Rashida Jones cautions teens against ‘sultry, mouth open’ selfies

Rashida Jones

Rashida Jones did a new interview with Time magazine to promote Cuban Fury, which is a feel-good romcom (about guys and girls who just happen to dance) in limited release. Rashida’s also been in the news a lot for her outspoken manner of discussing young female celebrities. She started out by abrasively telling young starlets to “stop acting like wh-res.” Rashida has since eased up a bit and realized that she’ll convince no one by calling them names. She’s refined her message by telling girls not to invest in their looks.

Now Rashida is crusading against the sexy selfie. She lives her message too. Rashida poses the occasional selfie on Twitter (she has no Instagram account), but she’s never sexing it up. No strategically placed cleavage or gaping mouth in an attempt to look alluring for fans. Rashida talked about her motivation in speaking out to young girls. She has a sister who’s only 21 years old. Ahhh, now I understand. That’s a prime selfie-taking age. Thank goodness the internet wasn’t popular when I was 21. Here are some excerpts:

What’s up with her #elegantselfie Twitter tag? “It was kind of a joke that came out of a panel I did for Women in the World where we were talking about the hypersexualization of pop culture and girls. People were sharing that their teenage daughters, every picture they take is like this sultry, mouth-open picture – and we were exploring the idea of an ‘elegant selfie,” where it’s not sexual as a top-note, where it’s got other flavors to it, you know? You could smile!”

Why does she care so much about oversexualization? “I think it’s a generational thing. I think the impetus for me was I have a 21-year-old sister – and she’s a really good girl, she’s a smart, beautiful, soulful, funny girl – and I think just seeing it through the eyes of somebody I love who’s younger than me. There is this kind of blanket pressure to be a certain way, to be sexy in a certain way, to get the attention of men and also other women. I think I didn’t have that. I think about my teenage self and I was pretty awkward and a little overweight and definitely not sexy, and definitely never even attempted to be sexy. Thank God! Because if I had had that pressure I’m not sure I would have been as proficient with computers or read as much or gotten to know myself or developed a sense of humor. I don’t know if I would have done that, because there’s actually a correlation between spending time worrying about what you look like and how you could be appealing to guys and not developing other parts of yourself. I just think about it through my own personal experience and want better for younger girls.”

Where is the pressure coming from? “It’s the evolution, devolution, whatever, of American culture. There’s just more access and there’s more info. I think the biggest factor there is pr0n. Pr0n is so easily accessible to everybody. One of the psychologists I was on the panel with was saying she had a friend who was trying to do a study about young boys and the effect of pr0n on young boys, but they couldn’t find enough young men who hadn’t watched pr0n for the sample group. It’s totally rampant. Pr0n is fine for adults as entertainment, but your brain is still forming until you’re 26. Your ideas of love and romance and sex are being formed by the things that you watch at a super young age. We had girlie magazines and stuff like that, where you had to fill in the gaps, you had to use your imagination to make things sexy. There’s just nothing left to the imagination now, across the board.”

Maybe the internet will improve? “The internet is obviously a thriving thing. It just started; it’s the Wild West; it’s not self-regulating; it’s not regulated from the outside. Maybe at some point it will self-correct. It’s unfortunate, but maybe at some point there will be enough damage where we’ll realize, you know what, that’s actually not something I’m interested in – in the way that now people are starting to do digital cleanses. I’m very cautiously optimistic. I don’t think it’s happening any time soon.”

[From Time]

At least Rashida is realistic in her conclusion. Nothing will change anytime soon. Girls will still make duckfaces into the camera and post it all to social media. Parents can and should monitor, but there’s nothing to stop young adults from posting images on the internet that they will one day regret.

