Lindsay Lohan refused to leave Brazil, insists on posing for cracked-out bikini pics

GO HERE to see Lindsay’s latest photo shoot. Just go to the link, you’ll thank me. Lindsay Lohan is still in Brazil, and I guess she needed some extra cash for mysterious reasons (*sniff*), so she arranged for a photo agency to do a bikini photo shoot on some Brazilian beach. We don’t have access to the photos, which isn’t that terrible considering Lindsay looks cracked-out, bruised, strung-out, jaundiced and really gross. I wonder how much the photo agency paid her? An easy $20,000 maybe?

You might be asking yourself, “Why is Lindsay still in Brazil?” The Answer: because she’s the Cracken! Her “promotional gig” is over, she got paid to party and go clubbing or whatever, and now she’s just staying in Brazil because she doesn’t want to go back home.

Lindsay Lohan is extending her Brazilian vacation. The troubled 26-year-old star, who’s been in South America since Thursday for a promotional gig with John John Denim, isn’t returning home to the U.S. just yet, a source confirms to E! News.

We’re told that Lohan made her way to the São Paulo airport tonight only to decline to get on the plane back to New York City.

“She’s staying on her own dime,” a source says of LiLo, who tried to get someone else to foot the bill for her extended stay in Brazil.

Lindsay has since left the airport with her friend Patty and checked into the Emiliano Hotel. Her manager left the country without her.

“She is staying against everyone’s advice,” a source says.

LiLo was scheduled to leave Brazil today for New York before heading back to L.A. for this month’s Coachella music festival. But as we told you exclusively earlier today, the Liz & Dick star wanted to stay longer to hang out and have “fun.”

Lohan has had a whirlwind few days partying (and working) in São Paulo and Florianópolis. Her festivities have included hiding under tables, deejaying at John John’s bash at the Café de lá Musique nightclub and dodging pesky photographers.

[From E! News]

Can Lindsay be extradited from Brazil? I think she probably could be, but she wouldn’t be for the smaller crimes she’s accused of. So, in theory, she could just stay in Brazil for the rest of her cracked-out life and not have to deal with the “rehab” or the jail or the probation or whatever. But if she doesn’t come back to do her time (eyeroll), a bench warrant will probably be issued and if she ever steps foot on American soil again, she’ll be arrested. But right now… she still has time. She doesn’t have to turn herself in for another month and a half I think. She’ll probably come back for Coachella.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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168 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan refused to leave Brazil, insists on posing for cracked-out bikini pics”

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  1. Lizzie K says:

    I have absolutely NO objection to Lindsay staying in Brazil.

  2. aims says:

    What’s with the bruises on the legs?

  3. Nicolette says:

    Why oh why did I go to the link showing the photos? Don’t know what’s worse, the bruises all over her legs (notice how red her knees are, guess she spends a lot of time on them) her flat as a pancake ass, or her deflated and sagging boobs. And I’m sorry, curvy is not a word I would use to describe that mess.

    She wants to stay in Brazil? Well since this brat seems to get everything she wants, let her. Good bye and good riddance.

  4. dina says:

    Her body…what the fuck….

  5. HotPockets says:

    La Lohan has the strangest butt. It is so small and yet, so saggy at the same time. I can’t remember the last time I ever thought she looked cute or at best, ok.

  6. Mia 4S says:

    Those bruises are insane! Yes it’s true that redheads and others who are fair often bruise easier, I’m one of them. However…something still has to cause the bruises! We don’t bruise from thin air! That’s either falling down all over the place drunk/high…or something else I would rather not think about.

  7. Palermo says:

    Wow, she has the body of an old woman, no tone. Clearly the only working out she does is lifting the bottle/ciggie/crack pipe

  8. pepi says:

    Enjoy Brasil sweetheart!, love that country!

  9. Gabriella says:

    MY GOD, that bitch is going to spread her crackherpes here!!! I say this in the name of my fellow brazilians; just take your goddamn paycheck and go away!

    EDIT: I read on Daily Mail she already took a plane back home. I feel more relaxed now.

  10. Dorothy says:

    Hope she stays there permanently!

  11. Meggie says:

    She and MeAnn should get together for a bad brain/weird body photoshoot. Imagine the horror.

  12. logan says:

    She does these things to stay in the news. I my self would like to see her permanent residence in one of the really hot, sandy burka wearing countries.

  13. teehee says:

    Somebody, anybody, just take her to the side and slap her repeatedly until the police come to haul her stupid ass away.

  14. HoneyB says:

    Wow, that gut! Look at how it dunlops over her shorts as she’s bent over! Is it possible evey part of her body is sagging? How can she look at these pics of herself and Not RUN to rehab? Looking at them make me want to take a shower, run to the gym and start a juice fast.

