Pippa Middleton’s book failure has ‘embarrassed & mortified’ the royal family

Here are some new photos of Pippa Middleton in London today, picking up some lunch to go. I was going to talk about how Pippa loves a Canadian tuxedo, but her jacket isn’t actually denim. It’s some kind of leather or pleather. So… no Canadian tuxedo jokes. Boo! Anyway, as it turns out, many of you are still interested in talking about Pippa Middleton, but only if we get to make fun of her and her terrible, child-like party-planning book. Her book included tips like “Drawers may be packed full of useful odds and ends!” That’s not a joke. She really has that in her book. Anyway, as we discussed a few days ago, Pippa’s book has totally bombed. Her publishers are not going to make back the $600,000 advance they gave her. Amazon already has the book listed at half-price (the book has only been out a few weeks!). And now Amazon is like, “Seriously, let’s help a sister out.”

A party-planning book penned by Pippa Middleton has proved to be an embarrassing flop for online retailer Amazon, after they shelled out a £400k advance to the Royal relation.

Celebrate is currently languishing at 189th spot on Amazon’s best seller list, despite the original (ambitious) cover price of £25 being slashed to £12.

In a desperate bid to boost flagging sales Amazon has placed the title at the top of its own recommended list and issued an email to every customer who has ever browsed or bought from their ‘food and drink’ section.

Critics mauled the offering for its less than sage advice, including advice to readers that ‘turkeys are perfect for feeding a larger gathering’ at Christmas.

The book has received a ‘three and a half’ star rating by 40 customers with one reviewer, Kelly, commenting: “You would think, with the amount of PR and media interest in the author of this book, that she might have written her book carefully, or perhaps even taken some expert advice. Seemingly, not so. For reasons best known to Miss Middleton, she has travelled the globe, shamelessly promoting an unbelievable pile of rubbish.

“The book is uninspiring, verging on insulting. Did she really think we would need to be advised to serve turkey at Christmas, and haggis on Burns night? Really?”

[From The Drum]

The problem with that one user review is that Pippa did NOT “travel the globe shamelessly promoting an unbelievable pile of rubbish.” Pippa barely promoted it. She did like two events in London and that was it. She didn’t do a book signing tour or do any major magazine or newspaper interviews or anything. She didn’t even launch the book in America! Some say that Pippa was planning to really promote the book but that Kate and the royal family shut her down. But now the Enquirer claims that the royal family is super-embarrassed by the fact that the book has bombed so badly!

A NEW party-planning book written by Prince William’s shapely sister-in-law has turned out to be a major royal embarrassment! Pippa, younger sister of royal bride Kate Middleton, is being accused of cashing in on her royal connections after being paid a whopping $600,000 advance for the how-to-guide party book, “Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends” – and critics charge it is so simplistic it could have been written by a child.

“Kate and Prince William must be mortified over the book,” said a source. “If Pippa had any decency at all she’d hand the money back to the publishers.”

Pippa’s far less than insightful tips include: “When hosting a party, move any clutter from the space where you’re entertaining” and “Nearly any breakfast becomes special when it’s brought to you in bed.”

Said the source: “It’s a guide that’s geared more toward a third-grader than the adult public, and it’s quickly become the biggest joke in the book world.”

A reviewer from the “Irish Sun” newspaper quipped: “It is clear that by writing the book, Pippa set out to prove that there is far more to her than her pert bottom. But the fact is, there isn’t.”

Other critics, both in the States and overseas, have been equally harsh, with one remarking that the book is “perfect for anyone who needs a recipe for making ice.”

Pippa, 29, skyrocketed to fame in April 2011 when her shapely butt took center stage at Kate and William’s wedding. Since then, her wild ways have drawn the ire of the royal family on more than one occasion. According to the source, the palace objected to Pippa’s writing project, but she went ahead with it anyway.

