I have an assortment of Gwyneth Paltrow news for you today, and all of it is super-special and goopy, of course. First, some assorted Met Gala stuff. Gwyneth only deigned to attend the Met Gala because her BFF Beyonce was co-chair of the gala, and even then, Gwyneth refused to participate in the charade (Goop pronounces it “sha-rawd”) of a “punk” theme and she just went with a pink princess gown instead. But it seems that the Met Gala was not even good enough for Dame Goop:
Not even A-listers have the best time at the Costume Institute ball. Just ask Gwyneth Paltrow, who attended Monday’s star-studded gala in Valentino. Her pal Beyoncé was the honorary co-chair and wore Givenchy.
“I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all,” says Paltrow.
And Paltrow’s husband, Chris Martin, was also there, but the two did not walk the carpet together because they try to keep their relationship as “private” as possible, Paltrow explained.
Poor Goop! What a horrible turn of events. It was THE WORST! She deserves some kind of medal for courageously braving this epic tragedy. As for Gwyneth’s current taste level… well, Entertainment Weekly asked Gwyneth to choose her “best dressed” of the Met Gala and she chose… Miranda Kerr? The hell? Goop said: “She was wearing a black Michael Kors dress that was sort of like a sparkling bandeau, and her whole stomach was showing. It was really beautiful. It was a little punk-y. She’s just so pretty, it’s abnormal. I was like, ‘Is it weird to be that pretty?’ And she was like, ‘No.’” Seriously, Gwyneth? Miranda was the best dressed? And she thinks Miranda is abnormally pretty? I don’t get it.
And lastly, we have this wonderful story about Gwyneth trying to keep the peasant hordes away from her Brentwood estate:
Gwyneth Paltrow looks down at her neighbors … from a gate that’s illegally high … so says a pissed-off homeowner who’s filed a complaint over her above-it-all entrance.
TMZ has learned … one of Gwyneth’s Brentwood neighbors claims she and hubby Chris Martin built a 9-foot-tall gate in front of their mansion — WAY ABOVE the legal limit of 6 feet — and it’s an eyesore.
The angry neighbor says no other residents — including fellow celebs Harrison Ford, Oliver Stone, and Courtney Thorne-Smith — have gates over 6 feet tall, so why should Gwyneth?
The L.A. City Department of Building and Safety confirmed that it’s investigating, and Gwyneth will have 45 days to fix any violations … or face more than $900 in fines.
About the cost of a shirt on GOOP.
Yeah, my guess is that Gwyneth is just going to eat the $900 fine and keep her enormous gate. THE PEASANTS ARE COMING!! And they have ladders! Here’s a question: how many properties does Gwyneth have at this point? There’s her London home, a NYC loft (I think?), this Brentwood mansion and I think she has an orchard or something in the Hamptons too. WTF?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
“Un-fun”? Trying *so* hard to make yourself not ir-relevant?
OH MY GOD.
No, it’s even better than that. I love her openly bitchy heart SO much. That Miranda quote was so much random, until I remembered!!!!!!
Think, people! Who did Miranda’s husband, Orlando Bloom, date for YEARS?!
Yes! Throwing shade at the Bos for sure.
Hahaha! Good call!
Er, please explain for mere gossip mortals! 🙂
Kate Bosworth
Definately.
Awesome observation! Chris Martin has the most boring taste in women, but then, he is such a boob. I hated his tux and flowing locks for the Met Gala. I bet he was thinking, “you know I am punk most every day of the year, so I will go black tie to this event.” He is about as punk as Justin Timberlake.
It’s amazingly bitchy reasons like this that keep me reading Goop’s ridiculous word vomit.
@gogoGorilla, there’s been a rumor circulating for quite some time now, that Chris Martin cheated on Goop with Kate Bosworth.
Nicely spotted!
@gogoGorilla: Chris Martin is rumored to have cheated on Goopy with Kate Bosworth, who dated Orlando Bloom before he was married to Miranda Kerr. So Goopy’s trying to tell Bosworth that Kerr is an upgrade?
