Gwyneth Paltrow’s detox diet – like the cabbage soup diet but fancy

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Gwyneth Paltrow has sent out yet another hysterically ridiculous GOOP email. In this month’s edition, Gwyneth lectures us on the proper way to detox. Keep in mind this is the same woman who was admitted to the hospital last January after doing a fast. She never commented on the episode, but clearly it hasn’t taught her to be safer with her health. Gwyneth sent out directions for what looks to be a very uncomfortable detox. It’s certainly not Master Cleanse severe, but it doesn’t strike me as anything I’d want to do.

Here are two example menus:

DAY FIVE

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Peach and Almond Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Raw crudite (carrots, green beans, radishes, cucumbers, zucchini) with Carrot and Ginger Dressing
4pm (snack): Beet, Carrot, Apple and Ginger Juice
6pm (dinner): Cucumber and Avocado Soup

DAY SEVEN

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Raspberry and Rice Milk Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Miso Soup with Vegetables
4pm (snack): A handful of almonds
6pm (dinner): Steamed fish, quinoa, roasted squash

[From Goop]

I suppose you could argue that because this is a detox and not a long-term diet plan, this isn’t that severe. Gwyneth includes a week of recipes, and I doubt you could do that much harm if you only did it for seven days – but no longer. But anytime you deprive your body of needed calories – say less than 1,200 a day – you have the potential to mess up your metabolism in the long run. In college I did plenty of stupid diets (hello cabbage soup!) and did one for an entire summer that was under 500 calories a day. Needless to say, I didn’t lose more than three pounds and was a raving bitch the entire time. That really taught me a good lesson: bodies like food. Give it to them, in reasonable, healthy proportions.

If Gwyneth were recommending this as a healthy diet to follow all the time, it could be dangerous. She makes some really stupid remarks about how she’s carrying holiday weight that just make me want to kick her as hard as I can. The woman is a rail, and I have never seen her look like she’s put on even five pounds. There is not a curve on her body. I’m not saying that’s good or bad, but the idea that we’re supposed to believe she’s put on holiday weight is annoying. That must mean 1.5 pounds to her. I find her emails – and her whole GOOP website – incredibly annoying. Gwyneth is not a nutritionist, and she seems to like experimenting with her health. That’s fine for her, but recommending it to anyone else seems dangerous.

At the end of her email, Paltrow gives us a little teaser for next time, noting, “Next week my fitness guru, Tracy Anderson, gives us an exclusive video to get our butt in shape for the new year!” This is the same woman who recommended a less than 800 calorie diet to Us Weekly, along with two hours of exercise a day. Apparently Gwyneth’s resolution for the new year is to make sure all her fans get sick.

Here’s Gwyneth leaving Madonna’s house party in London on December 23rd. Images thanks to WENN.

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46 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow’s detox diet – like the cabbage soup diet but fancy”

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  1. RReedy says:

    I read the Goop detox info and was underwhelmed. To be fair, when she posts recipes, they look pretty tasty but doubt I will be whipping up any of this stuff anytime soon.

  2. Baholicious says:

    What, no accent aigu on crudit-ay Gwyneth?! You don’t need a French keyboard eh, it’s in “insert symbol.” Where you find Wingdings…q’uel surprise.

    She’s such a poser.

  3. drm says:

    Hey Ms Jaybird I like you cannot stand GP, and I won’t look at her website anymore because I get so angry my blood pressure goes up.

    LOok either Ms P is an idiot or has really bad legal advisors or both. I suspect both with a large chunk of arrogance thrown in. Someone is going to try her ‘cleanse’, have a nice adverse reaction (real or imagined) and attempt to sue her behind.

    Couldn’t happen to a more deserving person…

  4. Christina Bledsoe says:

    That woman needs to eat more food, not be trying to figure out how to lose it.

  5. Baholicious says:

    Yeah DRM, a chunk of arrogance about the size of that piece of glacier that broke off the South Pole…

  6. Ally says:

    Frankly, this is a “lose weight through diarrhea” diet plan.

    Going for a run is better than the runs, IMO.

  7. manda says:

    @ ally—hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Too funny. That was the cabbage soup diet, too. But I lost 8 pounds on that one summer in college.

  8. Livia says:

    I keep hoping that someday she’ll become so weak from lack of protein that she’ll no longer be able to speak. Sadly, this hasn’t yet happened. Well, I can dream…

  9. Baholicious says:

    @Livia: Well, the brain damage from lack of nutrition has apparently set in.

  10. raven says:

    When she was younger she was a real stick and completely flat chested. Find a photo of her at the Oscars in that pink dress and you can see it. She definitely gained weight after her children were born and appears to have stuck with that weight, which puts her on the thin side of normal, rather than scary skinny. She probably doesn’t want to get any heavier, but I doubt she has anything to worry about.

