Amy Adams doesn’t want any more children, wants Aviana to be an only child

Here are some photos of Amy Adams and her partner/baby-daddy Darren Le Gallo at last night’s LA premiere of Man of Steel. Amy wore a Nina Ricci Fall 2013 gown which I’m not loving. It’s an interesting design, and maybe I would have enjoyed it more for an awards show red carpet, and only then with completely different styling. I’m sorry, but her hairstyle sucks. I love Amy, and I think she’s so pretty/cute, but the styling is TERRIBLE.

Amy recently appeared on Chelsea Lately and she had one funny story – about her daughter goosing Henry Cavill – and one interesting story. It seems that Amy is quite positive that she doesn’t want another kid. She’s sure that Aviana is going to be an only child. That’s quite shocking in a world where Hollywood moms (and regular moms) are always talking about wanting more babies, more babies, etc.

Amy Adams is raising a little flirt! During a June 6 appearance on Chelsea Lately, the 38-year-old actress revealed that her 3-year-old daughter Aviana (with fiance Darren Le Gallo) developed a crush on Man of Steel’s leading man, Henry Cavill.

“When she met him, she liked the look of the suit, so when he turned around, she goosed him!” Adams said of her only child’s first meeting with Cavill, 30. “You know what Henry said? ‘Like mother, like daughter!’”

“He was funny,” Adams said of the English actor, who’s dating action star Gina Carano. “He has a great sense of humor.”

Adams — who also admitted that her own “first crush was Superman” — said she had been vying for the role of newspaper reporter Lois Lane for nearly a decade. “I auditioned twice before. There was an incarnation that J.J. Abrams scripted and then the one they did a couple years ago [Superman Returns],” she said. (Kate Bosworth was cast opposite Brandon Routh in the 2006 adaptation, which was widely panned by critics.)

Engaged to actor/artist Le Gallo since 2008, Adams told host Chelsea Handler that she has no desire to have any more children. According to the famous redhead, when she tells people that Aviana will be an only child, they often look at her quizzically.

“People really give you a look. They’re like, ‘When are you having another?’ And you’re like, ‘I’m not.’ And then you feel like a bad person,” the Colorado-raised star said. “They’re like, ‘Don’t you want to give her a sibling?’ But I had so many siblings that I’m like, ‘God, no!’”

[From Us Weekly]

Tina Fey talked about the only-child thing too – that when she was deciding whether or not to have a second child, people were flat-out offended that she would even consider only having one kid. Apparently, it’s no longer popular to just do one kid. Which is weird. I’m an only child and I love it. Only children are underrated! Also: how cute is the “like mother, like daughter” story?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

191 Responses to “Amy Adams doesn’t want any more children, wants Aviana to be an only child”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Pastyousayyouneverknew says:

    It’ll be her body carrying the child so it’s her decision, nothing weird about only wanting one kid at all.

  2. GiGi says:

    I think it’s personal choice (obviously, lol) – I know many only children who love it, some who wish they had siblings… I also know many with siblings who wish they were onlies!

    I have 3 kids – and would love to have more. My sister just had her first and, likely, only. I don’t see a huge difference in people once they’re adults, really, so I’m never sure what the controversy is all about.

    • Micki says:

      I think the opinions are formed depending on the own childhood- happy/unhappy with sublings or not.

      Children see things one way, parents the other. Originally I wanted 3 children. I started late having them and now I’m happy I have 2 healthy ones.

      There’s no guarantee that whatever “family model” s.o. is following it will work out.
      So one happy child is better than 2 unhappy ones I guess.

      • Spooks says:

        I agree. People look on their childhood and decide based on that.
        I have a sister and we are very close (and have arguments at least twice a day :D ) , so I hope I will have at least 2 children because I want my children to have that bond one day.

      • Micki says:

        @:Spooks:
        Wish you luck with that.
        I’m an older sister and we don’t have a strong bond at all. My sister is not a bad person (that must be me LOL)but we get on each other throats within 30 after we meet. So I’m anxious how my kids will turn out.
        I don’t know what to avoid and what to do because I don’t know what went wrong first place.

      • Lucija says:

        Thanks :)
        But to be honest, I don’t know how to raise your kids that way. It kind of just happened.
        My whole family is really close, I mean, I’m closer to my cousins than some people are to their siblings, so I guess that helps too.

      • Thiajoka says:

        @Lucija: I’m the same with my cousins. I was an only child until I was almost 12 years old, so I spent a lot of time at my aunt’s house just so I could be with my cousins. I love my brother dearly (although we do usually have a good blow-out once a year or so) but there’s a lot of family stuff he wasn’t here for, such as knowing our grandparents and then experiencing their deaths–he was really young when my last maternal grandparent died and both paternal grandparents and one maternal were already passed on before he was born.

        So, my cousins and I talk a lot together about our grandparents and laugh at the memories.

    • Sabrine says:

      I’m not an only child but I wish I was one.

      • Jenny says:

        Lol, and I’m an only child that always wished I’d had siblings. Like other posters have said, I think our childhood experiences color our opinions of this issue. In the end, it is each woman’s (or couple’s) personal decision.

  3. HappyMom says:

    I have 4-but there are days when I see the appeal of just having one. Seriously though-having kids is not for everyone, some people just want one-some crazy people like me have a bigger family-it’s really all good. It’s your life-you get to choose.

  4. Toot says:

    She has such a cute daughter. One of the best looking celebrity kids.

  5. Vee says:

    She is a complete doll. Her daughter goosed Henry! I’m jealous!

  6. MissBB says:

    Well, good for her! It’s her choice. I also have one kid and no desire for more and get the same looks she describes when I tell people one is enough. To each their own of course, but I think people should learn to respect these (private!) decisions more and not be so judgemental.