Laughing my non-goopy arse off – she is so snarky!!!!
hahaha! I love her a little more for that shade 🙂
Yes, rumors ranging from: he cheated, to Kate Bosworth tried really hard to start something with him, and/or tried to act publicly like they had been together.
Miranda is dealing with her own professional and personal gossip rumors right now- not good for an aging model. For Goop (A list) to even acknowledge her is strange, and going to make people wonder why. It’s Goop’s subversive way of confirming that Bosthworth is guilty of something and even a nearly has-been model is better.
Got to love her bitchiness! Haha I can’t help it, I just think she’s awsome. Miranda Kerr and Kate Bosworth, two of the most bland, boring women out there. Of course goop will trash them and stick it to them! And what makes it even better is that Miranda just got fired from her Victorias angels gig…Go get’em tiger! Men just don’t get this stuff, bless them, lol.
WTF. That’s so rude to bash an event you were invited to. She’s so odd these days. Why would she think it’s a good idea to say half of what comes out of her mouth?
You shouldn’t believe her. Don’t know why she’s so stupid to bash the MET Gala, but she will be there again, that’s for sure. Just like she told us years ago that brazilian waxing changed her life and now claims that she’s a 70s-girl. Guess nobody told her that the internet is permanent.
Very rude. She might as well slap Bey’s face. Wtf was she thinking?
yes!
I was just going to come post the exact same thing and saw your comment – it’s so incredibly rude! Even if you didn’t think the party was fun, at least have the decency and courtesy to keep your mouth shut and not say it was boring!
Gwyneth Paltrow is just plain IGNORANT.
I think that this has something to do with the fact that her nemesis Madonna was there..Sitting next to Beyonce and sucking all the spotlight with her punk look and celebrity status.
…and then she stomped her foot and ran away.
…like the tight ninny bitch she is! LOL
*banging head against the wall*
Honey, you have got to start using a pillow with this one or you are going to do some long-term damage. I think “Gwyneth” means “head-slap” in some esoteric language I am too common to know.
Haha! I don’t have pillows in my mud hut. I’m a peasant. Haha
I think she is sulking because she wasted the ass gown on the wrong event.
She’s probably just crotchety because her bush is growing out and its itchy.
LOL!
You owe me a new keyboard.
Bwahahahaha!!!
Girls, you’re so much fun to read 😀 Reading these witty, bitchy comments has seriously become one of my favourite evening relaxation!
LOL
Love these comments here! ♥
Yea, that black, panel number would have been perfect for the “punk” gala. I’m bummed, that these prissy people, didn’t get into the punk theme more. Miley was @ the only one that looked like she dressed for the intent of the theme.
Madonna and I hate to say it SJP got it right as well. No pics of Kelly Osborne but she was there and also got it right.
Gwyn has just become a running joke these days and I’m loving it. I don’t even loathe her as much anymore because at least she’s making me laugh and that’s laughing at her, not with her. Maybe it was un-fun b/c her husband probably spent most of the night talking to everyone except her.
@V4real : Here’s Kelly’s pic http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/article_slideshow_slide/public/2013/05/07/kelly-osbourne-2013-met-gala.jpg
Ooooh no, on second look maybe she didn’t. I don’t know; better than most of them. She already had the hair but I would expect more from her.
Or she caught him talking to Kate B. She was there as well. Miranda Kerr best dress? Oh pleasz! It was definitely snark towards Kate.
On another site, maybe People magazine, there were commenters saying “so many of these women looked like freaks” or “why would these celebrities dress like that?” A lot of them said “Miley Cyrus, Madonna, and SJP looked like freaks, only Katie Holmes, Heidi Klum, and Jessica Alba looked good and sophisticated.” I’m thinking maybe the reason they didn’t go all out punk was to appeal to the mini van majority. I was disappointed too. Goop’s dress was just boring imo.
When I saw Madonna’s outfit the first thing that went through my mind was that place/event must be hot. And she’s making sure she doesn’t melt as the night goes on.
But I agree, she got it.
