that’s how it should be for everyone. I however do believe that there can be other ways out than just accepting the fact the your child has decided to have sex at 14-15 and put them on BC. I know for sure the emotional consequences of early sexual awakening. My sister had a steady boyfriend when she was 16 and the things that happened between them left her scarred. Maybe that was another reason why I waited until I was 24.
Agreed. I think a dual approach from a parent and doctor is very effective. I realize that kids will do what they want to and a preemptive strike is cautious but that point is moot when the kid doesn’t take the pill every day or wear the condom each time. I tried to tally up all of the children that I know who were conceived while their Mom was on the pill but didn’t take it regularly. I lost count. Doctors can explain the scientific angle and parents can be more practical and attempt to appeal to their logic and individual maturity. Beyond that it’s up to the kids. STDs are no joke and as a parent I worry about teen pregnancy but it’s the cervical cancer that I really lose sleep over. Conversation matters and Condoms are king. Period.
She was 14 not 15. That is waaaaaaaay to young. It’s also considered rape. Why not teach your daughter to value herself in other ways beside her sexuality. It’s no wonder she is the way she is. I see nothing admirable allowing your 14 child to have sex. It’s lazy parenting letting Kim do what she wants. Disgusting. Bin shocked how many people think its ok or +1.
As if any amount of parental control has kept teens from having sex. Nothing up to and including the threat of eternal damnation has kept teenagers (or anyone, for that matter) out of each others’ pants at any point in history. By all means educate them, empower them to say no and encourage them to do other things before sex, but I won’t delude myself that any amount of strictness could keep my daughter from screwing around in ways that could get her pregnant. I’d consider myself lucky if she trusted me enough to ask for birth control before heading down that road.
You know, LOTS of girls in my high school were on birth control at 15. It wasn’t weird, and the less weird it is, the more people do it. We lived in a middle class urban area where parents often could and would provide it, and where it was easy enough to get on your own if they refused. Sex was not really stigmatized, but unprotected sex was. Also, just because you’re on the pill doesn’t mean you’re having sex- it just means you’re protected from getting pregnant when you do. Sex is like a bowl of spaghetti in front of your teen; giving someone a fork doesn’t mean they’ve got to eat it, but it means if they do, they’ll make less of a mess.
And you know what we DIDN’T have in my high school that everywhere else in America seems to have in abundance? Pregnant teenagers!!! That seems to be the one thing my hometown got right.
Maybe I’m a late Bloomer but, damn I was not even thinking about sex when I was in my early teen years. That’s way too young to have sex.
Mommy was amazed and proud of her career ambitions.. Little Kim wanted her fame-ho tiara early, to hell with disease and ruining her health and she is underage, her wishes must be granted..
Every child is blessed at birth with a special gift. She is predisposed to have certain likes and dislikes. There is something she is good at. Children have particular interests. It may be singing, playing a musical instrument, drawing, math or sports. They have an inner drive to explore and learn. They are self motivated to accomplish personal goals. Think about a child just learning to walk. He makes numerous attempts, fails quite a few times but does not give up. It takes a lot of patience and effort to finally learn to walk. This “I can” attitude, this urge to keep on trying comes from somewhere within.
Perseverance is a natural quality in all of us but as we grow older this early enthusiasm, ability to focus and the inner motivation to get it right, fades. However as a parent or a teacher we can prevent our children from giving up on their passions, from losing interest in what they love to do. If you look at the successful people of all times from Thomas A. Edison to Bill Gates you will notice that they did their thing because they love doing it and they didn’t give up until they achieved what they wanted.
Success = Passion + Perseverance
I still remember when i was in grade 8 so 15ish and we had a game in health class about std’s. Basically we all got little bags with a condom inside it and for the week we had to keep it with us, and at any time during the day some class mates would ask you, are you being safe today? and you had to show them the condom. If you didnt have it, each person ‘had’ a std and would ‘give it to you’ and at the end of the week it showed how fast something could spread among a class. It was a fun game and it did make us talk about the repercussions of unsafe sex. But try explaining that condom in your bag to your super strict catholic born-in Italy father…ha. (another doozy-in that class there were only 3 of us that were still virgins) like it or not teens have sex
We got condoms in sex ed too, most of them were used as water ballons. Real mature.
I lost my virginity in my first long term romantic relationship when I was 16. At the time, my mother was not comfortable with my sexuality and basicly said she “didn’t want to know about it”. I took precautions behind her back and fortunately never got pregnant.
With my daughter I will be more open and realistic. Above all I want to teach her about trust and respect. Between us, and the men in her life.
Does it really matter if 15 is too young yes or no? I think that’s just opinion and in the end, an opinion isn’t going to stop your child from not having sex and not getting knocked up.
It’s unfair since parents have no say in that important decision BUT they do have a hand in protecting their child in this rite of passage (I can use that concept right?) and in the end, that’s what matters.
Considering these days children are having sex and getting pregnant at even 12 and earlier, I say give them birth control and advice and talk a lot and just hope that they listen and make the responsible decision.
You have to have nerves of steel to raise children in this society. I don’t know how some parents do it.