Rashida’s thoughts on pr0n are interesting. She’s correct in that many of us grew up on YM and Teen magazine. Those mags had articles on how to kiss but never went into detail. Yet pr0n has always existed in some shape or form. Many of us can probably recall seeing a Playboy at home or at a friend’s house, right? The thought of my daugther stumbling onto pr0n on the internet is terrible. Parental controls can’t obliterate everything, especially not creeps like James Franco. *shudder*

Rashida Jones

Photos courtesy of WENN

 

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90 Responses to “Rashida Jones cautions teens against ‘sultry, mouth open’ selfies”

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  1. QQ says:

    It makes sense now that she is on this note fore a few months now, a little sister! I applaud her for it!…and the fact that she is not tut tutting about porn, she is in fact quite reasonable and chill about it, aka, sure adults can enjoy it as entertainment, just not for kids.

    Also, i wanna slap j.lo, Lena dunham et.al with that stupid pose, which is what girls are trying to imitate.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Agree about the open mouthed pose. What scares me is young girls sending a message they don’t really understand and getting responses to it that they aren’t old enough to handle. It puts them in danger, I think.

      QQ, this ot, but I saw your post about the boyfriend dilemma late last night, where you said you hoped he wasn’t settling, and I responded, but you probably didn’t see it. I just want to say that any man lucky enough to win your heart isn’t settling. He will be blessed.

      • Esmom says:

        “What scares me is young girls sending a message they don’t really understand and getting responses to it that they aren’t old enough to handle.”

        THIS. It’s one thing to be irritated when Lena Dunham does it ad nauseum, which I am, but it’s something completely different when young girls do it. Very scary indeed.

      • Amy Tennant says:

        A girl in my daughter’s class always takes selfies like that. She’s only 12, and she’s been doing it at least since she was 11. She poses like that when her mom takes her picture, too. It bothers me, and I worry for her.

      • QQ says:

        Really, you did Goodnames?!? 🙊🙊 I fucking promise you you are gonna make me teary eyed and Thugs dont cry!!! (But Thug WILL e-cuddle you for that!! Thanks my Love!

        back on Topic: THISSSS I already had to have a Serious convo with my 13 y.o cousin (and her mom) about slutty posing in IG and all that, She deleted it for a while but I explained to her about that and fb and those turdy ass dudes trolling for jailbait online later asking for risque pics/blackmailing you or people assuming stuff about you etc just cause you leave your ig or fb open with all these stupid pics all over

    • gg says:

      Nobody has mentioned the dumb-bunny finger in the mouth. Because looking intentionally stupid is cool. ~s

  2. Dani2 says:

    Okay so I like most of what she has to say but I feel like every time a celeb is promoting their work, they pick this one topic that they’re going to beat to death. With Cameron Diaz, it’s cheating and relationships. With J-Law, it was weight and body issues and with her, it’s how women are perceived and how they conduct themselves. Like I said, I agree with a lot of what she’s saying but I definitely feel like she’s pushing this hard mainly because it’s supposed to be her “thing” during this promotional period for her new flick.

    • HHazel says:

      or maybe because they’ve talked about it once so they keep getting asked about it? I mean usually the interviewers just asks about whatever they said before in an other interview (cuz they be lazy) and then it goes on and on.

      • Dani2 says:

        Eh, that’s true, I guess that I just get tired of hearing celebs say the same thing over and over again in a short space of time and everytime I see her, I think of that “stopactinglikewhores” tweet. I like literally 95% of what she has to say. Only thing that bothered me was ” there’s actually a correlation between spending time worrying about what you look like and how you could be appealing to guys and not developing other parts of yourself”. But I’ll reiterate, I’m not hating, I like most of what she has to say.

      • HHazel says:

        I understand what you are saying I get tired of it too. I also like what she has to say but I feel like either the interviewers should come up with other questions or the celebs should just say they already said what they wanted to say about the subject matter and move on. Unless they have something new to say about it that they havn’t said already, but I definitly agree with you.

    • Happyhat says:

      I always imagine many actresses get stuck with various topics, and as annoying as they are, they at least get to stear the interview away from other topics – such as relationships. I mean, I can’t recall a JLaw interview where her personal relationships were discussed. Weight, yes. Relationships, no. Double-edge sword and all that.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      Perhaps, but she was on the Women In the World panel, so it make sense that she would be talking about women’s issues.

