Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Bullied bus monitor Karen Klein was on The Today Show yesterday to discuss the huge windfall she’s about to receive. Since the horrible video of children taunting and mocking Karen went viral, people have donated over $650,000 to her through the website indiegogo.com. The money will go directly to Karen and her family, and she admitted that she wasn’t sure what she did to deserve it. She does seem to have accepted that the money is coming, whereas before she was doubtful. Her plans involve investing some of it and helping out her family. Karen also talked about how her case has helped raise awareness of bullying. As for whether she forgives the boys, two of whom have written her letters of apology, Karen said that she eventually wants an explanation, but it sounds like she’s not ready to talk to them yet. (She previously told TMZ that she did not accept their apologies.) Here’s more:
The abuse Klein underwent inspired a stranger from Toronto to start up a collection on the website Indiegogo.com to give a vacation to Klein, who makes $15,506 a year at her position. With 26 days left to still donate, Klein might be able to buy her own island by the time the fundraising stops.
“I keep thinking, ‘What have I done?’ ’’ Klein said on TODAY Monday. “I don’t almost feel like I deserve it. What I am glad about is the fact that it does come out, and everyone knows what goes on. Not all the time, not all the kids, but it does happen.’’
Klein has received short written apologies from two of the boys, a long apology letter from one of the boys’ mothers, and an in-person apology from one of the boys’ fathers. Klein hopes to speak to the boys face-to-face at some point.
“Actually I would like to, eventually, not right away, ask them why they did it,’’ she told Ann Curry. “(I want) an apology and an explanation.’’While Klein is flattered by all of the positive attention she has received, she hopes the end result is ensuring that others do not have to go through what she endured. She doesn’t want the boys expelled, but has said she would like them banned from riding the bus for a year and ineligible to participate in team sports.
“I want kids to stop bullying,’’ she said. “Maybe they could start up a class in school to teach these kids not to do stuff like that.’’
In addition to all the money raised on her behalf, Klein has also been inundated with letters, e-mails and Facebook messages of support from across the world. There also was a rally in her hometown of Greece over the weekend.
“I’ve gotten so many notes from people who’ve been bullied, who’ve been very hurt,’’ she said. “My heart goes out to these people, and I would like to contact every one of them and tell them how sorry I am.’’
While she said she had been taunted by kids on the bus at other times in the past, the bullying she endured in the viral clip was the worst of the worst. It was so bad that her daughter, Michelle Hawkins, could not watch the entire clip, turning it off after one of the boys grabbed her mother’s ear.
“As soon as he touched her, it was just over,’’ Hawkins told Ann Curry. “I had to turn it off. I can’t believe somebody would do that to my mother.’’
Since school is out for the summer, the boys’ punishment is currently being determined by school administrators and will be applied in the fall. Klein is not pressing any charges, and she said it’s possible she may continue at her job. With $645,000 and counting in donations to her, there certainly is the option of retiring.
“Are you serious?’’’ Klein said when asked what she would do with the money. “What would anybody do with that much money? I would like to invest some.”Klein, who is a grandmother of eight, also said she would give some of the money to charity and help her children financially.
“They need cars, they need, they need, they need — it never ends,’’ she said jokingly.
[From Today]
I agree with Karen that schools need to have classes to raise awareness of bullying. It’s important to educate kids about what bullying involves and how it affects others. This should be happening in every school nation wide.
As for whether Karen “deserves” the money, does anyone in this type of situation? She kind of won a viral video lottery, fueled by a terrible episode she underwent. There are people who argue that she wasn’t doing her job, but really? She was being tormented by some incredibly mean kids. What was she supposed to do, get up and smack the crap out of them? I get the urge to do that just watching the video. She showed a ton of restraint, and if she would have yelled at them they would have put it on Facebook and acted like she had it coming. She did the right thing and the truth came out. If this helps more victims to speak out, and if it helps more people realize how their words affects others, then this episode happened for a reason. People are giving her money because they identify with what she went through and feel for her. I don’t see why people have a problem with that.
I am really glad that something good came out of the horrible experience this woman went through. BUT soooooo many children go through this every single day and who raises money or highlights their horrible plight? Sigh.
This IS highlighting their plight!
True. But those kids don’t have a boatload of money to help pay for the therapy they need after going through that.
Not if they’ve learned their lesson from this. Sometimes learning a good lesson is hard. These kids need to know this, like yesterday.
Babying them and whining about them needing psychiatrists and who is going to pay for the act they did, is enabling this kind of behavior. I’m certain their parents can figure it out. These kids need to learn it the hard way. And you can’t toss kids over to a professional every single time they do wrong. Parenting is for parents. All kids do wrong and all kids need to learn things by their mistakes.
I bet that there were people who donated to children’s groups too. Because, people also think like you do. There just no ticker being run on their good fortune.
When they say that Karen Klein doesn’t want to press charges what they do NOT mention is that she can’t press charges. These kids cannot be charged with anything under NY law. They are guilty of second-degree harassment which isn’t a misdemeanor or a felony, but a “violation” much like a parking ticket. And no one under the age of 16 can be charged with it. Maybe if they could be, everyone on school buses everywhere would feel a little safer.
I didn’t watch the entire video because it disgusted me, but doesn’t one of them touch her? Boom. Battery.
she doesn’t deserve it. what about hungry children, bullied kids, the homeless, etc? it’s sad what spurs us, people, to action.
agreed. why should there be a win fall for anyone just because so many adults failed….herself, the school principal (for poor recruitment of trained staff and lack of support for those hired), the bus driver, the parents.
they all did nothing and yet one of them is getting over half a million dollars.
disgusting.
Do you really think the kindness of strangers to a woman who suffered, publicly, is “disgusting”? Really? 😕
gg: It’s not disgusting, it’s really nice that people want to help. I think they should have cut it off after they hit the goal of giving her a nice vacation, though.
yes, i find it disgusting when adults are rewarded financially for failing to do their job. she was clearly in a role that she was not capable of performing.
however, i think it points to a poor education system more than anything…low pay, low expectations, lack of support, lack of training, lack of consequences, etc.
she should have been removed from the job or given the necessary training and support. of course, the children should have heavy consequences for their behavior.
they are all to blame. no one deserves to be rewarded in this situation.
@Jackie – You’re right, she didn’t do anything but maybe should have said something – I am unqualified to say what’s allowed in school systems these days and what’s not. Maybe they just have them on the bus as witnesses, who knows. I’ve never heard of a bus monitor before. I would assume they should get some psychological training to deal with this. In this context, to me, it seems like if she said anything to these incredibly BOLD kids, it would’ve escalated, and maybe she knew that, as a mother. Dunno. But honestly, if this is a shortcoming from the school system, it’s not her fault. Either way, she did not deserve the abuse. People giving her monetary props is in no way “disgusting”, however. Maybe her donors might have wanted to give her a hug and this is the only way they can show their support from a distance, or support their own bruised inner child. No way to know how the kindnesses of strangers works without interviewing them.
The kindness of strangers can never be labelled as “disgusting” though.
if i were a teacher at that school, one who is educated, trained, and hopefully working against bullying, and i saw a coworker do literally nothing when bullying was happening on school property (to themselves, no less), AND then get over half a million dollars for it, i would be disgusted.
anyway, agree to disagree!
@ Jackie, you are very wrong, she absolutely did her job, one which she is very well suited for, considering not many could have withstood this treatment. She has said it is against the rules for her to have acted out against the children, certainly not in a like manner either. And really, “disgusting” LOL. Dramatic much? Some people find it disgusting to give to animal rescues when “children are starving” blah, blah, blah. Really, what people want to do with their own money is their business and why should she not accept a gift peple have made an effort to give her? Because she is not “educated and trained”? Ugh.
Good point Jesstar.
