The Affleck-Garner divorce: therapy for 2 years, separated for 10 months

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Divorcing After 10 Years of Marriage - FILE PHOTOS

Many facts are coming out about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s divorce, which was predicted in surprising detail by the tabloids. One thing that Radar Online and The National Enquirer got wrong is the fact that Ben and Jen did not file or announce their divorce prior to their 10 year anniversary. They announced a day after their anniversary, which was on June 29th. This seems to indicate that Garner had a hand in the announcement date, however outlets are bending over backwards to claim otherwise.

There’s been some confusion (on my part) as to what a ten year marriage means in California divorce law. A marriage of ten years or more is considered a “long duration” marriage. This means that spousal support can be awarded to the lower-earning spouse, at a judge’s discretion, until they no longer need it. (Shorter marriages typically mean that spousal support will only continue for half the duration of the marriage.) California is considered a “Community Property” state in that earnings during the marriage by both spouses are community property from the onset. In a long duration marriage, the lower earning spouse can also go after a higher percentage of their partner’s earnings. US Magazine has more from a legal expert. All of this seems to benefit Garner.

Here are some of the many stories that have come out following the news that Affleck and Garner are over. People Magazine alone has several follow-ups, and multiple outlets have “exclusive” insider statements including E!, US Magazine, Page Six and TMZ. Garner and Affleck are obviously working hard to control the press. You get the impression that they’re willing to admit to certain “acceptable” problems, but that they’re trying to keep a lock down on Ben’s infidelity. They’re also stressing that this divorce is amicable and that they will peacefully co-parent.

They were in therapy for two years
Several articles mention that Ben and Jen were in therapy for two years. TMZ adds that “Ben did not go out and did not womanize … Jen complained he just drank and gambled too much… [they’re just] 2 people who want to live their lives differently.” We’ve heard variations of this claim before.

The “10 year rule” was not a consideration in their filing date?
These two do not have a prenup and their net worth is valued at a combined $105-115 million. Affleck’s net worth is around $75 million while Garner’s is at about $40 million. Both TMZ and E! are claiming that the divorce date is a complete coincidence and has nothing to do with their tenth anniversary. This is the party line, and it sounds wholly unlikely to me. TMZ: “As for the “10 year rule”… we’re told 2 things: A) their decision had nothing to do with it B) she’s loaded and doesn’t need support.E!: “their split had nothing to do with their anniversary on Monday… the timing was simply a coincidence and in no way had to do with ‘money reasons‘”

They’ve been separated for 10 months
E! Online: “They have… been in a trial separation for 10 months, during which time Affleck has been staying at hotels.People is more vague about their separation date. “They’ve been separated for a few months but will continue to work together as co-parents and as two people who still care about each other.”

They both want what’s best for their children
People’s source: “This should not be an ugly divorce. They plan on co-parenting and doing absolutely everything in the best interest of the kids.”

Ben will be living in another residence on their same property
Page Six: “Ben, who has been staying in hotels in recent months, will live on the property of their Brentwood marital home, but will not share the main house, we’re told.” Multiple other reports repeat this same claim. If this is the case why were moving vans spotted there? (Update: it’s been reported that Garner is remodeling the master bedroom.) Why was Ben living in hotels for 10 months if he could have presumably used this other residence the whole time?

Their divorce will be amicable
Page Six:This isn’t going to end up in a dramatic court case, they are trying to resolve it as quickly and easily as possible. Ben and Jennifer have been separated for more than six months. They have been seeing counselors for years. The situation is that people change and they grow apart.

Radar has a related report that claims that Ben and Jen are committed to keeping the sordid details of their breakup under wraps. All of these stories across the gossip press support that. Radar, which again broke this story, also claims that the former couple has given talking points to their friends with an emphasis on the positive, including how “in Hollywood, 10 years is a huge success, and their beautiful kids are a massive success.” I can see it that way, I can also see how Ben’s self sabotage, inability to be satisfied and wandering eye ruined their marriage. Lainey has had multiple blind items suggesting as much.

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Divorcing After 10 Years of Marriage - FILE PHOTOS

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Divorcing After 10 Years of Marriage - FILE PHOTOS

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Divorcing After 10 Years of Marriage - FILE PHOTOS

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Divorcing After 10 Years of Marriage - FILE PHOTOS
File photos credit: FameFlynet

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307 Responses to “The Affleck-Garner divorce: therapy for 2 years, separated for 10 months”

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  1. Joan says:

    It’s actually hard to believe this is true, even after all the speculation …
    I feel for the kids. 🙁

    • Lucy says:

      I really didn’t want to believe it but 2 weeks ago I went to a party Will Smith threw for the cast and crew of Suicide Squad and Ben showed up and the way he was with the model and extra types, well if that were my husband I would definitely be verryyyy skeptical of his extracurricular activities. He’s such a douche, the impression he left me with is that of an alcoholic with a wandering D

      • Fran says:

        I just wanna know about THAT party now! 😀

      • Snazzy says:

        Me too! Were there CO$ themed party favours?

      • Lucy says:

        The funny thing is that Will smith essentially paid for most of the party once shooting ended but he and the other stars showed up for a few minutes and left, they didn’t even bother to interact with the lower tier people associated with the film, Ben was the only one that stayed on for most of the night

    • Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

      I feel sorry for the kids too but I don’t want to be accused of saying “Won’t somebody think of the children?”

      • Cee says:

        My parents separated when I was 10 and remained married for the sake of us children. I am almost 28 and they’re still legally married. I cannot express how much confusion this caused my siblings and I. The Affleck children will most likely suffer and but it will temporary. Better to have happy parents than miserable ones as example.

      • betsyh says:

        Ha, ha, Helen Lovejoy!

      • ImFlying says:

        @MoxyLady007 ~ That is what I am always thinking, but thought I would probably get yelled at for saying it. I can appreciate her natural, no fuss look. I also almost never wear makeup. My dominate gene is Shoshone indian, so I am dark by nature, and never really felt like I wanted to get involved with the dependence of being made up all the time. But, I still care about my appearance, and I want that for my husband and family. I still want him to swoon when he sees me. Especially if I am ‘in trouble’ of some sort….usually by some random shopping, or something of that nature. A little random cleavage and hair down and brushed always does the trick.

    • perplexed says:

      Yeah, I’m sort of surprise in the sense that I thought they’d stick it out through whatever problems they were having. Maybe the pap walks fooled me.

      • Sarah says:

        Sounds like they tried to stick it out for 2 years. At this point, the kids are probably better off with 2 happy parents who get along than 2 unhappy parents who are together but fighting all the time.

      • Denisemich says:

        He won the Oscar and didn’t need to deal with this “image” marriage anymore.

        Well that is the issue in my opinion.

        Timing seems right.

        I feel bad for the kids but not for her. I think she knew the deal but loved him and thought she could make it work.

        Ladies you can never change a man. People have to want to be better.

      • Diva says:

        I feel bad for any kids that have to deal with their parents divorce. I don’t have much sympathy for Jennifer though. Ben is obviously self destructive and seems to sabotage himself when he’s ready to leave a relationship. She had to know the outcome.

      • MoxyLady007 says:

        The pap walks confused me for sure. If I was separating from someone but was still seeing them, I for make sure I looked amazing. Jens sad sad shoes whispered lies.

      • kcarp says:

        What was the point of the recent pap strolls if they have been separated for 10 months?

        I tend to think something or someone pulled the plug very very recently. I think they were trying to keep it up for the kids and his image but something happened.

      • laura in LA says:

        MoxyLady007, I loved this: “Jen’s sad sad shoes whispered lies…”

        Funny – but true. No wonder we all focused so much on them.

      • senna says:

        OMG! I agree totally with everyone above who can’t figure out the forced-smile sad-shoed papwalks. Why bother when you’re going to announce it in a few weeks anyway? Were they hoping to eke it out a little longer? Get the paps off the scent of the story? Whatever that was, it didn’t work.

    • Katie says:

      I had hoped they’d go the distance.

    • Sherry says:

      I’m having a hard time believing it too. However, last night I remembered that when she got pregnant with baby #3 there had been rumblings/blind gossip items about trouble in the marriage. I wondered if it were a “bandaid baby” trying to fix things at the time.

      If the timeline is right and they’ve been in counseling for 2 years, then I suspect that is what happened. Ben looks like a douche, she looks like she’s happy and as long as the kids are not put in the middle of whatever disagreements they have, I wish them well.

      • Lama Bean says:

        Ha Sherry,
        I was just coming to the comments to add the same observation. I too think that Sam was the band-aid baby. He’s a cute band-aid, but I think it was an attempt to fix things (or silence the gossip long enough to get through the Oscar campaign)

      • KellyBee says:

        Yes the story was that Ben going to file for divorce but a new pregnancy but a stop to his plans. The next day aftwe the story came out they announce that baby #3 was on the way.

        The Daily Fail also has a new story about how they were going to split 3 years ago and Baby Samuel turned 3 in February so the timeline fits.

      • laura in LA says:

        Meh, there have been rumblings and doubts since before Baby #1…

        Despite all the spin otherwise, though, there’s some truth to their statement here that a ten-year marriage is a success, especially as against the odds as this one was. (In fact, I wonder if Vegas had any bets on this? Or is that too crass…)

        Anyway, they stuck it out for longer than they probably should’ve and had 3 beautiful children, also improved careers, as a result. (Funny, this reminds me of Mad Men with Don and Betty’s divorce. Will this play out in a similar fashion?)

        Nevertheless, as sad as this is, it’s “all for the best” – and I’m sure that’s what they’ll the kids, too.

    • joan says:

      I have to wonder if Jen’s been planning for this for years. Dressing dowdy in all those pix at the farmer’s market w/the kids. Waiting till it’s 10 years. She seems more calculating than her PR image.

      She seemed very quick-witted and charming on Letterman, and cleaned up really well.

      • senna says:

        I do wonder if a new Jen will emerge. Now would be a good time to spin her image into something beyond beautiful yet inexplicably dowdy supermom. I mean, her current image is certainly relatable, but divorce is an opportunity to take stock and re-assess who you want to be, whether you’re a celebrity with an image to craft or a plebeian like the rest of us.

  2. savu says:

    I genuinely can’t wait to see what she does with this next chapter of her life. I hope she finds somebody who treats her like a queen.

    • silken_floss says:

      Agreed. She always seemed waaaay more into Ben than he was into her. I’m really surprised their marriage lasted this long tbh

      • QQ says:

        Oh I feel you on that Vibe, she looked at him always like he hung the moon, meantime he was like: Eh!