      Personally, I would rather hear conversations on IMPORTANT topics such as this, than hearing the same discussion about tips on staying thin. Not only is this topic not covered as much in pop culture media so just by being different it makes it refreshing, but it is also a topic worthy of more discussion.

  3. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I really like her.

    This made me sad, though. More evidence of the far reaching damaging effects of p0rn and how it harms both men and women. But I’ll be accused of not being feminist, or being uptight and a pearl clutcher for saying so.

  4. Tatjana says:

    I’m 21 and never felt any pressure to sex it up, or maybe I just haven’t notived it.
    I like what she’s saying.

  5. BeckyR says:

    “Selfies” are for those who have super inflated egos…or none at all.

  6. yummy says:

    I’m sorry but does she ever act or is she still riding on the coat tails of her father? I know someone will mention her degree from an ivy but this is easier to get with connections FACT, its not necessarily a reflection of brains.

    PS: the regulation of the internet debate is always risky because who then is the standard for what is permitted and it also allows for the creation of a danger zone with oppressive governments, not that some aren’t already trying. How about people just use the resources already available to protect their children on the internet or trust your parenting skills or don’t get a computer.
    and on a side note I’m growing tired of her sexy regulations for young girls, especially since she’s been naked for male objectification in men’s mags before; and the tone (at least in my opinion) of her speeches always seem judgmental; and this is coming from a 21 yr old with no sexy in her at all. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love my sexy friends.

  7. blue marie says:

    There is nothing she says here that I don’t agree with, I can’t even imagine what I would have been like if I were a teenager today. I would like to think I wouldn’t fall to the pressure but.. I’ll never know because I didn’t live it.

    I will say I don’t think the internet should be regulated from an outside force. And I realize that’s not what she’s saying but she made me think about it way to early this morning.

  8. FLORC says:

    This is a great PSA!
    DOS and mIRC were the big ones when I was growing up. That can’t lead to too much trouble.
    When most of us were kids you screwed up and you moved on. Now you screw up and that incident is filed away in the interweb forever.

  9. Bobby says:

    Totally agree with her though. Those mouth open prostitute poses are annoying. Also the fact that most young girls seem to have totally white foundation which even covers their lips. Well I guess it makes a change from when I was a teen and everyone was orange.

    • Artemis says:

      Oh.

      Do guys who pose without shirts – look at my sexy abs! – bother you too? Or putting their hands on their dick area #swaggerstyle? Or what about men who make duck faces/sexy faces to a camera? Or guys who sent dick shots without asking?

      And why is a prostitute used as a negative all the time? They are women who were once young girls too, y’know. Funny how our respect flies out of the window once they don’t become what society wants them to become: elegant apparently. Or whatever the hell that means.

      • Bailey says:

        Artemis, yes it does bother me, boys or girls, it does.

        I’m pretty sure you know what she is trying to say here.

        There is way too much look at me, me, me, me , me sexy pics of women and men out there in the world, which one day they might regret.

        I’m almost 27 year old woman now, so still young and I must say that I’m truly disturbed by the near crazy level of pressure of looking sexy to abnormal levels for young people today.

        Especially young girls, women put more pressure on themselves than any men would ever dream of.

        I like that Rashida is talking about difficult issues and not in the politically correct way that many celebs do not do in fear of offending their demographics.

        She seems smart and talented, she is educated, and is doing something worthwhile in this world.

        She could have used her fathers huge resources to live, instead she actually cares
        About things that she doesnt really have to.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        One little thing…Prostitutes can be men.

      • Artemis says:

        @Bailey:
        Yes I did and I perfectly understood. And you’re not Bobby so you can’t speak for her/him. The comments seem mainly directed at women and Bobby has yet to answer my question.

        The sexy pics of men are usually in a position of power in the advertising world and in the social media era not criticized like women are. There is a difference.

        The pressure comes not from within. If you look at body image issues you can find that in sociology, theorists largely agree that the fashion world always had a huge influence on how bodies should look. Fashion is mainly occupied by men. Then you have the issues within families were children are abused which can lead to body image issues (strive for perfection, acceptance). People who are fat are perceived as lazy, dumb and unattractive in various studies. We constantly get these messages and then we blame young women for the consequences of other people’s actions?