@BeesKnees, I noticed that too, lots of posters on other boards seem to miss the theme. They were attacking hair colors, spikes, etc.
I love you, its official.
Try to keep their relationship as private as possible? LOL “Not” standing together holding hands isn’t keeping their relationship as private as possible. But “not” giving interviews ad nauseum talking about Chris and your marriage is keeping it as quiet as possible. Of course you forgot the “not” part.
Right? How the hell is not posing together keeping their relationship private? Methinks she would be only too thrilled to pose with Chris. It’s him that doesn’t want to be photographed with her.
ha! her whole “it was too crowded” means there were too many peasants there for her liking.
Ha! that is code for people other than “A” listers were at the party. What a nightmare for Gwenyth..I hope she’s going to be OK.
That was exactly my thought too… I immediately thought of Goop catching sight of Kim Kardashian, and how it must have just ruined her night
I choose to believe Gwyneth deemed the event “un-fun” because the guest list has become so….C-list. Once they let a Kardashian in, the whole event went to hell! Gwyneth can’t possible be associated with such commoners.
But didn’t KK go to some event Paltrow sponsored and didn’t she defend her, so that can’t be the reason.
She was probably upset that no one said she wore the best dress and she also had to be in the same room with her husband–weird relationship. But you make your own fun, though it did look boring as the dickens.
Word.
Can’t blame Kim on this one.
I think she defended her in a backhand way
“I now dub thee Lady Mac Barf”.
@Kate – I agree with you the Met Gala has become a C-Z list event. I saw so more pics of the C-Z list than I did the A list or the elite. I am such a snob if I was born back in time I would totally be a servant like Carson from Downton Abbey and out snob the aristocrats. In my world a Kartrashian would only be a mistress and would never be in the same company as a lady.
The gown looks like the executioner missed his mark.
Love it!! ^^^^
These comments are so great. 😀
Oh God! Love it! LOL!!!
I bet the Met people are crying in their cornflakes over this apocalyptic news.
“I was like ‘Is it weird to be that pretty?’ And she was like ‘No'” And I am like “Vomit!”.
In the wise words of the illustrious Professor Snape…. “I may vomit.”
I’m sorry, I can’t help but love her. She is just so entertaining. And I have to kind of admire her honesty here. I would love for a celebrity to talk about how boring it is to sit through the Oscars or something like that, but calling the biggest fashion event of the year “un-fun” is the next best thing.
+1
I have been to this party. It is not fun.
On Monday to husband: (who works uptown)
Me: Watch the traffic today, it’s the Costume Gala at the Met.
H: Didn’t we go to that once?
Me: Yes.
H: That party was not fun. It sucked.
Yeah, the truth is it does!!!
All the celebrities, the media. blogs make it into a big deal! But it is so boring.
Most websites or media don’t explain this BUT
These celebrities get “assigned” to designers by Vogue. Anna pairs them.
Most the designers choose what the celebrity wears. Some designers will allow some to choose but it is not like the Oscars – at all. They all Anna’s B*tches that night. Bigger the celeb better the designer. Plus, the designer has more say so.
I have a friend who has been to the Met Gala a few times and she didn’t think it was all that much fun, either. More like something she had to do for professional reasons (she’s in the business)
@Miss C
That is an interesting bit of news. Anna picks the designers for the celebs. So both her and the designer are the culprits who made KimK look like a couch in order to get through the door!? What a couple of mean girls!
She really didn’t look happy about the the whole thing. But since she’s been sporting that same face for while I thought she chose that outfit.
Thanks for sharing that tidbit.
Suffering for fashion/Anna.
I really like her too! Yes she is a bit over the top but unfortunately there will always be people like this in the world. Also, its great that she has high self esteem, there are too many women out there that settle for less, and about GOOP, at least she is honest about her advice, and i would guess that she uses the products she has on the website, at least she hawking Walmart products and pretends to use them. Gwyneth is the real deal. I don’t find her fake and I like that.