You are right on; it doesn’t matter if we think 14/15/16/17 is too young, it matters whether or not they have decided to do it. All we can really do is help them protect themselves.
I completely agree.
I don’t care what you guys are saying but 14 or 15 is WAYYYYYY too young for sex.
Can’t believe I’m saying this but Kris did the right thing by putting Kim on BC. BUT! 14 is far too young to have sex. Kris should have instilled a sense of self-respect and self esteem in these girls because then they wouldn’t be interested in sex at 14 years old. Kris Jenner is a total whore so her children were eager to “explore their sexuality” earlier than most well adjusted children. I personally had sex for the first time at 19 years (though I’m sure I would have been ready at 17 or 18 but not 14) with my boyfriend who is now my husband. I never had to have my parents “put me on” birth control because I wasn’t trying to have sex so early that I couldn’t get it myself.
I dont believe in abstinence and if you child approaches you and asks for birth control, DEFINITELY give it to them. That being said, I think Kris Jenner raised the girls to find their worth in the attention of men, ie: sex and money. That is why Kim started having sex so early and that is why she is a mega-slut today. That is also why Kourtney stays with a man who is so ugly on the inside that he would shove a $100 dollar bill in the mouth of someone from the “service class” (not to mention he is an arrogant loser).
I don’t see it as solely a matter of self respect. Kids that age have hormones rushing too- it’s not just guys.
People seem to think that girls are completely lacking of respect or pride to have sex… it’s kind of sad to think that so many people believe that girls need to be pressured, or have bad examples to want to have sex young. Yes, some people have terrible examples and have sex because of that, but that’s not always the case.
I’m not saying they should be having sex at that age, but you have to open your eyes to what’s going on. I’m not aiming that remark at you Jess, just people as a whole.
+1
I’m so sick of all this “I had too much self-respect to have sex at such an early age” BS! For many girls and women sex is fun, it’s a part of a normal healthy life and not something dirty and horrible that is forced on them by evil horny guys. It’s something they enjoy.
+1 all of this “I had to much self respect for myself” stuff is just teenage slut shaming. Which being 14, thinking you are a adult, being hormonal, and having sex with you girl/boyfriend doesn’t make any teenager a slut. That goes for the boys to
You can tell your teenage child not to do something, you can smack them if they talk to you about it (which BTW, way to teach your child they can’t trust you), you can lock them in their room every weekend-teenagers are notorious for thinking they know best and will find a way to do what they want.
Hindsight is 20/20, plenty of 14 year olds think they were mature enough to have sex at the time. Adults can try to talk sense into them, but see above.
Yes but now you’re talking about the ideal and that is a girl who is mature enough to have sex with somebody she knows for a while. That would mean they are equals and there would be no disrespect there.
However, seeing as there are a lot (not every one of them of course) of girls who want to just “get rid” of their virginity as if it is something shameful and childish, it would be easy for “bad boys” or just horny guys to persuade them to do it and the girls being horny themselves and/or desperate go along with it to then being dropped immediately which is not fun for the girl obviously. A lot of girls do it too because they think they are going to be “adults”.
I was one of those girls with umh early development so I know when guys from school wanted to get with me even though they did not know me that well or certainly not well enough to have sex, it was just to take advantage of me and I had too much self respect and knowledge to just give it away to the first guy that came along. And I was 13 when that started.
I would totally include ‘respect’ when talking about sex with teenagers.
Yeah, because women (and girls) can’t actually ever want or enjoy sex, all girls who are sexually active must have such low self esteem they can be pressured in to it? Come on.
For a lot of people 14 is way too young. For some it’s just fine.
People are different.
Yes, I waited until much older, but to say that a 14 year old girl shouldn’t have sexual feelings is silly. Maybe I was just a little perv or something, lol.
As I wrote further down, me and my now husband got together at 13 (and now with the risk of moving in to TMI-land)and I felt ready for sex way before him, and we waited until he was ready (at 15). And I think I have quite a healthy self esteem, and don’t consider myself very sexually adventurous.
But yeah, we’re pretty brain washed with the whole “girls/women don’t really want to have sex, like, ever, and those who do are sluts and whores, obviously”
Umm no one said 14 year olds don’t/shouldnt have sexual feelings…
Teenagers are going to have sex whenever and wherever they can, no matter what the parents say. So better to have them on birth control then having a pregnant teenager on your hands.
God, I just got a little barf taste in my mouth for agreeing on something with Kris Kuntrashian. Ewww time to go rinse my mouth out.
14 is way to young to be put on birth control, and to be having sex. No offense to anyone on here. Some girls still haven’t gotten their periods at 15! Kim is such trash, she probably wasn’t really interested in sex. I bet Kris told her early on that sex is a way to control a man, so naturally Kim would do that
I agree!
It’s great that as a 14-year-old, Kim had the sort of relationship with her mom where she could discuss sex, and that she and her mom could make a responsible choice. However, one would hope there was a little bit of “it’s okay to NOT have sex at 14 and to wait a while” in there, too. I mean, I certainly wasn’t ready for sex at 14. I hadn’t even gotten my period yet!
