Lindsay Lohan was just charged with three crimes today in LA, Merry Christmas!

As we already know, Crackie Christmas came early this year and Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning for third-degree assault, because she punched some chick in the face at a nightclub, and then fled the scene like a crackhead. Well, because this is Crackie Christmas and you’ve all been so good this year, Crack Santa has given you an extra helping of crack goodness today. Here are some highlights from many more Cracken stories percolating today:

*TMZ says that Lindsay punched that woman (in the face!!) because they were fighting over Max George from The Wanted. Before hitting up the club, Lindsay went to the Justin Bieber concert and The Wanted was the opening act. Sources say LL “has been scoping Max out for the last few days.” Max is 24 years old. LL tried to get in backstage after the concert – but she couldn’t!! Because HAHAHAHA. But she did manage to “met up” (“crack stalk”) with Max and some other peeps at the hotel bar later, and then everybody went to Club Avenue.

*Once at the club, many, many sources are saying that Lindsay kept drinking and drinking and she was just a mess. TMZ says “Max was turned off by the fact LiLo was sloppy drunk inside the club.” So Max started paying attention to this other woman, which sent Lindsay into a crack rage. Allegedly, Max ended up going home with someone else entirely though.

*I’m sure everyone has seen this by now, but I love this video of Lindsay’s arrest. She’s crack-squawking “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” I want to have this video’s crack babies.

*Radar’s sources say that “Lindsay was completely out of control. She was drinking way too much booze and was doing cocaine.” Radar also says that the fight between Lohan and this chick began as something entirely different, but that Lindsay antagonized the woman and shoved the woman on the way to the bathroom (to do more lines). A source says, “Lindsay was just looking for trouble. She totally sucker-punched that girl in the face out of nowhere! Nobody saw it coming. Lindsay went wild. She was kicking and screaming, cursing at the girl and then spit at her. The girl looked like she wanted to fight back at Lindsay, but was too startled by all the commotion to react.”

*And finally, another gem from TMZ. According to their (LAPD) sources, Lindsay is being charged with three crimes today… IN LA!!! This is all about her June car accident, remember? TMZ says the City Attorney has filed these charges: giving false information to a peace officer (punishable by up to 6 months in jail); obstructing or resisting a police officer in the performance of his duty (punishable by 1 year in jail) and reckless driving (punishable by 90 days in jail). TMZ says the criminal complaint was filed at 9:30 AM (PST). So that’s four charges in one day on two coasts. She hit the crack lottery!!!!!!

Here’s Max George from The Wanted:

Here’s a photo of a woman that some say is Lohan’s victim (or it could be this woman):

Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.

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169 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan was just charged with three crimes today in LA, Merry Christmas!”

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  1. BreeinSEA says:

    Bahahaha too good

    • Lindsay says:

      While I know it is wrong to get any satisfaction out of this I agree. That TMZ video was amazing. “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?” Yes, the NYPD has nothing better to do and punching someone who was talking to a guy you like that left your side because he was disgusted with you is no big deal.

      The victim is the one on D-Listed. Get this she is 28. They could have been besties and traded rapid aging tips. 🙂

      And now she is facing three charges in CA and a lawsuit from Lifetime. She must be shocked that her actions are starting to look like they could have real consequences.

      That is what you get for tainting my first and middle name! Someone called her Lindsay Morgan in a review, so I had to look it up. Turns out she made Morgan her middle name for her stage name. Which is bizarre in and of itself; people change first and last names all the time but that middle name change I have heard of. Her given middle name Lee also has a family connection. Odd.

  2. Amelia says:

    DECK THE HALLS WITH BAGS OF POWDER, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!
    ‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE CRACKIE, TRA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!!!
    Ah, Crack Santa never disappoints.
    Well played, Cracken. Well played.
    Now all we need is for Leann to have a complete meltdown and Amanda Bynes to ding another police car and we’d have a trifecta.

    • Bellatrix says:

      There’s too many Crackolling possibilities at hand here…

      Crack of the Bells.
      God Rest Ye Merry NYPD Policemen.
      Angels We Have Heard LiLo Is High.
      And the much-too-obvious Joy to the World!

      • Sam says:

        Come all Ye Cokeheads
        The Little Dealer Boy
        A Crackhead We Have Heard on High
        Lindsay the Red-Nose Crackhead

        Seriously, there is a parody album here waiting to be made.

      • eileen says:

        I have had the SHHHHH!tiest week but thisjust made me laugh my butt off. From the bottom of my heart-THANK YOU! 😀

        And thanks to Lindsay who has made my week look like The Best Week Ever compared to just a few hours of her life. lol

      • Layale says:

        Love them all! Thanks for making me giggle today. 🙂

      • Booboocita says:

        We wish you a sullen Crackie,
        Unwashed, unrestrained and trashy,
        Just look at that filthy lassie,
        We’re sincerely appalled!

