Lindsay Lohan wants to do a crackie remake of ‘Thelma & Louise’ with J-Law

These are photos of Lindsay Lohan leaving (guess!) the Chateau Marmont on Saturday night. Pacific Coast News described the photos this way: “Actress Lindsay Lohan looking a little worse for wear after an evening of partying was seen getting into the driving seat of her Porsche while smoking a cigarette at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood.” Um, “a little worse for wear”? Masters of understatement. Once again, I think we just have to get used to the fact that THIS is her face now. I would like to know just how crackie you have to be before you start applying your makeup to look like this – like a deranged, out-of-control whore-clown. She’s like something out of Stephen King’s nightmares. Oh, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD she needs to stop getting behind the wheel. Jesus, literally (!) take the wheel.

Meanwhile, LL decided to pitch a film remake to her Twitter followers after what I can only assume was a mountain of blow. Lindsay’s idea: to remake Thelma & Louise with Jennifer Lawrence! But crackie thinks the remake would be better “ala Natural Born Killers (style wise) 2 girls-2 guys.”

[Via Lindsay’s Twitter]

Crackie Von Cracks-A-Lot basically wants to make a p0rno with Jennifer Lawrence in which they take a roadtrip and take turns boning each other’s boyfriends. And if I was advising Jennifer Lawrence, I would just tell her to ignore it completely. Don’t even bother to respond negatively, because Lindsay will just latch on to it. Just don’t even engage.

I guess Lindsay is feeling special these days because she’s been “working” so much. So far this year she’s had a cracked-out appearance on Glee, she barely managed to get through a month-long shoot for Lifetime’s Liz & Dick, and she’s been filming The Canyons with p0rn star James Deen. Someone posted this photo of Deen and Lohan “in bed” together during a scene. Even in a blurry camera-phone shot, her face still looks so incredibly jacked.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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121 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan wants to do a crackie remake of ‘Thelma & Louise’ with J-Law”

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  1. TheOriginalTiffany says:

    Hide your kids, hide your wives!
    Cracken on the loose, damn am I glad im not driving out late in Hollywood.

    • Izzy says:

      OTiff, cracking up at your avatar pic. Pun intended.

      JLaw is too classy to work with The Cracken, and too sensible. Jeebuz, it is WAY too early for cracktinis. I need at least another hour before I start mixing the drinks.

      Hmmm, I wonder what’s in her cup in the photo? “Water,” I’m sure.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Mix away, it is Monday morning! 😉
        Seriously I followed that van a block to get that shot. It is a company that eradicates cracks, maybe they do Crackens as well, shall I call? I had to have the pic just for my gravatar.

        Monday’s are our Saturday’s, so bring on the tinis!

      • Cathy says:

        It’s never to early for a cracktini my friend. Belly up to the bar.

      • Izzy says:

        OK, this week is officially off to a much better start than last week, at least for me professionally. No crazies this Monday – only Crackens, and thankfully I don’t live in L.A., so I’m safe on the streets.

        Pass me a Cracktini, please…

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Please add me to the cracktini guzzling list.

  2. Mich says:

    I just can’t get past the pictures to care about the story. Girlfriend is not looking good. What the f is going on with her eyebrows?

    On the other hand, my elderly mother will be pleased to know that her hideous shade of coral lipstick has a new fan.

    • cupidityrox! says:

      It is an awful colour. Yuck

    • Little Darling says:

      Eyebrows? I couldn’t even get past the drawn on clown lips that clearly don’t even match her very inflated lip lines!

    • OhMyMy says:

      It looks like she’s still wearing the last makeup application done for the L&D movie.

      Did they just tattoo it on her face to save time?

    • RocketMerry says:

      It’s not much the lipstick as, say, her LIPS.

      Dear God, what is she doing the herself…?!
      I mean, is she actually injecting CRACK directly in her lips now?
      Is that a new thing, to get the stuff into cirlutation?
      Does that give some sort of slow release, so that every times she opens her mouth a little bit of crack enters the blood flow?
      Is that why she her mouth is ALWAYS open? Uuuuuh, I’ll bet you it is! That explains so much.