        She’s talking about the issue in the simplest terms and having a degree clearly does not mean she utilizes her critical analysis skills because girlfriend always undermines her feeble arguments by taking things personal and using vague academic sources. I happen to do a dissertation about body image and media and I found Sarah Grogan’s book ‘Body Image’ to be a great starting point to educate myself (and other women if they’re interested) on these types of issues.

        @Tiffany
        I don’t know if you’re deliberately obtuse but I disagree that the word ‘prostitute’ isn’t gender specific when debating these specific topics. I never hear people refer to single men who play the field being called prostitutes as opposed to single women playing the field. Semantics. In the general sense, you would be correct though.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I made the point about prostitutes also being men because, while historically these matters tend to affect women more, they are now also hurting young men as well. Eating disorders in young men has grown significantly in recent years, for example.

        I do agree with you that a lot of the problems stem from the way men in power set social norms, and the behavior of young women isn’t the root of the problem, it is a symptom of it. However, I think that in order for women to be aware of the set up around them, you have to talk to them as Rashida is doing. Addressing the power behind this set up is also very important, but I think communicating with young women about these issues is also important. I don’t think there is one step that will take care of it all.

      • KB says:

        UGH. Yes to all of your questions. All of those scenarios are repulsive and the guys who pose like that are obvious d***** bags.

      • KB says:

        And what about young male prostitutes or guys that are gay for pay? The word prostitute doesn’t imply female.

        And finally, anyone who knows anything about prostitution in the US knows that the majority of female prostitutes have had abusive upbringings, or are addicted to hardcore drugs, or any other number of awful life circumstances.

        When a person disapproves of another for “looking like a prostitute,” I think the argument is that these young girls have everything going for them, while most female s** workers were dealt a sh***y hand to begin with. Some young women have no idea how lucky they are and how much potential they have.

  10. Aurie says:

    Ugh….James Franco is nowhere near as creepy as Sam Taylor-Johnson. double standards much?

  11. Sixer says:

    It is a completely different world now for kids, isn’t it? Sixlet Major was relating the details of some crisis drama amongst his friends and it transpires that the standard sign of going out with a boyfriend or girlfriend PROPERLY is that you swap Facebook passwords. I never thought I’d be making a rule that the only other person to be allowed social media passwords on pain of said accounts being disallowed altogether is MUM.

    Lord knows what it’ll be like when they’re fully adolescent.

    • GiGi says:

      Ugh! My oldest is 11 and, thank god, a bit of a tomboy. She’s horrified at growing breasts so I hope I’m a good bit off from her wanting a cell phone or facebook… well, she asks.. but that is not happening! She’s already 5’5 and very mature – I’m so hoping we skip this phase!

      And, I’m sorry, but I guard my passwords with my life – I had no idea this was a “thing” amongst the younger set – good to know…

      • reddy says:

        I work with young people and it is shocking how often there is big-time drama because someone would pass around another kid’s password. It’s always the same. They meet someone and at that age, everybody is their BFF right away. Then, just a little bit later, they have a fight about whatever and the password gets passed around. And they don’t seem to learn, it happens over and over again.

    • Sixer says:

      The Sixlets do social media (a bit) but no girlfriends or anything as yet, thank heavens. But some of their friends do, as you can see. My tactic is to always have something on offer to do that they think is cool and so do I. Idle hands and all that. But I only ban/forbid anything as an absolute last resort.

      While we adults are sitting about discussing new ideas of privacy, the kids are all enacting them. That’s their world now, for better or worse.

  12. Esmom says:

    “You could smile!” Made me laugh, so true, what a revolutionary concept! I like her smart and thoughtful take on the topic and it’s sweet that she cares so much about her sister. I remember being panicked for my younger sister when she was a teen because she seemed so much more susceptible to peer and cultural pressure than I tended to be, so I get that.