What people want to do with their money is their own business. It’s nice enough that they want to give it to someone else. People who care so much about other bullied people could give us some links to organizations or individual cases. Or tips of what to do when you encounter bullying.
Just complaining that there are other bullied people or ‘more deserving’ cases without doing anything to promote them, does not help very much.
Seriously? Nobody was forced to donate money to this woman. People gave because they wanted to. It isn’t a matter of whether she “deserves” it or not, she never asked for it. She went through a humiliating experience and If a lot of people want to donate a little money for the purpose of showing her compassion and love and to maybe bring some joy to this woman than that is great. I think the people that donated not only gave to Karen but also gave against bullying. This is a good thing that shows kindness and compassion still exist. Why turn it ugly with negatives comments.
Nobody really deserves anything except the basics like food, water & warmth in the winter. The fact that people are being generous is their choice. So many people are born into wealth and have hardly suffered, why shouldn’t she who has suffered accept what’s given to her?
People give to causes that they care about. If you give to the homeless, someone will always argue, “you should be giving money to sick children or (fill in the blank here) instead!”
This woman went through a horrible ordeal, has had a tough life, and has handled all of this with self-restraint and grace. I was badly bullied as a kid, but I don’t resent that she’s being compensated while I am not.
Side note, I really think those @$$hole kids only “apologized” because they were left with little choice but to. They should be made to do some serious volunteer work for the poor or disabled until they get a new perspective on how tough life is for some people.
I’m sorry you were bullied so much, but glad you can find happiness in this woman’s justice.
I hope you’ve gotten over the trauma and totally agree with you those boys are horrible.
+1
I agree. She didn’t “accept” the apologies because, at the time she was asked about it, she hadn’t received any. The effing media had copies of the letters…the awful worthless parents saw to THAT…but their little thugs’ victim didn’t have a copy.
Plus, in situations like this, the kids should be forced to apologize in person. Full stop.
@only1shmoo
+2
+ 3
I was bullied pretty badly too, schmoo, and I never told a soul. In fact, this site is the first time I’ve mentioned it ever. I had just got over here from England, and I looked funny and talked funny and was harassed a lot. People waiting for me at my locker just to humiliate me and being insulted on the school bus kind of stuff. So I understand how it feels.
It’s lovely of people to donate to her, but I do think it’s gone a bit overboard.
+4
+ all the points
Wow, Bluhare, that’s pretty intense stuff that this is the first time you mention it.
I hope reading through the comments and seeing the support Karen Klein gets has helped you in some way.
Lots of happiness and strength in dealing with it!
@ bluhare – I would’ve totally been your friend in school. I adore British people (and all cultures for that matter), and always have been. I wish more people would spread out a little. But kids are very mean, and so are many adults.
@didi: It’s not true that she “never asked for it.” When she was being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest she said “Keep the donations coming!”, which is greedy and yes, disgusting.
What a class act this woman. This is real royalty.
And as for the money, I’d rather she gets it than some charities that use more than half of a donation to pay huge salaries for their CEO’s.
It is a good thing it came out. At least in Greece, NY, they will now be more alert for bullying and not they will not try to brush it off as ‘boys will be boys’ anymore. Parents have too much power. If a boy goes nuts to this extend, he should be expelled.
What those boys did was horrible and went far past ‘normal’ namecalling.
Threatening an old lady to slice her stomach and insult her with the suicide of a child? The one who said those things need to be under observation because he seems severely disturbed. Rather him losing a few perks than him making more victims. The cruel little shit.
Those kids should be marched over to her house and made to clean up her yard, clean up her house, and basically do whatever is asked of them.
They should be made to apologise IN PERSON, and their parents should also apologise IN PERSON. Writing notes and sending dad over to apologise for you because you got caught is bullshit.
They should also be made to walk five miles in the snow with no shoes like we did! 😉
Great ideas – being at her house to do grunt work is a killer idea. I think they will probably pony up at some point and do a face to face apology, if the parents know anything about true apology.
Agree, Bluhare. Those boys should at least do something like that.
Am afraid that in the culture of Oprah, people have grown to believe that an “I’m sorry” makes everything right.
Children can’t discipline themselves, that’s why some adults are paid to make sure they behave correctly. But (most) 68 years old people don’t have the energy, confidence and autority to do that kind of job. And that’s the real problem here: after a life of hard work, this lady still didn’t have the opportunity to retire and had to keep on working. Quite hypocrit to blame those children for not respecting elderly people, when this is exactly what we are doing as a society.
I don’t see boys who threaten an old lady with knife slices and other such vile things as ‘children’ anymore.
They are middle school students in any case, hardly kindergarteners who don’t know right from wrong. In fact, many kindergarteners already have a starting sense of that something can be mean and not good. Stop babying and excusing boys like this. They deserve punishment.
Where did I excuse those boys?
Where you say that it is hypocritical to blame the ‘kids’, since society disrespects people like her as well.
Society indeed does a poor job taking care for the elderly, but it is nowhere broadcast that we should poke, insult and threaten to slice old ladies. They came up with that all by themselves.
stop the whining about the donations given to klein. she did not solicit them; it was done on her behalf — a genuine and heartfelt reaction from people horrified and disgusted by the treatment she received.
i hope it reaches one million.
imagine the screeching… lol
I agree. If people want to give her a million bucks,that is their choice. Why should this bother anyone?
And with adult children and a bunch of grandkids, that money won’t last forever.
Yup, she won her own personal lottery. Maybe she doesn’t exactly “deserve” it, but if a bunch of kind people chose to donate their money to her, then good for her!
I hope she enjoys a long and happy retirement.
I have the same mind with you. It’s not her fault that people decided to gave her that much money. She’s not the one that put the video online and made the website, too.
It’s true that there are far more people going through far worse things but it is what it is. Luck is also playing a part in our life either we think it’s fair or not. The world is just like that. That’s why not everyone can be a mega million winner. 😉
Well put. Luck and chance do have a lot to do with it, and so what? Maybe it’s divine intervention. The Universe/God/She-Ra/Whoever has seen fit to have this come out in public to highlight a cause. What if she has led an exemplary life and this is her reward. Why begrudge this innocent lady of anything? She’s done nothing wrong at all and I feel she is nothing if not humble, and therefore, very deserving of a blessing like this money. Go for it Karen.
+1 ^
I don’t get this. She was insulted by kids and that’s it? There are ppl going through far worse, and Im not even considering the world, just america. But just because of verbal insults this case gets this much media attention?
I don’t get it.. Sry.
I don’t think she gets it either…
You make it sound like someone ‘insulted’ her wardrobe. This woman was demeaned and ridiculed and threatened with violence. She was subject to a horrible amount of hatred. Yes, this happens everywhere. But it doesn’t make what this poor woman went through any less disgusting.
Very true words indeed. But u missed my point.
If a case like this gets this much media attention, why don’t get the “more serious” cases any attention?
Just to make myself clear, Im not saying this woman didn’t face any hardship, just that there are more in the world.
Well, Dave, if you’re so concerned about those other cases, please start helping them, if you don’t already. I’m sure Celebitchy wouldn’t mind if you linked to your website about bully awareness.
Dave, this one gets more attention because more people identify with it. Most people have been bullied in one form or another and many of us have a vulnerable older adult in our lives who we worry about.
People tend to have empathy for those that they can relate to. It’s not good or bad, it’s just human nature.
I think the outpouring towards this woman, unexpected as it is, speaks to how many people can relate to her situation and how pervasive and far-reaching bullying actually is.
While it’s true that there may be many people who are far more “needy,” it’s obvious that this situation touched a nerve, big-time. And it shows that as much as we think we have evolved as a society, we still have a long, long way to go if bullying can still be so traumatic to so many.
HERE YOU GO DAVE: http://www.childfund.org/child-sponsorship/sponsor-a-child.aspx
I highly recommend giving to ChildFund. It is a very, very rewarding experience.
