Amber Rose is promoting her new book, How to Be a Bad Bitch. (NSFW warning on the book jacket, which looks like a scene from the Spice Channel circa 1997.) After reading some of her new interview with Time Magazine, I think a more accurate title would be How to Be a Basic Bitch. Amber insists that she’s an entrepreneur with people working for her and that she makes her own money. Then she contradicts herself by telling women that they should use their “seductive skills to get money from our significant others.”
I admire how outspoken she can be about women’s rights, and her slut walk was media-savvy feminist commentary paired with self promotion. She got famous as Kanye West’s girlfriend, then as Wiz Khalifa’s plus one, but she’s defensive about this and yet does nothing to counter it in this Time piece:
She made a million but didn’t save enough for taxes
“I feel like I’m in a position to give advice to women because I’ve made all of these mistakes. One of the biggest financial mistakes that I ever made was making a lot of money—I wanna say I made $1 million in 2011—and I spent all of it. And then after that, I had to pay taxes, and I did not have money for the taxes, and I was like, ‘I cannot believe I did this.’ And I really had to start over … I know a whole lot of people that don’t pay taxes. And it comes back to bite you in the ass. Trust me. So I did pay all my taxes off, and I feel amazing now, but it took a lot of hard work.”She advises women to get friends and men to pay
“If they’re your friends, they’ll respect [that you’re trying to save money]. Tell them that you’re trying to save up for whatever it may be, and if they want you to come out with them then it has to be their treat. As women, we’re fortunate enough to use our seductive skills in order to be able to get money from our significant others. I also talk about seduction in the book. A lot of women don’t know how to seduce a man. It is extremely easy once you get to that point, and you can get anything you want out of them. And I know it might sound messed up, but once you get to that point, it’s not using. It’s not using a man, it’s literally getting what you want by any means necessary.”Don’t disrespect her for being a stripper in the past
“I am a mogul. I have a bunch of businesses, I’m now an actress, I’m an author, I went on an entire world tour and I don’t even sing. So if that doesn’t tell you that I am an entrepreneur, then I don’t know what does. The fact that I was a stripper does not take away the fact that I’m smart, that I am witty, that I am capable of running my own business. There’s famous guys that were drug dealers back in the day, and no one ever brings up that fact. But as a woman, they bring up the fact that I was a hustler. And it’s extremely unfair, and I just don’t tolerate it.”She’s more than a baby mama
“They belittle me like I’m just some baby mama. I was married—I still am married, actually. And I do have a beautiful son. I’m not a baby mama. I’m so much more than a baby mama. So, how f—ing dare you? You know what I’m saying? And to see the comments from women, saying like, ‘Well, you are a baby mama,’ it’s just like, ‘Girl, you are so lost. You are not just a baby mama. Let’s help each other.’”
I’ve been self employed for over 15 years. I’ve never had a problem saving enough money for my taxes, and I make a small fraction of what Amber Rose claims she makes. (Although she’s exaggerating right? I need to start calling the paps on myself, as if they’d bother to show up.) Also, when I hear about someone making a million dollars as a one-off, I question why they don’t just put it away for retirement. Maybe Amber thought the money would just keep flowing though, since she couldn’t even put aside enough to pay the government.
She’s not wrong about the fact that being a stripper has nothing to do with her worth as a person. This is a great message. However WTF is she saying about coaxing money out of your partner? I make my own damn money, I don’t sleep with people based on their ability to be my ATM. I don’t try to manipulate men into giving me money for things. It sounds like she’s claiming that she’s self sufficient and yet telling women that we should work to get money from men. Those two things are not compatible. If you support yourself you don’t need to do this. Men are not pawns to be played to buy us sh*t.
photo credit: WENN.com
I love her, but no girl just nooo… Such a bad interview
Now I ain’t saying she’s a Gold digger
But she ain’t f-cking with no broke (insert N word)
Kanye West song by the way
“A lot of women don’t know how to seduce a man. It is extremely easy once you get to that point, and you can get anything you want out of them. And I know it might sound messed up, but once you get to that point, it’s not using. It’s not using a man, it’s literally getting what you want by any means necessary.”
Brilliant advice. She is seriously a piece of trash. Pathetic. Slut walk indeed.
That’s called “prostitution.”
LOL!! That’s exactly what I was thinking…
Oddly, I would respect her more if she just came out and said “there is no shame in prostitution. Sex work is work.” This “women should manipulate money out of their significant other” thing is gross. It suggests women should get an allowance or something from the man they are with or something.
On another note, that jumpsuit is heinous.
It appears her breasts are trying to escape the ugly jumpsuit
So is the fake butt.
Yes to all you said
Yeah pretty much. Sigh. So much wrong.
I agree with the idea of picking up the bill for friends who are generally broke or down on their luck. I did it often for a friend who was working her way through nursing school. But if she was broke because she dodged paying taxes? Hell no. I don’t feel any obligation to provide financial support to a friend who tried to game the system but failed. F*ck that.
But did she try to game the system, or did she just have no clue about money because she has never actually had any before? I know a ton of hardworking people in my personal life who’ve gotten into trouble with the IRS.
I once went to a birthday party for a friend, and a girl showed up who was supposedly putting her way through med school. This “student” had bleach blonde hair, big fake knockers and my not so pretty pony fake hair. When the student brought out cash when the bill came, my friend said, “no, put your money away, i know you’re saving for college”. So guess what? Little miss me had to pay student’s share. I’m sorry, but if you’re “saving up”…DON’T GO OUT!! Yes, that’s called-prostution- however I got f*cked without getting f*cked in that case! Also, I’m saving up too- for a mortgage and my kid’s education, plus I take continuing education myself so I remain employable into my 60s. Not cool to use others with “seduction”!! I’m not down with that party girl ethos of “step on someone’s head on your way up”. I was out on the town because -I- can afford my own cake and pizza. The world isn’t obligated to support a hustling pseudo “entrepreneur” in her “broke” days. F*ck that!!
I call BS. Everyone knows you have to pay taxes. People just don’t want to. I have a friend who is self employed and EVERY YEAR he complains about the IRS WHILE CONCEDING that he doesn’t hold back enough to pay. Um what???? That’s not the IRS’s fault.