    But as someone said above, I made mistakes and went through rough patches as a teen and I have no idea how that would have played out had the internet existed. It is such a different world. I don’t think we can regulate the internet but we can continue to try to be good parents and role models for our kids and young relatives and friends and help convince them to make choices they won’t regret when they’re older.

    • GiGi says:

      My kids have friends who are already on twitter & facebook – we’re talking 9-12 year olds! Insane. My cousin just let her daughter on at 16… at first I thought this was a little restrictive, but she’s been very responsible so far.

      I, too, am horrified when I think about how awful it would be to have all my adolescent mistakes on the interwebs forevah! Just the worst… you could never escape it. And I seriously say a prayer of thanks every day that this stuff didn’t exist when I was still dating – the pressure!!! We just barely had cell phones and email when I was dating, lol!

      • Esmom says:

        Yeah, I don’t get the young kids on social media thing. Thankfully my sons, both young teens, aren’t into most of that stuff, and neither are most of their friends. I can’t tell you how happy I am about that. Although I know many of their classmates are into it — the school principal just sent a note saying kids are using Twitter “inappropriately.” My kids said they have no clue about what happened…I don’t even want to know.

        The one thing my 13-year-old is on is Instagram, so I joined so I could follow him. His stuff is so heartbreakingly earnest and innocent that it almost kills me, he hasn’t succumbed to the pressure to be disaffected. Yet.

        As for when I was dating — we didn’t have cell phones OR email! I’m a dinosaur. :)

      • Erinn says:

        I was crawling around the internet at 12. Joining some form of chats, though nothing too sketchy. Mostly I chatted on MSN with people from school, or played online games. I think as long as the kids are aware of the dangers, and don’t assume it could never happen to them, they’re fine. I’m 23, almost 24. I’ve never gotten into a sketchy situation online, and I’ve spent soooo many hours on the internet. I was also a bit of a nerd, because I was brushing up on coding at 12, but still.

      • Esmom says:

        Erinn, it sounds like you were a pretty grounded kid, that’s nice to hear. My kids are aware of the dangers — and really, I don’t think they even know where to look for the truly creepy stuff that’s supposedly out there. My 14 year old rarely strays from ESPN, for example. But I know you never know what they could stumble into, so I try to keep on top of it and luckily, so far, they’re too busy with other stuff to even have much time to spend online. As with most things in life, I think balance is key!

  13. Godwina says:

    Damn, I love her, but I lose respect instantly for anyone who uses the word “whore” sententiously. The most misogynistic word in the English language. The word that’s been used to disenfranchise, disinherit, divorce, condemn, marginalize, persecute and slander women since forever. The word so many women hear right before they’re punched or kicked or murdered or raped–that puts women on instant alert for their safety way more than “bitch” or “cunt.” Fuck that word and anyone who uses it to perpetuate the idea that women’s worth lies in a flap of skin between our legs and how we choose to use or not use it.

    Damn, Rash. I know you think this is feminism, and there’s indeed a message in there somewhere about avoiding being exploited etc. etc. for sure, but your slut-shamey couching of stuff isn’t working for me, or for women’s weal in general. Check your language.

    • Artemis says:

      I so agree with you. Especially your last paragraph sums it up perfectly. I think she means well, I think she is capable enough to understand sexism and hypersexualization but she loses me because she’s on the surface and making it personal. The constant references to her being awkward and fat as a reason she wasn’t sexy and had to focus on other stuff reeks of lingering insecurity and resentment. She posed sexy too yet would she brand herself a ‘whore’ or somebody who doesn’t care about deeper things? No (and neither would I). Like most people, she’s splitting hairs about the degrees of sexiness, what it means to be sexy/owning sexuality and prefers her brand to be more valuable and classy than others when in reality it’s just HER way of expressing her sexuality.
      She loses me when she clearly speaks from a classist point of view, and her judgmental ‘them’ (shallow whores) vs. us (classy, smart elegant girls) point of view. The same thing I see with Tina Fey tbh.

