Eva Mendes, 39, ‘told Ryan Gosling that she wants to be engaged by 40′

Yesterday, LaineyGossip had a good “Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling are still together” update – go here to see. Apparently, Ryan has wrapped on his directorial debut, How To Catch a Monster, and Eva and Ryan are still hanging out in Detroit (where the movie was filmed), and some fans got some sneaky photos of them together. So, Ryan and Eva have been together for two years, which is a lot longer than I thought it would last. I also didn’t expect them to spend the last year together, with so little drama. There have been no pregnancy announcement, no engagement announcements, no elopements, no major fights (that were made public), no drama for the haters to cling to. It’s almost like they’re a solid couple in a serious relationship, and like they’re taking their time. WTH? Well, the tabloids keep trying to make something happen, so this week Star Mag says that Eva gave Ryan an engagement “ultimatum” but that he was already planning on proposing anyway.

Ryan Gosling may be busy directing How to Catch a Monster, but his girlfriend Eva Mendes is busy playing How To Catch a Husband! Since giving Ryan, 32, an ultimatum shortly after her 39th birthday in March, Eva could finally get her wish.

“Eva told Ryan that she wants to be engaged by the time she’s 40,” dishes a close pal. “But Ryan was already planning a proposal. He’s been in secret talks with ring designer Neil Lane.”

And while Eva was making commitment demands, Ryan planned a romantic getaway for the two once their film wraps.

“Ryan tricked her into believing the trip is to celebrate the movie,” continues the source. “Eva is completely clueless.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Completely clueless… unless she reads Star! Completely clueless… unless she was the one to leak this story. Whether or not any part of this story is true, I have no idea. But what I’d like to talk about is the “plan” or the “ultimatum”. I really am curious – does this kind of ultimatum work on men? Because I think that for most women, this kind of ultimatum would backfire. It would only work on a man if he already adored you and wanted to marry you and just needed that final “push”. And even then, I don’t think those men would appreciate an engagement ultimatum.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

 

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93 Responses to “Eva Mendes, 39, ‘told Ryan Gosling that she wants to be engaged by 40′”

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  1. Esmom says:

    Before I even read the post I thought of the only ultimatum story I know. A friend met a woman online and on their first date, which was going extremely well, she said if they weren’t engaged in six months she’d dump him no matter what. She had a timeline and wasn’t going to let anything hold her up (she was 33 at the time, my friend was 5 years younger).

    I remember being sort of scared for him but six months later he proposed and 15 years and 3 kids later they are still going strong.

    • Ellie says:

      Thanks for sharing that, that’s a pretty crazy thing to say on the first date! So surprising that it worked out—that he not only did propose, and also that they’re still together. Good for them!

      Not the most romantic “how we got engaged” story to tell though, but hopefully he has a cute story of how he did it that they can tell instead.

    • Trillian says:

      Oh wow. If someone said that to me on a first date there definitely wouldn’t be a second …

    • CG says:

      I know someone who did that too. A girl I went to college with told a guy on their first date that if they weren’t engaged within a year, she was moving on. He did propose, I think on their one-year anniversary. Dunno if they’re still together though. But yeah, if someone told me that on the first date, I’d run away screaming!

    • tealily says:

      I had a first date once where the guy told me that we was ready to put a ring on a girl’s finger (maybe even that he had a ring? It was so long ago, I can’t quite remember). It just felt so outside of the conversation we were actually having… I mean, we had JUST met. I said thanks but no thanks to a second date.

      I guess it’s good to hear that someone is thinking about marriage or just wants to date, but it seems like there has to be a way to have this conversation that doesn’t make the other person feel like they are interchangeable with any other person they might be dating.

    • Esmom says:

      @Ellie, Yes I definitely thought it was kinda crazy. She is a very assertive person and somehow delivered her ultimatum in a way that seemed bold and confident rather than borderline psychotic, which is why I think he didn’t run screaming after or during that first date.

      @tealily, I totally get what you’re saying…an ultimatum could make it seem like you’ll settle for anyone as long as they put a ring on it. I had a friend like that, too, he was so desperate to settle down that he always moved way too fast and scared away everyone he ever dated. Until he finally relaxed.

