Lindsay Lohan told her dad that Dina Lohan was “on cocaine.” Sure.

To recap yesterday’s cracktastrophe and all of that, go here. Basic story: Lindsay Lohan and Dina got into a fight after a long night of clubbing, drinking, smoking and snorting. The fight started in the car and it ended up with 9-1-1 being called and Lindsay’s precious, unblemished body being RUINED by her mother’s claw (Dina scratched Lindsay – bitches should be checked for rabies). Well, a lot has happened since then. First, go here to see the super-posed photos of Dina and Lindsay saying goodbye to each other yesterday, after a long 24-hour period of crack drama. They both look like they’re ready to scratch each other’s eyes out still. So what exactly went down? Here’s what we know:

*Dina and Lindsay both spent all of Wednesday morning together in Long Island, with the police in tow. The police were probably laughing their asses off.

*While Dina and Lindsay were fighting with each other in the limo (because why not?), Lindsay called her father to complain. Oh, I’m sorry. This phone call is being billed as a “hysterical plea for help”. Yeah, it’s hysterical alright. Here’s the audio (note: I could only get about 50 seconds into it before I turned it off in disgust.)

*In the audio – which was apparently recorded by Michael Lohan – Lindsay claims Dina is “on cocaine…She’s like touching her neck, and s—t.” Lindsay also mentions (“mentions” = crack squawks) that she gave her mother $40,000 and Lindsay had asked for it back. Apparently, Dina asked for the money to save her house from foreclosure, but Lindsay NEEDED the money back (gee, I wonder why?). Lindsay also says, “She’s saying disgusting things to me … I’m dead to her now.” Somebody is calling somebody “nuts” and Lindsay says at one point, “This is what you do. You ruin people. She’s like the f–king devil right now. I have a gash on my leg from what happened.”

*Michael Lohan also made sure to give Radar an exclusive too – he says that Lindsay told Dina that Dina belongs in rehab. Hahahahahaha. If that isn’t the crackie calling the Mother Crackhead a crack monster. Michael also says that Lindsay told him that Dina is “trying to destroy her.” Sure. Why not?

So, in the end, what did we learn from all of this nonsense? That Dina is just as much of a f—king mess as her daughter, although I think we already knew that after the Dr. Phil interview, right? We also learned – in my mind, definitively – that Dina Lohan truly IS Steve Honig. If this was any other crack drama involving Lindsay and the cops, “Steve Honig” would have been all over this was some really spectacular denial. Instead, “Steve Honig” has been silent. Probably because “Steve Honig” = Mother Crackie, and Mother Crackie was talking to the cops for hours and hours.

Photos courtesy of PR Photos and Pacific Coast News.

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89 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan told her dad that Dina Lohan was “on cocaine.” Sure.”

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  1. Birdix says:

    Maybe the younger sister is the smart one for getting far far away…

  2. Mimi says:

    Dad, mom did all my cocaine again!

  3. Dawning Red says:

    It’s just PR for the Lifetime movie. I remember when Liz Taylor and her mother always used to get into fights over cocaine!

  4. Carobell says:

    Seriously though, whoever has Ali please send proof of life.

    Shouldn’t we have seen photos of her if she were really modelling in S.Korea?

  5. serena says:

    Still, this is sad -and disgusting-.

  6. Nanz says:

    Wow. Lindsay Lohan never stood a chance, did she?

  7. Riana says:


    Are there any words left? …Nope.


  8. Izzy says:

    I’m really getting tired of all the cracknanigans. I mean, it’s waaaay too early for cracktinis.

  9. dorothy says:

    Hope Ali doesn’t have a huge insurance policy. At this rate I wouldn’t put anything past Dina.

  10. NerdMomma says:

    Michael Lohan sure is an instigator. He’s enjoying all of that way too much.

  11. Cathy says:

    Bwahahahahahahahaha…OMG I just spit milk out my nose. What a pair.

  12. marie says:

    just when I thought they couldn’t get anymore pathetic.

