Jude Law: ‘I think without children & family in your life, you’re not living’


Jude Law has a feature in the new issue of Modern Luxury to promote his new HBO miniseries, The Young Pope. I thought Jude was playing the so-called young pope as an Italian or some kind of European, but apparently his pope is an American. I’m not worried about that – Jude can do a decent American accent, and The Young Pope actually looks really good. I suspect Jude will be up for many TV awards for the miniseries in the coming year. Anyway, you can read the full Modern Luxury piece here. Some highlights:

He’s figured out the meaning of life: “It’s about having a family around you and being yourself in that family and learning who you are through it. I mean, what else is there, to be honest? I think without children and family in your life, you’re not living. It’s a wonderful, vital element.”

His research for The Young Pope: “I have great interest in faith and how faith evolves through different influences, but I had very little solid understanding of the Catholic faith. So I read the history of the Vatican. I read the history of the popes and the papal order. I read around the history of the church. It was a never-ending library. … I didn’t really feel like it was getting me particularly any closer to this character.”

Being so good-looking when he was young: “I think for me, personally, for a few years I felt I was doing some really good work as a young actor, and it seemed people just wanted to talk about what I look like, as opposed to the work I was doing.”

He’s happy that people recognize his work now that he’s in his 40s: “I guess, you get into [your] mid-40s, as a man anyway, they don’t want to seem to emphasize that quite as much. Or maybe the emphasis isn’t there anymore because there are other young, good-looking types coming along, and they’re probably more interesting to write about. I love how age has such an influence on the job I do. The career you’re having as a 40-year-old actor is completely different than you have as a 20-year-old actor. … I could never have played Lenny when I was 25 because there’s a certain amount of experience he has that a 45-year-old has that a 25-year-old doesn’t have.”

Playing the press game: “There are ways in which I can have people think that I’m public property without being. You learn to play the game to a degree, where you go, ‘Okay. I give them that, but they’ll never have this.’”

He’s currently dating 30-year-old psychologist Phillipa Coan: “She’s mine and no one else’s. I’m very, very happy. A large part of that is the fact that she’s a very private person. And our relationship is a very private thing, and I think part of the fact it works so well is exactly because of that.”

Fatherhood: “I love being a dad. It’s emotional and exhausting. But it’s also wonderful…. Teenagers are going through such a hellish time, and the people they love the most, they’re going to get it in the neck. It’s like a rite of passage. When they come out of it—hopefully unscathed, a little wiser—and they return to the fold and sort of realize you’re not the ogre they thought you were, it’s a beautiful thing.”

[From Modern Luxury]

I do think Jude’s teenage kids – the ones he had with Sadie Frost – are probably going to end up going into acting and modeling and singing, much like the Beckham kids. They’ll be the nepotism models/actors for Britain, just like the Hadids, Jenners, Baldwins, etc of America. As for Jude’s relationship with Phillipa Coan… he has been very low-key with her. They’ve been dating for a year and there are only a handful of photos of the two of them. My guess is that they’ll be going strong… until they aren’t. Until she gets pregnant with Jude’s sixth child, probably.

Here are some pics of Phillipa and Jude at the ATP Finals in London in November. She reminds me of Mamie Gummer.



Photos courtesy of WENN.

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134 Responses to “Jude Law: ‘I think without children & family in your life, you’re not living’”

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  1. Bichon60 says:

    He’s wrong. Children don’t automatically confer “living” and celebrities usually shouldn’t wax philosophical.

  2. Karla says:

    I know what he means about family but a lot of people have AWFUL families who make life a misery. If you have a great family, then nothing can beat it. But a terrible family? It’s the same as awful friends or an abusive relationships….

    • Kate says:

      To be fair, he didn’t say parents or siblings. My bio family is a nightmare and I cut them out long ago, but the family I’ve made with my partner is wonderful.

    • jwoolman says:

      I got through adolescence by promising myself that asap I would move far, far away with my cat and never have to live with family again. And mine wasn’t anywhere near as awful as so many others, they were not evil but just emotionally draining to be around even briefly. My opinion has remained unchanged over the past few decades. Even phone calls with them are wearing. Dysfunctional families do not promote living….

      • detritus says:

        Samesies. My family is very loving and caring and sweet, and controlling and incapable of dealing with differing opinions.
        I made the same promise to myself you did, and we cut the 5th year off on highschool when I started, so I was pumped.
        Would never, ever, ever go back. I convince myself it wasn’t bad every once in awhile, because they are wonderful on the face, but it always bites me in the ass.
        I love them greatly, but mostly from afar.