  15. TheOriginalKitten says:

    The extensions…what will it take for this girl to recognize that long, ratty hair < short, healthy hair.

    She looks like someone who has never worked out a day in her life. She might be thin but she looks very unhealthy.

  16. Shelly says:

    That is the ugliest bikini – the top part is hideous.

  17. littlestar says:

    The link won’t work for me :( . I’m sad.

  18. lady mary. says:

    more than bruises ,they look like some skin condition to me

  19. AB says:

    I noticed in those pics of her in her bikini it seems like her belly button is too far up… its like in the middle of her tummy, not the bottom of it where most people have a belly button

  20. MonicaQ says:

    Ok, I’m not one to pick on people’s bodies but how does your butt do that? I mean…

    It *has* to be there. It has a use and it just…


  21. MyLeNe - Montreal says:

    in the second picture she have the nose full of white shit !

  22. realitycheck says:

    she is getting paid for partying and drugging and constantly evading the law!

    my god, she is a VERY clever hot mess..

  23. Melissa says:

    So is she preggo or what?

  24. OrangeOprah says:

    What was the powdery white looking substance on the bikini top? Geez, she really looks bad.

  25. G says:

    “Cuz the rock man got ‘em and their butts just dropped”. – Sir Mix -a- Lot!

  26. Lila says:

    Tchau, Crackie. Desculpe, Brasil!

  27. Madpoe says:

    Is there no exp. date on crack(ie)?

  28. Cathy says:

    The Daily Mail obviously doesn’t know the definition of the word curvy. Her figure is definately not curvy. Ewwwwwww is the only proper term I can come up for her and her figure.

  29. maggiegrace says:

    also she has a strange divet on her abdomen right at her bikini line. Liposuction canula scar?

    • Nemesis says:

      Yeah I noticed that too! I posted something way down on the comment thread. It also looks like her belly button is too high on her stomach as well. Like she had a tummy tuck or something. Is there an illegitimate crack baby out there somewhere that she’s hidden from the world?

  30. hopperlea says:

    WTF happened to her? Lohan used to be so pretty. She has the body of a 50 year old drugged-out hooker.

  31. Kelly says:

    Bruised fruit. Yuck.

    I’m 50 and I think I may look better than that. Lord, I hope so.

  32. HH says:

    I would stay in Brazil too. Her money will go further and she doesn’t have to deal with Michael or Dina. That’s enough to make anyone run.

  33. Ruyana says:

    She is shaped just like Dina. Not a good thing. I have seen elderly women in FL whose bodies look like hers. They have a reason…age.

    And the sad thing is, because she has big boobs (no matter how droopy they really are), and ratty hair to her waist, she still genuinely thinks she’s a hottie.

    She has really destroyed her looks, her reputation and her career. She seems bound and determined to flame out and she turns her back on every chance to redeem herself and any helping hand (unless it holds a big stack of money).

  34. KellyinSeattle says:

    Where are her siblings….maybe she’s just in Brazil to shine the light/share her “gift” with more of the world (barf)..Gag me with a spoon (I miss the 80s :)

  35. Mr.Smurf says:

    I probably have a good thirty pounds on her, and I know you’d all want to see me in a bikini more than her. At least I look like I eat and drink more than Vodka and Coke.

    And her butt makes me feel a lot better about mine. How in the world is it that small and flat, but so saggy? It’s like having small boobs, they should be eternally perky.

    Wtf has she been doing to herself. You’d hope that she’d be enough of a narcissist to keep herself looking good…she was so beautiful a six years ago.

    • JL says:

      I’d rather see Mama June in a bikini than her, Richard Simmons in a speedo and Mr. Smurf you too.
      The body is horrible, knowing her age and how she got it…… to tragic for words.

      Don’t mistake that for sympathy, she wanted it she got just what she asked for.

  36. Loira says:

    Poor Brazil. My aunt lives near Sao Paulo, I hope she is safe!
    I do think LiLo had a teardrop boob job in the past because those droopy boobs look suspicious, and she had them even when she was extremely thin and bony= implants.
    Her butt looks like Paris Hilton’s when she was flashing everybody at clubs and stores years ago, flat and saggy.
    She does not have good skin, her face, her bruises, the sagging, the beer tummy. There is so much the body can take.
    Pathetic. And she used to look fresh and pretty.

  37. skuddles says:

    “She’s staying on her own dime”…. LOL, yeah right! No doubt she’s connived/blown/bartered her way into a free stay from some sucker. Not to mention, Lindsay doesn’t have two dimes to rub together. Anything she earns belongs to the IRS and whoever else is suing her at the moment.