What’s wrong with having gates that high? I have gates and walls far higher than that. I like my privacy and don’t need anyone peeking in anytime they want. Also, the MET gala HAS gone to sh*t since Casper Smart and the Human Urinal were allowed in.
I absolutely agree with you here.
This. My gate and fence are 10ft or thereabouts. My next door neighbours on both sides are both extremely tall guys, so if 6ft was the limit where I live I’d never have any privacy.
Yeah, I can’t get all worked up over 9 foot high fences. 19 feet, maybe, but I have a feeling this is a case of an overzealous HOA (or whatever it might be called in an uber posh neighborhood) getting their panties in a twist.
As for GPalt’s comments about the MET gala…big deal. I actually kind of applaud her for saying it sucked, because you KNOW no one else would have had the balls / ovaries to say it.
It’s against the rules, likely because it blocks the views for her neighbors. It’s very tight quarters in Brentwood.
Because it’s the rules.
The Met gala has gone to crap with a bunch of d listers: Kim K, Casper Smart, Stacey Keibler. It used to be a very classy event and now its just plain tacky.
Is this a legitimate quote? I thought Gwyneth attended every year.
In her defense….it did seem kind of lame this year.
I wonder if Goop crossed paths with Madge there…
Ah HA!
I was wondering if Miley crossed path with January Jones.
No more Vogue covers for GOOP.
I think she is just trolling at this point. I mean, she can’t possibly be serious about all the crap she’s been saying lately, right?
Oh you have no idea of how seriously she takes herself. She’s Goop, therefore she’s perfect.
Speaking of un-fun, a Goop colonic anyone?
The Met Gala has to be more fun than that.
Great!!!!! Can I have your ticket next year?!!!’
I would loooooove to go!!!!!!!
What a snob!!!! All the best most exciting advantages and she’s complaining?!!!! Ugh.
Agreed. I saw Anna Wintour in an interview saying “…anyone wanted to participate was invited .” Hmmmm…WHAT kind of deal did Kanye make her?? And he must have called in favours from his friend Beyonce to agree to take a picture with his girlfriend. Momager must have sold the soul of her unborn grandchildren as well to help make that night happen!
Oops, this was supposed to be a reply to an earlier comment but I agree @Nev as well
So many thoughts.
1-if the Met gala sucks and you only came bc of BFF Beyonce, what was your excuse (coercion?) for attending last year?
2-if you’re keeping your marriage private, why have you been discussing it in every book/IM3-promoting interview for the last 3 months?
3-anyone else looking at her dress and getting a weird vibe that it’s referencing Gwennie’s much-maligned Oscar-winning Ralph Lauren? Similar fabric, similar shape and fit issues, and the all-over pink which she must know would be associated with that dress!
I think most celebs buy in so deeply to their own facade and a** talk from narcissism they’re oblivious to how HYPOCRITICAL they are.
Yes! I thought it was a retread of her Oscar gown! Reminded me of the scene in ” the age of innocence” when May goes out to the opera in her wedding gown ( two years after the wedding) when she thinks her husband is cheating on her…. Hmmmm….
Why is she suddenly so ubiquitous? Holy crow, every day she’s giving a new interview.
She hides out for years and works a little here and there and is then suddenly everywhere like the plague. Please stop!!
Good for her…take a stand I say! Also never ever buy Vogue again because Anna Wintour officially lost her ever-loving edge this year. Just look at the guest list. So uncool.
I agree – Vogue and the Met Ball used to symbolize a sense of “making it,” of having some import and longevity in the field of acting or modeling. Not it’s open to anyone who has experienced 15 minutes of fame, regardless of how they got it.
Not to mention Anna’s awful dress
Oh, poor Goop. Maybe her 22-year old stripper ass wasn’t seated at Queen Anna’s table…
Chris probably said or did something that made her mad but instead of communicating that, she went down on him in the car and took her anger out on the event. *shudders at the nauseating visual I just created*
Everything’s “boring” when you’re a biotch in a horrible dress.