Take the money and run with it, lady.
So just because there are thousands of undocumented incidents, one DOES come out and she somehow doesn’t deserve to be heard and accept people’s willing donations? For the love of god. I think its good that this happened because it makes us aware of just how cruel and mean spirited this crap actually is. We hear about “bullying”, but to see it in the flesh, especially against an old woman who has worked hard all her life really changes perspective, I feel.
Let the woman enjoy the money that was willfully given to her out of the goodness of people’s hearts and use this as a message for good.
Calm down, people.
Well said, Lizzi.
Agreed.
Yes. The only downside I can imagine is that now people might expect her to be an advocate of some sort, which is a role she’s clearly not prepared to take on. I hope she can move on and live her life in peace and on her terms.
Spot on lizzi.
These little shit’s (who were so full of themselves that they even filmed it) parent’s should be completely ashamed of themselves and their little brats. Of course they are not, because if they were said ‘little shit brats’ and parents would have made sure they personally apologized to this woman by now.
It was wrong what they did and why they did it, what make’s it reprehensible is that the parents are still failing miserably at being parents.
You go Karen! Enjoy every penny and relish in your retirement…you may not be the only bullied party in the world but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of every single penny that good spirited and good hearted people send your way~
She said she’s too upset to see them face to face so soon. She deserves the time to get her strength of purpose, herself and her questions together before they meet. Frankly, I hope she waits until Fall so these little jerks can be scared all Summer about their punishment and meeting the face of their victim and hearing her out. I hope she writes a damn good speech for them.
And I totally agree – donating to this woman who obviously does very much need the money, she and her large family, does not disrespect any person or any other cause. There are many good causes on this Earth and one does not displace the other.
People slamming Karen for accepting donations from strangers because her bravery has inspired them is not getting the point of the donations. And I’d like to ask those people criticizing her if they do donate themselves to the needy. If not, they should think about it themselves instead of shaming Karen for accepting the donations.
TEAM KAREN.
gg let me tell you, if one of my boys had done something this despicable I’d have drug them by their stinkin’ buzz cut over to Karen’s house, made him knock on the door, and humbly beg for forgiveness. Karen doesn’t seem the type of person to turn away a genuine apology…she seems like she’d be ready and willing anytime.
After I made sure my son offered his “sincere apology” besides being barred for the remainder of the summer from his electronics (the life they all live) he’d be sweating his little gonads off cutting grass (maybe even Karen’s if she was gracious enough to allow it), pulling weeds, cleaning up the dog shit and a myriad of other chores for penance!
chatcat: LOVE the make them sweat all summer idea. Make sure they know that meetings are being held with Karen and the district. And their parents ought to make sure they work their asses off too.
If I had kids and one had been caught doing something like this, their lives would not be worth living for a while. And they’d hear MY story. Shame can be a wonderful thing sometimes.
Chatcat, you sound like the right kind of mother and I applaud your appropriate knee-jerk reaction to this beyond the pale behavior. We need more mothers around like you, who care about the morals of the kids they’re raising.
That one father’s kid didn’t look nearly as embarrassed as he said he was. There was no sincerity in his apology, imo.
Hear, hear!
It’s a lot of money but I don’t get why people are upset that she’s getting so much. She did not solicit a penny. People WANTED to give her this money as a show of support. I’ve never gotten why people want to dictate what other people do with their money, saying it could go to charity or this or that foundation or what have you. What if I went around telling you what to do with your next paycheck. How would you like it?
One thing about donation links that I have noticed – people don’t stop giving to a “hot” (for lack of a better word) cause like this after the goal is reached. Even on those Pledge Music pledges where you donate to help your artist produce their album independently: People do not stop giving after the goal is reached. The people that had not given before the goal was reached will still go to the link and give, to do their part, so the amounts are always WAY over target. An artist I know of did PledgeMusic and got over 555% of his goal. He needed the money badly for his family, but also to put out his album to sell, since everybody downloads music for free these days and artists are getting screwed by theft. So even though he could’ve kept the money, he donated towards needy children because he was so touched by the response and wanted to spread the goodwill towards more good, outside of music.
Karen has said she will donate certain amounts to charities, which is very common in an over the target pledge drive like this.
I don’t think she deserves it really but so what?
If she decides to donate some (or all) of it to a favorite charity of hers or something that would be lovely but I don’t think she should feel at ALL guilty about keeping it.
This is ridiculous. Every single person on this planet has been made fun of, every single last one of us. She is an adult. Way to peg these boys for life as abusers. Absolutely ridiculous. Those who gave her money should be ashamed of themselves.
I agree. There are ppl gone through far worse, I don’t get the media attention on this case. Its ridiculous.
Media only caters to the demands of the public. If noone cared about it this story would have died. The fact that it is being reported shows people found some resonance with it.
‘many problems in the world’ lol.. By the same logic why are people on a gossip site when they can focus on ‘problems of the world’
Pls dont insult those who gave money, its theirs to spend.
What have YOU done recently? Atleast that s the question i ask myself when I read comments like these..
Yes, Diana, me too.
I can understand you find other causes worthier, but then spend time working for those causes and promote them.
There are far worse things online to hate than people who donate the money for a GOOD cause.
And those boys, well, they are the ones who sought the media attention. Not this lovely old lady.
Why do people know and care about it?
Well, because those ‘poor little kids’ put it online THEMSELVES.
Because of this case and the outcome for her, I expect we could begin seeing A LOT more videos of kids being bullied. Maybe not until school starts up again in the fall. But from now on, any kid who gets bullied on a regular basis could have a friend try to secretly tape some of it for them. Likely? Maybe not. But the idea for it is out there now.
ITA they taped it because they were proud of them themselves.When a case gets media exposure more people are empathetic.
You both make great points. Their total lack of empathy is on display, but only because they put it on display. They thought they looked cool hurting her, which shows their total lack of morals.
And I do think it has a positive outcome. Why are people so empathic? Because it strikes a cord with those who are bullied. They feel happy that at least she gets some justice and those boys some punishment.
They’re ‘pegged as abusers’ because that’s exactly what they are. They verbally abused this woman, and threatened her. They treated her like absolute shit.
I think the people who should really be ashamed are the parents of these little jerks.
We should be happy that this is bringing attention to bullying in general. Just because it’s not a cute little kid getting bullied doesn’t make it unworthy of attention.
Nobody would want to go through what that woman had to go through- and likely the kids are going to get a little slap on the wrist and the whole thing will blow over in a year or two.
I don’t think one case of bullying deserves more attention than another. Be happy that the school was made aware of what these kids are like, and maybe they won’t have as much rope to bully other kids this way
Tough Love is tough and it works.
Me, do you have any kids?
They should be ashamed of themselves?
Yes…giving money in support of another human being is SUCH a thing to be ashamed of.
Raising a child who threatens to rape an elderly woman isn’t something to be ashamed of.
Being a child who taunts a woman about the suicide of her son isn’t something to be ashamed of.
…giving money to try and make her life easier is.
This is just an excuse to be annoyed that someone has received a bit of luck and enjoyment you haven’t. Don’t begrudge this woman her little joy unless you’re willing to live the life she had to live with these animals.
You said what I was hesitant to say. There’s more than a whiff of envy coming off some of those posts.
Thank you, you are so right.
I so agree!
This was a bit more than being made fun of, don’t you think?
Maybe they will be abusers for life. It’s possible that they’ll grow up and go on to regret it. Things hit people when they least expect it, and it rarely happens publicly. But there are some people who are without conscience, and there’s nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade.
They should be ashamed of helping somebody out monetarily? Baloney!
Uhh, Me, I can honestly say I’ve never been made fun of like that. Please tell me you don’t have children! Actually, are you the parent of one of the kids? If so, get off Celebitchy and parent your child.
