I’m just going to go ahead and say it: OJ Simpson is one big ball of dumb. How in the world does someone that notoriously famous for getting away with crime think he could very publicly commit a planned criminal act with lots of accomplices and witness and get away with it? Dude, you only got away with it the first time because you killed everyone there. The only living witness was the Akita. Unless you did that here, it wasn’t going to work out well for you dude. People know what you look like (that vertical football shaped head isn’t helping you blend in) and who you are. How could tis have turned out well? Unless you’re banking on the “I’m a notorious murder who isn’t afraid to do it again because I can get away with it” theory, this is going to blow up in your face.

I admitted last week that I don’t know shit about sports. So to me, I guess I just don’t understand how some football memorabilia is more important than your freedom. Go on eBay, I’m sure you can find some knock offs.

“After being whisked away in handcuffs, Simpson was booked Sunday night on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm, police said.

“The district attorney said he expected Simpson to ultimately be charged with seven felonies and one gross misdemeanor. If convicted, Simpson could face up to 30 years in prison on each robbery count.

“A judge ordered Simpson held without bail. Las Vegas court information officer Michael Sommermeyer said Simpson’s arraignment was set for Wednesday, with a bail hearing to be held after that.”

[From Yahoo News]

Well here’s hoping. I really doubt OJ would be sentenced to 210 years (oh.my.gosh would that make me happy) but maybe he’ll do some time. I really doubt that it’ll be anything significant, but you never know. The man will shell out some crazy money for lawyers… though I’m not sure how, since theoretically he’s supposed to be living in poverty. But I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to get top of the line attorneys and he won’t do any significant time. Technically he doesn’t have priors, at least relating to murdering people.

“‘We believe it is an extremely defensible case based on conflicting witness statements, flip-flopping by witnesses and witnesses making deals with the government to flip,’ [Yale] Galanter [Simpson’s attorney] said Sunday.

“Beardsley blamed the incident on [Thomas] Riccio [co-owner of and auction house], who he claims told Simpson that his property was in the room in Las Vegas.

“‘If they don’t charge Riccio I will be very upset. That guy lied to O.J. and got him all pumped up,’ he said.”

[From Yahoo News]

I guess Yale Galanter never learned that very basic lesson that we are all responsible for our own behavior. Lying to OJ Simpson about his former possessions doesn’t mean it’s his fault OJ decided to break into a room with guns and steal his old stuff back. OJ getting too “pumped up” and angry has been a well documented problem for him. Along with blaming everyone else for that anger.

A transcript of the recording of the event has just been released.

“An apparent audiotape of O.J. Simpson’s standoff with men he accused of stealing his memorabilia begins with the ex-NFL star demanding, ‘Don’t let nobody out of here.’

“‘Think you can steal my s— and sell it?’ the voice identified as Simpson’s said.

“Simpson was arrested Sunday and booked on charges connected with what police described as a robbery at a Las Vegas hotel. In the audiotape released Monday by the celebrity news Web site TMZ.com, a man believed to be Simpson is heard shouting questions while other men yell orders to the people in the room.

“The recording was made by Thomas Riccio, co-owner of the auction house Universal Rarities, according to TMZ. Simpson has said Riccio called him several weeks ago to tell him collectors were selling some of his items.”

[From Yahoo News]

OJ Simpson is so delusional, and it’s sad that the legal system has given in and encouraged his delusions. It’s also upsetting that he’s become a bit of a celebrity, and people ask for his autographs. It’s just encouraged his delusions of grandeur, and his feeling that he can give in to any whim he wants. I really hope and pray he does time for this, and that history won’t repeat itself.

Update: Here’s a link to TMZ’s copy of the Simpson recording. Not suitable for work.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Simpson being led away in handcuffs by plainclothes police officers in Vegas.

On Friday I promised commenters that I wouldn’t post Simpson’s picture again without putting a “Mr. Yuck” sticker over his head first. I’m not sure I can do that without getting sued by the photo agencies, so I’m sticking it here and you all can visualize it on his face if it helps.