Star: Leo DiCaprio’s ex-lover says Leo was bad in bed, he only lasted a minute

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I’ve heard some of the rumors about Leonardo DiCaprio’s sex life. But you have to understand, I don’t always put a lot of stock in blind items. If you tell me that Leo and his posse made their way through a dozen wannabe models on a yacht in St. Tropez, sure, I’ll believe you. Because there’s enough photo evidence and anecdotal evidence to back it up. So, I tend to believe that Leo is a lazy guy. He hasn’t had to “work” for girlfriends/one-nighters in a long time. But even guys who don’t have to “work” for it still manage to make their conquests feel… I don’t know, appreciated? Not so much with Leo, at least according to an ex-lover. Back in the day, Leo hooked up with model/video girl Bobbie Brown. She says he’s a terrible lover.

Before Gisele Bundchen, Bar Refaeli or his current squeeze Toni Garrn, there was Bobbie Brown, aka the “Cherry Pie” girl from the infamous 1990 Warrant video. Bobbie tells Star that the two had a one-night stand.

And while Leo, 39, received high marks in one department (“He was… Titanic,” says Bobbie), he came up short in other areas. Not only was the actor a germophobe who grilled her about her sexual hygiene (he asked her if she’d been tested for gonorrhea), but sadly for Bobbie, Leo didn’t even last as long as one of his movie trailers.

In her telling, it was only about one minute into the act when he said: “Wait a second. Don’t move, Bobbie. We need to slow down.” And then… end scene!

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

To be fair, I think many “big” guys are like this – they think if they have a big dong, that’s all they need and they don’t put any more effort into it. Plus, you’ve got that added layer of celebrity, where Leo surrounds himself with yes-men who worship the ground he walks on, and maybe Leo just doesn’t believe there’s any room for improvement. So… look at these photos of the current Leo. Would you let him grunt through it for two minutes tops? Yeah, not so much. Maybe if there was jewelry involved.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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165 Responses to “Star: Leo DiCaprio’s ex-lover says Leo was bad in bed, he only lasted a minute”

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  1. eliza says:

    Gee, a dude who is bad in bed!!!!! Color me SHOCKED! No story here. I am sure plenty of People are.

    I have no idea if this story is true or not as it is Star magazine but I will say I dislike both men and women who feel the need to discuss how bad their partners are in bed be it one nighters or ex’s.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Yes, kissing and telling is tacky, regardless of gender.

      • FLORC says:

        I’m on the other sidee of this. Normally yes, kissing and telling is tacky, but this is an exception!

        Leo was a teen heart throb. Also, he’s the guy who dates young models. Always the same age. And they always get a career boost from him.
        Maybe it’s that these women are tossing themselves at a man who can’t last or doesn’t better himself in that area for a publicity boost. If he was good in bed I wouldn’t think that’s the only reason these ladies get down with him.

    • lisa2 says:

      @eliza..

      everything you said.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      +1478

    • Greata says:

      Totally Agree!!!!!!!!

    • Dame Snarkweek says:

      Tacky to run to the media but have to confess kissing and telling has enlivened countless lunch dates with my girlfriends. Sorry.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Oh, no, I mean in a public way, like this. Life ( and lunch) would not be complete without sharing with good friends.

      • Dame Snarkweek says:

        Lol, are you kidding? Your comments downthread will give me giggle fits for the restt of the weekend. I think you are all kinds of awesome and you keep proving it!

    • LeAnn Stinks says:

      It is probably true, it came from Bobbie’s tell all book. Like her or not, she has always been very candid about her life.

      • fairy godmother says:

        She neglected to say what a fab kisser he is- really he is!

      • Sabrine says:

        He’s probably one of those “three minute men.” There are lots of those out there. I’m being kind in giving him an extra couple of minutes.

    • SnarkGirl says:

      Agreed. I would be inclined to think this is a case of sour grapes on behalf of the model. Classic insult that so many women think is sooo devastating to a man (not really, girls): either insult a guys size or his performance.

      In this case, his size is pretty well known, so she can’t go that angle, so she says he was bad in bed. She’s probably just peeved she didn’t get more than a one night stand out of it.

    • Skittles4Marshawn says:

      Right. While this story is somewhat entertaining, if the comments were made regarding a female actress, I would probably be incensed. Sure, Leo likes casual sex and isn’t one to settle down — but he probably still values his privacy.

      Also, with casual sex, sometimes it can be kind of bad, or at least short. There’s a lot of excitement, but you don’t know your partner well. A one-night stand is not a good barometer for someone’s ability.

      I’m not claiming expertise in the area of casual sex here, but it’s also pretty smart to ask questions regarding STD’s that you wouldn’t normally ask a committed partner (at least not before every roll in the hay). If you’re having casual sex, so is this other person, and you can’t make assumptions about history. It’s not very romantic to ask about Gonorrhea, but it’s a favor to both himself and his future partners. (Use condoms anyway, kids!)

      But I am mad at Leo for not being the heartthrob romantic I was promised as a youth. DAMN HIM

  2. HappyMom says:

    ewwwww.

