Lena Dunham: Taylor Swift shouldn’t be criticized for her ‘normal’ dating life

The New York Premiere Of The Sixth & Final Season Of "Girls"

I guess we’re still talking about Lena Dunham’s interview with Howard Stern on Monday. I already covered one of the big headlines from the interview, which is that Lena has lost weight post-election because she has no appetite now that we have to look at Baby Fists’ mega-orange face every day. Lena also chatted with Stern about having Malia Obama on the set of Girls, how she feels about criticism of Taylor Swift’s dating life and more.

On the criticism of Taylor Swift’s dating life: “It’s so hard. I think about the relationships that I had in my early twenties and if they had been public, it would’ve been a disaster. I mean, not to repeat age-old feminist points, but it’s like, you know, any male actor her age who’s going out and dating is applauded. To just have a perfectly normal amount of romantic partners but be held to impossibly high standards by the press. Like, it’s just an unfair and unwinnable game.”

On Malia Obama’s internship on Girls: “She was interning at HBO and they thought, what if she comes a couple of days a week to the set of ‘Girl.’ Obviously, we weren’t making her go get our coffee … but she wanted to do all the jobs, that was the cool thing.” Instead of sending her out on errands, Lena said they made Malia a writers’ assistant in training. When Malia came to set, though, the Secret Service had to come, too. Lena described trying to enter a bathroom outside of her office one day and being stopped by an agent standing guard at the door. “There was a guy outside and he just was like, ‘No.’ And I was like, ‘What?’ I was like, ‘That’s my bathroom.’ And he was like, ‘No.'” Lena said.

Being criticized online: “I care if I feel that I have isolated a group of people who already feel marginalized in America or said something that is insensitive to the struggle of people who are already being repressed by our current governmental regime. I think public growth is a very healthy thing. You have to be open and you can’t sort of move through the world with a ‘f–k all y’all’ attitude. You have to move through the world and be open, and sometimes being open is painful. Some feedback is great and healthy and I learn from it. And some of it is just psychotic, cruel garbage.”

[From People & Howard Stern]

Re: listening to criticism online. I actually think her attitude is pretty smart, although I find it aggravating that Lena still has such an intense learning curve at the age of 30. Like, I’m not going to criticize her for actually learning, growing and changing when she makes a mistake. But how is she 30 years old and she’s just now learning some of this stuff? Special Snowflake Syndrome is the answer.

As for what she says about Taylor Swift (another member of the Special Snowflake Syndrome Club)… as I’ve said before, people should not criticize Taylor Swift for simply being a young woman who dates different guys. Personally, I don’t think that’s WHY people criticize her. We criticize her because she uses her relationships as fodder for blind-item songs, which further her manufactured image as a Poor, Innocent Victim, forever and ever. We criticize the PR aspect, the “performative” quality of Taylor’s relationships, not the fact that she’s in her 20s and has dated a handful of guys.

The New York Premiere Of The Sixth & Final Season Of "Girls"

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

72 Responses to “Lena Dunham: Taylor Swift shouldn’t be criticized for her ‘normal’ dating life”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Locke Lamora says:

    Both Lena and Taylor are very immature and self centered, no wonder they’re friends.

    And Malia got an intership at HBO? Well isn’t nepotism lovely.

    • QueenB says:

      “Well isn’t nepotism lovely. ” like the cast of Girls said: thats nonsense. they obviously didnt profit from nepotism from their wealthy and media connected parents! so Malia also only got her job through her hard work just like Lena and the rest.

    • lightpurple says:

      Except Malia’s parents don’t work in that industry.

    • Kristen says:

      I don’t really understand the criticism of Malia here – is she not supposed to work for the rest of her life? She can’t change who her parents are, and while certainly that affords her advantages, starting out as an intern somewhere (even HBO) seems pretty normal for a student her age.

      • Locke Lamora says:

        So any student can get an intership at HBO? Look, I get that it’s the way the world works and she’s just taking advantage of the benefits she’s given, but it’s still unfair and annoying and bitching about it on a gossip site makes me feel better.

