New theory: Jessica Simpson was dumped b/c she was drunk and/or fat

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Earlier this week, we covered the report from Star Magazine about a possible Jessica Simpson tell-all autobiography. Allegedly, Jessica could be dishing the dirt on all of her boyfriends and hook-ups. At the time, we heard a little about what Jessica could possibly say about Tony Romo, John Mayer and her brief hook-ups with Jude Law and Dane Cook. I wondered if Johnny Knoxville and Adam Levine were included in this little tabloid story, and they are!

The new issue of Star has information on Knoxville, Levine and… wait for it… Bam Margera. On Johnny Knoxville: “She and Johnny hung out together a lot during the movie. Johnny was the strangest guy…. He believed in space aliens and talked to his muscles, encouraging them to grow. He also liked to be spanked and give spankings!” Dude… I’m so sorry I asked. On Bam Margera: “They drank a lot together, and Jessica will recount a number of wild times.” Christ. Does Jessica even remember enough of her “relationship” with Bam to write about it? On Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5): “[He was] incredibly sweet…They used to stay together at the Chateau Marmont together, drinking and laughing. But Adam couldn’t handle the attention that came with dating Jessica.” Haha, Adam Levine couldn’t “handle” Jessica. That’s hilarious. As for Tony Romo? Well, it seems Star has a hot tip about Romo and a full-length mirror:

“Tony liked Jessica to dress up as a cheerleader but with garter belts and stockings and high heels,” says the source. “He also liked bringing food into lovemaking, like in the movie 9 ½ Weeks. He would feed her grapes and strawberries in bed.”

“[Tony] always wanted her to tell him how manly he was,” said a source.

But both Tony and Jessica liked to party hard – and for Jessica, all that drinking packed on the pounds. So insiders say she’ll dish about how self-conscious the excess weight made her feel.

“Tony is extremely vain,” says another source. “I’m sure Jess will spill about how he’d sometimes stand in front of the mirror, analyzing his naked body. Eventually, Jess became extremely sensitive about her own ballooning figure. She thinks that was the beginning of the end.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 24 2009]

Again with the neverending debate about exactly how and why Tony Romo dumped poor Jessica. I’ve never been a fan of explaining their split on Jessica’s yo-yo weight, probably because I didn’t really think she gained that much. She put on an extra 10 or 15 pounds for a few months, and then lost it. It wasn’t the end of the world, and she was by no means “fat”.

Now Fox News Pop Tarts has another explanation – Jessica Simpson is a big lush, and Tony couldn’t handle her “out of control” drinking and behavior. Also: when Jessica got hammered, she “embarrassed” Tony in front of his friends:

Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo’s pals and Jess’s love of adult beverages.

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

We’re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and “fought for her” with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn’t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.

But in Simpson’s defense, a friend from her camp told Tarts that she doesn’t drink too much, and that there were numerous issues going on between them before Romo said his goodbyes.

“She was devastated and it did come as a shock, however,” added the source.

[From Fox News]

While I’ll buy that Jessica gets “loud and obnoxious” when drunk, I don’t really think Jessica has a problem. Of course, she looked utterly wasted at Ken Paves’ party last week, but I kind of think that was an isolated incident. I wouldn’t mind getting drunk with Jessica, actually. I bet she’s a pretty fun drunk. You know alcohol would make her say even dumber, crazier things.

Jessica Simpson is shown outside Katsuya with Ken Paves and her sister, Ashlee on 8/1/09. Credit: Fame Pictures and WENN.com

 

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25 Responses to “New theory: Jessica Simpson was dumped b/c she was drunk and/or fat”

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  1. englishbreakfasttasteslikedarjeeling says:

    why is it such a concern why they broke-up? and who in their right mind would read a book that she wrote. i can only imagine it would be by a ghost writer.

  2. Nev says:

    Jessica is a big drunk. Every body keep making excusses for her. The Simpson should thank Tony for dumping Jessica because now she is getting so much media attention.

  3. cheekemunkey says:

    OK, Celebitchy, you’ve sunk to a new low in ‘reporting’ celebrity gossip. I’m not a fan of Jessica’s, but this post is downright nasty. What is this, high school??!

    Despite the ‘chicken of the sea’ jokes, I’m certain that Jessica and Tony’s break up was slightly more complicated than her being drunk (? 1 incident or is a substance abuse issue implied?) or ‘fat’ (which she is not – quite rich coming from the land of many obese).

    I’m not sure who really needs to know the reasons they broke up (besides Jessica and Tony, that is). It must be a really slow Friday, or someone’s too lazy to do better research.

    I suggest you MOVE ON and I will, too (to other sites). Bye bye!

  4. Bam Bam says:

    Jess looks like a light weight and probably couldn’t keep up with him. For his camp to put out these rumors just makes him look worse.

  5. flourpot says:

    Nasty? I’m not seeing that. And hello! This is a gossip site. This post, gasp… wait for it… is gossip! Lighten up.

  6. Peanut says:

    Umm… Cheekemunkey? Maybe you should read the actual article and not just the headline?

  7. KateKap says:

    If thats the guy in question in the pic – omg that she didnt dump him is a crime.