    • WendyNerd says:

      OH COME ALL YE CRACKIE
      PROBATION VIOLATED
      OH COME YE OH COME YE
      TO COURT ONCE AGAIN
      COME AND BEHOLD HER
      BECAUSE SHE WAS IN MEAN GIRLS
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      AND HER SEA JASPER

      TELL ME LINDSAY LOHAN
      DO YOU BLAME THE BLACK KID?
      OH WERE THEY? WERE THEY?
      YOUR PANTS INDEED?
      HAIL TO YOUR FACE BLOATED
      HAIL TO FULLY LOADED
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      THE ‘LEZ’ IN LEZ AND DICK

      ALL HAIL! LINDSAY BLOWHAN
      FOR WHOM YOU SHOULD MOVE THAT CONE
      OH COME PAY, OH COME PAY
      HER TAXES CHARLIE SHEEN
      NECKLACES AND FUR COATS SHE WILL BE STEALING
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      OH COME LET US ADORE HER
      THE FIRECROTCH QUEEN

      • anon33 says:

        AWESOME. YOU WIN THE INTERNET TODAY.

      • Booboocita says:

        Brava, bravissima!

      • megan says:

        These are all too wonderful for words!

      • Becky says:

        I know. It’s like she knows I’m on bed rest and decided to entertain me throughout my recovery. A true entertainer, that Lindsay. Unless you are the baby in the stroller. Or the black guy. Or being chased at high speed. Or being stalked. You know.

      • erika says:

        hi baby! yahhhh BABY!!!! let’s run off to vegas and get married!!! I will serenade you with that CRACK ROCKIN’ version of O Come Ye All Crackheads!

        U R BRILLIANT! You ShinE just like the bars on LoLo’s JAIL CELL! You shine like a cops badge!!!!

      • WendyNerd says:

        Thanks guys, my friend and I are working on christmas carol parodies based on the Kardashians and Charlie Sheen as well

        Kardashian “O Hark the Angels Sing”

        Oh, hock the latest thing
        Glory to the ass of Kim
        Pimp Mama Kris wants a new Bentley
        Kourtney pop out a new baby
        Khloe really looks quite mannish
        Dignity, we should banish
        Some say sex tapes are a shame
        But it’s worth the money made

        Charlie Sheen “Silent Night”:

        Rockstar from Mars
        Hookers in cars
        Temper’s broke
        Lines of coke
        Can’t you see that he’s winning?
        With tiger blood he is grinning
        Craziest man you have seen
        That is just Charlie Sheen

      • Flora Kitty says:

        Love it

      • Izzy says:

        And to all of you who got creative today with Christmas caroling on CB, I say “Mazel Tov!” You are officially my queens of the ‘net today.

        Thank you for ending my very stressful day on such a high note. Pun intended.

    • Asiyah says:

      LMAO y’all are a trip thanks for the laughs everyone!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Amelia, how’s that second version of The Twelve Days of Cracken (My True Love Sold to Me) coming along?

    • WendyNerd says:

      Last one, promise:

      On the first day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      A stolen coat made of mink

      On the second day of crackmas Lindsay Blowhan gave to me:
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the third day of crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the fourth day of crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the fifth day of crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the sixth day of crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the seventh day of crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the eighth day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Eight punches flying
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the ninth day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Nine bags of jasper
      Eight punches flying
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the tenth day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Ten Fuck You Nails
      Nine bags of jasper
      Eight punches flying
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the eleventh day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Eleven Mug Shots
      Ten Fuck You Nails
      Nine bags of jasper
      Eight punches flying
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

      On the twelfth day of Crackmas Lindsay Blohan gave to me:
      Twelve minutes in prison
      Ten Fuck You Nails
      Nine bags of jasper
      Eight punches flying
      Seven cops handcuffing
      Six Moms-a-drinking
      FIVE BLOW JOBS
      Four yellow teeth
      Three coke straws
      Two totaled porsches
      And a stolen coat made of mink

    • Izzy says:

      The nice Jewish girl on CB chiming in here! (To the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel):

      I had a little crackpipe, I made it out of dough.
      And when I run all out of crack, I’ll do some lines of blow!
      Oh crackpipe, crackpipe, crackpipe,
      I made it out of dough.
      And when I run all out of crack,
      I’ll trade for more with blow(jobs).

      OK, so the last part doesn’t quite rhyme, but still…

      • The Original Genevieve says:

        LMAO, Iz…

        I’m a nice Episcopalian girl, so obviously my lyrics would be really boring and wouldn’t have the same punch. :p But, I LOVE IT!!!