“Now she’s getting raked over the coals for it,” said the source. “It’s extremely demoralizing for Pippa, her family and the royals.”

Pippa tried to defend herself, but it turns out her only experience at entertaining comes from working as a kitchen assistant at a British pub. To save herself further embarrassment, Pippa canceled a scheduled U.S. media tour in support of the book, even turning down interview offers from Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper.

“She’s decided to lay low in London until the backlash dies down,” added the source. “And if reviewers and wildly disappointed readers continue the bashing, that could take years.”

[From The Enquirer]

Before her book came out, I kind of thought that there was an effort in some quarters to make Pippa into the next “Fergie” – as in, Pippa would be used as a messy cautionary tale to make Duchess Kate look better by comparison, which is exactly what happened about a year after Fergie married Prince Andrew – all of a sudden, Fergie was deemed an incontrovertible mess and Princess Diana looked even better. Once again, Fergie did a lot of it to herself. And now I’m starting to think Pippa is doing it to herself too – why in the world did she think she was qualified to write such a dull, uninspired book? Was it just a money-grab? I don’t think it was – I think Pippa really feels like her strength is “party-planning”.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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77 Responses to “Pippa Middleton’s book failure has ‘embarrassed & mortified’ the royal family”

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  1. Rll says:

    A great addition to any party is inviting all your friends round!

  2. bluhare says:

    So the RF “must be” embarrassed about the book. Translation: The writer has no idea whether the RF are embarrassed or not.

    • TrustMeOnThis says:

      Yeah, this has “we just went ahead and made up a bunch of stuff” stamped all over it.

      Love the jacket, though I could never wear it.

    • LAK says:

      Ding! ding! ding!

      Don’t you love how these writers project all sorts of things that they HOPE the RF feels/thinks. Lucky for them RF rarely responds.

    • Me Too says:

      Exactly. I doubt they know or care. I think it’s funny and sad that she was offered this book deal because of her butt–which let’s be frank–is probably her one ASSet! I have a friend who is a wonderful writer; smart and funny but she can’t get a publisher to even look at her stuff.

      So my take on this is Pippa isn’t at fault. As much as I find the interest in this girl ridiculous, I find it even more ridiculous that a publisher would shell out $600,000 on a party planning book written by a girl who’s only claim to fame is who her sister married and her butt. As far as I’m concerned, I say go Pippa! Screw Amazon for as much as you can because the fact they saw fit to publish you speaks volumes!

    • LAK says:

      Here is what i don’t understand about the idea that the palace stopped the tour.

      They have repeatedly said they don’t represent Pippa or give her any kind of advice or tell her how to run her life.

      If all of that is true, then it’s a case of Pippa and her publishers not having a good PR strategy/planning in place and completely relying on the fact that Pippa has worldwide coverage from being Kate’s sister. No extra effort required. There is huge assumption that people are enamoured of Pippa and will buy whatever she puts out. Plus they are now in blaming the Palace territory again instead of r-launching a world wide offensive.

      It’s very easy to blame the Palace for all kinds of things because in people’s minds the Palace is the bogeyman [as described by Diana and Fergie] full of evil grey suits whose only job in life is to make everyone miserable, more so if one is marrying in. This is not true anymore. The Palace is super helpful these days, and very transparent in it’s dealings.

      Of course Pippa may have been warned off informally BUT the book has nothing to do with Kate. She hasn’t visibly supported the book. If you were unaware that Pippa was Kate’s sister, you would judge the book on its own merits and review/buy accordingly.

      So the publishers scored an own goal by assuming Pippa and her trade were so tied to Kate that she didn’t need a better PR strategy to sell this book.

      • Lindsay says:

        No, it wasn’t the publisher Penguin now, after the Radom House merger, publishes just short of 1 of every 4 books sold. Anderson Cooper would have loved to have her, I am sure others would have as well. She was expected to makes almost double the advance in appearance fees. The publisher isn’t responsible for her backing out, they are probably furious. I don’t if it was the palace or the Middetons just really, really believe in The Secret. It worked for Kate, wait, wish, hope, pray, and almost a decade later a prince will marry you.