    • myrealitie says:

      There is a huge difference between posing an ultimatum to a PARTICULAR man regarding HIS making a proposal RIGHT NOW or in SIX MONTHS and letting a new guy know that she won’t wait longer than x time for ANY man. The former is a classic ultimatum, reeks of desperation, and won’t work. The latter is simply the woman communicating some kind of personal standard to a man who she is not yet involved with; it’s not personal and it’s the opposite of desperate.

  2. TheOriginalKitten says:

    It DOES work on some men. I’ve seen it work on some of my close guy friends but these are guys that typically require being told what to do, if that makes any sense.

    Personally, ultimatums are deal-breakers for me.

    On another note, Gosling was so phenomenal in The Place Beyond The Pines. What a special kind of actor he is…

    • Kate says:

      Yeah, there are some guys who need to be told what to do. My friend, at age 24, gave her boyfriend an ultimatum after almost ten years together — shit or get off the pot. He proposed, they’re happy. And even though she IS bossy (really bossy), he needs it. She got him his first job, makes most of the decisions. He likes it. I’m pretty sure he’d be living in his parents basement if it wasn’t for her.

    • Talie says:

      I have an acquaintance who is currently doing this… she broke up with her bf out of the blue and issued the ultimatum. He’s apparently miserable and she thinks it’s only a matter of time…we’ll see…

    • NYC_girl says:

      I don’t care about any of their relationship BS, I’m just looking at that first pic of him and he is H O T. My girlfriend and I sit through every movie he’s in, shitty or otherwise. He was excellent in “Half Nelson” and “Lars.”

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Have you seen The Place Beyond The Pines?

        …cuz he’s f*cking phenomenal in it.

        Eva’s in it too but you can just block her out with your hand if you’d like.

      • NYC_girl says:

        We did see that. It was good. I didn’t think she was that good though, I felt she was stiff and her acting range was pretty slim. Was hoping “Gangster Squad” was going to be better than it was.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I felt the same way. I tried to be as objective as possible but she just wilted on-screen compared to Gosling.

        She’s not the worst actress I’ve ever seen, she just lacks the screen presence required to hold her own next to great actors.

        FTR, Half Neslon was Gosling’s sexiest role to date, IMO. I’ve seen that movie an embarrassing number of times.

      • NYC_girl says:

        “Lars” was excellent and I was very moved by it. I thought he was damn sexy in “Half Nelson” even though he was a crackhead. LOL! I always thought he was a good actor. “Drive” was good too, although I had my eyes covered for many of the scenes.

      • gogoGorilla says:

        I don’t normally get the hype about him (I might be biased from all the “Hey Girl” memes, though), but I agree he looks fantastic in that pic above.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Lars was solid.

        @Gogo-I hate that his stupid off-screen persona has eclipsed his talent. People think he really IS that dumb Hey Girl meme.

        It sucks because many of us who have followed his career since the beginning see what an amazing actor he is, but people developed a hate-on for him before even seeing one of his movies.

        One of the things I love about his acting style is his ability to go from goofy, charming boy-next-door type to aggressive violent monster in an incredibly convincing way. The best directors (like Refn, Fleck and Cianfrance) see that in him and exploit it for their movies, like Drive, Blue Valentine, The Place Beyond The Pines, etc. He’s got something really special IMO.

      • JJ says:

        He hasn’t done anything interesting since Drive and his acting has become very lazy and lame. He is a just a Disney try-hard-boy, meh!

      • Becky1 says:

        I think he’s an underrated actor. He’s a good looking dude and that’s what a lot of people tend to focus on first rather than his talent. I thought he was awesome in “Blue Valentine” and I thought he was the best part of “Crazy, Stupid, Love” (which was otherwise kind of mediocre IMO).

      • Mazunte says:

        Gosling’s crackhead in “Half Nelson” is one of my favorite performances ever, if not the favorite. He made that character so endearing and sexy at the same time! His luke in TPBP was awesome too. Great movie. I still think he is one the finest and most interesting and unique actors at the moment.

    • lana86 says:

      i wonder what these women do if ultimatum doesnt work? do they really have the guts to leave? or they just admit bluff and stay?)

      • Andrea says:

        Exactly. I won’t say I gave my ex-boyfriend or my future husband an ultimatum but I was clear about what I wanted. If he wasn’t willing to get engaged, I wasn’t going to stick around and wait for him. After I ditched the first guy I met my husband. Clear expectations and communication is key. It’s not about ultimatums.