  8. luna says:

    ditto to what poster #1 said.

    it’s weird, sometimes on this website writers are quick to point out who’s a “b lister” or “c lister” and how they’re famewhoring to combat their unimportance, but when it comes to simpson, it’s always aww poor jessica.

    i guess the public thinking you’re pathetic really can keep a career afloat…

    i understand that this site is about celebrity gossip, but unless there’s credible proof somewhere that something scandalous did happen in their breakup, is jessica simpson really that important that every whiff of a rumor has to be investigated and an article written up?

    i love reading celebitchy, but please, less articles on the useless jessica.

  9. luna says:

    and also, if anyone else in jessica’s “c-list” category wrote a book about their ex-boyfriends, my guess is that it would be considered tacky and famewhoring, but if jessica does it, it’s just poor jessica sticking it to her douche exes….

  10. flourpot says:

    i don’t usually post twice but Jess isn’t such a horrid singer. Not my style but the girl can carry a tune. So..not so useless.

  11. Sister Mary Francis says:

    WOW so she is going to admit she cheated on that goofy Lache boy? LMAO!

    Listen, I know this chick is a DRUNK. It is just her southern roots to partake in the drank and I can say that since my roots are the same shade of sheyat faced as hers:) Ive been out in the same places as her a few times…(she really is a tiny mite so thats why the pounds were more noticeable on her little frame)

    Shes a nice girl, stupid and SWEET. If she is writing this book she shouldnt! Some skeletons need to be in the closet girl! Her daddy is behind the book cause he reads the rags and noticed a back lash against all that christian preacher jizzness.

    So stupid!

  12. lrm says:

    ‘isolated incident’?
    I don’t even really pay attention to simpson,and even I have noticed that she is wasted in nearly every photo!!!
    I’d wager she’s got herself a little drinking problem.
    IMO of course.

  13. NJMDPS says:

    Leave the woman alone. It is awful how everyone is kicking her when she is down. Stop it.

  14. Sani says:

    So agree with you that JS has a drinking problems. I believe thats why some one has to go with her because she will end up drunk on her face some where.

  15. suede says:

    who cares why, she looks better now that she’s single

  16. lizzie says:

    I think that the whole drunk story was just a way for tony to stop being called a douche for the way he dumped her. If drinking was the issue it didnt seem like he minded being a drunk himself at all the clubs he visited right after the breakup or all the drunk girls he rubbed up on. It just proves he is a douche by trying to make himself look better at the cost of the girls dignity. Most of the stories have been negative reasons about why he dumped her and sorry excuses for it and all seem to be leaked by his people.

  17. fizXgirl314 says:

    let’s grow up shall we? a three year relationship has complications that are far more profound than being fat/drunk… yes, even one’s Jessica Simpson is in…

  18. t says:

    Jessica (and Joe) make their money off her endorsement deals and I’m sure they want to keep those. The companies passing those out want a famous person. Jessica is not famous for her blockbuster movies or popular country albums. She is known for stories about her in the tabloids, so I always assume any story about Jessica is leaked from her camp whether it’s negative or positive.

    Joe can see she’s gotten a lot of publicity this year for negative stories. By leaking this story, he might be hoping to get her some public sympathy while keeping her name in the press the easiest way he can. Plus, he can get extra press with a negative story if they issue an angry denial later.

  19. fizXgirl314 says:

    “ones” above shouldn’t have an apostrophe… i hate that!!!

    and, I don’t think any girl wants to be known for being fat and drunk… so, no, i don’t agree that she leaked this story.

  20. QB says:

    Is there any evidence that Romo say or did half the things people are calling him a douche for??

    This are all stories that Joe Simpson put out to have publicity, until they do something new.

  21. jane says:

    Um, Cheekymonkey – you Brits have SUCH BEAUTIFUL BODIES and no obese people…

    the US has many obese but also many beautiful bodies. More than one sees in Britain. I could bash your nation’s aversion to modern dentistry, but let’s leave it at that.

    If you’re so unconcerned about this gossip, why write a paragraph-long comment?

  22. LB says:

    Sounds to me like this story came from Tony’s camp. Everyone has been calling him a d-bag in every artcle I have read. Someone needed Jessica to look like a fat drunk and him to look like he really tried to keep the relationship together as long as possible. I don’t buy it. I go with the he’s a d-bag. He just comes across as one in pics and interviews..

  23. elisha says:

    Holy crap, her dishing the dirt on Bam AND Knoxville is her 100% ADMITTING she cheated on Nick Lachey! Gross.

  24. barneslr says:

    “It is just her southern roots to partake in the drank”

    Nice stereotyping! Yup, all us southerners gots us some stills in our back yards ‘n we drank our korn skweezins ever’ night! We even put ‘em in our babies bottles! Yee Haw!

    Idiot.

  25. Alex says:

    She has a drinking problem because she’s been photographed a few times drunk after a night out??? My girls and I must be the biggest alcoholics out there then! *eye-roll*

    Unless she’s out boozing hard most nights/days of the week I kinda doubt she has much of a drinking problem.