How did we not see this breakup coming? Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have split after four decades together. They only got married a year ago, but this is sort of like Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria. They stayed together forever but just couldn’t dig marriage together. Perhaps he was threatened by her awesomeness, and she got tired of living with a clown. And I think I’m referring to both couples here.
The world seems crushed by this disastrous news, but I saw it coming. Remember a few months ago when Piggy received a feminist honor and shaded a certain “male chauvinist amphibian“? No one took me seriously when I said Kermit was always trying to steal Piggy’s sunshine. His mouth was always flying open on the red carpet when she should have been the rightful star. Piggy’s resentment built up so much, and those Rashida Jones cheating stories didn’t help. Here is the sad joint announcement from the divorcing couple:
Here is the official statement on @KermitTheFrog and moi's relationship termination: pic.twitter.com/0OAdorFV6S
— Miss Piggy (@RealMissPiggy) August 4, 2015
I guess we’ll have to wait for the tabloids to tell us what really happened to break up this marriage. Poor Piggy Botoxed herself to the hilt to impress Mr. Green, and he didn’t even notice. We could make a nanny joke here, but no kids (besides Kermit) are involved. Kaiser says she heard Piggy was banging Blake Shelton, but I think Kermit was no saint. Maybe they were both banging other animals, who knows? There are simply no guarantees in love.
Here’s the real bad news. One tipster says Kermit has already moved on with another pig.
Just in: Kermit is dating a new pig. Name's Denise. Works in marketing at ABC. #TCA15
— Joe Adalian (@TVMoJoe) August 4, 2015
Photos courtesy of WENN
On the bright side, at least he can eat bacon again?
ETA: Denise from marketing is a pig, too?!? Can’t wait to see Denise’s pap strolls at the Beverly Hilton.
Ah haha! Mmm bacon
He was “eating” bacon when he was with her – ha ha ha
Free the Bacon!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Dt3IrdampY
Ms. Piggy was an abusive wife. I’m glad Kermie got out as quickly as he did. No one deserves a ‘hi-yah!’ To the neck every day.
I knew SOMETHING was up when he suddenly knew everyone’s tea…
Ah, Ms. Piggy was his beard and they had a contract all along…Kermit has been slipping off to Cookie Monster’s crumb den late at night…some say they had an orgy at Bert and Ernie’s crib and sometimes took their crazy cookie powder filled soirees to Paris during Fashion Week. No news here, contract is over for the piglet, she’s old news.
Ah, another stroll down memory lane. I used to read “When Grover Comes Over” to my kids when they were little. I never imagined those “sleep-overs” might have been covers for orgies! LOL!
is NOTHING sacred anymore.
this has got to be a publicity stunt from Miss Piggy’s camp after Kermit’s public resurgence with the “sips tea” memes.
SMFH
Pure PR. They have a TV show to promote.
OMG, that was pure comedy!! lmao!!!
Nothing is sacred…
Well, she did make a movie last year with that notorious homewrecker Tom Hiddleston so this should come as no surprise.
Hahahaahaha – Miss Piggy and the Lord of Dragonflies. Hmmmm, now there’s a smutty match i could ship about 😉
And dragonflies are a staple in a frog’s diet. Miss Piggy has been quite distraught over Kermit’s threats to devour her lover.
Ah of course! Elizabeth Olsen is just a distraction from the real scandal.
Now that Piggy is free, Lizzy will be tossed to the curb where Jeremy Renner can console her. This is just a vicious circle all around.
“Ah of course! Elizabeth Olsen is just a distraction from the real scandal”.
“Now that Piggy is free, Lizzy will be tossed to the curb where Jeremy Renner can console her. This is just a vicious circle all around.”
(Sigh)
Hollywood is a cesspool
Good. Kermit was always such a fukkboi. And he’s already dating again??? Poor Piggy.
