Where does Angelina Jolie rank in Star Mag’s ‘Best & Worst Lovers’ list?

I don’t want to oversell this week’s Star Magazine cover story, but it’s really enjoyable. It’s silly and funny and mostly BS, and if you want to pick up a fun tabloid this weekend, it should be Star. Personally, I never care for the “Best & Worst Bodies” or “Diets” or whatever issues, although I will make an exception for the Best & Worst Dressed of any tabloid. But who would have thought to compile a list of the Best & Worst Hollywood lovers? Genius. Anyway, a lot of celebrities are included in the lengthy cover story, and here are my favorites:

*Angelina Jolie is “boring” (according to Billy Bob Thornton) but Angelina and Brad “regularly do it behind the waterfall in their pool.”

*Channing Tatum “loves getting things going by giving his wife a lap dance, and he often gives Jenna a full body massage after sex!”

*An ex-lover says Colin Farrell is “as wild as Mickey Mouse… we made love three times but the actual sex only lasted 10 minutes.”

*Taylor Swift’s lovers come and go so fast because she’s a prude – “All she wants to do is kiss for hours which is probably why none of the guys she dates stick around!”

*Jennifer Aniston is a “spoiled princess” in bed – “She just lays there and wants to do none of the work… she’ll complain that she’s too tired or that her back hurts. She makes up every excuse to skip sex and never initiates it.”

*Robert Pattinson is “amazing in bed,” says an ex-lover. “We’d glance at each other throughout the night because it made it more exciting when we got home.”

*John Mayer is “sensational in bed” says an ex. “Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of her life. I’m not sure how he does it, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined – totally hung up on him and left wanting more.”

*Ashton Kutcher prefers threesomes – with two chicks.

*Ben Affleck puts flowers around the bed and he’s into giving massages – and making sure his woman’s needs are taken care of before his own.”

*Blake Lively is a “real sexpot” – she “sends sexy photos and videos to Ryan Reynolds and loves getting in sexy costumes for him. She uses toys while having sex too.”

*Ryan Gosling “has a laser focus when making love – he’s completely in the moment and absolutely amazing.”

*Bradley Cooper is “dull as dishwater in bed… he talks in nonstop French because he thinks it’s a turn-on, but it’s like being in bed with Pepe Le Pew!”

*Adam Levine is more concerned with stretching out than his partners.

*Prince Harry is “very sexual” and “he loves lotions and scented body oils. He knows how to please a lady and make her feel like she’s the only one he’s ever slept with.”

*Jennifer Lopez is a screamer – “If she enjoys what you’re doing, she’ll scream so loud that the windows will rattle.”

Hmm… I think I’ll start with some Channing Tatum, then go for some Prince Harry, and maybe finish up with some Blake Lively.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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89 Responses to “Where does Angelina Jolie rank in Star Mag’s ‘Best & Worst Lovers’ list?”

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  1. watchingyoubitch says:

    I was hoping for major brangelina story but this is …boring
    About colin,if you saw his sextape you would know he doesnt last long;-)

  2. mln76 says:

    This mostly sounds made up. I do remember a commenter here saying that Jon Mayer likes to call his own name out during sex. I don’t know if it’s true or not but I could picture it being true because he’s such a d-bag.

  3. MrsBPitt says:

    Channing Tatum for the win!!! Could this guy be any more perfect???

    • lili says:

      When he will be totally bald (very soon).

    • V4Real says:

      I don’t put too much faith in the accuracy of this BS. But anyways the only people mentioned above that I would want to have sex with is Angelina, Colin and Ben. BTW Billy Bob didn’t say Angelina was boring he said just because you marry someone hot doesn’t mean that there good in bed.

      To each his own but Tatum needs to let the stripper thing go. We know you were a stripper before you made it in Hollywood but please hang up your clear heels already.

      • sashavice says:

        No, Billy Bob did say Angelina was bad in bed.

        “Sex doesn’t have to be with a model to be good. Sometimes with the model, the actress or the ‘sexiest person in the world’, it may literally be like fucking a couch,”

        Guess who was named the sexiest person in the world at the time?