Agreed it’s absurd. She’s being rewarded for being crap at her job!
Her job was to keep order on the bus. So she gets a bunch of twits mouthing off? Big deal! If at 70 she can’t get respect from these kids she was not the right person for the job.
She seems quite daft to tell you the truth and I guarantee you that if she ever sees that money you’ll get another article in a few months about how the IRS is putting a lien on her house cause she didn’t pay taxes on what she received.Guaranteed!
Now that petition to send her on holiday was cute but as others have said it should have been shut off once they hit their mark.
600K€ is ridiculous and if she actually gave a crap about bulling she would have pledged to use most of that money to help bullied kids in the school, or get training for bus monitors or something worthwhile instead of keeping it all and buying her grown kids cars. What the heck!? This isn’t the lottery! She didn’t even contribute 2 bucks for a ticket!!
Okay, you don’t really know her exact job description do you? You are obviously not from this country so you’re not aware of how schools run in the US. I thought it was the bus driver’s responsibility for discipline. She may have only to be there as a witness to corroborate the bus driver. Also, she’s not 70, she’s 68.
And you also don’t know to which charities she is going to donate – and she did say she IS going to donate money. So quit assuming the worst and accusing based on fantasy and jealousy. It really is ugly.
I think they pegged themselves for life as abusers. And if the shoe fits, wear it.
They now have the opportunity to go out of their way to show people they are NOT like that anymore. So I think this is good, frankly.
Enjoy your retirement! You deserve it! F@ck the kids!
^^ This one was better
Enjoy your retirement! You deserve it! Screw those mean kids
I think by saying she doesn’t deserve it means she doesn’t see how a bunch of money is going to stop the hurt. They bullied her about her dead son! Then they prodded her physically. I agree, money is no answer for their actions.
Money is not the answer for a lot of things. Yet, for example, people continue to sue and to believe that money will make them feel better. The initial thought behind this outpouring was that this woman deserved a vacation after what she’s been through. No it won’t bring back her son but who can’t relate to wanting to get away from the grind and take some down time?
I’ve been badly bullied. As have others.
I’m in financial need. As are others.
But I’m still happy people are donating
to her. I wont begrudge her that. I hope she stays safe. She may be a target
now that the world knows of her.
Good. I can’t help but feel that those who begrudge her this are angry because they didn’t get the attention she does. Glad you can still feel happy about someone getting some love and justice.
I also hope you lead a happy life despite the bullying when you were young and that you can see they only did that because they sensed you were better than them.
me too.
Same here. I can see how she might struggle with the feeling of ‘deserving’ this, but it’s essentially a (global) community outpouring of support that happens to take on the form of money.
It means that – as I write this – over 30 000 people are saying ‘I see you, you matter, I really want to give you a hug, but instead I am giving you something practical and tangible that will improve your life’.
An army of people who each individually decided that it was worth something to them to show this lady that they care. I can’t see how anybody could be outraged about something so beautiful.
Excellently said!
Completely agree with this and that it was beautifully stated.
I understand that parents cannot control what their children say/do when they are not around, and that kids can be quite vicious (especially in middle school). However, I’d first ask the parents what the hell kind of guidance they’ve given their kids that lets them think that tormenting anyone – ESPECIALLY an elder of theirs – is ok.
When I was a kid one of the many rules I had to abide by was you always respect your elders by default. Whether they continue to earn that respect (by their behavior) was another discussion, but you never talked back. It’s a lesson I still mind to this day and teach my kids.
Does this woman deserve > half a million dollars? Probably not. However, she did not put up this video and cry about what had happened and ask for donations. People gave of their own free will, and for that I say Sure, why not?
We don’t need classes on bullying for the kids. It shouldn’t be the school’s job to teach kids to be nice to each other. We need to get parents to teach their kids right from wrong, and how to treat other people with respect.
“We don’t need classes on bullying for the kids. It shouldn’t be the school’s job to teach kids to be nice to each other. We need to get parents to teach their kids right from wrong, and how to treat other people with respect.”
True but sadly many parents expect schools to do much of the hard work of parenting. So bullying runs rampant because parents can’t be concerned with the behavior and character of their kids. And the school is forced to provide anti-bullying education in an effort to get the problem under control because their students are in pain.
It’s a vicious cycle and, seeing middle schoolers on a daily basis, it’s hard to imagine it breaking any time soon.
“True but sadly many parents expect schools to do much of the hard work of parenting. So bullying runs rampant because parents can’t be concerned with the behavior and character of their kids.”
So very true. And it’s incredibly sad that it’s that way :\
I’m not so sure it’s as simple as parents are getting lazy and non-involved. That’s probably part if it (it being the seeming increase in bullying among kids), but it’s an illusion to think up until now, we’ve had generations of respectful children who grow up to be civil humanists.
Our government is full of grown up bullies. So are our corporations, churches, colleges, talk shows, etc.
Maybe you weren’t implying differently, but a lot of people’s reaction to this case has been: this bullying could be solved if people just disciplined kids like they used to. That solution is clearly flawed, in my opinion.
Or, if what you’re saying is simply that parents need to more vigorously instill a sense of humanity/civility into their kids, consider how hard that would be in our society. I won’t get too much into it, but American idealism is founded on the pursuit of individual happiness, not collective harmony. Humanism has never been important; some people feel guilty about that, so they donate money.
This is going to turn into a parenting discussion, I can feel it! And I don’t have kids, so please don’t slam my opinion for that.
I just read an article by a psychologist who says that society is devolving because we don’t let our kids learn in childhood that life *isn’t* fair, that you do win and lose some, and that some people won’t like you no matter what and there’s nothing you can do about it except move on. So we end up with a bunch of people who think the sun rises and sets on them because they’re special.
I agree with your comment. I see it in my own kids and their friends….the sense of entitlement.
These are the basic principles of life and need to be reinforced. True, life is most definitely not fair, and many kids are coddled way too much these days, imo – seeing the entitlement all around. And kids pass it on to their friends.
Thanks you guys. Hopefully I can see the forest and not just the trees. I was waiting on the “you don’t have kids so you’ve got no idea” comments so it’s nice that a couple of moms agree with me. So thanks again.
blu…you don’t have to be a parent to have common sense about kids. Having common decency is a human trait, and one that far to many people, parents or not, lack.
One thing I have never waffled on stressing while raising my boys was to remind them regardless of what they may achieve or not achieve, what they may have or may not have, you will have manners and respect for others…nobody can take them from you or use them against you.
Agreed. Some people say it has something to do with parents being absent more, but I think it’s not so much that, but parents putting a kid on a pedestal.
Part of the problem is also that everybody’s hands are tied when it comes to punishment. In the last article about this topic, it was even said that in some schools in America kids can never get a lower grade than 50% percent (or something like that). Great way to promote entitlement and laziness.
Absolutely, bluhare. This touchy feely everyone wins there are no natural consequences in life anymore new age parenting crap has bred a generation of entitled slackers who believe the world owes them. When I started my private practice, I was considering specializing in child therapy but I just couldn’t bear to be around some of these parents. Child therapy doesn’t work without the parents being on board and what these parents wanted was a quick fix to little Johnny’s behavioral difficulties, one in which they didn’t have to actually ever confront their child.
If the liars and thieves of wall st., the banks, gov’t, etc. ‘deserve’ to have a ton of money without earning it, why doesn’t she?
Institutions are making huge money by selling people houses and then throwing them out later. Why do we let someone in a haircut and a suit get away with it? but a middle or lower class person, ‘just needs enough to live on, and if they can’t get it, it’s their problem.
The super wealthy are treated like untouchable royals in America, who are allowed to live under different laws and rules they get to make up themselves.
Yes. At least she is clearly a decent human being, worthy of a windfall 1000 times more than the douchebags who threw us in the crisis.
