Gwyneth Paltrow can ‘eat most men under a table,’ tries to do so in video clip: gross?

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow just doesn’t stop. There’s something to be said for that level of persistence, but I feel like Goop could take a few months out of the spotlight and put her Goopy newsletters on hold, and everyone might actually miss her condescending ways. By the way, have you read the latest issue of Goop? Gwyneth basically opened a bottle of wine, surfed the web, and did a link dump. Oddly enough, that link dump does not include Celebitchy … I wonder why.

At the moment, however, today’s installment of Gwyneth Paltrow, multitasker extraordinaire (remember, she’s a writer among various other lofty pursuits), features Goop paying a visit to Jamie Oliver for a taped episode of his “Jamie & Jimmy’s Food Fight Club.” Jamie is so frenetic, but I’m glad he finally stopped calling himself “The Naked Chef” though. At a certain point, that innuendo started to get icky. He is still so full of lame gimmicks that I’m surprised Gwyneth agreed to appear on his show. Her dear friend Mario Batali would never pull this crap, right? Goop must have an ulterior motive for appealing to Jamie’s crowd, but I can’t figure out what that motive would be unless she is actually trying to impress the peasants who watch Jamie’s shows.

On this episode, Jamie allegedly makes Goop eat a hamburger, french fries, and milkshake while riding a roller coaster. Thankfully, there’s no clip available for that portion, but here is a video of Gwyneth taking the “Chubby Bunny” challenge, wherein she stuffs marshmallows in her face while repeatedly uttering, “chubby bunny.” At one point, she says, “This is gross,” and she’s correct in that statement:

Gwyneth Paltrow

So does this video make you like Goop more? I still feel like she’s looking down at as all through a face full of marshmallows. They were probably actually organic marshmallows made with vanilla extract culled from the exquisite tears of angels. I don’t doubt that Gwyneth does eat a lot of food on the regular basis though — she just exercises two full hours per day with her fraud trainer, Tracy Anderson, to get rid of it all.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

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60 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow can ‘eat most men under a table,’ tries to do so in video clip: gross?”

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  1. Nessa says:

    I actually think she is kinda cute in this short video…

  2. KJ says:

    I really hate Jamie Oliver’s face – I can’t really describe why. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy, great chef, whatever. But he has such an irritating little face.

    If things w her and Chris Martin ever call it quits, I think Gwen should hook up with Jamie. They go well together.

  3. kristin says:

    Stuffing your face is so gauche. And peasanty. *rolls eyes*
    I love how this comes out after her trainer piece. Sounds like someone’s getting yelled at again… ;)

  4. Ellie66 says:

    Maybe if she was drinking them under the table, then I maybe might like a bit more.

  5. kimcheee says:

    If I were her publicist (and hated her), I would have booked her on Andrew Zimmerman’s Bizzare Foods. I’d like to see her eat some REALLY strange stuff. If that failed, we’d launch a reality show where Gwen, hubby Chris and Madonna are locked in a room together for 36 hours and it’s all on live camera feed. Sweet! We’ll make Gwen relevant again….somehow. Can she put her ankles behind her head? There’s Chewy from Chelsea lately and that dog…

  6. TorontoE says:

    One time at a work related event where food was provided I said “I’ve been eating men under the table all day”. As soon as I said it I realized how pervy it sounded, but not before every dude there made fun of me.

  7. DSS says:

    I’ve noticed that her legs look fab when they are bare, but look emaciated in those jeans.

  8. Rita says:

    Her marriage would be more secure if once in a while she’d “eat her husband under the table” or he her.

  9. Starlight says:

    Whatever, I still like her. She is so misunderstood and envied.

    • Minty says:

      Misunderstood? Perhaps, except she’s pretentious and desperate to stay relevant. She can be envied for her bank account and slimness, but that’s about it. And her slimness is questionable, considering her crazy workouts and her diet (which contributed to her osteopenia – a condition that’s a precursor to osteoporosis).

      Her insecurity is easy to read, with all the try-hard antics for attention and her humblebrags. People secure with themselves don’t need to rave about their life to the press. They don’t need to toot their own horn. Gwyneth’s favorite subject is herself, always. She also has a strange marriage, yet will deign to lecture others about relationships.

      She can’t carry a film these days and her singing career never took off. So, as much as you like her, she’s just another self-absorbed celebrity who doesn’t have enough charisma or talent to overshadow neither the serious thespians nor the current “It” girls of Hollywood.

    • Moi says:

      I have loved her since “Emma”, but I understand why some (or a lot) do not like her. She comes across as very pretentious, but does not mean to. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, a stable family, a father who absolutely adored her; she doesn’t know much else. She could use a little Angie Jolie by going to third world countries that have NOTHING and it would most likely shake her to her core. But I do not think she is a bad person and from what I’ve seen throughout the years, everyone that meets her, likes/adores her. I would bet money that she has a fantastic personality and is fun. She just does not know how to come across as relatable to (us) “little people”.

