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Kellan Lutz knows that Kaiser usually writes the Kellan Lutz stories around here, but it has come to Kellan Lutz’s attention that writing in the manner that Kellan Lutz speaks (and here’s where it all began for Kellan Lutz) gives Kaiser a headache. As it happens, Kellan Lutz has no problem with Kaiser giving Kellan Lutz the shaft as long as somebody else ends up writing about Kellan Lutz instead. Because Kellan Lutz knows that you have a burning desire to hear any and all developments in Kellan Lutz’s professional and personal lives, and so the Kellan Lutz news must continue unabated.
Kellan Lutz is very much looking forward to Kellan Lutz’s titular turn in the Tarzan movie. Sadly, Kellan Lutz will not wear a loincloth in the movie because Kellan Lutz’s likeness will appear in motion capture. Kellan Lutz assumes that this technology will still leave room for Kellan Lutz’s hotness to shine through because this film is one of Kellan Lutz’s very last shots at post-Twilight relevance. Also, Kellan Lutz would like you to know that Kellan Lutz is very aware of the Fifty Shades of Grey casting rumors about Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz would like you to know that Kellan Lutz is open to this development. Here are some delicious tidbits from Kellan Lutz’s interview with Parade:
On his version of Tarzan: “It’s very modern. We have black hawk helicopters. We deal with family issues. It’s a huge movie. It’s going to look big. As an actor, [Twilight] is a blessing and allows you to be more choosy. You get tons of projects sent to you and you don’t have time to read it all. But I have a great team. They know I want to be a jet fighter or boxer or He-Man, Hercules, Flash, Aquaman — characters you want to spend time with. But Tarzan was at the top of my list.”
Will he wear a loin cloth? “[Laughs] No. For my audition, I wore a wig and walked in my underwear but I didn’t know it was going to be motion capture!”
On the 50 Shades rumors: “I’ve been hearing about that! I haven’t read the books; I need to though. The fans saw similarities between Emmett and Elliot. I don’t know much about either. I know Christian is the lead but that’s why I didn’t want to play Edward [Cullen, in Twilight]. He wasn’t really like me. I’ll trust the fans.”
[From Parade]
Kellan Lutz knows that you could possibly find the notion of Kellan Lutz spanking a nubile young girl to be quite ridiculous, but Kellan Lutz would like to remind everyone that Kellan Lutz was in the running to play Edward in Twilight. Kellan Lutz didn’t read for that role because Kellan Lutz does not like to play “depressing” characters. Kellan Lutz finds the Christian Grey character to be a downer as well; and Kellan Lutz is a positive, upbeat kind of guy, so Kellan Lutz thinks that Kellan Lutz would rather play Elliot Grey. Kellan Lutz fully plans on securing this role and then giving future interviews about how Kellan Lutz was actually considered for the Christian role, but Kellan Lutz turned it down.
Kellan Lutz also realizes that there have been no actual casting rumors about Kellan Lutz playing what Kellan Lutz considers to be a very Kellan Lutzy character in 50 Shades, so Kellan Lutz decided to start some Kellan Lutz casting news all on Kellan Lutz’s own. You want to believe this news about Kellan Lutz, no? Admit it. The power of suggestion is all in favor of Kellan Lutz.
Photos courtesy of WENN
Written by Bedhead
Posted in Delusional, Kellan Lutz
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He is really creepy looking with that mustache.
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ugh. i LOATHE him, but sadly- I *can* see him playing Elliot…
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Is Elliot Christian’s brother in the book? Remember that this book started as Twilight fanfic, so in the original version of the story, the brother would be Emmett. Which is who Kellan played un the movie. Nothing like trying to break out of your mold, Kellan.
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you’re right – and yes, Elliot is Christian’s brother…
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That is literally the only connection he has to 50 Shades. Elliot is Emmett. Not one person has said “Oh hey! I want Kellan Lutz to play Elliot” not one. There’s no rumors. With Lellan, he starts the most deluded rumores, like the Captain America one. Girl needs to sit down.
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Both him and his girlfriend are odd looking
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I desperately wish I could say ” who is kellan lutz?”
