Actress, writer and director Gabourey Sidibe has proven her durability in Hollywood. Not only has she worked steadily since her breakout role in Precious almost a decade ago, she’s done so despite a bevy of naysayers saying she couldn’t. Gabourey has turned in ground-breaking performances in The Big C, Difficult People and Empire. Yet, she is not impervious to nasty comments, the majority of which attack her weight. Gabourey was a part of the MAKERS 2018 Conference this week where she admitted she dreads red carpets, not only for the terrible comments people make about her, but for the inevitable question about how she got to be so confident.
Gabourey Sidibe describes her self as “f-king unbreakable.” And yet, she dreads red carpet events.
“It’s really hard to get dressed up for award shows when I know I’ll get made fun of because of my weight,” Sidibe, 34, explained at the 2018 MAKERS conference in Hollywood, California on Monday, February 5. “If I wear purple, somebody will call me Barney. If I wear white, a frozen turkey. If I wear red, a pitcher of Kool-Aid. These are actual tweets I’ve gotten.” (The Empire actress brilliantly shut down trolls who criticized her appearance at the 2014 Golden Globes by tweeting: “I mos def cried about it on that private jet on my way to my dream job last night. #JK.”)
Sidibe, a champion for loving yourself, went on to reveal that the No. 1 question she gets asked is: “Gabourey, how are you so confident?”
“I always wonder if that’s the first thing they ask Rihanna when they meet her. ”Riri, how are you so confident?’ mused the American Horror Storyalum. “Of course not. Everybody knows why Rihanna’s confident. She’s beautiful.”
“How am I so confident?” continued an emotional Sidibe. “It’s my good time and my good life despite what you think of me.”?
This breaks my heart. Most people walk a red carpet because they have earned the right to be there. Imagine dressing up to be honored only to be ripped to shreds on social media. That’s bad enough but being asked how she could possibly be so confident? That’s just ignorant. Especially of an Academy Award nominated actress who also wrote a book and directed a short film to her credit.
Another point Gabourey brought up, which she has discussed before, is that she’s not looking for people to compliment her on her weight loss. After she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, she knew she needed to make some major changes. One of those changes was bariatric surgery, which has greatly improved her overall health. Although she has lost weight, she doesn’t need to hear about it, “You don’t need to congratulate me on it. You don’t congratulate me every time I blow my nose. I need to. It’s my body. Mind your own body.” I think I can see where she’s coming from on this. The surgery saved her life, she didn’t opt to do it for any aesthetic reason. If I understand her point, it would be like if I congratulated my mother for have her cancer-ridden uterus removed – her only other option would have been to die. I think what Gabourey is trying to reinforce is that she and her confidence come from much more than how someone sees her. She’s a powerhouse and I hope she continues to thrive.
And I really hope she keeps her sense of humor because she cracks me up – on screen and off:
I’ve decided to get a tonsillectomy and I deserve to take all of 2018 off as personal time to rest from this huge adult decision I just made. Please respect my privacy at this time.
— Gabby Sidibe (@GabbySidibe) January 13, 2018
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Getty Images
eh…
as someone who did have bariatric surgery…i don’t mind people noting my weight loss and congratulating me for it. Weight loss with or without surgery is a tough battle. We do congratulate patients who beat cancer…we do praise it. I think Gab is just tired of talking about her weight…period. I get that too. You don’t want to be defined by your struggles.
I suspect she’s a bit like me. I have come to a point where I just don’t want any commentary on my body or appearance. A simple “You look nice.” is sometimes welcome but even that makes me uncomfortable some days. It means that you notice. And I don’t want you to. If you notice weightloss, you’ll notice the weighgain which will at some point probably happen again. I get dressed up for myself, I put on makeup for myself. People (family was first) have been commenting on my weight since I can remember. I’m tired. It doesn’t help, it doesn’t encourage, it doesn’t do what people think it does.
@littlemissnaughty I feel the same. The person I am seeing complimented me the other day, and we had a discussion where if anyone else had said the same thing, it wouldn’t be welcome or appreciated, it would be invasive and creepy. I dress for my damn self, I put on makeup or do my hair for my damn self, I exercise for my own health, and unless something about me affects your life in some real detrimental way, it’s none of your damn business (can you tell I’m frustrated?).
And yes, the weight/family member thing started early with me, too.
I’m curious, how open are you about your weight loss resulting from bariatric surgery? No shade at all. I had gastric sleeve done 1/2/18 (one was to meet that annual weight loss resolution!) and wonder how people approach it. Nowhere near the point where people will comment on weight loss yet and I’ve been open with friends/family, thinking more the people you don’t see very often, are likely to be judgemental under the guise of support (my boss is one of these, I telecommute so only see her every 2-3 months), snarky, etc. Do you say thanks and move on, expand if asked?
If they comment on my weight loss I say thank you. If they ask ‘my secret’ i tell them. I have no shame in it. I tried for 10+ years to lose weight and surgery was a last resort when my health became an issue. I am three years out from my surgery and most people are used to the ‘new me’ now.
