Has Lindsay Lohan completely lost touch with reality, or is she really doing a play?

LL1

Dear Great Britain: I’m still very, very sorry that America’s Grand Dame of Crack Shenanigans has washed up on your shores. That being said, HAHAHA, I’m not sorry at all. Enjoy her! In today’s episode of Crack Shenanigans: The Cracken Is Her Generation’s Meryl Streep, Part Bajillion, Lindsay Lohan is still trying to convince everyone that she FOR REAL got a part in a West End play. She keeps claiming she got hired to do David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow. And then over the weekend, she posted the header photo to her Instagram with this message, “At work! First day.. Read through.”

So… that happened. But is Lindsay just throwing crack lie on top of crack lie, hoping it will all be cracktastic in the end? As The Daily Beast pointed out, there has been no announcement of Lindsay’s casting in this or any play. There hasn’t even been an announcement about a revival of Speed-the-Plow. As The Daily Beast summarizes, “So either Lindsay Lohan really is going to star in a new production of Speed-the-Plow in the West End, or she is entertaining a very grand and very sad delusion.” WHICH IS IT?!

According to CB reader/commenter Ctkat1, Lindsay is actually standing in front of the door to Her Majesty’s Theatre, which is currently running daily shows of Phantom of the Opera… until April 2015. So… yeah, Lindsay is lying her ass off, correct? Like, really blatant lies and really off-putting delusions.

Meanwhile, there are some UK tabloid reports that LL and Kate Moss got into a fight at the Chiltern Firehouse. LL has been in and out of the Chiltern Firehouse day after day, night after night, for weeks now. Kate Moss has popped in as well, so it’s possible they were there at the same time. According to onlookers, “The argument went on for a while, and Kate seemed extremely annoyed with Lindsay.” Kate was apparently upset with LL for contacting her husband Jamie Hince. Dear Kate Moss: while I don’t doubt that you could take down the Cracken, please don’t even bother. She’s not worth the effort.

wenn21468963

Photos courtesy of LL’s Instagram, WENN.

 

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

114 Responses to “Has Lindsay Lohan completely lost touch with reality, or is she really doing a play?”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Lindy79 says:

    While I do think rehearsals can start very early for plays/musicals, I did a full proper LOL at her getting outed at a stage door for a theatre with a show running until this time next year.

    Course she’s lying, who in their right mind would hire this trick for anything other than a reality show here they are banking on her being a mess??

  2. Ray says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha wow

  3. lower-case deb says:

    so she’s going to get a part in Phantom of the Opera? the monkey-shaped music box or the chandelier falling off the ceiling?

  4. Jay says:

    Is she pulling her top down to flash her cleavage? So classy.

  5. Izzy says:

    The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, she could be both.

    However, I’m leaning heavily toward “crack-induced hallucination.”

  6. Patricia says:

    This is really bizarre, even from LiLo. Could she really be lying and taking it this far, and thinking no one will find out?
    If so her mental health has taken a dive to a while new low. How pathetic.

  7. Faye says:

    Well, the U.S. still has Piers Morgan, so it’s only fair they keep La Lohan in England.

    Maybe this is some self-produced fly-by-night, off-off-off-off Broadway British equivalent of “Speed the Plow?” I can see Lindsay and her fellow drunk/junkie friends that she parties with decide “Hey, let’s put on a play! We’re totally serious actors!”

    I would love for David Mamet to comment on this.

  8. msw says:

    I wonder if she is still using that fake British accent during her stay in London.

    I think she is lying. The question for me is if she believes it. I’ve dealt with some weirder long cons, and with those particular people, they were habitual liars and it was hard to tell how much they believe their own lies.

  9. mimif says:

    One thing is certain: those polka dot boots of doom are entirely delusional.

  10. eliza says:

    Those boots belong in the LeAnn Rimes Ugly Shoe Hall of Fame Collection.

    I don’t care if she is or isn’t doing a “play”. She cannot act and anyone putting her in anything is an idiot and gets what they deserve in headaches and bad reviews.