I have always liked her (she was so beautiful and enigmatic with Kanye!), but I’ve gained a lot of respect for her in the last couple of years.
POOF! It’s all gone. UGH, that was just plain terrible.
Same here. Except I just feel really bad for her. She’s very much a “get them before (or at least when) they get you” person, which is sad because she was made that way by her life experiences and she still hasn’t broken away.
It isn’t all gone for me but this explains why I respect her to a certain degree. She’s not somebody I ever had the utmost respect for, ya dig?
You’re right, Wren. But what is Amber doing to change her situation? Absolutely nothing. She’s actually going out of her way to preach to others that they should behave in this desperate way, too.
I already wrote this on another post and I don’t want to keep saying the same thing, but Amber thinks she’s a feminist but she isn’t. She is a woman who engages in desperate, survival-mode behavior and she is on a campaign to try to get validation because she clearly feels badly about herself. It’s sad and it’s also dangerous. I hope she works it all out and is able to learn from the backlash that she and every other woman deserve better and should aspire to do better.
@Daria Morgendorffer: ” already wrote this on another post and I don’t want to keep saying the same thing, but Amber thinks she’s a feminist but she isn’t. She is a woman who engages in desperate, survival-mode behavior and she is on a campaign to try to get validation because she clearly feels badly about herself.”
I don’t think it’s an either or situation- that she can’t be a feminist because she has engaged in ‘desperate survival-mode behavior. I also think that we can acknowledge how one thing a feminist said was problematic or anti-feminist without rushing to label her as ‘not a feminist.’ If the requirement was never saying anything problematic ever, then probably none of us would be able to call ourselves feminists.
I also don’t see her not being okay with the verbal abuse that she and others in her group face on a regular basis as a sign that she is ‘seeking validation’ and ‘feels bad about HERSELF” (not that Amber Rose, like any human being, woman, female public figure, and person who has been part of any heavily stigmatized group, doesn’t have her moments of sadness, insecurity, frustration, or self-doubt).
But yeah, her advice here does suck and is not feminist.
So many pitchforks here today. That relationship scenario isn’t my jam, but I still appreciate Amber Rose and her insight, not to mention her wit. Furthermore, her tax dilemma is as old as the taxman…think of how many dozens of celebrities, pro-athletes, etc., have been in trouble with the IRS. Nothing new to see here.
I actually came to say the same. I think the one difference in her situation is that she’s vocal about her sh/t. The tax issue with celebs is usually some “my accountant messed up, it wasn’t my fault,” bs. Women seducing men to get sh/t. Nothing new. Girlfriends do it to their bfs. Wives do it to their husbands and vice versa. Whether you realize it n wanna admit it or not. What’s the difference?
Because a self proclaimed “feminist” such as Amber shouldn’t be preaching that mess.
Also, just because “everybody does it”, doesn’t make it right. That’s a child’s argument.
Welp, telling other “feminists” how their feminism should be more feministic is kinda weak, no?
But most celebs intend to pay their taxes, they just don’t. Most of them leave that mess to an accountant or lawyer who screws them over. That’s why most of them get hit with liens as opposed to prison. You only go to prison if there’s actual evidence that you intended to not file. Most of them do try, but they get screwed. Amber is saying, “I just didn’t know I had to pay taxes!” Which is awfully dumb. Who in this day and age doesn’t know that if you earn money, the government will take a slice? She’s not saying, “My manager screwed up and left me holding the bag.” She’s saying, “I did not know I had to pay taxes on this money.” And forgive me if that’s unconvincing.
Actually, no. But I’m a second waver despite my age. I don’t go in for all this third wave-free love-everybody does what they want to do-and its cool crap. Telling other women to be whores so they can get money from men is categorically NOT feminism, sorry. Equality is not implied or present in that scenario and the number one tenet of feminism is equality.
Agree with Sam re: taxes.
Most celebs do intend to pay their taxes but they get screwed over? That’s certainly true in some cases, but how can you call Amber Rose “awfully dumb” for not paying her taxes, yet give the people who can afford lawyers and accountants a pass because they…didn’t know? Furthermore:
“I know a whole lot of people that don’t pay taxes. And it comes back to bite you in the ass. Trust me. So I did pay all my taxes off, and I feel amazing now, but it took a lot of hard work.” Sounds like she learned her lesson here to me.
Re: “telling other women to be whores” way to paraphrase, anon33. As I said upthread, I like Amber Rose. She’s human, she’s a hustler, and she’s real. I’ll take a *perspective* like this, from someone who crawled up out of the gutter of South Philly, over Annie Lennox telling me how my feminism should be served any day. But that’s just me.
@anon33: Viewing women as lower than you based on sex is also pretty anti-feminist. There’s nothing ‘radical’ or ‘feminist’ about the message that a woman’s status is based on what sexual things she will or won’t consent to. I agree that this specific thing Amber is preaching is an unequal arrangement, because she’s specifically telling women that we SHOULD use our seductiveness to get money from men, and she’s not promoting any other option for women in that statement. So I agree with you that what she said is anti-feminist. But if we’re all no longer feminists the one time we say something sexist or problematic, then you’re probably not a feminist either, and neither am I, if that’s the rule. Does one problematic message erase all the good and progressive ones? I doubt you’d call Channing Tatum a wh*re and say that he can’t be a part of the movement.
And while you’re right that just because other people do something doesn’t make it right, it’s also true that just because you feel something that a person is doing with their body is ‘immoral’, ‘unchaste’, or whatever other word you want to throw on it to assert your ‘superiority’ and ‘classiness’, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
“As women, we’re fortunate enough to use our seductive skills in order to be able to get money from our significant others. ”
Excuse me??? As a woman I am fortunate enough to have a JOB that pays my bills.
She’s put the stripping in the past maybe, but still has a stripper mentality.
I’m not sure I know what “stripper mentality” means but I’m going to say that given the way men in her world treat women as disposable sex objects then her advise for women living in the same world is apt. If he is using you, you damn well better use him back. Especially since a womans shelf life in that world is so short, I mean Amber is practically a grandma in the hiphop groupie game and she isnt even 35 yet.