Probably the only thing I’m not mad at KJ about is her decision to put KK on birth control. It’s probably the most responsible decision she has ever made.
As much as I despise the Kardashian Klan and their famewhore pimp, she made the right decision. That decision was hopefully accompanied by several discussions about the physical and emotional repercussions of sex, but still. Helping your child understand, and prevent, long-term consequences from sexual activity is not much different than helping them understand that drinking and driving could lead to a DUI on your record or the end of your life, or that if you handle a gun, you could injure or kill someone. Teaching your child about long-term consequences is PARENTING. And for all we can say about Kris Jenner…she made a parental decision.
Sigh. It’s too bad Kris Jenner’s mother didn’t get Kris sterilized. Could have nipped that Kardashian menace in the bud.
Yes, I am mean today.
The problem here is TMI.
Wow, they actually look like a real couple in this picture, instead of the PR famewhore vibe they usually have going on: http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/FFN_CHP_KimKanye_Exc_061712_9197576.jpg
I commend her mom for not using the bs excuse of putting her daughter on the pill to control “cramping” or for the other bs excuse other parents use of “acne”. That is just the excuse liberal parents use to get their child on birth control. Now, I am not opposed to birth control and if you are going to have sex you should be on it, but why the heck was her mom letting her be around her boyfriend unsupervised at that age? That is the issue I have, I think 14-15 is too young. I would prefer my daughter to wait until college, but I will be open with her. I mean look at how this broad has turned out? Two failed marriages, one as a teen and one as a full-blown adult. Looks like they should have been focusing on other things rather than sex as a child.
Um..no it’s not a excuse. I used to have cramps that were at stage 1 of labor pains. As in that’s what the ER doctors always thought whenever I went to the ER. My doctor actually recommended it as a course of treatment. I was also at a high risk level for cysts, and BC does alot to help that as well. Plenty of teenage girls have cramps that are that severe if not worse, and so lumping all parents into that is just lazy.
The AMA and other doctors recommend it for plenty of young women who have issue with acne and severe cramping. It can also help with cysts and help prevent endometriosis.
If we are going to share:
I took the pill at 17 after years of unbearable cramps and a period that came every three months or so (at the most unfortunate moments). Add a crazy grandma that because of those odd periods thought I was pregnant at least 3 times a year (I should be having 9 babies by now according to her unsympathic logic).
The pill saved me and at 22 I am still not having sex so no I does not always need to be an excuse.
I know there are certain people who have severe cramping, I was just pointing out that I think many use that as an excuse. I still stand by my statement that parents use that excuse to get their daughter’s on the pill and if it keeps them from getting pregnant so be it, maybe many of them aren’t comfortable with an open and frank discussion like the kartrashian klan. I still think it is bs.
Why am I NOT suprised….Kris probably gave her BJ lessons too. You know to keep it “honest and open”. *eye roll*
I don’t know, from the way kim answered the question, it kind of seemed like she was lying, like the real age was even younger. I remember Khloe saying on an episode of their show when Kylie asked Khloe “how old was kim when she lost her virginity?”…khloe answered “Kim will lie, she will never tell anyone, but she was very very young, I know that”.
I’m shocked Oprah asked her that question, it’s VERY personal and I wouldn’t blame Kim if she didn’t want to answer it.
I think her mom had no choice but to put her on the pill when Kim ASKED to be put on it. Kim had her first boyfriend at age 12 which is ridiculously young. I was still playing with barbie’s at that age.
Bad parenting. What 12-year-old is allowed to have a real boyfriend? She said at 14 the guy she wanted to have sex with was a longtime boyfriend. She was put in that position by her parents. That boy would be gone and I would redirect her energy at 14 — or at least try. That’s where a strong father figure comes into it – not Kris Jenner, no discussion, just you go girl, here’s the pill.
I had sex at 14 and got pregnant not too many years later. My parents never really addressed sex the way they should have, assuming that school would teach me. School barely teaches teens anything about sex.
I’m not saying Kris was wrongwrongwrong, but it seems like she perhaps skipped the part where you talk with your teenage daughter about the potential consequences of sex (STDs, emotional trauma from the guy turning out to be a douche, etc.) I got the impression that Kim told Kris “I want the Pill” and Kris just signed her up for it without saying “Are you SURE you’ve thought this through? Let’s discuss allllll the potential consequences”.
Also, I kind of think Kim going on BC at such a young age is really the result of OTHER bad parenting choice Kris made, like completely failing to model responsible adult behavior. If she’d been a more responsible parent in general, she probably wouldn’t have had to field this question.
Agreed. In other scenarios, I would try to see from their perspective, even though the decision would be completely wrong for me and mine. I would never slut shame or bad-parent shame a girl or her mother for this in that scenario.
In THIS scenario, though… I mean, they’re effing Kardashians. No “benefit of the doubt” for them.
Am I the only one whose mother scared her out of having sex until they were old enough to realize that the scare tactics were phony?
My mother convinced me that if I had sex, my father would know, because all fathers could look at their daughters and tell. Like, they had some “ZOMG CHERRY. POPPED.” radar. She also told me that boys carried diseases that didn’t affect them but killed girls instantly. (I assume she took a WebMD description of HPV and just ran with it.)