        They knew all along the reason people would buy the book is the childhood stories, not her 2/3 complete ice recipe or the sage knowledge the the winner of a sack race was the one who crossed the finish line first. The one thing they could have done is hire a ghost writer.

        I wonder if the source thinks since Kate hasn’t exactly been a shining star for the royal family if she should return that money as well.

      • Elise says:

        Carole Middleton actually helped edit her book twice before publishing. I read before when Pippa first got the deal to write the book that Kate did support her in this.

  3. littlestar says:

    Why would the Royal Family even care? I thought they were against the book and Pippa’s fame-whoring ways anyway. Now they are doing a turn around and saying they’re embarrassed by the book’s failure? Ya right.

    P.S. I thought it was called a Texas Tuxedo… ??? Have never heard of the Canadian Tuxedo before.

  4. mmmmm says:

    So, there is value in paying your dues and honing your skills. If she hadn’t had the connections that she does, her manuscript likely would have been rejected repeatedly until she fixed it and got it right or eventually quit.

    • lambchops says:

      Exactamente. If she worked her way up, paid her dues, then had something to say or some knowledge to pass on, then bravo. I don’t judge a sister for wanting to contribute, but this is such a clear case of nepotism. I just get so tired of publishers thinking the public is too dumb to care what we read as long as it’s by someone famous. I have a very hard time believing a 29 year old society girl has spent loads of time personally catering and designing her own parties.

    • Me Too says:

      Exactly! But we’re blaming the wrong person. I don’t like or dislike Pippa. I equate her with the Paris Hilton sect here–famous for being famous and, generally dumber than a door. (but in our society having a good butt trumps brains for women at least)

      The person who we should be questioning is her publisher. I suspect a short conversation with this girl would’ve been enough for them to determine, she’s no big thinker. The man, and I’d bet it is a man, who signed her and gave her that advance should be who we are laughing at. Not poor, pretty Pippa!

    • LAK says:

      or hired a ghostwriter. If Katie ‘JOrdan’ Price can hire a ghostwriter for her book which she happily admits to simply adding her name to….not even indepth collaboration and still sell millions of copies, why not Pippa.

      Ghostwriters are nothing to be ashamed of, but apparently Pippa refused the use of one.

      I blame her editors and publishers for allowing this content to go to market.

      I think Pippa should just skip down to the bank and cash that cheque because someone was stupid enough to give it to her, and didn’t pay enough attention to insist on afew perimeters/rules.

      • XiuFetish says:

        A ghost writer is essential for someone like Pippa, who clearly has minimal creativity or intellectual heft.

        The perfect ghost/co-writer would have been Amy Sedaris, who writes hilarious entertainment books, but then why would Amy want to be tarnished by Pippa’s dead weight?

  5. Nanea says:

    If the publishers were willing to pay such a huge advance, why didn’t they make sure Pippa had at least rudimentary knowledge of the subject that she was supposed to be writing about?

    And, if they were willing to spend so much money, why didn’t they employ a good ghost writer and an editor?

    • Eleonor says:

      and if she really cared and wanted the book to succeed, she would have worked hard, instead of partying around the world, looking for a rich husband.
      Going to someone else party doesn’t make you a party planner. Otherwise Paris Hilton would be a genious.

    • littlestar says:

      I have been wondering the exact same thing! The book publisher and editors HAD to know the book was crap, so why wouldn’t they demand that a better quality book was created by Pippa? She must have had people helping her with it, right? So why wouldn’t they have done or said anything? We’re all bashing Pippa (not that I care really) for putting out a rudimentary party planning book, but shouldn’t be be giving the publisher more flack for not putting out a better book?