    Sounds like she went to the airport but had a hissy fit and bailed on the flight last minute – against everyone’s advice. This should be very entertaining :D

  38. serena says:

    Oh my god, beer-tummy and what is going on with her ass? It’s creepily small, too small, compared to her first half.. her figure is terrible, and I’m not even talking about her skin.

  39. murphy says:

    Yeah I asked my husband yesterday if Brazil extradites to the US. He said yes, but I figure neither the states of CA or NY will bother. The only one who would go get her is her dealer.
    But the Coachella thing is a good point.

  40. Samigirl says:

    As far as I’m concerned, keep her! She can’t drive there can she? The Brazilian citizens are safe, and we are as well!

  41. derpy says:

    Well i got my number #1 for 2013 deathpool

  42. JL says:

    The body, the bruises, the booze.
    This children is why you never do drugs.

    Of course if you do enough drugs you will think you are FINE looking like that just like Linds.

    Those bruises look like someone grabbed her legs and pounded her on hard.

    What a sad waste of a person.

  43. janie says:

    She’ll be back.. She’s another one that loves the spotlite. I have to say she looked peaceful on the beach? No phone, not smoking, just very calm. She hasn’t been seen like this in a long time. I hope she turns things around.

  44. K-rock says:

    Oh my gawd! Those pics are hideous! Her ass is way too saggy for her age, she wasn’t even trying to hide her fat rolls, and the bruises, well what can I say other than WTF??? She’s clearly delusional and on the road to self destruction.

  45. Belle Epoch says:

    Can someone please explain her hair to me? Seriously, I don’t get it. She looks bald. Her forehead has grown, and then all of a sudden there’s three feet of hair. Do they glue extensions underneath? Is she bald?

  46. Mich says:

    How funny are those DM captions?!?

    “Got the giggles? The Mean Girls actress couldn’t hide a fit of laughter, despite the fact that she was by herself.”

    “Fixing her hair: At one point Lindsay played with her red mane, scraping it back into a ponytail.”

    “Life’s a beach: Lindsay seemed reflective at one point, perhaps looking back on the last few weeks.”

    “Lounging: The actress moved around on her towel as she spent her last day in Brazil chilling out.”

    “All by herself: The star stretched out on the sand, putting her hands on her head at one point.”

    “Posing: The star, who will soon be heading to rehab, struck a series of poses as she spent the day on her own.”

    “More make-up: At one point the actress sat up to apply more lipgloss to her already heavily made-up face.”

    “Halle Berry moment? Lindsay slowly emerged from the sea, looking like she was trying to recreate the Oscar winner’s James Bond scene.”

  47. d says:

    If those pics are the photoshoot, it’s laughable. Truly laughable. And what an unhealthy, malnourished body. The clear delusion there is … I mean, you can only shake your head.

  48. dcypher1 says:

    Stay in brazil lindsay for the love of god make it ur new home. America dosent want u stay there they can have her. Its better this way cus everyone in brazil can hold there own against the cracken. Brazil will eat her alive if messes up there.

  49. M says:

    She’s advertising her services.

  50. Norman says:

    With all the trouble that shes in and all the mounting legal issues she has at home, she personally has every incentive to stay in Brazil. Everyone knows Lindsay has no intention of going to rehab, it was just a plea bargain to avoid going to the slammer . Lets see how long she decides to “extend” her stay in Brazil, is she going to transfer her residency and if so is she going to be a fugitive?

  51. Ruth says:

    Thing is im usually one for sticking up for peoples bodies. All things considered (drugs drink not exercising or looking after herself whatsoever) she doesnt look that bad. And saying how she looks makes you want to go on a juice fast? Rly? shes skinny and sick, not fat..

  52. Quinn Parker says:

    Fading/uneven spray tan…check
    Unwashed, poorly done extensions..check
    Scary bruises…check
    Stomach gut that mimics second trimester..check
    Flabby, untoned limbs…check
    Delusional brain that still think it’s 2005…CHECK!!!

  53. Nemesis says:

    Is it just me, or does her belly button look too high on her stomach? Like it’s closer to her boobs than her crotch. And did that look like a scar at the top of her bikini bottoms? Like maybe she got pregnant at one time and had a tummy tuck? Or am I just imagining things?

  54. Debbie says:

    One of the captions of Lindsay looking particularly bloated is: “The tanned star seemed to be having a whale of a time on her own…”.

    Mean. But I still snerked.

  55. vixo says:

    Lindsay, pls go back home ! We don’t need you here :) Actually, I read on the newspaper today her manager or whatever is offering her services as a dj for twenty thousand US dollars a night.