  10. ctkat1 says:

    I think she eats a fair amount of food as well. I think the food that she eats is all organic, free range, whole grains and lean protein, etc. She’s not eating pizza, hamburgers, milkshakes, or the like. But I don’t think she’s like Victoria Beckham, who orders a side plate of steamed veggies at restaurants and had a slice of fruit for her birthday. Gwyneth eats full plates of food- she’s too tied to her cooking thing not to.
    Her exercise schedule is ridiculous, of course. And probably ensures that if she eats 2,000 calories a day (which is twice what the average actress eats, I’m sure), she’s burning half of them every day.

    • janie says:

      the whole “i eat so much” is a total farce. TA has a serious eating disorder. known in LA. A few years ago she promoted sonya dakar, a total fraud who was operating lasers without a permit and bit the health inspectors ear when he nailed her for it. (not a joke.)
      I dont buy any of this self help/wellness bs. it is all just so she can make money off of goop and her business interests.

  11. Tiffany says:

    I know that it is a passtime to rip on Goop, but there has to be something about her women can relate to. She does have an vibe about her where you can sit down with a drink or enjoy a good meal or even just shoot the sh*t with. Is she really like this or is such a try hard that she just can’t, relax. I used to like her, what happened.

  12. Aubra says:

    …she’s still as bland as a rice cake

  13. Mimi says:

    Children have died playing ‘Chubby Bunny’ from choking. It’s a game banned in most schools and scout troops. I’m shocked that this ‘game’ is being promoted like this.

    • CreamSoda says:

      Plus, wasn’t Jamie promoting healthier eating for school lunches this past year or was that someone else? Getting Gwynie to scarf down junkfood is inconsistent with all that.

    • zinjojo says:

      I was coming to the comments to say the same thing! This game should NEVER be publicized (a variation of it is to stuff Peeps in your mouth instead of marshmallows, but really the same thing).

      Kids have DIED from asphyxiation playing this game, and it’s been one of those things I’ve made a point of talking about with my son to never let anyone talk you into playing because it’s dangerous. And as much as I want to see Goopy do something ridiculous, this is not the thing.

  14. snappyfish says:

    but the men don’t immediately run off and swallow a box of laxatives.

  15. Birdix says:

    in her cookbook, she talks about not eating red meat. maybe it was a turkey burger?

    • poppy says:

      she also said she and her vegetarian husband love sweetbreads. but they don’t eat four-legged animals. even though sweetbreads come from veal, pig or cow. four legged-animals.
      always contradicting herself. her antics over the years, ugh, i just can’t help but dislike her*. why make a public service spot saying people that drive suvs are supporting terrorism yet own a mercedes suv and when driven always driven an escalade? she also said goop would NEVER be a commercial site. she is constantly trying to sell something, from poop juice to image. through the years it comes off as fake.
      she does get an A++ for the try hard.
      *yet love how (unintentionally) she is utterly entertaining.

      sorry for the rant

  16. Amy C says:

    the veido makes me smile actually

  17. lucy2 says:

    I can’t watch the video at the moment, but when she does stuff like this I always get the impression she’s doing it to try to appear casual and relatable – rather than doing it for fun. It seems like trying too hard. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s always the impression I get from her.

  18. Agnes says:

    I wish she’d just go away for a while. What is she selling these days? Her newsletter?

  19. Arlene says:

    I don’t get the GP hate at all, I think she’s hilariously out there/away with the faries. Nobody is forced to read Goop, or watch her on food shows. She also strikes me as someone you could have a good night out with.

  20. KellyinSeattle says:

    She’s trying so desperately to stay relevant.

  21. MollyB says:

    She has a nice enough body but working out 2 hours a day? Even if that meant I could have her body, I’d still pass.

  22. Mew says:

    The only way possible to be as skinny as she is and yet “be able to eat healthy men under table” is to be a bulimic. What kind of a message is she trying to bring here? Probably one of those “notice me!!!”

  23. Faye says:

    Putting aside how much I think Goop is the worst on a regular basis, I can’t believe she’d participate in something as awful as this. I hate food “games” or eating contests — they’re disgusting, and IMO they help encourage a disordered view of food. I’m surprised that someone as “refined” as Goop, who prides herself on promoting an allegedly healthy and fit lifestyle, would do this.

    Maybe too much TMI, but I suffered from anorexia as a teen/into my early 20′s, and seeings things like this made it worse. It would just encourage my distrust of food and the fear of ending up like someone in an eating contest. Thank God I am now thin in a healthy, fit way, but being able to view food as it should be seen -fuel that should be consumed healthily, and on special occasions splurged on– took a long time. I don’t think I’m alone in that, and things like this help prevent us from developing that healthy mindset toward food.