      • MellyMel says:

        @ Locke She’s not the first or only person to intern at HBO (or any other entertainment company), so the answer to your question is Yes.

      • Kristen says:

        So where is she supposed to work where it would be fair?

      • Locke Lamora says:

        Oh God, am I saying she’s the only one ever in the history of mankind? No. But I doubt every kid who wants to be a filmmaker gets an intership at HBO and Harvey Weinstein. Seriously people, it’s like you’re being deliberately obtuse.

        Maybe if she had a film degree or made short films or something it would make more sense. If she has done some of these things, I apologise for being wrong.

        And I don’t know where she’s supposed to work because her name opens each and every door for her so I doubt she’ll ever get a job purely on her own merrit. But I guess people always doubting you is a small price to pay for all that privilege.

      • Alleycat says:

        I love Malia and Sasha, and I want to be friends with them even though I’m close to 30. But Locke Lamora is right. She hasn’t even gone to college yet, of course she wouldn’t get this internship if her last name was Smith. That’s not to say I wouldn’t do the same but she definitely didn’t get this on merit. I’m just glad she doesn’t want to be a model and actually wants to do something of substance.

      • Snowflake says:

        Life is not fair ladies. Even in ordinary life, people get jobs off connections. That’s Life. I feel sorry for Malia, anytime there’s an article on her, the comments are horrible. She can’t help who her parents are. If it was me, I would take advantage of my connections. Would you really want to be her? Photographers stalking you, every second of your life being judged? Don’t begrudge her for the few perks she has.

      • rudgies says:

        I don’t care who you are. Life IS all about who you know and we ALL use connections at some point in life. Some people just have greater connections, no reason to be bitter about it.

      • Cecilia says:

        Huh, it funny reading all this when people always complain about nepotism when it someone they dislike.
        but No, Now let’s be reasonable because we like this person.
        I never got why people complained about nepotism, some folks are born rich others are born poor. I can’t get mad at children of the Rich and famous. Sure they could start at he bottom, but they don’t have too.
        Just like if you get a job because your dad works there or you getting a discount because you know the manager.
        People use what they have to get ahead all the time.
        I don’t blame ANYONE for using there connections to get to where they want to be. I don’t blame people for not doing so either.

        There will always be someone who deserves it more, but in life, that’s how it is.

      • LinaLamont says:

        @Locke Lamora
        Yup. I agree with you. I, personally, don’t care who profits from nepotism in tv/film (I care very much who’s profiting from it in this current regime/government), but, no, not every kid gets to intern at HBO or any studio just because.

        @Alleycat
        “…of course she wouldn’t get this internship if her last name was Smith.”
        Well, if it was daughter-of-Will-Smith….yeah, she would. 🙂

      • Anitas says:

        Yeah. Mind you, given the security detail around her which needs to be accommodated, it’s not like Malia had a range of jobs to choose from. She could hardly be stacking shelves at a supermarket. Raising fuss about her internship is just petty.

    • ash says:

      yes… yes nepotism is lovely…. but what is EVEN lovelier is the fact that she didnt go into politics just bec her parents did ….but is choosing a life of creative.

      Any parent who does leaps and bounds to get where the obama’s did would help their child or solidify connections…. dont be snarky like this is a paris hilton nicki hilton type of deal.

  2. Chelly says:

    I think that

  3. Ellie says:

    God what is that pink mascara?! I do not understand why she is so damned set on purposely making herself look awful.

    • RussianBlueCat says:

      At first I thought she had a bad eye infection or got hit in the eyes

    • INeedANap says:

      She lost weight because she bent to societal pressure re: beauty standards, but she still needs to maintain her cred as “outsider” and “quirky-looking artsy girl” so she wore hideous makeup.

    • Tessy says:

      Is that really mascara? I thought she had pink eye.

  4. RussianBlueCat says:

    Maybe it just me, but if someone asked me about a friend’s dating life. I would tell them to go ask the person in question.
    Granted it may be different because we are talking about someone famous like Taylor Swift who’s dating life is fodder for the tabloids. I still would not make any comment other than” We are good friends and it would not be right to discuss her personal life”

  5. Shambles says:

    So T Swift is still sending her people to do this.