      • Ange says:

        I know a woman who issued…. 3 (I think) ultimatums to her boyfriend over the course of 7 years. Nothing happened and she stayed. They’re engaged now and not as the result of an ultimatum but I know for a fact he’s had some pretty serious doubts.

  3. naelean says:

    First, Eva has always been really vocal about NOT wanting to get married. Just because she has been in a relationship for a while doesn’t mean she has changed her stance on that.

    But ultimatums…. No guy that I would ever date would respond well to someone trying to manipulate an issue –any issue– by force.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I think there’s a fine line. Both parties have a right to know where the relationship is going in the other person’s mind and what their intentions are for the future. However, if one person states that they are simply not ready to marry and the other one wants to, the one who wants to has to decide whether they can live with that or they need to move on with their life. I think it’s a mistake to try to manipulate someone into making a commitment when they’re not ready.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      I remember seeing her on “Chelsea Lately” and they both went on and on about not wanting to be married. I remember thinking that neither one had probably ever been asked.

  4. mkyarwood says:

    Not really buying it. She doesn’t seem that insecure to me, and I still think their relationship is a solid one. As an aside tho, has it only been 2 years!?

  5. brin says:

    He should tell her he wants to be single by forty.

  6. Mrs. Darcy says:

    She’s kind of a psycho but I love her sunnies. The Gosling girl network is going to go into meltdown if/when he gets married.

    • yolo112 says:

      Hummm…idk about that. He seems to have lost legions of ‘hey girls’ because of this relationship with Eva “bitch face, turban of doom” Mendes and his douchery ways. Gone are the days of Noah and people are NOT happy about it. His uber violent, barely speaking, avantgarde roles aren’t keeping his romantical meme’s very happy.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        Ah, I guess I am out of touch with the Gosling girls. I though alot of his fan base was from his darker indie stuff too though? (I know I got into him after Lars and the Real Girl). I knew Eva was not a popular match for him though, I guess some people will never be happy until he gets back with Rachel McAdams (who is single again?:-0). I don’t honestly see the Eva thing going the distance but he seems into her so who knows…

      • nancy says:

        Yeah, I think his fanbase may have shrunk. He’s been doing the same roles over and over again, and barely says lines anymore. This thing with Eva doesn’t help either. After the whole jealous boyfriend thing came out a while ago about him almost beating someone up for calling Eva “baby” did him in for me. He’s just coming off like a douche now. Not attractive.

      • lili says:

        He has several fan bases I think, the women who loved The notebook, the fan boys who loved Drive, fans of his early indie films, the “hey girls” who loved CSL more than anything else it seems.
        Some will go away of course

  7. Dot says:

    This is like the second or third “ultimatum” story involving these two, am I right?

  8. Paloma says:

    She is very pretty. Just thought I would put that out there. She seems to be a nice person, very low key.

  9. Leah says:

    I didnt really understand them as a couple, until i read an interview with her recently. I think she wants to do legit work. I am not sure she is the most talented actress but she is working with some great directors recently. I think thats part of her attraction to ryan. He is such a good actor and he is always chosen his projects with such care to carve out this interesting career.

  10. Shelley says:

    I am still waiting for him to dump her. Gosling belongs with me. That is all.

  11. lady_luck says:

    An ultimatum very rarely works, and usually scares a man off. Sure, there are some exceptions to the rule, but just because of those few exceptions doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea!

    The fact that you personally would have to push for an ultimatum in the first place spells problems in the relationship, and it doesn’t feel good to have to be so naggy and pushy about it all. I personally say if he hasn’t proposed after a year or two, he probably isn’t as keen as mustard.

    • iris says:

      I agree. If he hasn’t proposed by now, chances are he wasn’t planning on it. I believe he proposed to Rachel fairly early in their relationship, if I remember correctly. It’s possible Eva is just a filler until he finds somebody he’s crazier about. I could be wrong though. I don’t know either of them.

  12. guest says:

    I don’t care about either but why are tabloids constantly writing that woman have to give ultimatums for men to marry them or that they desperate to marry. Wasn’t Eva with a guy for 10+ yrs before Ryan? Being with someone that long and not taking the plunge doesn’t sound like someone who is desperate to marry.

  13. Cary says:

    It works, but…then you’re stuck with the man. I did it and my friend did it and we both wound up in crappy marriages. My advice: if you have to strongarm the guy into proposing, he’s probably not someone you want to marry.