  56. Ruby Red Lips says:

    What is with her face in that 4th photo, fresh lips and chheks – she really does look like a blow up doll now!

    Such a shame as she once had incredible natural beauty, now evrything has been destroyed then ‘replaced’ with bad and obvious plastic surgery

  57. Madriani's Girl says:

    I guess no one bothered to mention her that the alcohol-bloated abdomen and the skanky bruises are not hot. Nor are the obviously saggy breasts in that supportless top.

  58. nikzilla says:

    They call that a photoshoot? She is so out of shape!

  59. Hakura says:

    Her ass almost looks like when someone has had ‘implants’ put in to make it larger/more perky, then has them removed. The skin will have had to stretch to accommodate the implant, & without the implant, is just loose skin.

  60. Rux says:

    Please keep her there….On a side note, countries that do not have extradition treaty with the US sadly, Brazil is not one of them….The United States maintains diplomatic relations, but does not have extradition treaties with the following countries: Afghanistan, Algeria, Andorra, Angola, Armenia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brunei, Burkina Faso, Burma, Burundi, Cambodia, Cameroon, Cape Verde, the Central African Republic, Chad, China, Comoros, Congo (Kinshasa), Congo (Brazzaville), Djibouti, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gabon, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Indonesia, Ivory Coast, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Kuwait, Laos, Lebanon, Libya, Macedonia, Madagascar, Maldives, Mali, Marshall Islands, Mauritania, Micronesia, Moldova, Mongolia, Montenegro, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Nepal, Niger, Oman, Qatar, Russia, Rwanda, Samoa, São Tomé & Príncipe, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Togo, Tunisia, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Vanuatu, Vatican, Vietnam and Yemen.[citation needed]
    The United States is currently negotiating an extradition treaty with Taiwan. (Source: Wikipedia)

  61. Leek says:

    That was great. Thank you! I clicked on and my nine year old son peeked over and said, “Those are some ugly legs.”

  62. Hayley says:

    What has she done to her face? It’s bordering on scary. Soon, people will be wearing Lohan masks on Halloween, and not for the right reasons. They’ll actually be trying to scare the crap out of someone.

  63. DanaG says:

    What happens if she breaks the law in Brazil? She seems to find it hard to keep out of trouble she may not find things so lenient there. Paying with her own money LOL Yeah right no one believes that probably will skip the country and leave it unpaid and will say she thought someone else was paying like she usually does. As for the pictures who would pay for those? The bruises and that awful bikini. Gross.

  64. AnnieCS says:

    Ok, I will say it; When people drink in excess all the time, do drugs, don’t take care of yourself, not sleep (due to being high) and behave as she does, the body starts to show externally how unhealthy it is. Bruising like that is what you see when someones liver is being affected by all the drinking. She can say whatever she wants but she won’t live to be the age she looks at this rate. Her skin is even yellow looking. I am a ginger and that is not the coloring that can be chalked up to that. She needs help.

  65. Asdfg says:

    *Looks at pics again*….No words… Omg.. She is gross……

  66. davidsask says:

    The blowing kiss photo looks like she has cocaine residue in nostrils!!

  67. apsutter says:

    Am I high(like the cracken) or does her face actually look a bit better in these pics?

  68. Asdfg says:

    My liver and kidneys sent me a message: I hurt~!~

  69. Jess says:

    She actually looks pretty good in a bikini all things considered. She never had an amazing body and apart from a bit of booze bloat and the bruises she looks about the same as she did years and years ago. Clearly her face has borne the brunt of her lifestyle.

  70. Michelle says:

    Gross! She looks like she has never worked out a day in her life. Flabby, flabby, flabby. I don’t need extra motivation to work out, but if I needed it, this would be it.

  71. Miss M says:

    what’s the duration of her Visa? Americans need visa to go to Brazil.

  72. Lucy says:

    I would like to know why does she think it’s cute to make that face, you know, when she’s blowing a kiss. Every time she does that I’m like, UGH.

  73. Ms.Martin says:

    It’s really quite sad because I think she’s actually a good actress and very pretty…. I’m afraid we will be reading about finding her dead in some seedy hotel someday …..

  74. skeptical says:

    I say hysterectomy scar. It looks like my Mom’s scar. When could blohan have carried a pregnancy to the point of needing a tummy tuck?

    • Nemesis says:

      I was just speculating because how did her belly button get so high up on her torso?

      I just remembered too, that cdan had a blind a week or two ago about an actress that hid a pregnancy and a cousin is raising it. This also could have happened way back when before she became such a joke. Like right after Mean Girls. It seems like it was after than she went all cray cray.