        Not to be a total curmudgeon, but YES! Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah!! I am so glad this entitled BITCH finally got cop-shopped. Seriously, it may be the beginning of her getting the help she needs.

        Or at the very least…JUSTICE. SCHWIIING! 😀

      • Izzy says:

        SCHWING indeed! You’re not being a curmudgeon. It’s not curmudgeonly to celebrate justice being served. (Served along with cracktinis. And crack-nog. Am I spelling “nog” right? Or is it two g’s? Oh, the things I wonder about.)

  3. WendyNerd says:

    I cannot wait to hear her excuses. “That wasn’t me! That was some black guy dressed as me!” “That was my father driving the car!” “The cops are part of the Illuminati and they’re out to get me so that I don’t win ALL THE OSCARS!!!!!”

  4. pamspam says:

    Merry Crackmas, y’all.

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      Sprinkle the trees with snow! Crackmas has come early this year!

      The Cracken never goes out to clubs and is in recovery for drinking and coke-couldn’t possibly be our little Scree!

      • pamspam says:

        I’m totally getting a tree tonight. I don’t even celebrate Christmas, but Crackmas? Heck, yes!

  5. Talie says:

    Oof…she better be careful or her nose wil collapse.

    • gg says:

      Not soon enough. So tired of this bratty bitch. She needs to be so humiliated somehow that she stays indoors for good. All her problems extend from her thinking her famous ass is so important, people should bow down. And when they don’t, she goes nuts.

      The problem is, she has no shame, so she can’t be shamed into good behavior like any normal person.

  6. Sam says:

    More mug shots!

    Scrapbooking time! The Lohan clan can bust out the pinking shears once again. Christmas has come early.

    And can I say that watching her “squawk” on that video has made my day?

  7. mlorena says:

    “I want to have this video’s crack babies”!!! I spit up my coffee!! Best Crackie laugh of the day!

  8. Lady D says:

    She’s got 7 mugshots right? And this will bring the total up to 11. All we need now is for her to punch Dinah out publicly, and we get our calendars.
    Come on Santa. I need to believe again.

  9. Bellatrix says:

    Mmm, there’s no yule season joy without a proper Cracken thread. Keep the comments comin’, ladies…

    Lilo is innocent because R U KIDDIN OH MAH GAWD.

    Everybody, get your Christmas crackers out early.

  10. Slim Charles says:

    “…Lindsay antagonized the woman and *shaved* the woman on the way to the bathroom…”

    Oh God, I wished that would have happened! LOL!

  11. Hannah says:

    O Happy Day!

  12. Lady D says:

    Been grinning since I logged onto CB this morning. I think I’m getting high on endorphins here.

  13. Ruby Red Lips says:

    What I dont understand is that the crackie keeps spouting all this ‘I’m in a really good place etc’ b4 something like this & people actually believe her?!?!

  14. Ms Kay says:

    John McClane’s Ho-Ho-Ho yippee Kay yay!

  15. BooBooLaRue says:

    No more! PLEASE MORE ERIC BANA!

    • lilyb says:

      Agreed — but still, this is like a car crash we all watch.
      I say, drug test her! I hope that was the first thing they did upon her arrest.

  16. Sirsnarksalot says:

    And is Charlie Sheen gonna step up to take care of those pesky legal bills? Bitch must have a frequent flier discount card with her attorney’s office.

  17. ladybert62 says:

    I love Crackie stories and the ensuing posts – they are always hysterical and make me laugh even when I have a migraine like today!! THANKS ALL!!!

  18. Starlight says:

    Why nobody is helping this girl? Seriously. Where are her parents. The father I am sure wants to help her but the mother is not cooperating. I feel like I want to cry.

    • Amelia says:

      Don’t feel too bad, Starlight.
      The problem with Ol’ Crackie is that she is always the victim in her mind.
      Nothing is ever her fault, she shifts the blame and responsibility onto other people and others get hurt in the process (see the hit and run incidents).
      She’s been given far too many chances and she has abused each and every one of them. She never learns and tbh, I think she’s past helping.
      So grab a Crack-nog and join in the fun!

    • mssnarnd says:

      I know, me too. I know she’s had many, many chances, so she needs to suffer the consequences of her actions (as most of us have had to do).

      I have kids, so maybe it hits me a bit more dramatically. Not sure.

      Maybe this will save her life in the long run??? Most likely, not.

      Her demons run deep.