    • Kimlee says:

      “Whatever happened to Baby Jane” I think we found her. Lol

      They really do resemble each other.

      http://mycatmabel.blogspot.com/2011/12/whatever-happened-to-baby-jane.html

    • gg says:

      Have mercy – she looks 60!

      The drawn cupid’s-bow lip shape is fail, honey. Just don’t. It looks like those wax lips you get at Halloween.

      • Aussie girl says:

        Yes they do do look like those Halloween lips. I didn’t think she could look any worse & then she proves me wrong.

  3. brin says:

    Gee…speak of the cracken devil…just mentioned her on the Tara Reid post. Those two are peas in the same cracked out pod.
    She should make Thelma & Louise with Tara.

    • Kimbob says:

      Yes, a remake of Thelma & Louise starring Crackie and Tara Reid…..THAT’S believable.

      @brin, you’ve definitely managed to pigeon-hole exactly where Crackie belongs in the acting hierarchy….at the bottom alongside Tara Reid.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      brin – Hi! It could be a “reality documentary,” where cameras follow them around on their drunken/crackie adventures; and when they get into legal trouble (they’d have to kill someone or smoke weed, since it’s filming in LA County – you know how THEY are about “stars”) they go on the run!

      BEAUTIFUL. 😀

    • gg says:

      I don’t know why nobody’s signed her up for one of those terrible reality shows. Even Honey Boo-Boo Chile has a white trash reality show.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        gg – Maybe Honey BooBoo Chile is more reliable and better behaved?

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        I haven’t seen The Soup in far too long, I forgot that existed. Looks like I have to back-viewing to do (of The Soup, not Boo-Boo).

      • gg says:

        The whole Honey BooBoo family makes me want to run and hide. After screaming.

  4. SofiaR says:

    I feel sorry for her, It’s just pathetic and sad now.

    • bagladey says:

      It really is very sad. All the potential that she had, smh.

    • TexTRex says:

      Sofia: “… and sad now”. NOW? Have you been in a coma for 3 years?

      Just kidding with you. She just stop sinking lower and lower. STILL sas and pathetic!

  5. marie says:

    Her face looks like it’s melting, I bet she smells bad too..

    • some bitch says:

      YES! “Is her face melting off the bone?” was my first question.

      • keats says:

        Mine was…’the left side of her face is melting up. Can things melt up?’ Her face is defying the laws of physics!

    • mia girl says:

      In these pics she looks like Lara Flynn Boyle did just as her face been to morph into the crazy, sad thing it is today. Seriously Lohan is one injection away from a complete facial meltdown.

      • gg says:

        It’s the eyebrows. Either she’s shaved them off and redrawn them, or she’s just stuck on “suspicious”.

    • Jennifer says:

      Whenever I see a picture of her I think the same thing, “She looks like she smells.”

  6. Sisi says:

    and that nose… sheesh

    • Cleveland Girl says:

      I KNOW! What in all that is holy is going on with her nose??? It looks like it went on a diet – why is it so skinny???

      • serena says:

        When you snort coke all day and night for years..well, I think that’s what your nose will look like. ugh

      • the original bellaluna says:

        CG – Her nasal cartilage has been eaten up by the stuff she snorts, resulting in the collapse of her nose.

  7. Masque says:

    More like Thelma and Puh-leeze.

  8. Cleveland Girl says:

    When she applied that ridiculous make up she must have thought it was a brilliant idea to give herself a manicure also. That silver polish looks like it was applied by a toddler.

  9. I.want.shoes says:

    Re: Thelma & Louise remake, although she’s delusional about the costar she should have, the movie genre (crack p0rn) is correct.

  10. samira677 says:

    What’s sad is this is the best she’s look in a long time. I don’t think she’s really serious about remaking Thelma and Louise. At least I’m praying she’s just joking. Why on Earth does she think Jennifer Lawrence would want to work with her.

  11. paola says:

    I truly believe she wants to ruin every happy memory of deceased divas and iconic movies. now if she could make the Titanic remake as well i think this time Rose should die and Jack should live.