  11. Bob says:

    She left off one item from her list: “massive amounts of cocaine – throughout the day as needed”

    From what I hear, that’s the real secret of how she has always stayed so thin.

  12. Lauri says:

    I have never understood why she is popular. She is just not a good actress…she just isn’t. I’ve seen several of her movies and I just don’t see what other people apparently see. She has no discerable acting talent (I still don’t get why she was given an oscar. She didn’t deserve it at all). She is average looking. From interviews I’ve seen and read I don’t see that she is particularly gifted intellectually. Her website certainly doesn’t help her to look intelligent.

    Can anyone tell me why she is considered so wonderful? Or am I just blind to it?

  13. Jinxy says:

    It’s not a bad cleanse but it’s also not a weight loss method either, it’s for detoxing after a lot treats for the holidays. Sugar, alcohol, snacks etc.

    There are lots of ways to lose weight sensibly this is just a meatless, fruit juice, vegetable way of giving your body a high fiber, low fat diet.

    If you need to lose weight in a healthy manner try Sparkpeople.com, it’s free and works if you need to lose 5lbs or 500. It creates menus, shopping lists and provides oodles of support for those less disciplined, and it works.

  14. kate says:

    shut up, gwyneth.

  15. chick says:

    i don’t get why her skin looks so old given how healthy her diet is supposed to be.

  16. AC says:

    She looks terrible and has aged really fast recently.

    This “diet” has not done her looks any good at all.

    She’s starting to look as old as her 50-year-old friend Madonna!

  17. CB Rawks says:

    Why does stuff have to be “room temperature”? Bleeurgh! I’m not drinking that disgusting lemon pee unless I can chill it.

  18. jay walk says:

    call her obsessed is an understatment, all these years, she hasn’t changed. One can have chips, alcohole, animal fat, cigaretts and still live to be a healthy 80 year old, just how much older can people get. Detox, organic food, vegetables are all sooo gross. I don’t have time to make shakes and take snacks.

  19. boomchakaboom says:

    She’s so freakin’ boring. God. Even her “diet” is boring as hell. Room temp. lemon water? Give me a break. Just eat and move your body around instead of focusing every nanosecond on the protuberance of various bones to satisfy your very unhealthy obsession with how thin you are. Ah, never mind. Please continue to waste away. The sooner the better,

  20. debra77 says:

    I don’t understand this at all. Is she nutritionist or an actress. For someone who won and Oscar (should have gone to Cate Blanchett) she is not acting. Sure she was in Iron-man, but she was not the star. What is she doing? Why is she talking so much about food and diets? Has she given up acting and I did not hear about it? And why does no one ever comment on the fact that she is NEVER with her husband? When they first got married she traveled everywhere he went. Even took Apple. Now I have not seen them together in almost a year. She needs to leave the health stuff to the pros and go and tend to her marriage and career.. Both of which seem to be going down the drain.

  21. vdantev says:

    When do I add the 6 cups of pretentiousness? Before or after the ego?

  22. pixiegirl says:

    Does she not have a functioning liver?

    Detox = Stupid
    Detox + Gwynth = skinny asshat.

  23. So Gwenie’s a vegetarian now? What was with the all turkey computations she emailed out around Thanksgiving? Do you get a “free pass” on the holidays because you restrict yourself from animal protein all year? Did I miss a memo of some sort?

    F*cking poseur.

  24. Codzilla says:

    chick: I was thinking the same thing. She looks awful.

  25. enchantress says:

    This measly amount of “food” wouldn’t get me through 2 hours of MY day, thank you very much Ms. Fishsticks! (But perhaps if all one has to do is loll around all day and let the nanny/servants/cooks do all the work?)
    This is no way to enjoy life, with a starvation diet as stringent as this. BLEH!

  26. Sunnyjyl says:

    Day 7 example looks like a regular day at our house with the addition of eggs or oatmeal for breakfast. It is very healthy.

  27. busybee says:

    I read the whole post on GOOP, and it sounds like something I would do. After I finish training for my race… 🙂

    That juice looks really good.

  28. Granger says:

    I’m not defending her, because I can’t stand this pretentious know-it-all, but she really is just promoting the idea of cleansing your body after a holiday season spent boozing and gorging, NOT a starvation diet. Cleanses like this aren’t for everyone, though. Having said that, I agree with debra77 — when did Gwyneth give up acting to become a nutritionist and life coach? More importantly, when will it stop???

    I remember reading an interview with Gwyneth a few years ago when she was on that whole Raw Foods kick, and she justified her crazy diet regime by saying, in essence, that she lives an “extreme” lifestyle, works in an “extreme” profession, and therefore needs to counter with “extreme” restrictions on her mind and body to keep herself sane. Yes, she used the word extreme. A self-absorbed actress with shitloads of money and people jumping whenever she snaps her fingers thinks her lifestyle is EXTREME???