    • Sam says:

      I think its important to remember that this is somebody who has gone to rehab, I think, about 4-5 times. She has encountered people willing to help her. She has the resources. At the end of the day, other people can’t really help somebody who refuses to help themself. And that’s Lindsay’s issue – she refuses to try to help herself. She keeps going to clubs where booze and drugs will be present, she associates with enablers. All the effort in the world can’t save a person who does not care to be saved. If she ever decides to get help, then I think we can worry about who’s helping her. But right now, there’s nothing anybody can do.

    • NeNe says:

      Mommy dearest is usually out partying with her. Why would mommy dearest want to help her out? I mean, come on, that means that she cannot party herself, and that ruins all her fun…. What’s the point of that?? LOL!!!

    • Madriani's Girl says:

      I want to cry too but strangely, they are tears of laughter.

    • gg says:

      She can’t be helped, she’s too far gone. Everybody and their duck has tried to help her and she just wants to get drunk and fucked up and hang out in clubs throwing punches.

      Be jailed, idiot!

    • BrandNew says:

      Me too. I just can’t humor in watching this girl ruin her life. . Drug addictio is horrible. I hope she gets help before its too late.

    • kimcheee says:

      Her Dad has been to rehab more! He’s a drama king who uses his daughter. Her Mother is into shopping, drinking and bimbo and Linds pays her bills. Between the two parents – I can see why she’s so messed up. Only Charlie Sheen can save her now. I’m not joking. It’s sad, but true. Charlie is good at taming the crackies…look at his exes. I’m concerned. I think she’ll kill herself and join the 27 club – or she’ll kill someone else or herself in a car accident. It would suck to see her disabled from a vehicular accident knowing that we all saw it coming a mile away and let her do it to herself or another. She’s an accident waiting to happen….unless she can change her mind and ways.

  19. Hayley says:

    Damn. Max George looks like Joran Van der Sloot in that picture. I was wondering, for a split second, why his picture was in a story about the Blow-han.

  20. potatopeel says:

    Another website said that the person Lohan smacked on is a “palm reader” from Florida and apparently she “didn’t see this coming”! hahaha

  21. NeNe says:

    Yes, now let her exclaim, “This is all happening, because everyone is jealous of me!!!”

  22. Jayna says:

    Jimmy Fallon was on Andy Cohen a few weeks ago. He said he went out to dinner alone. And as he was walking through the restaurant someone yelled out to him. It was Lindsay with a few friends. She said to come join them since he was eating alone. Andy asked if she was drinking. He said no and that she was sweet and funny and he enjoyed the dinner (paraphrasing). It kind of made me sad that it would be surprising to hear she was normal and sane for once.

    • BeesKnees says:

      And then he had her on his show and said nice things about her on Twitter. I like Jimmy so I doubt she gave him a beej or something so maybe she can be a normal person sometimes!

      • Katie says:

        I think she’s very capable of acting normal when it comes to famous people who have the ability to help her. She’d never punch Lorne Michaels.

        When I watched her mom on Dr. Phil, I found myself surprised thinking that Lindsay would have done a much better job appearing sane and sober. Whenever she’s interviewed, she gives the same speech every time — “I’ve learned from my mistakes, I like to stay home, all kids party so I’m no different” — and to the viewer who’s not very familiar with her story, it sounds almost sane.

        So I’m not surprised she can keep the front with Jimmy Fallon, a guy who interacted with her when her career was hot. I guess when she’s charming, she’s very charming, although I really don’t think there’s anyone left in the business, save for Charlie Sheen who empathizes, with her now.

  23. Lucky Charm says:

    C’mon, Little Red Crackie, don’t be so jealous. PLEASE let Shawn worry about Gabriel right now and then she can get back to you and your little shenanigans.

  24. emmie_a says:

    I’m cracking up — If you watch the video, while Lindsay is being led to the cop car, someone yells, ‘Call your dad’ (or something like that). Classic.

  25. NeNe says:

    Yeah, and we all know what she is going to exclaim, “This is all happening, because everyone is jealous of me.” NOT!!!!!!!

    If she doesn’t do some serious real time for this, than the judical system is nothing but a big joke! She has already made a mockery of the system.

  26. LeeLoo says:

    Now there are reports she is going to go to rehab for six months. HA! Not that it would do her a lick of good but I totally want to see her in one of those boot camp style mental health facility/rehab. That’s where she should be headed, nothing cushy. They’d take away EVERYTHING and her behavior would not fly there. I just think it would be hilarious to watch her throw a tantrum over something ridiculous and no one gives a damn. The most important aspect of any potential treatment plan is keeping her away from Dina and Michael for as long as humanly possible. If she stays away from her toxic parents she may have a fighting chance. In reality this just seems like same old crack shenanigans. She gets in a buttload of trouble, then decides rehab is a good way to dodge her problems.

    • Erinn says:

      I don’t understand how that can even be an option. If they send her to jail for 6 months she won’t be drinking or doing drugs, either. It’s not like this is a first time offense.