    For literal years, we’ve been explaining why Taylor gets criticized for her dating life, so if ya don’t know, ya just don’t know. To say it’s just because she dates different men is an oversimplification. And Taylor is almost 30 herself, and a manipulative genius. She is not the victim

    • Digital Unicorn (aka Betti) says:

      True dat. Hiddles is playing her at her own PR dating game – he’s been blabbing about her to GQ. Normally its her ex’s who keep quiet while she blabs about them to the press. Now we see why it didn’t work out – she met her male equivalent.

      • detritus says:

        I was just thinking this! Whatever will she do, he has come out to say HE is the heartbroken one. He is victim to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and he didn’t throw her under the bus.

        That’s how you play victim nicely TayTay.

        Toms a nicer version. I’d say Calvin matches her better in pettiness. I still kind of want them to get back together because they were so mean girl perfect together.

      • INeedANap says:

        I don’t know if Hiddles is legit in his earnestness, trying to play her, or both, but I’d argue he has better insight into the media machine and can manipulate it better than she can.

    • Ramona says:

      I think its disengenous not to recognise that there is a sizeable camp who DO criticise Taylor for being a “slut”. They explicitly have a problem with the number of guys and not this other nuanced stuff. I’m not merely talking about the biggest online comments sections from TMZ to DM, although its shocking how bad it is there. I mean that even coverage on less tabloidy outlets like E News consider it acceptable to shade her numbers. The only way you may not be aware of that attitude is if you solely read feminist blogs with strong moderators. Everywhere else this sentiment Lena is referring to overwhelms all of the other more nuanced criticism.
      (Just realised there are dozens of other comments I could have posted this under. I only put it here because yours was the first comment I read in full. I hope it doesnt seem aggressively aimed at you)

      • Trixie says:

        On Fashion Police years ago they did a joke about how many guys Taylor has dated. I also remember Chelsea Handler making fun of Taylor’s long list of exes on her old E show which I thought was so stupid since Handler brags about all the guys she bangs all the time. There are absolutely people who criticize Taylor for the number of guys she dates.

      • Shambles says:

        Yes, there are people who criticize Taylor specifically for the number of men she dates, and that sucks. All of us, as women, have probably experienced this strain of misogyny. That, however, doesn’t detract from the very valid criticisms of her– that she’s a user, she’s obsessed with her image, that she’s manipulative, and that she has a victim complex.

      • happinessinme says:

        @shambles, except Lena and the article didn’t even address that part of her character. She addressed the criticism of the number of men Taylor dates, but you clearly could not wait for the opportunity to point out the other “flaws” you believe she possesses, and has nothing to do with the article, and for that constant form of criticism and character assassination, she is the victim.

      • teacakes says:

        ….wait, are you saying Shambles SHOULDN’T have pointed out fact-based criticism of her? (i.e. she’s a liar, manipulates media – these are on the record, not speculations or rumours)

    • OhDear says:

      She’s trying to deflect the criticisms of her to a safer one (from “playing victim, throwing people under the bus, using feminism only as a PR tool, etc.” to “dating a lot”)

      • MissMarierose says:

        Exactly. By deflecting and claiming that she’s been slut shamed, she and her crew turn it around and continue to play the innocent victim charade.
        It’s old and it’s over.

      • Shambles says:

        EXACTLY, OhDear. Yes. Just like Trump’s people try to soften what he says: “He’s not saying the terror attacks don’t get covered at all (which is literally what he said), he’s just saying they don’t get covered ENOUGH.”

  6. Louise177 says:

    I don’t think anybody has criticized Taylor for the number of guys she’s dated. It’s the way she dates. She’s with a guy for 4-6 weeks and has all of these over the top gestures. Then she acts like it’s a tragedy when they break up. The guys are always the bad guy and she’s an innocent victim. It’s funny that she was with Calvin Harris for over a year but moved on to Tom immediately if not before the breakup. It’s just hard to take her relationships seriously when she makes it easy to make fun of her.