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Bedhead you are genius! That was hysterical!
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Get that couple some blotting cloths quick! I feel greasy looking at the last picture.
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He looks so creepy, all the time. Like a serial killer. *shudders*
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He looks like a peeping tom.
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He looks like he’s about to tie her to some train tracks.
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That moustache. I can’t.
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“As an actor, [Twilight] is a blessing and allows you to be more choosy. You get tons of projects sent to you and you don’t have time to read it all.”
Bwahahahahaaaa! Riggghhht…so in demand!
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“I know Christian is the lead but that’s why I didn’t want to play Edward [Cullen, in Twilight]. He wasn’t really like me. I’ll trust the fans.”
Someone should tell him that acting isn´t playing about characters who are like yourself.
He´s just so dumb.
I really like his suit though.
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I could not stop laughing while reading this. Thank you for the morning pick me up!
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Ah a Kellan Lutz post. Nice job Bedhead. I had a smile on my face the whole read through. I could have done without the pics though that moustache is seriously skeeving me out.
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What is with those eyebrows?
I have no idea who is is beyond what I read here, but he seems harmless. Very funny piece of writing.
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LOLOL oh, Kellan.
I’ll say this – Kellan is very nice to fans. I’ve seen it countless times. Out of all the Twilight people he truly is the friendliest.
BUT this whole “I didn’t want to play Edward, I almost had Robert Pattinson’s star power” needs to stop. The role of Edward was never offered to him. He never auditioned with Kristen, who was the first to be cast as soon as Hardwicke took over. 5 actors auditioned. 5. Ben Barnes, Shiloh Fernandez, Rob and other two people I can’t remember. Neither of them have the California gorilla juiced psysique that Kellan has. Kellan didn’t have a choice to be Edward and he should be happy he got to play Emmett because now we know who he is. Period. Along with Esme, he’s a glorified extra. He doesn’t matter to the story. At least Jasper gets love from fans. Emmett is nothing. Nobody cares about him.
All of these dumb rumors that he starts like the Captain America one (faaaaail) only accentuate the fact that in the end he only auditions for crap because he’s not at that level yet. Dude is cheesy as hell, he dresses horribly, he wears make up on the red carpet FFS and he has not done one good impressive thing in his career. Not one. He will never be Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Christian Bale, Henry Cavil. He has a long way to go. No need to start rumors that he read for Hercules, Aquaman and that he has a pile of scripts offeted to him and what not, because there is no way in hell he’d turn down the chance to audition for a superhero franchise for effing Tarzan.
Kellan don’t embarrass yourself. Look for good stuff you can play to actually build a solid career. You’ve done nothing yet.
Him and Ashley are so delluded. Twilight is Rob and Kristen. Nobody else. Look at Taylor, the buzz for him went as quick as it came.
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He looks like what I imagine a male version of Olivia Wilde to be.
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A beautifully written article, although one imagines the Kellan Lutz may disagree.
The idea of him as Edward makes as much sense as Laurent.
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Kellan Lutz wants you to know how “choosy” he is about the movies he is in and that he has a hundred scripts shown to him everyday but he doesn’t want to be in all of them because Kellan Lutz is giving and wants to leave room for the other actors.
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Oh Kellan. I love how Lainey takes down Kellan and Ashley. Poor Ashley keeps hustling and hustling but she’s not making it. She filmed some pilot for a TV show that wasn’t picked up and all her non-Twilight films have bombed badly (they were mainstream films, not some random obscure art house flick so that’s pretty bad). My friend summed it up once in the following manner: Natalie Portman/Emma Stone/Carey Mulligan/Jennifer Lawrence etc. are Neiman Marcus, Emma Watson/Mia W/Kristen Stewart/Evan Rachel Wood are Nordstrom, Blake Lively is Macy’s, and Ashley Greene is Wal-Mart (not even Target).
The dumb thing is, if Kellan just swallowed his pride he probably could find some decent supporting roles in cheesy action flicks….same with Taylor Lautner. But he wants to be the star, etc. …and that’s just never going to happen.
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Funny!
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