    • Vesta says:

      Omg, this story IS ewww. But also I could belive it…because it would explain how his young model girlfriends stand him as long as they do!

    • Eeeew indeed. I don’t really care for the kiss and tell, and quite frankly don’t give a hoot who is bad in bed in Hollywood, unless its Fassy or Hiddles, in which case I would be devastated. Bubble burst. But that would NEVER happen.

      • Lady Macbeth (Hiddles F) says:

        Yes it could, Highland Fashionista. Maybe not with Hiddles, but Fassy ducks into Gerard Butler’s sloppy seconds and Butler recycles Di Caprio ones. So sooner or later something will come out about Fassy too…

      • NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO.

        NO.

      • Lauren says:

        Leo looks robotic and boring in Wolf of Wall Street sex scenes. LEO has a whiny voice. Michael ‘ s performance in Shame is imbedded in my mind. His voice is perfection to me.

      • Lucretia says:

        To Lady Macbeth: Do we really, really have to refer to any woman as “sloppy seconds?” I’m no fan of the woman in question, but I’m not going to shame her for dating more than one man, or many men.

      • Dame Snarkweek says:

        Sorry Lu, sloppy seconds shaming patrol doesn’t apply here. Technically, the term is supposed to refer to sex with a woman who has, literally, just had sex with another man. Thus you can dduce the true, vulgar meaning of the term. I think you interpreted the phrase to have a negative spin as far as judging a woman for having multiple partners as a way of life. That, of course, is a personal choice and should not be judged or come under fire.

    • Minty says:

      Agreed with the ewwwwwwww. These pics immediately brought to mind Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now…. Not good

  3. Kiddo says:

    “Tales of the One Night Stands” day here on Celebitchy.We should give them the epic horror movie trailer treatment, ending with blood-curdling screams.
    First two in the series:
    “The Weeping Wiener”
    “The Long Dong With A Short Song”

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Or sobbing, if the trailer features The Gos.

      I want a time-stamp on this story. If true, this had to be a LONG time ago, like when people actually cared about Bobbie Brown. If Leo was like, 17, I’m not gonna bag on the guy for premature ejaculation, you know?

      Also, sex talk about Leo makes me feel really nauseous…

      • Kiddo says:

        Why? You don’t consider highly uncoordinated Kung-Fu kicks as foreplay? 🙂
        (I just can’t be serious any longer today, sorry.)

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Long Dong with a Short Song: Starring Leonardo DiCaprio with Justin Bieber as The Dong.

    • mia girl says:

      Love this idea Kiddo.

      But don’t forget
      “The In-Character Crotch”

    • HA! THIS!

      Here is my script for the trailer.

      EXT: A YACHT SAILS ACROSS THE MEDITERRANEAN. BIKINI-CLAD MODELS AND A-LISTERS DRINK CHAMPAGNE ON THE OUTDOOR DECK

      VO: IN A WORLD where the currency is fame and size DEFINITELY matters…

      CUT TO: SHOT OF MODEL STANDING IN THE CROWD BETWEN GEORGE CLOONEY AND ZAC EFRON. SHE SLAPS ZAC AND THROWS A DRINK IN GEORGE’S FACE.

      VO: One man seems to have it all

      CUT TO: SHOT OF LEO DECAPRIO MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE CROWD, WHICH PARTS LIKE MOSES PARTING THE SEA.

      VO: But one woman knew his secret…

      CUT TO: SHOT OF BOBBI BROWN LYING ON HER BACK IN BED LOOKING ANNOYED AS LEO ROLLS OFF OF HER, TURNS HIS BACK TO HER AND GOES OFF TO SLEEP.

      MONTAGE: SHOTS OF LEO RUNNING ON BEACH, PARTYING, CAVORTING WITH MODELS, INTERSPERSED WITH SHOTS OF VARIOUS A-LISTERS AND MODELS, ALL LYING UNSATISFIED IN BED, ALL WITH THAT SAME ANNOYED LOOK ON THEIR FACES.

      VO: This summer, he’s coming to a theatre near you. In exactly two minutes or less.

      CLOSE SHOT OF TONI GARRN LOOKING UNSATISFIED AND ANNOYED.

      FADE TO BLACK

      • mia girl says:

        Perfect!

        I say we make a Kickstarter campaign to get this and other “Tales of ALister One Night Stands” movies made.

        We can have our very own Celebitchy Film Festival.

      • RedWeatherTiger says:

        Except he is a germ-phobe, so he wouldn’t roll off her to go to sleep–he’d run to the shower right away, a move which is even more of a turn-off.

      • Aaah, see, this is why there are multiple drafts of screenplays. You’re right.

      • Dame Snarkweek says:

        Brilliant!

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Ha ha ha…YES! I would pay to see this.

      • Lady Macbeth (Hiddles F) says:

        I would pay to see this too!!

      • Green_Eyes says:

        By: Word Pr0n Productions 😉 lol

      • Kiddo says:

        Nicely done, You forgot the blood-curdling scream, though, my only criticism.