  13. Lulu says:

    Maybe Ali got enough money together to disappear for awhile. It’s likely that her older brother is the only person who knows where she is. I don’t know- wishful thinking probably on my part. Lucky for her and the other kids, they don’t seem to register to on ‘mom’s’ radar. Probably because she is to busy trying to live the life she never had through Lindsey. Ugh.

  14. drawbackwards says:

    What father even has a recording device attached to his phone… and then sells the conversation? And this is the same guy that has a baby on the way with yet another famewhoring, unstable addict.

    Best part: “LINDSEY, SHE’S KIDNAPPING YOU!” This family… I just can’t anymore. Got me scratching my neck and sh-t.

  15. Macey says:

    I listened to that yesterday and its very clear that LL plays her parents against each other. funny how she always bad mouths her dad but when she needs bail money or is fighting w/dina, he’s the 1st one she calls. Also funny how Dina is supposedly there but not saying anything.
    she mentions that her and Micheal both gave Dina the money, I wonder how much of it was actually LL’s? I can see her taking credit for that when it was actually her brother that gave it to her. TMZ also seemed to edit out a lot of it. all you hear is LL worrying about DIna calling the cops on her and her going to jail but doesnt say why. Im not taking up for Dina in any way, she belongs in jail but we’re clearly hearing LL’s drama queen antics twisting the story(whatever that may be) to make herself the victim. I think she only called her dad b/c Dina must have been threatening to report something she did and she was worrying about being busted for it.
    Part of me actually wonders if this wasnt all plotted to try and get DIna on Celebrity Rehab. This family isnt above anything for a buck. I am really beginning to wonder if they dont make up some of this stuff just to have a story to sell to TMZ. These ppl make big bucks off this shit. Im sure they’ll all on TMZ’s payroll at this point.

  16. G says:

    This is a ploy to get themselves a reality show and a fresh start in the business once they’re all celebrity rehabbed in some way.

    The three of them are talentless, self entitled moochers.

  17. Mia says:

    My question is why the heck does Michael record his phone calls? Is that the first thing that goes through his head when his daughter calls him? God….LL never stood a chance.

    • emmieapricot says:

      For a mere second I felt sorry for Lindsay bc besides having a complete moron of a mom, her dad not only records her call but sells it to TMZ as well?? I could possibly see this as being ok (but not really) if he gave the money to Lindsay but I highly doubt that’s what happened.
      But I still don’t excuse Lindsay’s actions on account of having horrible parents. I doubt her mom dragged her to the club, a place neither of them should be and they both know that!
      All three of them are extreme idiots and in the end they all get exactly what they deserve.

    • jwoolman says:

      I think his lawyer suggested recording calls, and to be honest – I can understand why. Stories shift so fast in that family. Dina has definitely lied about him, such as on Dr. Phil. The wrong part is selling the recordings to the tabloids. But they all like to play out their dramas in public (Dina, Lindsay, and Michael Sr.).

  18. Jazz says:

    Why is she talking to the father, thought they hated each other? He must hit record whenever someone calls him. Loser.

    Some mother/daughter relationships can be complicated, but add in narcissism, an overinflated sense of entitlement, famewhoring and drugs and it’s a whole powder keg waiting to go off. Hell, they probably staged the whole thing for publicity.

  19. evadstructn says:

    The fun never ends….

  20. virginia says:

    can someone explain to me the steve honig refrence? lol

    • Kasey says:

      Steve Honig is their rep/spokesperson. Whenever something goes down he’s quick to put some unbelievable spin or twist on it. It usually comes across (to me) like Dina pays him to parrot and poach her lies to the public.

      This time not a peep has come out of their corner as if he’s been out of commission so I’m actually inclined to agree with Kaiser that Steve Honig was actually Dina’s pen name for PR. Either that or this last go round made him say “I can’t with these lying, looney Lohans!” and quit.

      • Bread and Circuses says:

        Steve Honig also reps Courtney Love, so I think he can handle himself with cracky narcissists.