Regardless of whether of not she deserves the money, I’m still happy to know she’s getting it. It’s refreshing to see the bullied party be rewarded while the bullies are being called out for their atrocious behavior. That’s the way things should work IMO.
I was both on the receiving and giving sides of bulling as the
majority of people. It was at schools or university, however, situations involved peers and nobody disabled or disadvantaged. What bothers
me the most about this situation is that she is elderly and deaf. She could not even hear them. It was so cruel that I kept forgetting that bullies are essentially kids. Scary.
That being said, I think that bulling is part of the teenager’s maturity process, it’s about dealing with the crowd mentality, about psychological survival, etc. Life is tough, and it’s one of the first serious challenges, which you have to pass whether you want this or not. I don’t think it’s even healthy to avoid these challenges early in life but we – as adults – need to do something to bring the understanding that firstly bulling is cruel and just plain wrong and secondly, that extreme reactions to bulling up to suicide is wrong too.
This being said, I hope that Karen enjoys her vacations.
I was not a bully ever, but my life was made miserable by kids in junior high. And they get no pass from me because it was part of the “maturation” process.
I’ve (mostly) forgiven both them and myself and am instrumental in preventing bulling these days. I’m oversensitive, so it’s an emotional luggage but it’s helpful. I credit it with having made me more resilient plus I’m not afraid to resist a crowd.
Another Nina: Totally agree on the “not afraid to buck the crowd” thing. You know how you’re listening to someone speak and don’t understand what they’re saying? You look around and think everyone else gets it so you must be a moron because you don’t? Well, I’m the one who finally gives in, raises her hand and asks the question. It’s amazing how many times it opens up a firestorm because no one else did either!
I also help people on the street. I gave a bum a lift to Walmart once because it was obvious he was having trouble breathing (asthma). I stopped to make sure someone lying in the steet was passed out and not dead. Both times, I was asked why I did that, I could have been hurt, blah blah. The guy I took to walmart? He was an old man, couldn’t breathe and was doubled over. Even I could have handled him. The passed out guy was passed out (although I do concede a drug fueled maniac would not be a good thing), and a police officer drove by so I waved him down. I’ll be damned if I’m on of those people in videos who walk right by some guy who died in the street.
@ bluhare – I feel good that there are people like you in our society! it’s really cool that you are doing it.
I guess you are telling this because you imply that you’ve never been a bully and still able to resist a crowd and be a kind person. Right?
The situation where I was involved in bulling is not black and white. Now, many years later, I realize that the person had a Munhauzen syndrom (spelling?), there are plenty of articles about it these days, so now I recognize it immediately, and don’t overreact. At that time, I was 16, I was in the university, that other girl was may be around 20. She kept telling me horrible stories about her cancer and procedures, and pain and other horrors…I felt so sorry for her, I was basically scared to death for her. And it turned out to be not true. These days, I would have said – thank God, laughed and moved on. But I was 16, and I was hurt. I was not a classical bully, but I demonstratively stopped communicating with her, and many people in our group followed me. The girl left the group, took a year off, and returned to the university later. Am I proud of it? God, no. Have I dealt successfully with other cases of Munhauzens? Have I prevented many cases of bulling? Hell, yes.
Nina: No, I wasn’t a bully, just bullied. I was too shy and scared to bully anyone!
But thanks. Sometimes you have to stick your neck out. It took a long time to get here, because I was so afraid of getting picked on. To this day I’m terrified of being singled out because I associate it with such negativity.
I’d like to know how some people would feel if she were their mother or grandmother. They’d call to the corners of the earth for justice and all the vacations in the world!
Some people have seen teenagers being nasty to their grandma, and those people resolved this situation successfully.
Exactly, Lisa. Putting a loved human face on her is why people are donating.
gg: I have nothing against donating. There may be various reasons why they are donating – guilt could be one of them.
She didn’t ask for the money. Saying she doesn’t deserve it over and over is getting a bit tiring. She never thought she deserved it either. I also read she has a grandchild with Down Syndrome and another with autism and plans to give generously to charities that cater to those causes. Kudos to her for trying to do the best she can with the windfall. Sure, there are poorer and hungrier and more needy people in the world but she didn’t take this money from them and I really think she’ll do better than most at being charitable with it.
+1
I personally would rather donate money to other causes, but if others chose to give to her, that’s their right.
I think she should retire, pay her bills, help her kids, and then give back by finding a charity or cause to spend her new free time helping.
The kids who did this need SERIOUS punishment. Major community service and mandated sessions with the school counselors.
ITA with your comments lucy2… well stated. I’d love to see her use some of that money to help increase awareness of bullying, maybe establish a local educational program designed for middle school kids? That seems like a great way to pay it forward.
She should keep the money and retire!
The awful things those kids said to her… O_O
People claiming she doesn’t deserve it are missing the point, and people who want to pity the boys are enabling the problem.
Bullying is quite similar to abuse, both exist because someone has forced another person to believe there is no ‘out’.
Whether you’re a child or an adult the moment you find yourself in a position of weakness with an aggressor you KNOW how awful it feels. This was a woman who wasn’t hurting anyone simply trying to do something for children and finds herself poked, prodded, taunted, insulted, reminded of her son’s suicide?
Really?
People are giving her money because they know a perfectly sweet old woman doesn’t deserve to suffer like this because she needs a position. If you don’t think she deserves it, that’s fine, but her story resonates with others.
As for the little brats…tough love. If they did HALF of what was shown in that video at a workplace they’d find themselves under a law suit or criminal charges. (It was even said she DROPPED what charges she could have filed against them) They now get to realize actions have consequences and that mistakes, even ones made as a child, CAN haunt your entire life.
Its the message their parents were SUPPOSED to be teaching them to prevent what they did on the bus.
Since they didn’t learn it that way…they get to learn it this way.
Seeing themselves mocked and scorned the way they mocked her, and seeing her rewarded for being a wonderful human being.
Sounds wonderful to me.
And to me.
Great post, Riana.
This post should be at the very top instead of people disgusted by the kindness of donations. Well put.
I don’t think it’s anyone’s business whether or not she “deserves” money. The people who gave it to her think she does…and it was their money. If you don’t think she deserves money; don’t send her any. Simple as that. If you feel other groups deserve money, send them some. It’s that easy.
Agreed.
Exactly! It wasn’t a lawsuit and she didn’t even ask for it. So if people choose to donate, that’s their business. I can think of worse things to chip in $5 for.
For those of you who would “donate to other causes,” tell us, how many have you donated to this year? If the answer is none, then condemning those who want to give this woman a vacation and went above and beyond is none of anyone’s business.
Having been bullied myself as a child and teenager, the repurcussions still resonate with me today. So, don’t use this “everyone gets teased” excuse. There is a HUGE difference between teasing and bullying. How would you like rubber cement put in your hair? I know I didn’t like that, especially since I had to chop all my hair off due to it. How would you like to be humiliated and then have it posted to the web for the world to see? I highly doubt you would. How would you like it if your mother/grandmother was humiliated in front of the whole world just as she was? Ask yourself THOSE questions…not ask if she deserves it.
The generosity of others is their own concern and not any of ours. As a matter of fact, I think I may go donate to her vacation myself!
She, seems humbled enough to feel the amount is underserved and that shows what a good person she, herself, is.
As for those kids, I think someone should publically humiliate their parents and post it to the web…but that would be MY retaliation. See how they like it. Being booted off the bus and not allowed to play sports is getting off easy.
“There is a HUGE difference between teasing and bullying. ”
Yes. I don’t think everyone needs to carry it with them for their lives and become bitter, but I think people need to realize that there are some things you can’t forget. Everyone gets teased, but bullying is different.