  12. gee says:

    I feel bad for Jennifer Lawrence.. every hot mess is trying to jump on her bandwagon. First John Mayer, now Linnocent.

  13. Jackie O says:

    she looks like the joker.

  14. Jacq says:

    It would be more “a la Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas,” but that’d be too obvious…

    • Flora Kitty says:

      Not HST too. First Marilyn Monroe & Elizabeth Taylor, now Dr. Thompson, too. He was not a crackie. He was a controlled substance enthusiast.

  15. C.Lynn says:

    I could believe her in a remake of “2 girls 1 cup”.

  16. some bitch says:

    Those sunken eyes look sore. They make me want to go take a nap for her.

  17. Ming says:

    *1 billion opportunities of Susan Sarandon jokes*

    *1 billion tears of dissapointment, no chance in hell SamRo can play Tim Robbins*

    *f-ck than make this baseball movie remake*

  18. lucy2 says:

    Yeah, that’ll happen. Right after Snookie and Helen Mirren do a buddy cop movie.

  19. INeedANap says:

    Every time I read about “The Canyons” I read it as “The Crayons” — which, frankly, sounds like a fantastic movie about killer crayons come to life.

    • Anname says:

      I do the same thing, everytime!!

      Crayons… I like your idea about the killer crayons though, lol!

      • gg says:

        I would check that out. Do they still make those giant toddler crayons – the hard ones that look like cigars?

  20. Aria says:

    OMG! Who did her makeup? Just awful! Looks like a clown.

  21. Krock says:

    Who keeps giving her porches???

  22. Anna says:

    What fascinates me at this point is how she still manages to wear falsies. I can’t imagine she’s smart or motorically stable enough to apply them properly, so how on earth did they get on her eyes? Maybe as a beauty blogger I’m overthinking this 😀
    And yes, she needs to stop driving, stat. But as you’ve said so often here on CB, they won’t even consider taking her license away until she actually kills someone. Sadly, I believe that’s very real possibility.

  23. Cathy says:

    I read on the Daily Mail the other day that she had to agree to a whole bunch of conditions to get that part in the canyons. They originally wanted to give her part to someone else (who didn’t want it and didn’t even bother to show up for the screen test)and only give the cracken a cameo in it. The cracken had to screentest, finish Liz and Dick on time, and take a salary cut, agree to appear nude and so on and so forth. BWAHAHAHAHAHA…do they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into. Cracktini time.

    • Kimlee says:

      Even with all the conditions was it worth it Lindsay is not going to bring anything to the movie. A no name crack whore off the street would do more for this movie then Lindays ever could.

      I mean really what do they hope to gain from it.

  24. lower-case deb says:

    Did someone tell her that she looks good in exaggerated Lizpatra eye-makeup, possibly as a prank, and Lohan bought it?

    I think she’s easily susceptible.

    After playing Liz, she’s now all Liz-like. (eye-make up, twitter profile pic).

    Now, as she’s starring in The Pornyons, everything is 2-girls-2-guys, that’s all she can see. Give her any kind of movie script and that’s all she can see, I bet.

    Also, seems like this J-Law thing is her way to insinuate herself in any convo possible. can’t wait to see which rising star or boxoffice film LL’s going to hijack to shift light to herself.

    gurl, pleaseeeee.

  25. serena says:

    I don’t even have anymore words to describe her face.
    Really a 50years old cracked and botoxed trans-hooker. Her skin is freaky, seriously she need a good mirror.

    Can’t even look at her lips anymore. ugh.

  26. DanaG says:

    On the positive side of things Lindsay would do great driving a car over a cliff. Maybe that is why she likes the idea of doing a thelma and louise remake. As for her face whatever she has done it will only get worse. It’s sad what she has done to herself. But that doesn’t really excuse her for that awful lipstick and crappy makeup in general.

  27. really says:

    If the investigation into her last accident is ongoing by police, and if all evidence is pointing to her being at fault and (in the least) lying to the police, then shouldn’t her license be suspended – especially given her record?