  24. A says:

    Why is it a bad thing that she wants to be healthy? What a strange thing to look down on someone for.

  25. MsPaige says:

    Does anyone else thinks she has a man face

    • Minty says:

      I think Aniston has more of a man face. Even dressed up for events Gwyneth usually looks washed out. Gwynnie and Jen have something in common: they are both Plain Janes whose looks are greatly improved by the help of the most talented makeup artists and hairdressers. Wearing fancy designer clothes doesn’t hurt either. But take away all that expensive grooming, Photoshop, and bullsh-t PR hype, and what’s left are bland and plain faces.

    • dagsohyoumeandogs says:

      Could kind of see that because of her defined jawline, but I like it! She has some strong features but still looks feminine, especially with the right makeup. Her makeup in that Hugo Boss picture with the black leather dress is AWFUL. Makeup artists need to stop putting dark eyeshadow on the inner nose area like that, it makes eyes look close together and bruised. Yick.

  26. poppy says:

    omg i think the goop onslaught of 2013 has already begun. there is still the post holiday poop cleanse, cookbook, im3, her list goes on and on.
    just hoping for more pleather-panted phantom wiener covers on down market magazines. rich!
    seriously, she is so awful it is entertaining. complete schadenfreude.

    ps how is eating a bowl of marshmallows healthy even if there was no choking hazard? such stupid gimmick to sell what?

  27. Lindsey says:

    Am I REALLY supposed to believe that Gwyneth eats more than brown rice and salmon for breakfast, lunch and dinner? If she were really eating like that, she’d have some fat somewhere on her damn body: SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS, ma’am.

    • Annie says:

      I 100% believe her. She is thin, but in a toned way rather than emaciated. Thin people can and do pig out and eat tons of fatty foods SOMETIMES like say a few times per week, or if they eat a huge greasy breakky then they go light for lunch and dinner. The main reason people become over weight is because they eat like this 3-4 times per *day* rather than week and they never work out, run or heaven forbid even walk anywhere. It takes a LOT of calories on a very consistant basis combined with inactivity to be fat.

      Being slim and toned isn’t about depriving yourself, it’s just about not consistantly stuffing yourself and staying active.

  28. Lulu says:

    I like her. I’m skinny, but I keep myself that way by only eating outrageously once a day, or once in awhile. You just can’t do it 24/7. Plus Gwinny trains like a maniac, we already know that. I wish I had her money for clothes. And her body to wear them.

  29. Hubbahun says:

    I actually watched the whole show (because I couldn’t quite believe it was happening) and it was HILARIOUS – in a bad way. Right at the start, as Gwynnie joined Jamie, she looked around at the patrons in the cafe they were in and said “I never thought I’d be…here.” The mask dropped! She might as well have added “With all these peasants!”. Also hilarious was her assertion that Chris Martin wants to do a survival course. Yes THAT Chris Martin. On a ruffty-tuffty survival course. Cried laughing. She really is obnoxious. It didn’t do her any favours.

  30. erika says:

    she looks old!!! im 40 n’ look better than her no wrinkles..

  31. Bird says:

    You CAN eat a lot and still be thin. When I work out a lot and have some serious lean muscle mass, I can truly eat whatever i want and stay bikini ready. It’s all about muscle.

  32. Lithe says:

    She seems to have a really weird relationship with food and her digestive system.

  33. slash's_hat says:

    i believe it-i’d let Gwyneth eat me under the table, too.

  34. Carolyn says:

    Is Jamie not involved with the Ministry of Food anymore? Can’t think of any logical reason why someone on his show would be stuffing marshmallows into their mouth, let alone it being Goop.

    Just plain weird.

    PS. Glad I’m not the only one who interpreted the “under the table” line as something other than what is is :)

  35. lisa2 says:

    I just can’t get over how much she looks like Claire Danes now. Especially in that 5th picture. Kind of scary.

    I guess she is more focused on this kind of thing then acting. First it was singing. She seems to be searching for something or trying to find that thing to make her feel full.

  36. traxie says:

    It’s so interesting that while Goop is playing “Chubby Bunny” and shilling her Tracey Anderson crap, her peers like Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts are getting SAG and Golden Globe nominations left right and centre. Goop can pretend all she likes that she doesn’t have a career because she focuses on her kids … we know the truth. Nobody offers her parts anymore. If she was really so interested in being a great mom to her kids, she wouldn’t go to the opening of an envelope like she currently does. I mean, how many Dubai hotel openings or fashion awards nights is it really essential to hire a babysitter for?!