      Watch, they’ll allow it. Another slap on the wrist for the cracken.

      • Becky says:

        How can rehab be an option if the violation is lying to the cops about a car accident that doesnt involve drugs or alcohol and the original offence is theft?

    • Byte Me says:

      There’s going to be alot of pissed off people if Lindsay goes to rehab instead of serving a jail sentence…including me.

    • Sam says:

      I’d support that – IF the rehab was selected by the court, and it was a hardcore detox and rehab facility. Let’s face it – rehabs for the stars are like a vacation at a resort. I’ve seen real rehab centers up close – and they are basically like medical prisons. Maybe 6 months in one of those would set her straight.

    • Bess says:

      I agree with you. A boot camp style mental health / rehab is the only thing that could knock some sense into her at this point.

      She would get special treatment in jail and in any spa-style rehab.

      Also agree that both parents need to be out of her life. Is that even possible?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      She needs to be in a locked down state-mandated rehab program of a MINIMUM of 9 months, PERIOD. (I’ve been saying that for over a year now.)

      It ain’t gonna happen, punkins.

  27. Birdie says:

    I love all of it! The whole Max story is hilarious. Hope she doesn’t just go to rehab but to JAIL for a long time.

  28. sunnyinseattle says:

    I am not buying into all this excitement (again) until something actually happens. She always walks so why should this be any different? I will believe it when I see it, then I will celebrate. Not getting sucked in again. 🙁

  29. Dani says:

    I still feel bad for her, somehow, someway. (My mom would be proud that I’m showing emotions) But I just really wish someone sane could reach out to her, not her father, not her mother, not her siblings or her friends. Her best bet at this point is a year in jail at least. At the end of the day, she’s still someone’s child, sister, etc. and needs to be helped before it’s too late.

    • Mich says:

      Oh, I think over the course of her downward trajectory hundreds of ‘sane’ people have reached out to her and tried to help her.

      She is a moron.

  30. Eevee says:

    Wow – when she wakes up at 7 or 8 tonight she is going to be really surprised at just how bad one day can be.

  31. Diana says:

    “I want to have this video’s crack babies” Oh my God you had me spitting my soup with that one.

  32. Lucky Charm says:

    E! News has graciously created this time-line for us.

    May 26, 2007: Lohan is collared on a charge of driving under the influence and possession of cocaine after losing control of her Mercedes in a booze-fueled car wreck in Beverly Hills.

    July 24, 2007: The actress is taken into custody in Santa Monica on suspicion of driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine after she gets into a verbal argument with a woman whom she chased in her SUV.

    Aug. 23, 2007: Lohan pleads guilty to misdemeanor cocaine use and driving under the influence and is sentenced to one day in jail and 10 days of community service and placed on three years’ probation.

    Nov. 15, 2007: LiLo spends a whopping 84 minutes in the Lynwood, Calif. jail before being released due to overcrowding.

    March 13-16, 2009: A Beverly Hills judge issues a $50,000 warrant related to Lohan’s May 2007 DUI arrest only to rescind it three days later after her attorney Shawn Holley shows that the starlet has been complying with the terms of her probation.

    Oct. 16, 2009: The judge in her DUI case extends Lohan’s probation by an additional 12 months so she can complete her court-ordered alcohol education program, which she had up until that point failed to do given her ever-busy career.

    May 20, 2010: Her probation is revoked and a bench warrant is issued for the thespian’s arrest after Lohan skips a court date to attend the Cannes film festival and then claims she couldn’t get back because, in the words of her attorney, “her passport was stolen.” The judge sets her bail at $100,000, which she later pays to win her freedom.

    May 24, 2010: The trouble-prone party girl is fitted with an alcohol-monitoring SCRAM device on her ankle and ordered to refrain from drugs and booze and undergo weekly random drug testing as part of the conditions of her bail.

    June 8, 2010: A judge rules Lindsay’s in violation of her probation, hikes her bail to $200,000 and issues a new bench warrant for her arrest two days after Lindsay’s SCRAM ankle brace suspiciously lights up at an MTV Movie Awards afterparty. The warrant is subsequently recalled after a bail bondsman covers Lohan’s bond.

    July 6, 2010: Lohan is sentenced to 90 days in jail for failing to attend her court-ordered weekly alcohol education classes.

    July 20, 2010: Linds surrenders and ultimately ends up serving two weeks due to prison overcrowding and the non-violent nature of her crime.

    Sept. 24, 2010: Lohan’s probation revoked after she flunks a drug test which found cocaine in her system.

    Sept. 28, 2010: Lohan leaves jail and goes directly to rehab .

