Gwyneth Paltrow does her 1st Max Factor ad, thinks she’s a writer: lovely or silly?

Gwyneth Paltrow

As Kaiser reported in September, Gwyneth Paltrow has gone downmarket by signing on as the face of Max Factor cosmetics. In addition to the obvious slumming that Goop is doing for the quick buck endorsement, it’s also worth noting that she’s not a makeup person at all. In fact, Gwyneth has been known to attend events sans makeup because, basically, she can’t do her own makeup. So for whatever reason (the almighty Goop dollar), Gwyneth decided to sign on to tell all of the peasants exactly how they should do their makeup. Yeah, I don’t get it either, but let’s just humor her anyway.

Did you know that there are “seven sides of Gwyneth Paltrow“? That’s what Max Factor would have us believe about Goop, who has apparently inspired (through her illustrious, divine life) seven different make-up looks to inspire seven respective different aspects of their advertising campaign. Let’s see if I can come up with seven different reflections of Goop: shopper, traveller, shopper, woodburning-oven pizza baker, shopper. Ahhh, I give up. Luckily for the unimaginative sorts like me, Max Factor has already dreamt up seven different occupations for the “multi-tasking” Gwyneth, and they’ve already started with the most unlikely: writer!

Uh, writer? That’s an odd place to start considering that each of Goop’s newsletters generally consist of one paragraph of lofty, thesaurus-driven prose followed by a guest writer. She even used a ghostwriter for last year’s cookbook, My Father’s Daughter, in which Gwyneth was found to have actually written (all by herself), “I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun… except hot dogs (sorry, Dad).” Well, Max Factor still seems to think that Goop is a real writer, and so they’ve interviewed her as part of their advertising campaign. Here’s what she had to say in her defense:

Gwyneth Paltrow

On her “writer” persona: “The writer persona is me going into town for a lunch or into London for a meeting or going to a friend’s house for dinner. Or me when I’m most myself, doing something creative, having a look that says, confidence, creativity but still very much who I am.”

She’s not really a make-up girl: “I have a funny relationship with make-up, in my own life I wear very little of it. It’s huge part of my professional life and I have been getting it done since I was 18 for films and attending premieres. It’s been important for the professional aspects of my life. As I’m getting older I’m trying to experiment with make up more myself and use it more myself around the house. My make-up routine is very simple. I’m big into mascara and blusher and that’s about as far as I get when I’m running around at home.”

She’s learned so much from this campaign: “It’s been interesting doing the shoot and I’m starting to pay attention more to what the make-up artists do and how I can do it in my own life. I think maybe I can try this trick at home – maybe I can be a bit more brave and try a red lipstick or something.”

[From Max Factor]

Oh Gwyneth, hahaha. Her “writer” persona is nothing like the vast majority of people who actually write for a living. My friends don’t normally throw dinner parties as part of our profession — we meet at Panera Bread. But that doesn’t involve vintage wine and, therefore, is too gauche for Goop. I think the main part of the problem with the Goop’s “writer” persona is that she doesn’t speak at all about the actual writing process. Instead, she thinks it’s all about going out in London for dinner and meetings, which doesn’t really speak to the solitary process of a writer. Those differences aside, Goop doesn’t have any interest in doing her own makeup, and even if she did, she wouldn’t realize that a lot of writers stay at home and don’t put on makeup just to do their jobs. Still, I know how to do my own makeup, even if it usually only involves some minimal eyeliner and lip gloss.

Here’s a behind-the-scenes video (thanks to the Telegraph) of Gwyneth spouting off about makeup. She’s making far too much money for this.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Screencaps courtesy of Max Factor

 

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51 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow does her 1st Max Factor ad, thinks she’s a writer: lovely or silly?”

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  1. Hubbahun says:

    As someone who has trained and studied to be a writer, this really annoys me. Hey I like geeky space stuff! Does that means I’m an astronaut? Fuck off Gwynnie, you annoying tool.

  2. DailyNightly says:

    Why do we continue to feed into her delusions? She needs a serious reality check.

  3. Beta says:

    OT: I love how she wears jackets, that white one is lust worthy!

  4. BengalCat2000 says:

    How is this woman still relevant? She’s an ok actress, but I find her average looking at best. She does have a great figure, but her out-of touch comments piss me off b/c so many people are dealing with joblessness & trying to put food on the table (including myself).

    • jfessenbecker says:

      She is a actress
      Who cares if she wears make-up or not Would you bitch about her if she was a model. Most of the time models do not wear high fashion or make up. They also have no idea about make up. Or sew a dress or jacket! So please Get over yourself. We love or hate her for how people dress her put on her make-up, fix and cut her hair and tell her what to say. And if she can do that it only takes away from someone who went to school to have a career doing it. And in this economy lets not take more work way from others. And no that is not my job. I am a Chef in Denver Colorado.