  28. logan says:

    I think Miz Lowhan has taken this new style of face painting up for a reason. It’s so we can tell the difference between her and her twin “Octo Mom”. Birds of a feather those two are. Octo Mom will do anything to support her kids, so she says. And the Cracken will do anything to support her habits. Twins they are. Hey maybe Lindsay can star in the Octo Mom Story. Just sayin.

  29. bagladey says:

    Or she could make a movie about twins and co-star with Phoebe Price.

  30. Boo says:

    Isn’t wearing makeup like that a sign that someone is in some sort of mental crisis? Like a manic episode where she cannot see any bits of reality clearly and everything must be larger than life to match how great she feels about herself? Do we think she is bi-polar?

    Another theory is that she feels she is overdue for the lip injectables and so is wearing her lip color outside the lines to fool us into thinking her lips are as big as she wants them to be. How’s that working?

    Or, of course, both could be true at the same time. In any event, when she shows up “on set,” do they take her into the bathroom and hose her down before they let her around the other actors? Can you imagine trying to shoot THAT and sell it as sexy fun? And you KNOW she is butting in, telling everyone how it should be done because she is such a pro! In between puffs of her cigarette and slugs from her “water” bottle, I’ll just bet she is schooling everyone.

    • Sugar says:

      everything you said- too funny. The images of the hose down LOL!
      but what’s not funny is the manic makeup & manicure:/ she along with the rest of us has to see these pictures and realize the horror of it all!?! no…ok

  31. maggiegrace says:

    nice nail ppolish

  32. Jazz says:

    She looks exactly like Endora…Samantha’s mother on Bewitched. AND Endora was a grandmother of two, a witch and a bitch!

    As my mother used to say: “All her taste is in her mouth”. And what an ugly mouth it is!
    Actually, her whole face is hideous.

  33. ramona says:

    She’s starting to look how Winehouse did before she passed away.

  34. Waldemar says:

    Ooohhh, I thought she wanted to make a movie with Jude Law. Granted, this sounds just as hilarious and stupid.

  35. LAK says:

    i have to remind myself that JLaw is Jennifer Lawrance rather than Jude Law.

    That is all.

  36. Minxx says:

    Good Grief! How long before she starts applying lipstick all over her face? Sad, sad story just waiting to happen here…

  37. BW says:

    I misread the tweet because of the way it wrapped:

    2 girls – 2
    cups

  38. Veronica says:

    Kinda funny that HE is the porn star but yet she is the one that seems oh so dirty

  39. Lindy says:

    Crackie needs to leave that movie the hell alone!! I love that movie, and the last thing the world needs is a remake starring her drug-addled self.

    • skuddles says:

      Agreed! Lohan would totally taint the memory of the original. I would never be able to bring myself to watch it, that’s for damn sure…

  40. skuddles says:

    I think Lohan should hold out for a part where the character loses her sh*t on drugs and booze, repeatedly crashes cars, lies to everyone all the time, gets arrested umpteen times, has a batshit crazy family, destroys her looks and health, prostitutes herself to rich pigs, etc etc etc. Your basic nutso nightmare. Oh wait… she’s already living that role. Never mind 🙂

  41. Bess says:

    I think the Cracken knows her career as a legitimate actor is over. She’s just putting on a front.

    Other than porn, the only thing that face is good for are marginal roles like “drug-addicted sister-in-law”, crack hustler and “patient on gurney.”

  42. dizzy says:

    Oh, gurl, JenLaw don’t care.

  43. joan says:

    why would anyone want to work with her?? she is trainwreck.

    On a side note, why doesn’t Jennifer go to teen awards?? she needs to show a little appreciation for the fans, she didn’t go to mtv, and now the TCA’S, does she think she is too good to go to them?

  44. Jennifer12 says:

    Please tell me no one would let Lohan near a classic movie like “Thelma and Louise”. It doesn’t need to be redone at all, much less by a crackhead.

  45. I Choose Me says:

    Urm…stares at her face. O_o

    Ooh chile is this what you’ve come to? I have no words.

  46. A says:

    Lilo is such a fucking mess. It’s hard to believe she is only 26. It’s sad and frustrating that she tossed away a great life, her health, and her looks on hard drugs.