      • Oooh…the blood-curdling scream. I did forget this and a few other cliched-trailer-plot devices. Namely:

        1. The small child’s voice singing in voiceover with music box playing
        2. Aforementioned blood curdling scream
        3. handsome buff guy (possibly shirtless) in aviator glasses squinting longingly at camera, directly into lens.
        4. kissing in the rain
        5. finding the altar of the serial killer

        I could go on and on…

      • Kiddo says:

        Highland Fashionista, Excellent. There should be dizzying black and white hand-held shakey camera scenes too, lit with only a flashlight. And a scary ring, maybe on the long dong.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Oh, please write lyrics to Long Dong with a Short Song. That would make my year.

    • harleyb says:

      Your comment below didn’t have a reply option, so I am doing it here….When I read:

      “Why? You don’t consider highly uncoordinated Kung-Fu kicks as foreplay?”

      LOL!!! Now, I fully understand why they have so many ‘cautions’ on the sides of coffee cups….HOT means HOT! even when spit not spilt!

  4. roz says:

    And to think Miranda Kerr hit this and Bieber. Two days apart if we go by blind items. Which actually makes me wonder about how Orlando is in bed…

    I was explaining to someone a few days ago about Leo and his p*ssy posse broing it up ways (because on Tumblr he’s just known as the perpetual Oscar underdog and people cheer for him) and it got me thinking about the days of Titanic and Romeo + Juliet, before he partied his prime away. Sigh.

    • MrsB says:

      Yes…hard to believe this is the same guy who covered my walls all those years ago.

      • Size Does Matter says:

        Remember how hot he was in The Departed? I fell in love with him all over again after that. His “resort” look, not working so much for me.

      • MrsB says:

        He was hot in The Departed! But I’m afraid after all these pictures we’ve been subjected to this summer, this is all I will ever be able to see, no matter how hot he is looking at the time.

    • Dee says:

      If she slept with Leo too. Why isn’t bloom throwing punches at him too? He dines with with one man who allegedly slept with his wife and throws punches at the other? Lol what a mess

      • Mebee says:

        @Dee
        I wondered about this too! Supposedly Orlando was sitting next to Leo when the Bieber incident happened and Leo was one of the people clapping when Orlando threw a punch. Strange if Leo and Bieber both hooked up with Miranda.

      • jinni says:

        Leo has power within the industry that Orlando works in, while Bieber doesn’t. I’m sure making an enemy with Leo who has connections with directors and actors wouldn’t be good for Bloom’s already struggling career.

      • Jegede says:

        @Dee
        First Leo did not throw it back in his face

        Second Leo is far too powerful in HW for Bloom – with faltering career – to ostracise.

      • don't kill me i'm french says:

        @jinni
        Before this story,who knew they’re even friends?

      • RedWeatherTiger says:

        Methinks Orlando might need to be throwing punches every which way if he attacked everyone Miranda was ever with…

      • BOXES full of Pepe says:

        don’t kill me i’m french – When that story came out the tabloids kept running pics of Leo greeting Miranda and Orlando on a red carpet. That was it. There didn’t seem to be much of anything suggesting they were really friends before all that. It was only after they announced the split that Bloom began hanging out with DiCaprio all the time like this. And the Leo rumor had a lot more meat to it than the Bieber thing, with eyewitness reports and months of following Leo around on Kerr’s part. Looking at how Bloom’s behaving now and looking at Kerr and Bloom’s on/off, laissez faire, not seeing each other for weeks and months, relationship, I don’t think “cheating” was what happened in those hook ups. And that’s where I’m going to leave it, LOL.

        Mebee – It’s so high school. In fact it seems it wasn’t the first time Leo blew of Bieber and more of the reports make it sound like the whole thing started when Bloom and DiCaprio mean girled Bieber. I think Bloom just got embarrassed and didn’t want to lose face in that room and be shown up by Bieber. Both knew between bodyguards and entourages, nothing would happen. And the clapping is straight up school cafeteria fight, isn’t it?

      • Didn’t Orly throw a punch because something tacky Bieber said to him? Two people who have slept with the same person can have a civilised time…even fun together. It’s Bieber’s toddler behaviour that was the problem, not his presence

      • Jegede says:

        @Boxes full of Pepe
        They were both known to be involved in environmental/green issues together, so like many in HW they were acquaintances.

        But you’re right these constant sightings of two of them hanging/partying together appeared after the rumors

        (Maybe Leo got the guilts which made him embrace cuckold Orlando more LOL)

      • Moi says:

        @RedWeatherTiger: I agree.

      • BOXES full of Pepe says:

        Jegede – No doubt they were acquaintances (who call themselves friends, like everybody in HW), but yeah it’s really funky how there was little to go on before Kerr was sitting on Leo’s lap in clubs. Then Kerr and Bloom weren’t seen at all with Leo for more than a year. Now Bloom’s like part of his gang. You give yourself a headache trying to figure out Hollyweird.

  5. TheOriginalKitten says:

    Please don’t stereotype big-donged men, Kaiser.
    I’ve been with plenty who put in work.