@Naya
That is so gross. How about you don’t PUT yourself in a situation where men treat you like a disposable sex object in the first place? If you have to do so to survive, you should do your best to stay human in the situation and have some self-respect. What she is suggesting, he uses you so use him back, is repulsive, dishonest and manipulative. How does it help you grow or flourish to lower yourself to that level? This woman actually wrote a book telling young women to use sex to get money. How can you support that under any circumstances?
@GNAT – yes! Seems very obvious, but I guess not…
GNAT and Loulou – how wonderful for you that you’ve never had to be in the position that a lot of these women in the flesh trade were and are in. I don’t agree with using people for money, but I do understand what Naya is saying. These women are being used and abused. “For them,” getting money out of it is making lemonade out of lemons.
GNAT
Of course in the ideal, no woman would be navigating that world. Of course! This aint an ideal world though. And women that end up there arent exactly coming from happy childhoods in which they learnt their true value or saw what healthy male/female dynamics look like. Viewed in that context, Amber is actually “progressive”. Many of the women in that world cant see life beyond “belonging” to the guy who calls you his “main bitch”. Small victories here. The type of girls who hang on to Ambers “wisdom” (aspiring video vixens) should at the very least know to get what they can out of those fleeting “relationships”. Not ideal but far better than the current state of affairs, where you have a kid by a millionaire and end up living on welfare as you chase him through the system for child support.
@Naya and Santia
Just ugh to both of you. No, Santia, I’ve never been in that position because I value myself. I would rather starve to death. and yes, I realize that I value myself because I was taught to, and when I was poor, I worked two jobs to support myself because no amount of money would make it worth it to me to do what she did and live in that world. I know that makes me privileged and very, very lucky. So how dare you imply that I am judging her for that? I am judging her for living that life and getting somewhat out of it and not having the sense to tell young women how to value themselves. Instead, she tells them to use sex to get money. That’s really going to help them out. Thank you Amber, for showing us all the true path to self-respect. What she did in the past is done. But this user who DARES to call herself a feminist is not telling young girls to get an education so they can be independent and support themselves, or to have self-respect or demand respect from a man. She’s telling them to use their bodies to get money from men to support themselves. And you’re ok with that? Disgusting.
GNAT
I’m sorry, is there a reason you are addressing such an angry vitriolic reply at me? All I said is that when we don a lens other than our own for a second, we begin to see why other people think/live like they do. Amber and other women in that world do view this as empowered advise. Like I said, that is itself tragic but it still leaves those girls miles ahead of where they would be otherwise.
I dont know what world you came from and I’m not certain of Ambers background either, so let me speak of the bulk of Ambers fanbase. Most of these girls come from very poor neighbourhoods, where male frustrations are poured out on women (by way of physical abuse or sexualisation) as a matter of course. And of course the schools suck. The boys grow up seeing sports, music or drug dealing as the only way out. The girls grow up seeing latching on to a sportsman, a musician or a drug dealer as the only way out. Neither the boys or the girls learn to save for, everything is about the momentary pleasure of finally leaving the hood. This is the context. Would it be great if Amber was erasing the lifetime of conditioning? YES. But that would require that she herself have overcome her own issues, she clearly hasnt. She may never do so, who knows. The next best thing is to get these girls to realise that they may be out of the hood now that “the star” is interested but they’ll be right back there very soon, if they dont squirrell away something for that day. And yes, I look forward to the day when the advise will be to develop your own talent so that you dont have to latch on another persons.
@Naya – +1000. It’s so funny to me that people can be so narrow minded in their privilege that they cannot see anything beyond their own world view. Not saying I agree with Amber (never said that); all I said was I can see how she developed that view of life and why other girls like her (who grew up on the streets or in the ghettos of the world) would see the benefit to what she’s saying. Would I want my daughter to view the world like this? Heck no! But that is why I got an education and work hard, so I can counter what my child sees and hears from the Ambers of the world. I, too, worked two jobs in college. Meanwhile, since I was considered “exotic” and went to school in a small sports-oriented town (which housed a football team), I had sports players in my face constantly. I never once took them up on the offers of money, shopping, trips, etc. Still, jumping up and down and throwing a tantrum about it doesn’t change a thing. Mud slinging and judging (even while you tell yourself your are not) also doesn’t change anything. I’ll get off my soapbox now.
Naya,
If yiu’re not sure od what the “stripper mentality”, then why would you speak on it? I was never sold on her slutwalk, because she made it more about her. And yes I know women who have choices as to want they want to do with their lives, but none of us know that much about Amber’s past. She could be just another girl, getting by on her looks and figured why bother working hard when men aet attention.
And to say that girls thst grew uo in the “hood” or come from broken homes only have Amber as a role model is a culturally tone deaf and a soft bigotry of low expectation. I and many of my friends grew up in thise environment, not everybody who lives in the hood is a hood rat. Some of of us actually went to college and got jobs and don’t involve sports, music, video modelling or sex work. As a women of color, this incesnses me because society views us like this anyway. And by the way, some “broken” women who get into the business of sex can come from rich families too…Montana Fishburne anyone?
Also, women who go down Amber’s road DO have a short shelf life because they live fast and don’t always choose the right suckers to trick off of.
SMH @ everyone trying to make this conversation of her life choices into the debate of the century. Sometimes a cigar is a cigar.
If she’s trying to make a name for herself, what the hell is she known for? Kanye’s mute arm charm, and Wiza Khalifa’s ex-wife. How about doing something that isn’t the same old stuff.
I got the impression that Naya was saying that men who consistently use women don’t deserve our respect. I guess I agree in the sense that if the agreed-upon dynamic is one of reciprocity i.e. Sex traded for money then one can view that as a business transaction. Nobody is “using” anyone in that scenario.
I don’t think that’s a healthy dynamic to carry into a serious relationship, obviously. I think Amber was probably programmed at an early age to view her relationships with men like that, though. Kind of sad really.
Programmed is the operative word here, and I do agree with you. For those on the outside, the choice may seem clear, not so for those who are in it from early on. It’s sad that she thinks she has broken free and yet the internalized beliefs are still there
Yes! Perfectly stated. I got that too. She wants to be independent. She prides herself of being independent but that mindset she was brought up in still persists.
I guess I agree in the sense that if the agreed-upon dynamic is one of reciprocity i.e. Sex traded for money then one can view that as a business transaction. Nobody is “using” anyone in that scenario.