Exactly…I’m not bitter, but I haven’t forgotten what I went through. The video angered me beyond belief and I couldn’t finish watching it. It made me cry, actually. Because I know how much it hurts to have something like that happen to you.
I find the people who squawk the loudest are typically the ones who’ve never given to a cause outside their own interest in their lives. They don’t want to give to anyone. They just want to complain about what others give.
Exactly. It’s jealousy, plain and simple. And retained acid only damages its own container.
“retained acid only damages its own container”
Exactly this. I think this is important regarding those that say she shouldn’t forgive the kids. Of course she doesn’t have to. That is her right. But your quote is why its important for people to at least try to forgive. It is for themselves. NOT for the person that hurt them. Yes, maybe hearing that someone has forgiven you makes you feel better after you’ve done something wrong to them, but it is mainly for the benefit of the person who was hurt. Forgetting almost never happens, its rarely even possible for humans, we just remember whether we want to or not. But people should try to find peace and try to move on with their lives, for their OWN good.
Remembering that the actions of a few do not necessarily denote all is important, too.
I was bullied a lot, too in school. It hurt very much. But I have moved on. I do not hope for bad things for the people who bullied me. I hope they grew up to be better people than they were back then. I’ve run into a few of them over the years, and they do seem to have grown up. It is possible.
People who have money can give it to whatever charity they want. People stating an opinion about what they would do with the money if it were theirs does not, to me, necessarily denote jealousy on their part. Maybe its just their opinion. It doesn’t mean they do or don’t give to charity themselves.
Jill – I’m referring to a few comments above that that applies to.
Not the ones who say they’d have given to something else – the ones that feel negative that Karen got anything at all that I take issue with – saying it’s a negative that she benefited in any way for “not doing anything” about being bullied, and other negative reasons. It’s just more bullying of the woman as I see it.
Also let it just be said we ‘deserve’ very little in life, but sometimes we get lucky and we’re allowed to experience an outpouring of support from total strangers that changes our life.
This woman believed this was just her life.
Day in and day out being tormented by these little brats and that was it. Others who had been there or just HATED the thought of an older woman (seriously, even if you are an evil brat have you NO standards?) suffering that way wanted to aid her in some way. The fact the amount is so huge shows how rampant a problem and touching an issue this is.
I really hope this changes the position not of schools…but parents. It may be an unpopular opinion but since the advent of all this feel good parenting kids have become real monsters. Kids are by definition fairly lacking in morality , if someone doesn’t instruct them as a CHILD and instead treats them as a mini adult who will understand right and wrong after a 20 minute discussion we’re going to see more of this.
I notice none of the little snot’s has really done anything to show true regret or remorse.
I’m already repulsed after hearing the story of the 13 yr old who took a pair of scissors to a 3 yr old’s hair in a McDonald’s for no reason. Not scissors she carried with her. Not scissors from a worker at the McDonald’s. Scissors she left the McDonald’s for, WALKED across a street, went into a store, found, bought, and paid for, walked back…and cut this child’s hair.
Its getting scary out there.
She was bullied for being who she is by little vicious kids.
I really really hope that she won’t now be bullied for her money (what she should do, nagged into being this or that, pushed into doing this or that) by other people, maybe even adults.
Unfortunately, when anybody gets a public windfall like this, the scabby moochers come out to roost. Which is probably why she’ll donate a chunk and then hopefully run off the opportunists. She’s gonna need a financial advisor.
Maybe she hasn’t done anything to “deserve” the money, but let’s just celebrate the fact that there are still people in this country who have empathy and wanted to extend themselves to this woman in some way. For many, money is the best resource to do this. It’s not that odd. If it had been a different woman on that video, she would be receiving the money.
Now she can get out of that $hi!!y job!
Yes.
ITA
irish serra
“but let’s just celebrate the fact that there are still people in this country who have empathy and wanted to extend themselves”
Beautifully put. For all the people bitching about her getting this gift, I keep thinking of the poster with one candle lit that says “no matter how many candles you put out, it won’t make yours shine any brighter”.
Dear Lady: Don’t look a gift-horse in the mouth. Kudos to the saint from Toronto, Ontario. You are a prince of a man!
Regardless of the should she/shouldn’t she have the money argument, I say bless this lady. She represents what many have suffered, and if someone was kind enough to start a fund for her, so be it.
Ms. Klein has been through a lot, and she deserves some happiness.
+1
People would call her an ingrate if she turned it down.
It’s the thought that counts. None of us watching that video could take back what happened, and those who gave probably felt like that was the only way they could reach out. Money is usually readily accepted and the first thing people think to offer to those in need. What could I do, send her a box of chocolates and say cheer up?
I am totally fine with the amount of money that has been raised for her. It’s not just about her, she represents what so many kids and adults alike face, or flashback memories for those who have been bullied in the past. This isn’t about one case, she has become a symbol for the cruelty of bullying.
I think parents should take these classes with their children. As a teacher myself, parents are like 80% of the problem. They raise their children to become mediocre and entitled. That’s why I always preferred teaching college students only.
She deserves the money and I think she should sue these brats’ parents.
I think you’re right about the parents. But wrong about putting it into the already-overloaded and abused court system. Tough Love at home/school is what’s needed, not suing the parents for monetary damages where the parents have to pay out “damages” when the woman is already getting donations. That teaches the child absolutely nothing.
I think if parents had to pay this lady, they would make their children pay them back.
Kiki, I doubt it. Humility is not gotten by payout.
Anyway where are these kids going to get thousands of dollars? It would be a loooong, slow payout that most parents wouldn’t enforce and the kids wouldn’t even remember the incident if they did not learn the humility obtained by the right punishment. Court only punishes the parents, not the kids. You cannot sue a child, the parents would bear the entire burden and the kids wouldn’t learn anything.
I think hard labor in Karen’s yard and community service for a year mandated by the school board, no electronics, no team sports and no bus might put a dent in it though.
Payout of money for crime/cruelty doesn’t teach lessons.
You know what may be good gg? That these kids spend all their summers and holidays working in a home… You know, cleaning the toilets, doing laundry… They would Have to endure a difficult environment but they would be able to look right into their future… Boy, if they met my grandmother, they wouldn’t live to tell their stories 😉
You guys, I can sort of understand getting pissy about Jen aniston/angelina/leann/brandi WHOEVER ELSE we all delight in having weirdly strong opinions about, but I can’t understand begrudging this woman this money. No, she doesn’t deserve it. Stop being weird about it and just be happy that someone suffered and then felt some kind of redemption. It’s a nice story if you let it be a nice story.
I don’t feel she deserves money so I didn’t donate to her cause. She endured 10 minutes of humiliation from a bunch of punks. They did not physically abuse her. She was not systematically bullied over a lengthy period. I believe money should go to the families of people who have lost children due to bullying rather than a woman who had 10 minutes of sadness. Or how about the other people on Indiegogo who are looking for money to pay for things like kidney transplants and medical treatment?
However, people have given freely and they want her to have that money for her retirement or happy vacation. If that’s what the public wants, she should get the money. After all, that’s what the people who donated wanted.
You’re right, she deserves at least half an hour of sadness before getting paid. Are you joking? The kids should be held accountable, but to say that she didn’t suffer “enough” is ridiculous. You can’t measure hurt that way. Her son committed suicide; I’d say she ranks with those who have lost children to the same.
She was being bullied on a daily basis every time she rode the bus with those children.
They didn’t wake up one day and decided to threaten her with violence.
They had been torturing her for a while. One of the little punks just decided to post it online as a trophy and then this is what happened.
Gossip Girl, why don’t you donate to those causes you’ve just named – that would be a very nice thing to do.
People would have not donated money to this sweet old lady if they did not want HER to have it. No one was forced. So why is it anyone else’s business? I think people are just jealous that she is getting money from a horrible situation. She did not ask for the money. It is Hers now!!!!