  7. QueenB says:

    feminism is very useful to protect Taylor Swift from criticism for her very obvious PR games. feminism is not useful when it does something for women other than Taylor though.

    lets also not forget Taylor tweeted a line or two about the womens march.

    also buzzfeed went in on her:
    How Taylor Swift Played The Victim For A Decade And Made Her Entire Career
    https://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/how-taylor-swift-played-the-victim-and-made-her-entire-caree?utm_term=.caO5Bm7GJ#.udN77vp5e

    fits perfectly to this, her friends also portray her as the victim.

    • Anon says:

      You know that article was edited to be more favourable to her after her publicist contacted Buzzfeed to have a moan? Someone did a side by side comparison of the before and after and one of the things taken out was a comment that she manipulates the media! You couldn’t make it up.

  8. Alleycat says:

    For the love of everything, nobody cares about how many people she’s dated, we mock her because every hook up is the greatest love story/tragedy ever told. And that is her doing. She wrote an entire album supposedly for a teenager she was dating for 4 weeks when she was 23. I honestly believe she is gay so it makes her performances with dudes more explainable.

    • JulP says:

      This. And because every moment of her relationships (with the exception of Calvin) is a photo op.

  9. Jeesie says:

    No one criticises Swift for dating. They criticise her for the way she dates. She blatantly courts publicity via her love life, she acts like a creepy stalker, and she writes multiple songs and in one case almost an entire album about ‘relationships’ that barely even qualify as flings.

    If anything she gets off lightly because she’s a woman. She’s done and written a lot of weird, obsessive, creepy stuff. If she were a guy her behaviour would be seen as sinister instead of just silly. Hell, if she was a guy that whole thing where she was signing the Kennedy kid out of school to go bang would have tainted her forever.

  10. Donna says:

    I don’t care what narcissist Dunham thinks about anything.

  11. paolanqar says:

    If she didn’t want to be criticized she should have kept it private and not post pics about her relationships every 2 seconds. People love bitching about celebrities, what did she expect?
    She gave her ‘friends’ t-shirst with ‘I love Taylor Swift’ written on it. How lame and attention seeking is that?
    Also, I feel entitled to criticize whomever has a ‘squad’. Call me shallow.

    And Lena, shut up.

    • detritus says:

      “I feel entitled to criticize whomever has a ‘squad’. Call me shallow.
      And Lena, shut up.”

      All of this, all day long.

      She actively monetizes and markets all of her relationships when allowed. She’s the MidWest Kim K. Her market is slightly different, but they are pretty much the same.

  12. happinessinme says:

    Don’t we all feel like the victim in breakups though? In heartbreak? We just don’t write about it, but what if we could express it through songs the way she does? would it be so bad? People like her music because they feel exactly like she does as written in her song lyrics.I don’t think constantly writing songs about her heartbreak and bad experiences makes her the “victim”, I think she’s just good at sad love songs.In addition, is it fair to assume that she ONLY dates people so that she could have music content. I’m sure she wants love as badly as any 27 year old. Lastly, is it not possible that she was the one who was used in the relationship sometimes? Sigh, I feel like such an outsider in the celebrity gossip community when it comes to her.

    • Jaii says:

      I’ll be in the outsider club with you too, bcos I pretty much agree with all you just wrote . I’m a fan of TSwifts music I’m not ashamed to say it, and she doesn’t bother me either .

      • happinessinme says:

        Red is my favourite album as well. There wasn’t a single thing imperfect about it.I have a male friend at work who admitted to playing the album on repeat for days because of his heartbreak. She actually caused me to develop a love for country and soft rock. My fav on Red is the “The moment I knew”. She is a lyrical genius.

    • Trixie says:

      The people who like and are fans of her music clearly connected to her songs for a reason. Her songs are just like any other heartbreak song. The only difference is with Taylor the relationships which the songs are based on are public and with most other songs the relationships the songs are based on are not public.

      I didn’t much care for Red or 1989, but her first three albums really captured what I was feeling at the time they were released and I was and am very much a fan of those albums. There is nothing wrong with that.