  11. Brin says:

    How dare we doubt the future Queen of England. Where is future Queen Mother Dina to substantiate this?!

  12. Bess says:

    Maybe the Cracken is trying to convince her Middle Eastern “friends” to bankroll the production?

    Also, there was a story on another site about the Cracken streaking through Selfridge’s this past weekend. I feel bad for the shop staff who were forced to chase her down and cover her with a blanket.

  13. grabbyhands says:

    While I can see a producer not necessarily being excited to promote anything starring Lindsay Lohan (but then again, why hire her if you feel that way?), but it seems odd in the extreme that no seems to have heard ANY details of this production. Like, if you thought even a few people would show up if only to see the inevitable crash and burn, you would want people to know where to find the freak show.

    If this exists someplace other than just in her head, I would say it must be a very small or experimental production indeed.

    • Decloo says:

      I’m going with the above poster who suggested this may be some kind of “let’s all get our crackie friends together and put on a play” thing. It will probably play somewhere in the West End but in a church basement or something. Maybe at a community center or old folks home?

    • Suzy from Ontario says:

      A lot of entertainment mags are posting that she’s in talks about maybe appearing in Speed-the-Plow in November. I don’t know if LL is their source or someone else but talk about it is out there. I have time believing she’d be capable of doing a live show at this point. She’s so unstable and this latest incident of her running naked around a department store laughing while store employees chased her and tried to cover her up just proves the point.

  14. Mia4S says:

    Why do I get the suspicion that one of her…”friends”…is trying to or saying he will bankroll this?

    Oh and is it a one woman show? Usually if your doing a read through you need other actors. There are three people in the play as written and no one else rumoured? Huh?

  15. evadstructn says:

    If this is actually happening, she will need multiple stage managers holding GIANT cardboard script prompts, because she will not be able remember her lines. During her last SNL she was so obviously using a prompter the entire time. And on Two Broke Girls, her delivery was so wooden, and her eyes kept looking upwards, as if she was searching to remember the next line.

  16. Mena says:

    This is very troubling from a mental health perspective. I’m not a LiLo fan, but since I work in social services, this type of behaviour automatically triggers a response in me. I’m almost certain LiLo has a narcissistic disorder, and now it’s manifesting delusions of grandeur and a distorted reality perception. Think about it …what if you had a friend that truly believed they were going to be employed by a fancy company, when in reality they werent employed at all? And what if the friend went so far as to take pics of their new job, honestly believing their delusion? What troubles me here is that LiLo doesn’t think she is lying, she honestly believes she is still talented enough to merit starring in a play. And she is.surrounded by enablers…whoever took that pic knowing she’s not starring in any play is someone who has no concern for her mental health. I can’t even mock her anymore. Mental illness is serious and she needs treatment. She may be completely unlikeable, but she is very sick.

    • Macey says:

      I believe she has already been officially diagnosed with NPD and also the delusions of grandeur were already confirmed by a Dr. when she was in one of her many rehab stays but I dont remember which one. There’s no cure or treatment either from what I understand.

      • Mena says:

        Many mental conditions have no cure, but they can definitely be managed or treated, like any other chronic illness such as high blood pressure or asthma, through medications or tall therapy. Some conditions require treatment that may not be affordable or agreeable to the patient, such as permanent placement in a treatment facility.

    • Jojoann says:

      I also suspect she has a couple of psychiatric disorders. I hate to cyber-diagnose but its hard to ignore some of the signs. I was watching some vintage Lilo clips and I feel pretty certain there is some Borderline Personality Disorder there. There are clips where she just breaks down in to a stream of tears and screams at a very puzzled Samantha Rawnson. Or where she breaks down in an airport because she cant find her ride. Her childhood (parents plus stardom) was a perfect breeding ground for BPD as well. Narcissistic Disorder could explain that too.

      I’m sure the drugs and alcohol arent helping but I really really think theres something underneath. I worry that nobody around her had recommended that she see a psychiatrist.

    • msw says:

      I agree (I’m a clinical social worker). Its not funny to me. When a person is that deluded, its bad. She’s not going off the rails; she’s gone, and I hope she eventually accepts the help she has turned away at every opportunity before its too late.