      • sills says:

        Yeah, that red carpet photo of them up there really encapsulates their whole relationship IMO.

      • BooBooLaRue says:

        agreed, in the photos, she always seems to be looking to him for some sort of approval or confirmation. He just looks like a total douche canoe (which according to a pal of mine who went Cambridge Rindge and Latin with him he was/is!). Move on girl!

      • BangersandMash says:

        It hurts…. It really hurts.

        Do you remember the ‘we’re so in love and stronger than ever’ Farmer’s market parade that ended about 2 weeks ago??

        In those photos, whom do you think ended it with whom?? Did you see the Nick Dunn wax human, morbid, emo face Ben was pulling for a month straight??

        It’s killing me to say but, when men want out, they don’t care who’s in the callamity, they don’t “think about the kids” or “Look at how long we’ve spend together, fighting, give it one more shot”…. THEY BOUNCE!!!!! End. Of

      • QQ says:

        Oh Bangers FO SHO It was him whether Like I postulated before was war By Attrition and I’ll say It again, He is the type to f*ck up so flagrant and plentifully she just had to throw in the towel or whether he called it a day and extended her the courtesy of like: Ok But you can Pick the date

    • RocketMerry says:

      +1
      And I also hope for her to get a big television come back, followed by a few, well thought-out movies. You know, I’d like her to be generally accomplished and have a great time doing something she’s good at and loves.

    • Shambles says:

      I wish her all the happiness and peace moving forward, and a long, long shoe shopping trip.

      • Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

        Always have to put the boot in. Don’t ya, Shambles?

      • Shambles says:

        I didn’t mean to be too unkind, Mispronounced Name Dropper. I meant it with some snark, but I also truly do hope she finds some time to pamper herself. Preferably with some stylish-yet-comfortable new shoes, but anything will do. 😀

    • Mia4S says:

      Oy. Can we stop with the Saint Jennifer routine? No she didn’t deserve to be cheated on and yes she deserves peace…but considering she cheated on her first husband I don’t think there are any saints in this situation. The breakup of her first marriage was incredibly sketchy on her part. Feel bad for the kids sure, but their parents have been playing a long Hollywood game.

      • quantum entanglement says:

        I’m 100% sure she’s not a saint, but I’ll always have a fondness (justified or not) for her because of Alias. I really second the hope that she returns to a tv show.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        …and that was her first marriage. This is a different marriage and this is many years later. People make mistakes and people change throughout the years.

      • Luca76 says:

        I loved Alias!!!
        And the story was she dumped Foley for Vartan for Affleck in really quick succession then had an anchor baby with Ben. It really came off as her being desperate to land a golden goose. I don’t think she deserves everything she had to put up with but I do believe the writing was on the wall from day one and she wanted to be a Hollywood wife more than she wanted to be famous in her own right.
        I believe she loves her kids but she’s definitely all about her image.
        I’m so curious to see who she will marry. I’d bet a behind the scenes power player.

      • perplexed says:

        I don’t think she’s a saint, but she seems like a pretty accommodating and easy-going lady, so if Ben can’t deal with her, I don’t if he can deal with anybody. Maybe he doesn’t want to though. Honestly, even J-Lo and GOOP seem tolerable next to him.

      • Dani says:

        So we shouldn’t feel bad for someone who’s marriage of ten years (that resulted in three kids) just crumbled and she couldn’t do anything to save it? Give her a break.

      • Snowball says:

        Word. This ‘poor Jennifer’ schtick is doing my head in.

      • claire says:

        Seriously. She cheated on both her past two serious relationships before Ben. Why the labeling of him but sainthood of her? A bit silly.

    • bettyrose says:

      The comments section on HuffPo yesterday was packed with men vying for the job of adoring her full time. The world is full of great guys, but hardly any of them are Hollywood A listers.

    • Nikki says:

      Unless she’s just going to go for another “bad boy” type. I kind of doubt it after she’s had years to see what it’s like LIVING with one, and also now considering her kids. Hope it’s someone hot who CHERISHES her and the kids. Can’t wait to see her revenge looks, cuz I think she’ll be spectacular after the settlement is finalized!

    • Wren says:

      I’m curious too. While I’m sure she’s not a saint (who is?) and not entirely blameless (again, who is?), but she seems like a genuinely nice person who did her best but the relationship unraveled anyway. Hopefully she finds someone better.

    • Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

      @QQ: You make him sound so cool. 😎

  3. Katydid20 says:

    Part of me can’t wait for all the juicy gossip details to come out. The other part feels bad for the kids when it all does come out………..

    • silken_floss says:

      Me too!!!
      *rubs hands together in juicy anticipation*

    • Jegede says:

      I don’t think there will be.

      The biggest story post Martin and Gwyneth ‘uncoupling’ is that they’ve stayed so close.
      So all the stories are pretty much go with they are still banging and sabotaging each other.
      (But they said the same for years about Fergie and Prince Andrew cause they’ve remained friends.)

      Everyone thought there would be epicness btw Kate Holmes and Tom Cruise when they divorced, but it ended up rather mundane.

      It seems in these cases the divorce itself tends to be the juiciest part of the story.

      I’ll wait with anticipation though *smiles*

      • bettyrose says:

        The TomKat divorce is totally different. She escaped, literally, and had to focus,on the safety of her and her daughter. I was hoping for a tell-all but I can’t fault Katie for staying silent. In this case , I doubt Jen will say much, doesn’t seem like her style to badmouth, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a few party girls came forward

      • laura in LA says:

        bettyrose, this exactly…

        TomKat was a scandal not because of any infidelity but due to the overwhelming spectre of Scientology.

        There’s been gossip about Ben/Jen for years, and we all know the reasons why they’re breaking up, the details of which don’t really matter now.

    • Wren says:

      I feel like the gossip details already have come out, albeit as unconfirmed stories. He drinks, is a gambling addict, and probably cheats too. That would not be new information. She’s devoted to her happy happy family relateable mom routine, which again is not news. I’m not sure how much else there is, unless one of them committed a crime hitherto unknown or ends up freaking out over custody and/or money.

      • Sullivan says:

        I agree. The gossip is out there. Lately there’s been a gossip nugget about him and Gam Giadet (Wonder Woman) at the Motor City Casino a while back. Ben Affleck seems like he’d be a royal pain in the neck to be married to.

  4. GlimmerBunny says:

    I still think this is so sad. They were one of my aboslute favorite Hollywood couples. Brangelina, please stay together so I can maintain some belief in Hollywood true love!

  5. LB says:

    Lainey’s been on point with her blinds on this and keeps pointing out Oklahoma and wonder so I think there must have been something to those Olga rumors. I wonder if he’s still with her or found someone new (Lainey’s blind implied he was with some other woman in Nova Scotia).

    Either way, it seems clear it was up to Jennifer Garner to get fed up and walk away and she finally, finally did. Good for her. I have no ill will towards Ben (and I don’t think Jen is a sain) but there’s only so much she could help him wrestle with his problems and put up with his infidelities.

    • Jayna says:

      Olga and her older boyfriend, Danny Huston, broke up last year. I don’t know if she’s been seen dating someone else or not. She is very private. She is stunning and speaks four languages, is very independent, and has a child.

      • Lee says:

        She has a child? Really? I didnt know that…I knew Danny had a daugter, they were papped together on holiday several times….
        Somehow I can’t see Olga having an affair with Ben, that Emily model yes, but Olga, not really…

      • Jayna says:

        @Lee, you are right. The little girl was Danny’s daughter she was papped with often. I thought it was her daughter. My bad. She doesn’t have a daughter.

    • Liberty says:

      Olga was in To The Wonder, filmed in Oklahoma. She was also one of the actresses considered for Wonder Woman, until GG got the part.

    • PennyLane says:

      She said the word ‘wonder’ was key in one of her posts – presumably that comment is directed at Gal Gadot, the actress cast as Wonder Woman…

      • LB says:

        I am pretty sure it’s Olga. To the Wonder was the movie he was filming with Olga in Oklahoma. Lainey referenced Oklahoma multiple times in her blinds about Ben as well. She referenced 2011 once too which is when filming for that movie occurred.

        I don’t know if he’s still linked to Olga but I definitely think something happened back then, just like it did with Blake Lively.

      • tracking says:

        CDAN says it was Rachel McAdams, who does seem to have a habit of dating her co-stars. Reports today say she and Taylor Kitsch are now an item. Not that they wouldn’t be adorbs together, and could also be PR for TD2, but timing is interesting.

  6. Zapp Brannigan says:

    There was a story going around at the time they got married (over at Lainey if I remember correctly) that when she told him she was pregnant that he bolted and his team had to take him aside and tell him that if he did not marry her his career was kaput. She helped his image greatly but having to talk him into marrying you was never going to work.

    • Esmom says:

      I hadn’t heard that but yeah, I’d say that spells doom. I do remember thinking they were the oddest match. Even looking at the photos here they strike me as so out of sync.

      Seems like they tried pretty hard to make it work but perhaps it was never meant to be.

      • Who ARE these people? says:

        Yes it seems not that they were two people who grew apart but rather that they were two people who never grew close.

    • Talie says:

      God, 10 years of being the person who loves more than she is loved is enough BS for a lifetime.

    • Wren says:

      If that’s true than I’m surprised they lasted this long. What an insurmountable barrier.

  7. Mia4S says:

    Well….it’s a good story. People forget that this is her second divorce (his first) so she has a lot of interest in saving face too.

    • Debbie says:

      Exactly and her first marriage ended because she cheated in an attempt to climb the Hollywood fame latter. Lets not act like Ben went out and found some innocent Nebraska farm girl! She went after him and knew what being Mrs. Affleck could do for her, thus cheating again and moving up. Sorry she plays the dutiful wife and mom but I don’t buy it she has her shady history too.

      I’m sure Ben is no peach but he has never claimed to be, however, this isn’t his second failed marriage so hard to say it is all on him. Although I’m sure she will try.

      • Chichi says:

        Spin that loom Affleck. Spin it like an episode of Finding Your Roots.

      • mom2two says:

        What you said Debbie. I do believe she wanted this one to work and was definitely invested, but let’s not forget that she ditched Scott Foley for Michael Vartan and then supposedly ditched Vartan for Affleck.

        I am sure there is fault on both sides but I do bet she tolerated a lot from him in this marriage, that much is sure.

      • ell says:

        omg. i don’t like jen & and her perfect mum act, but I don’t consider 10 years and 3 kids a “failure”. life is long, sometimes marriage doesn’t work and that’s just life. my parents also divorced, and I never thought of them and my siblings as failures either. this whole attitude to divorce really needs to change.