This kids are horrible little snots that deserve to get expelled from school and kicked off the school bus for the entire year. In my school district, if your child causes problems on the bus, they are not permitted to ride the bus anymore. It is up to the bus driver.
I would make these kids apologize in person and then perform community service for the rest of the summer. I would ground them for an entire year…take away their computers, phone and games. Teach them a lesson now while they are young enough to change before it is too late.
I lived through years of abuse in school (It IS abuse, and I want to yell at people who use ‘bullying’ like it’s interchangeable with ‘teasing’) and I’m not disabled and struggling financially. I don’t begrudge this lady anything. It’s not about deserving.
I can see how she might struggle with the feeling of ‘deserving’ this, but it’s essentially a (global) community outpouring of support that happens to take on the form of money.
It means that – as I write this – over 30 000 people are saying ‘I see you, you matter, I really want to give you a hug, but instead I am giving you something practical and tangible that will improve your life’.
An army of people who each individually decided that it was worth something to them to show this lady that they care. THEY think she deserves this, and that’s all that matters. I can’t see how anybody could be outraged about something so beautiful.
It means that – as I write this – over 30 000 people are saying ‘I see you, you matter, I really want to give you a hug, but instead I am giving you something practical and tangible that will improve your life’.
There’s a lot of comments here that I agree with, but yours was really beautifully stated. +1!
deleted
This woman kind of reminds me of the study hall monitors I had in middle school a little over ten years ago. They also worked as door monitors after the Columbine shooting for “security” even though my school didn’t need them. They just sat at a table all day not doing much of anything. They were overweight middle-aged women. No one insulted them and posted a video of it on the internet but we all agreed they were getting paid to do a whole lot of nothing even though they got low wages.
Basically all low paying jobs suck. An elderly woman bagged my groceries yesterday. This woman could always do that if she doesn’t like her current job. Just like dealing with asshole customers comes with working retail, dealing with asshole kids comes with being a school bus monitor.
And because of people like you Lisa, and those “asshole kids” that “overweight middle-aged women” (although 65 is a bit beyond middle age) Karen Klein is $650,000+ richer! My you are a gem indeed.
All the volunteer lunch monitors we had were lazy as hell, too. A lot of them were retirees who popped their head in every now and then and had selective hearing and vision. That’s my main gripe: they heard and saw what they wanted, and it was when it suited THEM. Not when we actually needed it.
Nothing against retired people or Karen, but if you’re going to sign up for something, make sure you’re capable.
Lisa you will never convince me that another human being, trying to be productive in life, is deserving of scorn, ridicule and disdain for simply being a human of the treatment that those little shits did and said to her.
The only incapable people involved in this story are those sorry ass kids, their sorry ass parents and people that make excuses for them both.
Basically Lisa, “all” low paying jobs don’t suck. Lots of people find fulfillment, joy, and friendship in their work even if the pay is low. And just because one works with children or in retail doesn’t mean she should suffer because of it.
Oh, and maybe your lunchroom monitors sensed your collective disdain for them and figured you wouldn’t listen to them anyway! 😉 Just sayin’ —sometimes we get back what we put out there.
ITA! If you have a crappy, sneering attitude to those you deem “beneath you” that’s absolutely what you get back. I used to sell concessions at the city park earning a buck an hour to help my parents and to help pay for college. Now I’m a senior manager at a technology company and I do not feel ANYONE is beneath me because they don’t have an “important” job. ALL jobs are important! For those who sneered about Ms. klein’s job, try it yourselves for a couple of days. The amount of sheer pomposity of some posters here is astounding, and not in a good way.
Well said Bab! We all squat the pot the same oui? (the oui is paying hommage to Marie A’s excellent post)
Merci mon ami, 🙂 Oui!
You will notice that as of yet, the actual school district has done nothing. I’ve been a teacher for many years; what that woman showed in terms of restraint was incredible. I have extremely good management skills in my classroom (I’ve learned a lot from great teachers) and help the newer teachers with management as well. Those boys were not just being rude but going for the jugular and there was just so much she could do. She’s an elderly woman; what they’re supposed to do is keep an eye out for bullying, etc. There’s not much precedent for being threatened to get cut and raped and all the things she was threatened with- if she went back at them, she’d have lost her job. They shot themselves in the foot: first bullying her, then taping it because they were proud of what they did, then posting it because they were REALLY pleased with what they did and then getting caught. If there wasn’t a trail of evidence that they were arrogant enough to provide, they would have blamed and accused her. Bank on it. Follow up with this story- all the kids have done is write lame sorry notes. Nothing has happened to them.
Do you really think the school system will do nothing to those kids? I haven’t heard anything yet but I thought they were just taking time to form committees, have meetings, all those kinds of tedious things and then the decisions will be announced. No?
Surely the school cannot ignore this after all this national publicity. That would be a terrible message! They need to be denied bus privileges for months at the very least.
There are some really shitty mean people on this planet…and the age range is non-discriminating.
@Chatcat…I agree
If I had a dollar for everytime a mean teacher bullied my asperger child…
Virginia Beach schools are infected with impatient, cruel teachers.
Mooshi
Bless you and your beautiful child! I am sorry your child and you are subjected to such nimwits…but there are those of us who have your back!!!!!
Chatcat
Right back atcha (hugs)
🙂 with a wink!
She obviously wasn’t qualified for this job, that much is obvious. It’s not really criticism–it’s just reality. She is old and tired and just doing this job for the money. The kids took advantage of that. This type of job requires a person who can keep children in line–I would go with a man in his late twenties and early thirties.
I was a bus monitor for three years on a bus for a camp. It was a small bus and for the most part I had good kids. But I knew how to be a beech and make the kids follow the rules. I had one mother who didn’t tip me at the end of the summer because her awful son obviously complained about me and told her I “picked” on him (he was obnoxious and loud and so mean to the other campers on the bus–he made his own sister cry). Considering all other parents tipped me, I wasn’t the bully in this case. The idiot kid was. Some parents live in denial.
If I had a dollar for every student who called my mom a bitch, we’d be living high off the hog. lol. A lot of teachers and principals are afraid to be beeyatches because they’re afraid of the parents. It can’t be like that.
I gave her money because I couldn’t give her a hug and because I thought about how I would feel if it were my grandmother in that situation, not only having to work at that age but also being abused while doing so. I also gave because one never knows what is going to happen especially when you’re that age.
My grandmother was only a few years older than her when she had a stroke and although she had some cushions, the cost of medical care was astronomical. If my giving can contribute to this woman being able to retire if she wants, being able to care for herself and her family, and/or being to care for others, I’m glad. This is not the only giving that I have done or will do, and no, I will never be “ashamed” for helping another living being.
@Carolina “I gave her money because I couldn’t give her a hug” POST OF THE DAY no doubt.
There is enough people to be ashamed of in the world honey are YOU are not one of them! 🙂
You exhibit something that is not being taught and is fully evident when people say she does’nt deserve the money….EMPATHY!
As for her saying she doesn’t deserve it, great, she’s not an entitled asshole! No one deserves a gift, thats not why its given. A gift is an expression of the giver’s feeling, usually thanks, appreciation or sympathy. For anyone to scoff at a gift, especially at a gift not meant for you, is assholian of Lohan proportions!
Carolina that was beautifully said.
It is hard to raise your children to be tender and empathetic. I used to read my son books like “All I See is Part of Me” ( a book about how we all have the same light shining insided of us). I taught him all people are stars shining in their own way and in their own beauty.
My son took those lessons to heart and carried them to school, only to be ripped to SHREDS by teachers and cruel children who were not taught the same things I taught him. I cannot count how many nights I rocked him to sleep while he cried so confused at why the world was so cruel when I taught him people were so beautiful.