    Dec. 12, 2010: During Lohan’s rehab stint, a staffer at the Betty Ford Center accuses the starlet of attacking her after she asks Lohan to submit to a drug and alcohol test. The charges are later dropped .

    Feb. 9, 2011: Surprise! LL is taken back into custody after pleading not guilty to stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice jewelry store.

    Apr. 22, 2011: Lohan is given 120 days in county jail and 480 hours of community service after a judge finds she violated her probation on the 2007 DUI. At the same time, her necklace-jacking charge is knocked down to a misdemeanor.

    May 26, 2011: She’s released from L.A.’s Lynwood Jail due to overcrowding and serves out the rest of her stint under house arrest .

    Oct. 19, 2011: The Mean Girls star has her probation revoked (again!) after she fails to perform her community service obligations. After being briefly detained, she gets out after posting $100,000 bail.

    March 14, 2012: Lohan is accused of allegedly sideswiping a person with her car outside a Hollywood hotspot and then fleeing the scene. L.A. prosecutors decline to prosecute, citing “no direct evidence.”

    March 29, 2012: The comeback kid finally completes the probation in her DUI case and is placed on informal probation for the necklace theft.

    Sept. 19, 2012: Lohan is arrested for allegedly clipping a man with her car outside New York City’s posh Dream Hotel and then leaving the scene. Manhattan D.A.’s office, however, opt not to bring charges, citing insufficient evidence .

    Oct. 10, 2012: Cops respond to a disturbance call at the Long Island, N.Y. home where Lindsay is staying with her mother, Dina Lohan, after the two allegedly have a massive blowout . No charges are filed, however.

    Nov. 29, 2012: Lohan popped outside Club Avenue in downtown Manhattan after she allegedly punched a woman in the face.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      There is actually so, SO much more, but I don’t have access to the document I created regarding her record.

    • apsutter says:

      She’s been under probation since 2007!?!?! 5 f***ing years?! Throw her entitled ass in jail already and throw away the key.

  33. lucy2 says:

    Arrested in NY and charged in LA in the same day! Impressive. Bi-coastal criminality.

    “Max was turned off by the fact LiLo was sloppy drunk inside the club.”
    Correction – Max was turned off by the fact that LiLo…is LiLo.

  34. Stuart Horsely says:

    So much for Mother Cracken’s statement that Lindsay is clean and sober – NOT !! Lying ho.

  35. dorothy says:

    What a stupid, stupid woman.

  36. original almond says:

    In the last picture she looks like she’s been dead for a week. I can’t even.

  37. emmie_a says:

    I’m not 100% positive, but I don’t think the woman (pictured) wearing the fur coat is the one Lindsay assaulted — Other sites report it’s the woman next to her (who is cut out of the picture).

  38. Skins says:

    This is so Great! The crackie just keeps giving and giving to us. Lets appreciate her while we can because if she goes into the joint, unless we get daily crack updates from jail, this site will never be the same. FREE THE CRACKIE!!!

  39. Byte Me says:

    Good luck adopting that baby boy Lindsay.
    Merry Christmas indeed.

    • kimcheee says:

      I would hope that she would not be allowed to adopt a child for all the money on Earth. She couldn’t afford to see a psychologist, she said to the court during her last big jail scare and all of the court days. How can she afford a child and child care? She’d never be able to handle raising a child unless she got a nanny to raise herself and the child.

  40. Carolyn says:

    The kicker for me was the reference to Max going home with another woman. He knocked back Lindsay. Take That! No wonder she was angry.

    Please various US-state legal systems…give this chick proper punishment for her crimes.

  41. Bowers says:

    This Mac looks like Bjorn Van der Sloot.

  42. Samigirl says:

    Why would she think it’s ok to slap/punch another person just bc a dude from a boy band doesn’t want you?! She’s insane! Did she think the chick would just give her a pass bc of who she is?!

  43. Memphis says:

    Merry Christmas to all, and to all a crack shenanigans night 🙂

  44. hillbillyinthecorner says:

    That’s not the woman she hit….The one with the bruise on her face is the short one they cut out of the picture TMZ had a good closeup this morning of her coming out of the police station and you could see the bruises good…also its the Big girl thats married to the guy ..I didn’t notice a ring on her fingers……. makes sense because Lindsay wouldn’t go after somebody who could beat her ass and that big girl looks like she could…the little one on the other hand ……cause Lindsay is a Bully…

  45. Listerino says:

    It won’t be a full on cracken christmas until her ass is behind jail.

    • Memphis says:

      I’m not holding my breath!

      She’s a slippery little crackin that one.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        It’s all the slime, from her sleazy dirty dealings. They’re gonna need some Dawn to get that stuff off. (It’s what they use to de-oil the wildlife after spills, you know.)