      • lisa2 says:

        People that don’t like Angie need to stand on some point, She can’t be the sexual deviant that can take any man away form any woman by her existence and then be terrible in bed. According to the none fans she used that great sex to snatch Brad and keep him. So what exactly is it.

        Yeah it spins depending on the BS Story. I don’t believe StAR knows squat about what goes on in anyone’s bedroom. Hell they think everyone is pregnant every week.

      • V4Real says:

        um, I don’t see a mention of Angie’s name in that quote. BTW Billy and Angie are still friends.

        “Guess who was named the sexiest person in the world at the time?”
        Um, Brad, so maybe he was talking about sex with Brad.

      • sashavice says:

        Okay, but recently Angelina had been voted sexiest in the world. I’m not an Angelina hater, but it was pretty clear that he was alluding to Miss Jolie. That’s fine that they’re friends now, I don’t really care either way. People say bitter things after a breakup. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don’t. The point is, Billy Bob alleged that Angelina is bad in bed.

      • Leah says:

        Umm Billy Bob IS bipolar. Here is a GROSS interview of them bragging about their sex life in 2000. Why would he say nasty things after divorce though? Sour grapes I guess *shrug*. Gosh, Angelina has come a long way. She’s really changed :D
        http://www.angelfire.com/dc/lia/ajus.html

      • Leah says:

        And here are a few nuggets from the interview.

        Interviewer: What happened last night?

        Billy Bob: I was looking at her sleep (Angelina) and I had to restrain myself from literally squeezing her to death. Sex for us is almost too much. It’s so intense that sometimes we can look at each other and think, ” You know what, we can’t get into this right now or something’s going to happen.”

        Interviewer: So what was it like when you finally made love for the first time?

        Angelina: It’s shocking how much a human being is capable of feeling and how great it feels. It’s shocking what two people can do to each other. I had no idea.

        Billy Bob: There’s actually a sixth sense to it.

        Interviewer: You must be aware of how your marriage is percieved by the public-that people expect you to spontaneously combust.

        Angelina: We might. But it’ll be from the sex.

        Billy Bob: Spontaneous combustion is totally possible. But it’ll be together.

        Angelina: All the reasons people think it won’t last are all the reasons why they know deep down we’re perfect for each other.
        ———————-

        As I said before, Billy Bob IS bipolar.

  4. poppy says:

    isn’t john mayer the one that likes to have feces involved?

    • Kim says:

      Actually it is urine,watersports alledgely.Im suprised they didn’t make up some BS about Angelina and B&D or S&M They made up this BS from tabloid rumors.Funny how they claim AJ is boring yet they claim she seduces every man she works with.BBT never said she was boring he said some woman he was with in the past was boring.They had sex in limo according to him on the way to awards show.

    • mcmiller says:

      @ Leah:
      that Billy/Angelina interview sounds ridiculous…it reminds me of those gross “lover” skits on SNL with Wil Ferrell and Rachel Dratch. Just over the top and gross and “look at me!”

  5. dcypher1 says:

    Very disappointed in colin farrell I thought he’d score higher.

    • Micki says:

      I have a question. I thougt that “making love” INCLUDES an orgasm. And there is also the actual “sex” in case of Colin, which makes me think that “making love” is a new description of heavy petting.
      What is the difference between both?

  6. katie says:

    Why am I not surprised about Bradley Cooper being dull? If these are true, this is great. But, who ever knows with what comes out of Hollywood tabloids and “ex-lovers”

  7. stellalovejoydiver says:

    Here for:
    “*Bradley Cooper is “dull as dishwater in bed… he talks in nonstop French because he thinks it’s a turn-on, but it’s like being in bed with Pepe Le Pew!”

    haha, I love Bradley though, with his serial killer eyes you’d expect he was more like Patrick Bateman in bed.

    Also wut, Coco cheated on Ice-T, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  8. Baskingshark says:

    What a bunch of utter crap. Everyone knows Betty White is the freakiest freak in Hollywood.