Kermie gets a pass from me for getting back out there so quickly because a frog’s lifespan is so much shorter than humans. I was about to be upset with K but then I thought hey, would I harp on Rowlf the dog for not waiting a full human year? No, I would not because 1 dog year is equal to 7 dog years.
correction – 1 human year = 7 dog years
Piggy is far too fabulous to be a one frog pig
Fabulous is how I describe Piggy’s latest video: BBHMM http://www.vulture.com/2015/07/vulture-remix-miss-piggy-rihanna-bbhmm.html
I think Kermit is playing for the green team now.
Any (human) woman named Denise that works in marketing at ABC is probably SO pissed right now.
Nooooooooooooo!!!!! Am soo upset about this.
Thou seriously – LOL. Publicity stunt Miss Piggy.
Noooo – they cannot split. What am I going to tell my little niece who saw this couple as the ultimate couple…
The most important message is tell your niece she did not cause this breakup, don’t take sides, and don’t volunteer any sordid details or rumors. Give age appropriate answers to her questions and she will get through this.
Loool thank you so much for the advice 😂
Love Is Dead. I am devastated.
Literally just scrolling down to say this. It’s over. Love and monogamy and hope are dead, shot through the heart. Time for everyone to slip into an SATC movie style Mexicoma and just wait for nothing to happen ever again. I’ll meet you all in Mexico.
(I’m admitting I saw the SATC movie, that’s how bad shit is, people. It wasn’t the sequel so there’s still hope but yes I saw it. I’m pouring wine into a half empty nutella jar and drunk singing ‘I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IIIIISSSSSS’, feel free to join me).
Kermit was seen emerging stealthily from Oscar the Grouch’s trash can at 2 a.m. Just saying.
well i’m getting divorced and Kermie is getting divorced…..YES !!! Look out Denise i’m a coming for you Biotch….
Noooooooooo ( slides slowly down the wall all dramatic like)
I am so disappointed in Denise from marketing, how could she do that the hussy.
Thank god. Piggy was so abusive to Kermit.
And she stalked him for decades.
I’m surprised he married her in the first place.
Imma sit right here with you Jegede. My thoughts exactly.
#TEAMGREEN
+1 Yeah, K was majorly frogpecked by P. Hopefully he’ll grow a pair.
Plus, I heard he wanted kids and she didn’t.
Yes. Kermit is better off.
Agreed. She wore him down. Kermit should’ve never tied himself to Piggy
.
I heard Kermie has tadpoles on ice that he’d like to unfreeze but the domineering pig is content to just let them rot in perpetuity, throughout the universe, in any medium known or hereafter devised.
Pinky,
I also loved the way they wrote “in perpetuity, throughout the universe, in any medium known or hereafter devised.” Talk about karmic contractual lockdown. Wow!!
Finally! He’s better off without her. She was more into the very idea of a relationship for lo these several decades than he ever was…and yes, I remember how she lunged out of a chorus line to grab him at the very beginning: way back in the 70’s!
Kermit looks so sweet and happy in that picture with Piggy kissing him in the car… She might be a bit overbearing, but I’m sure he will find out the grass isn’t greener and he will start missing her.
Miss Piggy was always too fabulous for Kermit.
Yep. He couldn’t handle it.
It ain’t easy being green.
Damn, you beat me to it
I see Miss Piggy’s team is out ahead of the whole thing.
I feel bad for Kermit…I heard that Miss Piggy was always drunk, and acting like a diva…stumbling around in her stilettos, half naked, with a glass of wine in each hand. Yelling at him in her drunken state and telling him he wasn’t good enough for her…..Oh, wait, that was Mariah Carey!
LOL
Miss P may not be a boozer but she has to be a secret binge eater. I never once believed those commercials where Miss P claimed she only ate Pringles lite.
This is EXACTLY what I think every time I see Mariah. I think they are another SWF type of relationship like Beyoncé and Kim K. Not saying Mariah is a pig, but the similarities are uncanny.
LOL! I was like, “damn, that sounds like Mariah” even before I got to the end of your sentence. Too funny!
I’ve believed for years that Kermit was living on the down-low. Toad AND Frog have both been spotted arriving and departing Kermie’s bachelor pad wearing burqas. Reason F & T were recognized? Sandals with no socks.
BTW, Arnold Lobel created the kids’ book series Frog and Toad.