  7. minime says:

    I’m all in the “her body, her life, her decision” ship.

    From a personal point of view, I find it sad to not have siblings, just because no matter what, your siblings are (usually/we all know exceptions) there for you for the rest of your life. But if you have a big family and a lot of cousins it all ends up in the same I guess…I just don’t know, I guess I would feel selfish in not giving at least a sibling to my kids, but I have no kids yet so things might change till then and indeed is just my very personal feeling.

    • steph says:

      I have siblings. I hate it. I wish I was an only child (if you knew the story trust me, you would understand). Siblings are over rated. Go Amy.

    • energydrink says:

      I was an only child, and while I do admit wanting siblings when I was younger, in the end it all turned out for the best. Unfortunately, my family is not and never will be tight-knit, which I find sad, however all in all I’m very happy that I was the only one who had to suffer when my Mom comitted suicide and I was left on my own. It has made me a highly independent person, who can survive and come out on top through any struggle. Comparing to my husband, and former classmates/friends with siblings, there is a lot of unwanted tension and competition I never had to deal with. I might have more problems with sharing and generally being too self-focused, however these negatives are very small comparing to all I’ve become being an only child, so I also plan to provide the same when it comes to me ( of course hubby would want siblings :D ). Really depends on your own childhood and experiences, however I would never judge anyone for either decision.

    • Andrea says:

      Having siblings is no guarantee. My older first cousin lost her oldest brother in a motorcycle accident when he was 18 and now just lost her little brother to cancer. She’s 52 and now with no siblings. :(

  8. Jenna says:

    Nothing wrong with that! It’s even becoming the norm in my family. lol

  9. Elisabeth says:

    Because of pregnancy difficulties and my age…my daughter will be an only child. I would have loved to have more children but unfortunately its not possible. Nothing wrong with having just one child (whether by choice or not)
    :)

  10. Alexis says:

    Most only children I know are psychos (no offense). There are definitely exceptions to that observation, though. I feel like you should have at least two kids…so your child can grow up with a buddy.

  11. Nanz says:

    I always like Amy Adams’ interviews. She seems…honest. I like that she is so straightforward about her decision even though it’s really no one’s business.

  12. serena says:

    Of course it’s a personal choice and I respect people who doesn’t want children at all or just think one is enoug. I’m like that too. But the way she says it, it’s just wrong. You don’t want to give your daughter a sibling because you had many and it was terrible? what kind of excuse is that? I’d understand if she said one child is handful enough and she doesn’t have time nor patience or will, but this..

  13. Val says:

    If I have children I only want one child.

  14. Katie says:

    I’m an only child and I’ve never wanted siblings. The only people who try and guilt parents into having more than one child are people who feel to validate their own life choices.

    I’d side eye her more for the 5 year “engagement” than having one child.

  15. hg says:

    I want one and a half. of each gender.

  16. Sal says:

    What does “goosed” mean?

  17. bsh says:

    It’s her personal choice. No one should criticise her for this. But, I have to say, my personal experience is that almost every only children I know turn out extremely spoiled and self-centred as a teenager/adult. I am talking about girls especially. I have many girlfriends who grew up as only children and they are totally possessive, over-jealous persons, not inclined to sharing stuff (and people).

  18. LouLou says:

    Women aren’t baby factories, and the world is overpopulated. There are options other than providing babies so other people approve of you.

  19. Post-It's says:

    I am LOLing at people who feel sorry for kids without a sibling. I’m an only child and I don’t need your pity. Really. All my friends HATED their siblings growing up and some still hate them now. I never regretted not having a brother or sister. Oddly enough, I survived into adulthood relatively normal. As for the spoiled comments, if your family was poor like mine, there was no such thing as spoiled. However, my neighbor got a brand new car on her 16th birthday and her sister got one too on the same day, just because her parents didn’t want either kid to feel left out.

    • Pastyousayyouneverknew says:

      I’ve got five siblings and we’re best friends but I definitely know more than a handful of siblings who definitely cannot stand each other and family reunions can be awkward as hell. I think it’s silly to make a general statement that people without siblings are somehow at a disadvantage or more likely to end up as a psycho.

    • Katie says:

      THANK YOU. I’m an only child who has worked regularly since I was 16 (I’m 30 now), not including the baby-sitting I did starting at 13. My parents raised me to be independent and hard-working. My transition into adulthood was easier because I was raised around adults, so not only was I a better conversationalist, I was also less gullible to peer pressure. My parents only wanted one child, so they only had one child. I got enough attention growing up and I have a better/closer relationship with my parents because they were smart enough to stop at one. If you have the patience and the money to have 3, 4, even 5 children, then more power to you. There are plenty of people who should stop at one (or shouldn’t have any) who choose not to, and society gets to deal with their insecurity.

      People who think there’s something wrong with only children, or who think they’re spoiled and bratty should check out the middle and youngest children in their families. You want to talk about obnoxious…

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        You can argue any point if you want. If so desired, one could very easily interpret that comment thusly:

        - It’s only the parents of an only child who introduce their kids to the ‘finer things’ and to more evolved people. They are the only ones who are smart enough to not be taken in by the Chuck E. Cheese pestilence–the opiate of the multiples. This produces a child who is inherently superior because he didn’t have to suffer through the intellectual and social wasteland that is grotty other kids.

        - Parents of multiples don’t have time to parent and produce dissolute feral children.

        -Parents who have more than one child frequently do so because they don’t know their own limits and by transitive property neither will their kids.

        -Multiples are unthinking pods easily corrupted because (for whatever reason) they don’t get the home training enjoyed by a single child. Mayhem ensues in their wake.

        -You can have more than one kid, but why would do it? People are strange.