Could she be any more annoying? She didn’t appear on the red carpet with her husband because they like to keep the relationship private? So standing on a carpet and getting your picture taken is too much? I mean it’s not like we expected her to drop to her knees in front of him or anything.
“Un-fun”, what is she five years old? And we should feel bad for her because she endured the Met Gala? Sorry honey, I’ll save my sympathy for three young women who just ended their decade long horrific captivity.
Oh poor Gwynnie,having to dress up and wear designer clothes and party with movie stars really is an awful stressful thing to go through every year isn’t it? I’m sure she is not just upset that her ugly boring pink old lady dress bombed and that younger more beautiful women like Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway stole her thunder,right.No,no she was bored.God,what a snob.So what,don’t come next year. No one would’ve noticed if she hadn’t.
There is one thing she needs to learn rather than dishing out tips to us peasants: how to STFU!
Although I don’t like this woman, I think she has a point – when trash like Kardashian show up, the event is officially met its past-due date. I don’t think the Met should be associated with porn stars.
This.
I agree with G too. Don’t shoot the messenger. The gala has the potential to be so fantastic. But gals like Kim ruin the fantasy of it (which is what fashion at the level should be all about.)
If GOOP were my neighbor, I’d be glad of her fence. I’d build her a taller one.
You know she really wanted to say, “They just let anybody in now!”
When she and her husband had to pose for cell phone pics with Psy, you know she was dying inside.
@Talie Lol, I know right! What she really meant was “I am an Oscar winner and I am too good to be at a party with the likes of Kim K. and Stacy Keibler”.They are not stars,they are just screwing stars”.I swear if she had just said that and been honest,I’d love her.
I would think a 9 foot fence would suit everyone just fine, actually.
Will her next book be about gracious party manners? Or how great it is to have a DH that want his privacy from YOU when you’re out in public?
Does this mean that Chris will “get” the Met Gala in the divorce?
Gwyneth, you can give me your invitation to next year’s Met Gala if you want to! I’d be more than happy to go in your place :D. Wouldn’t want you to be bored two years in a row.
Un-fun? She really sounds UNeducated.
I think she’s a little salty because she wasn’t the center of attention – despite being the most beautiful woman in the world.
Shut the funk up GOOP!
Bad manners to dis a party you’re invited to. Your dress is “un-fun”.
I hope I’m remembering the right person, but didn’t she just cone out and discuss her miscarriage and a few personal marriage things? Not that talking about a miscarriage is a problem, if you choose to but wasn’t her husband upset about it? How can she say no to pictures on the red carpet together because they value privacy after that? Am I confused? Or does she contradict EVERYTHING every times she talks???? 🙁
she contradicts herself whenever she opens her mouth.
every.damn.time.
Somehow I doubt Beyonce would have cared if she went or not. It’s so obvious that Gwyneth is way more into that friendship than Beyonce is. It’s still pretty classless to insult a gala that has been around for years anyways. I bet Anna Wintour is not thrilled with these comments and it’s not a good think to be on her shit-list. As someone who sells herself as someone who is classy and graceful, you would this she wouldn’t engage in this kind of behavior. Stupid, stupid move on her part. Doubt she’ll be on a Vogue cover in the future.
There goes her future Vogue cover or until Anna steps down. What a relief, I couldn’t stand her and don’t find her to be as well-dressed or style-inspiring as the media makes her out to be. What’s so punk about pink satin anyways? And ball-skirt too???
My question is why does she feel the need to be “above it all”? It’s speaks more of a deep set weakness, an overcompensation for something.
If we could peer inside her I would not doubt that we would find a jumbled mess with solely a core of dark self-hate.
I feel sorry for her for that, but if she takes it out on others…well, that’s where the problem lies.
The fact that Kim Kardashian was invited should have been a giant red flag.
Maybe because Madge, her frenemy and Kim Kardashian’s potpourri dress took all the attention?
I think she has a point. Judging from the pics, Psy and Jennifer Lawrence were the only ones who genuinely enjoyed the party. They were the most relaxed looking guests that evening.