      I suspect all the drugging and drinking is self medicating at least least 3 or 4 other serious diagnoses. We already know she has OCD, some kind of depressisve disorder, and at least one Axis II disorder (duh). Not that I’m excusing her horrible behavior in any way.

    • Emily C. says:

      Yeah, there was always something sad about her, but her assholery made me not feel bad about laughing at her. But if this is a delusion and not some weird scheme bankrolled by her gross billionaire “friends”, I can’t laugh at it. If she’s lost contact with reality to this extent, and her mother’s enabling it… she needs to be hospitalized.

    • birch says:

      I would expect a professional social worker to know that social workers are not qualified to diagnose even their own clients who they see regularly let alone a person they have never met. No one would dream of diagnosing a physical illness unless they are a doctor but everyone who took psych 101 thinks they know what’s wrong with people they do not happen to like much. Drives me insane.

      • msw says:

        Yep, drives me insane too, but I’m not diagnosing her. I have complained about armchair diagnosing a lot on this board. I was referencing public information about diagnoses she or others have “confirmed” (as much as these things are ever confirmed via gossip) snd suggested its possible she is self-medicating, which is a far cry from armchair diagnosing. that’s not making my own assessment of a person I have never met. I would not do that, and by the way, I’m far from being a “psych 101 student.” And yes, licensed clinical sw’s can do differential diagnostic assessment, at least where I practice.

  17. Jacqueline says:

    I’ll take grand delusion for $1,000, Alex.

  18. Falula says:

    I’m a terrible person, but all I can think about when I see LiLo stories is that her 28th birthday is around the corner (ashamed to know that), and I’m really surprised that it seems she’s going to make it that far.

  19. neelyo says:

    What the top photo doesn’t show is her being chased away from the stage door for loitering a few moments later.

    This reminds me of when she crashed the press conference for the ill-fated Gotti film. Just a crack hustle move.

  20. Skins says:

    Well, we all know this is some kind of crack-delusion, but wouldn’t it be great if it were true? Imagine her in front of a live audience, cracked out of her mind, trying to remember her lines. It would be epic!

    • Decloo says:

      Maybe this is the set-up for another reality show “Lindsay at the West End.” Then , just like on the Oprah show, we will see her blow it over and over again. That’s where she gets her fame/notoriety and THAT’s what’s going to pay the bills. She knows what’s expected of her and she will probably deliver.

  21. Happyhat says:

    I have absolutely no idea how theatre production works, but it still could be true.

    True, as in she could be starring in a production of ‘Speed-the-plow’ in the backroom of a pub that has a postcode that just about puts it in the west end, produced by people who dropped out of RADA.

    And that she’s had that ‘stage door’ photo taken because she’s slightly embarrassed that it’s in in a small back room of a pub and not a theatre.

    • Happyhat says:

      Also, to reply to myself, it’s interesting why she’s making a beeline for the theatre. She’s still trying to hop on the ‘serious actress’ horse. That’s so odd. She’d have no problem whatsoever getting onto the pointless celeb circuit round here. There are at least 10 game shows she could do: that stupid ‘skiing down slopes’ game show, that Keith Lemmon thing, at least 5 BBC3 things. It’s not like the UK is bereft of dreadful TV shows that are practically set up for people like LiLo. She’d get paid! She could carry on her…whatever it is she’s doing. She could evade bankruptcy! So why is she still faffing about with stuff like this?!

      • OhMyMy says:

        @Happy hat: I don’t know what faffing about means (please explain) but I love it. I’m totally adopting it as a catchphrase.

      • Montréalise says:

        It would help if she weren’t surrounded by enablers and if she didn’t continue to get paid handsomely for jobs. $ 2 million dollars for the Oprah documentary (which just showed everyone what a nightmare she is to deal with). $ 30,000 for an appearance at a party at a casino (for which she was two hours late, BTW). As long as she keeps getting paid for appearances and her entourage keep encouraging her bad behaviour, she will continue on her present path.