      Maybe the publisher was betting on the fact that people would buy the book just because it was by Pippa, regardless of the quality of it? Well that sure backfired on them, didn’t it.

  6. Angela Johnson says:

    Ha ha, the Royal Family probably could not care less about Pippa.

    She is not their family she is Kates. She is probably not even someone they think about,

  7. HoustonGrl says:

    I think Penguin is partly to blame. A book like this (that is, entirely based off someone’s 15 minutes of fame), really ought to have come out right after the royal wedding. More than 18th months later? The silver has tarnished.

    Oh, and it doesn’t help that Pippa is dull as dishwater (and a bit dim, judging by some of these excerpts).

  8. TheEntrepreneursWife says:

    Ruh-roh. She’ll never find herself a high society husband now!

  9. danielle says:

    Feeling vaguely bad for Pippa. The book sounds dumb, but the publishers should’ve stopped her from putting out trash. The RF wants her not to promote the book, but them is upset because it does poorly – not entirely fair. That said, I wouldn’t mind getting picked on a bit for $600,000 – so whatever.

  10. Zombie Shortcake says:

    Another theory is that it is more an account of Pippa’s experiences growing up and her background, and the publishers thought people would want to read it for insight into Kate’s cultural background and experiences growing up. But since people aren’t particularly interested in Kate or her life story it’s not selling. I think there were posts months and months ago about how Kate mag covers don’t sell very well. People just aren’t that into reading about what she does or how she lives compared to other public figures (although they will snap up whatever she wears off the rack).

    • Esmom says:

      If that’s the case, it’s weird that it hasn’t been promoted that way. Any way you look at it, it’s a train wreck as far as the declining industry known as book publishing goes.

      • Zombie Shortcake says:

        Well, it might have been considered too outright famewhorey exploitative to explicitly promote the book by way of “this here is a first hand account of Duchess Kate’s early family life. Are you curious about her? Because this book will provide the most accurate details about how she lived and what she did growing up as it’s author is her bio sister/best friend who grew up in the same house as her and they did everything together.”

      • Esmom says:

        @ZS true, but somehow the personal angle makes it more appealing to me. It would be the only thing to set it apart from the crowd of party books. A good writer would be able to make it work, I’d think, and it could be folksy vs. exploitative. Oh well.

  11. Alexandra Bananarama says:

    I can’t help, but feel sorry for Pippa. At least she’s trying.

    Yes, she can be a famewhore and yes the book was terrible, but all the more reason to get out there and promote it! Famewhores promote and advertise always so why did she not?

    My bet is William told Kate no and Kate told her parents and The parents told pippa no.

    1 last thing. Wasn’t Pippa always going to be Kate’s lady in waiting or something like that? At the rate public opinion is dropping on Pippa she’ll never get that spot.

  12. Ginger says:

    “Shapely” sister in law??!! give me a break!!!

  13. amandapanda says:

    i disagree re the LiW thing – i think once pips gives up her aspirations of stardom, she will take the LiW job and be quietly swept into the RF fold, never to be heard from again

  14. Christine says:

    I am a bit tired of the Pippa bashing. First of all, the publisher published it. It’s not like she didn’t have an editor, and the publisher read the book prior to publishing. So it’s not all on her, right? Second, it’s #5 in Crafts books, so that’s not bad. Third, books depend upon promotion, which she did not do probably because of Kate and her ta-tas. I’m not a real fan of Pippa, but give the girl a BREAK. There is a massive publishing machine running the show, NOT Pippa. Fourth, what party book is NOT filled with inane and basic ideas? None of them have invented the wheel for goodness’ sake.

    • Izzy4ya says:

      Several posts here have pointed the finger at the publishers. They could have easily spent that advance money on 10 different QUALIFIED authors who deserve to be heard. But Pippa is still at fault. She saw an opportunity to exploit her position, she took it, and it royally backfired. It would be somewhat forgivable if she was actually talented. Lastly, while many of these types of books are full of pointless information, the ones that people cling to are the ones that also include new approaches to holiday planning and decor-things the average person who isn’t in this business wouldn’t think of. Who doesn’t know that they need to clear space for guest to come over? If you went to a doctor and all he could tell you was “eat chicken soup when you have a cold”, what would you think of his credentials?

