'09
We all know what exacting standards Madonna has for everyone in her life. Not only must you be above perfection to be in her employ, but the same holds for anyone she dates. You must be a prime physical specimen, of a highly desirable age (preferably half her own), and capable of extended bouts of Madge worship. Oh, and you must speak the Queen’s English. Or at least you must speak better than Jesus Luz apparently does.
Madonna has shelled out a whopping $1,000 a week to improve Luz’s English. No ESL schools that advertise on the subway for her.
What’s Portuguese for “sugar mama”? Frustrated by her Brazilian boyfriend’s iffy English, Madonna has hired an English tutor for Jesus Luz!
“She’s paying more than $1,000 per week for him to learn English,” a source says. But it’s a small price to pay for bridging the language – generation! – gap.
[From Star; May 18, 2009, print ed.]
Out of sheer curiosity, I wonder if it had ever occurred to Madonna to consider learning Portuguese? Perhaps a nice compromise, and she and Jesus could meet in the middle? Of course Madge is not known for her ability to compromise. And something tells me that between her vigorous workout routines and eating 750 calories a day, she’s a pretty busy woman. I doubt she could fit in the tutoring to learn. Which really leaves the ball in Jesus’ court.
I knew there were perks to dating Madonna, but I thought they mostly had to do with lavish clothes and nice hotels. Who knew language improvement and accent reduction were part of the package?
Here are Jesus and Madonna at the Costume Institute Gala on Monday in New York. Images thanks to WENN.com .
Written by JayBird
- TV Shows that outstayed their welcome [Pajiba]
- Goopy and Cameron Diaz went to a Coldplay concert [Lainey Gossip]
- The bacon milkshake! [D-Listed]
- Ashanti looks... good? [Go Fug Yourself]
- 20 great songs under 2 minutes [Fark]
- Snooki and J-Woww on notice [IDLYITW]
- Jennifer Aniston through the years [Popsugar]
- Kirsten Dunst looks so pretty here [Evil Beet]
- Mila Kunis without makeup [Celebslam]
- The awful cover letter all of Wall St. is mocking [Gawker]
20 Responses to “Madonna hires $1k a week English tutor for Jesus”
Leave a Reply
By commenting you agree to our comment policy
Use the "Report this comment as spam or abuse" link to ask the moderators to delete a comment if it's offensive. If your comment disappears, it may have been eaten by the spam filter. Please e-mail cbcomments at gmail.com to get it retrieved.
Get an icon next to your name by signing up for a free Gravatar
If I were Madonna, I wouldn’t want him to understand what I was saying.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
haha, that’s why he is with her so far, he doesn’t understand her. Wait until he learns more english….hellloooo younger brazilian girls his age.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
He looks a lot like a young Carlos Leon.
I actually see a long career for this guy, once he gets his English up to speed. After his relationship with Madonna ends, he can ride the notoriety into, say, a reality show, and then on to hosting-type duties, Daisy Fuentes style. Maybe, like Daisy, a clothing line. If he’s got the smarts, it’s all there for the taking.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I don’t know for how many hours that is, but private lessons aren’t cheap so it really doesn’t seem such a shocking amount of money to me.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I still can’t get over that rediculous outfit , just because it’s Louis V. or whatever expensive coutoure label it is doesn’t make it stylish .
Even for a “costume” .
In that header pic Jesus reminds me of an older Spanish Zac Efron , but more brooding .
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Nice pit stains, Madonna! She looks AWFUL.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
What the fuck is that thing on her head?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My question is this: why would a boy-toy even need to talk?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I did private language lessons and they cost me about 20 bucks an hour. A thousand dollars a week divided by 20 is 50 hours of language lessons – and one-on-one language lessons are exhausting and intense. Even if Madonna is paying double what I paid, that’s still about 25 hours a week, or 5 hours a weekday. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
So has she adopted him yet?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
ahhhh, they make a cute couple.
Bow to the Queen.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
jesus is gay Madonna is going to be like Mae West an ageing woman who surrounds herself with boytoys much to the amusement of others.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Poor Baby Jesus. I’m picturing him chewing his pencil, surrounded by picture cards with words like ‘cow’ and ‘yacht’ and ‘umbrella’ on them. And a perplexed frown on his little face.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
There’s a report out that Madonna laughed at Guy Ritchie’s joke about Jesus’s inability to speak much English: “So that explains why they’re getting along.” LOL
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m a Madonna fan from way back in her 1982 club days and while people change (as they are supposed to)–this hags transmorgraphication into a caricature of a human being has given even this queen pause.
Someone on here compared her to Mae West and I really shudder at the thought, but that is what this pathetic, selfish slag has turned into
Report this comment as spam or abuse
i don’t get it.
why bother. isn’t he gay anyway?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
What. The. F@$%. is that thing on her head? ETA: Cate! Read my mind.
And I would prefer the accent too. Who wouldn’t?!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jesus looks just like Robby Rosa, an ex Menudo singer from Puerto Rico. Madonna really likes latin lovers.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
300 bucks for Jesus’ spray tan, 3000 for her face lift, and she couldn’t spend 3 bucks for some anti-perspirant? Dumb hag.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
haha She’s OK!
Report this comment as spam or abuse