        And a sandblaster.

      • Boo says:

        Bells, when you said “Dawn,” I immediately thought you meant Lindsay’s victim at the Betty Ford center. So many victims.

  46. Katyusha says:

    Man, she’s gross.

  47. e.non says:

    here’s another way lohan is not like taylor: i don’t believe elizabeth taylor was ever arrested for sucker-punching another woman in the face…

  48. d says:

    Lindsey does what Lindsey wants to do, always. Whenever and however she wants. Nothing else matters in her life, no matter what new PR firm she gets, no matter what film work she gets, no matter what her lawyers tell her, no matter what the judge says, no matter what the insurance company says, no matter what anyone says or does, Lindsey is all about Lindsey always. Nothing will change in her life until she wants to, commits to it, and accepts the help she’ll need to get some stability and normalcy in her life.
    It’s never too late to turn things about, but you have to want to and commit to it and maybe even work hard for it and make sacrifices and what have you, and Lindsay hasn’t yet shown she’s willing to do that. She may never do so.
    Maybe when she stops getting paid for appearances, when the hangers on finally drop off, when she stops getting money that allows her to behave the way she does, but that may be a while yet.
    I also think she’s the subject of a blind item recently about an actress who got their younger sister hooked on drugs and exposed to all kinds of horrors and/but doesn’t think it’s her fault. That’s Lindsay to a T and would explain why Lainey promises her readers that Lindsay is beyond redemption.She has yet to prove otherwise.

    • boo says:

      I agree with what you’re saying, but you have to consider how high and drunk she was, this always makes for drama, because you think you are invincible. Alcohol and drugs lowered her inhibitions and she acted out. A very angry and sick girl. Hope she gets help one day.

  49. cynicalsmirk says:

    I hate to admit how endlessly amusing it is to watch this delusional mess spiral ever-further downward. That says something really awful about me, doesn’t it, LOL!!?

    Maybe this is her true career – maybe she’s getting paid for giving the likes of us fodder for our nasty-spirited laughter! And brightening up our dull little days….

  50. Stubbylove says:

    Mark my words – though the Crackin’ is up to her usual boring crackin’ ways – she will not do any jail time nor will she experience any severe consequences from any of her multiple charges. I have ZERO confidence in the CA judical system and a 3rd degree assault is no big whoop in NY. The Crackin’ lives! Only Medusa’s head can turn her to stone and stop her!

  51. artemis says:

    The hatred on here is astounding.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Welcome. *hands artemis a cracktini*

      • artemis says:

        I repeat, the hatred on here is astounding. How do you derive so much joy from another person’s suffering?

      • Bodhi says:

        You do realize what the name of the site it, right?

      • kimcheee says:

        😀 Nice point, Bodhi.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Oh, artemis, sweatpea…whilst there are a few others more deserving of my ire at this immediate moment in time, Blohan has CERTAINLY earned this.

        If you don’t like it, I politely suggest you find another gossip site

    • cr says:

      It’s not really hate, more like schadenfreude .
      It’s really all that’s left, whatever pity we might have had for her dissipated a long, long time ago.

    • skuddles says:

      No Artemis, not hatred – glee 😉

    • MARIA says:

      let me ask you this artemis (and I can’t get over the fact that you call yourself that):

      if a god damn brat, who is spoiled rotten and screams on the top of it’s lungs as soon as it doesn’t get what it wants, lies, beats people, blames everyone else and the parents just says, ” oh my darling, of course you’ll get this, everyone else is bad people and you are the best”.

      When this kid finally get’s to hear a resounding NO! for the first time and you think “well about bloody time” is that hate?

  52. MARIA says:

    Hahahaha did anyone else catch the

    “Call your dad”

    comment from one of the by standers?

  53. Shelly says:

    I step away from the gossip and computer for a day and all crack hell breaks loose!!!! That’ll teach me! Holy Mother of Crack – but I think she’s in some deep crack trouble this time.

  54. Becky says:

    Ok hold up- what’s with the first pic? Her legs and stomach don’t look like that! Her chin sure, but… This has to be shopped right? RIGHT?

  55. erika says:

    OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!
    omg!!!! yes yes yes yes yes!!! oh I love you i love YOU SO MUCH!

    I LOVE EVERYONE on this board! I love all you guys! we did it! we did it! all of our bitching, ranting, wiping each other’s tears “why?? why??? how???”

    Hallejulah!!! Hallejulah!

    omg! I’m gonna go get DRUNK, snort some coke, prostitute myself and then drive all as a celebratory tribute to the HoLo!!!!!!

  56. erika says:

    hey!!!