        - If you’re born into a family of multiples, just know that you’re doomed to a bad relationship with your parents. That’s fine, because people who loose more than one spawn upon the universe deserve the inevitable discord.

        So, I dunno. There’s no wrong choice (theoretically).

    • Christin says:

      Just because someone is the sole child doesn’t mean they will be spoiled any more than having several will guarantee they will be best buddies or any more responsible. It’s all personal choice.

      Just one example: My personal observation is that whether there is one child or more, the responsibility of helping the parents later in life usually falls on one. There is a saying that one mother can care for four children, but four (adult) children cannot care for one mother.

      • Post-It's says:

        Christin – Exactly. You know who took care of my mother for four years while she battled terminal cancer? Me. I was responsible for it all. And before any chimes in saying that a sibling may have helped me, how many people do you know who have brothers and sister who completely flake out on helping family members?

      • Christin says:

        I feel for those who are only kids caring for parents because I have the same challenge. Having siblings would not guarantee anything (at least I tell myself that). I have seen families with as many as six to eight children living within driving distance, and one will end up with most if not all the responsibility. That would frustrate me even more. My cousins with siblings either panic or hide when something even temporarily happens to an elderly parent. They start thinking another sibling should be doing something, making excuses or wanting praise because they took a parent to the doctor once or twice. When the parents are gone, it can be like a bunch of kids getting into lingering arguments over money, past resentments, who did more, etc. Having cooperative siblings when times get tough is not always the norm.

      • lovegossip says:

        Yep. My Mother-In-Law has lived with us for 6 years. Would I like to have the room she uses for our kids’ playroom? Absolutely. Haha. But I would rather have her here. She has another son who “helps” her by taking every dime she has and not helping one bit! So in some cases,siblings are worse “help”!! :-(

  20. Jackson says:

    Wow, I love that dress and I think her styling is fine. I especially like the top photo because it makes the dress look more gunmetal grey, not black, but even as a black dress I really like it. I do agree that it would have been a great awards show dress.
    And I have an only dog. I don’t want to bring in another dog and have him be displaced as Top Dog. Does that count on the only child question?

  21. Shijel says:

    Also an only child. My mom would have wanted to have more but she didn’t. I have a stepsister now who is my age and she’s fine, but we really don’t deal with each other often.

    I think back at my life and I don’t regret having no siblings. My parents are good people and I love them but they were never there, I was physically (though not emotionally. I never craved for company) alone since three, and moved to live on my own at 13. I still don’t regret a thing, no brotherly-sisterly support, ‘a person to talk to’, nothing. Don’t think I’m particularly ‘spoiled and greedy’ either, even though at the time my family was very well off. I guess they taught me from early on that just because I’m privileged, I’m entitled to fuck all.
    This patronising way of thinking is ignorant and offensive and is best to be kept to oneselves.

    My English isn’t in its best shape today.

  22. Rux says:

    I am an only child. I remember other kids would say they were jealous because I did not have to share with my siblings? Share what?! We came as refugees from communist Romania…there was NOTHING for me to share. Now, my parents are elderly and I am ON MY OWN to take care of two parents who are both extremely ill. It would have been a blessing to have siblings to help me out and take some of the stress off my shoulders. I would give up any toys, privileges, whatever, to have help.

  23. Slammer says:

    It is her choice so who cares? I am married to an only child and the only negative I see is his overbearing mother. As long as the parents have a life and remember to not smother their kids then player play on!

  24. lisa says:

    i liked being an only child until my parents became elderly. it’s too much for me to handle alone but there is no one else. but a lot of people have a sibling that wouldnt help them or couldnt. but still, now i wish i had at least 1 sibling.

    but i wouldnt tell someone to have a second kid if they dont want one.

    • Loira says:

      Speaking from experience, there is no guarantee the other siblings would help with the ill parents. My bro and sis lived elsewhere and my sis tried and left her job at times to help, but my brother hardly ever showed up, did not actually help at all.
      Also, my friend who was an only child, suffered caring for her elderly parents, she h ad the means to have help, but she had to be there constantly for like 4 years. Her personal life was almost on standby because the illnesses of her parents (heart problems for one, aftermath of a stroke for the other) were very demanding of her attention.
      I always knew I would be caring for my parents, even when I had other siblings. It is funny to me to see what happened on teh Aniston and her mother thread, where a lot of people were fine with the situation. Makes me wonder of the cultural differences.

      • lisa says:

        my parents are divorced and going back and forth is crazy. one is wheelchair bound but mentally sharp and wont leave his home. one is physically sharp but mentally a mess and wont leave her house for a variety of paranoid reasons. i dont have the balls but i would like to move away and let them figure it out on their own.

  25. Isa says:

    The thing is people will always have something to say about your reproductive choices.
    If you just have one you need to give them a sibling so they will not be spoiled and learn how to share. Because you can only ever share with a sibling. Ha.
    If you have two boys or two girls you need to try for the opposite sex. Because your family isn’t complete without one of each.
    If you have a boy and a girl you’re insane for having a third because you had “the perfect family.”
    And once you start on your third people think it’s acceptable to ask, “don’t you know what causes that?” Yes, tequila and dirty, hot, doggy style sex.

  26. Malificent says:

    I would have liked more than one child, but for a host of solid reasons, that’s not going to be happening. Some days my son loves being an only child, and some days he wants instant company. Just like some days I liked being one of five and some days I didn’t. And a large family isn’t a guarantee of compatibility between the kids. I’m truly friends with only one of my siblings, and the same is true for the others. We each only have one or two of the others that we really get along with.