        That said, he hasn’t had much to say during the past few Lohan crises, whereas he used to spin-doctor like a dynamo every time the Lindsay Lohan Schadenfruede Circus hit town.

        I wonder if he has given up.

    • Ed45 says:

      Steve Honig, her alleged publicist, always responds to the press when LL gets into trouble. It was either a misunderstanding or misinterpreted, blah, blah.

      The running joke on here is that Steve Honig is just Dina sending out the same press releases each time. Deny! Deny! Deny!

    • Lady D says:

      Bread and Circuses it’s more likely that crackie quit paying him.

  21. Stef says:

    I can’t even begin to describe how ashamed this family makes me to admit I am from Long Island.

  22. logan says:

    This whole family is so co-dependent on each other for money, fame (?), drugs, and housing it’s no wonder they haven’t turned on each other before this. Michael beats on Dina, Dina beats on Lindsay, Dina beats on Michael, round and round they go. They are so far gone that one of them is going to seriously hurt the other. This is what drugs, alcohol, lack of money, severe need for fame and a total disrespect for everything getd you. But, hey they made the front page……again!

  23. hoya_chick says:

    They are so gross. How long has Lilo been in NY? 3 weeks? 4? She has had THREE separate run-ins with the law in that small time frame! In all my life I have never called the police or had them called on me! It’s like a daily occurrence with her and her crack family. They all need to go away. Far, far away. All 3 of them are insane and are on drugs.

  24. SmokeyBlues says:

    OK I really want to talk about the neck stretching thing. First of all it cracks me up for some reason. Second of all I have no idea what it is supposed to mean. Is Dina making herself bleed? Is neck scratching a sign of cocaine induced psychosis? Is there a history of neck scratching with this family? Lol I would love some ideas as to what that comment was about!

  25. Ruby Red Lips says:

    This is just ‘a normal day in the life’ of the Lohans. That is what is so frightening & sad

  26. grabbyhands says:

    This may have been the first time in years of reading about this family’s insanity that I actually felt a little sorry for Lindsay Lohan. While no doubt this was all a result of a night of too much coke and booze with Mommy Dearest, it still sounds like she had a small moment of clarity when she told her mother that she destroys people. In the end though, both of them are raging, codependent narcissists, so I’m sure there will be some big dramatic televised reunion at some time in the future.

    • Becky1 says:

      Yeah, I actually feel badly for Lindsay, too. No wonder she’s so screwed up. Her parents are beyond crazy. I’m not making excuses for her and I know that lots of people have dysfunctional parents and don’t end up like Miss Lindsay but she truly comes by it honestly. What a personality disordered group. It’s sad.

  27. mk says:

    Meh. I want to hate her, but I have a daughter. Listening to her cry about all of this nearly made me cry. She absolutely, 100% should be taking responsibility for her life, but can she? Like, is it actually possible to salvage her when she’s been made this way?

  28. Green_Eyes says:

    Oh Dina… When you wake up from your coke induced stupor.. Turn on TMZ… You will finally come face to face w/ Lindsay’s enablers…shocking isn’t it??

    WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED??? Ahh lets see… Only about the whole frickin planet!! Can they just be locked up somewhere for the sake of humanity?

  29. lucy2 says:

    Can’t we just lock all three of them up and throw away the key? Each one is worse than the next.
    If I were any of their kids, I would have run away. Seriously.

  30. Masque says:

    *checks calendar*

    Yep, it’s a day that ends in “y”.

  31. LeslieM says:

    Isn’t there somebody who can have these people involuntarily institutionalized. The courts, a long lost sibling or something. This whole family needs medication and a couple of months in the lock- up. People get thrown in mental hospitals all the time. That interview on Dr. Phil is cause enough right there. Can’t the police or somebody do something like that?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      WO’s brother is just like her (remember the whole dine & dash incident earlier this year?) so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

      Best we can hope for is that they die out without breeding further, and that Kate isn’t pregnant with MiLo’s twins.

