Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie go by ‘Bryce & Jasmine Pilaf’ in hotels: lame aliases?

For whatever reason, I just found this Us Weekly story interesting and funny. Us Weekly compiled a list of aliases used by celebrities and published them online. Meaning that these probably aren’t the celebrities’ aliases anymore. Some of the aliases are just kind of dumb (Jay-Z = Frank Sinatra? RLY?) but there are a few cool ones. I kind of think Brangelina’s aliases are supremely uncool, though. Brad Pitt is Bryce Pilaf? Angelina is Jasmine Pilaf? NOoooo.

Ever heard of Bryce and Jasmine Pilaf? They’re only two of the biggest stars in the world. Bryce is an Oscar-nominated leading man in Hollywood, known for movies like Ocean’s Eleven, Fight Club, and Moneyball. Jasmine is his longtime love and the mother of his children — not to mention a successful actress with roles in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Changeling, and A Mighty Heart.

Sound familiar? It should — because Bryce and Jasmine Pilaf are actually Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The megastar couple, who have been together for more than seven years, use Bryce and Jasmine as their boring cover identities when checking into hotels. It helps to protect their privacy so they can travel incognito.

In fact, as the Oct. 22 issue of Us Weekly revealed, many A-listers use aliases when checking into hotels or making dinner reservations. Justin Timberlake, for example, goes by Mr. Woodpond — which makes new wife Jessica Biel, whom he married in Italy Oct. 19, Mrs. Woodpond.

Twilight star Kristen Stewart has a mock moniker, too: Chuck Steak. And Johnny Depp often registers as Mr. Drip Noodle. Hip hop star Jay-Z uses the alias Frank Sinatra, whom he raps about — “I’m the new Sinatra” — in his Big Apple anthem “Empire State of Mind.”

Justin Bieber, meanwhile, checks in under the name Chandler Bing, a.k.a. Matthew Perry’s character on Friends, while Fergie goes by Penny Lane, a street in Liverpool made famous by the Beatles in their song of the same name.

Other silly secret identities? Tom Cruise’s Cage Hunt, Usher’s Mr. Dinero, Mila Kunis’ Senor Pants, Ben Stiller’s Clyde Tibenus, Chris Rock’s Slappy White, Steven Tyler’s I.K. Malone, and Kate Beckinsale’s Sigourney Beaver.

Perhaps the best alias, though, belongs to Bryce and Jasmine Pilaf’s pal George Clooney, who has been known to check in as Arnold Schwarzenegger, the real-life former governor of California and Clooney’s co-star in the movie Batman & Robin.

[From Us Weekly]

My absolute favorites on this list are Sigourney Beaver (excellent!) and CAGE HUNT. OMG. Tom Cruise demands that even his hotel aliases sound like action heroes and/or “games played on David Miscaviage’s pleasure yacht.” Tom could have gone for humor or realism, like Squee McFancyPants or Lipo Brazilian, but no. Cage Hunt!!!! Mr. and Mrs. Woodpond are dorky names, of course, but are those names cooler than Mr. and Mrs. Pilaf? Yes. Yes, they are.

In other Brangelina news, People Mag had this nice story about the Jolie-Pitt kids sending their letters to Santa:

Santa Claus can look forward to receiving something special himself this Christmas – six handcrafted letters from Angelina Jolie and her children from the heart of rural Kent, England.

Jolie and all six of her children – Maddox, 11, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 6, and 4-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne – made a special visit to the village of Littlebourne in Kent to send Santa their Christmas letters on Friday. And locals were thrilled to catch a glimpse of the famous family.

“It was so cute. All the children sent messages to Father Christmas and were absolutely beautifully behaved,” Littlebourne post office assistant Fiona Lindsay tells PEOPLE. “Just like any other kids in a sweet shop they were excited, but Angelina controlled them perfectly.”

“It was lovely,” she adds. “They were all very polite. They were just a bunch of gorgeous, happy kids.”

Brad Pitt and Jolie have been staying in Kent while he films the final scenes for zombie thriller World War Z.

Staying in a luxury converted barn in the nearby village of Ickham called The Treasury, the brood managed to keep a low profile for their entire week-plus stay, enjoying visits to nearby Howletts Wild Animal Park and Waterstones bookshop in Canterbury.

Pitt was also spotted taking Maddox to a screening of Skyfall at the Vue Cinema in Broadstairs – home of English writer Charles Dickens.

The family has since moved on from the area, but their visit has left an indelible mark on the locals in the sleepy English town.

“[Jolie] was so polite and a really nice person,” Lindsay says. “I was quite shocked at first but Angelina was so lovely I soon relaxed.”

“The children bought a packet of sweets each, plus a few toys and some magazines, and we ended up having a general chat about how they all were and what they were going to eat that night,” she adds. “I suggested they pop over to the fish and chip shop across the road as it is a shame to come to England and not have some. I just hoped they liked them!”