(Kris, that’s called mothering, BTW. If you’re reading.)
Also, I don’t know if anyone watched the WHOLE Oprah thing… but I was squirming uncomfortably during Kris’ portion. Uncle OJ and Aunt Nicole…
You heinous, heinous woman. Some things should be kept to yourself. Is anything sacred to you?
That’s called lying, not mothering.
Exactly!!!!!! I was too scared as well. And when I was ready – at 18 btw she helped me get birth control. I had chances but waited. If u had sex at 14 and think its ok and are applauding your mom then WOW! Enabling your child to spread her legs when it’s iLLEGAL is appalling.
I could care less the argument oh my mom prevented me from getting pregnant. Your mom toOk the easy way out for HER sake instead of installing some self respect. B
Why does having sex at 14, when in a loving longterm relationship, equal no self respect?
Way to go with the slut shaming here. God forbid that women or girls have sex because they enjoy it.
Anne De Vries– Do you think we should celebrate the sexuality of children? What if she had been 12 and asked her mom for BC, would that be ok? What about 9? Why is 14 much different? I think it is commendable for families to try to delay their daughters having sex (but obviously provide birth control if the daughter just CANNOT WAIT for some reason). If she comes to you at 14 wanting to get on BC then I think it’s too late to teach her to respect herself and wait until she is in a loving and mature relationship (I don’t believe a 14 year old child can be in a loving and mature relationship. Have you met any 14 year olds?)
14 is too young, too childish, and Kris dropped the ball with her girls and look how they turned out.
It is entirely dependent on the country and state you are in to determine legality of the issue. There is no all encompassing judiciary edict about sex. In most places, minors over a certain age (let’s give it the arbitrary age of 12/13) are legally allowed to engage in sexual activity with other minors, within a specific age gap, like 4 years difference between the minors. As for statutory rape, from what I understand of my states laws, there can be no more than a two year age gap between a consenting minor and legal adult to engage in sex, like 16 and 18 or 17 and 19 for sexual activity to not be considered statutory rape with adults and minors. Everyone needs to stop screaming about legality issues and projecting the understanding they have on everyone else. Maybe that’s illegal where you live, but most other places I have been or have known people from tell me basically the same laws I know. They were different everywhere.
I think it is commendable for families to try to delay their daughters having sex
And what about their boys? Or is this entirely the responsibility of girls? And just how long are they supposed to wait? We need an exact age here, because as we all know, everyone is exactly precisely the same, has the same desires, matures at the same rate, etc.
And what precisely is okay — kissing? Tongue yes/no? Above the waist only? Mutual masturbation? Oral sex? Dry humping? Sex toys? Let’s get everything down in black and white. We’d better have all this down pat if we’re going to know when and how hard to clutch our pearls when we stick our noses into other people’s sex lives.
Emily– we’re talking about a girl (Kim K) and her mother’s attitude about appropriate sexual behavior in her kids. So…yeah I’m going to talk about girls and not boys because Kim K is a girl, try and keep up!
@jess what about the boys? Or is it okay for them if they are with those slutty 14 year old girls who trapped them? They can always marry the pure girls late in live /sarcasm
Teaching your children to do something (and this applies to everything) is all well and good, but we all know that as teenagers we pushed boundaries. Do I think a 14 year old is ready? No. Do I think a 14 year old is going to think they are ready regardless of what mom and dad teach them? yes. Personally, I’d rather have my daughter feel comfortable talking to me and asking my opinion than sneaking around behind my back to get in trouble. I can tell her it’s not allowed and not a good idea, but you can only control another human being so much. Short of boarding school, and those places weren’t the best either.
Anne de Vries –
The words “fourteen” and “loving long-term relationship” are comical to combine. The melodrama of a 14 y/o girl in most cases is not ready to be in a committed, loving, long-term relationship. I don’t mean to insult you, but my mind goes right to the “loving, long-term relationship” of her father. Which of course is repellant.
Just because you have a problem with 14 year olds having sex with the full approval of their mothers does not mean you like Rush Limbaugh, are a prude, have never raised a child, etc. I am a liberal democrat who is rather more conservative with my private life. I am pro-choice in every way.
I am not meaning this at all snarky, but I’m wondering if maybe you are a young adult. Not that your opinion is any less valuable, it’s just I think as we age we see things in a different light. Not better or worse – just different.
I may be completely wrong about this but I bet Bruce Jenner didn’t stand by while Kris was handing out the birth control to his two young daughters. I think Kris was lazy – I am ONLY discussing these two people, noone else. I have a creepy feeling that this “family man” was an adult and it grosses me out as much as when Jessica Simpson’s father watched her rolling around on a bed with Nick in a music video, tearing up that his virgin daughter now has a beautiful and satisfying sex life.
mayamae: I am 30, thankyouverymuch, and I do voluntary work with young people. This is not a theoretical discussion to me.