  14. Hoya_chick says:

    How long has she been ’39′…..I’ll wait. I wouldn’t want some to propose toe because I told them to. That’s just weird. I also don’t plan on getting married but I could see my self having a long term fiancé.

  15. renee says:

    I love Eva! and her Turban of Doom”
    Shutting down Hey Girls since 2011.

  16. Bird says:

    Hey Girl, good luck with your ultimatum….

  17. Lipsy says:

    Lainey’s article refers to her blind months back:

    http://www.laineygossip.com/He-wants–she-doesnt-blind-riddle/25546

    ‘And, since Eva was seen playing with a baby at Starbucks, that’ll probably be thrown in there too. What, has she changed her mind?’

    So that blind seems to fit Ryan and Eva? He’s more willing, she’s not, due to her medical past… her wiki says she had some issues in the past. Anyway, just pointing it out!

  18. Rachel says:

    Why does it have to be an ultimatum? And why should she have to wait for him to propose? If you’re in a relationship with someone, what’s wrong with a woman saying “I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?” Don’t issue ultimatums, ladies. Just ask the question.

  19. Obvious says:

    I finally issued my bf the ultimatum. But our 9th anniversary is in just over a month and he’s looking at getting his doctorate. And i told him that i love him and i support him, but i’m not putting my life on hold yet again for this. either we get married and do it together or he has to do it alone. he agreed with me, so we’ll see what happens…

  20. tealily says:

    Ultimatums at the beginning of a relationship seem crazy… but I think a little nudge four or five years on if the ring hasn’t happened yet may not be a bad idea. If a guy’s going to dump you over that at that point of the relationship, he was never going to marry you.

    • Emma says:

      Ughhh.. hopefully society can move past this men only doing the proposing. I dont like the ideas of engagement rings.. I dont belong to anyone and dont need to show it. Or if they must, the man should get a present too for the engagement.

  21. linlin says:

    Why not just propose yourself? Also, I don’t know if its really true (of course we never can with gossip), because for me it just seems like they will always write that a female celebrity (especially if she’s over 30) wants to get married and have kids, never that maybe she really doesn’t.

  22. Jules says:

    They just don’t work together, at least to me.
    Just like Scarlett Johansen and Ryan Reynolds. Nope.

  23. SmokeyBlues says:

    I have a friend who has been with her guy for four years, has his baby, considering having another. She gave him an ultimatum about getting married and all I could think was, if he wanted to marry you he would have proposed already. Now he’s just going to do it for the kid, and it will be an unhappy marriage. I would hate to feel that I had forced my man into proposing, I would never feel secure in my marriage.

  24. may says:

    Eva and her relentless PR team again.

  25. kara says:

    There’s been marriage and baby rumours about these two since the very beginning. I still feel like PR is a big part of these two. I don’t buy them as a couple. I never did. If they are legit. they hide their affection for each other very well. They look so cold and stiff together.

  26. marlene says:

    Ultimatums wouldn’t work on a guy like Ryan. If my intuition is correct, he’s controlling and likes to be the one in charge.

  27. Decloo says:

    Men love the ultimatum as long as they were planning to propose anyway. Then they can tell all their friends about it and make it look like they really wanted to be wild bachelors while what they wanted all along was for a woman to look after them.

  28. lylaooo says:

    ahh!! she reeally needs to get rid of the turbans !!! i canpt take it anymore …he deserves to be with a diferent tipe of woman…

    maybe she curse him thats why she uses the turbans!

  29. Kristen says:

    I think most couples kind of decide together. I know with my husband and I, we casually talked about where and when we saw things going. He knew I wanted to get engaged, and when he was ready he popped the question. There wasn’t an ultimatum, but its fair for people to know what their partner is thinking/wanting, and its fair to end a relationship if its not headed in a mutually desirable direction. If Eva really wants to get married, she should put it on the table– as a discussion, not necessarily an ultimatum.

  30. cat says:

    Ah, the good old passive aggressive approach of the American woman – ultimatum for engagement. Happens a lot.

  31. Meaghan says:

    I hate her stupid hair scarf she always wears.