He was banging the nanny, that one stoned-looking hippie Muppet…remember Kermit’s nephew, Robin? I had to Google it, but there’s a blind item that he’s really his son.
Now the nanny, whose name I have not bothered to Google, is hanging around sesame street in hip huggers and fringe, waiting for the paps she called.
Silence from the pig camp, which is unheard of.
I suspect we will hear more as the day unfolds.
I thought he was banging the one with green striped socks?
Her name is Janice 😉
I heard Piggy’s side piece is a real Animal.
I just hope Janice doesn’t start SWF-ing Miss Piggy!
Kermit was alway half naked or naked. Going around town dipping his “water weed” in every friendly pond and swamp. But there are rumours that Miss Piggy has been seen bringing freshly baked cookies to the home of Cookie Monster
I guess this is the end of “Permit” 🙁
Oh hell Nooo why??? I cannot believe these two bites the dust what happen!
My money is on the nanny…….Kermit you jerk! 😉
Of course, it could have been Miss Piggy and the nanny.
It’s always those damn nannies.
Which is weird because I heard their nanny didn’t really have much to do round theirs on account of the distinct lack of children so she had to moonlight as a Jackie Stallone impersonator to fill in the financial blanks.
Whatever you’re into, Kermit, I guess.
There’s no such thing as true love. *sniff sniff *
Apparently he was always fat shaming her, so she started porking someone else.
Good one!
Maybe he wanted to have sex on Thursdays instead of Mondays!
Haw!
NOOOOOOO!! My day is roont.
😰😱😩 😖😡💔
I don’t understand the point of this. I’m not being snarky; I’m genuinely perplexed. Is this a legitimate Sesame Street initiated story or a joke from someone outside of SS? It’s been a looong while since I was a kid watching the show but I still thought it was above tabloid-level junk. If it’s actually from SS, I don’t get the msg they’re trying to send the kids about marriage/divorce?
jen I Too dont understand any of it, Maybe I Figured as a Foreigner not raised in the U.S but personally I dont get the whole thing with Muppets or them generating any type of headline/being interviewed or anything, I mean I dont find them particularly cute or funny or have that attachment to them But the fact this was all over the morning shows and whatever else is super perplexing and overly twee by half
It’s(IMO)a funny take on the almost daily barrage of breakups – Ben and Jen, Blake and Miranda, Gwen and Gavin, Kate and Jamie, Reba and hubby and possibly Reese and her other half. It’s meant to evoke the hilarious responses posted here.
It’s for a new Muppets show coming in ABC
FYI: The original Muppets show was targeted towards adults.
I thought the Muppets started on Sesame Street.
@meme Nope, other way round.
Miss Piggy was never on Sesame Street. It’s for the new Muppet show.
Me neither. Someone please explain. Little kids will be upset.
It’s a joke. They are promoting a show and making fun of ‘conscious uncoupling’ and other celebrity breakups. It’s not that serious.
Well, I mean, Miss Piggy was always an emotional, over the top character. From my older memories of any muppet show, she was often abusive and dismissive to other muppets/people, and in the Weezer video, she even kind of kidnapped a guy and tied him up. So I don’t think it was really an idealized love off the bat, just a relationship that has nostalgia and I don’t really know how many years, over 30 years? I get that people feel sad, even over a fictional relationship because it’s lasted so long.
Yeah, me too actually. This is weird stuff, but then I decided to just play along with it. I never liked the Miss Piggy character anyway. If she had been a real living person who I had to deal with in my family or at work, she would have driven me bonkers.
I think . . . I think he will hunker down somewhere in a frogcave, coming out every now and then to sun himself on lilypads and get fat on flies and drunk on cheap swamp water. For her, she will probably Botox what she hasn’t, shop, lunch with friends, date younger men (or frogs) for a while and perhaps become a closest drunk. But in the end, I think (no hope) that they will come to realize that they cannot survive without the dysfunction of the other.
Pap photos are coming. And, yes, I believe Kermit and Rashida are hooking up.
Piggy don’t play Rashida. You in danger girl.