      • Luca76 says:

        Yup but she’s done so well marketing herself as a perfect wife that no one remembers her shadiness.

      • The Original Mia says:

        Scott Foley has said there was no cheating. She didn’t hook up with Vartan until after her divorce.

      • notasugarhere says:

        What’s important is what they each did in THIS relationship, right? How hard did each of them try to make it work and how committed were they.

      • Pinky says:

        @Chichi Nice!

      • JaneS says:

        Preach it Debbie.

        Saint Jennifer doesn’t wash with me.

    • paranormalgirl says:

      It’s over 10 years later. I’m glad no one judges me on my past mistakes.

      • Debbie says:

        But it’s ok to judge Ben on allegations based on his past mistakes? Sorry nope I am sure they are both at fault, if there is fault, but this poor Jen is bull. She isn’t some saint she is an opportunist who has social climbed through Hollywood and used her kids to create a specific image which is fine but stop with the saintly victim she isn’t she knows and plays this game as well as Ben.

      • perplexed says:

        The allegations against Ben are current rather than past though. The current criticisms about Ben in tabloid gossip items or wherever else don’t seem to have to do with what he did with J-Lo 10 years ago but what kind of weird stuff he’s currently rumoured to be doing or has said about young actresses. No one seems able to come up with anything about Jennifer has done recently, either real or alleged, except that she wears bad tennis shoes with ugly jeans and shows too much fondness for Martha Stewart. Unless it turns out that she’s been secretly sleeping with Matt Damon all this time, there doesn’t appear to be much to say about her that seems to match what can be said about Ben in present time.

    • vauvert says:

      I have seen a lot of comments about her leaving Foley and Vartan and what people seem to be missing is that the were no kids involved there. Yes, I am old school, I think you do try to make it work when there are little ones. Yes, if all the work to keep it together is done by one person while the other wanders around drinking, sleeping around and gambling to excess instead of focusing on his family at some point you throw in the towel. But I do feel horribly sorry for her and the kids.
      And while many commenters here have made the argument that a divorce is better for the children than an unhappy marriage, my question is, what in God’s name made him unhappy so he had to go cheat? They are healthy, wealthy, famous, with three gorgeous kids. She looked at him like he was her everything, left her ex for him. Oh, I get it, she is not twenty anymore or “new”… Please. He should have either never married or having gone that route and become a dad three times over, he should have done some serious work on himself and grown up. He will be a self involved no good dad divorced just like he was a no good father while married. I cannot imagine how that will make his kids happier. (And for the record, while I am sure some children benefit from their parents’ divorce, in my limited experience having seen the effects of divorce on children of friends and acquaintances, I disagree. Poor kids end up shuffled to the dad who is living with a bimbo, getting their lives disrupted every weekend, carrying their stuffed toys around and needing therapy to make sense of what happened…)
      As for Jen, I hope she finds someone wonderful after she finally heals from trying so hard for ten years to make this work with a narcissist, selfish sleaze ball.

      • Dolce crema says:

        Maybe she has a shitty personality and/or he sees thru to her selfishness . Some people cheat for the new connection, not just sex with a younger model

      • Tara says:

        I agree with everything you said Vauvert. I’m not that invested in these two but don’t at all get the glee and dismissiveness toward what has to be a painful divorce… At the end of a painful marriage. Even if she “knew what she was getting into” and was calculating, I don’t see those things as being mutually exclusive of compassion toward her. It does seem obvious she loved him and tried to make their family work. It never looked like he invested in the family past those pap walks that he probably blamed on her. She used to kind of annoy me with her every-girl-ness. Now I just feel bad for her and the kids… Even though they’ll probably be better off in the long run. I don’t think jennifer is larding on the poor me’s; it’s just a genuinely sad situation. Not the worst thing in the world but still sad.

      • leidub311 says:

        +1! Couldn’t have said it better myself.

      • kcarp says:

        I am with you completely. When kids are involved the game changes completely. You try to stick it out when their is no abuse. I have yet to see people who want to leave their marriage and their kids home come out happier. This is the kind of guy who may come to fatherhood kicking and screaming but someone needs to be in his life to tell him to buck up these are your kids.

        I think marriages go through things and you can have a terrible couple of years, then another great 5, then some bad times. It goes up and down like anything in life.

      • Luca76 says:

        Hes a womanizer always was and always will be. You can’t change someone by being wholesome and nice like some cheesy romance novel. He cheated on Goop, he cheated on JLo and Jen chased him for a long while and wanted to marry him despite his bad rep then surprise! He did the same thing to her only difference is that to protect the image of a perfect family she brushed his behavior under the carpet. One can feel bad about the whole thing and for the kids without lionizing Jen as a maytr when it’s obvious she made choices that benefitted her image and Ben’s career for years being an enabler isn’t admirable.

      • captain says:

        I agree with what you said about their relationship. However, it was my impression, that he loves his kids really very much. It is possible that he has just let himself go with regards to his addictions and doesn’t want to stop, nor any help. In this state he is obviously alienated from his family, as he is unable to communicate with them, spend time with them, or perform his parental duties.

        It is good for Jennifer, I believe. She looks like he sucked her dry: her glow, confident prettiness, charming smile – he sucked it out of her with non-love.

        The best arrangement I know is when the kids live in their home where they always lived, and the parents take turns living with them, so not the kids get to shuffle between homes, but their parents. This family has enough money to arrange that. Better than see his face all the time when trying to stop loving him.

      • daphne says:

        this. i was wondering for those who think divorce is better for kids. from legal inheritance point of view, divorce does not benefit the kids. let’s say parents when they split, the assets get split 50-50. if one parent remarries they get less than 50% out of the parent who remarries, instead of 100% if their parents never divorce

      • senna says:

        I grew up in a religious environment, and can tell you right now that the children of those people who “stayed together for the kids” have some pretty messed-up relationships and marriages themselves, as adults, because what they saw growing up was SO not normal or healthy. Shame, dislike and obligation create a terrible family environment. Divorce is often better than that, IMHO.

  8. Abbott says:

    I *wonder* if they’ll actually be able to keep the details under wraps.

  9. Felice. says:

    Maybe he lived in hotels so Jen could have some time away

    • Esmom says:

      Or maybe they were building/renovating the separate house he’ll be now living in. I have a friend who got divorced and she bought the house right behind theirs so the kids literally just had to cross the back yard to get back and forth from mom and dad’s house. It seems to work just fine, even years later when both parents have new partners.

      • Felice. says:

        Oh very true. That implies that they weren’t technically lying.

      • The Original G says:

        Or, maybe he was living in casinos.

      • Wren says:

        Most casinos have attached hotels………..

      • GingerCrunch says:

        Love hearing this. Wish more people were able to do this! If Jen&Ben pull it off, then I’d have a lot of respect for them. Although I don’t see him being ON the property long-term. It’s prolly to help the kids with the transition, which I’ll applaud.

      • laura in LA says:

        Esmom, sounds like Ben/Jen are taking a page from the GOOPy conscious-uncoupling playbook, though I don’t see it working out for the Affleck family quite so well…

        Whatwith Ben wanting to be away from them so much anyway, and Jen trying to keep them close but clearly bothered by his wandering, gambling, drinking ways.

  10. Elisabeth says:

    he seems awful and she seems boring

  11. Maya says:

    Gotta hand it to Jennifer – she has managed to use the media to give the full blame on Ben in a subtle way.

    Ben – well his reputation is just gone with the slavery issue and now this whole family image broken.

  12. Barrett says:

    Some pictures not just these seem to capture that she truly loved and was into him by her body language and her gaze at him. He seems depressed and not present. He does strike me as having issues no matter who he is with. Deep issues within himself leading to addiction and depression.

    • Emperor Cupcake says:

      I noticed the body language too! In two of the shots, she’s gazing at him adoringly. But he is always looking straight ahead, seeming to stare into the middle distance or directly at the photographer’s lens.

      • Esmom says:

        Yes, but I think these photos were chosen for that reason, to support the story. I saw a bunch of photos last night where he looked very engaged and affectionate with her.

      • Kiddo says:

        “The Good Wife”, like every politician’s wife’s face when he resigns.

      • briargal says:

        Wait… does that mean that Eddie C isn’t into Leaky?? He is seldom looking at her but off in the distance as if trying to get away…just like good old Ben. Maybe we will be seeing an Eddie/Leaky breakup soon.

  13. Jayna says:

    Ben is off on sets. I imagine he has moved into the guest house to make the transition easier for the children. Jen has movies she’s been working on also. I imagine the moving trucks were to put stuff in storage. As far as Ben in hotels, I would think that’s only been sporadically and then much heavier the last few months as they were really strongly headed for divorce.

    The fact is Ben has been gone, off on set, back to back for movies for over a year. So he’s not coming home and living in hotels. He is home with his children when he is back home. There is no way even Jen would have done that differently and it was a trial separation, in that they were still probably trying to work on the marriage but living more separately.

    I think they both want this divorce to be as amicable as possible for their children. They both adore those kids. I also imagine they have watched closely how Chris and Gwynneth have handled their separation and divorce and will do their best to still have some kind of friendship as co-parents for the sake of the children. Maybe not to the degree the Martins did, i.e., vacations together LOL, but in that same spirit. of showing the kids “we’re still a family and will always love each other, just in a different way.”

  14. Cheshirely says:

    It’s a known fact here in LA that Ben has “substance issues.” The trip to Canada wasn’t about another woman- it was a treatment facility.

    • Bridget says:

      He got in trouble because locals saw and posted photos of him with another woman.

      And his substance issues aren’t secret

      • Jayna says:

        No one posted a photo of him with a woman. Where do you get such stuff? There’s not one photo of him there with a woman, just blind gossip on a gossip site that he was seen with one, no photos or even description. He very well could have been with a woman, but there has never been photos of him with one. Or he very well could have been there for something to do with his alcoholism like Cheshirely said.

      • Bridget says:

        If he was there for something to do with his alcoholism, it wouldn’t have been for just a few days. While there are short in-patient programs, I haven’t heard of one that’s less than 10 days. And when he went to Promises quite a while ago it wasn’t actually a secret – he and his flak were pretty open about it.

        And fine, no photos… but it was pretty widespread that he was with a woman who was most definitely not his wife.

      • littlestar says:

        There WAS a photo of him at a gas station in Nova Scotia, although I don’t believe a woman was in the pic with him.

  15. Serenity says:

    Omg. Just look at his pained expressions in some of their pictures. His eyes are silently screaming for help.

    My opinion is that this has not been a happy marriage for quite some time and I think it’s a relief for both parties to let up on the whole ‘happy families’ facade.

