'09
This is just a little story to make your day better. Heather Mills, ex-wife of Paul McCartney, recently tweeted that she totally wiped out on the slippery floor of a grocery store and her prosthetic leg went flying. Heather tweeted that she “slipped on spilled milk while being followed down supermarket aisle by two teenage boys, ended up on my ass but they rescued my leg and me.” Slipped on spilled milk? Being followed by two boys? Who then rescued her? As much as I want to savor the mental image of Heather going ass over tea kettle, this story reeks of Heather’s well-documented delusions. But still, enjoy:
Heather Mills has admitted that she recently lost her leg in a supermarket after slipping on a wet floor.
The former model, who lost her left limb when she was hit by a police motorcycle in 1993, recounted the incident on her Twitter page.
“Slipped on spilled milk while being followed down supermarket aisle by two teenage boys, ended up on my ass but they rescued my leg and me,” she wrote.
Mills, 41, also revealed that she had given Susan Boyle her “sympathy vote” in the Britain’s Got Talent final because “she is talented and has been built up and torn down. People lose courage for no reason and think what’s the point in trying”.
[From Digital Spy]
The first thing that came to mind was “that poor supermarket is going to get sued because Heather Mills is just that deranged.” But probably not – Heather seems to be keeping a tight grip on her huge divorce settlement, so perhaps she’ll give this grocery store a pass. God knows, it probably didn’t even happen. The story seems to have all of the right pieces for a typical Heather Mills delusion – she’s the damsel in distress, yet pluckish and good-humored; there are noble men waiting in wings to “rescue” Heather; there is the evil, faceless corporate/political/socioeconomic bad man – the supermarket – who is too interested in the bottom line to clean up the spilled milk; and lastly, there is the milk itself, a symbol of purity and motherhood, which destroys Heather’s gentle countenance. Heather’s delusions have gotten quite literary. Props to her.
Heather Mills is shown in the header at the airport in LA on 5/28/09. Credit: MATEI/CHRIS/bauergriffinonline.com. She is also shown in London at the airport below on 5/29/09. Credit: bauergriffinonline
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Heather Mills, Photos
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15 Responses to “Heather Mills slips on spilled milk, loses leg, gets rescued”
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Heather Mills looks like a hybrid Octomom and Marilyn Manson!
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Except it woulda been funnier if she wasn’t ‘rescued’.
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this headline is just tooo funny! good job kaiser!
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she may be a total nutcase but she has done wonderful things for victims of landmines by giving them prosthetic limbs they would never have gotten otherwise.
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didn’t know if the header was the joke or the punchline.
lol teenage boys in the supermarket lol
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that’s kind of mean though… i don’t think this woman deserves all the hatred she’s been getting…
that being said though, here’s something bitchy… i think she slipped and lost her ass too…. ooohhh… burnnnnn
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I call BS before reading any further than her spelling “spilt” “spilled”.
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She’s a nut job……..
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How is this even a story?
I adore Heather Mills. I would want to know her or live near her, but she’s all shades of crazy fabulous.
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A little classless, don’t you think? I don’t like a lot of people but I wouldn’t find humor in their pain or misfortune… just my take…
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I still dont get why all this hatred??so nowaday its funny to laugh at someone loosing his or her leg????do i miss something?Beside doesnt all this hatred started by the media when she got divorced,coz before that she was all good!!show some sensibility damn it!!!!
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Oh, c’mon. That is freaking hilarious.
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They have proven that Heather has NOT helped people get the limbs that she promised. Infact one girl was promised new limbs and then Heasther said if the sompany didnt give them to her she would pay for them herslef and she didnt. It was all over the papers. SHe is NOT this doogooder unless it pays her to be one.
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My question is…what was she wearing for her prosthetic leg to go “flying”? (really have no idea how they work, sorry for my ignorance).
Heather Mills is, like most people, not all bad or all wonderful. She is very likely selfish, self-centered, vain and greedy (as she showed during the divorce), but at the same time cares about causes and is willing to use her money to help people.
Although it was the nasty-divorce-from-hell, Paul McCartney still must have loved something about her to marry her in the first place.
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Why is she wearing her jeans backwards?
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