  9. anneesezz says:

    I remember reading BBT saying something like he felt like he was making love to a couch even though she was supposed to be “the sexiest woman alive” or something like that. She did say she only had three sex partners her whole life so maybe she didn’t have a lot of experience. I didn’t believe that either.

    • epiphany says:

      Yes, BBT spoke about one of his past lovers being dull in bed, but he never said it was Jolie. After their post-coital awards show interview a few years back, and the fact that she strikes terror in the hearts of co-stars’ wives, I find it hard to believe Jolie is bad in bed.

  10. LadyMTL says:

    I can’t stop laughing at the image of Ben Affleck scattering flowers around the room. I mean, maybe I’m not a romantic at heart but if my bf ever did that I’d probably burst out laughing.

    Aside from that, I am intrigued by Ryan Gosling’s “laser focus”…sounds like it would be fun, if a bit freaky?

    • megs283 says:

      I know! And um, who would pick those damn flower petals up?

      When on our honeymoon, Hubby and I came back from a “romantic” dinner. We had basically stuffed our faces and had to unbutton our pants by the time we got to the room. Riding the “bloat boat” as he puts it.

      We opened the door and were both so dismayed that someone had transformed it into a “love palace” with rose petals scattered everywhere, a bath drawn, with swans animals on the bed.

      It ended up being a good time (when else will someone sneak into my room and scatter roses?? had to take advantage), but it was pretty hilarious at first!

      • Katija says:

        The ever-wise Dan Savage suggests SEX FIRST for this very reason. LOL. It actually feels INCREDIBLY backwards, but for special occasion/anniversary dinners, it’s actually fabulous. It erases the awkwardness/stiffness that can come with those forced “designated romantic” dinners.

    • Liz says:

      Haha there is NO way Ben Affleck does that. After what he used to do with strippers you’d think he’s into getting down and dirty. :D

  11. Gracie says:

    *waiting for Brangeloonies* anyways, um, WHERE THE HELL WAS MAH BOO TOM? I couldn’t care less about any of these other people as lovers, I just want to know the dirty on the Hiddles.

    • lisa2 says:

      OH please.. the only reason this Star story is getting any play is because they mention Angelina.

      I don’t care about any of these people, and like most people you are most times as good as the partner you are with.

      BS story all around

      • Gracie says:

        Nah,I disagree, even if she wasn’t mentioned, the story would be popular. *Ahem* they mention Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum, who are both immensely popular right now and who have a lot of fangirls.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @Lisa2, who wrote: “I don’t care about any of these people, and like most people you are most times as good as the partner you are with.”

        Amen to that and right on, sista. then too, if you slept with someone you don’t have chemistry with it won’t be any better than what you can do yourself. So of course they’re going to be ‘meh.’ Then the person will go around saying the reason it wasn’t ‘good’ is because their partner was ‘bad’ in bed. :)

        I don’t believe the Ben Affleck story for a minute. I’ve never seen a man who just looks like he objectifies women more than Ben. J-lo rolled with P-Diddy right before Ben, so I’m not exactly sure ‘rose petals’ do it for her.

        Billy Bob didn’t leave Angie because she was bad in bed (I just couldn’t imagine him even ‘marrying’ anyone who was bad in bed), he left because he didn’t want another kid (or maybe just didn’t want an ‘adopted’ kid … some men are just wired that way).

      • CC says:

        Yea, but JLO did say Ben had rose petals around the bed or leading up to bedroom when he proposed to her.

      • CC says:

        Channing is popular, Ryan not so much.
        Ryan can’t open a movie, Channing can. There was an article that talk about the Canadian Ryan’s (Gossling/Reynolds) and how HW thought they would replace the aging Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Leo, and Johnny Depp and it hasn’t happened. They are not International Stars.

      • colma says:

        @cc.

        Channing and Ryan are very different actors. Channing is the BO- movies guy and Ryan is the indie-acclaimed movies guy.

        Channing Tatum is popular actor in USA but he is not an international star.
        And if you talk about BO according to the previews his last movie Side Effects is doing very poor.