    • Aren says:

      This. When there’s an alcoholic there’s an enabler. I think she used him and kept making the situation worse because that would make him stay.

  16. SleepingBeauty says:

    I think Ben will have a bachelor pad/live in hotels and then go stay at the Brentwood property when it’s time for him to be with the kids.

    • Jayna says:

      Exactly or gone off on location and coming home for weekends or for a down period between movies to see his children and have them feel like it’s more normal still, daddy on the property. I see him living there as a transition period for the children until down the road he establishes a “home” for the children and they’ve all adjusted. It’s easier for him to pop in there and stay and his kids are there, their stuff, the nanny if Jen goes somewhere.

  17. InvaderTak says:

    This isn’t as dramatic as the press would have us believe I think. Seems like it was a long time coming, for them and for gossips. Trying to keep his infidelity under wraps is a joke and their people should know that.

  18. Jen43 says:

    My take is that Ben is addicted to alcohol and gambling. I don’t think he enjoys being married because it is too much of a sacrifice of his personal freedom. I think he likes being a dad, but doesnt want to spend all his time with his kids. I hope they keep things amiable. I was hoping they could work things out. It seems like they did try.

    • quantum entanglement says:

      That makes me sad for his kids, that he likes being a dad fine, but also is totally fine with being a raging alcoholic with a gambling problem who cheats on his wife all the time.

      Having a present, engaged, healthy father is a great help and joy in life. All kids should have that. At least they have a decent mom, I guess.

  19. Goats on the Roof says:

    Oh, please. It isn’t a coincidence that they made their announcement one day after their tenth anniversary. My guess is they waited in exchange for Jen keeping a lid on his numerous philanderings.

    • Jayna says:

      Jen is never going to blast him for one reason, their children. She’s not the type that would drag him through the mud publically and in turn hurting their children, wno adore their father.

      I doubt money and splitting up things is a real problem for them, except just untangling it all and coming to an agreement. I think he knows how much he owes her for her support and being such a wonderful mother to their children while he focused on building back his career. I don’t see that she has to hold anything over his head to get a very fair financial split. It’s the way in his mind he can walk away not feeling so guilty towards her, at least show her respect that way. She came into the marriage wealthy anyway. His career is on a huge upswing as a director/acting projects. He will make a lot of money in the next five years especially.

    • Anon says:

      I remember reading somewhere (I can’t remember where) that there is a 3 month “grace period” to the 10 yer rule. So she should wait another 3 months to file.

    • captain says:

      I think it is because the gossip mags said he wants to file before the 10-year deadline. So it is a statement in a way: he is not this unfair greedy monster. To save his image as much as possible in this divorce situation.

      • hippo says:

        They have so many millions between them that surely it wouldn’t matter either way.

  20. Eleonor says:

    How unexpected.

  21. burnsie says:

    The third hand on his arm in the suit photo is freaking me out

  22. Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

    Don’t know why some people are so hard on Ben. He hasn’t done anything that bad.

    • Kate says:

      If I was ever married and my husband acted the way this asshole did, I would resent him for life and be gone at the drop of a hat. Then again, I wouldn’t be stupid enough (or ambitious enough as in Garner’s case) to marry someone with so many issues.

    • Who ARE these people? says:

      When I told my husband about this, he said , Guess that hard work wasn’t enough, huh?

      Just that speech alone made a deep impression on a non-
      Celeb watcher and basic guy. It must have been just the tip of the iceberg.

    • ell says:

      he’s well know for his substance abuse, cheating and being generally a mess. no one but my boyfriend (for inexplicable reasons, or rather, he grew up with kevin smith’s movies and that put ben in his good books) likes him. every time he gets a role there a big hoo-ha because no one really wants to watch him.

      • Tiny Martian says:

        I don’t even care about his personal life, I just don’t think he’s much of an actor. He’s bland as can be and I feel like he drags down every movie he’s in, including those he directs!

      • daphne says:

        it’s true. i can’t think of one ben affleck movie that i enjoy watching

  23. Rhiley says:

    Sadly, it is likely going to get pretty ugly. Jennifer has steadily worked for years now, but she had Ben to help co-parent. I wonder if she is going to start doing more commercials and print ads, and less movies, so that she can be with the children. Maybe she has more trust in her ex, but he doesn’t seem in a place where she could leave the children with him for days even if he does have the help of a nanny.A lot of people want him to get back with JLO, but I wouldn’t doubt he does have something going with the girl who played Annie in Gone Girl (I am too lazy to google her name). I think filming that movie really brought to surface a lot of vices that he had tried to bury. I am not a huge Ben Affleck fan, but I do hope he is going to be ok. He seems kind of self destructive, and without a steady presence to watch out for him, his alcohol addiction could become severe… On another note, I wonder who will go to the farmer’s market with Jen now?

    • Kym says:

      Who will go to the Farmers market with Jen?

      Hopefully a man that doesn’t look like he has chronic diarrhea every time he’s near her !

  24. CK says:

    So I guess that means no high profile post-divorce hookup for Ben. Just imagine the dirt that Jen could release if he steps out of line or pisses her off. She and the kids barely protected him from his messy image so I can imagine how’s it going to be without that devoted father/husband image to endear him to folks.

    • Dubois says:

      Whatever creeping he does better be on the DL. He will look so bad cavorting with bimbos when he has 3 young kids at home. He is messy enough to get caught though. There will be photos.

  25. Div says:

    I went back and combed through Lainey, and way back in 2010 or 2011 she mentioned Olga and To the Wonder and she keeps coming up. The thing that always made me side-eye him though were the Blake Lively nude pictures when she was filming The Town and the fact that the very day the pics came out he was photographed with a shiner.

    I think he’s a chronic philanderer and gambler, but that Jen doesn’t want it out there because of the kids and his image (which is a classy move, imo). I also think she has a LOT of dirt on him and was able to make him wait until the ten year mark.

    • Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

      You make her sound so thirsty.

    • ell says:

      yeah, i’m unsure about the olga thing, but his affair with blake lively was basically a fact.

    • Heather says:

      I am with you on the Blake Lively mess. It annoyed me to no end at the time and I think now that Blake is married with a child, I wonder if she doesn’t regret being such a homewrecker. I mean, that crap with her being such a homemaker and baking for Ben or them taking cooking classes (or was that with Ryan while he was still married to Scarlett?) Anyway, I would hate to see the same thing happen to her…

      I have not heard of the Olga rumors, but no doubt Ben has been with numerous women over the years. Wasn’t it Gwyneth who famously said that Ben’s ideal woman was a Scores stripper with two beers in her hands? lol

      • Kitten says:

        Ugh, here we go with the “homewrecker” nonsense.

      • Pinky says:

        DIANE SAWYER IN PAST INTERVIEW: His idea of the perfect woman?

        GWYNETH PALTROW IN PAST INTERVIEW: Oh, God, um, any sort of stripper that scores. Anyone that serves cold beer in a bikini or wet T-shirt.

        And more quotable goodness:

        DIANE SAWYER: You said, within that time frame I had a broken engagement and a drawn out and tortured relationship with a complete knucklehead.

        GWYNETH PALTROW: I didn’t name any names.

        DIANE SAWYER: (Laughs) No, I mean, it makes us leap.

        GWYNETH PALTROW: Leap away.

        DIANE SAWYER: I’ve got news for you. Ben and J Lo are not getting married.

      • Illyra says:

        LOL thanks for those, Pinky

      • Jegede says:

        @Kitten
        + 1 and isn’t it wonderful its been established as a ‘fact’ now.

        Same with the ‘fact’ that he was sleeping with Emily R.

        These 20 year old brazen hussies, always all up on Ben Affleck!! sarcasm off/

      • jem says:

        Yes- and anyone who doesn’t like the term home wrecker is taking a morally indefensible position. The woman is not off the hook for knowingly sleeping with a married man, just because she isn’t the one married. Nice moral compass if you think that (sarcasm). The man is obviously more responsible but this idea in present day society that people are free to do what they want, cheat, lie, steal and sleep around is a sad commentary on our lack of values.

        Like Nene said “close your legs to married men”!!!!!!! It ain’t that hard!!!!!! For that matter fellas, keep your junk off of married women!!! If you wanna do it, have the decency to demand the person be honest with their spouse before you do what you dang sure know is wrong.

  26. Isa says:

    She’s a lot nicer than I would be. I would have gone the full Jennifer Aniston whiney victim route.

    • lisa2 says:

      Maybe she just doesn’t want to carry that label around for the rest of her life. Once it sticks.. it never leaves.

      Smart move on her part..

    • Esmom says:

      I don’t think Aniston went the “full whiney victim route” when she and Brad first announced their divorce. It was just as cordial as this. The victim label came later after she gave interviews answering questions about the split. We have no idea what Garner will say when asked, although I’d guess she will stick to keeping things civil/innocuous/impersonal. Honesty doesn’t always pay.

      • lisa2 says:

        True..

        things change when the guy moves on (especially if he does so first) and seems happy. So it will be interesting to see how this all works out.

      • Isa says:

        I was just joking, I would want to protect my kids too. But it would be very tempting to just let the wolves have him.

      • Esmom says:

        I hear you, Isa. I’m sure there are so many people in Hollywood — and in politics for that matter — who could really unleash with sordid tales we would love to hear. But they hold back, most often for financial reasons, I think.

      • Luca76 says:

        She doesn’t have to go full Aniston. She can let her ‘friends’ talk to the tabs. Some well timed pap strolls with the kids and a few ‘pained and saddened’ solo strolls is all she needs.

  27. Kiddo says:

    It’s been dead for a while. This doesn’t sound really sad, it sounds like the right thing.

    • lisa2 says:

      yes.

    • Liberty says:

      Agreed. And the image we get from photos is that it’s been dead on his side for awhile, and who would want to live with that? Even little children pick up on that bad energy. And there again, how they got together in the first place (re marriage, I mean). This sounded like a years-long struggle to try and keep going. And that can be tiring, I’d think. and the issues take two. As people point out, she overlaps relationships, and is either too dimply and romantically blind, or has a secret dark side — and he’s a gamblin’ big drinker cheater. The backstory is probably quite complicated.

    • zinjojo says:

      Agree. And my question right now, is why the recent pap walks? If they’ve been separated for 10 months, why did they go on pap walks to the farmer’s market within the last couple of weeks, looking completely miserable? Some final last grasp? It wasn’t good PR, was completely unconvincing and they were done anyway, and likely even had the timing planned. Why not just lay low and announce on June 30th?

    • Kitten says:

      Seriously. I couldn’t last 10 minutes in a broke relationship, much less 10 months.