    God, this story made me laugh so hard. Again, it’s Star so probably BS but I want it to be true.

    • Kaiser says:

      I think it is true! This isn’t some unnamed source, and I think this woman has talked about Leo before. They hit it and it was bad.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        If true, then awesome.

        I still want to know when it happened though.
        Just based on the fact that she’s never modeled for VS, this has to have been 20 years ago or more…

      • Pandy says:

        I thought I commented on this earlier, but not seeing post so apologies if I’m double posting. Bobbi Brown (ex wife of Jani Layne of Warrant) is currently on Ex Wives of Rock. She write a bio and in it, says that Leo is indeed well-endowed and that it was a brief encounter after much chasing on his end. She does have some profile and I haven’t read that she’s been sued for writing about him … so … sounds true.

    • Marty says:

      Honestly, I find myself agreeing with Kaiser though. My friends and I have all experienced this. Maybe it’s an age thing?(I’m 27) Maybe men realize as they get older they have to put more work in. That despite popular myth we don’t just spontaneously orgasm when our cloths come off.

      There ARE a few men who are exempted from this of course…..

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Look, it all depends on the guy’s personality. Some guys are inherently selfish. The last guy I dated that was all about himself in bed, was average (at BEST) in size.

        That being said, I once dated a guy who had record-breaking smallness–but possessed the most amazing skill set I’ve ever encountered.

        Sadly, I had to cut him loose after he told me that the only way he can come is from a beej (because he’s THAT small!)

        That’s like saying “The only thing I can eat is cake.”
        Like, I’m suppose to bake you a cake every night? Nah dude, that sh*t is only for special occasions, sweetheart.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        @Marty Plus, they gain more experience as they get older, just as we do, and they don’t spontaneously combust 30 seconds after they touch you. It’s kind of a shame – men are so beautiful in their 20s, but lots of them are selfish and below average at sex.

        OKitten, my Gerkin experience was awful because I couldn’t tell if it was in or out, and I’m not sure he could, either. Sometimes he’d be laboring away and I’d be thinking, uh, honey, I think you’re just out in the air, but I’m not sure. Just didn’t work for me. If someone goes to the trouble to have sex with me, I like to be able to tell.

      • Marty says:

        This rang so true and made laugh! Thanks TOK!

      • PunkyMomma says:

        @OriginalKitten – I’m with you on some guys being all about themselves. One particular dude comes to mind and all I’ll say is that I’ve had Pap smears that were more exciting.

        Leo. Ewwww. Not even for Harry Winston, Kaiser.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Goodnames-
        Oh I know all too well The Gherkin Experience. That’s the thing about small-donged men—-they eff differently. They’re more prone to the dreaded Jackhammer Technique ™ because they can’t get any leverage.

        Gross.

        Like great, dude, no orgasm, only bruised hip bones.

        DO BETTER, GHERKIN.

        Am I harsh?

      • Marty says:

        Harsh? Frankly, I think you are being kind and generous.

        Let’s not bring up the Jackhammer Technique *shudders*. I wish my experience with that HAD been a Gherkin. My poor, poor cervix.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Harsh – not at all. Just realistic. Jackhammer so describes it. I used to try being on top, but it kept popping out. Memories… Gag

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Oh poor Marty. I’ve had that experience as well.

        There really should be a Jackhammer Technique ™ PSA so men will learn that none of us like that crap.

        “This is a cervix. This is a cervix post-Jackhammer. Men: don’t Jackhammer your woman-it hurts her lady parts and feels like sh*t.”

        This message brought to you by Every Woman on The Face of The Planet.

      • Marty says:

        Seriously.

        That particular guy was only the second guy I had sex with and I swear, I thought he broke my vagina.

      • Kiddo says:

        Great thread.LMAO

      • Dame Snarkweek says:

        Amazing thread, ladies.
        *wipes tears*

      • Lady Macbeth (Hiddles F) says:

        What a thread lol!!

      • littlestar says:

        OH MY GOD. I am laughing so hard at you ladies right now. Thank you. Just thank you.

        I’ll never look at gherkins the same way again now.

      • Lady D says:

        I’m going to be giggling for hours after reading this. Not to mention every time I bake a cake from now on. Thank you so, so much!

      • Fitzie says:

        Am loving this thread!! Okay I am 43 and have been with all ages through the years. Am currently enjoying a 53 yr old who is nicely endowed. He is f’ing fantastic. Talented, patient, knows his way around a woman, and can last. I was surprised but am happily enjoying each moment. So younger guys may have some benefits, but don’t count the older guys out!

    • JennySerenity says:

      I’m choking on my coffee- this is some hilarious shit. Fortunately, all I have to do to stop the giggles when the boss walks by, is look at that pic of Leo. That gut, stringy hair and those moobs on me for any reason? Eww- just NO. I would have have to sac punch him if he got anywhere near that close.

      • This is the BEST comment thread I’ve read in a long, long time. Remember that Sex and the City episode where SJP referred to “Jackrabbit sex” and her gal pal (forgot his character’s name) says “Are straight men still allowed to do that!?