^I’m going to go ahead and say that I have no problem with this type of transaction either. Provided all parties involved are consenting adults. During the Regency era someone like Amber Rose might have been a celebrated demi-rep.
ETA: I used to wonder why anyone woman would advocate for this or choose this life for herself, until I talked to my bff who is a counselor and has had conversations with women who do choose this. Now I’m less judgmental. Just sad that it’s still deemed necessary.
I think there’s a lot of class issues inherent in this discussion? Like, yes, if you have an education/trade and believe in the value of your brain (more than your body) then obvi it’s ideal to make your own money. But for women who grew up without those things or those values (which are not everybody’s values), I can very easily see thinking the way she does.
Kind of sad? How about heartbreakingly? And she’s advising impressionable young women to do the same? Disgusting. I am not on board with the sex for money, no harm no foul. I know it’s the trend now, but I think it’s dangerous and harmful. I don’t believe you can value yourself and sell yourself at the same time. How do you separate being treated like an animal or an object all day from becoming an animal or an object in your own mind? But whatever, people are going to do what they want. But I seriously object to her giving out this “advice.” And then calling herself a feminist.
I got that impression too and it’s extremely sad. She sounds like she still carries the idea deep in her heart that her worth as a person revolves around her physical attributes, as much as she probably wants to leave that behind. To her I’m sure it all seems perfectly logical. Men want XYZ and therefore women should also get something out of the deal.
I guess I’m just left feeling really sorry for her, like she’s never known a partner who truly treats her with love and respect.
I think that’s what she’s saying, Kitten and I also think that’s a sad mentality.
@Kitten- Exactly. While I don’t agree with what Amber said I also understand where she’s coming from. She was so young when she got into that world (14/15) and she did it to help support her family. How do you get a women who was conditioned from such a young age that the only worth she has comes from her body. Her mentality is not uncommon in a lot of women who lived that life. I work with former sex workers here in Houston, and I can tell you that mentality stays with them for most of their life. I think what Amber needs is compassion above all else, not to say that she shouldn’t be called out on the stupid stuff she says.
I came here to say exactly that. Use your brain and hard work to provide for yourself. SMH.
That part kind of got to me because I’m a woman with absolutely NO GAME who can’t even get men to call her much less pay for her things.
Call me old fashioned but shouldn’t getting a job and making your own money be at the top of the “Getting what you want by any means necessary” list ?
That’s not old-fashioned at all, Actually, quite the contrary. I think Amber’s way of thinking is the old-fashioned way. I personally enjoy making my own money, but it’d be nice if a guy treated me once in a while LOL
Not that I’m into that kind of relationship with dudes but I totally understand and see where she is coming from with that mentality , im in agreement with Naya, Santia, I choose me, it’s her prerogative to enter into this sort of quid pro quo relationships, and YESSSS everything you said mp!!! (and Naya) there is definitely a class component to these discussions and to her fanbase, is very reminiscent of the discussions we were having about Beyonce Feminism and Annie Lennox deeming it not correct, she is speaking to a constituency in a different position ( and different worldviews and available prospects) than some of the commentariat here is in
And also: I still like her
My well-off white friend sent her privileged daughter to nursing school so she could be surrounded by doctors aka marriage potential because “she didn’t raise a dummy”. It had nothing to do with her career or furthering herself, it was about snagging a rich man. And she married a PhD and is a stay at home mom now so….somebody dissect that one for me.
Preach QQ!
Wellll Mimif, the hustle it’s respectable when it nets you a dr, duuurrrr
I’ll dissect it for you – it’s no different. Trading your body for money at whatever level kills your soul.
I never got the love for her on here. She’s just a fame-ho, who had a baby and went straight back to putting butt selfies out. So deep. Motherhood is such a priority for all of these fame-hos who base their self-worth on material possessions and bragging about it or focusing on it, like all that bragging she did on all of her cars. She’s harmless, though.
Add me in. I remmember seeing one post where everyone here was gushing about this woman. As the headliner said, she’s basic.
Really? I see a lot of comments on both sides. I don’t get the hoopla over her, either.
Harmless? I don’t think she is harmless. She promotes feminism and slut walks, and doesn’t have a clue about anything! That’s what happens when you have no education.
The same goes for a lot of men, who had luck and made some money and now think that they are something special.
isn’t she the original mrs. west? I see no difference between her and Kim K.
Count me two. She gets a lot of love on this site and others. I don’t understand: if you are proud to be a w*ore, that makes it all okay, acceptable and makes you a feminist suitable to give advice to other women? What the heck?
I can only speak for myself, but what I like about her is that she doesn’t put on airs and doesn’t pretend to be a saint. I can respect that honesty. I also can respect people working with what they’ve got. She has her looks, and she makes it work for her. I don’t agree with that but I speak as a woman who is completely different from her. I only like her because she seems a bit more gracious and humble than Kim K. for example. Do I admire Amber Rose? Not necessarily. I admire that she went from the hood to Hollywood but I don’t exactly admire the choices she made and how she got there.
I don’t understand the hoopla at all. And what DOES SHE DO? Anything?
I agree. She’s trying to be the next Superhead; where has she been lately?
I meant to put this in my last post. Amber also has a son. As he growing up and seeing his mother, is this how’s he going to think all women are? Let her get back to us in 20 years when her son brings home a women who’s using what she got to get what she wants.
Isn’t she the one that has Slut Shaming walks and cries about being slut shamed all the time? I don’t see how this is helping her cause.
Yes, there is a bit of a contradiction going on here. I don’t care that she was a stripper, but anyone who thinks of her friends and partners as an ATM is pretty despicable; think that way about your customers by all means, but not the people you pretend to care for.
There is nothing aspirational about her. I hope young girls don’t buy this book.
As a woman, you need to get an EDUCATION and earn your own money.
Bingo.
was she able to get an education? was that something her family prioritized? Not everyone is given those opportunities or raised with that mindset. Some men/women are taught by their parents to use their bodies to earn (modeling, stripping, hooters, etc.). Different value system than what a lot of people here were raised in, and careers that don’t require an education, but hey, that’s their value system, and it’s hard to change that mentality if that’s not how you were raised. I don’t condone it, or her, but I understand there a lot of people who do earn that way (hefner gfs, for example. NYC Fashion models earn $17-$20K A YEAR!) and they write books and we accept them.