I just also happen to be from a country with a culture that tends to have a pragmatic attitude to this sort of thing. You can hand-wring and pearl-clutch all you want, but teenagers will have sex, and the best you can do is equip them to make sound decisions and have sex as safely (physically and emotionally) as possible.
Which includes good sex ed (including a couple of talks about what consent is!) and solid information about relationships: how they should make you feel, how they should not feel, how to recognise a bad relationship, how to extract yourself from a bad relationship, etc etc.
A 14-year old’s idea of a loving longterm relationship is different from an 30-year old’s idea, but that doesn’t mean that that 14 year old can’t have something that’s (to her) quite serious and long term. And if that’s there, and the urge to explore sexually is there, then good luck trying to talk them into waiting until some arbitrary deadline years away.
Anne de Vries – there are no arbitrary deadlines. All the things you list in conjunction with birth control sound wonderful – but do we really think Kris Jenner did this?
Having an open dialogue is amazing but is there really no room at all for the question of are they really mature enough? You’re against arbitrary ages – Is 13 y/o fine, if so how about 12? Does noone here have a mother that they actually listened to and followed advice from?
I feel the only way a 14 y/o has a long term relationship is if the parents allow it. Parents have to have some input. At that age my mom knew exactly where I was and who I was with. At that age even coed parties were chaperoned – no I am not 100 years old. Sure teenagers lie but I would bet it’s just parents unwilling to set boundaries.
The 12 y/o cousin that I raised was allowed to have a boyfriend since she was 5. No lie. And even after it was known she had been the victim of incest, guess what question both sides of the family asked EVERY time they saw her – you got a boyfriend? The pressure to have a boyfriend is ridiculous. I’ve known and maybe even been at one time people who want to have a boyfriend just to say they have one when they don’t even really like the guy. Just seems a waste of energy.
Will there be bold 14 year olds that will sneak out the window and lie on a daily basis about where they are? Of course, and any parent who falls for that lie on a daily basis is either an imbecile or they don’t care.
It’s not being puritanical. There are always exceptions but I would bet that most kids start out kissing for awhile then touching, etc. Just delaying the kissing may delay the sex. Again I am not a prude. But when I was in middle school 2 7th graders would stand out after school every day and in clear view of everyone have passionate kissing for 10-15 minutes. All the parents knew this happened – I’m sure their own parents knew. My only point is that once it is acceptable or even expected to be at this advanced level when you are 13 it’s almost natural to continue on that path to sex.
And for all the comments that it’s no big deal and it’s natural and in Europe we’re really cool and have sex at 12, for some girls it is a big deal. The younger you are the deeper the emotional baggage will be. When I was 14 I had a new crush at least every month. Would it have been acceptable to have sex with each guy? That’s the problem. There’s usually no going back. You try it at 14 and you realize you’re not ready. What are the odds you’re mature enough to keep from having sex with the next boyfriend.
Exactly!!!!!! I was too scared as well. And when I was ready – at 18 btw she helped me get birth control. I had chances but waited. If u had sex at 14 and think its ok and are applauding your mom then WOW! Enabling your child to spread her legs when it’s iLLEGAL is appalling.
I could care less the argument oh my mom prevented me from getting pregnant. Your mom toOk the easy way out for HER sake instead of installing some self respect.
I apologize for my post posting twice.
I am not calling anyone a slut..I blame the parents 100% for not trying to encourage their daughters to wait for sex when they are old enough to process the situation they are in. Open communication is important and I applaud any parent who encourages sexual discussions with their kids. But isn’t it a parents job to protect their children? To guide them to make age appropriate decisions? To make them feel good about the decisions they make…that girls OR boys do not need to be defined who they are because someone wants to sleep with them??? Its deplorable the lack of parenting I see on this blog. How can you blame a 14 year old when her parents are basically giving her permission to sleep around by doing nothing to prevent it. Don’t you want your daughter to be raised with a sense of integrity.
I’m not shocked kids are having sex…I’m shocked that people think its ok at the age of 14 and actually defend so called parents who allow it. I actually feel bad for Kim…this actually makes my sympathetic for her because she never had a freaking chance to become what her mother has whored her out to be.
No, she didn’t. Thank goodness bc I do a lot of reading and I would’ve figured it out. The actual effects from stds and of course having a baby was bad enough.
At 15 I was worried about school, friends, homework, going to the movies, having a CRUSH on a boy in class and going the mall. Not opening my legs and giving my innocence to a boy who in reality is going to screw you one time and move on to the next girl leaving you ashamed and ugly. Kim was a whore in the making, prepairing herself to f#ck her way to the top for fame and her mom was training her by giving her birth control. I see why Oprah said Wow.
+1
Training? Really?
The whole Kardashian Klan are tops at making a “silk purse out of a sow’s ear” but giving her b/c is not training her to be a whore-unless you’re Rush Limbaugh.
Oh for god’s sake.
Having sex isn’t “giving your innocence” to someone. What a retrograde attitude.
Also retrograde: the attitude that girls don’t want sex and that all boys want is sex. It’s flatly wrong, and I have to wonder what kind of weird life anyone who still has this attitude has lived.
I agree with you 100%. And that was ten years ago, not 50 years ago like some may think.