[From People]

One, if you’re old enough to watch Skyfall, you’re old enough to know there’s no (SPOILER) Santa. Two, I cannot believe Brad is STILL filming scenes for World War Z. Poor Brad. Three, I would love to see Zahara’s letter to Santa. And Shiloh’s. I imagine Z’s letter is all, “Dear Santa, I would like a pink tutu, a white pony and world domination. Yours, Z.” Shiloh’s letter is probably: “Yo Santa, I want a dirt bike, a machete and a flak vest! Thanx, Shilox.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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32 Responses to “Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie go by ‘Bryce & Jasmine Pilaf’ in hotels: lame aliases?”

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  1. Kim says:

    Brad started reshoots 2 weeks ago.As for Maddox I doubt he believes in Santa.

  2. Esmom says:

    With all those younger siblings, I’m sure Maddox is happy to play along with the Santa stuff. Gotta keep the magic alive!

    My kids, 11 and 13, recently informed me that Christmas isn’t nearly as exciting now that they know the truth — that basically I ruined it for them! It’s hard to let go.

  3. Esmom says:

    The thing I don’t get about many of those aliases…they’re so obviously fake. Which has got to tip people off that it’s a celeb/VIP. Which kinda defeats the purpose. At least Mr. & Mrs. Pilaf is somewhat plausible. Was somewhat plausible. Wonder what their new choice will be?

  4. Amy625 says:

    Not sure why this is news. I’ve heard a lot of these fake names in previous stories. I don’t get the attack on Bryce Pilaf. I think Brad just started reshoots because Angelina just ended filming.

  5. mln76 says:

    I think writing to Santa is cute. I bet Maddox and Pax know there is no Santa but play along as good big brothers. As for the aliases I’d say the fact that they are so non-descript is probably better than checking in with some crazy name that screams celebrity.

  6. I.want.shoes says:

    Bryce & Jasmine Pilaf are cute! At least it’s not a douchebag alias, like Usher’s Mr. Dinero.

  7. Rhea says:

    “Dear Santa, I would like a pink tutu, a white pony and world domination. Yours, Z.” Shiloh’s letter is probably: “Yo Santa, I want a dirt bike, a machete and a flak vest! Thanx, Shilox.”

    —-> Love this!!!!! :D

  8. Erinn says:

    How old do kids generally know about Santa? I remember being in first or second grade so around 6 or 7, knowing that there was no Santa.

    I remember getting in trouble for saying this in front of my brother who was only 4 or 5 at the time, and having to say I was only kidding.

    • Esmom says:

      It seems like nowadays kids learn the truth about 3rd or 4th grade. My kids believed until about 5th.

      And my 7th grader has a friend his age who refuses to stop believing. He has younger siblings so he plays it off that he’s going along with it for them but his mom said that he won’t let it go. A bit of Peter Pan syndrome, maybe?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      For me, it was third grade. I preserved it for my oldest two as long as I could. And my oldest would fight to the death ANYONE who spoiled his lil sis’ belief.

  9. Kim says:

    I found out when I was 6 but I kept writing letters Just in Case I was given false info.

  10. Shitler says:

    Some of these aliases are beyound stupid. Mr Dinero? Really?

  11. Sweet Dee says:

    Oh I get it. Like rice pilaf. So, so clever. Har dee har har.

    In fairness, most of the names sucked…I like Chandler Bing and Senor Pants.

  12. Lucky Charm says:

    What??? There’s no Santa Claus?!?!?! </3 (heart is breaking now.)

    When I was ten, I got into big trouble when I told my sister there was no Santa Claus. She was eight, and I thought she was old enough to know. She was SOOOO upset and cried for days. I decided to never tell my youngest sister…now she's in her 30's and still expects Santa to fill her stocking and leave her gifts, lol.

    Rice Pilaf, Bing cherries, chuck steak – great, now I'm hungry for lunch, and it's only 9:30 am, lol!

  13. Sefa says:

    Woodpond is sooooo old. I remember hearing about that back in high school, which I’ve been out of for almost 10 years.

  14. Katherine says:

    This is really old news. I remember reading about these aliases some 5 years ago – maybe more.

    I can’t believe that some of you still believed in Santa until such old ages. I distinctly remember some kids trying to tell my younger brother there was no Santa and me trying to protect him but I knew the truth and I was 5.

    • Brittney says:

      I know, same here! I actually don’t even remember a time that I *did* believe in Santa, but I do know I was furious by age four or five that my mom was still trying to pull one over on me, and I would constantly try to catch her in her lies. I think the year that I pulled something out of my stocking and said “oh cool, I remember when you got this at the mall!” was when she gave up trying.

  15. KellyinSeattle says:

    I think the aliases are cute, but yeah, they’ll have to change them, though. Love the pic of Zahara; she looks thoroughly pissed, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to piss her off! :) These rumors about AJ being pregnant again…I think that would be great!

  16. Michelle says:

    I was 10 when I first suspected and 12 when I knew for sure. My parents refused to give it up though. I begged them at 19 to let it go, but they refused. I got Santa gifts until I had a baby, so until I was 28.

    Maddox is probably smart enough to know if he spoils it for his youngest siblings, he’ll be in big trouble so he keeps his mouth shut.

  17. skuddles says:

    Cage Hunt? I’m no shrink but seems to me the wee Tommy may have a bit of a persecution complex.