  47. Judy says:

    Stop with the “looks 50ish” thing already! I’m 53 and look MUCH younger than my age. Most of us do!

    • Penguin says:

      I agree with u. My 51 yr old mother looks better than this girl. To compare her 2 a 45 to 50 something is offensive 2 every1 in that age bracket.

    • gg says:

      Correct – we all look fresher than this. I say she looks in her 60s.

    • erika says:

      THANK YOU very much Judi!

      where I myself just turned 40, I have been having a near hissy fit when it comes to lilo and 40! Do I need to send jpg proof?

      I pointed out, I’ll do it AGAIN- Lilo does NOT look like shes 40,50,60,70,or 90 even 104 yrs!

      she looks like Hell- and that’s due to years of heavy chain smoking, drinking, coke (and I’d guess some other stuff), late nights, hungover days…

      It’s not ‘she looks like….” (fill in the blanks) SHE LOOKS like an mentally/emotionally/physicaly/toxic-ly damaged drug, alcohol, nicotine, prescription drugs self centered, self AND DRUG fulfilling terribly LOST WOMAN!

      there…end of the ageism.

      • Boo says:

        YAY, Erika! And the others on this thread! She looks like shit for ANY age. And women who hit 40 or 50 or 60 do NOT look like this, ever! The exception would be the ladies who have similar problems that have nothing to do with age. My grandmother, an alcoholic herself, used to dye her hair jet black (she was in her 70s at the time), powder her face bone white, and smear red lipstick on to complete the look. We didn’t say, “Boy, she looks old!” We said, “Boy, she looks crazy!”

  48. claire says:

    Ugh. So depressing. One thing the total trainwrecks featured on this site have in common, is their families care more about pimping them out, and living off their money, than about their child’s mental health. At this point, Lindsay reminds me of Anna Nicole Smith in the videos that came out after her death. It’s not a pretty sight. And her family just doesn’t seem to care.

  49. e.non says:

    why do her hands/fingers always look so dirty and discolored.

    ugh.. gawd, what she must smell like.

  50. the original bellaluna says:

    WHAT IDIOT KEEPS ALLOWING HER TO DRIVE PORSCHES?!?!?!?!?!? What happened to the agreement amongst auto dealers/rentals that she could ONLY DRIVE Yogos or Festivas?

    As for her future movie aspirations, she’s reached them. Expect to see her next as Jane Doe #2 or 3 on SVU (IF she’s lucky) or in some SyFy movie.

    Other than porn, that’s all that’s left.

    • skuddles says:

      Ah but no doubt Porsche has a crew of crash inspectors on standby, waiting for that call.

      Lohan may have a promising new career ahead of her… as Porsche’s next crash test dummy 😉

  51. My Darling Pinkett says:

    Stay away J-Law! 😮

  52. juju says:

    Her lips are going to burst !!!!!!!!

  53. kellyinseattle says:

    She was such a cute little girl.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Yes but, like kittens and puppies, cute little kids grow up into full-sized vodka (water!)-swigging, substance-snorting, pill-popping, dysfunctional adults.

      No, my cats and dogs have not been vodka-swilling, substance-snorting, pill-popping, dysfunctional pets.

      Generally speaking.

      To my knowledge.

  54. Faye says:

    I’d watch that. I’d get crazy drunk first and laugh and laugh and laugh…

  55. erika says:

    no, she’s not going to do a remake of Thelma n’ Louise…NO!

    That movie is an anthem for women’s liberation! That was MY movie in college! It made me feel so mega! I chopped my hair off, dumped the cheating boyfriend!

    NO NO NO! Lilo is not women’s liberation…she don’t burn bra’s she burns up the CRACK PIPE!!!

  56. Bread and Circuses says:

    “Lindsay would very much like it if you’d bid on this item as a gift.”

    She’s a hustler. This time she’s hustling for a big-impact role instead of a $20,000 bracelet.

  57. Anastacia Beaverhouzen says:

    its NOT thelma & louise style if you add two dudes blek—- the cracken needs to watch FREEWAY 2:confessions of a trickbaby