Thanks and congrats! I’m celebrating the addition of crunchy foods (toast, triscuits) to the food plan today, lol!
This is tangential but there is a clip of an interview with a white male reporter and a very young, like mid-teens, Venus Williams and he asks her repeatedly, with a look of disgust and disbelief on his face, “Why are you so confident? Why are you so confident?” Her father shut.that.crap.down. Just the question is an attempt to tear at someone’s self esteem because YOU think they shouldn’t think so highly of themselves. Shut it down.
Yes!
This has got to be one the best video of all time!
https://youtu.be/IZ_Dgnn437o
WHOA!! this is amazing. Dad knew EXACTLY what was up. You can tell by the interviewers tone and facial expressions that he was hostile towards her confidence, like it was bothering him. An adult just doesn’t interact with a kid that way. They would smile at the kid for one thing, and ask something like “what inspires you?” or “what helps you feel good about yourself?”. Such racist vibes, and then chastising dad for interrupting? Insanity.
I love when she’s on talk shows as a guest because her interviews are always so funny ! This girl has such a great personality and she has more confidence than A LOT of people. Good for her !
She really does. She’s hilarious. On another note, we can’t have it both ways. We can’t sit here and idolize and praise people because they look “perfect” and then tear people apart for an ugly dress, shoes, etc.. Neither can we ignore the fact that she is obese. Please.
I’ve come to learn that people, in general, are very, very superficial. Look at all the time and money spent on products and techniques to achieve a certain look. After ‘Precious’ I was worried that we may not hear from this talented young lady again because of how people view women (especially dark-skinned black women). I’ve been pleasantly surprised that she has been getting work.
However, and please bear with me as I work through this, with all her talents and abilities she’s never had a true romantic interest in the majority of her roles. For an actress this is highly uncommon as most women (un)fortunately are tied into the story with some type of romantic entanglement. So, my question is, for all the patting on the back and niceties people are writing about and to her here, do you really want to see her in a romanticized role the way that she looks? I, personally, would love it, but I really have my doubts about most people. I just find the whole business a bit duplicitous when people preach ‘body positivity’ and don’t extend the same opportunities to those people.
Good for her. I love her. I am sorry she has to keep dealing with these loser comments, but she is definitely skillful at shutting them down.
“If I wear purple, somebody will call me Barney. If I wear white, a frozen turkey. If I wear red, a pitcher of Kool-Aid. These are actual tweets I’ve gotten.”
I feel so bad for laughing at this comment. I don’t mean it and I am certainly not making fun of her…….but the comments on its own is kind of funny without it being referenced to a particular person.
Some people take it too far though. The mean comments towards her were uncalled for.
These comments are pretty mild. I used to be fat, I got way worse daily. I’m sure she does too. There are few things that offend people more than a fat person, especially a fat woman.
Wow, sad yet inspiring. I’m 58 & have been a Type 2 diabetic going on 30 years. For 25+ years I’ve had to give myself multiple daily insulin shots, up to six a day. Before I give myself a shot I need to prick my finger (OUCH!!!) & see what how high the sugar level in my blood is before I know how much insulin to take (after taking into consideration how many grams of carbs, protein and fat I’m going to consume as well as if I’m going to exercise, whether I’m sick or stressed out…). I must do these complex calculations multiple times per day, every day. Like an old “Reader’s Digest” aarticle, ‘I Am My Body’s Pancreas’, lol.
That’s why I’m having bariatric surgery later this year-losing weight will be nice, but within two weeks after the surgery my blood sugars will be NORMAL!!! NO MORE PRICKING, NO MORE SHOTS! Yes, of course I’m nervous but I’m way more excited. To have normal blood sugars and just LIVE MY DAMN LIFE will be a miracle that I could have never EVER begin to imagine 🙄
I
Good luck, my mom and I had it and we no longer have to deal with type two
My x husband all takes insulin for his type 2 and he is getting the surgery in a month
It is literally a life changer
The blue eye shadow with the yellow and blue dress LOOKS AMAZING. She’s got great style.
The peacock print dress is amazing.
I think she looks great in the last picture too, the dark teal dress with wavy hair.
Seriously, what are you supposed to say in response to that question. I hope she answers “why wouldn’t I be”??????? Sick of everything being about body body body. Go Gabourey. Thrive.
People are mean, but her tweet (both of ’em) were hilarious. She has every reason to be confident.
Also, Hecate, hope your mom’s okay.
Gabourey is living her best life, outpacing critics and far less talented “stars” and making her dreams happen. Carry on!
Her book was great. I recommend it. She’s got a wonderful personality.
She is very tough, tougher than me, I’d have chose to shield myself from the scrutiny out of fear, so I really admire her for continuing to be seen. I am a overweight black woman, also dark skin, and man its still very acceptable to be made fun of when fat. Its almost like you are just waiting for someone to make a snide remark on your looks. People see me in my nice car and nice ring and immediately upset and disgusted as if I don’t deserve love & nice things. foh.