        It is a stupid Star magazine article, it is not an international style magazine report.

        When was the last time Brad Pitt opened at 20 million or more? Killing Them Softly Flopped With Viewers in USA.

        ……..

        Brad Pitt or George Clooney are 50 years old actors with a lot of BO failures during their careers.

    • j.eyre says:

      Gracie – where have you been, darling? Or has it been me missing? Anyway, pop down to Cathy’s comment thread and you can make your own Hiddles report. Kay-Doo is going to gag us if she gets a hand on him on Sunday so hot it while its hot.

    • cs says:

      @colma

      I would say most people in the world has heard of Brad Pitt and not Ryan Gossling.

      The article cited their box office worth and that they were no where near the top 5 Male International stars. Brad Pitt, Leo D, Johnny Depp, Will Smith and Tom Cruise. The only actors in HW that gets a back end deal. Every actor talks about the select (5) and how they would love to be in their prestigious position.

      You need to read up on HW.. It’s always noted that the General Public doesn’t know what really goes on behind the scenes. But the Canadian Ryan’s are not it or happening. Channing is the next big thing. He now is executive producer of his films.. Are the Ryans?

      • colma says:

        @cc:

        Give me a break!!!!!!!!

        1-Brad Pitt is a 50 years old man!!!!!!!!! with a very long career.

        … and with 32, Clooney was only a tv actor.

        2-I don’t think anyone can sell a movie solely on star power anymore.

        For your information, Channing Tatum, the super popular actor, has bombed this weekend with his new movie.

        Channing is executive producer of his films and Gosling is directing his movies, and?

        3-Comparing little indie movies with limited distribution to wide release blockbusters and more mainstream actors is flawed from the start.

        He does a lot of quiet indie arty films like his new projects Only god forgives, The place beyond the pines or Terrence Malick movie.
        He is not a blockbuster actor and doesn’t really pretend to be. That being said Gangster Squad is a terrible movie.

      • lili says:

        Gosling is also a producer of some of his films as well.
        And global cultural importance is not all about BO numbers anyways. Depp was more significant before all that pirates films, before he became a BO winner.

  12. Micki says:

    Channing Tatum sounds good, I’d just skip the massage and take a strong espresso or a good cognac, depending on the hour.

  13. Cathy says:

    I’m boycotting the list seeing that my man Fassy isn’t on it. I betcha he’d be a wonderful lover.

    • j.eyre says:

      Two things:
      1) we should we now use this list to describe our Sex Style: “I used to be a Jen Aniston but now I am more Blake Lively” or “my man is totally John Mayer, unless the game is on”
      2) lets just complete the list with the folks they left out. I’ll start: “Taye Diggs is all grace and style” says ex-Superlover j. eyre. “He dances with you with a slow, methodical sensuality that is so hot you don’t know when the dancing stopped and the sex began ”

      Ok – you do Fassy’s.

      • FassDaActor says:

        I’ll do one for Fass.

        He EATS like he kisses. He tests the water to see if you’re ready. If you’re wet and puckering, he graduates to your bosoms. Loving them with slow circles using his tongue. Then he sucks. He repeats this again and again while he slips it in. You go batsht crazy on his ass.

        You’re welcome!

      • Lem says:

        2) I like 2)
        Unstoppable Olyphant gave new meaning to rode hard and put up wet. The things that boy could do with ropes and a carrot made me J.Lo waking the barn animals before I slid into a puddle of contentment and mew’d like a kitten, with only enough energy left to Taylor Swift before I Jennifer Anniston’d while he saddled up again. Rest assured by the time he finished round 2, I put on my Blake Lively and gave him the best Channing Tatum. Before we headed to the garden to try some Joshua Jaskson’s.

      • j.eyre says:

        Uber-groupie eyre can’t be silenced when it comes to her conquests. “Oh, McAvoy is a rascal in the sack. He feigns indifference to make you work harder” but just when you think he’s blowing you off, he blows you away. “There is a lot of trilling in a Scottish accent. He was the only guy I didn’t mind talking with mouth full *wink*. He would hit a few “r”s in his sentence and I would head straight for the Highlands.”

