The National Enquirer has a new article this week that’s basically a no-brainer. Apparently Patrick Swayze’s widow, Lisa Niemi, despises Kirstie Alley. Alley recently claimed in her new book, and publicity tour, that Patrick was in love with her in 1985 when they were both married to other people and were co-stars on a TV movie called “North and South.” In Kirstie’s Xenu-addled mind, Patrick was madly in love with her, even though he turned her down cold for sex when they were both drunk, telling her “you’re drunk,” “you don’t really want to do it,” and “you’re not that kind of girl.” It sounds more like an infatuation on Kirstie’s part than a love affair, but Kirstie takes it further and claims in her book that Patrick was constantly asking her to divorce her then-husband and run away with him. That’s the exact same thing that she claimed about John Travolta – that nothing happened between them but she wanted to run away with him. She’s got some serious problems, and it gets worse as we’ll get to in a moment.

Here’s part of the Enquirer’s account about Lisa’s response to Kirstie, with more in their current issue with Kirstie on the cover:

Heartbroken Lisa Niemi feels so betrayed by her once-close pal that sources say she wanted to scream at Kirstie: “I hate you! Patrick never loved you! How could you do this to me?”

Kirstie dropped the bombshell just as Lisa was starting to rebuild her life. She recently began dating Florida jeweler Albert DePrisco after losing her husband of 34 years to pancreatic cancer at age 57 in 2009.

“Lisa has so many happy memories of her marriage to Patrick,” said the source. “Now, Kirstie has sullied those memories by trying to cash in on her friendship with him…”

In her new memoir… [Kirstie] writes that she and [Patrick] tried to “avoid going to that road,” but couldn’t help falling in love.

“He exuded that anything was possible,” Kirstie writes. “The emotions and dialogue escalated daily. One night, toward the end of the shoot, I got fairly drunk, dirty-danced for hours, and then succumbed. We made out with each other.”

While the two weren’t sexually intimate, Kirstie writes that Patrick “asked me one last time to divorce my husband and make a new life with him. He was very persuasive. The decision of whether to run off with him was torturous.”

Ultimately, Kirstie… said she turned Patrick down after confession her forbidden love to her father and him telling her: “You’re married. Knock if off.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 26, 2012]

So she propositioned Patrick for sex and he turned her down, but she still took his suggestion that they run off together seriously, and no amount of ensuing years have helped her realize that he was just being flirty. The Enquirer has yet another article that analyzes her ridiculous book. Apparently Kirstie has a pattern of claiming men are in love with her, even though they’re just platonic friends and she’s never slept with them. She also claims that Woody Harrelson tried to have sex with her back when they were filming Cheers in the late 80s and early 90s, but that she turned him down. Her book has a lot of these type of “it could have been stories” with no actual sex.

In her explosive book, Kirstie says both Swayze and Travolta begged her to run off with them and describes them as the great loves of her life…

But an insider revealed: “Kirstie says she never consummated her feelings for either of them. In fact, Swayze stopped her when she threw herself at him.

“Although she also says she was tempted to have an affair with her ‘Cheers’ co-star Woody Harrelson, she never did. She even claims a cougar relationship with her ‘Dancing with the Stars’ partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, but they were never lovers either.”

In her book, Kirstie says Woody constantly pestered her for sex, and one night while staying at her house with a girlfriend, he knocked on her door at midnight, but Kirstie says she turned him down “half wishing I wasn’t married that night and would band her brains out.”

And about her cougar relationship with Maksim, she writes that she’d “catch him staring at me in a sort of awe” and “it shocked me that I ended up loving him to the degree that I did.”

“It’s genuinely bizarre, Kirstie has written a kiss-and-tell book primarily about the famous men in her life – and yet there’s very little kissing or telling with any of them,” said the insider.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 26, 2012]

I don’t know what’s more pathetic, the fact that Kirstie thought that all these men were in love with her, or the fact that she believes her own delusions and hype so much that she wrote a book about it and shared it with the world. Probably the latter. Those are some serious daydreams. Maksim started at her in awe. He was her damn dance partner, but not anymore. Spoiler – Kirstie was voted off DWTS All Stars earlier this week. See ya!

These dudes are totally in love with Kirstie too, right?

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