    I do get frustrated when other moms comment on the number of children in our family. I realize that it’s a normal conversational question on the playground, but there is always a spin to it. I call it the JustTheOne Syndrome. “Oh, you just have the one?” Or, even more invasive: “You didn’t want more?” But I figured out the perfect comeback. I just say, “Yes, I wanted more.” And then I don’t elaborate. Makes people realize that they asked an inappropriately personal question.

  27. Isa says:

    Oh and two years ago I asked a someone when she was going to have another. She said they were going to try soon. Over two years and no baby. I feel like an ass. But I learned to keep my mouth shut about other people’s family size. I imagine she gets that question a lot. You never know when someone is having fertility problems.

    • pantalones en fuego says:

      Thank you! I have one son and we always get the “are you going to have more?” question. I actually just had a late term (14 weeks along) miscarriage so we will probably not try again. As much as I would love for my son to have a sibling, I don’t want to go through another loss.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      The thing is, I could imagine myself asking that question just to make conversation, and not really knowing what else to say in regards to the subject of children….

      ..now that I understand the level of sensitivity involved, I’ll just STFU ;)

    • Poink517 says:

      Yeah, I think it can be hard to realize how sensitive that stuff is unless you are trying to have kids yourself or have had trouble. I’m sure in the past I have put my foot in my mouth asking questions like that. However, if you really think about it, it is possible that almost any question you ask anybody could be a loaded question, depending on their circumstances, so one can’t beat oneself up too much.

    • Jayna says:

      Bingo. I used to ask a client who I was friendly wth about once a year when they were having another baby and he would just make a joke about this one tiring him out or noncommittal as the years went by. He never said they couldn’t, and their child was so little, I didn’t think about it. But it’s now seven years later, and it hit me they probably couldn’t have another one for a fertility reason. And he wasn’t going to share that with someone he is just friendly with. I felt really bad thinking back about it.

      • Isa says:

        Pantalones and Poink I am so sorry for your losses. 😢
        People have asked me that question before and I never gave it much thought. I thought it was just acceptable small talk. It really taught me a lesson. I feel bad because infertility can really take over your thoughts. Here she was just trying to shop and I come up and (possibly) remind her.
        Also the Internet has really helped me learn what annoys people.

  28. SamiHami says:

    Families come in all shapes and sizes. There is no one “right” number of kids that each family should have. There’s no point in arguing about what’s better. Each couple has to decide for themselves what size family they want.

    Okay, I’ll make one exception. The Duggars have wayyyyy too many kids. Their older kids are raising the younger ones and that is completely unfair. If you can’t actually parent them yourself then you shouldn’t be having them at all.

    • Christin says:

      Agree. I watched only one episode of their show and could quickly see that mom of so many was simply assigning the real work to the older kids. While I think kids do need to learn responsibility at an early age, having a kid assigned to care for multiple siblings while mom just keeps having more is a bit unfair.

  29. Evadstructn says:

    I’m an only child from a single parent family. I spent a hellava lot of time alone as a child, and I am now very comfortable with solitude. Sometimes I think I’m too comfortable with being alone, to the point of social isolation. I sometimes feel quite strongly that having a sibling would have changed this aspect of my personality. Even if I was not close with a sibling in adulthood, I feel that having a relationship with a sibling during childhood may have made me less inclined towards isolation. My experience as an only child has been quite a lonely one, generally speaking. Im sure that has alot to do with parenting though, im sure there are many socially outgoing only children too!

    • pantalones en fuego says:

      There are just different personality types too. I have 3 siblings and I also prefer being alone almost to the point of social isolation. Many only children that I know are extremely social, more so than people with siblings.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      My sisters are ten years older than me so there’s some isolation default. Also they’re twins and I’m not so there’s that. I’m totally fine with a lot of isolation and I have good relationships with both of them. I’m always playing catch up to three mothers but I don’t think that I’m getting anywhere with that.

  30. Jade says:

    Aviana is a pretty nice name, though it’s a bit reminiscent of spring water. Unique.

  31. Mary says:

    It’s certainly not a bad thing to say, it’s her decision. I wouldn’t like to be an only child. Even though my siblings drive me nuts and often times relations can be fraught with tension, i know that ultimately they are the ones who will stick with me no matter what, even more than good friends and partners. It’s nice to have that security, although i do know a lot of people no longer talk to their siblings. It depends. Hopefully Aviana has cousins she can be close with

  32. Audrey says:

    I only want one. My husband is getting a vasectomy once the risk of sids is lower for our daughter (she’s 2.5 months now). We’ve always wanted just one child

    I’ve had several people imply that I’m a bad mom for not giving Ella a sibling. It’s nasty and offensive

    • Isa says:

      I’m pregnant with my third and I want my husband to get a vasectomy when the baby is a few months old. When I told them my reason they gasped and acted like I was horrible for thinking that way.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      It’s stupid, why do they even care? I’ve always found that assumption to be goofy and babyish and I don’t even understand what their point is supposed to be. My research show all children spring from one womb so that’s the only way for children to interact with each other and you know I’m right. Check for my findings in the Saint Science Journal Of Half-Cocked Tomfoolery and Mendacious Proclamations. The boy in the plastic uterus? Come on with that.

    • Andie B says:

      Our daughter is 5 years old and is an only child. For various reasons we decided to have only one. She is an outgoing, sociable and well adjusted child. Certainly not spoiled either. I am so happy to have her, and I get annoyed when others (mainly older female relatives) demand to know when I’m having another.

  33. Me2 says:

    I’m one of six and just had one on purpose — we are so perfectly content and people just do not get it. Most women think I’ve lost my mind. I don’t know what could be wrong with being happy with what you have? We are SO fortunate to have one healthy, happy child!

