This post should have happened yesterday, but I had some not-so-fun computer issues that took me away from the pressing issue of the Tongue. Miley Cyrus has been up to no good lately (as usual), but I’m actually starting to worry about her. I truly believed that she was just chilling with her pot and molly, but now she is partying with Lindsay Lohan.
Yes Miley has taken up with the totally belligerent and “sober” Citibike enthusiast, Lindsay Lohan. Of course Lohan’s people have put out the word that she’s not drinking the wine, which is not believable by any stretch. As for Miley, she has been dancing on tables while chain smoking. Miley and Lindsay left a NYC club together on Sunday evening. Either Miley is drugging it up with Lindsay, or she just wants us to think that’s what’s happening. Either outcome is suspect.
Now on to actual Miley business. The head Smiler has been “Certified” by VEVO because five of her videos have reached the magical milestone of 100 million views apiece. Mostly “Wrecking Ball” and followed (not so closely) by “We Can’t Stop,” “Party in the U.S.A.,” “Can’t Be Tamed,” and “The Climb.” Miley sat down for an excitable interview about licking sledgehammers. Guess who talked her into it? No really … guess:
On her “Smilers” fans: “When I had this show that I did called ‘The Miley and Mandy Show,’ she would always call me Milers or Smilers, and it just kind of picked up. I said the other day ‘my fans are the best fans’ on Twitter, and everyone’s fans got really mad. But I don’t care because they actually are.”
: “For me, nudity has never been something that I’ve ever tripped about. I don’t really see it the way everyone else sees it. I’d rather be naked in front of people than cry in front of people because I don’t like showing weakness and that shows a lot of vulnerabilities.”
Uncle Terry’s direction: “[He said] ‘Look like you’re in love with [the sledgehammer], you’re really sad! I just started kissing it. I didn’t even know why. He was like, ‘Keep doing it! Keep doing it! Looks like you really are in love with this thing!’”
Someone tried to speak the truth: The production staff said: “You can’t lick that thing! There’s paint!” “[I said] ‘I don’ t care, I think this is actually going to be dope.’ So everything around just looks like I’m in love and holding on to whatever last little bit that there is, even if that’s what’s destroying the place. You’re holding onto that sledgehammer even if it’s what’s destroying everything around you.”
Now I have a very good idea of how Terry talks all of his models into getting gross and naked for him. He totally eggs them on, and they fall for it. Even Miley, who has enough pull in the industry to say “no,” did Terry’s bidding. Seriously. Terry told Miley to “look like she was in love” with a sledgehammer, and she thought it sounded perfectly reasonable. Now we know why she did such weird things in this photoshoot for Uncle Terry. Somehow Miley believes Uncle Terry makes women look strong, but she’s completely brainwashed. Or she’s willfully blind. Again … either option is suspect.
Look! It’s the Miley Statue of Liberty. Huddled masses twerking to break free.
Screencaps courtesy of VEVO/YouTube; photos courtesy of Miley Cyrus on Twitter