      • EscapedConvent says:

        I’d like to write one for my imaginary lover Cumby, but I’m too embarrassed.

        Miss Eyre, if you have any ideas, take it away. I have a feeling you’re better at this than I am. ~wink~

    • FassDaActor says:

      I know this man is a FREAK! Trust me. He’s too relaxed and confident (not cocky!) Just look at him kiss on the old Hex videos on YT…lots of tongue. The actresses eyes rolled back. Same with the Marianne hotel scene in Shame. All he has to do is look at you. I got something for him.

    • j.eyre says:

      Not to be outdone, EscapedConvent dished about that velveted-voiced Bon Vivant Benedict Cumberbatch. “The reason I left the nunnery? Benny. And oh did he make me forget my vows. He liked the habit to stay on – cosplay is his thing – but let me tell you, hearing my name in THAT voice as he Reichenbached my Fall from grace? Nothing like it. The game was definitely afoot.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Ha. Ha. HA! (Alan Rickman laugh)

        Thank you, Miss Eyre, I knew your vignette would be perfect.

        I was within hours of taking final vows at that sacred place when I heard Ben Vivant’s velvet voice calling to me from le couvent’s ancient courtyard. What was Cumby doing there? How did he know that I had realized if I couldn’t have him, the only thing left for me to do was get me to a nunnery? Since the windows were placed so high on the stone walls (to prevent us bitchy little nuns escaping) the other sisters formed a human ladder so I could climb up, sail out the window like a flying nun, & land gracefully (or not) on the back of Cumby’s war horse. Cumby was, for some reason, dressed like a Knight Templar. And away we went….

  14. judyjudy says:

    Can someone please explain Adam Levine’s stretching out? I don’t understand what that even means.

  15. megs283 says:

    OMG. This trashy BS is right up my alley. *Scampers away to CVS*

  16. RHONYC says:

    that pic of Jessica Simpson is just so…wrong! lmao!

    it reminds me of those in-the-wild unflattering pics Beyoncé’s tryin’ to take off the net. :lol:

    http://gawker.com/5981957/beyonces-publicist-wants-to-erase-these-six-unflattering-photos-from-the-internet

  17. florencia says:

    Billy Bob T couldn’t have said that, and if he did, he’s such a liar, remember when they would make sexual comments at red carpets?? plus all the making out? I don’t think so.

    • KAI says:

      What he said was something along the lines of “even the most beautiful woman in the world can be boring in bed” and naturally everyone assumed he was referring to Angelina. I don’t think he was because they seem to be quite fond of each other, despite the divorce.

  18. Amanda says:

    I’ll take Channing Tatim please. He sound like the best.

  19. Madpoe says:

    I’m surprised no one spilled the beans on Fassbender and/or Butler for STAR…hmm..Channing I’m not surprised, but how would they know what he does for his wife? Harry is surprising tho’. and didn’t STAR said Angie was screaming like a banshee with Brad in Africa one time, I remember it cos my eyes got stuck from rolling.

  20. Annie says:

    I love Rob but I doubt he’s amazing. Dude walks funny, he can’t run, his feet are always kind of like facing each other. When a person moves awkwardly in real life it translates in sex. I’m willing to believe he’s romantic. But an amazing lover? Idk, idk…

    I doubt Angelina is bad. Please. The woman is super sexual and aggressive. Experienced from a very young age and likes to experiment a lot, even with women. That’s always a good combo.

    All of this sounds made up. But I’d believe Jlo and Aniston.

  21. Katija says:

    I hate the idea of being “good” or “bad” in bed. That’s a buncha bologna. It isn’t some sport that you either have natural skill at or don’t. If you WANT to be good in bed, you will be. If you don’t give a crap, then it won’t be enjoyable for the person you’re with. Bottom line.

  22. GeeMoney says:

    Why is this news? Ugh.

    I must hand it to Star magazine though… they know how to churn out and keep the public interested with their crazy articles.