      • Ange says:

        Faffing about means sort of like messing around – wasting time pointlessly. Here in Aus we use it and my all time favourite: ‘stuffing around.’

      • Happyhat says:

        @OhMyMy like @Ange says, faffing = messing around, wasting time. Do feel free to use it!! I faff about quite a lot, hence why I spend so much time on here!

        @Ange: Stuffing around…I’m loving that! Never heard of it before; I shall be adopting that too!

  22. Talie says:

    I keep reading the word “possible” bandied about — so I’m guessing this is all show looking to get interest moving from an investor. I mean, where is the rest of the cast? Does anyone really believe she is out all night partying and showing up for work on time to table reads. Uh, no…

  23. BobbieFisher says:

    Remember, this is the woman who grinned from ear to ear and then said “I had a MIScarriage.” and then did a “so-there!” face. On national television. When there hadn’t been a two week period when she was not photographed partying at night. This woman tries to get away with anything she can – and this photo in front of HMT – and by the way her twitter posts the same pic with the caption “I’m ready for my close up” (does she even realize she’s quoting her filmic doppelganger?). Just amazing. In her interview with Ellen recently she said “A lot of people don’t know this, but all those other times I went to rehab was to avoid jail.” A lot of people do know this and it shows how out of touch Lindsay is. Now one thing though, HMT could be renting out rehearsal space – that’s common – and they don’t have a West End theatre yet – but it’s possible she could be rehearsing there. But personally, I believe someone said to Lindsay “Maybe” and she ran full steam ahead – like with Inconceivable, the film that is not in production – but did add an actress to the IMdb – her name is Twinnie Lee (good lord), an unknown who is a thousand times better looking than Lohan. Still, that film ain’t gonna get made, this play still ain’t gonna run, Lindsay will spend another 6 months trying to sell it to her “investors” for bjs and nothing will come of it. The photo of the stage door, just like the sundance press alert, just like the miscarriage statement, just like the photo in the recording booth – all lies. Very disturbing, pathetic and desperate. Karma (even though I don’t believe in it) is coming for Lohan. Soon she will have nothing. We just have to wait.

  24. dorothy says:

    Don’t care, just glad she’s their problem now.

  25. Portlandjan says:

    I have the perfect role for her: the title character in “Waiting For Godot”. It would be a win-win as she gets to claim that she is appearing in a play, while the playgoers don’t actually have to see her.

  26. OrangeBlohan says:

    I don’t think this is all going to end well for Lindsay. I worry we will wake up to tragic news about Lindsay one day. Is there no one in her life who cares enough to try to help her? I used to feel disgusted with her, now I just feel sad for her.

    • Jessica says:

      Lindsay has had SEVERAL people try and help her……. the latest being Oprah.

      she clearly does not give a rat’s butt about anyones help.

      • Decloo says:

        I don’t think Oprah was in it to “help” Lindsay in any way at all. Oprah paid the Cracken to perform as the Cracken. Had Lindsay played it all straight and behaved herself nobody at all would have watched. Lindsay’s whole life is playing role for which she gets tons of attention and money. She’s kind of like the class clown. She’s giving the people what they want.

      • BobbieFisher says:

        Decloo, I do think Oprah was in it to help Lindsay, and I think she was also trying to help her network. I don’t see anything at all wrong with that. If Oprah just plopped Lohan in NYC with no money, no psychiatrist, no life coach, no sober coach, no apartment, no stylist, no assistants – then I would say she only did it for ratings. As it was – Oprah helped Lindsay two million times more than anyone would. And she took a huge risk to help Lohan. Lohan had one of the best opportunities for an addict ever given. Lohan could have moved into her apartment herself, gone to meetings, the gym, the pole dancing, stayed away from parties, nightclubs, Coachella etc. all by herself. But she had so much help. When Lohan said after she lied about her miscarriage “Who’s helping that girl?” I thought an army of people and the most famous woman in the world are helping that girl – and that girl is not taking that help. I don’t care if Oprah also did this for ratings, and Lohan should not care about that either – she had everything at her feet and just like the $30 million she made in her lifetime – she pissed it away. She is a sociopath who will herself prey on the weak and even the dead – calling up the name of Heath Ledger at the drop of a hat, just to make her look good. Lohan has never helped anyone on her own. Oprah honestly wanted to help Lohan.