  34. Emily says:

    If you raise them well, there’s no problem with having an only child…
    Growing up I did notice a marked difference in my friends who were only children though.. they had no one to fight with at home so would often pick silly fights with their friends for no reason.. they had no one at home to be jealous of or compete with so us as friends copped it all. It makes things difficult!
    I found they were often less grateful, more spoiled (so cliched, I know), weren’t as good at sharing/understanding etc.

    But this isn’t every kid so whatever.
    People are all different.
    Some people probably believe it’s admirable to provide their child with everything they want, so power to them…..

  35. Jackie Jormp Jomp (formerly Zelda) says:

    “Aviana” sounds like a budget airline.

    Siblings, or the lack thereof, cannot help that.

  36. Lflips says:

    I’m young, had an easy pregnancy and thought I wanted a large family. However, after having my daughter I am so hard pressed to have another baby. I love my daughter, but parenting is so, so, so much harder then I ever thought it would be. She’ll probably end up being an only child.

    • Whatwhatnot says:

      +1 times infinity

      Growing up I had a picture in my head of wanting/having multiple children. Then I had my daughter. I was 22 at the time and as she got older I realized I was more than fine with one. Especially since I am a single parent and on top of that my child had been diagnosed with a disease 7 years ago on top of every other regular responsibility kid’s come with. She’s also very been very stubborn and difficult to deal with ever since she was born :) so she’s a few handfuls in one. And those are just MY reasons for not wanting anymore. I get looked at like I have 3 heads when I tell people I’m done (and I’ve been saying it since my mid-late 20′s). It’s a personal choice and it’s a huge responsibility. If they don’t intend to offer physical, financial and emotional support for the rest of a child’s life, then their opinion isn’t needed on that matter.

  37. lucy2 says:

    To each their own, as far as the kids are concerned.
    I love that Amy has always wanted to play Lois Lane and finally is – and that they didn’t cast some 20 year old. I think she’ll be really great in the role.

  38. lucy says:

    When will people ever learn that it’s QUALITY and not QUANTITY?

    (And to mind their own business when it comes to other people’s reproductive choices?)

  39. lucy says:

    The fact that stigma even exists about # of siblings reflects poorly on whomever puts that energy out there.

    Whomever transmits that stigma has personal issues of their own to take care of, and should not be judging others.

    Let’s do away with the phrase “only child”. Not having siblings is not the kid’s choice. Having siblings is not the kid’s choice. The phrase “only child” imposes stigma upon the child.

    Siblings are not carbon copies of the parents nor of each other and there is no guarantee they will get along. It’s the quality of parenting that matters most.

    Remarks which denigrate or celebrate individuals based on the # of siblings they have or do not have are bigoted.

  40. Erin says:

    There are a lot of people saying “It’s her choice…..but these are the reasons why she is wrong.” You either agree that it is her choice or you don’t. You can’t have it both way.

    • Trek Girl says:

      “…but these are the reasons why she’s wrong” doesn’t negate “It’s her choice”. Wrong or right, it’s still her choice. Those two thoughts/opinions aren’t incompatible.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Yeah but it’s a bit of a precursory cop-out don’t you think? Sort of like “no offense” or “not to be mean”. Respectfully, there’s a difference between saying “this is why she is wrong:____” as an absolute versus “for myself, I did things differently because ____”. The former is pretty judgmental and intolerant.

        That being said, I kinda can’t believe people are fighting about whether having an only child is better than having more than one. Maybe I don’t get it because I don’t have kids but I just think it’s nobody’s damn business. I have a big brother and he’s amazing but I had plenty of only child friends that grew into well-adjusted, happy adults. I guess I think number of siblings is secondary to having loving, involved parents. Eh…

      • Nerd Alert says:

        “I guess I think number of siblings is secondary to having loving, involved parents.”

        My, Original Kitten, what must have happened in your life to make you so logical? Parish the thought…
        ;)

      • Lauren says:

        I completely agree with this. The best are people saying that they are not going to criticize or judge “but” then say them awful thing about only children or the people they become as adults. No judging though!

        TOK – this might be something that has more significance to you once you have kids, because then all your decisions and things you do or don’t do are up for public scrutiny and comment. I find it frustrating at times. Of course, many women who don’t have kids get questions about that, especially if they are married.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @TheOriginalKitten:

        It really doesn’t matter if it’s a precursory cop-out or if it sounds judgemental, or if it’s rude to say. Those two statements, or whatever they are, are not incompatible. One does not nullify the other. I was just pointing out why the commenters “You can’t have it both ways” logic doesn’t work in this case.

  41. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    I’m one of five kids….I like it. It’s loud, noise, chaotic…I can’t imagine being an only child, although I do wish it sometimes, being that I’m the second oldest. I don’t buy into the whole one child=brat. It’s just in how you raise your kids. My siblings and I may be brats at home, but we aren’t ever in public. My neighbors next door, they had one son for a very long time and then had another one-8-10 years apart-, and they’re both brats. That’s how it goes. Although, where I live, a lot of people don’t discipline their kids. I used to babysit a four year old who would curse, spit, and hit his mother because he saw his father doing it.

  42. Andrea says:

    I think Amy is refreshingly low key and honest. She’s in her late 30′s and she is making the right choice for her career and her body.

    Speaking as someone who has tried to get pregnant and failed…..I would kill to have just one healthy child. I pray for one healthy child. Not all of us are in a position to have more. We don’t know her situation.

    I always love Amy. She is honest and real. She’s naturally beautiful with no nips and tucks. I heard from a close friend that she is wonderful as Lois Lane. She has great chemistry with Cavill that hopefully will be mined more in the sequel.