Fashion models in NYC definitely hope to marry someone rich.
the only diff is that holly madison claims she was young and dumb and we forgive her to using Hef for his $. right….
Is there something stopping her from getting an education right now?
I agree, but some people consider street smarts to be more of an asset than book smarts. I believe that as well BUT I also feel that book smarts can help you out big time.
I read with great interest the differing views of Naya and GNAT, etc, including those who said it’s merely a class issue. Unfortunately, i know a woman who’s very unhappily married to a Wall Street banker. When I’ve encouraged her to divorce, she’s afraid because she hasn’t worked and doesn’t want to be destitute, and she doesn’t trust the courts. As long as women rely on men to be their meal tickets, they ARE giving their power over to men’s keeping, and are dependent, not strong. Understanding why Amber Rose feels this way doesn’t mean we’re advocating it; the only way women can be empowered is to get an education or trade and be able to support themselves, not manipulate someone else into giving them what they need. Please drum this into all young girls of every class, friends.
Yes!
Ever since excerpts from her book have surfaced, she’s been a disappointment to me. I don’t really relate to her brand of feminism or her brand as a whole, but I support some of her causes I guess. But this book of hers is a disaster and shows exactly why she shouldn’t write a book or give advice. Ever.
This horrible piece about extorting money from our SOs is just disgusting. I cannot and will not support this mentality that is destroying our youth. Don’t make this problem even worse than it already is, Amber. Women already use their looks (among other things) to get money from men. Don’t try to sell this behaviour as acceptable and “feminist”. It’s not. I’m sorry, it’s gross.
Wow. That comment makes me embarrassed to be included in the same sex. I never really knew much about her, and I defended her when Kayne made his obnoxious remark about all of the showers he had to take after being with her. Now I feel like I need a shower, just from reading this interview. How absolutely disgusting.
Honestly, I think this is who Amber has always been: a hard-scrabble chick who at the end of the day is a survivalist, and by that I mean she does so by all means necessary. Is it ugly? Yeah. Selling your body for sex whether through stripping or prostitution is not a nice or preferable business.
It seems like that attitude is really ingrained in her, that it’s so much a part of her foundation that she applies it to all the relationships in her life. For that, I actually feel bad for her. I do not, however, think it’s appropriate to be putting that sh*t in a book under the guise of “life advice” for young women. Again, I guess it’s anything to make a buck with her. Sad because she’s not an unintelligent woman but seems like she sells herself short.
It would have been great if her book was about deconstructing that idea, learning that women don’t have to use our bodies or manipulation tactics to get what we want but I guess she’s just writing about what she knows. Again, sad really. Won’t be buying her book because I don’t support/endorse that mentality.
She doesn’t want to grow, or doesn’t know how. But somewhere in that pea brain, or so called soul, she MUST know that this is a path to self-destruction for anyone who takes her advice. But she’s selling it for money. Part of me feels sorry for her. All of me feels sorry for the life she must have had as a child that led her to this. But I can’t forgive her for trying to suck other girls into it. That’s just wrong.
I feel bad for her too. What a horrible way to grow up and what a horrible way to live. For all her fame, connections, and money, she doesn’t sound like she’s left any of her old life and troubles behind.
This is Amber Rose’s version of being an empowered woman, and it makes me profoundly sad to think about the way that she’s been used by men in order to construct this view on life. It makes my heart hurt for her, that even at her most empowered she thinks that her sexuality is all she has to offer.
Agreed, Kitten. Well-said!
Can’t add much to that actually. I admire her honesty but I aspire to more in my life and relationships than just hustling. Even her friends have to support her, not just the men. She’s kind of gross.
That’s so gross. Work hard in your education, work hard at your job, and support yourself.
What exactly does she do?
She’s a mogul. Who didn’t know about paying taxes. Lol.
But isn’t the only difference between her and Kim K is that Kim K was raised rich and she wasn’t? I don’t love this girl either but Amber Rose was raised poor which puts an entirely different spin on your POV in life. Ugh, I so don’t love her either, I just think that’s she more Kardash than the Kardashians.
All I thought when I read the title was how she has set women back. I’m glad I learned how to support myself and not depend on anyone else. Also, what is it with all these people that have more money than they know what to do with and they don’t pay their taxes.
Seriously ? !
With this mentality,how can she claim to be feminist ? How can anyone think that she is feminist?
And I am proud to write that I needed of anyone’s help to pay my bills before to be in couple
Regarding her statement about making $1 million and spending it – I taught financial literacy to mostly low-income people. Like you, CB, I can’t imagine making that kind of scratch and not saving most of it. That said, chances are that Amber didn’t grow up in an environment where anyone talked about money management, or if they did, it wasn’t in a way that gave her any kind of a framework for a healthy relationship with money. So when she says, “I made those mistakes” in a way that makes it clear she learned from them, it’s a “You go!” moment. Regarding encouraging women to get as much as they can out of a significant other, she needs to remember that the Karma Police are always on patrol and hope her son’s future girlfriends aren’t taking that advice down the road.
^^^Exactly. My husband grew up in a household where if his dad got some extra cash, he would buy a new hunting rifle – and at the same time he turned the heat off at night during the winter because he didn’t have enough money to heat the house that his children lived in. No one in my husband’s family was saving money or talking about money management to the kids. I’m still sometimes amazed by the questions he asks me or the crazy assumptions he makes about our taxes and retirement funds.
I agree with you on the money front. Especially once you get in the public eye, nobody is behind the scenes looking out for you and your finances. She clearly lived ‘paycheck to paycheck’ as a stripper and self-proclaimed ‘hustler’ so I think you’re right in that she just didn’t know any better or didn’t have a ‘saving’ relationship with money until she realized how hard it can bite back. I think a lot of people have this issue, even non-famous people.
I agree that she probably had no idea how to manage or invest her money, but there is NO way that she wasn’t aware that she’d have to pay taxes on her income. Sorry, but she is not that stupid.