  23. Reece says:

    Ok I’ll play.
    Harry, Blake, Sparkles (the eye contact thing would get me every time) and Tatum (lap dances!).

    That’s my fav new-ish Harry pic btw. He just looks adorable in it.

  24. Helvetica says:

    Ah…the description of Ryan Gosling. :)
    I bet Harry is a devil in bed.
    And that description of Bradley Cooper made me laugh.
    Eventhough most of these are probably made up as heck.

  25. jess says:

    Harry makes you feel like the only woman he’s ever slept with? I’ll pass…virgins are usually awkward and clumsy in bed lol. What a horrible description!

  26. Ginger says:

    10 minutes with Colin would still be 10 minutes in heaven! And I like Blake’s style…bonus points for sexy pics! And after seeing the looks on Billy Bob’s and Angelina’s face after they admitted they’d had sex in the limo on the way to the awards…I don’t believe she’s boring for one second!

  27. KellyinSeattle says:

    Who makes these lists? It’s ridiculous. BTW, I was watching a Channing Tatum interview and he seemed dumb as a rock. Anyone think JA looks better with dark hair?

  28. Joyce says:

    I know this article is not true but how can Angelina be that bad when Aniston doesn’t want to do anything except laying there.

  29. TXCinderella says:

    I’ll take Harry anyday. He is so freakin’ hot!

  30. prez says:

    *Bradley Cooper is “dull as dishwater in bed… he talks in nonstop French because he thinks it’s a turn-on, but it’s like being in bed with Pepe Le Pew!”

    - oh my god – this CRACKED me up. pepe le pew! HAHAH!

  31. Cirque28 says:

    Wow, so Prince Harry is my sexual soulmate. Here I thought I was a little old for him, American, not an aristocrat, etc, but apparently I was wrong. ;)

    I totally buy that about RPatz too. I could see him being fiery but unselfish in bed.

  32. Lexee says:

    I need some scoop on Gavin DeGraw. I hear he’s legendary.

  33. evyn says:

    I’m still trying to get over them omitting Fassbender, but why state the obvious?
    For all those arguing about Angelina’s ranking, here is BBT take on that comment:

    http://u.dailynews.com/Stories/0,1413,210%257E23315%257E2963808,00.html

    AP: What did you mean when you recently said sleeping with a model or “the sexiest person in the world” could be like having sex with a couch? (The comment, in Esquire magazine, was widely speculated to be about Jolie.)

    Thornton: I don’t know where that came from. What I said in the article was said in all earnestness. I was saying that you can be with a beautiful person or an average person and sex has nothing to do with what they look like. That’s all I said. I didn’t mention anybody’s name in it and all of a sudden it’s like I said that about Angelina. That’s their own spin on that. I wasn’t thinking about anybody in particular.

    AP: Well, speculation appears to be a more frequent problem for Jolie.

    Thornton: When I talk to her, we talk about, “How are you? How’s Maddox? Where are you going to be next month?” … We talk about that kind of stuff and so I don’t have any idea what’s going on with her. Honestly, I never hear this stuff until I’m doing an interview. And then somebody says, “Well, what do you think about, uh, the tractor incident or something?” I’m like, “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  34. pwal says:

    Yep… cobbled together BS. Mind you, the more bitter ones i.e. BBT and Jolie, could have a grain of truth, especially if the alleged assessment happened around the time of Maddox’s adoption. BBT is very arbitrary when it comes to being a father – he was there for his kids with Pietra and his current, absent with his older kids (as evident from his lack of assistance when his daughter was jailed for killing a child she was babysitting), and obviously, his lack of interaction with Maddox.

    One of the sexiest things a man can do is be a loving, attentive father, no matter if the child is bio, adopted, or a step. BBT doesn’t have a good record in that respect, and I suspect that the panties stayed on when it became evident that BBT wasn’t interested in being a present, loving father to Maddox.

  35. Janet says:

    If John Mayer is so sensational in bed, I wonder if he was able to get Aniston to do more than just “lay there”?