      It’s also typical for people to celebrate this type of feminism that ultimately still puts the blame on females and stereotypes them in the easiest most damaging way instead of going to the root of the issues (men selling and consuming sex amongst other factors) . It’s lazy white feminist theory imo.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Artemis, I agree with a lot of what you say, except I am not trying to BLAME women for their objectification, I’m just trying to get them to take responsibility for their participation in it. I know you weren’t addressing me, but I feel that whenever women put forth your point of view, they don’t explain the alternative. I totally get why it’s wrong to say “you’re acting like a wh0re” but why is it wrong to try to explain to young girls that by portraying themselves as objects, they are playing to an audience that wants to see and use them as objects; by imitating p0rn stars, they are sending a message about who they are, and if they understood that message, they might not want to send it? What can be done about men besides educating them that it isn’t right to objectify women? What is the hope of that? And in the meantime, what is wrong with a girl or woman not allowing herself to be objectified? Until we stop allowing it, it won’t happen. I am honestly trying to understand your point of view.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I don’t think she is being classist or judgemental. She is simply advocating for females to not limit themselves to JUST sexy in the way they present themselves to the world.

        Also, I dont think it is placing “blame” so much as acknowledging that the way we share ourselves with the world has an impact on how the world reacts to us, how we are treated.

  14. poppy says:

    i agree with what she is saying but her self example of being “pretty awkward and a little overweight and definitely not sexy” and how she was able to develop other parts of herself is just an assumption. firstly, most people that age, regardless of how they look and behave, are insecure. secondly, you can be a teenager that feels sexy, and feels more “together” than she felt, and still develop other parts of your persona. maybe there was a better way for her to justify what she is saying because i totally agree with her.
    i think the celebitchy community does a good job of emphasizing the open mouth pose (amongst other things) is so very unsophisticated. outside of hoping parents do they best they can, i’m not sure what else can be done besides making our opinion known and boycotting/avoiding/not participating in the things that promote the desperate, unsophisticated, and limiting culture that is foisted on us. on the other side, we should all support the things that provide the information we know to be accurate. so i appreciate what she is saying and support it.
    hopefully young people eventually realize that just because it is ubiquitous does not make it right. i can’t remember who said it but “elegance is refusal”.

    the bra exposing dress- :roll:

  15. Dee says:

    Shut the hell up already, Mother Superior. Jesus, she’s wearing a freaking bra as a top, and she’s pointing fingers at others for over-sexualizing themselves?
    Worry about yourself, about your career, and about your ‘acting talent’ *cough cough* and let everyone else live, learn, make their choices and their mistakes.

    • Delta Juliet says:

      The difference is, she is a fully grown adult. She is giving advice to young girls. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

      • Dee says:

        To me it doesn’t come off as advice & a point of view. It comes off as slut-shaming and that’s why I have a problem with it. Hashtagging kids’ behavior as “#stopactinglikewhores” will never be right.
        You know, I don’t have as much a problem with the message as with her aggressive judgy stance. It comes off as hypocritical, real hypocritical to me.
        If it were just advice to young girls, I’d be totally on board with it. I am when it comes to Amy Poehler’s way of doing it (her “Ask Amy” videos are the thing).

  16. Delta Juliet says:

    My son will be 11 soon and has been begging me to get on Instagram, since “all his friends” are. I thought about it for awhile, then agreed, setting down rules and guidelines. I check his account regularly and we are also “friends” on there.

    Well, all of this little friends wanted to be my Instagram friend because even if they don’t know me, they just want followers! Long story short, I accepted all of them because it gives me a good idea of what my kid deals with everyday. It’s discouraging. Little 10 year old girls taking duckface selfies. !0 year old boys talking about stuff 10 year old boys have no business knowing about. There is one girl who stalked my son so much we had to delete and block her. Now she posts that she doesn’t like my son because she is totally into “bad boys”. SERIOUSLY? WTF! YOU ARE 10 YEARS OLD!

    The only good thing about it is, I am aware of it and we can use it as a learning experience, but seriously, it depresses the hell out of me.

    I miss the old days. And I’m not even that old. It scares me for what these kids are setting themselves up for, and from the looks of it a lot of the parents really don’t care.