      • Kitten says:

        Speaking of which, pets can be family. I know I think of my cats as such.

      • lisa says:

        @jwoolman – that is a really good way of articulating it, my family is emotionally draining and i have no interest in being with them

        signed, escaped with cat

      • Nancy says:

        @jwoolman: The picture of a little girl planning her escape with her cat made me sad. I’m happy that you got away from the dysfunction and made a life for yourself away from the angst. Their loss. We are born into our families, but choose our friends, and sometimes those friends become our family. That blood is thicker than water theory was penned by an employee of Hallmark.

      • Miss Jupitero says:

        Similar experiences here. For me, a version of hell would have to be a long unending family gathering from which I could never escape. I have always wanted something different.

        The Soul selects her own Society —
        Then — shuts the Door —
        To her divine Majority —
        Present no more —

      • bogos says:

        So agree with you. Especially when parents are so needy, dissatisfied, insecure. They can drain much of the life out of their kids in trying to validate their own lives and choices. Paralysis, feelings of being used, emotional blackmail are ever present. Better to escape and start your own household. Law sounds like a user to me. Most really creative people don’t think like him either.

      • Amity says:

        I once heard that when people live alone with animals the animals begin to take on human traits and the people begin to take on animal traits. It creeped me out a little.

  3. Sixer says:

    I can’t help but like Jude, even with his various Lothario issues. He’s taken his acting seriously and you can see that it has improved substantially over the years. Also, I watched The Young Pope. It’s beautifully made and acted but I didn’t understand it at all. A bit like Jude and his research really. What story was being told entirely escaped me.

    • Emma says:

      I agree about The Young Pope. The whole time I was watching it I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on and what Jude Law’s character’s motivation was. The show is almost Twin Peaks-like in its oddness. But it has stuck with me and I have been thinking about it and some of the visuals ever since I finished watching it.

    • lightpurple says:

      I like him, even though his life has been quite messy. I’ve always found him a fascinating actor and am looking forward to The Young Pope.

      As for Philippa “she’s mine and no one else’s.” Sure, Jude, but are YOU anyone else’s? That has always been your problem.

      • Sixer says:

        He has plenty of twattish tendencies, doesn’t he? I think I’m inclined to let him off because he doesn’t really try to make us believe that the plonker aspects of himself aren’t there. Or, I don’t know why I let him off. Unlike me!

      • Jayna says:

        I took it to mean that as an actor it’s like he is public property and the world knows so much of his life. She isn’t in the business and doesn’t seek the limelight while with him. The relationship with her is his and no one else’s, meaning the public.

      • Liberty says:

        Maybe he is starting to be aware of stuff, and more aware of his past dickish ways….a newfound “ah, THIS is important” — “urgh what have I done?” sort of awareness. Who knows. The mortality swing? Or he and Hugh are starting a club.

        Albeit he clearly also needs to think even more about the pronouncements he is making now.

    • grabbyhands says:

      I am intrigued by it, but I am about to ditch my HBO subscription and I can’t decide if I want to keep it long enough to watch it.

      On a lighter note, a bunch of people have tweeted about the show even though it hasn’t aired yet and the result is hilarious. Buzzfeed compiled a list.


    • Timbuktu says:

      I’m with you, Sixer! He’s for sure crap to date and love (long-term, anyway), but luckily, since I will never have to endure that side of him, I can enjoy him as an actor. I find him to be a very good (like most British actors, come to think of it, is he also classically trained?) and I think he’s still plenty good-looking, in fact, more so than the current crop of Chris-es, who all look like generic interchangeable jocks to me. I can’t think of another actor who I’d characterize as “looking like Jude Law”, which has gotta be a cool thing when looks are such an integral part of your job, I think.
      Ditto on The Young Pope, as well. Interesting but confusing, like an exercise, rather than a story.

      • Lindy says:

        Could not agree more with the “current crop of Chrises who all look like generic interchangeable jocks to me.”

        And I do think Jude Law the actor is pretty fantastic, though he seems lacking in self-awareness about a lot of things as a person.

        Now I am intrigued about the Young Pope…. the descriptions y’all are giving are unlike descriptions I have heard about most other shows or series so I kind of want to check it out!

      • Sixer says:

        I honestly think he has worked hard at being an actor and made the most of what talent he has. I do think there are plenty more talented out there but I kinda admire him for plugging away at the craft and wrangling a more-than-decent set of performances out of himself.