That kind of thing happens all the time with famous people though, let alone someone like Amber Rose who wouldn’t even have had the most rudimentary financial education. As a stripper she would have gotten the bulk of her money in cash tips which is easier to dodge taxes on. Maybe she figured that rich people have special loopholes, maybe she thought someone was already putting it aside, and maybe she just didn’t really think about it at the time and reality didn’t hit until tax time – when you’re used to not having to pay taxes, it can be a shock to the system to actually have to pay the government money.
Thank you for this comment!
“White people get money, don’t spend it / Or maybe they get money, buy a business / I rather buy 80 gold chains and go ig’nant” – Kanye West
Spending frivolously is so ingrained in hip hop culture. Not surprising Amber was an idiot with her money. At least she learned her lesson.
When there’s never any money to save, you don’t learn how to save money. Taxes aren’t so much an issue when you’re scraping by on very little. Heck, in that situation you actually get money back, and are probably counting on that tax break money to make ends meet. And investing? LOL, how about just paying rent and keeping the lights on?
Excellent points, Cannibell.
You gotta expect shit like that from someone who writes a book named “How to be a bad bitch”. I honestly can’t believe a single person here is shocked or surprised. Still, I have to agree about the disrespect for stripping, even if she was still on that job, respect would be required.
So disrespectful! I would never see my significant other as a means to get what I want however I can, especially monetarily.
It so happens that my husband supports our household so I can be home with our son. And I still have never used any “seduction” to get this – we agreed on this lifestyle by discussing our hopes for our family. Her relationships must be sad sad messes if this is how she views money and support.
Why do people like her get any attention? She’s a lowlife and sleazebag, and the only thing she stands for is famewhoring and vulgar self-promotion.
Much like the Kartrashians and yet, the world still follows…..
I don’t think it’s conducive to tell women to ‘use him back’.
Take away his ability to ‘use you just as a sex object’ in the first place by making your own money, paying your own half and buying yourself nice things and just using your man as a date to nice places and even just a handsome guy on your arm and you don’t need to stoop to his level.
Hell, you might even notice there is a person behind the D*ck and the money, just like there is a real person behind that bald head and curvy body (right Amber?)
Playing the game isn’t a good way of fighting agaist the game in the first place. IMO.
I had respect for her slut walk and what she was saying about her personal struggles from the time she was in school with people using and abusing her and a lot of it being out of her control, but if you’re so great and OK and big and better now…why are you giving such trashy advice that would put any other girl who followed it into the same awful positions you say you’ve been in in your past, girl?
get your shit together…
+1000
Oh why not. I like the independence I get from toiling away twice as hard as my male counterparts to earn the same dime, but screw it, if they’re not going to relinquish a slice of the power pie to me, I’ll milk them for all I can with my wily, wily ways.
So you use people because you’re underpaid? Just an excuse. How would you like someone to use you?
If there’s deception involved and one of the people involved is being deceived about the other’s intent or end goal, then I see that as usery.
One word thirsty.She is an example of what not to follow she is definitely a role model of who not to become for all the money in the world.
I used to think she was hot, but now she is just flat-out annoying. You are not a star, just a wanna-be and your 15 minutes is just about up.
Let me play a little devil’s advocate from my corner: I know I seduce my man when I want something, but it’s normally not anything possession wise, it’s more of when I want to go do something you know? I think I have an idea of what she’s trying to say, but really the way that she might be saying it is not good at all.
Look at this from the position of the man. You don’t think he realizes this is what you’ve done? How do you think he feels about it?
Do you think you’d feel good if someone pushed your buttons or played on your weaknesses to get something?
I’m a feminist in favor of legalizing sex work, so I have no shade for women who provide sex for money. Their body, their choice, and they should have the benefits of regulation and protection from violence and education. But what the fuck? “Get your friends/man to pay for it” is not an ethical or sustainable plan.
I feel her on the taxes though. I’m terrible at that.
“I’m a feminist in favor of legalizing sex work, so I have no shade for women who provide sex for money. Their body, their choice, and they should have the benefits of regulation and protection from violence and education.”
But according to some feminists here, you’re not a ‘real feminist’ because of that stance. Apparently we’re supposed to view sex workers as beneath us and feminism is all about us proving that we’re ‘Better than all the Loose Women.’
I have problems with Amber Rose’s advice- she didn’t leave it to her own personal choice. It comes off like she’s telling women what we SHOULD be doing- She’s saying we’re SUPPOSED to use our seductiveness to get money from our significant others. And she’s not presenting any other options to her female audience, like education or making and managing your own money. So I totally agree that her advice is sexist, not really progressive, and bad advice. But I also have a huge problem with the internalized misogyny coming from the “She can’t be a feminist because WH#RE!!! We’ll get equality when we all start being ladies instead of tramps! Have some self-respect by exchanging sex and seductiveness for everything BUT money! You can’t call yourself a feminist and not be against consenting adults profiting off of sexuality/sex appeal” crowd here.
You must be first or 2nd wave, because only 3rd wave feminist support this way of thinking.
Well, actually, if that’s what Amber thinks, then I leave her to have her own perspective. I’ve never been in her situation, and I don’t know the mentality or what she’s been through to think like she does. So, I reserve judgement on that.
What I can judge her on, however, is that awful jumpsuit. Muva Rosebud, what are you doing? You can’t seduce anyone wearing that!
Amen to the judging of that atrocious jumpsuit. Amber Rose, you need to sit yourself down because somebody lied to you.
‘If they’re your friends, they’ll respect [that you’re trying to save money]. Tell them that you’re trying to save up for whatever it may be, and if they want you to come out with them then it has to be their treat’ – I am always happy to help people and often cover somebody else’s bill but cannot stand when people try to save money at my expense. I have had ‘friends’ like this and think its way out of order.
“It’s not using a man, it’s literally getting what you want by any means necessary” – yes, this is using men.
It would be great if one of the so called celebrities said to other women – “Educate yourself, learn useful skills and build yourself a good career, so you don’t have to ‘seduce’ men to get money! You will have your own to spend”.
This woman is full of BS.
I don’t care what none of ya’ll say…I still love her. – K.W.