  28. lisa2 says:

    I never understood why tabloids are so hell bent on celebrities breaking up. Why they push it so hard.. You would think they would want them to stay together. You get more stories that way.. but a divorce is final.. and in a few months people will lose interest.

    • Julie says:

      people are more interested in break ups, sells better. its not like they could sell papers with status updates “yup still together”. look around you most likely the neighbours are also gossiping about the failing marraige not the happy one.

  29. Hautie says:

    I see a woman who was desperate to keep that marriage intact. At any cost.

    I don’t believe for one moment that Garner walked way from him. Not at all.

    There would not have been the past two months, of those family together pap strolls. At the Farmer’s Market, if she knew it was over. And she had no chance of keeping him locked down.

    But I would completely believe that Affleck finally had to be the one to leave. And make the decision to file. And had to call in the movers truck.

    Nor do I believe for one moment, that he plans on living together on the same property.

    Maybe he comes over on his “free time/weekends” and stays in a guest house for a day. So he can be around the children in a safe place. Without camera’s. But living there. No way. Why get divorce then? If he didn’t have every intention of moving on and out of the house.

    Yet, I do agree that they both are desperate to keep this from being a PR nightmare.

    She wants to keep that Mom of the year personal intact. And he needs to look like he cares enough, not to suddenly get photograph ho’ing around town with the lastest hot piece of a**.

    • Jegede says:

      I don’t believe she walked away either.

      I do think Ben was IT for her. Far more than her first husband ever was.

  30. JoJo says:

    Why does everyone keep acting like “if it weren’t for his problems, everything would be fine.” Has anyone considered that they were just not a good match, from the start? Which is pretty much being confirmed at this point with admissions of their big problems from he very start. He’s going to have his vices no matter who he’s with, most likely. But that has nothing to do with whether he was happy in that relationship. I believe they would have eventually split even if he tried his hardest to be a “good boy” like everyone seems to want. It’s pretty obvious – they’re polar opposites. But they stayed together trying to force it for the kids for a long time. Heck, I’ve done the same in relationships. It’s human nature. Ugh – I can already tell I’m going to hate the way the press is going to try to shape this story. Poor Jen, bad Ben. So dumb and simplistic. Again, I’m not disputing that he’s done all the things people say, but I am saying, I believe they would have ultimately split regardless because they haven’t been a good personality match from the very start. So, I don’t blame either one of them – just unfortunate.

    • Hautie says:

      “Why does everyone keep acting like “if it weren’t for his problems, everything would be fine.” Has anyone considered that they were just not a good match, from the start?…”
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Oh, I agree. There is so much more to it, than Affleck is a bad guy. Lots of issues were involved.

      • lisa2 says:

        YEP.. maybe his vices got worse because he was unhappy. Sad but I think Ben was passive aggressive.

        The Poor Jen thing..ugh.. maybe it is the name and the word POOR just naturally attaches itself to it. But yes Ben is going to be the BAD GUY..and I think he knows it and you can see he is waiting for it.

      • Illyra says:

        “maybe his vices got worse because he was unhappy. Sad but I think Ben was passive aggressive.”

        I was kinda thinking that too.

      • Tara says:

        Poor poor Ben had his vices get worse and be passive aggressive. Poor poor Ben. Bad, boring, frumpy Jen. Bad bad woman. Bad bad mother. Female bad bad bad. Good boy just being a poor poor boy. Good boy Ben, good boy.

      • JaneS says:

        Lol, who is going on about poor poor Ben? That’s no better than Saint Jennifer, Our Holy Lady of Women and Mothers.

    • jen2 says:

      Maybe he was a total ass and is getting what he deserves. From the NPR disaster and his “shoot me now” looks during their pap walks, it is clear he has some issues. But marriage is two way, with two people and when it ends , there are usually problems from both sides. As they say, “there is her side, his side and the truth”. It seems common that the “America’s sweetheart” (a term I loathe) types always get the sympathy as if no good man would leave them and they suffered in silence for years. Not saying she did anything wrong (but she does have a few failed relationships, including a divorce, in her past too) either and he didn’t, but man, he is getting raked over the coals and she is being sprinkled with angel dust.

      • Kitten says:

        Definitely. I like both of them *dodges tomatoes* but I hate how people automatically vilify him and coddle her like she’s a fragile kitten. If Ben was such a terrible dude who loved Jen and didn’t care about his marriage, I doubt he would have committed to two years of therapy. He wouldn’t have been the first guy to say “no” to that and end things right there.

        Celeb gossip can be so annoyingly black and white and as I’ve said on previous posts, the amount of certitude and conviction with which people discuss Affleck’s marriage grates on me. I don’t know if he’s cheated, maybe he did, maybe he drinks or gambles or all of the above, maybe he was hell to live with. But who really knows? Who knows what Jennifer brought or did not bring to the table. None of us know the inner-workings of their marriage. I get that it’s celeb gossip and of course people will speculate, but painting Affleck as a terrible person and Jenifer as a saint is such an annoyingly simplistic view.

        The only thing I know for sure is that relationships are hard, people are complicated, and marriages from the outside looking in are rarely what they seem.

      • Ash says:

        Another great post from jen2.

      • laura in LA says:

        +1
        Once again, I have to agree w/you, Kitten…

        It seems that *some people* read celebrity gossip as soap opera storylines with a need to assign roles of good/bad, black/white, to make sense of a lot grey area. But it’s perhaps really more their own issues they’re trying to work out, old resentments and hurts in their personal relationship history.

        *Not me, of course (coughs…)*

        Seriously, though, people like Ben/Jen are real and more complex than we the public give them credit for. I mean, how many Hollywood couples would put in this much effort, years of therapy, to make work a marriage that maybe just wasn’t meant to be? Also, let’s not forget that you gotta be tough to make it in this town and industry; neither one of them is a shrinking violet or victim here.

        Honestly, not to defend his actions, but I think Ben loved and cared about Jen, just not in the same way she adored and crushed on him. Ten years is a long time to be in such a painfully, unrequited relationship as this. Despite their body language of the past couple of years, though, there are instances in photos and on-screen showing there was love, caring and chemistry between them. And this couldn’t be faked; no one’s that good of an actor.

        Anyway, no need for any of us to worry, I’m sure they’ll be just fine…

        Fine, fine!

    • I Choose Me says:

      Agree with this completely.

      • Isa says:

        Wasn’t it Gwen that said he sabotages himself? I think that’s the case here. I think he has this idea of what he wants but when he actually got it he realized that wasn’t it. He had to have known that he would take the hit if they ended up divorced. I think his career and reputation has more to do with him trying to work it out than anything.

    • Illyra says:

      Well said.

    • Ash says:

      Well said, JoJo.

      • cheryl says:

        I think those wondering why the recent pap strolls have an answer. She has been actively waging her PR message/image all along. The look in his face is often, I’m not gonna even try, I give up, you win, get your angel dust.

    • Kitten says:

      The sole voice of reason.

    • K says:

      I don’t know much about their personalities, but it does seem like she wanted a traditional family life, nice home, relaxed weekends at the farmer’s market, nice meals out, nice holidays, all low key and serene. Obviously rather more glossy than most can afford, because of their money, but still pretty normal. And he wanted the rock’n’roll playboy narrative, possibly with a family as a home base, but not as the main event.

      I hope she finds someone who wants the same things in life she does, and I hope he finds whatever it is he wants, too.

      Poor Jennifer. She got the wrong boy out of the Good Will Hunting duo, really – Matt Damon seems to share her life aims and goals, if his marriage is any guide.

  31. MrsBPitt says:

    I keep thinking about that Today Show that Garner was on and she started crying and tried to say it was about missing her sisters and mother. She seemed so heartbroken…It’s very hard to deal with, when you love someone and they just don’t love you back…I feel bad for her…I hope for her and the kids sake, Ben just gives them anything they want, so it’s over quickly and she can get on with her life…

    • Jayna says:

      I didn’t see that until it was linked on here yesterday. I think talking about her mom and sisters, whom she was sharing the spotlight with, and at that very moment Jen so vulnerable, thinking of how much they are there for her right now while she was in the thick of her marriage falling apart, really was Jen letting down the all-is-well facade she was putting on in public. It was painful to watch her lose control of her emotions, and the interviewer knew she was in trouble and was trying to help her. Sad.

      • Maia says:

        Yeah, I knew it was over then. She was obviously very upset about something else. “My mother is under the weather” gave it all away.

      • K says:

        I’ve not seen that – my heart went out to her.

        I dunno. It’s easy to see these people as characters in a movie or something, as someone up thread commented, because they are so rich and we know them from our screens, not from physical contact. But they aren’t, of course, and right now they and their close family must be feeling really terrible. Hope it all works out for them all.

    • Angie T says:

      Yeah I thought about that interview too. My impression is that Jennifer tries sooo hard to be a responsible adult. The good mom that puts her kids’ needs first. The supportive wife that encourages her husband when he’s in doubt. Playing that role requires sucking it up and holding in your feelings sometimes. Thinking of all these other people first. I think her facade cracked from the stress of her marriage breaking down for good.

      I know it takes two to tango and they were probably fundamentally incompatible, however
      I still feel for her and the kids and I still want to shake him. I really doubt he’s going to find long lasting happiness if he can just “find the right gal.” But I think the opposite is true for her. So that’s one reason I tend to frame this breakup in an anti-Ben way.

      BTW isn’t his father a deadbeat and alcoholic? It’ll be pretty tragic if he ends up doing to his children what his father did to him.

      • Liz says:

        His kids are going to inherit his Daddy Issues. If Jennifer remarries, I hope for their sake, he’s a more dependable type.

  32. Bishg says:

    I think the saddest angle here is that celebrities seem unable to live a life for themselves.
    They are so obsessed with public image, career and glory that they forget to focus on what really is important.
    Honestly, how long did they fight for the children/couple/love/family/marriage and how long did they do it for the “Hollywood’s Golden Couple” ? In this case, I think Ben and Jen were over a long time ago and yet they put up with the show for as long as it was bearable.
    I’m not opposite to the idea of playing with media for your own advantage, but there is a limit and a line should be drawn whenever there are children involved.
    I wonder what the kids will think in a few years’time when they will be able to see all the pap-friendly strolls and that miserable look on daddy’s face and connect all the dots together.
    It’s about time celebrities understood we are now more alert than ever, the general audience isn’t so gullible as they think…

    • TheOriginalTiffany says:

      Boom. Slow clap.

    • Ash says:

      One of the best posts on this story, Bishg.