    Stupid cow.

  29. MissJuicy says:

    Where is the complete detox plan posted anyway? I can’t seem to find it on her site. If anyone has it, please let me know, I’d just like to see what all the hubbub is about in it’s entirety. Thanx!

  30. ms says:

    wow, you all sound like really crazy, ignorant and insecure people. if you actually read the entire menu and what she says about it, you would know that this isn’t something she just made up. It’s all recommended (and most likely created) by Dr. Alejandro Junger, who specializes in holistic techniques and detoxification of the body and mind. This menu isn’t for all those calorie counters out there or for those who have a sick obsession with looking like the cover girl on a magazine — this menu was created for those who just want to cleanse their bodies after an indulgent holiday. What is SO wrong about that? And yes, the recipes are quite GOOD actually.

  31. Sickitten says:

    Some will do anything to link to this page and get hits. Cringe!!

  32. Pangi says:

    uhh…no. Her trainer requests 4-6 exercise sessions per week: 1 hour of a pilates-light routine and 30 minutes of cardio. This is hardly a crazy 2-hour exhaustion session. And she does not suggest any “diet” other than the one she was quoted on in the People article, and that was a detox as well. Her suggestion for diets are basically to watch the dairy.

    And guess what, her suggestions work like magic.

  33. vkuttima says:

    The Lemonade Diet is the portion of the Master Cleanse where you drink only the Lemonade made from Lemon, Maple Syrup, Cayenne Pepper and Water. It is great for detox and weight loss and has a large following of people who have tried it with great success.

    I remember reading an interview with Gwyneth a few years ago when she was on that whole Raw Foods kick, and she justified her crazy diet regime by saying, in essence, that she lives an “extreme” lifestyle, works in an “extreme” profession, and therefore needs to counter with “extreme” restrictions on her mind and body to keep herself sane. Yes, she used the word extreme. A self-absorbed actress with shitloads of money and people jumping whenever she snaps her fingers thinks her lifestyle is EXTREME???

  34. Diet2know says:

    An 800/day calorie diet with exercise is just plain crazy. I wonder how long the body could survive on that. Celebrities=nuts

  35. These diets don’t have enough carbs or protein, which is most likely why she passed out.

    Doing detox diets the wrong way can be dangerous and cause anemia, low blood sugar, and moderate to extreme weakness.

    Make sure you do your studying people!

  36. dieta says:

    Gwyneth Paltrow is OK I don’t get this…

  37. There a lot to learn. I think you made some great points.

  38. yes, you need to do detox time to time but
    I agree with comment-35 that doing detox diets the wrong way can be dangerous and cause a lot of problems.
    it’s important to make sure to do it “right way” !

  39. Sekmet says:

    test comment

  40. Diet says:

    “Think before you leap”,thats the only thing i can say…

  41. nico says:

    Why are people so mad at this? Its a very healthy cleanse and is only 7 days long. This is why Americans are so gross. If you eat junk you dont have the right to put down people that take care of their body. If your BMI puts you in the overweight category you shouldnt even have the right to comment on this IMO.

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  43. jerry says:

    say what you will, what a smile – so beautiful it hurts!

  44. J. krausewitz says:

    I have little to say about her detox diet. However, to comment on her entire attrociously ridiculous web site GOOP (she probably thought that was a catchy name like google or ipod), among her many web features there should be a section called CAKE – as in “let them eat it”. What an unwitting primadonna!! In reading the “or upon rising” at the 7am part of the detox diet, I nearly choked. Does the flag fly over the London manor when she’s at home like it does the Queen? I wonder if she speaks to herself in a fake British accident while she is typing the tripe on her keyboard for her blog. The problem with her sort is, they were spoiled as children by guilty rich parents, they marry the first rock star that will have them so they can join the club, and then their mania reaches its apex and the rest of us have to hear about it. Let’s just hope she doesn’t adopt any one else’s children as a trendy project only to ruin them.

  45. Mike says:

    All these celebrities how this unparalleled degree of arrogance that makes them think they are invincible. When I read her detox plan was shocked at how naive someone must be to believe that its healthy.

  46. CC says:

    What’s not healthy about that detox plan, which, btw, was conceived by a doctor, not an actress?? And, I’m sorry, the cabbage soup diet? This detox couldn’t be farther from that. You know how I know you’re fat? You think a diet is impossible that contains oatmeal, rice, quinoa, fruit, avocado, vegetables, chicken, fish and nuts. Gasp! Go get your chips and oreos and Big Macs and egg rolls and keep watching Two and Half Men on your couch.