    • Alright then says:

      Ugh. I’m so not ready for all this. My son isn’t even in proper school yet and I don’t even want to think about what kids are going to be doing in 5-8 years when he (I’m sure) will start getting into all this stuff. I’m praying for a societal pendulum swing in the other direction. Or at least one where people think, hey this is going to be out there forever and maybe mystery isn’t such a bad idea?

    • Esmom says:

      DJ, Oh geez, that is depressing. I was checking out my son’s Instagram followers and I found a girl that I know was “pursuing” my older son. Her tagline or header or whatever it was said “I’m single and ready to mingle.” She was 12 at the time.

      What’s also weird is that even when they know their or their friends’ parents are monitoring them, some kids don’t censor themselves at all. My nephews are notorious for posting photos of all the partying they do in college and I often wonder why their parents seem fine with that. I know I would not be.

      I tell this to my kids all the time — they have the rest of their lives for adult pursuits! Why rush it? Enjoy being a kid while you can because childhood will be over before they know it. I know it’s just a matter of time, though…I feel like the clock is ticking…

      Alright then, don’t despair. As I’ve said above my kids so far are just not that into social media themselves, they are truly “men of mystery” compared to many of their peers’ online presences. The key, I think, is keeping them busy and engaged in other pursuits. My kids do sports and band and music, they enjoy the outdoors. My older son would rather spend any free time outside shooting hoops than on a screen and my younger son reads and writes and illustrates short stories much of the time when he’s free.

      Meanwhile, I’m typing away on a gossip blog, ah the irony. Time to sign off for a bit :)

      • Delta Juliet says:

        Well, thankfully, my boys are all about sports, band, and being outside too. In fact, my son’s Instagram account is all pictures of him and his brother, or screenshots from a video game lol. He’s very innocent in a lot of ways.

        Then, he got an invite from a kid who is in high school who has helped out on various teams my son has been on. I looked at it and it was 10% pictures of him playing sports and 90% of drugs. I about died. I mean, I know this stuff is out there, hell, I tried stuff (when I was older). But this is a high school kid, sharing this with a 10 year old. Kills me. Well, at least we got to have a good talk about it. Still though. Makes me wonder about the parents who just.don’t. care.

  17. Artemis says:

    Ugh, ugh, ugh. Her statement about being awkward and smart is killing me with second hand embarrassment. Isn’t she besties with Natalie Portman? That’s one example of a smart woman who happens to be beautiful and there are millions more. Why assert the stereotype that you can’t be pretty and smart? That’s so shallow. She said herself that boys didn’t want her because she was fat so she had to find other things. Methinks it’s getting a bit personal Rashida. And it didn’t stop her from posing half-nude for magazines. How about we shift the focus on the fact that teen girls aren’t the one instigating this oversexualization? That would be standing up for sexism, not blaming or focusing on the VICTIMS of it.

    All girls/women feel pressure or are aware at least, since we all notice how we and other women get treated. It comes naturally with growing up.
    A sexy selfie doesn’t mean you don’t value education or that looking good is your only interest. Sometimes, girls just wanna have fun! I’m going to need the receipts for that correlation that she vaguely refers too.

    I know she’s an ‘educated woman’ but for the love of god if she wants to talk about sexism and hypersexualization, do proper in-depth research AND stop snipping about girls and women being unclassy or not valuing deeper things in life because they act sexy. Just stop. You can’t judge women you don’t know and mention 1 correlation. It’s weak for an academically trained person. Mention your sources and analyse them. Everybody can whip out a study that proves their point, real research involves weighing both sides of the issues and making up your own mind. Not interjecting a study with your personal opinion. Like bye gurl.

    EDIT: I do believe the porn issue though.

  18. It'sJustBlanche says:

    I do a lot of social media in my job and Instagram is one place we try to reach clients (PS: Instagram sucks for that). I’m always surprised when I see some of the “likes” we get and they’re from 14 year olds with all these sexy pictures. Where are their parents? If you want to do that when you’re 20, fine. but at that age, you should be posting pictures of your cat or complaining about homework.