      • doofus says:

        ” I thought an army of people and the most famous woman in the world are helping that girl – and that girl is not taking that help.”

        and that is the key, right there. I have said before, if she REALLY REALLY tried to get clean and took advantage of the help she was offered, I think a lot of us would be rooting for her. but like everything else, she fakes her way through or outright rejects it.

        ETA: wow, Anname, I said the same thing before reading your post. Great minds, I guess. :)

    • Anname says:

      If she doesn’t want to change her lifestyle and address her issues, no one can force her. It doesn’t matter how much help they try to give her. She has had plenty of opportunities to get help but has faked her way through or rejected it all together. I don’t know what else anyone can do for her.

  27. Jackson says:

    What I find especially odd is that she looks, for her, rather clean and fresh-faced (again, for her.) It looks like she’s embracing fair skin and ditching the self tanner as well. Not that clean skin and delusions can’t go together, but I’m thinking she’s got some kind of special “investor friend” who is stringing her along and she’s hoping things will fall into place as she tries to create a buzz. Also trying to make herself look “in demand” hoping to get someone else to take her bait.
    Wow, I am in a charitable mood this morning!

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      She has looked physically-better lately. She’s lost some weight (and bloat?), and her arms looked toned in the photos in the last Cracken post.

      Whatever her issues are, for now, she’s got them a little more under control.

      Arguably. I mean, the I’m-starring-in-an-invisible-play and miscarriage claims are more “out there” than her usual crack-lies.

  28. Ari says:

    Is it okay for me to say that every since she has been in London she looks 10x better? Maybe it really suits her I dunno

  29. Ctkat1 says:

    I am so very disturbed by how far she is taking this delusion. To me, this is crazier than all of the other crack lies, because it is so easily disproven. She’s posing for a picture in front of a stage door to a theatre that has been running the same show (phantom) since the 80s, and will likely be running it beyond April 2015. So no, she’s not at her “First day of work.” The only reason to cast Lindsay is for the publicity, right? So why is she the only one talking about this production? I don’t know why this lie disturbs me more than the miscarriage one (or all the many others) but something about how blatantly false it is seems really disturbed.

    • msw says:

      I kind of wonder if she is doing it to self-sabotage. She knows she’ll get found out. Then she can cry about how no one believes her or gives her a chance.

    • Dean says:

      I dated a guy at the beginning of university who would lie about anything and everything, including easily, easily verifiable things. And serious things, too, like the made-up nut allergy (enough to land him in the hospital a few times – except when I’d offer to pick him up from the ER, he’d claim it wasn’t necessary – but not enough to keep him from regularly eating Blizzards at Dairy Queen or drinking an entire bottle of Frangelico (hazelnut liqueur!) during a party.) Then there was the 9-5 financial advisor job – for which he provided me a phone number and a business address – that was actually just him going off in a suit every morning and skateboarding downtown with his buddies. Needless to say, there was no job – not even an office (the phone number wasn’t connected and there were no businesses in the office building.) And I won’t say too much about the faked STD test (blood testing and the like are typically recorded on graph-type reports peppered with typing and medicalese, right? This thing was handwritten, photocopied and had clearly been yanked out of a ringed binder.)

      Those are some of the bigger whoppers, but there were smaller, totally pointless ones as well that were just so audacious, they didn’t bear up to even the smallest bit of scrutiny (“The sky is green!” sounds like something he’d come up with, and then he’d get pissy when you’d point out that no, it is quite clearly not green.) It was self-sabotage of the very highest order, and I was boggled that someone could be so cavalier about the truth, while at the same time being SUCH a piss poor liar. We weren’t together too long (turns out my truth was that I just didn’t care enough about him to help him through what was clearly a rather disturbing compulsion), but in the years since, I’ve wondered if he was able to kick the casual (and not so casual) lying habit or if he’s still just compulsively fibbing and lying his way through life.