    I predicted this! remember? last Sunday am? OMG, I predicted the following would happen to Lindsay:

    Liz and Dick premiers, the show gets panned= TRUE

    HoLo is SO upset over the show’s horrible reviews that she goes on a drug/drinking bender= TRUE

    because of that bender, HoLo ends up arrested and in jail= TRUE

    but….the last part of my prediction has her trying to end her life. I’m not going to go there w/ that. But, I am thrilled out of my thigh high panties otherwise!!!

  57. Brasileira says:

    MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!I knew there was a God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  58. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m obviously very late to the party (errands and mundane ish like getting the hairy kids food and litter, banking, paying rent, post office…you know, the normal first of the month stuff), but I am going to scroll up and read all the comments.

    Just as soon as someone hands me a crack-nog and sea jasper cocktail. 😉

    p.s. Is anyone else having a “blocked” message come up when trying to reply to another CB-er’s comment? Because I can’t reply to ANYONE on THIS thread ONLY. CB, if I’ve said something wrong, please send me an email & let me know, because I am truly sorry and will NEVER say it again.

    • lulu1 says:

      That happened to me this morning…

    • Shelly says:

      It’s happened to me before too, and I know I’ve never said anything I shouldn’t. It only happens on my iPhone though, when it does happen. I think it’s just a site glitch! Or that’s what I’m assuming unless told otherwise, ha!

    • Mrs. O says:

      ‘hairy kids” made me laugh almost as hard as some of the comments on here. Much more honest than ‘fur baby.’

    • apsutter says:

      Omg…thank you for that. That was my favorite part in the whole movie and when I clicked your linked I busted out laughing!

  59. Sophia says:

    Haha, this totally made my day! Sad, I know…

  60. logan says:

    I bet Paris Hilton peed her pants a little today.

  61. OXA says:

    Now to top this day off if Halle Berry loses custody I will streak down my driveway.

  62. serena says:

    omg thank you crack santa!

  63. emu says:

    the ‘other woman’ looks like she has a bruise on her face. who knows.

    meh.

  64. Cathy says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  65. juju says:

    she should be arrested for that poor ass acting on Liz & Dick. I cant believe they couldnt have found another actress to play the great Elizabeth Tayor instead they put this poor excuse of an actress & person to play her.

  66. DottieDot says:

    This guy is so not worth fighting over!

  67. Dory says:

    Can someone enlighten me how she can keep up that lifestyle ? The drugs, the partying, the Porshes, Marmont, etc. It all costs a ton of money. She does not have big contracts lining up and it is hard to believe that somebody would be willing to subsidize all this mess.

  68. Dory says:

    How can she afford to keep up that lifestyle with no big contracts piling up ?

  69. asdfg says:

    I thought she quit the drugs? If she was back on drugs wouldn’t she be thinner? And are actors/actresses not drug tested before they get signed on to movies? Hmmmmmm…….

  70. skuddles says:

    Aw, Christmas came early this year! Thanks Santa 😀

    So this Max dude seems to have a thing for the ladies who look rode hard and put away wet…

  71. PortlandJan says:

    Sorry, double post on other thread

  72. emmie_a says:

    I just read a story (and there is video out there as well) that as Lindsay was leaving jail this morning and getting into a car, her trustworthy assistant, the man that has lied for her and who had just bailed her ass out of jail, was kicked out of the car by Lindsay. She was screaming to get him out of the car.

    I’m sure she’s mad because he told the police the truth about who was actually driving the car after her accident — so you turn on someone for telling the truth? What a piece of sh-t.

    His name is Gavin Doyle in case you want to read up on this or watch the video.

  73. d says:

    Meanwhile, Sharon Stone at what, 50? looks better than Lohan at 26 (at least according to that pic on dlisted).
    The End.

  74. lower-case deb says:

    THANK YOU BABY JESUS!

  75. snark says:

    Just had to post this link here so y’all can scroll down and see the pic posted of Linds while she was in the club. She wasn’t drunk… she has her WATER BOTTLE right beside her lololol!!
    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/lindsay-lohan-fight-manhattan-nightclub-article-1.1209996

  76. Cliff says:

    Meanwhile Lindsay’s old “rival” Hilary Duff is happily married, has a beautiful child and is working on several projects at present. Arguably similar talent levels back in their primes (no insult intended to Hilary)but one is doing SO MUCH BETTER than the other… Ahhh

  77. Green_Eyes says:

    Holy crap! And I missed out on this yesterday! WOW!

  78. chalkdustgirl says:

    Wow, last pic of Lindsay in the black leather jacket is absolutely pathetic.

  79. Maxine says:

    That Max George guy looks JUST like Joran Van De Sloot. Ladies, don’t go to Aruba with him! That is all . . .