  43. chupchup says:

    She sort of looks like Jessica Rabbit here

  44. Bijlee says:

    Oh my god people! It doesn’t matter where you come from we are allllll screwed up in some way. I eat my feelings, my sister sleeps her problems,my brother doesn’t speak, and one of the only childs (girl) I know is a douche while the other (a girl) is sweet. It does not matter. You will be an ahole sometimes, you will be a sweetheart others, you WILL have family drama, family heartbreak and laughter. It’s human nature. Why is this such a heated argument?

    Also lemme just say social science is not a hard science meaning you can’t prove anything you can only find correlations. So all the papers in the world cant prove its true one way or the other. And correlation does not imply causality. But then again I’m a Stem major and feel incredible superiority towards the soft sciences.

  45. Bijlee says:

    Also Amy has an adorable daughter! Sooo cute and pretty like her mom.

  46. Nerd Alert says:

    Colorado-raised? STATE SISTERS!

    Ok now that that’s out of the way…I just can’t work up enough energy to participate in this argument. I plan on having ZERO children, so I’ve gotten plenty of narrow-minded opinions on the best use of a uterus as is.

  47. mercyme says:

    That’s cool. It sounds like she is being honest with herself about what she wants and thinks she can handle, especially with her career. I know she talked about how hard it was to lose the baby weight and the pressure on actresses to be thin.

    Maybe her relationship isn’t stable, but they’ve been together a long time. It could be they really like what they have and feel another child might change things too much.

    My best friend is an only child. She always wished she had a sibling, especially when her parents split and she became her mother’s only support, but she has close friends to vent to and offer support. Often friends become more like family than your blood relatives, anyway.

  48. Abby says:

    I have one child. It’s amazing how many people, related, strangers, male and female, give me their opinion on having an only child. It’s an opinion that’s right up there with breast feeding, abortion, religion, and politics, i.e., mind your own business and I’ll mind mine.

  49. Lacy says:

    Gosh, I can’t imagine what people would say if she wanted no children at all. I’m in that club, and the judgement I receive is stupid. How would they like it if I judged their skills as a parent? Everyone should mind their own business. Maybe if eveyone paid more attention to their own lives, we would have less screwed up people on this planet.

    • Nerd Alert says:

      Lacy, you make too much sense (and we may have the same name!). I, too, decided not to have kids and people don’t find it the least bit inappropriate to lecture me about it. Definitely gives you a perspective the mommy brigade doesn’t have.

  50. aang says:

    I have two, close enough in age, (2.5 years) that they played together very well as children but far enough apart that they do not fight as teens. They amused one another so my husband and I had some time to ourselves. Having a sibling teaches you how to put up with other people and compromise. The only children I know tend to be a bit inflexible. But I also know some people who were down right traumatized by their siblings. In the end it is what it is. I do like the thought of them being there for one another when they bury their last surviving parent.

  51. Erin says:

    I have an only child and I feel like I have to defend my choice all the time. Some people say that my child is missing out on an important part of life. Couldn’t you just as easily say that a child without a father is missing out on an important part of life? or a child without a dog. or a child without living grandparents. The world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same.

  52. Camille (TheOriginal) says:

    I have one child and I have no desire at all for more. I get sick of people asking/telling me I should have more. People really should mind their own business when it comes to how many children people choose to have or not have.

    • m says:

      I’m an only child and I find that many parents of one ask for my opinion regarding how I felt growing up.

      It is like they want their choice validated. Which I happily do. But it always makes me a little sad that people feel that they have to justify wanting (or being able to have) “only” one child.

  53. Lisa says:

    It’s a personal matter wether you want to have more then one. It doesn’t particularly bother me either way. Although I’ll be honest in my observations that an only child easily gets used to having all the attention that he/she can act very babyish even at age 5 and older. They usually have to have constant adult interaction at home for the natural reason that they’re lonely and want someone to play with. When other playmates or cousins do come over the kid has a very difficult time sharing toys or being in a situation where it’s not all about him/her. Of course this can also depend on what personality the child has and the method of parenting being implemented. Ironically the children that are an “only child” that I do know more often then not ask their mom for a baby brother or sister. The upside I’ve seen to being an only child is that the kid gets a better set up for the future and the parents are able to give him their undivided focus.

    On the hand having more then one means the parents attention is divided and the child could easily feel left out at some stage in the game. Usually responsibility is entrusted in their care at a younger age and they are propelled to look out for their siblings which can sometimes take away from their own interests.
    There is also usually one dominant kid in a big family who ends up getting more of the attention and that’s always annoying to see. From my own experience being a middle child in a large family I grew up to think of others from a very young age and sharing responsibility and possessions is a natural habit to me now. I sometimes fought with my sisters but now we are literally the best of friends and I can’t see my life without them. We all have a good relationship with my parents and when we have get togethers the house is filled with laughter and talking (and of course the occasional debate) I always thought giving my child a sibling was like giving him/her a gift. I totally understand if all parents don’t see it like this. This is just my perspective and like I said it could go both ways.

    As far as kids acting entitled and selfish that is something I’ve seen more and more these days and definitely doesn’t only effect an only child (although the chances might be higher in the case of an only child. But like I mentioned earlier it does really come down to the child’s personalty and the how the parents parent the child) A well mannered, thoughtful and loving individual is never guaranteed to anyone and I would think hard work would have to be implemented on the parents part in either situation, This is just my two cents.

    • Lucy says:

      I have no siblings. I had a divorced abusive workaholic mother who resented my existence and ignored and neglected me, wasn’t even around much. When she was around, I learned that she wouldn’t yell at me if I just left her to herself. I wasn’t lonely because I used my MIND and my imagination to entertain myself. I did not watch much TV. (I do now!) I made up games, I wrote stories and songs, I drew, I dreamed, I was entrepreneurial, I was self-directed. I basically raised myself. I had to fill the void of attention I was NOT getting, albeit, often in ways that forced me to have too much responsibility for a person so young. People often said I was a “little adult” at the time, mature for my age; I really didn’t get the chance to just be a kid. I was a responsible, independent, well-behaved kid. I wish I’d had a complete set of well-adjusted loving parents, or at least one such parent, waaaay more than I wish for siblings.