    • Kitten says:

      I agree with the first part of your statement but I disagree with it in terms of Ben and Jen’s marriage. They are the exception to the rule if you think about it. Hollywood marriages begin and end with such frequency that it will make your head spin. These guys made it 10 years (which is 100 in Hwood years lol) and actually TRIED to make the marriage work.

      Additionally, your comment ignores two things:

      1) California is one of a few states where you can benefit in alimony payments from staying married 10 years or longer.

      2) They were in therapy for two years

      So they obviously tried to make it work (personally I think they should be commended for that) and when it didn’t they decided to wait it out to reach the 10 year mark, which is just a smart financial move.

      As far as the pap strolls go…yeah I agree. It makes you wonder how they explain that stuff to their kids. FTR, I think Jen was the one behind those pap outings.

      • Bishg says:

        I am pretty sure the 10 year mark is just part of the show.
        Blindgossip.com solved one of their blind items about Bennifer 2.0 on the very day of the divorce announcement, unveiling that the separation happened well before the anniversary because Ben had no intention of paying alimony to Jennifer.
        They anticipated his move months ago.

  33. original kay says:

    wasn’t jen married, and cheated on the guy? scott foley, or something?

    maybe I’ve got the wrong jen.

  34. Tig says:

    She has always been ga-ga over him. He clearly has his issues, and can’t/won’t change. And maybe she realized she didn’t want to live the next 10 odd years of her life as a combination of nag/nursemaid to him. And I give them both a lot of credit for keeping the private stuff private. Their oldest is right when the mean girling/twitter crap starts in ernest, and certainly no need to further feed that beast. Good luck to them all.

  35. Cara says:

    Truly, this seems like a bandaid that they took about five years pulling off…marriage should not be that complicated and stressful. If it is, you are likely with the wrong person. Everybody goes through tough patches- but this union seemed like it never really had a chance.
    Let this be a cautionary tale, single folks: you can’t fix anybody.

    • lisa2 says:

      ITAWY..

      People talk about working on their marriage.. and it is true you do.. but as you said if it is that stressful and HARD.. sorry no. You have to work on making sure you spend enough time together; to talk and share.. have intimate time together especially when you have kids.. but that be made to be fun and romantic in away.. finding those moments.

      Marriage shouldn’t be like a war.

      • jen2 says:

        This is so true. They never seemed to talk about the importance of their relationship and keeping the romance and communication open. It was always about the children and how great a mother she was. Every interview with her was about how being a mother was everything. That is great and she should feel that way, but both of them never seemed to talk about each other and how they need to have time, space, romance, etc. Something always seemed to be off. They frequently talked about themselves and their individual goals and aspirations, but not each other and what they wanted to do together.

      • Penelope says:

        Actually jen2, I *did* read a Garner interview where she said they make time for sex after the kids are in bed or something along those lines.

  36. Vampi says:

    Dude must have bought his whole Batman persona.
    There is only ONE Batman, Ben.
    (Michael Keaton 4-ever!)

  37. kri says:

    Now I understand why David Fincher was so fixed on Ben for “Gone Girl”. I think he’s a prime a-hole, always did. But he is his own worst enemy. I also think she tried really hard to make him this ideal dad/husband guy, and he is the opposite of that. I wonder if/how much he will spiral now? And I really believe he hooked up with that Emily person on set. Among many others, I’m sure.

  38. TOPgirl says:

    I have no respect for Ben Aff., I personally think he let his marriage fail on purpose because he enjoys being a bachelor more than a married man. Also I think he doesn’t love Jennifer anymore judging my the looks of him when he is with her. She seems devoted to their marriage but very worn out by it as well. I can tell it has taken a toll on her physically because she doesn’t have that joyful look on her face when someone is happy in a marriage. She’ll come out of it strong and happier while Ben on the other hand will continue to be a loser and a douche. I wouldn’t be surprised if he and JLO got back together for some fun.

  39. ell says:

    i believe she walked away, she probably had enough. now hopefully she can go back to be as likeable as she was in her alias days (i was kid then and she was my idol!) and stop with the frumpy stepword wife/mum routine. she can do better, and i don’t mean better in terms of what men she can get- although it’s not hard to find better than ben affleck. i mean better in life.

    he’s a coward though. he clearly had wanted out of this marriage for a long time, yet he’d stay and behave like a right twat. ben affleck is the worst. good riddance, she should celebrate.

  40. coconut says:

    I’m not sure if this has bearing on their timing of things, but in my California divorce process there was the official “date of separation” which my attorney and I selected (I was the initiator of the divorce), even though the ex and I were still living in the marital home before and after that date. My attorney gave me the go-ahead to move out once the child “time share” schedule was approved by the court.

  41. lila fowler says:

    They shouldn’t have got married in the first place. Wasn’t she pregnant at the time? That had disaster written all over it, then they added two more band-aid kids. It seems like they’ve been struggling in this marriage since before it started.

    • dibba says:

      +1 This was doomed from the start. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant I doubt they would have married. Then they add more kids to the failing marriage. I guess people think it will help? I don’t get it. So now there are three innocent victims.

    • Ash says:

      I never understood why Ben married Jennifer when I never got the impression he was as into her as she was into him. I mean, pregnancy, notwithstanding. They were mismatched from the get go.

    • Blue says:

      Wasn’t jennifer 6 months pregnant with violet when they got married on an island by victor garber with no family or friends and when there were rumors about Blake Lively she got pregnant again and we now learn that Sam was a bandaid baby too. It seems the marriage was doomed from the start but there was no way she was going to let him go until they got to 10 years although given that they have been seperated 10 months it’s not 10 years of marriage.

  42. MoeC32 says:

    She’s a WV girl like myself so I got her back!
    #teamjen lol

  43. kibbles says:

    I’ve been looking through Celebitchy’s archives on the Afflecks for the last ten years or so and the writing has been on the wall since at least 2005. Anyone who has been a loyal gossip watcher knew that problems in this marriage became more apparent ever since the filming of The Town. By then there had already been rumors about Jen and Ben’s seeing a marriage counselor, Jen’s seeing a sex therapist, Ben’s infidelity, Ben’s flirting with co-stars, Ben’s gambling, and questions as to why he looks more adoringly at his female costars than his wife. All of this crops up around 2010 – just look at the archives, it’s all there. I believe that problems stretch back much longer than 2 years ago. It’s only that these problems started bubbling to the surface for the last three years or so because of Ben’s admitting in magazine interviews and public speeches that there were some major issues going on in this marriage and that it took a lot of work to maintain it. He also made it more apparent that he viewed his wife as more of a kind and polite person rather than his soul mate or love of his life. Everyone could just tell from his comments that he was simply thankful that Jen got his life back on track but that he just wasn’t that into her. Anyway, my point is that I am willing to bet that these two spent half of their marriage trying to make it work and that Ben was probably wanting to call it quits back in 2010 if not earlier if it wasn’t for PR reasons.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Wasn’t he also considering a run for political office a few years ago? He’d need her and the kids as a solid unit to do that successfully.

      • kibbles says:

        These two would have made a great political couple. In many ways I have thought that Jen would be better at politics than Ben. She fits the plain but attractive political wife and a so-called “working mom” who supports her lying husband to a T. She also has the perfect non-offensive answers to magazine interviews. She is always aware not to cause any controversy or rock the boat. She could be Alicia Florrick on The Good Wife. And Ben fits the swarmy, lying, and cheating husband to a T. He could have played Peter Florrick on The Good Wife as well. He would have been perfect for the role. His request to have his slave owning ancestor’s story removed from Finding Your Roots is something many politicians would have tried to do as well.

  44. PennyLane says:

    Should we start a pool on whether or not Affleck will date a woman over the age of 35 ever again?

    • tracking says:

      Depends what you mean by “date.” I think he’ll be an equal opportunity hot girl “dater” (e.g. fooling around with hot 40+ ladies like JLo too) but agree will skew young.

    • laughing girl says:

      35? You’re being awfully generous: these guys don’t date anyone over 28 tops..

      • PennyLane says:

        You’re right – I was being overly generous!

        That very pretty Wonder Woman actress is 28, which I imagine will be his target age for the next fifteen years – my original comment said “actress under 30” but then I thought, well there might be one or two really well-preserved 32 year olds….so I upped it to 35. I was being nice! ;-P

    • Kitten says:

      Yeah my money is on him dating 25-27-year-old.

    • A.Key says:

      30 tops

  45. OhDear says:

    IMO they had an agreement (both for the kids’ and his reputation’s sake) to keep the divorce amicable. Agreed that the 10 years was likely a consideration in the timing of the divorce.

  46. Longhairdontcare says:

    I guess im an Affleck apologist but i really dont understand the hate for him. He was successful in Hollywood at an extremely young age for writing none the less. I bet that turned him into a bit of a douche. Cant really blame a 22 year old with an oscar living in hollyweird. I kind of view him as a bit soft spoken actually and i dont get a douche vibe. Im not saying hes a saint if he in fact did cheat repeadedly but hes certainly not this villain hes portrayed as. I also can see how a successfull gambler gets addicted. Doing something well and getting money… Hell id keep doing it too if i could.

    • FingerBinger says:

      The hate as you put it comes from Affleck pretending to be something he wasn’t. His image as a devoted husband and family man isn’t who he really is.

      • Longhairdontcare says:

        Meh. Hes given Plenty of quotes saying he loves to work and doesnt mind being away from his kids to do so. Pictures of him at the farmers market does not mean hes pretending to be a family man.

      • Jayna says:

        @Fingerbinger, I’ve seen the opposite, quotes about missing his kids when off working but said that he also loves his career and feels fortunate because he has the means to see them when away (like most actors), Jen and the kids visiting him for the weekends often, like in Detroit, him flying home on the weekends, and said the best thing about being away working is when he pulls up to his house and all of his children come running out in the yard to greet him. How is he pretending if he works it out so he sees his kids often while shooting, flying home a lot? He’s no Jon Voight, off on location forgetting about his kids.

        I remember Jennifer saying in an interview Ben had messed up production on Batman as far as the week’s timeline, because he took off on a Monday and flew home because he wanted to take Sera to her first day of school Monday morning. And anyone knows holding up production in a movie is big bucks being lost and time is money and having to rearrange the shooting and schedule. This was never a publicity trick when he did it publicized for his image. She said it after the fact once in an interview.

        . There’s a million actors that go off on location constantly and nobody calls them a bad dad. I don’t see any evidence at all that Ben is a bad father, more like he adores his children and they adore him. A failed husband is more like it.

    • notasugarhere says:

      You can compare him to Matt Damon, who was hit with the success at the same time. Damon handled it better imo.