My grandma used to have a saying in Spanish that basically said you’re going to do it anyway, you might as well get paid for it. (Her version was much more vulgar. Also grandma was a barmaid for most of her adult life when my grandfather died and left her with 7 kids to support and no $.) I get what Amber is saying. She could have worded it much better. I won’t criticize any woman’s hustle. To all my ladies – get yours in whatever way you can – with your head held high, no apologies and zero ‘F’s to give.
Yes, great example and inspiration. If you are going to have sex, might as well make it for cash, and when this one tires of you, find another sucker. At least while your looks last and men with money find you attractive and are willing to pay the bills. Seriously??? Not only be a prostitute but be a proud prostitute, is that “feminism” now? Oy vey.
Feminism isn’t only for people who have sex you approve of.
It’s still a job, and it’s still hard, so I do respect women who feel obliged to have sex for money,
At one point after Kanye, I thought she may have had a good shot at a career in Film/TV/fashion. Her style was unique and her attitude fierce, but she has not aligned herself well, and her current path will lead her to obscurity. It’s like a big, missed opportunity with that girl.
“It’s like a big, missed opportunity with that girl.”
Unfortunately, it is looking that way. It’s a shame because I really do believe Amber is smart. I think she has a really poor self image, and contrary to what she says about not caring what people think, I think her real mission whether she realizes it or not, is to try to get validation from people.
I’ve seen the comments that people leave on her Instagram and it seems like most people have zero respect for her. It actually makes me a little bit sad for her because she is adoring the attention, even if she knows it’s not positive attention. Both men and women say things about her having no respect for herself, they call her a slut, they say “she’s for everybody.” She had that slut shaming walk and I think the comments she sees people leaving on her Instagram were a huge part of the inspiration for that. When she broke down in tears, I think it became pretty clear that this is not a woman who really feels like “I can engage in whatever behavior I want and I don’t care what anyone says.” Her emotional demeanor spoke volumes that it seriously hurts her feelings to have people call her names and think so little of her.
I don’t think Amber really means what she says when she says she owns up to her behavior. I think she is looking for validation and probably has poor self-esteem.
Yes! I see a lot of potential in her beyond the typical eye-candy, trophy girlfriend, but she seems intent on staying on this path. Perhaps she thinks if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
And still people say Channing Tatum, fellow teen stripper, is regarded highly by the public only because he is a man.
Channing Tatum is regarded highly? That’s news to me.
Comparing to Amber Rose
He’s making a living as an actor. He’s not writing a book giving women questionable advice.
Grace, you’re right. Not a single Feminist here would say that Channing Tatum can’t capitalize on sexuality and support equal rights at the same time, simply because he’s a man. If he were a woman, I guarantee you there would be people here saying Miss Channing is not a real feminist because she’s in support of the idea that it’s fine for consenting adults to capitalize on their sex appeal.
Nah, that’s not it. Even if both are using each other, its still not right
Amber says she’s an author and a mogul but she still has the mind of a stripper. She needs to reassess her way of thinking.
She is revolting. She has no respect for herself and consequently anybody else.
My thoughts exactly. Thanks for making it sound like you are feminist when you are setting us back for decades
“And I know it might sound messed up, but once you get to that point, it’s not using. It’s not using a man, it’s literally getting what you want by any means necessary.”
Yes, it is messed up and it is definitely using and what’s more…manipulating. Getting what you want by any means is nothing to be proud of. It only proves you to be ruthless and without morals. I don’t beleive she knows what self respect is. She thinks she does because she’s living large, but how she got there cancels it out. She talk herself up all she wants, but she is still a prostitute and to call what she does anything else is simply splitting hairs and using euphamisms to not hurt feelings or deny the gravity of what she’s encouraging. Call what it is and if you’re proud to be a prostitute – have at it, but don’t downplay it or call it by any other name.
As my grandmother used to say, “I’d rather pick shit with the chickens if it means maintaining my pride and honesty.”
Your grandmother sounds all kinds of awesome. I’m going to adopt the chicken shit quote.
It’s interesting that you’ve said before that you support a woman’s right to be in a submissive relationship to her husband/man and disapproved of commenters criticizing women for making THAT choice, but are opposed to (and attacking) women for choosing to profit off of their looks and sex appeal or exchanging sex for financial support. I guess it’s because a woman being in a traditionally submissive relationship in exchange for her husband’s financial support, for children, or for his fidelity is sooo different and so much more ‘moral’.
Do you feel that it’s wrong, using, and dishonest for someone to have sex in exchange for having their pleasure and curiosity satisfied? To have sex in exchange for their desire to have a baby being met? To have sex in exchange for monogamy? To have sex to keep the relationship going or to satisfy the other person’s sexual need? Sex in exchange for meeting some ‘rite of passage’ into adulthood? All of those things involve exchanging sex for something you want, and most people who have sex do it in exchange for at least one of those things at some point.
Also, no offense, but someone who has implied numerous times that self-respect means not having casual sex, not having sex with multiple people, and not dressing immodestly, does not know what self-respect is either. Sexual modesty and self-respect are not the same thing.
PREACH!
Hell yeah good one. Say it JenniferJustice for all of us
I thought the whole idea of feminism was to take us out of this cycle of sleeping with men for financial gain – I was poor but I was brought up with a sense of self worth and respect for myself and others.. “You’re better than nobody but nobody is better than you” so I do feel sorry that she wasn’t brought up with the same values – however; there is no reason why she is continuing with this behaviour herself now and absolutely no excuse for encouraging it in others. Strange concept IMO to be perpetuating into the 21st century. Don’t we have enough WAGS and wannabes who will do anything (or anybody) for money/fame….? It makes me worry about society, it really does, when you think these are the kind of women who become role models for young girls.
Third wave feminism supported porn and sex work(ers).
Thank God she doesn’t have a daughter.
Lol that’s what I was thinking. I am sick of people still saying crap like this. Guess what only a stripper ( ex or not) will defend being a stripper ( excuse me… dancer). How come not promoting education to get to where you want. No wonder there is so much sexism still. Women like her promoting that using your body to get money is ok. F that. As long as that mentality keeps on we will never be treated equally and accomplish the amazing things we can using our brain.
“Guess what only a stripper ( ex or not) will defend being a stripper ( excuse me… dancer).”