      THANK GOD FOR MUSIC! Music was my best friend. The arts saved me. But, I digress.

      You may be surprised to learn that a mother of 6, and another mother of 4, who expected me to be selfish and spoiled just because of my sibling count was stunned to find, upon getting to know me, that instead I am warm and caring and not selfish, am respectful and considerate of others, and am the farthest thing from a spoiled brat there could be. (SHOCKER.) I simply have my compass set on the Golden Rule. I live by a code of honor of living honestly from my heart and treating people with the consideration I would want them to give me. I don’t ask of others that which I would not give or do myself.

      While it has been gratifying to live by example and prove wrong those ignorant and short-sighted expectations, people have asked me how I got to be so well-adjusted, so NOT bratty or spoiled. While I think they mean well, it feels more like I’ve disappointed them because the reality challenges their belief system, their expectations. Does it take more effort to be open-minded or closed-minded?

      Maybe having siblings would have taught me that I could slack off, tease, or otherwise act out, but what is the point of that? I’ve never been interested in playing the emotional games so many siblings play. It does (still) take more of an effort for me to socialize, to navigate people’s need to judge or manipulate others in real life.

      I enjoy both solitude AND connection. It’s just a matter of getting the right amount of each. I enjoy sharing because it connects us and builds self-esteem and community.

      Interestingly, my significant other and one of his sisters are the only 2 out of 6 kids in their family who don’t stand for any sibling drama. They are still subject to it, but they do not participate in it. Their less well-adjusted sibs stay stuck in their patterns both in and out of the nest.

      Here’s to less drama and less stigma!

  54. the original liv says:

    I can relate to both – only child and siblings. My sister and I are 10 years apart, so for the first 10 years of my life, I was an only child. It was never a lonely childhood, cause I grew up with my cousins (one is four months younger than me and another is six months younger). My parents also come from big families, my dad is the youngest of six and my mom is the smack dab in the middle of five, so I grew up with a large extended family. It wasn’t a lonely childhood at all. Although, I do admit to being spoiled, I don’t think that that is because I was an only child – and yes, my sister is also spoiled. But I was always good at sharing, in fact I’m often accused of being too nice. I loved being an only child and I love having a sibling. There’s pros and cons to each.

    Anyway, I agree that just because you have siblings, it doesn’t mean they will help out with ill parents. For example, my mom has four siblings (three of which are still living), and she mainly takes care of my grandparents. In fact, because my mom is a workaholic, I’m actually the one who takes my grandparents to the doctors, pick up their medication, prepare their food, do their laundry, and run other errands for them. Another example, my aunt had to undergo an operation to remove a tumor. So she has to be hospitalized for a couple days. She didn’t want to stay at the hospital by herself, but her daughter, couldn’t get time off of work to be with her, and her son (her favorite by the way) was off vacationing with the jet set crowd, so I stayed with my aunt at the hospital during the day and when my cousin got off of work, I would babysit her daughter while she stayed with my aunt at the hospital.

    • Christin says:

      To you, your mom and all the others who are helping ill relatives – You will have the gift of a clear conscience. One of my older co-workers recently observed that the people who usually have the most difficulty dealing with the loss of a close relative are those who did the least while they were alive (*if* they have any conscience, that is).

  55. Tinker says:

    I’m 27 and most of my high school friends have recently become mothers. I’m not sure it’s for me yet. Time will tell. I’ve been vocal about and it amazes me how everyone seems to think I’ll outgrow it

  56. katspeakz says:

    My mom is an only child and she always wanted siblings so I’m one of four. My dad always half jokingly said not to marry an only child. I didn’t listen. My husband always wanted siblings. We have two babes and if I were open to a third he’d be here in fifteen minutes to get started. ;)

    I found out what my dad meant though. It isn’t that my mom and husband aren’t perfectly normal, well balanced people. It’s that their parents have a lot of time and (retired) energy to focus on our life. My inlaws were retired and living at the beach when I got pregnant with my first. They bought a house 20 minutes away from us (we lived in a different state) while I was literally giving birth. When we moved across the country for a job last summer, they listed their house the day after we listed ours and followed us to a state they’d never even visited before.

    So if someone gives you the side eye if you say that you did the one and done route, they might just be hoping you have enough hobbies to occupy yourself when you retire so you don’t become *those* people. :)

    Disclaimer: free babysitting is awesome.

  57. Paige says:

    My grandmother had four children. Two sons and two daughters. My grandmother became ill with uterine cancer and diabetes earlier this year. Guess what? out of my grandmama’s four children the only one willing to take care of her now is my mom. The rest are worthless.So siblings do not help eachother. I just say karma will come back to bite them. My mom is the oldest and the most independent. My gran didn’t expect the rest of her children to have any responsibilities and she made them weak and lazy.When I have children someday I want two, I don’t intend to raise lazy children.

    • the original liv says:

      My grandparents split their time between my parents house in cali and their house in “the old country”. So while they are here, my mom (or me) do everything for them. My aunt and cousins live about an hour away, so they would only visit for a few hours every now and then. And even though my aunt has been retired since 35 and my mom still works (she’s a workaholic), my grandparents stay with my mom. My grandpa is pretty easy going, he doesn’t really care about anything. My grandma on the other hand, loves to play favorites – and my mom, my sister, and I are definitely not on top of that list, even though we’re the ones doing everything for her. My grandma’s two favorites grandchildren, A & S, never visit her or call – and if they do, all they want from her is money. It’s annoying. All my grandma does is praise them and ask after them like everyday.