      • Longhairdontcare says:

        Yes i agree but Ben also took the pressure to maintain that status harder, especially when his career fell off. I think it says alot that hes got respect from a guy like Damon too.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Or they are childhood friends who stand by each other. That doesn’t mean Damon respects Affleck and his recent life choices, but they’ve been in each others lives for 4 decades. Even when your friend is an idiot, you try to be there for him because after 35 years they’re like family.

      • kibbles says:

        The deterioration of the Afflecks’ marriage could explain why these two couples did not hang out much together and it could give credence to the rumor that Jen and Damon’s wife were not chummy with each other. That would make sense if the Damons have a solid marriage while Jen was constantly making excuses and covering Ben’s drinking, gambling, and infidelities. It doesn’t feel good when you’re in a miserable marriage to hang out with a couple who is truly happy and in love.

      • Kitten says:

        OR maybe Luciana doesn’t like Jen because Jen’s a pain in the ass.
        OR maybe Jen doesn’t like Luciana because Luciana is a pain in the ass.

        Or maybe the two women simply don’t like each other, maybe they’re different people or don’t have similar interests.

        The last scenario is actually the most probable, it’s very common. It’s actually happened to me before. Not every piece of gossip with this these two has to do with their marriage.

  47. G says:

    In other words, nobody knows a damn thing except Ben and Jennifer, as it should be!

    • Caz says:

      Yep I’m not getting too invested in this. They were unhappy together and now they’re apart. Smarter than staying together for the sake of children and image.

  48. LizzyFizzy says:

    This idea that she “threatened” him with gossip to stay past the tenth anniversary seems VERY unlikely to me. She has always, always seemed much more smitten with him than he ever seemed with her and inclined to forgive him again and again. She worked hard to protect his image when she could’ve gone public with his cheating and sailed out in a blaze of sympathetic press years ago. If Celebitchy’s report that he was pressuring her to file before the anniversary was true, I think she (and their people) actually convinced him to delay the announcement and lie about the movers to protect HIS image, not hers. If he was moving his stuff out on Father’s Day weekend (!) and had officially filed before their landmark anniversary (a la Tom Cruise with Nicole Kidman), he would have been crucified in the media as a lousy husband and father trying to cheat his long-suffering wife out of a good settlement. This announcement seems more like a compromise designed specifically not to hurt his PR: make an announcement about amicable mediation, rather than filing, and time it so he’s not accused of trying to shelter his income from the ten-year rule (even if the ten-year rule doesn’t apply as much to them). I don’t see him as together enough to make these kinds of thoughtful decisions, only her. He just wants to bail and she’s the one bailing him out…for the final time.

    • Jayna says:

      OMG, I wrote a similar post down below and hadn’t seen your post. Great minds think alike. Well, your post is written better than mine, but same observation and sentiment.

    • Angie T says:

      Wow good points. This makes alot of sense to me

  49. lisa2 says:

    Well there goes the theory that they won’t divorce because he wants a political career..but then if he does it would be a big comeback thing.

  50. Wisteria says:

    Everyone starts out with “we want this divorce to be amicable”. I even did. It rarely happens. The ten tear rule can also mean that, for a first marriage, he or she will be the benefecator of social security upon ex spouses death, in this case Ben’s.

  51. Ellen says:

    Well, the USMagazine article was clearly sourced by someone in Ben’s camp:

    “”Ben truly wanted his idea of family life and the idea of family he had growing up in Boston so he stayed in it longer than he wanted to because of the kids and the idea of family,” the source adds. “But he couldn’t save it.”

    I don’t think there are innocent victims or evil villains when a marriage fails, and I suspect they were never compatible from the start (although I do believe that Ben valued their happy-family Dream as much as Jen did). But maybe, if he wanted the marriage to work so much, he should have spent less time gambling and drinking and tried not sleeping with his costars for a stretch.

    • tracking says:

      If this is from his camp (which I agree it sounds like), what whiny self-justifying crap. And way to stick it to your wife, making it clear that you were just dying to get out. I don’t believe he tried at all to save this marriage. smh.

    • Kitten says:

      “I don’t think there are innocent victims or evil villains when a marriage fails, and I suspect they were never compatible from the start”

      ^^THIS definitely^^

      That statement is insulting to Garner I think. It reads like he was just into the fantasy of being a husband and having kids and that it never had anything to do with loving her and wanting to start a family with HER.

      Oh well. I suppose they’re both playing and manipulating the press right now. I hope that they keep it civil for their kids’ sake.

  52. wow says:

    No sympathy for Jenn at all from me. She was rumored to be a cheater during her first marriage. No sympathy for Ben either and the kids will more than likely be better off without the drama between their parents.

    Now they can stop with the fake “our marriage is doing great and we’re still in love” pap strolls.

  53. Jayna says:

    I have a theory on waiting until the ten-year anniversary had passed. It was never Jen holding his feet to the fire on this date and about money. They are both wealthy and no pre-nup, and Ben has always acknowledged having this family with Jennifer and Jennifer there to support him emotionally and hold the fort down at home made it all possible for him to have a great family and still be able to resurrect his career project by project. He was never going to fight her on anything. I believe he will keep the Savannah beach house on Hampton Island because he bought that before even dating her and loves that property.

    He didn’t want the divorce announcement before the ten years so that it didn’t look like he was trying to get out of the marriage right before ten years and thus trying to shaft her out of some benefits (alimony maybe, etc.) that might be available to her by hitting ten years, or at least in the eyes of the public would look that way. And perception is everything.

    Remember the backlash to Tom Cruise for trying to claim the separation happened a month or two before the 10-year mark. To the public, it left a bad impression. The circumstances with the two couples are probably different regarding the ten years as there was a pre-nup with Nicole, but the public I think would blame Ben for trying to be underhanded, even if not true. Hence, Ben and Jen announced their split one day after the anniversary mark.

    • LizzyFizzy says:

      + 1

    • Maia says:

      If it is true that Ben is not leaving the property it may mean that he is gearing up to try and get shared custody of the kids. He apparently moved to another part of their property when she was not in town. Which seems to suggest that things are not as hunky dory as they might want us to believe. And he has been wanting to get out for years.
      I think that he made the final call on the marriage and Jen might have been willing to drag it along till the kids were much older.
      I think that it is unfair to blame either of them. Sometimes people make mistakes when they are young and carry all sorts of unrealistic expectations from their teens and early twenties. Jen has said that Ben was the kind of tall large hunk she dreamed of as a teenager who would have her babies. Maybe that is why she fell hard for him and blinded herself to the fact that he was not exactly marriage material. Ben probably went along with it because she was attractive and fun initially, and after the JLO debacle, good for his image. Maybe he genuinely believed that he could change and Jen was the one who would help him do that. Once all the fun left – which was probably soon after the first baby or 2-3 years into the relationship, things started to get rough.
      It sounds like both of them did try to make it work with lots of counselling and fostering intimacy through coffee runs together etc. Ultimately if there is no real will from both sides these things don’t work. And I don’t believe that Ben is the type that stays in LT relationships. Some people just can’t do it. I am sure he loved Jen in some way, just not forever.

      • PennyLane says:

        If they can both live amicably on the same (presumably large) property, that will be awesome for their children. It would really be fantastic for the children to just be able to walk over to their Dad’s house anytime they felt like it.

        I had a friend in elementary school whose divorced parents lived two blocks apart and it was great – my friend and her brother would go and hang out at their Dad’s house without having to call or make plans or stick to a prearranged schedule. As a result they were all still in each other’s lives in a very casual, daily way that is almost always lost with divorce.

      • JoJo says:

        +1000

    • Kitten says:

      Very interesting, Jayna. Makes sense…

  54. Joanie says:

    This was never going to last. Their body language was always so off, and he never looks at her in photos. He never seemed like a happily married guy.

  55. Lady Esme says:

    I guess you guys haven’t heard the rumor about Ben being the father of Bristol’s baby.

  56. Penelope says:

    For all his money, fame, and success, Ben always seems miserable. Good luck to him in finding a life that makes him happy.

    • kibbles says:

      Just goes to show that money cannot buy love or happiness. Their net worth is an estimated $115 million, they own luxury homes in practically ever region of the USA, and have all the money in the world to take time off to work on their marriage and seek the best counseling. Money can cause problems just as much as it can solve them depending on a person’s choice. Ben chose to use his millions on excessive gambling and trips to meet side pieces. Jen chose to ignore the writing on the wall in favor of maintaining a false image of the perfect family to amass more wealth. In the end it blew up in their faces.

  57. Ratchetosity says:

    Everyone completely underplays Ben’s addiction issues.

    Ben is an addict.

    He thought that marrying her would bandaid his own issues.

    I see it in all the pics, especially the one above because I lived it. She’s looking at him wanting him to get better and he’s just sheisty as fuck.

    He thought she could give him stability. She wanted it to work. He did too. Thats why they tried so hard. And like someone said above they waited until just after the 10 year mark to show no animosity because they did try.

    Ben cannot be happy until he resolves his drug and alcohol problems. Cheating/women are secondary and come with the alcohol and drugs just because. He doesn’t mean anything by that shit and thats why she tolerated it.

    They love each other but their body language was off because she was a babysitter, not his lover for the majority of their marriage.

    That is my perception of all of this. Ben is a functioning addict – he hides his issues a lot better than other guys in Hollywood because he had the perfect wife who wanted it bad enough to cover for him.

    • Andrea says:

      This is very sad but I couldn’t agree more with the analysis of the above.

    • notasugarhere says:

      It reminds me of the Cox-Arquette breakup. She was tired of being the only adult in the relationship and wanted to be his wife – not his mother.

    • minx says:

      I agree. I do think he gave domesticity a shot and it failed. And when someone wants out or doesn’t love you that way anymore, there is nothing you can do.

    • LizzyFizzy says:

      + 1, Rachetosity. ^This. So much.^

      It’s obvious he yo-yos between sobriety and addiction.

      She has protected him for so long and tried to keep him sober/away from gambling/women that I cannot understand why people are still mad at her, re: any shadiness with the end of her marriage to Scott Foley/Michael Vartan. She was really emotionally invested in Affleck and their children. Anyone who saw her crying on Today could see that. Losing it in front of skeezy Matt Lauer wasn’t a planned move on her part. She tried for a decade, probably through all kinds of ups and downs and maybe even outright resentment on his part. Some of his interview quotes about her were begrudging at best. I would read them and wince.