  30. LMB says:

    Maybe she has a part in Warhorse, as the backside of the horse.

  31. Jgb979 says:

    With the cracken, rule# 1 now and forever more is “it’s all about the grift”.

    My guess is it’s one of two things:
    1. She’s hoping that by “working” she’ll show how employable she is, in hopes that some deluded sap like the Paul Schrader of British theater will be conned into giving her a paycheck.

    2. The more likely scenario-working is probably a condition to a long term visa in the UK. As a result, she’s doing just enough to con UK immigration officials into letting her party at whatever sleazy club she haunts on a nightly basis.

    This is a woman who couldn’t get out of bed at 3:00 in the afternoon to attend a gift magazine shoot Oprah gave her…….at her own damn house! Of course she’s not actually working

  32. Mindy says:

    I said it last week when she opened her mouth. THERE IS NO PRODUCTION IN THE WORKS. Go ahead and check around… If there was a production going forward in the fall, there would have been announcements by the producers. At the very least, the theatre would have been named by now. The girl is delusional.

    • miriam says:

      Completely agree, Mindy.

      If there was any truth to this then the producers of the play would have made an official announcement about this play already. They would want to be taking advantage of the fact people are writing and commenting on this casting (however stupid and ridiculous).

      As we have heard nothing from ANYONE else, this must all just be some pathetic publicity stunt from this dried up has-been.

  33. TQB says:

    Dude – what if it’s the other way around? What if someone is hustling the crackhustler? What if she’s the one being conned? I dunno, I hear “we want to cast you in our new play! Just come over here and…” and I think it’s a tale that’s been told to countless naive young people in the entertainment biz.

    I mean, i can’t for the life of me come up with what someone would be trying to con her out of that she wouldn’t give up for a shot of vodka and a little blow, but who am I to say.

  34. I think this would be David Mamet’s written response to the news that LiLo is casting herself in one of his plays.

    “What the F***!?!? If that f***ing f**k of a crackhead thinks she can just walk into any f**king theatre and declare a role in one of my f***ing plays, she can go f*** herself! F***!”

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

    • Happyhat says:

      “You stupid f****** c***. You, crackhead, I’m talking to you, s*******. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That’s right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, a******? You’re f****** s***. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid f****** c***, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with people? Oh, I’m gonna have your job, s*******.”

  35. msw says:

    I don’t use twitter, so I usually miss stuff… I just went to her page and Omg, no wonder she thinks everyone is buying the crap she is selling. Her twitter is full of butt-lickers.

  36. DailyNightly says:

    She probably got some role-playing sex gig at the local “Speedy Plow” whore house/crack den.

  37. jwoolman says:

    My first thought about the streaking was that it was a trust-building exercise, to show she hadn’t stolen anything…

    If the play-that-isn’t-there is all a scam to convince immigration to let her stay in the UK– we need to all shut up about it now. Shhhh! We want her to stay in London, right? All the judges in LA are probably passing the hat now to help make it happen.

  38. BobbieFisher says:

    Lohan just posted an instagram of herself in her underwear standing next to a flute of champagne at 3 in the afternoon in London. God. She has so much time on her hands. I guess after the read through on her “first day at work” – she got fired. She’s so delusional and mentally absent.

  39. Josefa says:

    LiLo has gone delulu.

    Terrible joke, like herself.

  40. BobbieFisher says:

    Lohan just deleted the instagram where she as posing in her underwear next to a glass of champagne. That proves she’s drinking champagne at 3 in the afternoon.

  41. In my childhood she’s the prettiest Hollywood actress for me, but when I’m getting older I realize she’s not just pretty, she’s HOT!

  42. BobbieFisher says:

    Well – it’s reality now. She’s doing a play, eight performances a week, in the West End. I’m taking bets. In a way – I can’t help but think of the movie “The Producers”. Insurance will cover their losses and they turn a profit if Lohan bails. But Lohan (like the hippie Hitler) will show up and be so bad – that it will be hilarious – and it will be a huge comedic hit and the Producers will lose their shirts. Who knows, maybe Lohan is in on the scam.