The Met ball isnt what it used to be. It used to be only a list celebs from movies & fashion world and now its a bunch of D listers/flavor of the month: Kim Kardashian, Kate Upton, etc.
Actually, a lot of the people at the Met Gala are also patrons of the Met.
Then don’t go next year? That’s easy to fix.. Stay home & put up another fence!
I guess she wasn’t the most popular girl at this event. There’s more to this than C-listers in attendance.
Anyone else catch Marc Jacobs giving her the cold shoulder? ON CAMERA?
This happened while she was being interviewed by that dumb model chick. It was amazing. She was all ready to show us how tight she and Marc are and his greeting was spectacularly condescending. She probably requested that footage be destroyed forever.
Definitely wasn’t her night.
Oh how I would love to see that footage. With all of my bitchy little heart.
Oh no, Gwyneth Paltrow was stuck doing something that was not fun for her. Let us all weep for her pain.
If she could speak with any eloquence at all, and therefore be entertaining, she wouldn’t be so insufferable. She sounds 13 years old — and a rich, spoiled, uneducated, unimaginative 13 at that. My god she’s stupid.
Every page now is something about Gwyneth Paltrow. She is really courting the media these days. Perhaps its because she just turned 40, and feels the pinch of getting older in Hollywood.
No matter what you think of her, that old gargoyle who calls herself Anna Wintour is still one of the most influential people in the fashion industry. I, personally, am tickled pink that Goop went out of her way to insult the woman, and I look forward to any repercussions that may come her way as a result.
My thought is Goop is not returning to the Met because “anyone” can come now (i.e., Kim Kardashian). It is no longer for the A+ elite event it once was. Notice: the exodus has begun because the mean girl has deemed it so. It is so High School 101.
I love Goop’s bitchiness and snark. It’s unintentionally hilarious. She managed to throw shade at Madonna, Bosworth and the whole event. She’s getting more interesting in her old age. Bring it on, I say!
I like goop. I enjoy her movies but I will not buy her expensive stuff. I don’t blame her for not going to the Gala and breathing the same air as the Kartrasian.
I thought it didn’t look as classy as usual. Miley, Kim and Kate Bosworth (why is she still relevant!!?!?) – they don’t belong there.
she wants to keep her relationship private but she talks about blowing him when he gets mad at her?
Question: Why did she even go if it was such a chore mingling with the lower classes? And god forbid she have to appear on the red carpet with that wanker of a husband. Was it just to support her BFF Bey? Anyway, she’s insufferable, her dress was bilious and I wish she’d ‘shut her cake-hole’ as her lovely Brits say.
Can’t wait for the day her kids write a type of 21st century Mommie Dearest type of biography about her.
And I’m only going by Gwyneth’s comments to the effect of her flying anywhere, because she has nannies (that she can dump her kids on) and seeing photographs of her daughter still sucking her thumb in public.
Yet this woman is so caught up in her bland self.
And who is the demographic that gives a sh!t what she says? I’ve always wondered that.
Meaning
“It was too crowded”
It was too peasanty. Who let all of the plebs in. The vanity fair after oscars party is hot sweaty and crowded, but that is for just the hollywood elite. Goop is just upset that people can get into the Met gala by buying a ticket.
Didn’t Goop cop to having a special name for people out of show business?
Get a load of this quote she gave to Entertainment Weekly regarding the main character of the novel Gone Girl and herself:
“As a prominent woman in the culture I’m sort of a character and people project a lot on to me.”
http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/05/09/gwyneth-paltrow-must-list/
She’s probably just jelly that Queen Bey was a co-chair to the event and she was not.
Perhaps if they theme a future Met Gala along the lines of “Gold Dust Colonics”, Dame Goop will have a change of heart.
That is an ugly dress but not nearly as ugly as her attitude towards the rest of humanity.
This was my fave post on cb for quite a while! Thouroughly enjoyed it and all comments
Bravo to the person who figured out the kate bosworth shade
From all the crap that Goop’s been coming out with lately, I can see why BP went for JA right after they broke up.
Living with her must be so exhausting, which is probably why Chris doesn’t.