That’s bullshit. That’s just as stupid as saying only gay people want non-heterosexual people to be treated equally, only women want gender equality, only transgender and agender/genderqueer people want people who aren’t cisgendered to be treated equally, only fat people are against body-shaming, only people of color want racial equality. There are many feminists (myself included) who aren’t and who have never been any type of sex worker but who aren’t opposed to anyone choosing to capitalize on sexuality and physical appearance and believe that all people should be treated equally, regardless of what consensual thing they have or haven’t done sexually. We want ALL of those things. The fact that conservative-minded people like you instantly revert to the “You’re only for X because you are X” argument when faced with a group of people you view as beneath you is part of the reason why more privileged people/outsiders have to step in to begin with. You don’t have to be a part of a group to view them as equals. That’s the beauty of empathy. If you’re only for ‘ladylike’ women, that’s not wanting gender equality, that’s elevating female sexual purity. Good luck with that.
Also, blaming oppression on women being ‘too slutty’ is a form of victim-blaming. Women making sure they stay on the ‘right’ side of the virgin-whore dichotomy has not- and will not- bring about equality or even challenge the notion that a female worth is based on sexual modesty.
“I make my own damn money, I don’t sleep with people based on their ability to be my ATM. I don’t try to manipulate men into giving me money for things.”
This, always!
Financial independence has always been my goal in life. My mom and aunts are from a different generation and as a result, my dad and uncles have always been the breadwinners. It played a huge role in why my cousins and my sister and myself went to college. None of us wanted to have to be financially dependent. My uncle died unexpectedly this year and the way that my aunt’s life has been uprooted because she can’t afford to live the way she had been without his income is terrifying to me. I’ve never wanted that for myself. I think in this new era, all women should be telling other women that financial independence should be their goal. What Amber is preaching is the total opposite of what women need to hear.
Amber has doubled down on Twitter and said anyone criticizing her for saying this is “corny” and has no room to talk because they’ve probably all had friends or significant others “help them out financially.” I think she needs to realize she put her foot in her mouth here. If anything, I hope she learns from it that it isn’t a good way to live or something anyone should be telling anyone else to do.
“If they’re your friends, they’ll respect [that you’re trying to save money]. Tell them that you’re trying to save up for whatever it may be, and if they want you to come out with them then it has to be their treat. ”
I can see where she’s coming from in the sense that if you’re broke and your friends want to see you (and they know you’re broke) then it should be their treat, HOWEVER 1) what if they’re also broke and trying to save money too? and 2) they are not under any obligation to see me nor am I under any obligation to see them. I know that she’s speaking from her status in life but not everyone has friends that can treat them or spot them every time they go out. Lots of us are broke. We’re all living below the poverty line together. Also, not every hangout has to involve spending money.
I admire that she continues to say that her stripper past doesn’t define her as a person and that we shouldn’t judge women based on things like that, but I obviously don’t agree with everything she says. I for one don’t believe that I should seduce a man into giving me money. Would I like to have that kind of power? Yes, but would I use it? I don’t think so. Maybe that’s what she wants to teach people: to be able to do that. The choice is ours. I can’t speak for her or her intentions, though. I’d like to assume that with her forthrightness she would agree that it’s about choice and ability versus actually doing that.
Oh, SHUT UP!
And today’s “feminists” support this crap!
No Amber I will not respect you for saying you are stripper because you want save money. You can work two jobs as a janitor and Mcdonalds and then I will. Also yes I am all about doing whatever you want with your body as a female but don’t ask me to respect you for choosing to be a stripper. Also yeah lets not promote education and culturing our minds to get what we want. Lets stick yo the good ol’ use your body to get what you want. That’s great advice ugh
You don’t have to emulate or agree with her choice or like her advice but if you give or revoke respect for human beings based on sex and who’s “Not That Kind of Girl”, then that makes you no better than the people you rail against.
She was Wiz’s wife. To call her a plus 1 makes you part of the problem. Shame on you. Maybe you missed her speech at the Slut Walk, which quite honestly brought me to tears. She spoke some serious truth about the female experience. I judged her, too in the past but now I understand where she is coming from, and she deserves more respect than being called a Plus 1.
ur a fool and she’s a scam artist. sucker
Yes. What is so hard about the word WIFE??
amber rose sucks. when will ppl realize that she is a worthless bimbo who is only famous because she dated kanye and starts phony feuds with the kardashians to make herself more popular. there is nothing good about her except her body
People who want to believe that what she is doing is so hot and independent. Nothing independent about trying make it by using sex to get money. Just work for god’s sake use your brain
She should do and live whatever way she wants and if she wants to advice to others women – it should be up to them whether to take up on it or ignore it.
One of the best things about being a contemporary Western woman is to live any way you decide is best for you.
I just want to know how the same posters who feel sorry and praise Amber for doing what she wants, but slams Miranda Kerr for the same thing?
Yeah right, as if we are seeking advise from a Single mom who has no man in sight, no Talent and no brain…
Her body is banging in that gold outfit, and I LOVE the glasses.
I love what she said about stripper vs drug dealer. Stripping is actually way more respectable because you’re not, you know, killing or hurting anyone.
And I hate that she is constantly called a ‘baby mama.’ Not sure why the media ignores her marriage. No one calls Jessica Biel a baby mama.
Because Jessica is still married to her baby daddy. But I agree that she shouldn’t be reffered that way.
Never understood the respect or admiration for this woman, and never had any for her myself. This interview plunges my opinion of her even lower. In her fear/dread of being used by men, she has become an ultimate user herself–which does *not* equal no longer being used herself, for just b/c she is “aware” of the game does not mean she is not ruled by it: she is. She takes selfishness, self absorption, lack of respect for herself and for others and employs it to better her financial situation. Yet as for what she does for betterment/change of herself as a person, and as an independent, thinking, self-aware individual, she seems to be in a blind and ignorant rut. Hardly someone fit to write “advice” for other young women and girls.
Watch her speech at the slut walk and then comment. She is human. And I relate to her experiences. I could not look more differently from her on the surface. I have an advanced education and make my own $$, and I think she is strong and is doing the best she can. Watch it, hear her speak and then comment.
I’m not a fool or a sucker. I have empathy.
LOL. She is so gross. In 5-10 years she’ll be broke and all used up. Congrats.