        Exactly. The only place you see that kind of sex is in bad porn, and sometimes not even then. MEN OF THE UNIVERSE, STOP THE INSANITY.

      • JennySerenity says:

        HA, jackrabbit sex is a total SATC classic! And I have to say, guys who are well endowed are *not* always lousy in bed. I’m lucky enough to have one of those guys- I rule. 😀

        Sorry, but I guess I’m a size queen. When I was single, I was with one guy who was so small I couldn’t feel a damned thing. And no, he did not make up for it in other ways. Poor dude. He’s probably still single without a clue.

      • littlestar says:

        Yeah, not even for the biggest diamond necklace on earth! Leo is THE prime example of what non-stop partying does to a person *gag*.

    • kri says:

      It CANNOT be a true story cause it said he was hygiene freak. I mean, how could that be the case. Look^^^^there.

    • Pandy says:

      I’m a huge fan of Ex Wives of Rock (which Bobbi is on), so I read her autobiography this past winter. This is what she says about Leo in her book. He’s huge but it didn’t last long.

    • Lauren says:

      I had a big dong 11 years ago, after my divorce. Honestly thought it was a blessing, since my hubby Ex was small and limp. Awfulness. I was in the ER. every week for 7 weeks. I was crippled and had chronic bladder infections. The nurses would smirk at me, then look at my boyfriend. He was 5’6 with small feet and hands. He would last for a longtime and was very giving. We broke up because I couldn’t deal with the pain after the pleasure. Was missing too much work. Ran out of sick days.

    • The Original Kitten- But there are also plenty that just depend on their size. They think that’s all they need to bring to the table. The gherkin, I’m sorry but I cant go down. I literally gave up after 3 minutes because it was just too small. You’re much nicer about it than I am. I love when they hold your legs up because thats the only way you can feel them. The sign of a bad lover.

      GoodNamesAllTaken – ugh if only that were true. Bringing up the gherkin again, oh god All I could think was ‘just hurry up and get off me”. I don’t mean to be a size queen but screw it maybe I should be open about lest I have an experience like that again.

      Oh but I do love when they’re small but are too deluded to realize it. Like have all of the girls you’ve been with, were they blind or just really, really nice?

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        The weird thing is, my ex was very successful with women. He was quite handsome, but even after they slept with him they still came back for more. Of course, I married him, so I hardly have room to talk, but I was very young and naive and I actually thought that sex would be better after we got married. For the life of me, I can’t imagine wtf I based that brilliant assumption on. I sometimes want to go back in time and grip the 22 year old me by the shoulders, shake hard and scream “dicks don’t grow, you idiot! This is it! Forever! Run, child, run!” LOL.

  6. Dee says:

    Eeeew at the pictures he looks so bad.

  7. jinni says:

    Maybe this is how most of these girls get through being his “main” for some fame. They probably think it’s a godsend that it will all be over in a minute or two and than they can go back to enjoying the perks of being his girlfriend.

  8. Triple Cardinal says:

    “Maybe if there was jewelry involved.”

    HA! Now that’s funny!

    But I’ll posit a possibility: Mr. Wonderful lasted only a minute … and **that was deliberate.**

    What better way to keep control?

  9. JH says:

    “Grunt through it…”
    You, Kaiser, are a poet.
    This made me laugh.

  10. Jenny12 says:

    To give a small amount of credit, Bobbie Brown slept with him when he was late teens or early 20s. Hopefully, he has improved since then. Or at least has more self control.

  11. Allie says:

    I can’t believe he had the nerve to ask her if she had any STDs! What a jerk! Rolling my eyes here. So far, these “shocking” stories are completely lame. Taylor swift talks about her cats, Selena cried about Bieber, Leo is bad in bed? Can we have original stories please?

    • Jay says:

      OMG YES. I was like… is she seriously looking down on him and calling him a germophobe for asking is she has been tested?! Ridiculous.

    • Skittles4Marshawn says:

      This is so silly! Responsible sluts, FTW.

  12. Talie says:

    He looks limp in general.

  13. QQ says:

    Big Donged Dudes DO tend to be that way in my experience, Doubly worse if they are Actually good looking…Ive encountered ONE big BIIGG Massive dude that was into putting efforts, the rest have been lame lays, which is when I realized: Fuck This Baby Legs Having Dudes, My Cervix and over cavities do not need this hassle, Skills Snob over Size Queening from here on out! – No Regrets!

    • Lady Macbeth (Hiddles F.) says:

      hahahaha I’ve no idea about big donged dudes, I avoid them like the plague! Well maybe it was not my loss though 😉

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I love a big one myself, but I have a friend who says, “that’s just not necessary.” Lol

      • Lady Macbeth (Hiddles F) says:

        Yes, exactly. The average dong is ok for me, whilst the skilled part is absolutely necessary. A lame man in bed is awful..

    • PunkyMomma says:

      +1,000,000

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Ladies-we don’t need to choose! In fact, we must demand excellence!