  32. Sirsnarksalot says:

    The family that parties together, stays together. Or maybe the family that calls 911 on each other stays together. Nah, this is no longer a family, just a pack of wild dogs tearing at each other until they finally destroy each other. I’m just curious as to who takes the permanent dirt nap first.

  33. Jaded says:



    “Dad, it’s Lindsay, mom’s gone nuts, she’s on coke….”

    “Then tell her to get her ass off it and share some with you…”



  34. Cirque28 says:

    I’m with those who listened to that phone call and felt sorry for the Cracken for the first time. Not in the way she wants us to, e.g.: LL is a helpless child! And so persecuted! (Nope.) But it’s sad what Dina and Michael have taught their offspring to view as normal: chaos, conflict, violence, addiction, police contact, missing/stolen/broken jewelry, stupid drama about stupid jewelry.

    You should be able to call your dad in a crisis and hear, “Calm down and we’ll figure this out. No one’s being kidnapped.” But Michael not only escalates the drama, he tapes the conversation for immediate publication! Shameless!

    I don’t actually think getting away from the elder Lohans would help LL. Because until/unless she figures this out, she’ll continue to be an expert at recreating her miserable, chaotic family dynamic everywhere she goes. LL could probably volunteer for a year in a Guatemalan orphanage and somehow jewelry would immediately start vanishing, everyone would be fighting, and the orphans would be “unfair.”

  35. the original bellaluna says:

    Blohan’s looking a little Rose McGowan in the face in that black dress. Am I the only one who sees it?

  36. the original bellaluna says:

    In all seriousness, this ENTIRE FAMILY is FUBAR. There is NO HOPE for redemption for them. They need to crawl into their 50′s-60′s-style anti-Commie bunker (shaped like a vodka bottle, natch) and die.

    Otherwise, this shit is just going to perpetuate, expand, and eventually consume all the oxygen (and coke & vodka) on earth.

    And they can HAVE the coke, but I’m not sharing the vodka! ;)

  37. Apsutter says:

    Kaiser, I love you! Seriously, best play-by-play about the cracker ever written. God damnit all I love this website!

  38. Bess says:

    Lindsay called into TMZ live today. She says that Michael Lohan is “dead to her” and that Dina wasn’t doing cocaine. She also elaborated more on Michael Lohan’s violent behavior.

    • lulu1 says:

      Yup, just read the DM articles….the Lohans have outdone themselves again. They even manage to surpass the Celebitchy readers’ expectations of denials.
      At this point, it is almost as funny as the Dr Phil episode which was my personal fave.
      Lindsay says saying her mom takes cocaine and ‘gashed’ her leg were just temper tantrum comments.
      Yeeeeahh…I’ve had lots of rows with my good old mom, but never pulled that one on her.
      Of course, my mom wouldn’t know where to GET cocaine, or possibly even RECOGNISE it so the story would be kind of silly, wouldn’t it?

  39. Auntie Git says:

    Listening to that made me sad. :( She’s just like any other drug addict, yet every move she makes is monitored and put online. Damn her parents for what she’s become–they have made so much money off her, but at what price? I honestly think she used to be a pretty great actress. It’s just such a shame.

    On the other hand, she’s an adult now. I wish she’d get some help. I’m ready for her to have a comeback (rather than die of an OD, which is where I think (but don’t hope) she is headed). :(

  40. ViloDeMenus says:

    God knows Dina has used Lindsay as a meal ticket since she was 3 years old, but you have to ask yourself what is wrong with Lindsay’s dumb broken brain calling her father on the phone, he records and sells convos all the time, and especially likes making his own daughter look more deranged than she already is. Why would you continuously contact the parent who betrays you on a regular basis unless you were truly so sick you couldn’t see it, or don’t know how to protect yourself as an adult.

    Why is anyone still hiring this has been, why won’t she just go away? She did a couple of cute kid films and it’s been a mess ever since, just let her go and get on with her drug addict’s life out of the public eye. She’s only good for a cautionary tale about how you don’t successfully transition a kid star to adult film career other than that she’s a waste of ink and face fillers.