  15. skuddles says:

    I’m sure the royals do not care one way or another about Pippa’s “book”. And from the sounds of that review, she should stick to flaunting her fanny for attention.

  16. Jessica says:

    My theory is that she had to tone down what she and her millionaire family actually do for their parties to avoid being ripped into for being rich and unrealistic, and she just went too far and ended up stating the obvious. Basically it was never going to be a success.

  17. Sweet Dee says:

    You know, sometimes you’re rich and have a great ass and there’s nothing else to you. If she really thinks that party planning is her strength, that’s my only conclusion. Not everybody with an entitled childhood is entitled to be known for more…this is Pippa. And this is how Paris and the Kartrashians win and she loses: they’re aware of that fact, and how to capitalize appropriately.

  18. Mira says:

    It’s dumb enough that she decided to write a book when she has no skills. But what do you call a person who’s not smart enough to at least make someone else ghost write the book for them? Pippa is the new dumb and dumber.

  19. abby says:

    The Middleton’s are as vapid and empty as it gets and speaks volumes of William’s own depth.

    • Esmom says:

      Maybe. But Diana wasn’t exactly lighting the world on fire with her intelligence either. The difference is she chose to roll up her sleeves and get busy with a number of important causes. It’s hard to fathom why Kate — and even Pippa for that matter, on a smaller scale — hasn’t done the same.

  20. taxi says:

    Her parents have a successful party-planning business in which she’s worked, so “expertise” thought to be absorbed by proximity? The publisher is to blame, for not providing competent editing & telling her to kick it up a few notches. All publishers use editors to improve the submitted material. Why advance that much money & not oversee the investment?

    • LAK says:

      Her family are not nor have they ever been party planners. They sell party decorations and accessories primarily for children’s parties although they have since expanded to the adults.

      Any party planning experience Pippa has is through working part time for TABLE TALK party planners. Nothing to do with her parents’ company.

  21. teehee says:

    I doubt it. All things considered, that topic is not so in demand, no matter who writes the book. and I doubt te family is so petty.

  22. little-red says:

    Attention Pippa: There are much, much worse jobs (trust us!) than putting time, energy, and thought into a book on entertaining and travelling around the world to promote it, neither of which you appeared to do much of. You couldn’t get an easier job as far as I’m concerned.

  23. Bored suburbanhousewife says:

    Maybe Kate and the RF (to the extent they care) should focus on finding Pip a suitable fellow, marry her off, then exile her to the country.

    The tried and true methods can still work for the embarrassing relation or the girl who has become shop soiled after one too many “seasons”.

  24. Bobby the K says:

    That bum thing was all hype.

  25. alexa says:

    She had a suitable guy (Alex Loudon) but the whole circus which grew up around Pippa after the wedding turned him off – especially since Pippa seemed to enjoy it. What sort of quiet upper-class guy (the sort the RF and Kate etc. would like), would be interested in her now? Lord knows what’s going to happen to her. I think she probably thought she could write a good book – she seems to have lots of confidence (with little to back it up) — really Penguin is the most at fault here.

  26. The Original Victoria says:

    The Irish Sun got it wrong; her butt is not pert. It’s nothing but flat ass pancake and I understand that the perception of what is a cute butt varies from culture to culture, but seriously, let’s be honest about the fact that she has no assatall.

  27. MsLDG says:

    I’m seriously considering buying the book, for two reasons: a very, very small part of me wants to do as Amazon is suggesting and ‘help the poor girl out’, but the other part of me just thinks it’ll be HILARIOUS.