      • Paige says:

        It’s also like that with my gran. She has her favorites and those are the ones that don’t do anything for her.It pisses me off to see my gran talk down to my mom when she’s trying the best she can to help her. My mom has come to the conclusion she will never be the favorite but she will stick by her mom because she loves her. She may not love her ways but she sticks by her
        I don’t’ know if I will ever be as strong as my mom

  58. veryconfusedgirl says:

    I respect Amy for her choice, if her and her partner are happy with their choice then it isn’t anyone’s business how many kids they choose to have and shouldnt be made to feel guilty for not having more children. I’m the eldest of us five siblings, I have a very good relationship with them all however the favouritism my mum has constantly shown my sister growing up, the lack of support, constant put downs and controlling behaviour, really affects my relationship with her and has created issues for us all. All five of us have a better relationship with our father. My parents come from large families. Personally, I feel like only having enough children some point in the future (maybe 3, mind you I’ll be blessed to even have 1) where I can manage to spend enough time with them all equally, don’t pick favourites that I neglect the rest, support them and make them feel good about themselves instead of putting them down. I don’t want to have children or get married just yet because I have issues I need to deal with, I’m too selfish (is that a bad thing?) and the controlling aspect of living under in laws puts me off it too to a degree (I can’t stand the controlling nature of my mother how will I stand my future MIL if she is like my mother).

  59. mimi says:

    I like her hair, the waves and all.
    The dress is beautiful and the styling is lovely.

    Good for her for understanding what she can and cannot do properly.

    No one knows and it’s nobody’s business why.
    They might be having problems and she doesn’t want to bring another child into an unstable situation.

    Perhaps she realized that she doesn’t have enough energy to be a devoted mother for 2 at her age, and perhaps she doesn’t have enough of a support system (family members who help out, a partner involved and caring enough…).
    I can think of many very very good reasons not to have another child under certain situations and good for her for not being selfish and having another child that will be neglected or would not be given and cared for as much as should or not bringing in a child to instability and problematic relationship.

    Good for her for being a responsible mother to make sure she can give enough (time, energy and emotional support) to her one child.

  60. Jade says:

    Personally my 2 so called siblings discourage me from having kids. It’s bad enough that I seem to be the only one spending resources and time on my parents. Also my husband was raised by a single parent so we doubt we can handle any stretching especially as all 3 get older. Yes it makes me sad sometimes that I am too scared to have kids. Also Singapore has a very high standard of living and our highly-paid politicians seem not to be able to adopt our suggestions to make having kids less expensive (our birth rate is second lowest in the world I think). That being said, I agree that sometimes we are closer to friends than family. I am that way and I’m not close to my extended family either. So yea being an only kid ain’t that bad lol. We are humans! We can learn to socialize.

  61. Mandy says:

    I only have one child and plan on keeping it that way. It is extremely annoying when people keep telling me that I need to “give my daughter a brother or sister”. It’s my body, my family and my business!

  62. Anastasia says:

    My husband and I intentionally had one child 18 years ago. She is a happy, outgoing, well-adjusted adult who is headed off to university in August.

    She’s extremely independent, well-spoken, and comfortable in almost any social situation. She’s far from spoiled, materially or behaviorally.

    I don’t see any down side to this. Neither does my husband. Neither does she. She’s often expressed being happy to be an only.

    The only good reason to have a/another child is because you truly want another child to love and raise. Not to have an extra one to take care of you when you’re old. Not to give the first one a buddy. Not because people expect you to have one/have another. We were truly happy and tickled pink to raise our daughter and felt no emotional need to replicate the experience.

    Plus there have always been more resources available for our one. Once through diapers. One in a Montessori preschool. One set of braces. One to put through college. One who needed our time and attention. Manageable. Easy.

    Everyone gets to make their own family planning choices and it’s really none of anyone else’s business.

  63. Andrea says:

    I am an only child and my father is also an only child. I am 32 and have PCOS, so the idea of having a child naturally for me seems slim, given I couldn’t afford to have a child in the forseeable future nor do I want one atm. If I change my mind, I plan to adopt and have a 3rd only child. Its what I know and connect with. My father and I are a lot like and it has truly bonded us. My mother on the other hand was abusive (physically and verbally) and neglectful (yet she was a stay-at-home mom, how ironic eh?) So much for some of your assumptions that an only child gets all the attention. I was dying for it from my mom and never got it. She treated me like a nuisance, a pest. Thus, I like being alone now, I enjoy reading books since that was what I started to do to get out of my mom’s way as a kid. My parents don’t like kids being kids so I was treated as a mini adult as far back as I can remember. I was smart throughout school(went to Catholic school), got made fun of for it, and was thought of as odd. As an adult though, I don’t have debt, no student loans, and my parents retired at 55 for mom and 65 for dad and are enjoying their retirement years with loads of money to spare. I think they would have been miserable to have had more than one child and I wouldn’t have wanted them to experience such abuse. At 32, I truly don’t ache for a sibling. Most of my friends my age fight with their siblings like mad or have very distant relationships with them (I also am friends with a few fellow only children too).I don’t see any benefit it would have unless I somehow “lucked out” on having a close relationship with a sibling and given I am only close to one parent (my dad) and have a very distant relationship with my mom, I’d say my odds wouldn’t have been GREAT. Mom btw does not want me to take care of her when she gets old, she believes in being independent, so given our sketchy relationship, if she needs extra care, she will be going in a home. Given that she is possessive of Dad, she would rather die than see me take care of dad over her, so their end of life care is already decided on thanks to her. Sick I know, but true.

  64. Norman says:

    Amy Adams, 38 and damn hot, you go AA!