Wow, does this woman have to tell everything about her annoying family? Next we’re going to hear about their bathroom habits.
Oprah got pregnant at 14 and gave birth to a son who died shortly after birth. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oprah_Winfrey#Early_life
If anyone should be supportive of a mother putting a potentially sexual active daughter on birth control, I would think it would be Oprah. Would I want my daughter to be sexually active at 14? Hell no! However, I want her to feel like she can talk to me. I’d rather have the conversation & make sure she’s protected not just from pregnancy, but STDs as well. I was raised by “abstinence only” conservative parents. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at 17, but hid it from my parents- as did most of my friends from conservative families. Once you realize all of the scare tactics and “Jesus will be angry” stuff is rubbish (What?! No lightening bolts?!) you develop a great deal of scorn for your parents & question everything they’ve ever told you. Have a shame-free conversation about why they feel they are ready to have sex with this particular person. Make sure they don’t feel emotionally coerced to take this step & are ready for possible social repercussions if friends find out- which they will. If they’re still considering having sex, then I say put them on birth control.
BTW I know Oprah was abused and has said that her promiscuity as a teenager was a reaction to her past: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20009251,00.html
I am by no means judging her and feel great sympathy for what she went thru. However, being a pregnant teen & then losing the baby could not have made that situation any easier.
When Kim said something about being ok with everything because a lesson was learned, Oprah said, “That is so perfect I could weep”. And it was so disgusting and delusional I could vomit. Really now, her first divorce wasn’t enough of a lesson?
I know the K Klan over share, but I think this is an interesting topic. Why not put your daughter in birth control and prevent her getting pregnant? 14 is maybe a little young but it’s JUST SEX. It’s not some life-changing decision. In Europe, the age if consent is pretty low and not everyone’s releasing sex tapes and letting guys p#ss in them. If she was in a relationship for two years, hads been open about it with her mum and was protecting her health.. I don’t see the issue.
Love how Oprah just said “wow.” You know she was thinking what a whore this girl is and what a pimp her mother is.
Wow, there’s a lot of very harsh comments in here. Me and my now husband got together at 13 – we were best friends since the age of 5. For me having sex for the first time at 15, after having talked to my mother who “put me on the pill”, felt like the most natural thing in the world, and I have never regretted it.
These things are so personal no one can really fairly judge another persons situation.
Btw, maybe I should ad that we didn’t get married before we had both graduated from college and had steady jobs (at 27), not that I know why that would be relevant…
You’re the rarity. Most girls at 15 are used by the boys and the boys move on and the girls move on to have sex with each new boyfriend. My sister had sex at fifteen and they did stay together through school, but she regretted it. She wishes she instead was more involved in school and friends. My mom wouldn’t let her move in with him at 17 after she graduated from high school. So my sister married him and got divorced eight months later when she realized she was too immature. Mom
regretted not letting them live together.
Dr. Phil did a show on boys at that age and so many young girls were interviewed. They tried to sound cool about it at first, but all broke down. The guys all admitted they were horny and would say anything to get blowjobs and sex from a girl but eventually moved on to the next girl. Dr. Phil talked about the raging testosterone boys are dealing with and the fact that most girls become emotionally attached by sex and are not emotionally equipped to handle it when the relationship ends.
Well if it was on Dr. Phil it must be true!!!!
Yeah, I’m calling bs. On all of this. Looking back on my friends and my own life, the only girls who were “scarred” by sex were those who were raped.
I knew more girls than boys who just wanted to do sexual stuff without having the hassle of a serious relationship. There are plenty of boys in the world who get all moony and clingy and whatnot. There are also a whole lot of people who have serious relationships in high school, whether those relationships last forever or not.
Boys are not walking testosterone factories who can never be trusted and have no feelings besides lust. Girls are not naive little victims who do everything to please boys, never feeling any lust of their own. The idea that boys are wild animals and girls must protect themselves from them is pure rape culture.
And that’s my only discomfort with this story. I work with young adults who are 18-25, usually, and I am shocked at how emotionally involved with sexuality these young women get now, let alone at 14. I don’t think that most girls know how intense their feelings will be. And some of these young men are just lawless and will say anything for sex; we have a bit of a sociopathic thing going on right now, where anything goes as long as you get yours. I am all for healthy sexuality, hell, I wish better quality p0rn were easily available, but 14 is too young. For many girls, so is 18, but I’m afraid you don’t always know that until its too late.
@emily +1
yeah, I know our story isn’t that common, but when it comes to something as personal as sex and at what age we’re ready I don’t think there’s a “normal”, or even particularly common. It’s about individuals.
I think both boys and girls feel a lot of pressure regarding sex, the pressure’s just a little different.
Girls are pressured to have sex (pressure from both boys and friends)while they’re expected (by everyone) to not really want to, while boys are expected to want to have sex at quite an early age.
Oprah has no business saying “wow” like it’s a big scandal. She was no better at that age.
You are absolutely correct.
Oprah had admitted to getting pregnant when she was still a teen, and giving up the child for adoption.
actually the child died, she did not give it up for adoption. She was molested as a child and stated this is the reason she became promiscuous as a young teen…very sad actually.