I thought they’ve been married for decades.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ChbqaTIs8
They got married at the end of The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984). Though it appears Kermit may have been under duress at the time, so it might not have been legally binding…?
But, but, but – they were on the cover of Vague! They were such a beautiful couple.
I really thought this one was forever. My day is ruined.
Maybe she was the one having an affair with Ben Affleck and THATS the real reason they split and the nanny is the cover/beard!!!!! Ben does like them more famous than him.
Poor Kermie *she says in her best Miss Piggy voice*
“Maybe she was the one having an affair with Ben Affleck and THATS the real reason they split and the nanny is the cover/beard!!!!! Ben does like them more famous than him”.
I would not be surprised… It´s nothing sacred anymore?
I know that Frog did her wrong, but she knew who he was the whole time. Being someones beard, does not turn into him coming to the bacon side of the street. You can’t catch feelings in your contracted bearding roll. He wasn’t never gone stop messing around with Bert and Ernie. Not to mention the “tea” drinking problem he has developed as of late. There are some good Frogs, Bears, and other assorted wild kingdom foe her to get wit. I just saw that she has joined Tinder. Tinder is not the place for you gurl.
I always got the feeling she was kind of sex-starved. Did you see The Muppet Show the night she stalked Rudolph Nureyev in the sauna and tried to take his towel off? Shameless hussy.
It’s definitely the summer of sad celeb divorces!
Miss Piggy — girl, you can do so much better! 🙂
Did neither Kermit nor Denise see Piggy’s BBHMM video? I mean…she’s going to snatch Denise’s wig and Kermit might get a cap in his ass. I mean…seriously…Team Piggy here.
Kermit always loved her way more than she loved him. Just look at the original Muppet movie. You’ll see what I mean. All of that fawning … Soooo embarrassing to watch.
Kermit knew what he was getting into, but loved her too much anyway. She is just a selfish, narcissistic pig who married Kermit to save her reputation.
Just so glad there were no little froggy-pigs/piggy-frogs (friggies? poggies?) involved.
Porkywogs?
Froglets? Pigpoles? Tadlets? Pigpoles sounds so much more descriptive but tadlets just rolls off the tongue (not literally, don’t be gross. We’re not French.)
You know Miss P. would certainly have had a surrogate to preserve her figure, complicating the naming of the progeny.
He´s coming out of the closet
I knew it! My Gaydar never failed me!
You could always find some other frog if you stop bearding Miss Piggy
GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!!!!
KERMIT has been Ernie’s lover all along! NOT Bert! Oh my gawd, it makes so much sense now! B&E actually are just roommates. Oh thank goodness! Because Bert and Ernie would be terrible as a romantic couple, they clash too much as it is.
You all are hilarious. I came here for the comments knowing they’d be great!
“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending.” – Kermit the Frog
Maybe Kermit took his own advice.
You can’t trust a blonde, call me Kermit 😄
I saw her kissing Will Smith at this small out of the way place a month ago. He was saying something about waiting until September.
I was their server and he’s a bad tipper so screw him.
I heard Kanye is face palming so hard right now. Why did he rush into things with Kim K when the woman he’d actually been pursuing all along was a mere three years away? All of those attempts to make Kim blonde and wear piglet pink just suddenly make so much sense. (Insert suuuuper bitchy comparison between Piggy and Kim’s nose and upper lip situation here)
But Miss Piggy has always been upfront about her plastic surgery. I once heard her admit to being more than 90% plastic, if I recall correctly. Although that may conflict with her more recent admission to being 99% Botox. In any case, she is a forthright and honest pig. Not sure Kanye could handle that. He might explode into a zillion pieces.
Piggy is a total narcissist. Team Green!
Hear, hear! And Piggy was physically abusive. Kermie deserves better.
This story reminds me of an inappropriate joke from my childhood:
Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with vinegar & honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet & sour pork.
*rimshot*
They’ll get back together eventually. Probably sooner than later.
This post and comments are some many shades of awesome!
Kermit just couldn’t handle the awesomeness of Miss Piggy. She’s too much of a woman for him. 😄
I really don’t get it.