      Size Queen AND Skill Set Snob FTW!

    • I Choose Me says:

      Y’all are straight up killing me on this thread.

      Sings. *Me no want no one minute man*

  14. Kit says:

    (“He was… Titanic,” says Bobbie),

    I am dying over this for some reason. Oh my God! I knew once I got married and had a kid I would become one of those lame-o chicks who finds bad sex puns hilarious.

  15. FingerBinger says:

    I guess that explains why all his girlfriends are getting younger and younger.

  16. MCraw says:

    Kaiser, baby…. Some big schlongs actually know what they’re doing. And it’s maaahhhvelous!

  17. Savanna says:

    HAHAHAHAHHA.

    I know it’s probably a delusional I-don’t-have-to-try thing, but I still don’t get it. What’s the point of banging models if you’re not gonna savor it?

    And because I’ll take any excuse to talk about my man’s package…it’s amazing when a guy is big AND cares about enjoying it, and about YOU enjoying it. It doesn’t matter if you’re well-endowed. It’s always better when you put a little effort into it, you know?

    Plus I mean a minute totally excludes the possibility he was going to try to let “ladies first”.

  18. serena says:

    Ahahahahah so much for all the supermodels he banged (didn’t they spread rumors about it? lol)

  19. Rhiley says:

    After Lainey posted that video of Leo dancing at Coachella and wrote something along the lines of “this is how he moves inside you” I have thought, yeah, it looks like it would be pretty bad.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      Lainey had sex with Dicaprio???

      • Rhiley says:

        No, Lainey did not have sex with Leo. I wrote that all very lazily. Ma apologies. The video was sent to her from someone and the someone wrote, ‘And then she came to the conclusion, after watching the video, that he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s inside of you.’

    • HappyMom says:

      I need brain bleach.

    • harleyb says:

      The way a man dances tells you a lot more about his bed tech than the size of this hands or feet IMO.

  20. Algernon says:

    You know how every Halloween on Jezebel, commenters tell scary ghost stories? We should tell best/worst sex stories.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I have a weirdest one. Once I had sex with this guy. Or I didn’t. I honestly don’t know. I wasn’t (all that) drunk. It’s really hard to explain, but I couldn’t tell if we had sex or not. He acted like he thought we did. It was just so brief, like one second, and there were indications that it happened but I didn’t feel anything. It was not a teeny peenie situation. Afterwards, he said “I’m sorry.” For…what? The briefness? The fact that it didn’t happen? I could hardly say, “did we just have sex? Sort of?” Hmm. Guess I’ll never know.

      The sad part of the story is that’s not the worst sex I’ve ever had. LOL.

      • I Choose Me says:

        Yeah. My worse sexual experience involves a jab into the wrong orifice. He was so clumsy and kept missing and I tried to guide him but touching it made him go off and the whole thing was just . . . no bueno.

        Shame because I really liked the guy and he was a damned good kisser which made me think he would be promising.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        hahahahahaha! hilarious!

      • Jedi says:

        this whole comment section has made my friday. amazingness all around, ladies!

      • Mel says:

        And I thought I was the only one!
        Only, in my case it WAS an itsy-bitsy-teeny-“wieny” situation. Because I sure wasn’t drunk.
        Although God knows I now wish I had been.

        🙂

      • Illyra says:

        “I could hardly say, “did we just have sex? Sort of?””

        LOLOL

    • My worst experience is on my blog. I think if people get to laugh about it, it lessens the humiliation so I put it out there for the world to see. Somehow knowing it makes people laugh made the experience easier to deal with. Name and shame. I have never met a bigger asshole in my life. He was a good kisser, but the sex and his personality, well it’s all on the blog.

      I guess to the people who don’t like name and shaming, different strokes. It’s an outlet.

  21. Dany says:

    telling a magazine how xy was in bed is super tacky.

  22. itsetsyou says:

    Excuse me, what kind of person does NOT ask his sexual partner if he or she was tested for STD recently?! I don’t care what it sounds like and if it kills the mood. This woman is crazy to think asking that is being a “germophobe.”

    • Maria says:

      i read this and was like WTF. that is the one thing if true that would speak for him.

    • Chris says:

      Why would you ask? In the heat of passion most people would lie if they thought an honest answer might mean that they’re going to miss out. Just practice safe sex.

  23. Chris says:

    That’s weird for some reason I thought she’d married The Warrant singer. As for the constant criticism of Leo’s appearance I actually don’t think he looks that bad. He’s got a bit a weight on him but not that much.

    • JR says:

      I read her book (don’t judge me, you guys… ’80s rockers are my kryptonite) and this was after her divorce from Jani Lane (Warrant) AND after her engagement to Tommy Lee crashed & burned. I’m guessing the Tommy Lee relationship may have been why Leo was so inquisitive about the STDs. Anyone else remember the Hep C rumors about Pam & Tommy? And if Bobbie said Leo was “titanic” after being with Tommy… wow. Way to go, Leo.