        And, while he doesn’t outright say “Ok, hands up. I’m an idiot who can’t keep my flies zipped,” he doesn’t rush about trying to convince us that he isn’t that and take us for fools. So many of them do that and it gets on my nerves.

    • minx says:

      I like him, too, and he’s more interesting the older he gets. Yes, he’s made some, um, poor decisions in his personal life.

  4. Jenns says:

    Which family is he talking about? Because he has several across the globe.

  5. jinni says:

    His two oldest are already models. The daughter I get being a model, but the oldest boy, Rafferty is like Brooklyn Beckham. He’s just a plain looking kid, who can’t pose, doesn’t exude anything interesting in his photos and is only getting jobs because of his family. But hey, I am not going to knock them for using their family connections to make moves for themselves. If I had big time connections through family members I would’ve used them too.

    • Digital Unicorn (aka Betti) says:

      I have to disagree, Rafferty has that male model look that comes across well in his shoots. Brooklyn is the plain one who can’t pose for sh!t and shouldn’t be a model. Rafferty looks like his father and he will grow into a fine looking man – i think he would have prob been approached to model anyway.

      • jinni says:

        Maybe he has potential and when the baby fat comes off his face I’ll see what you see. But in the things I have seen him in he just screams poser chav too me tbh.

      • Kitten says:

        I don’t know….I tend to agree with Jinni. He’s cute for sure and he does look a lot like his father but the thing that always made Jude so striking were his eyes. Rafferty doesn’t have Jude’s eyes. I think he’s an attractive young man, but not unique at all.

      • minx says:

        Yes, I think Rafferty is striking…but not quite in his father’s league. Jude just has that it factor. And yes, Brooklyn Beckham is very ordinary. I’m not in the habit of criticizing boys that age for their looks, but if he’s trying to be a model he’d better get used to it, because he’s just meh.

  6. nemera77 says:

    I’m reading the comment and thinking..


  7. robyn says:

    This is a cruel and ridiculous statement to the many people in this world who have neither family they can rely on or children. Sometimes “families” have to be random kind strangers or friends. I think he was speaking for himself but it comes across as a bit arrogant imo.

  8. Esmom says:

    Lol at “being so good looking when he was young.” Ouch.

  9. Lucy2 says:

    Family doesn’t have to be children or biological relatives, it can just be the people you choose to have in your life. I hope that is what he means, otherwise it’s rather insensitive.
    Also, 5 kids with 3 exes, I honestly can’t imagine how much family time he has with each.

  10. Ann says:

    Wonder how much time he actually spends with his many children by many women? I doubt he was actually being a real father to any of them.

    • jwoolman says:

      That was my first thought also. It’s easier to have an idealistic view of kids if you aren’t around them parenting 24/7. Makes for a very different relationship. Not necessarily a bad one, but still more in the uncle who visits occasionally category. If he had joint custody and the kids spent half their time with him, then the relationship would also be different. Juggling schedules with so many kids by different mothers must have been interesting, regardless.

  11. grabbyhands says:

    I think without children and family in your life, you’re not living. It’s a wonderful, vital element.

    I don’t think he meant this as cruelly dismissive as it sounds but I wish he had chosen his words more carefully.

    There are a hundred different reasons why people don;t have family or children around them and their lives are as wonderful and vital as those who do. And frankly, family is as much what you create as what you are born into.

  12. paolanqar says:

    Oh another celebrity is trying to enlighten us about life. Entitled to say the least. Especially if it comes from someone who just impregnates any woman he meets and has offsprings all over the place. I doubt he spends enough time with each of them.
    What he said is very disrespectful for those people who cannot have children and to those who choose to not have children. Life is life, with or without children.
    I am so sick of hearing this. My life is worth just as much, thank you very much.

  13. Ramona says:

    Lmao at the obvious father of the year gambit. As if people who are genuinely close to their families announce it to a magazine. PR, please.

  14. suze says:

    He’s a good actor, but really, he should keep his deep thoughts to himself.

  15. sirokese says:

    I know quite a few non living people who mysteriously enjoy a vital life.

  16. Kitten says:

    “I guess, you get into [your] mid-40s, as a man anyway, they don’t want to seem to emphasize that quite as much. Or maybe the emphasis isn’t there anymore because there are other young, good-looking types coming along, and they’re probably more interesting to write about. I love how age has such an influence on the job I do. The career you’re having as a 40-year-old actor is completely different than you have as a 20-year-old actor. … I could never have played Lenny when I was 25 because there’s a certain amount of experience he has that a 45-year-old has that a 25-year-old doesn’t have.”