Now my gifted asperger child is 17, terrified of going to college or even trying to get a job. This is a child that was building my friends websites at the age of 9 years old. (I am not kidding).
He spends his time studying world events, ancient gnostic poetry, world religions, metaphysics and web development ALONE in his room.
Yes…..bullying can have horrible effects on beautiful, loving people.
Mooshi…you have given your son a precious legacy of love and compassion. Although there are the shitty mean people of the world I mentioned in an early post, there are far more good, brave, tough people…you have to look no further then your own front yard! Every child should be gifted with a mother like you and every mother gifted with a child such as your son~
Wow, you made me cry. Much love to you and all the gentle people like you.
Big smiles. You are a lovely lighthouse. Keep beaming!!!
Mooshi…Thank you~ It takes one to know one! BIG 🙂
I do hope your son will go to college. There are usually lots more ‘eccentric’ people there and I’m sure there are colleges where he fits right in.
I think I can speak for all of us at Celebitchy when I wish you lots of good luck. You are a great person and so is your son!!
@ Flan
See…..this is what I taught my son!!
Thankyou sooo much for being such another bright spark!
Thanks for calling me another spark; what a nice thing to be called 🙂
Kids with asperger are often genuinely very nice and compassionate people (and smart). The ‘problem’ is that they express it in ways that non-asperger people often find weird, weak or insincere.
I hope your son will choose the kind of major that suits his interests, because there are bound to be others to share his interests with. Hopefully he will be able to allow others to know that wonderful world that is his mind.
Mooshi, I have an almost 13-year-old Aspie son and I fear for him every day, as I think (and everyone has warned me) that middle school and high school years are the worst. He has encountered some mild bullying and the saddest part is he seems to accept it for the most part, as if it’s the way of the world. But mostly he works hard to stay under the radar and to basically survive. He, too, spends much of his time alone.
I am so sorry for what your son — and you — have had to endure. I have to believe, however, that he is past the worst…and that just around the corner is a life filled with people who will embrace him for who he is and that finally he will be able to truly shine.
It’s pretty bad that middle school and high school are things to get through, and not a time when a kid can just live and evolve.
There’s something really wrong with a system where so many kids feel left out. All the homecoming, cheerleading, jock stuff seems to me not to encourage unity, but to exclude people.
Perhaps there are some schools where they embrace more diversity in your region? I’m not saying he should transfer there immediately, but it might be a relief for you to know about it, so you know there’s a way out if the bullying gets more intense. If you want to keep him in this school as long as possible, then don’t tell him about it, but it might help you feel less apprehensive about the future.
Mooshi, you just made me tear up myself. I have a beautiful 3-year-old little boy, who is acutely aware of the world around him already, and who is already starting to ask questions about why someone seems sad, or why that person is yelling, etc. I’m trying so hard to find a way to raise him to be full of compassion for others and hope and contentment. But I worry so much about how cruel and unkind the world can be. I think your son is lucky to have you for a mother, and I truly hope that he finds a way to use his talents and find a place in the world.
And for all the meanies griping that this poor old woman doesn’t deserve the money… Well, your coldness and lack of perspective are part of the problem.
See Mooshi…this is what it is all about! All of these other wonderful people, some blessed like yourself with their own wonderful child, finding each other! Bullies and shitty mean people don’t stand a chance. 🙂
Fist pump with tears!!!!
All my love to you Chatcat for rekindling my flame. You are awesome.
I hear you. I didn’t have to teach my daughter about empathy, she came into the world tender hearted, gentle, and giving. If I gave her candy she looked first for who she could share it with. Of course she had her faults as well but lack of empathy was never one of them.
I was very proud of her kindness and sensitivity to others, but in hindsight I now know I sent her to school a lamb among lions. Believe me, she got an education all right. It toughened her up, and not always in ways I was happy about. I often think the public school system is sytematic child abuse. Not blaming or pointing fingers at anyone but large groups of children often teach your child things you never wished they’d learn. But that’s the world and there is no preventing some forms of peer pressure. I wish there was a better way…
Lindy and Esmom.
Dont give up. Dont let the schools swallow your children and dont let your child EVER give up hope that we are all beautiful (even when we dont act that way).
And to Esmom, Aspie children are insanely observant. They understand and watch all of us eventhough they are labled “socially autistic”
My son told me this “Mommy you can change how you act for each person you talk to…..I watch you and it makes me uncomfortable. I dont know how to be anything other than myself. How do you do it?”
We all wear masks and sensitive children and aspies cant lie or manipulate. Thats what makes them so beautiful. But they watch us do it and that makes them a target and it makes them afraid.
My best advice. Get your sensitive and aspie kids OUT of public schools in whatever way you can. I found out later if you can prove the school is abusive (like when they used to put my GIFTED son in isolation for just saying the teacher was incorrect)…..the school can be sued and forced to PAY for the child to go to a school that is equiped for their advanced intellectual needs.
If I knew then what I know now….
Keep your beacons burning bright!
Thanks Mooshi and right back at ya. You are correct about our kids being highly observant…I often tell the school it’s one of my son’s biggest strengths.
Believe me we are watching his situation closely, and we are lucky to have a team at school that’s got his back. However, he wants to handle this on his own. Sigh.
I often lament about how we have to work so hard to help our kids fit the mold society expects of them…when in reality it probably should be the other way around. We should be the ones learning from them.
Karen is a beautiful woman and I wish much peace and happiness….the little Bast$@^&%ds that did this to her should be publically flogged.
it ‘s just going to backfire, it’s not going to make any difference to just throw a bunch of money at this woman who nobody even knows. she’s not going to enjoy it, she’ll feel too guilty in the long run because she doesn’t deserve it. she deserves a hug. this is just a fluke that was caused by the internet and too many people getting all emotional while sitting comfortably behind their desks. it is totally horrendous what those boys did, but it’s quite common, as many people have said. that is partly why she did nothing. i’ve done nothing at times and been accused of being mealy mouthed, not graceful. this video was all too familiar, this happens to countless people everyday, all day. she is not the only one. they won’t let her go back to that job! she doesn’t know what to do about bullying let alone what to do with that money, it’s like winning a lottery for her, sorry, but she can do whatever she wants with the money, and people are free to do whatever they want, that doesn’t make it wise!
@ JackieO is probably one of the mothers of these crappy little street urchins. Remember, these apples fell off of the tree at home..so along with apologies, how bout the parents of these children go through intense psychological counseling and maybe sensitivity training? Maybe @Jackie O can go with? Ignorance is Bliss/
We’re a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with useful information to work on. You’ve performed a formidable task and our whole group will probably be thankful to you.
@Chatcat — if that reply was for me, I’m another Lisa. I don’t believe for a second that anyone is deserving of ridicule, least of all the ones who place themselves at the mercy of the mismanaged education system. My comment to the first Lisa was just about my own experiences w/ lunch monitors who failed to stand up for me and other kids when I was at school.
Maybe you should think about it this way; if you switched places with Karen & all of this money was being given to you, would you take it? She just said she had 8 effing grandkids, & all of these people WANTED her to have the money, so what is the big deal? People like to donate money KNOWING it will make a difference. Giving this money to Karen, it reassures them that their donation will change the life of someone else.
no, I wouldn’t want to take it. and something similar like this happened to my late father who recently passed away, except the story happened before the internet was around. he gave all the money back and he was called a gentleman and a scholar. of course, she is an older woman, and receptive than a man. well, she has a right to do whatever she desires. people gave this money to her free and clear to enjoy her senior years.
hey there and thanks to your info – I’ve definitely picked up anything new from proper here. I did alternatively expertise a few technical points the usage of this site, since I experienced to reload the web site lots of occasions previous to I may get it to load correctly. I have been considering in case your web hosting is OK? No longer that I am complaining, Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for a lot more of your respective interesting content. Ensure that you update this once more very soon..