      • Chris says:

        You read her book? Ha, that’s awesome. The Hep C rumors about Pam and Tommy are more than rumors they actually do have Hep C. But Hep C generally isn’t considered an STD. It’s usually passed on through sharing injecting equipment such as needles and spoons Or from drawing water from a glass that someone has also drawn from with an infected needle.

  24. Hissyfit says:

    I still can’t stop laughing over that ninja moves! He look so gross now.

  25. TG says:

    I find it interesting how arrogant some women are about men’s performance in bed. If a guy only lasts 30 seconds maybe he isn’t in to you. If it is a one night stand and he is drunk that could also explain things. But also I get the feeling many women just lay there expecting the man to pleasure them and if he doesn’t then it means he is bad in bed and they run their mouth and tell everyone when really it means the female is bad it bed and the guy isn’t in to her anyway. Obviously if you are dating the guy and he always performs this way then yes he is bad in bed but a one night stand is not the way to judge a guy. I can’t stand Leo but this woman sounds desperate as if she is some prize all men should be lining up for. I have co-workers like her who haven’t figured out they are boring and that is why they end up with boring lays.

    • Mel says:

      If he wasn’t “into” her, then why go into her, if you’ll forgive the pun?
      I may agree , more or less, with the other things you’ve said, but a man not lasting because he doesn’t like the woman enough is just… well, implausible, to say the least. 🙂
      If anything, the opposite is sometimes true.

    • Illyra says:

      As unfair as it seems, basically, it IS the man’s job to turn on the woman. If he can get an erection then she’s already played her most important role just by being attractive enough to cause it. If he doesn’t know how to confidently lead/be dominant, then 90% of women will have no real arousal in response to him no matter what he does, and then what is she supposed to do? Fake it? Generally speaking, if a man knows how to lead sexually then the woman will be going crazy with lust and not the least bit “frigid”. If he doesn’t, she’ll just be bored out of her mind and want it to be over with.

      Of course there are exceptions, but this is the general rule. Very few men are masterful lovers, which is why the ones who are can so often get away with being *ssholes or sponges, and still have women throwing themselves at them.

      • Anne tommy says:

        Wow! I came late- no pun intended-to this thread given that the subject did not seem that enthralling but I have learned things on here that I never knew before…the screenplay sounds great, but I think the word schlong has to be in there somewhere, handily it rhymes with the other word…

  26. wolfpup says:

    This seems like a funny, haha situation, but it’s really not because it hurts people. It is possibly funny at lunch with girlfriends (and strictly confidential). But this man must be mortified, in the same way that we might be, if someone were making fun of the way that we do it. Even if the dude is filthy rich, and gets almost any girl he wants, the bedroom is still a private conversation between two people. He is a mere man and is being humiliated. This is probably the most sensitive area for a man because their ego is parked here. Men are going to avoid women who smirk at *any man* in this way. Have a heart!

    Whoever kisses and tells the WORLD (!) deserves a boycott. Geez, look what happened to poor bachelorette Andy, when what should have remained private, was broadcast on national media. Now she’s supposedly a slut. It seems like these ex-forlorn lovers, have very bad intentions. Look at how they have deeply hurt and embarrassed someone who trusted them. Shame!

    • wolfpup says:

      Imagine if you went to bed with a guy, and told the world with headlines that one of your boobs was smaller than the other? Or something else that is private? We wear clothes for a reason, and unless we are nudists, we should feel safe in sharing.

      That said, most comments made are seriously funny, but any guy is going to end up feeling a bit mortified.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I agree, and said so way up top, as did several other people. I think it’s hilarious to hear the stories anonymously on here, or to confide in a few friends, but I think it’s really mean to publicly broadcast something private and embarrassing about someone with whom you’ve been intimate. Just tacky and mean. I joke on here about my ex husband ‘s tiny penis, but I have never told anyone he knows about it, nor would I, even though I can’t stand him. That’s just not cool.

  27. Jayna says:

    Let’s just be honest here. She was a pickup probably late at night when he was drunk and horny and he just wanted to get off. He didn’t care about some great lovemaking session. He didn’t care about the woman and her pleasure. I’m sure many men have been selfish that way in their sex life when single with a hookup and it really doesn’t have anything to do with they are bad in bed. They were just bad in bed with you, someone they could give two sh ts about and drunk and it’s over before they can control it. He probably was embarrassed, I would hope. I don’t see Giselle as a woman who would spend years with a selfish lover who is a premature ejaculator and over in a minute. She’s Brazilian. They are passionate women. If he had an ongoing problem, they wouldn’t have lasted that many years.

    • Mel says:

      Brazilians are like any other nationality: there are millions of them, and each one is different. Some are “passionate”, others aren’t.

  28. idontknowyouyoudontknowme says:

    These comments are gold, but I do agree that maybe we are being a bit harsh and extra critical on the guys…I dunno… anything above 18 cm is too big imo.. that’s the perfect size, nice looking but sill manageable 😀

    Being super petite, I don’t want pain instead of pleasure, neither in my cervix or jaw.
    If the guy has good technique, is into you and is eager to please, it’s all that matters..