      And without her, his career would be worse off. The pictures from last spring of him in Detroit looking all bloated and like he’d been gambling all night? Those would be media kryptonite in a single forty year old male star known for chasing strippers. It would be Pre-Amal George Clooney 2.0: the Budget Edition. Eye-rolling and Golden Globes jokes, rather than “Oh, I hope he gets better for his wife and kids.” And then he might have insurance/production/box office issues that would hurt his projects.

      http://www.celebitchy.com/366467/ben_affleck_also_gambled_heavily_in_detroit_uh_oh_or_at_least_its_just_cards/

    • The Original Mia says:

      Well said.

    • Jane says:

      So what is going to happen now? She will no longer be there to “protect” his image.

  58. Andrea says:

    He reminds me of my alcoholic ex boyfriend. I mothered him more than was his lover for the last year of our 3 year relationship and it was exhausting. That final picture of them speaks volumes. The other pictures also, she seemed enamored in him and he seems meh whatever.

    • HoustonGrl says:

      I feel your pain! I had the same experience, my boyfriend from college never transitioned out of the party stage. By the third year of our relationship, I felt like the parent. He was a sweet guy, but I recognize that drunked/hungover look on affleck’s face, esp in these most recent photos.

  59. Jayna says:

    @MrsBPitt and Mia, I found the full clip of Jennifer’s Today show interview where she started crying back in April. It’s interesting what she said right before they went into her Southern Living spread with her mom and sisters and started crying. They were talking about her movie, Danny Collins, with Al Pacino and Annette Benning. Which I’ve been waiting for it to come out on DVD. The reviews by critics and audiences were great.

    She reflects on the movie and says we can all relate in our own lives. “This film asks you to stop and take stock for a minute and ask, what was the road not taken for me and how could I have done things differently? And it’s never too late to fix anything you have regret over. ”

    She never really recovered from the tears, even by the end and changing subjects all the way to the end, when she was still wiping away tears. It starts at the 2:00 mark. I wonder if her mom is sick or something more than just under the weather as she said, but it obviously has to do also with the fact that by the middle of March the marriage was over and she was hiding it and all of her emotions came out that morning. It was heartbreaking watching her.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TQGYxkHwpU

    • LizzyFizzy says:

      + 1. That was heartbreaking. At the time, I wondered if her mother was secretly ill as well.

      • Maia says:

        I just realized that there were two times she broke down on TV. This one above, and then once during another show which I don’t remember. My goodness ! Poor girl. Absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

    • Cirien says:

      Especially as she referenced families splitting up in that segment….

  60. Me too says:

    Am I the only one that thinks he might reunite with Jlo?

    • Jayna says:

      He’s been there, done that. He might hit it one night. He was over her entourage, and high maintenance, false eyelashes and assistants with her hair and stuff. He will be with some younger-then-him new actress to crush on.

    • YvesWestwood says:

      No their relationship was a publicity stunt.

  61. Sammy says:

    Birth control, people. The guy has always been a cheating, gambling, substance abuser. There’s no reason to bring so many kids into it. Three in ten years is a lot. We just don’t raise an eyebrow because they’re rich. They have a lot of problems that money could never solve.

  62. Sara says:

    That’s sad, but honestly Ben seems like a class A douche and Jen comes across as super straight laced. She seems like a good mom, I predict she gets full custody and he has a 20-something, model/actress, ego soothing girlfriend within 6 months.

  63. MSat says:

    He’ll be holding hands with some 20-something ingenue in time for the “Batman vs Superman” red carpet gauntlet.

    That’s how Hollywood works. Ben gets to be middle-aged Batman with a hot young girlfriend; Jennifer will be stuck doing Lifetime movies and Capitol One ads.

  64. Jayna says:

    From TMZ:

    “There are clearly 2 views on the demise of the marriage. As we first reported, some sources with a bird’s-eye view have told us Jen was fed up with Ben’s booze and blackjack habits. But other sources who are also very familiar with the couple are saying when push came to shove, Jennifer made no mention of alcohol and gambling … her beef was that Ben wasn’t a “present husband.”
    Fact is … Ben has had back-to-back film projects for several years, and spent much of his time out of town. The sources say Jen felt ignored and neglected, and they argued frequently over it.
    These sources say this has nothing to do with Ben being a neglectful dad. Quite the opposite, they say he’s a great dad who does everything he can for the kids. And, we’re told, she didn’t really have any beef about his parenting skills … her problem was with Ben as a husband.
    In the end, we’re told the breakup was mutual. Ben felt he was a good husband, who was juggling his career and family, but it wasn’t enough for her.”

    • LizzyFizzy says:

      Those “other sources” sound an awful lot like Ben’s buddies/staff, trying to paint her as a shrew and downplay reports of his on-set issues. Already? Yuck!

  65. tracking says:

    So let me get this straight. Ben was pretty much always out of town, and yet was a totally awesome husband and father. Riiight. (but nice try, Ben and friends)

  66. Frosty says:

    The whole things sounds more and more like a Goop style uncoupling. The only thing I find curious is the deal with him living in a separate residence on the same property. It’s great for the kids, and I guess limits their post-divorce pap walks. He probably won’t be in residence much anyway.

  67. FWIW says:

    I don’t buy the months separation excuse that Ben and his team have come up with to explain his cheating. He got caught cheating again and Jennifer finally gave up. There is no way to sugar coat his lack of morals. This guy will never be faithful to anyone and will forever be a selfish, insensitive douchebag.

  68. Whatever Gurl says:

    Remember when Ben dumped JLo & how he put all the blame on her?

    How being associated with her tarnished his career? How he went from being liked to despised because he went along with her push to hit the tanning salon and slick his hair?

    How he was so miserable with JLo? And everyone said its her fault, she’s bad for your career. JLo is trashy, Garner is the classy one. It’s not your fault Ben for cheating and gambling on JLo.

    Garner knows how he flips the scripts. She is coming out aggressively but this won’t be an amicable divorce because Ben has to be liked.

    Remember his whining over Bennifer’s implosion?

    And yes, I think there is a trace of racism that Lopez is called trashy and the wrong kind of woman but Garner & other Anglo women are Southern and oh so classy. Gag.

    • LizzyFizzy says:

      I forgotten some of that, but you are spot-on, Whatever Gurl! He really trashed J. Lo, didn’t he? And implied their professional work together had derailed his career, even though he had other high-profile flops and a loooong history of messiness in his personal life. And he was the one who cheated on J. Lo! That smacks of narcissism and always blaming someone else for your problems. I’ve always thought he was, at best, begrudging of Garner and, at worst, dismissive and belittling. Remember that one interview where he said someone had explained to him that “women in middle America are just interested in my wife” with this condescending tone? Ugh.

      As J. Lo said jokingly in a radio interview when they asked her if she’d save Diddy or Ben, “I’d let both of those m—f’ers drown!”

    • Nuna says:

      I don’t think calling JLo trashy is racist. If Ben Affleck’s first taste of celebrity coupledom had been dating Zoe Saldana, for example, no one would have called her out for being trashy. JLo is trashy because of her constant references to her backside, her awful dress sense, and her lack of intelligence and talent.

      I think Ben Affleck will do a George and Amal in ten years’ time and get himself a “credible” wife after a decade of partying. He needs approval like crazy.

  69. Liz says:

    He’s always seemed like a distant dad, so I doubt it will be too much of a change for those cute kids of his.

  70. ann says:

    I feel bad for Jen because now she has to send her children off with Ben and God knows what will be going on when they are with him.

    • tracking says:

      Pretty sure she’ll send the nanny too, since he probably has no clue how to do the basic caretaking of the three kids. Maybe now he’ll have to learn, at least a little? He probably won’t have them for too long at any given time, and can surely keep his shenanigans on the DL when they’re around.

      • jaya says:

        Maybe the nanny was part of the problem lol. Haven’t seen her pictured with them for a while and she was part of the fam for years. Hmmmmm.

  71. holly hobby says:

    Well I’m going to be honest, the demise of their marriage really made me sad. He pretty much threw away his family in exchange for booze, strippers and gambling. 🙁

    But I’m not surprised. It seems Ben’s dad did the same thing. He walked out on the family and had addiction issues as well. I can assume Ben takes after him and the brother takes after the mom. You never hear a bad word about his brother!

  72. Sassy says:

    In a community property state, not only do you share the income of the time of the marriage, but you also share the debts. If Ben ran up huge gambling debts during the marriage, they would also become Jen’s debts. I know this because I went through a divorce in a community property state. Lucky me!

  73. jaya says:

    Just curious about the “insiders” and “sources” – are they friends, hired help, family, what? If they were sold out by friends, who needs enemies? Hardly original, but all I could come up with 😉

  74. Brightspark says:

    Re the pap walks, I’ve been to those Sunday farmers’ markets and they’re nice. I bet their daughters see friends and families from their school and like going and get to eat treats etc. BUT the adults in that family know the pap interest & know their family will be hammered by cameras & the paps yelling. He/she/they wanted those pictures out there. To continue going was not child focussed. They made that choice. They will both be fine. They are wealthy, attractive and accomplished people.

  75. Nimbolicious says:

    Dude strikes me as super petulant and babyish. Wants to be a total boozer and gambler with a free-range peen while someone else does the messy and boring grown-up stuff like parenting. He’s a hot mess and a typical narcissistic addict. I imagine she enabled him for a long while by cleaning up his messes and looking the other way, which is probably why the relationship lasted as long as it did.

    • Tara says:

      Yeah and even his narcissistic, addict, peen-hound ways weren’t good enough for Jen. That woman was clearly too demanding. /s

    • Nuna says:

      He comes across as more insecure than narcissistic to me. Insecure about not having been the best looking in high school kind of thing, so he has to play around and enjoy excesses to purge the demon. Brain dead and has a teen guy’s mentality about life, especially about “upgrading” every ten years for a new trophy wife. Not to say every guy (or woman) has to do the married with children thing to be a grown up; just saying he’s not owning his own vices and they come from the usual place, probably.

      • Mltpsych says:

        Narcissists are insecure

      • lisa2 says:

        Funny you say that about him being insecure. I just saw a video of him talking about how women weren’t that attracted to him until he got a movie role. Then they were all over him. he was saying he was the same person so why the difference. Ben has always struck me as a wolf in sheeps clothing. When you look at him he is handsome and he give a vibe of someone very boring.. reminds me of Henry Cavill there is just something off about him. Because he has these bad boy things going on.

  76. Nicole says:

    Omg, I have to say it: She’s been the better actor this whole time. Him, we all read. But she threw us off! Whodathunkit!?

  77. Georgia says:

    Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner To Share Custody of Matt Damon After Divorce http://goo.gl/gbsciJ
    It’s always hardest on the children.

  78. Gabriella says:

    He looked miserable from day 1 of this marriage.