  5. alons-y alonso says:

    Ick…Really?
    Dear Gwenyth: I studied museum studies and archaeology. That doesn’t mean I’m a museum director or Indiana Jones.

  6. poppy says:

    “…doing something creative, having a look that says, confidence, creativity but still very much who I am.”
    isn’t she just saying she really isn’t confident or creative but just goes for that “look”?
    oops!
    max factor helps her appear to be a writer as well. gives her that writerly look.

  7. Johnny Lee says:

    She is irrelevant these days. So who cares.

  8. Liberty says:

    Maybe she thought Max meant “most” –

  9. Victoria says:

    Whoever did her makeup for Maxfactor and photoshop should win an award, she looks better than ever. I’m sorry if I a mere peasant spoke out of turn. God she is annoying! A writer, yeah ok and I’m a cop from all the cop shows I watch…

  10. Birdix says:

    Why is her writer persona about going out to eat? Shouldn’t it be about writing? Or at least thinking of ideas for someone else to write?

  11. Agnes says:

    She’s bs, as usual.

    As an aside, what else comes in a hot dog bun besides hot dogs?

  12. Meow Mix says:

    My cats farts are more creative than Goopy.

  13. Incredulous says:

    i rite gud. i rite so gooder me am gwyenteh paltraw. crayons r tastey.

  14. Lindsey says:

    As an actual writer, I’m kind of offended. I WISH my life involved going out to fancy, schmancy (yeah I said it) dinners and meetings anywhere. Any writer will tell you the entire process, inhabited by a certain person, if you will, involves a good deal of solitude, too much coffee and whisky, or coffee spiked with whisky, and not leaving the house for days at a time.

    • j.eyre says:

      I shall back you up on this well written comment, Lindsey. A “persona” is not helpful to a writer, unless you are trying to wrestle out a character. You are consumed by the writing whether you are feeling creative or not.

      And the whiskey-spiked coffee washes down the tub of ice cream you try to drown yourself in when your editor comes back and tells you that which you just poured your soul into is terrible and needs to be completely re-worked.

      And don’t get us started on writers block, Gwyneth darling. Is that when you leap into another of your persona – to not be bothered with such messy things?

  15. francesca1 says:

    She is really channeling her mother in that lead pic. Her jaw looks wonky, though.

  16. dlc says:

    I thought her comments were joke comments written by the celpbitchy staff. Omg, that drivel made it into a real campaign! Mwahahaha! Made my morning. Oh goop, don’t ever change, u amuse me so!..

  17. Shelly says:

    She annoys the shit out of me….extremely pretentious. Ugh….

  18. TxGal says:

    She is delusional. Just like she thinks her marriage is perfect. How much was her husband paid to stay with her? LOLOL

  19. Susan says:

    Like the GOOP would ever wear Max Factor products!

    Pffffffft!

    Mitt Romney would have been a better “celebrity” to use for these makeup ads! Or better yet, Rafalca Romney for that matter!

  20. Grace says:

    She’s so boring. Why couldn’t she have looked like her mom? Maybe her daughter will.

  21. lower-case deb says:

    “…is me going into town for a lunch or into London for a meeting or going to a friend’s house for dinner. Or me when I’m most myself, doing something creative, having a look that says, confidence, creativity but still very much who I am.”

    no mention of the word “write” in that whole paragraph. not even “dictate to secretary while lounging on a chaise petting a bichon frise and eating a box of expensive chocolate”.

  22. Lulubelle says:

    Ugh, “blusher” she’s British now??

  23. dj says:

    Is this a U.S. ad for Max Factor. I thought they did not sell it in the states anymore. I used to love Max Factor mascara it stayed on forever.

  24. AlexC says:

    Maybe she’ll develop a cleanse for writer’s block. I loathe her with every fibre of my being.

  25. Ally8 says:

    So she writes her blog on a typewriter?

    Maybe Gwyneth and Affleck should get back together. They both get more annoying and out of touch with every interview.

  26. TheOneAndOnlyOnly says:

    Victoria I’m a physicist because I read scientific american, Right; why can’t cosmetic companies hire models Remember that great Revlon Unforgettable faces ad campaign from 1987-1991? Goopy needs more money like Donald trump needs more exposure – pop culture sucks these days – the revenue stream goes to the favored few.

  27. lamb chops says:

    What happened to the days of actors just acting, not designing, or being artists or lifestyle experts? My writer persona consists of five plus years writing on our kitchen table when my children nap, and querying agents and dealing with endless rejections in a field that is increasingly trend based. I think her writer persona sounds a lot more fun.