    Must be nice to be a guy huh? As men in Hwood get older, they get more interesting roles and more respect and they’re still seen as handsome as they age. Sadly, none of these things hold true for most women actors.

    I normally like him, but this interview annoyed me for a myriad of reasons.

  17. Barrett says:

    I’m in mid 40s w endometriosis and had several miscarriages. I love my parents and niece and nephew but Jude’s words are painful even if unintentional. Not all of us win the biological lottery.

    Trust me the pain is so great some days that you feel like you are not living or are just making it it through. But you push on.

    And I would adopt, my hubby who I love says it’s honestly not for him. Relationships are more complex than yelling at me to adopt.

  18. ash says:

    From the previews ….i got the sense of a House of Cards of sorts with the young pope….

    I’m a sucker for meglomaniac/power driven, mecurial pro (an)tagonist, with major flaws and unwavering ego:
    - How to Get away with murder
    - House of cards
    - Damages
    - Sopranos
    - Boardwalk empire
    -Scandal (only olivia’s dad and cyrus)

    • Nitsirk says:

      Since I already saw it (its really weird actually…what did we do to deserve this honor?? XD), I can tell you that you’ll like it if you like House of Cards. Even though its a bit slow sometimes…
      The visuals are really fantastic, even though you can tell that they did not do enough research about the Vatican gardens!

  19. Lucy says:

    It’s nice that he’s doing well, but he should speak for himself on the family/kids topic. Those things are not for everyone.

  20. Timbuktu says:

    I gotta say, though: these are the most FANTASTIC celebrity pap shots I have ever seen! They look so lovely together, engaged, engrossed even. I obviously don’t know if it’s going to last, and going by his track record, it probably won’t, but there is no doubt that they are in love now. I mean, with all their hard core posing, Tiddles never looked quite like this to me, and so many other celebrity couples (even quite legit ones) look downright anemic compared to this. Which is fine, too, mind you, not everyone can look loved up in public! But these two sure do!

  21. Svea says:

    Considering he couldn’t keep it in his pants snd has a couple of oopsie kids he barely sees, he needs to sit down. Furthermore he never had to do the heavy lifting. Another desperate celeb trying to latch onto the parent/family narrative so popular now in order to stay relevant. It is ridiculous.

  22. Dani says:

    I don’t care what he says, he’s my FOREVER crush. Seriously, if I was having a son (having another girl!!) I was considering naming him Alfie. I have problems.

  23. perplexed says:

    Well, I guess he genuinely likes children. That seems to explain why he has so many of them with a variety of women.

    His acting in The Young Pope does look good.

    Did he get a hair transplant? I could have sworn he was losing his hair. But now he kind of looks the same as he did when he was 25, but with only a few more lines.

  24. Emily C. says:

    He invariably sounds pompous, self-involved, shallow, and generally up his own rear to me. This is really no different.

    And his girlfriend is not “his.” Normally I don’t take exception to that kind of language, and will even say it’s fine to feel a little possessive. But the way he says it rubs me completely the wrong way. For one thing, the first thing I thought of is, are you hers too? Kinda doubt it since, you know, cheating cheater who cheats.

    Signed, someone without children (and glad to be so), and with a very full life no matter what this arrogant, self-absorbed airhead says.

    • Timbuktu says:

      It struck me as odd when I first read it, too, but someone upthread pointed out that he may have meant it as in “I’m not going to share her and our relationship with journalists and the general public”, in other words, a sort of romantic and polite way of saying “I’d rather not talk about her”.

  25. TQB says:

    I’m sure I’m not alone but came down here to say that’s 100% BS. FOR MR. LAW, children may be the thing that makes his wandering-D life “living.” I love my child and my family but parenthood is freaking hard. If you don’t want that life THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Your life is full and meaningful and you are truly living JUST FINE.

    NEVER let anyone shame you or guilt you into being someone you’re not, period. That includes parenthood.

    T OUT.

  26. Ashley Nate says:

    I’m surprised he actually spends time with all those kids he made with different women. Family time my @ss. He only cares about planting his seeds and moving on to the next, like he’s god’s gift to women lol

  27. spidey says:

    Thank you Jude. As a single (for ever) OAP with no children, it is very good of you to tell me that I am dead. Funnily enough, when I look in the mirror I could swear the person looking back at me is alive. And I have no family within 100 miles (for which I am rather thankful given what they are!), but I do have some very good friends who are family to me.