Thanks @be real… I thought she gave it up for adoption…
She did also speak up about her rape by a family member (I believe an uncle, or cousin..?) when she was 9.
Whatever the situation may be, her attitude was quite disconnected from her own preaching about taking charge of your womanhood, and teaching your daughters how to better protect themselves, and assume responsibility for their own bodies.
Oprah was molested by more than one male relative. She has not given much more detail than that. It was when she lived with her mother.
For goodness sake, sex is not that bloody traumatizing. None of the women I know, myself included, felt traumatized or shocked or whatever when they first had sex, yes, in their teens, and most of them hadn’t had profound and detailed discussions about sex with their parents before deciding to do it. The most important thing is for young people (and older ones too!) to know how to have sex in a way that is safe and responsible. Having boundaries and ensuring that other people don’t trespass them and that you are comfortable has nothing to do with sex per se.
+infinity
Some girls have better experiences than others their “first time”, but it is just plain not a big deal. There isn’t some line you cross where you’re an “innocent pure virgin” one moment and someone entirely different the next. That idea comes from patriarchal culture in which a woman is owned sexually first by her closest male relative and then by whatever man he chooses to give her to.
We load the “first time” with so much unwarranted baggage. Here’s the truth about the first time, if you’re having penis in vagina sex with a man: for some women it hurts a lot, for others it doesn’t hurt at all, for most it’s somewhere in between. Except for a very few, it’s not as painful as cramps, and there is pleasure to go with it. It almost never lasts more than a few minutes, no matter who you’re with, because guys tend to get quite excited the first time they have sex with a particular girl. (In my own experience, the more they care about the girl, the more excited they get, and the shorter it is — this is because guys feel emotion just as much as girls do, no matter what pop culture tries to tell us.) As with all sex, it’s best to do it with someone you respect and who respects you.
And you will not be a different person afterward, you will not be “soiled” or “deflowered”, you will not have “given” anything to a man who “took” something from you, and you sure as heck wouldn’t have lost your “innocence”. Your “innocence”, your “purity”, whatever, are not things that are between your legs.
Oh Emily, where have you been all my Celebitchy life?:-) Completely agree my dear, with everything you wrote.
Marry me! You injected some much needed sense into this topic.
What’s the story here? It is 15 years or so past the “sell by” date, considering that the trend in the public/media now seems to be embracing teenage sex and contraception disbursement so that the young people (who it is argued will have sex anyway) can enjoy their lives away from us stuffy squares. Next piece of breaking news!
we need to stop assuming that the only teenage girls who get pregnant are the ones who weren’t allowed on birth control or weren’t given “the talk” by their mother…plenty of girls on birth control end up getting pregnant and plenty of girls who aren’t on birth control end up not getting pregnant. There really is no link here.
IMO 12 is way too young to be dating anyone, and 14 is way too young to be having sex.
I have horrible, hellish, Niagara Falls-level periods that give me extremely severe cramps. I wish my mom had gotten me on the pill as soon as my period started, i.e. when I was eleven, because the pill is the only thing that really helps.
I got mine at age 10, with the same issues you had. I started taking them at 12, because my period got so hrrible I’d miss school, couldn’t eat, sometimes I couldn’t even stand up straight because the pain and cramping was so intense. BC was/is the only thing keeping me from wanting to remove my entire uterus with a fork.
I got my period at age 10. Started on BC when I was 12 to regulate my period and relieve the horrible awful cramps that ruined about 4 or 5 days of my life every month.
Going on the Pill was one of the best treatment for irregularity, über-pain cramps, and heavy-heavy bleeding.
So as much as I hate it, I agree with Kris. And we don’t know Kat-face’s medical history, so who know why she went on it. Even if she was sexually active at 14, she was being safer than if she hadnt taken anything at all. Can you imgine her with a kid? That’s a truly scary thought!
I am so sorry you were slut-shamed. No one deserves that under any circumstances, ever.
I wish my mom had gotten me on the pill when I was 12. I did miss school, like clockwork, throughout middle school and high school, because of my periods. I used to spend one night every time on the bathroom floor throwing up or wanting to throw up. Luckily my periods came every 5-6 weeks instead of every month, but then I think that’s part of the reason they were so heavy. I think it was irresponsible of my parents not to do what your mom so wisely did. When I did finally get on the pill on my own initiative when I was 18 (in preparation for piv sex with my boyfriend), it was a revelation.
Where was she slut-shamed?
That green dress is beyond awful. So ill fitting, so budget-looking and so gross, it blows my mind. She’s in desperate need of a fashion intervention.
My feeling is, GO AWAY KIM and stop trying to make millions of dollars off of folks. Just get married or not, and the whole Kardashian clan should go away and do their thing in private. Some of us are really sick of the whole thing and do not support the K thing. Tired of Kim, her social life, her boyfriends, and her body issues, sorry.
I am so tired of the go-to response to an opinion that is not your own is to say “you OBVIOUSLY are not a parent.” Combine that with being just a “amazingly arrogant, ignorant, condescending American”, and a “fattie hater who hates pregnant woman”, I have found it challenging to post here of late.