      • Jaii says:

        Red is my all time favourite of her albums, I almost do is actually one of my favourite all time songs , not just by TS , and your right it’s to do with the meanings the listener associates it with . But, like you not so much 1989, though Shake it off , bad blood , and blank space are must have on my jogging playlist . Until Hiddleswift was covered everywhere I honestly never really cared or took much notice about her personal life , and I still don’t , but no one can hand on heart say they haven’t seen shaming of Taylor for the number of men she’s dated.

    • Snowflake says:

      I agree, I don’t listen to her music. Songwriters write about their life, people need to get over it

    • Jeesie says:

      No, I don’t. The vast majority of my relationships, from flings to marriages, have ended mutually. That’s how most healthy relationships are, things just fizzle out or people change and there’s no one to blame and no reason to feel victimised.

      But anyway, most of the guys she’s written songs about she was only with for a couple of weeks if that. Like John Mayer. At most they had a few hook-ups. Or Jake Gyllenhaal. A few weeks of dates. Even with Harry Styles, they spent at most 4 weeks actually dating while together in the same place, over a span of a couple of years.

      Up til Calvin Harris she’d had nothing resembling a serious relationship. Only a couple would even rise above the level of hook-ups. If she was actually ‘heartbroken’ because things didn’t work out with some guy she went on 5 dates with, she has major issues.

  13. grabbyhands says:

    Oh my GOD.

    No one is criticizing the Aryan Princess for dating a lot. She’s getting criticized for using her relationships for personal publicity and then revenge fodder in order to prolong her unending victim hood for more publicity and record sales.

    She’s getting criticized for pushing a false “girl power” mantra in order to deflect blame or negative attention, thus furthering her victim status.

    She’s getting criticized for being a two faced, manipulative liar.

    And as for Lena-

    “I care if I feel that I have isolated a group of people who already feel marginalized in America or said something that is insensitive to the struggle of people who are already being repressed by our current governmental regime.

    Bish, no you don’t or you wouldn’t keep doing it. And you do, Over and over again. I don’t see a learning curve, I see a total inability to not make every single thing about you and your “white woman’s struggle”. Just like your bestie, Taylor.

  14. Giulia says:

    Every time I see how she presents herself on the r.c. i think she hates herself. She could look great, but will alwlays do something to destroy it, every time. Maybe she intends it as a comment on how women are objectified or something, but it just comes across as self hating and a bit sad.

  15. Greenieweenie says:

    I think her relationships are funny because they last two weeks and she goes on to write melodramatic songs about how intense their love was and she’s so broken hearted. Listening to her songs, you’d think she was talking about people she’d been married to. All the drama, so much feels–the relationships of a 16 year old.

  16. Trixie says:

    Just because the people on here claim their comments are about something else doesn’t mean no one out there criticizes Taylor for the amount of guys she dates. There are absolutely people who criticize Taylor for how many guys she dates.

  17. Adrien says:

    I think Taylor Swift can defend herself. She is a big girl. No one should be speaking on her behalf especially now that no one seems to be talking about the current state of her lovelife. Sure, Lena got asked but it is none of her business, really.

  18. Midnightatthemuseum says:

    TS shouldn’t be critised for having a ‘normal’ dating life? When has she ever had one? *cough* serial beard *cough*

  19. Chelly says:

    Idk what happened to my original comment but I’ll simplify…..if we were ALL dissected & scrutinized PUBLICLY for whom we dated & more so how often we date, we’d be singing a very different tune. However, when you purposely parade these so called relationships for social media, PR or, “artistic” purposes, then you have no one but yourself to blame for the inevitable shade, side eye, & scrutiny

  20. Patricia says:

    Lena…… ugh.
    Did anyone see her insta pic where she makes a diary entry about her “Trump diet”. Oh my god she’s such a narcissist snowflake it’s unreal. Like, some of us have actual work and lives to lead.
    I’m upset too but most days I have to shovel my oatmeal down in the morning so I can chase my busy toddler while being 5mos pregnant. She’s just so out of touch, and the whole thing reminds me of how I reacted to things when I was 14 years old.
    Muslim women who wear hijab probably don’t even get as dramatic, although I’m sure many of them are struggling to eat most days. And they are the ones for whom there is a real daily impact from this election. I’m not saying Lena shouldn’t be affected by it. We ALL are. But she’s acting like she’s been personally victimized and just kind of making the whole thing about her weight loss and my eyes roll so hard it hurts.
    If you want to hate your life, spend a few mins on her insta haha.