  19. Erm says:

    I’m liking Rashida more and more.

  20. Jen says:

    Rashida really likes sharing her opinions (aka judgemental as hell musings) lately, huh? She is constantly talking about people being too “whorish” or looking like prostitutes.

    • Sam says:

      Good for her.

      Thank God, some women use their heads for more than a pretty hairstyle.

      I agree with Rashida, men and women are much more than just whats on the outside.

      Can some people stop going crazy with the selfish selfies already?

      Smart woman and she is willing to speak up about difficult subjects, not just go on and on about hair, skin, clothes and other not very important things.

  21. Shiksa Goddess says:

    I wish selfies would just go away. That being said, I really like Rashida, she’s like a breath of fresh air.

  22. TheCountess says:

    I am 100% anti-selfie. Go Rashida for at least trying to make them *less* obnoxious as long as they persist.

  23. Ginger says:

    My son just turned twelve and we live in Vegas where there are multiple strip clubs and adult stores so he and I have already had many discussions on par with Rashida. He is just now allowed to have a Facebook that my ex husband and I monitor. That’s so important. Even more important are the talks we’ve had about being a gentleman, dating, drinking, sex and yes, porn. I know he’s seen it already on the Internet and that’s something I don’t think anyone can fully control so I just gave him my opinion about it. I want him to have a healthy sex life with respect for his partner. We discussed that while porn is something adults watch it’s not “real life” just like any other movie. Luckily he’s very mature for his age and hangs tough when Mom talks about embarrassing subjects! I’m curious however about how different it must be for parents of girls?

  24. aenflex says:

    Porn isn’t the only contributing factor. How about reality TV, social media and the combined facts that critical, independent thought in adolescents has been marginalized, and parental influence weakened.
    The ways and means for young adults to act foolish and vapid have increased dramatically over the last 15 years. Personally I don’t know what has happened to the backbones of the youth. In my teen years I would never have followed along in making myself look like a piece of slut pie, or douchebaguette.

    • Nicolette says:

      +1.
      Things have changed dramatically, and it’s only getting worse. There’s no filter anymore, no limit on behavior and no worries at all about how it might be perceived. They just flat out don’t care. And with the antics of ‘celebs’ *cough* such as the Kardashains being glamorized it just lowers standards even more.

      I wouldn’t want to be back in my teen years in this age for anything. Social media has changed everything, and makes a difficult period of growing up even more so. We may have had less in some ways during my teen years than the kids today, but in so many ways we had so much more.

  25. lucy2 says:

    She may not always say it perfectly, and is sure to get some backlash on it, but I’m glad someone is at least standing up and talking about it, and saying “hey, maybe think twice before you put that out there into the world.”

  26. Sam says:

    I completely agree with her.

    In my opinion, she is absolutely right.

    There is way too much of me, me, me and more me in this world.

    Women are more than great skin, hair and body.

    Please use your brains more ladies and cover up bit more, so people see more than just your skin, hair and body.

    Please get a good education, so you do not rely on your looks, because too soon youth and beauty will fade away and unfortunately our society is very much interested in youth and beauty.

    Nothing wrong with taking care of your looks, but please invest in a good education, please do not put “all your eggs in one basket”, diversification is smart not just in finance.

    Good for Rashida, she is talking about the uncomfortable reality, but it’s very true.

  27. Aly says:

    I hate selfies. I despise them. Everytime I see a little club girl scream at her friends to come over so they can all make ugly duck faces at a camera I want to break it.

    Girls are so beautiful when they smile, why they think fish lips or open mouth attempts to be sexy are better I’ll never know…

  28. Nycgal says:

    The thing is, that as women we contribute to this whole problem.

    We complain about society being all about female beauty and not about female brain, but so many women and not just young women are taking these very selfish pics over and over again.

    Women can’t complain so much when they are a big part of the problem.

  29. Lisa says:

    So glad your sister is a !good girl! Rashida. We’ve all watched the 50s era films about what happens to bad girls.

  30. Lili says:

    I hate when women tell other women, or girls, what to do. And her slut-shaming thing is so unfresh.