  28. A Fan says:

    Pippa wasn’t a celebrity, Pippa isn’t a celebrity, and Pippa will never be a celebrity. She needs to be put to rest already.

  29. Amy625 says:

    I really don’t think Pippa is even popuplar. At least in the USA and based on blogs. It seems like this is the only site that constantly covers her. Which is why I find it hard to believe that Oprah and Anderson Cooper wanted her for their shows. She doesn’t seem interesting and most people don’t even know who she is. Frankly I doubt that the royal family care about Pippa unless she brings big attention to herself like that gun stunt. If anything a bombing book is a good thing compared to what the family is known for.

  30. Malak says:

    I don’t understand why people are interested in her at all. She’s totally boring!

  31. Chrissy says:

    This reminds me of people who come to the American Idol audition and talk about how terrific they are. Then they start singing and they are so off tune you can’t even really call it singing. Then they’re told they are terrible and get angry. I think Pippa might be like this: in complete denial that she has no skills in either writing or party planning. I don’t think it’s just an attmept at a quick buck but something she truly thought she could easily do. That’s why it is so awful, because she thought it was “coming naturally.” I don’t feel bad for the publisher at all though – someone should have read the dumb book before they printed it and said, hold on, this needs to be improved. I imagine someone (probably not the one responsible) is getting fired over this mess.

  32. Sachi says:

    I see a lot of comments asking why the publishers didn’t hire an editor or a ghostwriter, or why Pippa didn’t make use of such a “resource” when writing her book…

    What if Pippa didn’t want to do any of that because she actually believes her own hype? What if she refused to get help with her writing because she felt that whatever wisdom she has about party-planning must be gold and people will eat it up?

    As Kaiser said, Pippa probably believes that party-planning IS her forte and the publishers thought to cash in on someone they think is still a “hot commodity” after 18 months. Pippa never even took off. People were already over her days after Kate’s wedding.

    I doubt the royal family even cares.

    I must admit I find it tiresome to have the press point out the royal family as being the one to blame every time one of the Middletons is painted in an unflattering light.

    It’s not the royal family’s fault that the book is complete rubbish. Even if Pippa did the round of promotion and interviews, I don’t think the critics would have been kind to her just because she’s Kate’s sister and she might get her poor feelings hurt.

  33. kimcheee says:

    She should have done a bum workout video. That would have sold! The Queen would have loved that.

  34. TheOneAndOnlyOnly says:

    The verdict is in Pippa is a pinhead;
    also, good points esmom.

  35. Phil E Stein says:

    Mortifying the Royal Family is like shooting fish in a barrel. It’s no big shiz.

  36. jwoolman says:

    Unless a book is self-published by the author, publication of a dumb and/or not selling like hotcakes book is on the publisher’s head. My guess is that they approached her to do it rather than her approaching them. Then they didn’t bother doing the normal things that happen when an author is writing a book -actually reading chapters during the process, for instance, and adjusting things. She was just offered a lot of money to do something without any guidance from the publisher, that’s all. No publisher in its right mind does that, especially with an inexperienced author. So she thought she could do whatever vague thing they told her to do, with no feedback about the expected readership and level (it sounds as though she assumed she was writing for people who really had never thrown a party, maybe that’s what was actually intended.). That’s just inexperience on her part, which isn’t a crime. It’s the publisher that should be ripped to shreds.

  37. Liberty says:

    Lazy or unoriginal author + greedy, incompetent publisher with fame-whipped or “screw you” editor + “we can save money on promo because every chav will buy it heh heh” crap marketing plan = this.

    That said, I actually know, first-hand experience, of a party/event planner for a major cultural institution who didn’t know what Brie, halibut, tartar or a placement chart were, and still struggles. She was hired, for nearly six figures, because a director thought she wore good shoes. She thinks she is a genius; caterers and florists curse like pirates about her. She wanted to know why there were extra forks? So yeah…this can probably happen in cosseted/royal circles and be thought normal.