I am a liberal who did not have sex until college. Having said that, I am not a fool. I raised my cousin’s daughter from the age of 12. She had been abused and I wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap but I feel I handled it well. From about 14 on I constantly let her know that I would not judge her and we would get her on the pill if needed. Her response – “I am NOT ready to have sex yet. God!”. I am ever so grateful that she did not have sex until 18 – but surprise – she did not tell me first. I don’t know the moral of the story. Interpret as you want. Once she confided in me she did go on the pill.
Lastly, Kim was 14 – which in my mind is way different than 15 even though it is just 1 year. What bothers me about this story is it seems the opposite extreme from – you will not have premarital sex, period. I imagine Kris taking her for the pills and then saying, “Enjoy! Can’t wait to hear the details!” I am also concerned about this “family friend”. How old was this guy? Wouldn’t the first step be to let the situation cool down a little? I am a bit conservative about dating and age groups. I think a 14 year old girl should not be going out except in groups. I also think a 14 year old should not even be dating any older than a 15 y/o. Nothing is perfect but I adhered to these guidelines and thank God suffered through the teen years.
I don’t mean to generalize, but statistically many girls have sex at this young age could have a history of sex abuse. I think that while you are ensuring safety by the pill, you could be evaluating and frankly speaking about why she thinks she’s ready for sex. Some teen girls are guided by the parent’s morals and desire to abstain (me for instance). I don’t think that part should be left out of the picture. (Disclaimer: I absolutely hate abstinence only programs. They are useless.)
Please forgive my ramble but this is a loaded subject and I think there is a point between the opposite extremes which most parents fall into. A recent study reveals that the number one thing that prevents teen pregnancy is – a plan. That knowledge of how you want your life mapped out and the fact that teen pregnancy could destroy that plan. Combine that knowledge with birth control and explanations that sex is wonderful and beautiful but special to be shared when you are ready, and you’ve got them covered from every angle. Getting my cousin through those teen years knowing that her history of sexual abuse may condemn her to promiscuity and teen pregnancy was by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
I bet it was a package deal including a cell phone with great video capabilities 🙂
What’s the big deal? If the girl is going to have sex, she should be on BC.
I’d give Kris the benefit of the doubt and say that it was for Kim’s acne or periods, but somehow I don’t think that’s the case.
Well, she did the right thing, considering her daughter turned into a WHORE of every sense of the word.
The pill doesn’t equal sex tape, but having a mother like Kris Jenner does.
I’m actually surprised by this. I hope when my daughter is old enough to touch on these subjects she feels just as comfortable discussing it with me instead of her friends or someone else. You might not agree with Kris’ choice, but I think it’s quite admirable.
I mean, what else are they going to talk about? Kim getting a grammy an oscar or a tony award . . .? ahahah
The best comment I’ve seen so far…the truth..the truth..the truth. This revelation doesn’t shock me from her family
This entire family has not lived in the “real” world since day one. They have had a constant deluge of money and influence they did not earn on their own accord as none of them have any sort of professional skills or education to fall back on, unless you consider sexual favors a skill. So at this point it is quite obvious number one daughter is looking for her own golden meal ticket in the form Mr. Dumbass himself. Just like her mother did, she will be having that “Keep-a-Kanye-baby” very, very soon….. Just Sayin.
CONDOM DRAWER, people. CONDOM DRAWER. We bought them (no self-consciousness for the teens); made them aware of where they were (a “no questions asked policy” was set forth); and made them aware if they wanted to talk (always had been open about sex and their bodies) we were here.
The pill doesn’t negate STDs. I would HOPE that there was a comprehensive conversation (as there was in our home) about PROTECTING ONESELF.
well said!
I bet it was more like 12.
My mother did the exact same thing as soon as she and I discussed the fact that I was not a virgin anymore. I look back on it and think I was probably too young (15 almost 16) but my boyfriend was serious and we were together for four years. I dated him all through high school and a year beyond. We even talked about marriage but I ultimately decided I didn’t want to marry that young. I’m so grateful to my Mom for being open and honest about sexuality and for being proactive so I didn’t end up as a pregnant teen. Even though I think I may have been a bit young, at least I waited until I was in love. Some of my friends at that time dumped their virginity like it was some kind of a burden. Not judging, just wasn’t my thing.
I was 13. Was I waaay too young? Yes! I with I has waited 3 more years until I met my husband. But I am so glad I went on the pill and didn’t get pregnant until after i got married. I hope none of you ever have a child as horrible as I was. Bless my mothers heart she tried. At one point she even sent me away to one of thos rehabs for delinquent children. If you’ve ever left your teen alone you’ve given them a chance to have sex. Once my parents left to get groceries & I snuck my boyfriend over. I don’t think any of my friends were virgins past 15. Of course now that I’m older my mind is blown. I was so young! I have a 4 year old daughter now and it scares me so much. But hopefully I’ve learned a lot from all the lies & sneaking around I did. I hope that when my daughter is older she can come to me and I will help her make wise choices. I really don’t want to be raising my grand babies like so many around here end up doing.