    Back to Leo, I’m sure he is just entitled and therefore lazy, but Id rather remember him in his glory days and imagine he was great :]

    • Mrs. Darcy says:

      um…cannot compute metric…are you saying you’ve seen something bigger than 9 inches? OY!

  29. WalkenOnSunshine says:

    OT, but how funny would it have been if instead of just clapping for Orly when he went for Beiber (four for you Orlando), Leo ran in and ninja kicked him like he’s doing in that last photo. That would have actually been the best thing ever.

  30. Emily C. says:

    There is not enough jewelry in the world.

    Btw, every time I’ve had piv sex with a man for the very first time, they last about two minutes tops, and I have never been with a guy who didn’t care about me getting off. So if she only had sex with the guy exactly once — not multiple times the first night, but just ONCE — well, I’m not surprised. I still think Leonardo diCaprio is completely disgusting though.

  31. mazomazohyst says:

    Not to defend Leo or anything, but sometimes people have a bad sex day. I mean, no one’s sexual performance is the same every day. And having a dude stick it in isn’t the only way to good sex. That’s such teenager-way of thinking.

    Aynway, talking explicitely about your sex-life in public (famous person or not) is tacky and tmi and more than I ever wanted to know about Leo. I just want him to do movies. He’s a dork anyways.

    Btw, all these models that fall into bed with him are using him as much as he’s using them, so whatever. Also, as long as they’re legal who cares?

  32. Kat says:

    Whether or not this is true, it is utterly déclassé for this woman to say that. You just don’t.

  33. A_Lister_Sister says:

    My friend dated Leo once and it was not the case as it was with this woman in the article saying he lasted a minute. My friend said Leo was in her top 3 list of great sex. From the details she told me of her time with Leo he was an attentive lover, massaged her, very affectionate and a great kisser as well as “Titanic”.

    Maybe Leo had too much to drink that night he had the one night stand with the Brown woman in this article or maybe he just wanted to get off and didn’t give a crap about her.

    I have been with guys who are drunk and were minute men but when they were not under the influence they lasted an hour. Sometimes when I have been with guys who were tired this can happen too. I dated this pro beach volleyball player in Manhattan Beach and we hooked up after he played all day for hours in a tournament. We partied that night, drinking and dancing to celebrate his winning and got a little drunk and he came in like a minute. He apologized that night and said he was just really tired from the long day. The next time we had sex he was just fine endurance wise.
    So to base a persons sex life off of a one night stand is not fair. From what My GF said about Leo totally contradicks (spelling error on purpose, pun intended) what Bobbi Brown experienced with Leo.

    • Skittles4Marshawn says:

      Yeah, I made a similar comment above. You can’t judge someone’s overall ability based on a one-night stand. The perils of casual sex include it being bad sometimes because there is more excitement and you are not as attuned to your partner. Hell, sometimes committed partners have bad sex!

  34. Mrs. Darcy says:

    I remember this woman wrote a book a while ago and the excerpt about Leo was when he was really young, like a teenager. She tried to portray him as really into her and innocent. Not sure why it is headline news now, I guess she’s still trying to dine out on it? Not saying it’s not still possibly the case, but a more recent account would be more relevant/interesting. It’s just cashing in on blind vices, which are numerous and have incredibly variable accounts (like comment above), so who’s to know. He’s never been accused of being a creep or abusive in any way unlike so many others so I’m not inclined to judge him aside from his obvious stunted maturity, which just makes me shrug and assume you’d get a frat boy level of sweet love from Leo, not a shocker.

    • A_Lister_Sister says:

      I did not mention that I also met Leo through my friend I mentioned above and he was such a gentleman. I did not get the frat boy mentality to him at all. He was very humble, calm, polite and soft spoken, not a loud mouth rowdy attention whore you see with so many other guys. He was also not drinking that much compared to the other people at the party. To me he came off like a sensitive soul.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        Ah, good to know. I guess frat boy is just the image we get of his non stop party posse, but I do appreciate his charity work. I didn’t meet Leo per se, but I did see him at a small party in the West Village about 15 yrs ago. And he was kind of creepily half reclined on a bed surrounded by girls, but you know he was a young guy, with women throwing themselves at him. Ok so not much change there lol!

        We actually made eye contact and it was weird, because I was like “Dude, seriously” with the situation, he was sort of giving me “the eye” whilst surrounded by chicks, so as a young hipper than though NY girl I was way too cool for that scene lol! It sounds like some b.s. internet story but there it is.

        I had a few encounters with other celebs in NY so it’s weird when you see a famous person there, you’re almost numbed to it and don’t really think about it until after the fact, like “What?!” Like friends would come visit me and freak out if we saw someone (yeah the Leo thing would have been embarassing) but in NY it’s just not the done thing to wig out or speak to people uninvited so you just internalize it and maybe freak out a tiny bit later while no one is watching you! I can buy that he’s not all bad, it’s easy to judge him for dating infant supermodels but he interviews like a thoughtful human being and does a lot of good for the environment.