  21. agnes says:

    This header picture freaks me out. Every!single!time!

  22. QueenB says:

    this is also just gross:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4186464/Lena-Dunham-confesses-guest-star.html
    She confessed: ‘I did make out with a day player actor on our show in the first season. Before we understood the full boundaries of professionalism.

    ‘I was like, “You’ve been on set for eight hours. You seem interested in me and my power. I would love to go to the 11th Street Bar with you.”‘

    However, Lena said that she quickly realised meeting up with her co-star outside of filming wasn’t a good idea and felt she was acting like ‘the grossest male producer’.
    She continued: ‘Then I kind of got there, I was like, ‘Oh wow, this person doesn’t even think I’m cute.’ He’s just like, “She runs a TV show and I’m actor.” I was like, “This is a nightmare. I’ve inadvertently become the grossest male producer.”‘

  23. kri says:

    Ah, Special Snowflakes. How I despise them. Especially when they don’t even know what they are. The only reason I am interested in TS’s dating life is for the glee it provides me. I am still not over the fact that Lena lined her eyes with Pepto and thought it looked good.

  24. Antigone says:

    I know I’m in the minority here, but I feel like Lena Dunham is overly criticized. She presents in a goofy/misguided way at times but I get the feeling that at heart she’s a well intentioned person. Good for her for actually being open to listening to feedback and growing as a person. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t able or willing to do that at any age.

    I won’t comment re: her unnecessary defense of Taylor Swift lol except to again state that I think she is well intentioned.

  25. L84Tea says:

    That eye makeup she’s wearing makes my own eyes want to water and itch. Yikes!

  26. courtney says:

    in a way Lena Is right it’s normal for young women to date several men before landing on the one they’ll marry though not all celebs do it as publicly as Taylor does which is one reason she gets criticized for it for example before Faith Hill and Tim McGraw began dating while they were on tour together in 1996 she only had one other known boyfriend to whom she was engaged to be married her then producer Scott Hendricks and of course she and Tim had first met at Country Radio Seminar around the time her and Scott became engaged in 1995. she and Tim though became serious quickly during the Spontaneous combustion tour in Spring-Fall 1996 she also became pregnant with their oldest daughter during that tour the got engaged and married shortly after the tour ended on October 6th 1996 in Rayville Louisiana at his aunt Barbara’s home they announced her pregnancy on December 23rd 1996 their daughter Gracie arrived 5 1/2 weeks early on May 5th 1997

  27. Chingona says:

    Except it isn’t normal Lena. Taylor starts dating some guy and in two weeks she is meeting their parents, buying a house by their families, having matching shirt pda walks on the beach where omg the paperazzi just so happens to be, putting out rumors that he will be purposing and then they break up. Now that dude was a jerk or cheated on her and left poor little Swifty all heartbroken which she uses to inspire her to write those amaze balls songs. There are many other celebrities who date different people but don’t feel the need to share every aspect of their relationship, thus they aren’t critized as heavily as Taylor. If a guy did what Taylor does we would be saying the same thing, in fact look at Tom after dating Taylor that caused a lot of people to see him differently. Taylor and Lena both want to put themselves out there and if someone dares not see them as the victim or the special little snow flake they can’t take it.

  28. teacakes says:

    way to not only miss the point, but give it a wide berth.

    Taylor Snake gets called out for being a liar and a media manipulator and the best defence anyone can offer is “waaah she dates like normal people, stop criticising her for the number of people she dates!”? I thought Lena was supposed to be some great wit but this is WEAK.

  29. Yoon says:

    This princess needs to shut her mouth before someone does it for her.