  32. dread pirate cuervo says:

    I began dating my husband while he was going through a nasty divorce (nothing to do with me). He was obviously not looking to get hitched right away but we did move in together about a year later. He would say he wasn’t going to consider remarriage until he recovered financially & I let him know I wasn’t interested in being his (or any guy’s) girlfriend 20 years down the line. I told him about the admittedly arbitrary 3 year rule. I was completely & utterly shocked when he proposed after 2 1/2 years together. I figured it would be closer to the 5 year mark.
    So I don’t see anything wrong with her ultimatum. She knows what she wants & if he’s not on the same page, better call it off sooner rather than later.

  33. Lotta says:

    When I meet my husband we said we would have kids after three years. When the time was up he said let’s wait for another two years. Within an hour I had made an ultimatum that it should happen within two months, one month later was pregnant. Two kids after I wanted to get married, same thing. Now we are happily married with three kids.

  34. Monica says:

    Oh please, I think that’s how majority of couples end up getting married. Most of my girlfriends who are married nagged their then boyfriends to propose – sometimes for years, if they started dating in their teens, so to get some peace – they finally did propose.

    Even Barack Obama, when describing how he “proposed” said that Michelle was busy mouthing off yet again on how she wants to be married and start a family, when he pulled out a ring and said “here, will this shut you up?” That’s how it’s done, my dear..

  35. Ann says:

    Why do women want to get married so badly? Almost every married woman I know is miserable!

    • Thora says:

      That’s because most people want to bag someone so they can settle into a boring routine with them and that’s the fatal mistake. My advice is that once you get into a relationship or married keep partying and living with the same sense of freedom you did when you were single. Plus never think you have to stay with someone for ever. If you stop enjoying the relationship end it. All that for ever after and for better or worse BS is the stuff of movies and pop songs AKA fairytales.

    • Rialto says:

      He seems the marrying type, but he’s also picky, which is good. Not like people who just jump on the first person that comes by.

      Eva seemed the good time girl for a while there until she met Ryan. While I loved him with Rachel, something about Eva and Ryan work really well. I can see elopement more than big wedding. His fans can be freakishly insane.

  36. it's PR says:

    This couple always has such silly stories written about them. PR

  37. Anna says:

    I’m too lazy to check how many of these rumored Neil Lane engagements actually came about, although the rumored Twilight engagement obviously did not.

  38. Lexi says:

    Hopefully if they do get married, it wouldnt be just anothe hollywood marriage sham!!!

  39. Renee says:

    I dated a guy for 3 years who wouldn’t commit to marriage. So I dumped him. On my first date with my now husband I apparently told him that I would never wait again. One year would be my limit. He proposed 10 months later and we are now coming up on our first anniversary. He’s a sweetheart and I’m so happy I dumped the douche. Who BTW spent a year trying to get me back even though he knew I had no interest in him any longer. Who’s sorry now???

    • lady_luck says:

      @Renee. Congrats! And you clearly took the correct path. It never ceases to amaze me how many stories there are like this. I stand by my point that if he hasn’t proposed BY HIS OWN VIOLATION within the first few years, he is unlikely, or if he is “pushed” into it, it won’t last long. If that is what you want in life, find somebody who wants to, and who makes it crystal clear usually within the first year he wants you in that way. As for those new age bunnies (and mostly men) on here suggesting SHE propose, seriously you need to get real. A woman has, and should have her pride. No woman feels good about being the one to suggest or push for committment if it ain’t happening on it’s own natural merit.

  40. Spring Season says:

    I feel there is nothing wrong with letting a guy you just started dating, I would say 2nd or 3rd date to make sure you even like the guy, know what your expectations are. I wish somebody of wisdom had a told me when I was younger that if a man loves you, it won’t take him 2+ years to propose. Most men know if that woman will be his wife when he meets her and those guys will propose usually less than a year after dating. I give an exception for college students because you’re in school, 2+ years not a big deal when you’re in school.

    What I find happens after so many years the guy strings you along and settles for who he’s with because they feel noone better has come along and she stuck with me this long, I’ll go ahead and marry her. Me at this time in my life I want to be the guys FIRST choice, not a consolation prize.
    I wasted time dating a guy for to long almost a marriage and knew it was over but I chose to stay because I thought he would come around since we had know each other gor so long, not! I broke it off and it was hard but I got through it. Next guy I will tell him 6 months no ring, moving on.

  41. Brionne says:

    I don’t get what’s so attractive about this dude. His eyes are way too close together and he has a gomer pyle chin. What gives? What’s so great about this guy?