    PS wonder how much your kids have seen of you over the years, Jude.

  28. NeoCleo says:

    I interpreted his comment about “family” loosely and to me it means a system of emotional support which one can get from good friends and wonderful pets as well as from relations.

  29. Bobafelty says:

    Over 30 and single here….guess I’m just a dead woman walking.

  30. ash says:

    yal dont get word nazi (yeah i said it) on him about the kids thing…. i think he just means having that unconditional love in the form of family can be be a sustaining force esp when you grow old… and kids can be seen as vitality, again, as you grow older….yal dont be so literal with this celebs man LOL, take it with a grain of salt hahah

  31. Jeanette says:

    And Nannies! He forgot the part about the nanny..

  32. Robin says:

    Another celebrity idiot who thinks he can wax philosophical. How many families does he have, anyway?

  33. Racer says:

    I should go play in traffic then! No children, no desire for children, my family is small and we do not procreate. My life is worthless.

  34. HeyThere! says:

    Maybe he’s putting the word out that he needs a few more ‘families’! Haha

  35. hogtowngooner says:

    “I think for me, personally, for a few years I felt I was doing some really good work as a young actor, and it seemed people just wanted to talk about what I look like, as opposed to the work I was doing.”

    Welcome to life of every actress in Hollywood, Jude. Luckily for you, you actually get to keep working long after you’re considered fuckable. They usually don’t (the few roles that get to production go to Meryl or Helen).

  36. Dolkite says:

    I think people are taking his remarks way too seriously. Okay, call him out for the multiple families, but does everyone take everything literally? The guy loves the domestic life (or claims to), at least if that involves small kids. Why do people think that that means he automatically looks down on anyone who is childless?

    Some of my friends have kids. I don’t want kids. I’ll say I don’t want a kid around all the time and I don’t want to deal with tantrums in public, etc. They say it’s different when it’s your own. I don’t think they’re an idiot because they chose a different lifestyle than mine.

    If a celeb got married and said something like, “There’s nothing like being married. Being attached to someone. I don’t understand how some people stay alone their whole life, or don’t remarry if their partner dies. I never want to die alone.”, would they be viewed as a shit and as mocking those who prefer to stay single or to not remarry?

  37. Bobafelty says:

    We’re just mocking a balding and aging douchebag actor for talking about the importance of family, when he tore his apart to bang a nanny and keeps on donating his sperm to more women in some kind of endless midlife crisis.

    It’s hard to take the topic seriously when the man is a joke.

  38. tw says:

    So when does the meaning of life become clear? Before or after you bang the nanny and break up the family? And I agree with whomever commented about people saying “they never knew love before children” – ef off. From my experience, friends who have said that are the most miserable, exhausted, generally unhappy people I know. It’s like they’re saying it to make themselves feel better.

  39. Turtle says:

    I am a fan of Jude as an actor, truly. But he is totally going to be one of those 74-year-old guys with a 26-year-old girlfriend and a newborn, isn’t he?

  40. Dinah says:

    I hate it when anybody refers to someone else as “mine.” No one belongs to you. Not your mate or your children or your best friend. Death or any other one of life’s disruptions can take that person from you. He may belong to himself, but he is not the owner of a woman. That’s something Donald Trump would say. Trump’s dingbat third wife actually thinks that’s a compliment. It’s about as far from love as it gets. Shame on Jude for sounding like an inexperienced adolescent.

  41. geneva says:

    Barbara Streisand sang, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” I think that is true but not everyone is lucky in love or family or whatever.

    I am 57 with no children but yes, do wish I had a family of my own…and was not as lucky for a variety of reasons..some of my own making. I bought into the “womens liberation movement” as it was called in the 70s and then did not really understand that trying to meet mr. right at age 35 and on up would be tricky…anyway.. I will not say I don’t wish things worked out differently, but I hate that because someone is a mother or a father that they can judge anyone elses experience. It is smug..no doubt…and unfamous people say and act the way Jude Law does all the time but yes, he is someone that created three broken homes and no doubt someone amongst those perfect children of his may suffer for it in ways he cannot forsee…and as the person said at the top..celebrities should for the most part just shut up.

  42. Fuck you says:

    Says the guy who cheated on his wife with his children’s nanny.